In short
The Hauraki Big Show episode “Cold Cuts: Put It Away” mixes listener advice, banter, and sports/music talk. Topic 1: handling intrusive sexual thoughts and dreams at work and in relationships.
Guests
Jace, Mike, and Keezy (radio hosts).
Key claims
don’t send jokey advice emails—send genuine questions; bringing fantasies into the open can normalize them and help someone move on; indulgence in private time is an option.
Notable examples
“Anonymous” worries about a steamy dream about a work colleague and how to act normal; another caller describes a wife dreaming her husband had an affair for 30+ years with a woman who later appears to have a real-world connection. Topic 2: Radiohead’s Australia-only tour (no NZ dates) sparks plans to try booking Tom York on air. Topic 3: a camping couple’s email about a husband’s celebrity crush on Keezy leads to “hall pass” jokes.
Written by AI. May contain mistakes. Listen to the episode to check what was said.
Chapters
Tap a time to open that second in VOAdvice Segment Begins
0:45 to 2:43
The hosts discuss receiving genuine advice questions from listeners.
“And if we read it on the show, you get a re-burger voucher.”
Handling Steamy Dreams
2:43 to 4:54
Discussion on how to deal with dreams about work colleagues and maintaining professionalism.
“You brought it out into the open and then sort of normalise it.”
The Shocking Bastard
4:54 to 5:25
A humorous revelation about the hosts' past romantic dreams and how to address them.
“I'd go right there in your private time.”
Radiohead Tour Announcement
5:25 to 7:27
Hosts discuss the upcoming Radiohead tour and their frustration about no New Zealand dates.
“A lot of people won't like them, but the vast majority of people, you know, intelligent people, Jase.”
Planning a Celebrity Interview
7:27 to 9:09
Hosts brainstorm ideas for getting Tom York on their show to discuss the tour.
“Just to ask him And then maybe get, I don't know Like the Mayor of Japan on or something Yeah, the Mayor of Japan Yeah, I mean We're mates with the Mayor of Japan Or the Captain of Australia Yeah, yeah, yeah.”
Would You Rather: NRL vs Bathurst
9:26 to 14:00
Hosts engage in a fun debate about whether they'd prefer the NRL Grand Final or Bathurst.
“I've watched the Woz a lot, but the Grand Final is one I've never done.”
Campfire Confessions
14:00 to 15:12
A humorous discussion about a husband's celebrity crush and its implications.
“We love getting amongst nature, but mostly we love sitting around the campfire, sinking beers and having a good yarn.”
Exploring Celebrity Crushes
15:12 to 17:01
The hosts debate the nature of celebrity crushes and what it means for relationships.
“He's got plenty of stuff to stimulate his passion.”
Transcript
Automatic transcript. May contain errors.0:00Mike Minogue:The Hauraki Big Show with Jace, Mike and Keyzie. Tune in weekdays at four on Radio Hauraki.
0:06Keyzie:Yes, indeed, the Pixies there on the Hauraki Big Show this Monday evening. Fellas, I know we're feeling a bit weary on it being a Monday and all that jazz, but hey, let's give out some advice. Be pretty, nip 69.
0:24Mike Minogue:At gbow.com. Get in touch with the fellas. Please do get in touch if you're after some advice of any kind. Specifically the genuine advice kind. Yeah, man. A lot of people sending like jokey ones.
0:38Keyzie:Yeah, no, don't do that, man. Don't waste my time.
0:41Mike Minogue:But like jokey ones that are just filthy and we can't actually do anything with? Yes. So we like real questions. And if we read it on the show, you get a re-burger voucher.
0:48Keyzie:Well, like for example, Keezy, at the moment I've got really itchy pubes. What's that about? Should I get it checked out?
0:55Mike Minogue:The pubes are itchy or the pubis area? Well, they're sort of where my pubes are. The pubis? Yes. Yeah, email into this email address. Yeah. And I'll ignore it.
1:07Keyzie:Yeah, okay, cool.
1:08Mike Minogue:G'day, fellas. This is Anonymous. I'm in a happy relationship but have had a conundrum. I had a very steamy dream about a new work colleague. I didn't think much of it, but now every time I'm chatting to her, it comes to the forefront of my mind. I try act normal. I try act normal but the more I'm thinking act normal the weirder I feel like I am acting I know Mike and Keezy have had a similar situation and I just want to know how to move past things I've seen in my head and go back to two normal working adults cheers
1:38Keyzie:I think he's referring to your erotic dream about Keezy there remember that dream Mogi? not really yeah come on man same thing with Pugs with my missus so how do you move past it? Well I don't know if you do Kesey No you indulge it It's quite interesting what old mate says there anonymous is it? Yeah That every time you talk to each other it's at the forefront of your mind well that's been that way for probably three months now with you and me I'm looking at you now talking about this email that anonymous has sent through but in my mind's eye
2:13Mike Minogue:Right Filth You just been a filthy person Yeah yeah I'm loving it So I'm too screening at the moment I've got this one thing that's happening in reality than one thing that's happening in my mind's eye. Fantasy. And how do you keep it? Because I don't feel like you're acting weird around me. No, I know. You just get used to it. It just becomes your reality, your normality. So this guy's freaking out a little bit. But I think the one thing that's really helped me was bringing it up when I raised it with you. Yeah, yeah. Sort of brought out into the open that bad behaviour of yours. Yeah. You brought it out into the open and then sort of normalise it.
2:44Everybody knew that you're a shocking bastard. We were able to move on. Yeah. So if he does the same thing with her, Yeah. Hey, I've had this dream about you. Shock and bastard. You were terrible. If you could knock it off, I'd appreciate it.
2:57Keyzie:Funnily enough, my wife had a dream last night. Yeah. And she never has these dreams. That I'd been having an affair for like longer than we'd been together. Yes. And that with this woman that used to be at the comedy club. Oh, really? Not Justine. Not Justine. Not only that, she had died. Your missus? No, the woman who I was having the affair with. I'm not going to name her. Okay. And so my wife, when I told her, was kind of really upset about it, but also didn't want to really have a go at me because...
3:37Mike Minogue:Your mistress had just died. My mistress had died. So is this in the dream you were telling her that this woman had died? Or in reality, when she hit you up with it, you said, oh, she's dead?
3:48Keyzie:No, I think she knew that she'd died, but also that I'd had an affair for over 30 years with her. Right.
3:55Mike Minogue:Very specific dream, Jase. Yeah, it was. It was very specific. And was the person a real person? Yes. Would I potentially know her? No. Of her?
4:04Keyzie:No. And funnily enough, this person's name at her job today, she was taking the person she was with to what she thought was this old cafe called Alan Peet's in Parnell there. and she turned up to where she thought more, where Alan Peets used to be. Used to be, yeah. And the name of the new place was the name of the woman who she said I was having the affair with.
4:29Mike Minogue:That renamed it to Jace's mistress, essentially.
4:31Keyzie:Her name, yes.
4:33Mike Minogue:Wow.
4:33Keyzie:Wow. That's weird. That is weird, isn't it?
4:36Mike Minogue:I'm sorry to hear that, man.
4:37Keyzie:You guys are almost too close. Busted after all these years. And my wife never has those sort of dreams. I used to all the time. Yeah, because you're a shocking, you know. I am a shocking bastard. Yeah, yeah.
4:48Mike Minogue:So the advice is just out with it, let her know, and just move on.
4:53Keyzie:I would indulge it. I'd go right there in your private time. Oh, you're walking, I'd be like, hello. Hello. Had a dream about you last night. Well, you remember, Mogi. What was it about? Can't say, but just know. Remember when we were at the Bear Fest? Yes. And that woman came up to us. That's right. And she gave me a hug and she said, I had a dirty dream about you. I had a dirty dream about you. Boom. You should have seen Josh. I was like, yeah. Absolutely all over it. Here we go.
5:21Mike Minogue:And you were like, my old mistress just died. I'm in the market for another one. The Hauraki Big Show. Weekdays from four on Radio Hauraki.
5:29Keyzie:Tom Petty there on the radio. Hauraki Big Show this Tuesday night. Fellas, big news, big news. Breaking news?
5:38Mike Minogue:Yes. Okay. Yes.
5:47Radiohead are coming. How good. Yeah, man. How good. One of the greatest bands of all time. A lot of people won't like them, but the vast majority of people, you know, intelligent people, Jase. Love them. I don't like them. They get it. You know, some of you dum-dums, they don't quite understand what's going on there, but went and saw Tom York, I think it was last year, maybe the year before. Yes. Absolutely unbelievable. and the opportunity to see Radiohead rejoin and touring again is upon us. How good. Sadly, oh, it's a 16-date tour as well, Keezy. Wow. Australasian tour, love that. Australian tour.
6:21So all in Australia. All of them. Six in Melbourne, six in Sydney, four in Perth, zero in New Zealand.
6:30Mike Minogue:How's that about? It's bullshit. And I don't even like Radiohead. That sucks, man. That's bullshit. I went to the Tom York one as well.
6:36Keyzie:It was bloody brilliant. Wasn't it unbelievable? I'm filthy about that, Mogi. What the hell's going on? I would like to know, I'd like to please explain. Yes. If you're not going to come here, I think the least we deserve is a please explain.
6:51Mike Minogue:Actually, I know. You can go 16 times in Australia, not even once in Auckland. Yeah. I've got a good idea. I know a guy who could potentially get Tom York for us. Yes. Pugs. Pugs. Could you potentially get Tom York on the line for us, man? No, just at some point during the week
7:09Keyzie:Yeah, we just want to have a word with them, man If that's possible Is that all G? Yeah, yeah, sure Why not? And then they're going to Japan Just have a crack They're going to Japan as well Because you know about Japan, Pugs Yes And they're going to play five shows in Japan And still none in New Zealand
7:25Mike Minogue:Okay, so Pugs Could you try and get Tom York on Just to ask him And then maybe get, I don't know Like the Mayor of Japan on or something Yeah, the Mayor of Japan Yeah, I mean We're mates with the Mayor of Japan Or the Captain of Australia Yeah, yeah, yeah. What's that? The captain of Australia. See if he'll give us a couple of gigs. Yeah, so. We should do some horse trading around this jizz.
7:43Keyzie:I think so, man. Don't tell him what we're going to talk about, though, because. Tom York. Yeah, because we want to go him when he's on air, because I think that'll be great radio. If you could do that, Pugs.
7:54Mike Minogue:So it's like an attack thing.
7:56Keyzie:Well, just say, hey, we're huge fans. Would you come on our radio show? And then we'll go him. Yeah. Gotcha journalism styles. Gotcha. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
8:04Mike Minogue:So we'll be like, oh, hey, Tom, love what you're doing, blah, blah, blah. I'm carrying an Aussie. Why are you going to do this? Yeah, yeah. And then we'll just bag him. Yeah, yeah. We're going to do that with the Mayor of Japan as well. Yeah, and the Captain of Australia. The Captain of Australia will be a bit nicer because we want him to give us some of these gigs there.
8:19Keyzie:Yeah, but we'll definitely go the Mayor of Japan. I actually quite like him, so I probably won't. The Mayor of Japan.
Read the full transcript
8:25Mike Minogue:Okay, well, maybe Mogi will be the one going in on him then. Yeah, okay. Yeah, it's cool, Pugs. Thanks, mate. Bloody good producer, that's right. He's really good, isn't he? He's good, man. Yeah, fuming about that, actually. Fuming. So it means I'll probably have to go to Australia. Again. A little bit more time off there, fellas. Oh, g'day, mate. Oh, hi, mate. Yeah. Look, if you want the chance to win all our on-air competitions and stuff and get amongst the live conversation, tune in to the Hauraki Big Show, four to seven weekdays on Radio Hauraki and iHeartRadio. The Hauraki Big Show with Jase, Mike and Keezy.
9:05Mike Minogue:Tune in weekdays at four on Radio Hauraki. One simple question, one weekend of a lifetime. Would you rather?
9:15Keyzie:Yes, indeed. The NRL Grand Final or Bathurst. Was or cars as we're phrasing it?
9:22Mike Minogue:It's a bloody good phrase, Jase. I mean, nowadays, obviously, I'm straight into NRL Grand Final. I've never been. I've been to Magic Round three times. I've watched the Woz a lot, but the Grand Final is one I've never done. Yeah. I've always wanted to go to State of Origin, but also I don't care as much about State of Origin as I do about a Grand Final. Do you care about a Grand Final if the Woz aren't in it, though? I do. Yeah, right. I do because it's still like the whole season has culminated in this one game on a Sunday, late Sunday night, and to be in Sydney, I reckon that would be better for me than State of Origin.
9:56That's generally what puts me off is like I would watch it, but it's on at about 10.30 or 11 o 'clock on a Sunday night. Something ridiculous, you know what I mean? Here in New Zealand. In New Zealand. Yeah, yeah. I've been to one grand final. I went to the Warriors v. the Roosters in 2002 over there. It's good stuff. Yeah. Except for the losing.
10:13Mike Minogue:Obviously lost, but still a good... The losing not great, but being there, amazing. Yeah, 100%. It was good because for the briefest of moments, it felt like we had a chance.
10:20Keyzie:Yeah. Old Stacey scything through. Do-do, Stratum. That was good.
10:27Mike Minogue:Should we go to the Lions, fellas?
10:28Keyzie:Yeah, let's do it, man. G'day, Connor, you mad bastard. How's life? Good things, fellas. How are you? Yeah, good things, mate. Tell me, Connor, where's Oxford? It's in North Canary. Ah, okay. North Canary. Yeah, nice.
10:44Mike Minogue:Just confirming for the listeners, Connor is from Oxford.
10:47Keyzie:Yeah, yeah, because I just saw by his name there. What do you do for a crust, Connor?
10:53Mike Minogue:I'm an accountant.
10:54Keyzie:Oh, yeah. Backbone. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I tell you what, true story. Accountants have removed so much stress from my life, Connor There was a time when I was just a debacle on the old accounts, etc, etc And then one day I got an accountant And all my worries seemed to dissipate
11:13Mike Minogue:Oh, must have been a mad bastard for my accountant
11:16Keyzie:Thank you, thank you, Connor Taking me on he was This guy gets it Hey, now listen, Connor, what are you running with there, mate? NRL or Bathurst?
11:25Mike Minogue:Yeah, the Bugbee League would be best Good on you, mate. Bucket league, yeah. We'll chuck you down for rugby league, mate. You're in the draw. You hold the line. Cheers. Good on you, mate.
11:35Keyzie:G'day, Renee. How's life? Oh, not bad, thanks. Oh, that's good. How's your day been? It's been all right? Yeah, it's been good, thank you. What's so good about it? That's very good.
11:44Mike Minogue:What's so good about it? You've got to bang on about it.
11:48Keyzie:Well, work's finished, unlike you guys. Yeah, all right. I tell you what, Renee, it just never bloody ends for us. It's working, working, working. What do you do for a crust, incidentally? I work in health.
12:01Mike Minogue:Oh, yeah. Backbone. Backbone stuff, Renee. It says here you're from Lake Rotuiti. Is that right? Well, Canada originally. No, okay. That's cool. I used to go there a lot as a kid, actually, near Rotorua. They're a beautiful spot. Oh, yeah. Yeah, yeah. Yeah, nice. Renee, are we talking Bathurst or Grand Final? Nah, Grand Final. Grand Final. Righto. We'll chuck you down for the Grand Final. You're in the draw as well, Renee. Thanks, mate. No worries, mate. She's picked up the Kiwi lingo there, hasn't she? You've said to her, would you like Bathurst or the grand final? And she said, nah, the grand final.
12:37Mike Minogue:Yeah. Yeah, you're right. Nah, the grand final. Chuck a nah in front of her. Chuck a nah in front of her. Just because you can. 100%. Don't forget, if you'd like to get yourself in the draw, keep listening to Hauraki. Call 0800-HAURAKI when you hear that cue to call. You can also head to boystrip.co.nz and buy the package to Bathurst, not the grand final because it's sold out for us. Hugely backbone. The Hodaki Big Show with Jase, Mike and Keezy. Tune in weekdays at four on Radio Hodaki.
13:03Keyzie:Yes, indeed, ACDC there on the Radio Hodaki Big Show. This glorious Friday night. But, fellas, let's give out some advice. Meet Paddy Nips. 69. And gmail.com. See what I mean, man? With the fellas. With the fellas. It's just better.
13:25Mike Minogue:Meet pattynips69 at gmail.com It is an email address Use it, get in touch, ask us advice Genuine advice And you can get a$50 re-burger voucher 100 % anonymous G'day fellas Hoping you might be able to help me out here This is from a female advice A female anonymous How do you know that? Anonymous Because of the email, the name on the email
13:47Keyzie:Right, okay So it's not anonymous
13:50Mike Minogue:Anonymous For the listeners it is Anonymous For me, it's not anonymous. Right. G'day there, fellas. My husband and I are avid campers. We love getting amongst nature, but mostly we love sitting around the campfire, sinking beers and having a good yarn. Most of the time, as the night wears on and more beers are sunk, the conversation often turns deep and meaningful, which brings me to my issue. I'd love to sit around the campfire. So would I. Tarnishing beers with my wife. Yeah. She doesn't like it, though, does she? Nah, she doesn't like beers. She likes to make herself scarce when you're on the booze there.
14:20Mike Minogue:Yeah, I don't know what that's about.
14:21Keyzie:Because you just bang on all the time and try and get all deep and meaningful. Yeah, exactly. And then the fire gets out of control and you freak out and she has to douse it in water. But anyway, Keezy, sorry, what are you saying?
14:32Mike Minogue:On our last camping trip, as we were by the fire, my husband confessed to me that he has a celebrity crush. Not a big deal. Is it me? You might think. The issue is he confessed that his celebrity crush is none other than old Keezy. He's going to give it to you. When he told me I laughed it off But since then it has me thinking You see for context We live in Australia So don't listen to the big show live However without fail Every night at bedtime He turns the big show on To fall asleep to When we are in the car He's either playing the show The outro Or if he's listened to them already He will just go back And listen to his favourite one again He's also made reference to Keezy's Meet Paddy Nips One too many times For a girl's liking Yeah So my question is fellas Is this a simple crush Or is my husband head over heels For old Keezy It's a tough one isn't it guys Tough to believe What do you think that I've made up this email I think you've sent this in
15:27Keyzie:I I didn't want to say that Mogi but I'm getting the same vibe
15:31Mike Minogue:I wouldn't go through the effort of writing out A paragraph What concerns me I'd make it a chick having a crush on me too by the way if it was me
15:39Keyzie:If it's true Earth He's got plenty of content now Because of AI of Kesey on all fours looking over his shoulder. And he can generate his own too. That's right. That's not comfortable.
15:56Mike Minogue:I don't know about that.
15:57Keyzie:He's got plenty of stuff to stimulate his passion. What, would you be open to that, Kesey? To him? Well, it sounds to me like this is a hall pass situation, right? Yeah, for sure. It's a celebrity crush, but generally that means I'm not comfortable calling you a celebrity either, but for the sake of argument, Would you be willing to partake in a Dalian's with Anonymous' partner?
16:26Mike Minogue:Anonymous-ter? Yeah, thank you. And you put it in the context of, you know, his dream come true.
16:33Keyzie:Yeah.
16:35Mike Minogue:Like, he is... Sure, I'll put him away. Well, I'm not sure that's what he's into. Oh, is it not? Because that's what I'm into. Well, he might want to put you away. Oh, I've never been put away. I don't even know where away is. Like, you know what I mean? I'm usually the one. Yeah, I know. You know what I mean? Yeah. But you're sort of banging around on the couch. You don't know how to put things away properly. Yeah, you're right. You're always getting told that at home. Yeah, I put it away properly. You put it away properly. Not there.
17:07Mike Minogue:Hope that helps. The Hauraki Big Show with Jase, Mike and Keezy. Tune in weekdays at 4 on Radio Hodaki.
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