COLD CUTS: On A CRACKER FINAL

0:00The Hauraki Big Show with Jace, Mike and Keyzie. Tune in weekdays at four on Radio Hauraki.

0:07Keyzie:Pink Floyd there on the Radio Hauraki Big Show this beautiful Tuesday evening. Fellas, something very strange happened to me today.

0:13Mike Minogue:Was it a strange encounter?

0:15Keyzie:No. Strange encounters of the hoity car. Well, I suppose in a weird kind of way, it was a strange encounter, but... Lucky you played the sting there. I didn't really encounter the other thing that was going on. But usually with my strange encounters, it's with a human being. Yes. And they say weird stuff to me.

0:37Mike Minogue:But you can have an encounter with an animal or, you know, with a frickin', I don't know, alien.

0:42Keyzie:Well, I'll tell you what I had an encounter with. I was sitting out on my deck there, my little cut-off denims and my Crocs sucking on my vape, watching a bit of political stuff. effing and jeffing quietly to myself and I heard this weird noise and I was like what the you see come on Keezy what is that I said to myself and it was kind of electrical but I couldn't quite place it

1:13Mike Minogue:can you do an imitation of the noise for us

1:18Keyzie:sounds like someone who was gargling mouthwash it was more of a Oh, yeah. That sounds mechanical. Yeah. Okay. And so somewhat befuddled, I wandered out into my lawn, which is - Into your lawn? Naked? Onto my lawn. No, I had my denims on, man. My cutoffs. And it's Crocs. And I've got a big lawn, by the way, so there's plenty of space for me to view stuff.

1:48Mike Minogue:I've heard that. You've got a massive lawn and a tiny deck.

1:50Keyzie:and above me about probably 50 metres in the air, a drone.

1:59Mike Minogue:Oh, wow, that's annoying because they're everywhere nowadays.

2:02Keyzie:Right above my house. And I was like, my God, what's a drone doing right above my house? And I found it very off-putting. But then it sort of tilted a little bit and would go away about 10 metres and then come back again. Right. And it did that for about 10 minutes. What's going on there? Wow. It might have been shooting a real estate video. So someone's trying to sell my house. Somebody else's. Hopefully it was pointing at its camera somewhere else. Oh, okay. Yeah, maybe. Maybe not shooting directly down. Maybe shooting at a.45. Yeah, because where do they have the camera and a drone? On the underside.

2:38Keyzie:Oh, okay. Because it was literally directly above. I've got video of it.

2:42Mike Minogue:It's not pointing straight down. It's not a bird's eye view, you see. Right, okay. So, yeah, it was definitely a drone. Well, it sort of... What did it look like?

2:53Keyzie:Oh, it was black. Yeah. Yeah, okay, yeah. I don't know, it had a bit of white on it. Yeah.

2:57Mike Minogue:A bit of white, okay.

2:58Keyzie:Yeah, and it was like... Yeah.

3:02Mike Minogue:Yeah, yeah, it sounded great. And then it had little propellers on it.

3:05Keyzie:Yeah, well, more kind of wings. Yeah, right. You know what I'm saying? Drone with wings? Yeah. Well, drones have wings, don't they? They do. Well, some of them do. Those are more of the military-style ones because they're much bigger, you see. The US would have those. They go at a real height. Like in Pluribus, they have drones on Pluribus. They do. Very, very high. So were they fixed wing? Yeah, fixed wings. Fixed wing, not? Oh, like they moved.

3:30Mike Minogue:They flapped.

3:31Keyzie:Well, they flapped, yeah. But I mean, drones have flappy wings, don't they?

3:36Mike Minogue:Other than the Pluribus drones, I don't think so. I think you're describing a bird. It sounds like a tui with that white bit. Was it a tui? Was it like sort of greeny in the sunlight? No, it was black. Right. And it had white sort of down the chest. Yeah, that sounds like a tui.

3:50Keyzie:Sounds like a seagull. Was it a seagull? No. Oh, shit. It wasn't a penguin, was it? Can they fly?

3:58Mike Minogue:You're telling me a penguin was flying over your house.

4:01Keyzie:But the weird thing was it flew off and went into a tree and just stayed there.

4:05Mike Minogue:Oh, and back to its drone nest. The Hauraki Big Show. Weekdays from four on Radio Hauraki. My Heart Radio. Alter Ego.

4:19Oh, is he going now? Let's get another great New Zealander in the draw.

4:24Keyzie:Well, let's get two, in fact. By the way, on the cricket, we're 73 ahead, and the West Indies have just kicked off. Still yet to score, fellas.

4:34Mike Minogue:Yeah, so good. Back to Alter Ego, which is put on thanks to iHeartRadio. And thanks to our mates at Air New Zealand, you will win flights for you and a mate, direct. You'll also get a free hotel, of course, and$1 ,000 spending money as well. Yeah, good.

4:48Keyzie:Bloody good, mate. Let's go to the phone lines. G'day, David, you mad bastard. How's life? Yeah, good. Thanks, boys. How's everybody over there? Yeah, good. On your way home are you, David? I am, actually. Just pulled over to take a call. Oh, good on you, mate. Have you done an honest day's work for an honest day's dollar? Yeah, I think I have. Yeah, good on you. What do you do for a crusty, you sicko? A finance manager. Oh, good on you, mate. Get back, Bo. That's how we do it. Finance, man, actually, I need one of those. Maybe David and I can have a little chat. Stop trying to get people on the phone.

5:22Keyzie:Well, we were just talking about financial managers before. So, hey, David, if you won, who would you take with you? Well, my son would be horribly upset because he's a massive Green Day fan. Right. But I'd probably still have to take the missus. Yeah, that's the one, man. Yeah, no, definitely, man. I don't know if I'd be able to come home to that.

5:43Mike Minogue:Yeah, fair enough, Dave. I get it, man. Yeah, the trick is, I think Green Day play last on the, they're the last ones, you know, the headline in the show. So if you tell your son that you went along but then you went home before Green Day, man, he'd be stoked. Well, that's not going to happen. Good on you, Dave. You hold the line, an old pug son will chuck you in the drawer.

6:02Keyzie:G'day, Hayden, you mad bastard. How's life? Really good, fellas. Even better now. I tell you what, I see you're in welly, watching the cricket at the same time. Bloody beautiful down there today, mate. Hell of a day, especially up in the Carpeny Coast. Even better, yeah, that's a trick, mate. Yeah, nice.

6:18Mike Minogue:Hey, Hayden, I've always wondered this. What do you do for a crust? I'm a builder. No, mate.

6:26Keyzie:Actually, I could use a builder around my place just in terms of my deck and stuff. Stop trying to get people to work on your deck. Hayden, who would you take with you, mate? I think I'd have to make one of the boys scrap it out, I think.

6:37Mike Minogue:Yeah, which one of the boys are for you to pick, man? Who would you choose? Oh, I don't know, man. I don't know. It's too hard of a... Just say it, man, and then, you know, everyone will know that you love them. I can't put it out there. Yeah, no, I get you.

6:49Keyzie:I get you. All right, mate, will you stay on the line and Pugsum will take care of you, all right?

6:55Mike Minogue:Cheers, fellas. I appreciate it. Good on you, mate. Good luck. Thanks, mate. It's a massive prize, fellas. As mentioned there, you could go see Green Day Live, Cage the Elephant Sublime, plenty more as well. A hotel,$1 ,000. You and a mate, LA. Thanks to Air New Zealand. It's good eating. Yeah, it is. So good, eh? Such good eating, man. So good.

7:12Keyzie:Oh, here's a bit of T-Rex.

7:42Mike Minogue:We're going to read more out after six. In the meantime, over the weekend, I discovered quite an interesting idea for Christmas. A friend of ours made homemade Christmas crackers. Homemade. Homemade Christmas crackers. Yes. And the thing I liked about it was she had tailor-made the Christmas crackers to each person. Oh. Which I quite liked. Yeah.