In short
Awkward celebrity sighting at a cafe, a “blood moon” segment turned into a mistaken fertility/animal-castration joke, and Pugson’s “Dirty 30” birthday plans; plus a debate about Keezy’s food history after he tries salmon.
Guests/backgrounds
No formal guests; hosts are Jace, Mike, and Keezy. Richie McCaw appears only as a story subject (All Blacks legend). Pugson is the birthday person. “Jerry” is mentioned as a co-host/voice in another segment.
Key claims
Richie McCaw made eye contact with the narrator; he later joked about someone “shitting themselves” on a helicopter ride. The blood moon is a total lunar eclipse, but the hosts riff about chopping animals’ “knackers” for fertility. Pugson’s party is at a pub with a bar tab and a “Dirty 30” theme.
Notable examples
Breakfast sushi at Breakers corporate hospitality; Keezy allegedly tried salmon for the first time at 34. Pugson’s invite: “Dirty 30,” Saturday night, 7am/7pm confusion, and “Toledos” (heaps).
Written by AI. May contain mistakes. Listen to the episode to check what was said.
Chapters
Tap a time to open that second in VOEpisode Discussion
0:00 to 14:00
“The Hauraki Big Show with Jace, Mike and Keyzie.”
Culinary Tastes and Chicken Nuggets
14:00 to 15:54
The hosts discuss personal culinary preferences, including a humorous take on chicken nuggets.
“I mean, you're just a down-on-the-farm kind of fella, meat and three veg.”
Transcript
Automatic transcript. May contain errors.0:00The Hauraki Big Show with Jace, Mike and Keyzie. Tune in weekdays at four on Radio Hauraki.
0:06Keyzie:New order there on the Radio Hauraki Big Show this Tuesday evening. The time is 5.46. Now, fellas, this is a bit of a weird one and it's a true, true story. True, true. Saturday morning, went for breakfast with my lovely wife. Lovely. Who I stuffed up her birthday present for. But anyway, we sat down at our local cafe, and then I looked across, and sitting right next to me, like maybe two foot away, was the one and only, the great Richie McCaw. Wow. And I said to myself, okay, there's a Richie. Did you say that out loud? No. Oh, you thought it. I thought it in my head. Yeah. I was like, Richie McCaw's sitting there.
0:54Mike Minogue:Is that what your internal voice sounds like?
0:56Keyzie:Is that how you think? Richie McCaw is sitting there. And my wife, she didn't know, and I sort of did a bit of a nod, and she was looking at me weirdly. But anyway, I noticed, and then I looked away from him, and I noticed that he was looking at me. And I sort of turned to look at him, and then he looked away again. Oh, yeah.
1:18Mike Minogue:Bit of eye tag.
1:19Keyzie:And I went, okay, was he looking at me, and does he recognise me? Now, I need to preface this with the fact that...
1:27Mike Minogue:Yes, we know. You're famous. We get it.
1:28Keyzie:I've met Richie McCaw, and we've flown in the helicopter with him. He's taken us especially on a flight. We were on a special trip. It was a special trip for you. A very special trip for everyone involved.
1:38Mike Minogue:Wasn't that to the Black Clash?
1:39Keyzie:Yeah. No, it wasn't to the Black Clash. It was while we were down there, and we just went for a little tiki tour. Yeah, it was great. About just me and you, Jason, and Richie McCaw. And Richie McCaw. So in my head, I'm going, no, not old Keezy. Matt Heath was in there. Oh, Matty Heath, yes. Yeah. So I'm thinking to myself, no, I'm pretty sure he knows me. Was that what you're sitting there thinking? It was more like, well, I'm pretty sure he knows me. Your internal, yeah. That was my internal voice.
2:10Mike Minogue:What do you reckon his internal voice sounds like?
2:13Keyzie:Is that Jason Hoyt over there? Is that old Hoytie Jizz? Look at the hunger on that bastard. God, it's massive. And as I was thinking, now I'm pretty certain he knows. Rock, rock, rock, mall. Rock, mall. I'm pretty certain that his internal monologue, because he wasn't giving anything away either. Oh, yeah, he's a pretty stoic. He's stoic bastard. And then he looked at me again while I was thinking, I wonder if he knows who I am and he remembers me. And then I was like, I should really go and say g'day. Yeah. But then I looked at him and he looked away again. And I was like, okay, this is weird.
2:52Keyzie:And then I thought internally, I was like, oh, my God, what if I go up to him and say goodnight? He doesn't even know who I am, just some sort of rampant bloody fan. Not the hoity jizzmeister.
3:04Mike Minogue:That's your internal voice, right? That was my internal voice, yeah, yeah.
3:08Keyzie:So I froze under pressure, and I was like.
3:12Mike Minogue:And how long did you stay frozen for?
3:14Keyzie:Oh, quite a while. I didn't even have an internal voice at that point. So you were just silent. Perfectly still. There was a fork halfway to your mouth. Yeah, it was stuck there, and there were like tumbleweeds blowing across my mind. But genuinely, and then it just got really awkward, and we played this eye tag for the rest, and the order took forever. And I'm sitting there, and I'm thinking to myself, my God, this order's taking forever. Was that your internal monologue? That was my internal monologue again. Who was he with? He was with his partner. Oh, yeah, wife, yeah. Yes. And so it's like, but then even if he does know me, which I'm pretty sure he does, is intrusive, while they're having their breakfast, to say, you know, oh, get a Richie, you mad bastard, and slap him on the back, give him a bit of a pat on the arse.
4:02I don't think it has to be anything silly. Right. But he absolutely would have remembered you. Yes. Yeah. I mean, after that helicopter ride, he said, he literally said, that is the first time anybody has ever shit themselves in a helicopter ride with me. And that was you.
4:23Yeah.
4:24Mike Minogue:Wow, so that did happen. I thought he was just joking. No, I shat myself.
4:29Keyzie:And in my head I'm going, oh, God, I've shat myself.
4:33Mike Minogue:The Hauraki Big Show. Weekdays from four on Radio Hauraki.
4:37Keyzie:You're there on the Radio Hauraki Big Show this Tuesday evening. The time is 6.34.
4:44Mike Minogue:Exciting news, Fiel. Well, as I mentioned last week that the blood moon was coming. The blood moon.
4:50Keyzie:Yeah.
4:50Mike Minogue:Otherwise known as a total lunar eclipse. That is going to be happening tonight between sort of 9.45. It starts to move into position. Oh. And then apparently. It's not a ghost. Or is it? Apparently between midnight and 1 a.m. Oh. Okay, this is just confusing. It's not a ghost. So between midnight and 1am is the best time to see the blood moon.
5:18Keyzie:I'll be asleep. Yeah, you'll be fast asleep. Damn it. I'll probably be making love.
5:22Mike Minogue:I don't think so, man. You forgot your wife's birthday again, so I don't think so. But what I've done, though, fellas, I've taken your advice on board. As you said last week, it's all about fertility, isn't it? The blood moon. Yes. And so I've sharpened my knife there because you said I've got to go out and chop the knackers off of any animals that I see. And it's like a tradition. That's why they call it the blood moon because you're bloodletting. Sorry? Well, you said that it's called a blood moon because when the blood moon happens, it's like once every now and then you go and chop the knackers off of all the animals around you, and then it helps bring fertility.
5:58Well, firstly, I don't remember saying that, do you? I have absolutely no recollection of saying that. How does chopping the knackers off something help with fertility? That doesn't make sense, Kesey. So you just stop and think for a minute. Now just stop and think. All right? Does that make any sense? No, it doesn't make any sense. Right, okay.
6:19Mike Minogue:But you told me this on Thursday or Friday or something. Yeah. And you said that I have to chop the... Were you going to go and do it? Well, I don't really want to. No, you should. Well, no, hang on. Are you guys not going to do it? Because you said that's what it's about.
6:35Keyzie:I don't know what you're talking about. Are you some sort of psychopath, Kesey? No! You can't do that to animals, man. They hate it. No, of course.
6:43Mike Minogue:I don't want to do it.
6:43Keyzie:Can't go around chopping the balls off animals. What kind of animals are we talking about here? I don't know.
6:47Mike Minogue:You said like dogs and a goat or something. Never. What? Were you steamed? Oh, maybe I misheard you. Because remember I was like, oh, you know, a blood moon. What? What? Remember, remember? No, I was, you know, I remember being like, oh, a blood moon is when the earth and the sun and the moon are all in one big line. and you guys are like, nah, nah, that's where you chop the knackers off.
7:16Keyzie:Okay.
7:17Mike Minogue:Did I?
7:17Keyzie:Yeah. Did you dream that, Keezy? Maybe it was a dream of some description. Yeah.
7:23Mike Minogue:Maybe it was a dream.
7:24Keyzie:Yeah.
7:24Mike Minogue:So I bought a knife for nothing. Oh, it won't be. You could use it for something else. Yeah, I was kind of fired up to chop the knackers off, to be honest. It's not a ghost. The Horaki Big Show with Jace, Mike and Keezy. Tune in. Weekdays at 4 on Radio Hodaki.
Read the full transcript
7:42Keyzie:The offspring there on the Radio Hodaki big show this Wednesday afternoon. The time is 4.34. And something very exciting is happening this weekend. Namely, our good mate, our old cobber, Pugson, is turning 30. Ooh, it's Pugson.
8:03Mike Minogue:G'day, fellas. How are you? Hi. Happy birthday, man, for the weekend. It's a bit early. Yeah, I know, but this saves me... For the weekend. It's on Sunday. This saves me from saying it over the weekend. Oh, okay. You've invited us all to your birthday shindig. Yeah. Which is at a pub. Yes. So I was just wondering, what is the deal here? What are we... Well, I'm excited. Yeah, I'm excited too. Seeing that invite come through and having the theme as Dirty 30, I was like, yes, boy. Yes, let's go. Yeah, yeah, yeah. It should be fun. I don't really know what that entails, but I'm excited to try it out.
8:35Keyzie:Well, from your past, I've got a fair idea what it's going to entail. Pugs on.
8:42Mike Minogue:Pugs on, yeah.
8:43Keyzie:I'm keen. I'm keen as dirty 30.
8:47Mike Minogue:I'm not so keen to get amongst the dirty stuff. I just wonder, what's the food sitch? You got food? Oh, yes. Bar tab, that sort of stuff. How big are we going? It's sort of more just like a, I'm going to be at this pub. Come by. Let's have a beer together. So it's sort of like a party without you reaching into your pocket. Oh, that sounds shit. That sort of thing. So it's not really a party so much as someone owns a pub and I'm going to be there. Do you want to come along? Yeah, I don't think I ever mentioned a party or called it a party, which is, yeah.
9:16Keyzie:Well, you said it was a big day for you and you'd like us all to be there. I assumed there'd be a bar tab. Yeah. At least a bar tab. Did I write that in the invite? Yeah, it's on the bottom there. Oh, did I write it in the bar tab? Oh, I did. And will there be snacks, your wedges, your little small plates of shit. Your calamari, which is just batter. Yeah, which is just batter. Will there be a variety, a plethora, if you will, Pugsana food?
9:44Mike Minogue:How about we list them off and you say whether they're there or not? There is a kitchen at the bar that makes delicious food. Yeah, yeah, good.
9:52Keyzie:Oh, yeah, some sliders would be good, Keesi. Will you have sliders?
9:55Mike Minogue:Will I have sliders? No, it's not really my thing. Hot dogs. I like hot dogs. Are you going to have hot dogs there? It sounds like there's no food and no booze. That sounds shit.
10:07Keyzie:So hang on, hang on. Why are we going? I don't know at this point. Well, apart from the fact that it's going to be filthy. Well, it's Pugs' birthday. And we know what he means by filthy. Dirty. So people are going to be dressed up in little cozies, aren't they? What's a cozy? A costume. Or lack thereof from the parties that you were telling us about a few months ago.
10:31Mike Minogue:It's going to be you and some other people dressed up in slutty stuff and no food and no booze. Yeah. Well, it's there if you want to buy it. Right. What, the people or the costumes? Depends how dirty you're getting, Pugs. Okay, cool. So this is not to be missed. This is the event of the season. Is it? When is this again? When is this? This weekend. Saturday night.
10:57Keyzie:Are you sure? Have you got something on? Because I'm sure. I'm pretty certain I put that in my calendar, but this Saturday, was it? Yeah. At seven, did you say?
11:08Mike Minogue:Well, hang on. If he's not going, I'm not going either. I don't want to be there on my own.
11:13Keyzie:Oh, well, that's a shame. Guess I won't see you guys there. I mean, I'll be there, obviously, because it's going to be a dirty, sturdy party.
11:20Mike Minogue:Yeah, right, okay. Mogi, are you going? I'll be there for sure. 7 a.m. Yeah. Yeah. Will there be any Toledos? heaps. There you go. Yeah, I'm down there. There you go. If you want to go to Pugs' birthday party, 3483. Yeah, we'll add you to the door list. Or you can just walk in. Yeah, sure. It's probably going to be terrible anyway. The Hauraki Big Show with Jace, Mike and Keezy. Tune in weekdays at four on Radio Hauraki.
11:50Keyzie:Smashing pumpkins here on the Radio Hauraki Big Show this Thursday evening. The time is 5.38.
11:57Mike Minogue:Fellas, I've got a bone to pick with breakfast. I got a boner bit. I was listening to The Breakfast Show this morning. Why would you do that? Whilst eating my granola. I don't know, because I care about the station.
12:12Mike Minogue:It was probably just after 8 o 'clock. I want to say about 10 past 8. I heard some audio on The Breakfast Show, which I was not happy with. We went and watched the Breakers last game here in New Zealand. And we were invited into the corporate hospitality, which you'd know very well, Jerry. And they had platters of sushi going around. Oh, yeah? Yeah, and we ate some of the sushi. And then Keezy the Mad Bastard was with us, and I overheard him say that it was, I think, the first time he'd ever tried salmon. Keezy is a what, 30-year-old man? 34. 34-year-old man. And he was trying salmon for the first time?
12:54I've heard some pretty crazy things about Keezy. He did used to eat chicken nuggets famously as a kid. That was all he ate. So I understand he's quite, he's one of those kids that had super taste buds that anything tasted intense for him. Yeah.
13:07Mike Minogue:What the hell are they on about? Don't know. That's a yarn. All that's a yarn.
13:12Keyzie:What do you mean then?
13:13Mike Minogue:Well, we're at the breakers, I think it was a week ago. I can't even remember to be honest. There was sushi going around. Big night, eh? No, it wasn't. It wasn't, Jase. There was sushi going around. I ate a piece of salmon sushi and I said, It's the first time I've had salmon sushi before. I'm not a fan of salmon. Yeah. So that's turned into Keezy's trying salmon for the first time at 34 years of age. And I don't like seafood, to be honest. But also, Jerry's thing about Keezy famously only ate chicken nuggets as a kid.
13:39Keyzie:Yeah, I never knew that, but that stacks up. Yeah, it makes sense. And now it's like the dumplings. What? Well, you've changed chicken nuggies for dumplings.
13:49Mike Minogue:Well, yeah, and there's the pork mints as well. Yeah, and pork mints. Yeah, yeah. And to be honest, I still don't mind a chicken nugget.
13:55Keyzie:And I have to say your lack of culinary sophistication worries me at times. Really? I mean, you're just a down-on-the-farm kind of fella, meat and three veg. Yeah. You know, and I think that's a good thing. And I, you know. You're a simple man. You're a simple man with simple tastes. You're a simple man.
14:19Mike Minogue:Yeah, thank you. What I was getting at is you forgot ham and pineapple frozen pizza as well. Oh, yeah, of course. Out the freezer there. I am a simple man with simple tastes, but I would argue that my culinary sort of, I don't know, I also quite enjoy a lot of dishes from all around the world. Yes. I'm very adventurous with my eating. You're adventurous. But Jerry's got it in his head, and I remember where it started. It's like seven years ago. I was on the show with him and Matt for some reason, Matt Heath, and I said that I loved chicken nuggets as a kid, which is like everyone loved chicken nuggets as a kid and then that turned into Keezy only ate chicken nuggets as a kid and his palate couldn't handle anything but chicken nuggets I just want to say that it's not true I do really like nuggets though and loved them as a kid don't worry people won't think any less of you
15:07Keyzie:yeah I mean I think people got a pretty fulsome picture of Keezy they know what they're dealing with Yeah, that's right. Yeah, cool.
15:19Mike Minogue:Because people have to deal with me, right?
15:21Keyzie:Well, I mean, Keezy's coming over. Chuck a bowl of chicken nuggies or some dumplings. Get a bear up. A bit of sauce. Get a bear up him. He's a happy boy.
15:33Mike Minogue:You don't put bears up me, all right? You tip them down me. If you did do that, Jason might have given you a 7 out of 10. Oh, you like that? Oh, that's right. You gave me a 6, eh? The wine was served in a tumbler.
15:46Keyzie:Because of your European adventures?
15:49Mike Minogue:No, because you don't have wine glasses. Don't lie. Anyway.
15:54Keyzie:Here's Queen to the Stone Age. The Hauraki Big Show with Jase, Mike and Keezy. Tune in weekdays at four on Radio Hauraki.
From the publisher
On today's bonus best bits from the week that was, there's feelings of remorse, confusion, anger and excitement. Enjoy!
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