In short
The episode is a mix of city-life gripes, comedy banter, and a rugby league grand-final promotion. Topic 1: Uber Eats chaos after moving to the CBD—an order marked “delivered” while the driver wasn’t at the correct apartment, followed by a failed replacement meal. The host’s wife then drove to a Dirty Bird shop, but they received chips (including potato and gravy) and no coleslaw, plus very dry chicken; the host refused to eat and went to bed. Topic 2: “Export Ultra Grand Final Bear Garden Tour” prize—three nights in Sydney, five-star hotel, return flights, harbour cruise, and grand final experience; listeners are encouraged to “punish” ACC head G Lane and Gerry Minaya with constant heckling. Topic 3: health/aging jokes about “work done,” “buzzy tightening,” and “arse implants,” plus travel-deal talk.
Guests
none appear as named interview guests; the show features hosts Jace, Mike, Keezy (Keezy absent in one segment), and Mogi/Pugson, plus callers Nevin (signwriter) and Jimmy (ex-rugby league player). Key claims/examples: Uber Eats “delivered” error; Dirty Bird order mistake; prize details and “punishment” idea; Stacey Jones try referenced as a past Warriors grand-final moment.
Written by AI. May contain mistakes. Listen to the episode to check what was said.
Chapters
Tap a time to open that second in VOUber Eats Frustrations
0:45 to 6:17
A humorous recount of a frustrating experience with Uber Eats.
“Now, Friday night, let me take you through it, fellas, and I know this is first world problems.”
Grand Final Tour Discussion
6:17 to 9:18
Discussion about the upcoming grand final event and contest details.
“Let's see who's joining Gerion Manaya on the Export Ultra Grand Final Bear Garden Tour.”
Travel Deals and Generational Differences
9:18 to 14:01
Exploration of how younger generations find better travel deals.
“Also, it's a one-off, and that's about the rugby league, Jase.”
Navigating Travel Deals and Online Savvy
14:01 to 16:41
Explore the challenges and successes in finding travel deals and the generational differences in online skills.
“And then you go on to sort of deals and it's like, oh, and then it doesn't work and then actually no and your phone number isn't actually a phone number and all this sort of stuff.”
Transcript
Automatic transcript. May contain errors.0:00Jason Hoyte:The Hauraki Big Show with Jace, Mike and Keyzie. Tune in weekdays at four on Radio Hauraki.
0:06Keyzie:Yes indeed, the hives there on the Radio Hauraki Big Show this Monday evening. The time is 5.47. Now fellas, you'll be aware of the fact that I've moved to the CBD. Ah. Ah.
0:22Keyzie:One of the best decisions I've made in my life. Absolutely love it. What's the name of your apartment again? No. The Jizz Palace. Oh, I see.
0:35Keyzie:Yeah, okay. Well, after this story, I'm tempted to name it The Jizz Palace because there's one thing that I've got a bit of a bone to pick about living in the city with.
0:47Jason Hoyte:I got a bone to pick.
0:50Keyzie:Uber Eats. Now, Friday night, let me take you through it, fellas, and I know this is first world problems.
0:56Jason Hoyte:Now, just quickly before you start, Did this thing on Friday night, did it bug you at all? Yeah, it bugged me. Okay, good. It's been bugging me. That's four stings, man. That's a record.
1:09Keyzie:Get home, and this often happens at my house on a Friday night. What are we going to have for dinner? No one, you know, my wife and I, oh, I don't know. And I said, leave it with me. You know, I'll get Uber Eats. What a hero. Leave it with me. I know. Leave it with me. So I finally, you know, I go through it. What about this place? What about this place? Blah, blah, blah. You finally get a place. I'll just order some stuff. Boom, boom, boom. Done. Okay? So I order the food on Uber Eats, and then I'm sitting there and I get a message nearly there from the driver. That's great. And I'm like, oh, God, that was quick.
1:43Keyzie:Because I said it would be like 20, 25 minutes. And I went, oh, okay. Coming down. Not happy. Coming down, I said. Because I like to go and meet them out the front. I don't like them to go into my apartment. Can I ask a question? Yes. When he says nearly there or whatever was said, are you looking on the app there and you can see where the vehicle is? In the ETA? Yes. Yes. Good. And what I often find, because that's why I was quite surprised. I was like, oh, well, that's weird, because it seemed like it was still a fair amount of time away. So I go down there. I wait outside. And now I've got to tell you my history of Uber Eaps in this particular place.
2:21Keyzie:It's never been successful. So I'm sitting there and he goes, I've arrived. And I'm like, good, I'm here. I'm out the front. You're looking at your app now. You can see that he's right outside your house. He's right there. He's on the street. Ah, yes. And I go, okay, well, you're not here because I'm standing outside the apartment. And he goes, oh, okay, just give me a minute. Nothing. Then he calls me and he goes, oh, I'm nearly there. And I'm thinking, okay, he obviously got the wrong place. He's coming down to me. And I go, okay, great. Then I'm sitting there. Nothing happens for a couple of minutes.
3:01Keyzie:And I go, text him and I go, so where are you? Are you looking at the picture of his car on the map? Yes, but it's just showing it sort of wobbling around on the street, basically. And then before he even answers, I get, your blah, blah, blah, has been delivered. Rate your driver. And I'm like, what? It hasn't been delivered. So I ring him back and I go, it's saying it's been delivered, man. What the fuck?
3:33That was so close. That was so close.
3:38Keyzie:And he sort of said something and then hung up. And then that thing came up again, rate your driver. And I was like. Let me guess, you gave him five stars? No. So I rang him back, cut off. Rang him back, cut off again. And I was effing and jeffing like you wouldn't believe, fellas. Well, I think you're over it now, though. Rang him back again and then I get the Uber line and it's saying, if you've got a complaint to make or blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, then you need to do this, this, this and this. Meantime, I've spent 80 bucks on this and some other bastard's got my food. I'm effing and jeffing.
4:18All of this on an empty stomach.
4:19Keyzie:All of this on an empty stomach. I was hangry. True story. I go back up to the apartment, Eiffen and Jeff and my wife say, oh, what a disaster. Why don't we just get some dirty bird? Yeah, right. I don't want to promote this particular thing. And we went, yeah, just do it, babe. Let's just do it. She said, I'll drive and go and get it because the Uber here is just useless.
4:38Jason Hoyte:Or will you just like, leave it with me, babe? Yeah.
4:41Keyzie:So she drives off to the nearest dirty bird shop.
4:45Jason Hoyte:Right.
4:47Keyzie:Both my wife and I hate their chips.
4:49Jason Hoyte:We don't like their chips. Oh, really? I like their chips.
4:51Keyzie:No, we hate them. So my wife goes there and orders the chicken and says, we don't want any chips. Can you give us two tubs of coleslaw? No problem.
5:01Jason Hoyte:So you'd rather eat the coleslaw than the chips?
5:03Keyzie:Yes, absolutely. That's a strange replacement. Not a potato and gravy guy? Oh, and we got potato and gravy and coleslaw, but we don't want chips. Right. Okay? My wife comes home, comes in with a big bag of Dirty Bird, opens it up. What's in the bag, fellas?
5:18Jason Hoyte:Chips. Chips.
5:19Keyzie:Three lots of chips, potato and gravy, and the driest dirty bird six-pack you will ever shove into your gob. Any coleslaw? But shove it you did. No coleslaw. Just three lots of chips, no coleslaw, two little tubs of potato and gravy, and the driest chicken I've ever eaten in my life. How many buzzies out of five? 0.1 buzzies. And in fact, I was so riled up by the stage, I just refused to eat and went to bed. Yeah, nice. That's the one, man.
5:51Jason Hoyte:Silent treatment, Pac-A-San. You should have gone to Reburger.
5:56Keyzie:Well, this is what I said in the outro, you know. I was like, damn it, why didn't I just get Reburger? I can't leave. And I know where they went again, and they always go to the same place when they're Uber Eats, and it's clearly not my place.
6:11Jason Hoyte:Got you good. The Hauraki Big Show, weekdays from four on Radio Hauraki. Let's see who's joining Gerion Manaya on the Export Ultra Grand Final Bear Garden Tour.
6:24Keyzie:Yeah, we don't know what it is exactly, do we? No. It's a grand final. In October. In October in Australia. In Sydney. In Sydney, yeah. In Sydney, Australia. Sydney in Australia, is it? Sydney in Australia. The Sydney Australia.
6:41Jason Hoyte:So tell me, Pugson, what's the actual prize? Three nights in Sydney in a five-star hotel. Return flights are races. Races? And Harbour Cruise. Does that mean going to the races? Yeah, I think so, yeah. Okay, and Harbour Cruise. And, of course, the grand final experience as well. And that's joining Gerry Minaya and ACC head G Lane. Now, am I right in saying the idea here is that we're trying to find backbones that are going to make this trip as punishing as possible for those fellas? I think that makes sense. I mean, I want to go and have a grand final experience. So if I can't go, then why should they enjoy their grand final experience?
7:17Keyzie:I agree. Let's go to the phone lines. G'day, Nevin, you massive backbone. How's life? Yeah, good, thanks, fellas. How are you guys? Yeah, good, thanks, Nevin. Tell me, mate, what do you do for a crust?
7:30Jason Hoyte:I'm just your casual, everyday sign writer.
7:33Keyzie:Oh, yeah, good on you, mate. Good on you. Now, I don't know if you heard what you were just saying there. We're looking for people to really punish the guys when they get away. Basically, get on the hammer responsibly very early doors and just never stop chatting and talking to them and being in their faces. I mean, do you think you're capable of something like that, Nevin?
7:54Jason Hoyte:Oh, absolutely, boys. I'd love to just get in the face of G Lane and just show him up and show him how it's really done. Yeah, yeah.
8:01Keyzie:That's the right attitude. Yeah, man. Yeah, good stuff. All right, Nevin. Great news for you, mate. You're in the draw. Awesome. Thanks, fellas. Good on you, mate. No worries. G'day, Jimmy, you mad bastard. How's life? Life's great, brother. How are you? Yeah, good, thanks, mate. Good. Can you be a pain in the arse, Jimmy?
8:22Jason Hoyte:Oh, I could try. I'd certainly have a good go at it.
8:25Keyzie:Yeah, yeah. How would you do it, Jimmy?
8:28Jason Hoyte:Oh, I don't know. I don't know if I'd do the Ian Roberts thing, but, you know, I used to play rugby league myself, and we had a guy that used to constantly drop the soap in the shower. Is that right? Well, there you go, man. Well, one thing you could do is, since you've got a bit of rugby league in your background there, just whenever G Lane's not looking or Manai, you just go up and you just close on them. Yeah, give them a good old fish and stiff arm.
8:54Keyzie:Yeah, the old stiff arm, Jimmy. And just scream at them on the ground. Da-doos! Da-doos! That's how you play rugby league. Good on you, Jimmy. You're in the draw too, mate. Thanks very much, boys. Good on you, mate. Yeah, good stuff. Yeah, well, I mean, it is one of those things because whatever it's going to be, it'll be pretty spectacular. It will be. A lot of people wanting to get involved. I know that you would want to get involved. I'd love to get involved in that. Also, it's a one-off, and that's about the rugby league, Jase. That's not the sort of thing you go along to and you're just getting hammered at.
9:24Yes. Particularly if the Waves are playing. That wouldn't be why I'd be there at all. I mean, I've been to one of the grand finals before with the Warriors. I watched us lose in 2002. That would have been huge. Missed the one in 2012. But if they get back there again, I'm going again. Oh, mate, it just doesn't sit right for me that it's with the breakfast guys. It really doesn't. Especially with the big show.
Read the full transcript
9:48Keyzie:I mean, we bleed rugby league on the show. I don't get it, man. Is that grand final? Was that that great Stacey Jones try? That's right. I remember that scything through the gap like the genius he was. Yeah, we were robbed that day. Oh! Huh, must be. White Stripes.
10:12Jason Hoyte:The Hauraki Big Show with Jase, Mike and Keezy. Tune in weekdays at four on Radio Hauraki.
10:18Keyzie:Faith No More there on the Radio Hauraki Big Show this Tuesday evening. The time is 5.51. Hey, by the way, even though Keezy's not here today, Mogi, we're still going to do What's on the Dinner with Me Pugsun. Oh, with Me Pugsun. No, What's on the D? Oh, What's on the D with Me Pugsun. So text through 3483 what you're having on the D, what your name is and where you're texting from. We'll get into that after six.
10:46Jason Hoyte:$50 rebug of vouchers up for grabs. Every text goes in the drawer.
10:50Keyzie:Mogi, I was thinking today, you know, I'm in pretty good shape. Compared to? Compared to a lot of people. You know, often people go, jeez, you're looking good, Jase. But it's like... People say that to you? Yeah, people say that to me all the time. All the time. You've heard this sort of people talking about how as you get older, you've got to take more care of yourself. You've got to exercise. You've got to build up your strength. You've got to focus more on that sort of stuff because if you don't use it, you lose it. That's true. And I've been thinking about that. And I pound the gym and I exercise all the time.
11:32Keyzie:And I was just saying to myself today, you know what, I'm over it. I'm over this. I mean, I don't know if you agree about this, but I feel like I've earned my stripes. You know, I've done all that sort of stuff, and I've reached the age now where I should be able to just get work done. You know what I mean? Forget all this exercise and whatever have you. Sort of health stuff. The health stuff. I don't need to do that anymore. I mean, I'm rich as, man. Why am I doing all this when I can just get work done, get my buzies tightened? Oh, work done. Yeah, what did you think I said? Well, do some work.
12:09Keyzie:Oh, no, no, work done. What's he talking about? Like buzzy tightening. You know, because you guys were having a few jokes yesterday about the fact that I'm wearing a tight sweatshirt and my buzzy's a very sort of pro. I can get those. A massive bar. I can get those. You know, the other thing, and you can relate to this big time, Moggy. I've got no arse left. Yep. So shove a few things in my arse, you know what I mean? Just a couple of, you know, what do they call those? Implants. Yes. You know, a couple of arse implants. I mean, I've earned my stripes. I should be able to just get this stuff done, pay it off.
12:42Keyzie:I agree. I agree. Back sack and crack. Yeah, all that sort of stuff.
12:47Jason Hoyte:Are you worried at all about the fact that the reason that you work out is not necessarily just for aesthetics, it's also to look after your body and for your body to be in. It's for the health. Yeah, yeah. That's right. To prolong your life.
12:59Keyzie:Nah, mate, I'm fit as a fiddle. I mean, you know what I'm saying? No. What kind of fiddle? Well, like a really fit fiddle. Fellas. How fit is a fiddle? They're pretty fit. They can be. If you can play them well. Yeah, well, I sort of feel like, yeah, why not chuck, you know, a few hundred thousand dollars at it? I would go with honker.
13:25Jason Hoyte:Extension. The Hauraki Big Show with Jase, Mike and Keezy. Tune in weekdays at four on Radio Hauraki.
13:33Keyzie:Foo Fighters there on the radio. Hauraki, big show this Wednesday evening. The time is 10 to 6. And, fellas, we were just talking, actually, about that fantastic prize that the listeners can win to go over to Sydney to watch the Lui Grand Final. And coincidentally, today, this very day, I was looking at flights to Sydney myself in October, strangely enough. And I'll be honest with you, as always, when I'm doing this sort of stuff, I'm effing and jeffing my way through it. It's pretty simple. Well, it's not simple, Keezy. And then you go on to sort of deals and it's like, oh, and then it doesn't work and then actually no and your phone number isn't actually a phone number and all this sort of stuff.
14:16Keyzie:Why are you talking about that? When you're entering details to try and get the deal, you know what I mean? And we've often talked about this and I actually ended up getting a deal. Great deal. Nobody's ever got a better deal. I tell you what. It's a deal of the century. It's fantastic. But then I was like, you know, I've got all these daughters, hundreds of them. Yes. And as we've spoken before, that generation seems to me to be much more online savvy, much more onto it in terms of finding deals. Like my daughters have travelled all around the world legitimately. And like when I find out how much they paid for certain things, I'm like, how the do you do that?
14:56Keyzie:Yeah. How do you find these places? And I know, Keezy, you're the same. you're very good at finding deals to fly to Japan or something like that.
15:04Jason Hoyte:Yeah, my wife and I are pretty savvy, whereas you strike me as a guy who'll walk into House of Travel or something and say, can you book me a flight to... Or you'll find yourself trying to get a deal online and the internet says to you, that's not a real phone number. Yes. Which I've never heard of.
15:18Keyzie:Well, you put in your phone number and it just goes, that's not an actual number. True. What? And that actually happened to me flying back from Brisbane when you have to do the traveller's declaration. that was saying this isn't a legitimate number. Did you do the plus six four thing? Yes, six four, all of it. Yeah. But this sort of stuff happens to me. And I'm thinking to myself, what am I doing here? Yeah, sir. I've got this amazing commodity at my disposal. Your daughter. My daughters. You know, I've reached an age now where I should just be able to go, girls, this is where I want to go. This is when I want to go there.
15:55Keyzie:Sort it for me. How old's your oldest? My oldest is 30. How old are you? Right, so you had it when you were nine. Yes.
16:05Jason Hoyte:Crazy. Right, okay. It's amazing the difference in, like, online capability between 39 years of age and 30. Yeah. Exactly, though. Or 39 and 34, like you are.
16:16Keyzie:Oh, 100%. Yeah. But, yeah, I mean, you come in here, Kesey, you know, you talk about all your overseas travel, and, oh, me and my wife got this amazing, amazing deal, and I'm like, and you've done the same thing, Mogi, and taken Kesey's advice, maybe I have reached that age where I now need to go, I'm not good at this. I'm going to give it to people that are.
16:34Jason Hoyte:Or just learn your phone number. I know my phone number. But you're typing it in wrong or something. Not according to customs. You don't, man.
16:42Keyzie:But having said that, I did secure an amazing deal. We're off to Sydney to Australia in October. Who are you flying with? Botswana Airlines. Your daughter sorted that? No, that was me. This is one of my, yeah, yeah. Yeah, boxed wider, eh? Apparently they're really good. How long's the trip? The flight. There's about seven stopovers. Yeah. About, I think it was in total about 42 hours.
17:11Jason Hoyte:The Hauraki Beat Show with Jase, Mike and Keezy. Tune in weekdays at four on Radio Hauraki.
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