COLD CUTS: Staff Meeting Boosies

0:00Mike Minogue:The Hauraki Big Show with Jace, Mike and Keyzie. Tune in weekdays at 4 on Radio Hauraki.

0:06Keyzie:Pearl Jam there on the Radio Hauraki Big Show. This Monday afternoon, the time is 5.25, we're talking my addiction. Fellas, I don't want to lay blame here. Oh yeah. Good. Good, that's a relief man. But I must say, there was one incident that triggered me badly. and it was old Pug San. And he brought in, was this on Friday, Moggy? It was, yeah. He brought in Keezy, a very cute little dinky pack of Vietnamese ciggies.

0:41Mike Minogue:That's interesting because he also did that at the live show when we were underneath it. Yes. He's trying to enable you.

0:46Keyzie:And he just left them on the desk and he said, check these out, Jase. He did. And I was like, whoa. Wow. and it was such a dinky cute little pack and I was like, you know, surely one of those little bastards won't count.

1:04Mike Minogue:No, it does count. Anything counts. I can't believe that happened, Pugs. You know, do you have anything to say for yourself? Yeah. Absolutely none of Jase's business, what I brought into the office. Except for you shoved him into his face and I respect you for it, Pugs. It was a great move from you. for those just tuning in Jase is hating his wife because he can't smoke cigarettes or vape or drink so he's trying to find something else to get addicted to yeah currently getting addicted to being a bit of an arsehole an absolute son of a bee an absolute piece of ass which I don't recommend I don't think it looks nice on you Jase look at him over there yeah whoever it is

1:46Keyzie:feels good to me

1:48Mike Minogue:a lot of people are texting in Jase with support and suggestions which is good get addicted to golf and wear it like a personality? Yeah, well, I would play golf. Why aren't you? Because old Keezy's too busy to play with me. Yeah, that's right.

2:05Keyzie:Not too busy for a long weekend with the fellas, though, was he? No, he wasn't.

2:09Mike Minogue:He was great, too. Yeah, yeah. Played three games. What about this one? Maybe start a collection, Hoody J, like a collection of salt and pepper shakers.

2:16Keyzie:My Aunt Maisie did that. My great-aunt Maisie. And I kid you not, she had a house. with cabinets everywhere full of salt and pepper shakers. It's in your blood, man. Get into it. No, man. My wife has duck plates, so, you know. Duck plates. I'm not having salt and pepper shakers and duck plates all over the apartment.

2:37Mike Minogue:Take up a musical instrument. No. Tried that. Tried that. Yeah. Didn't get addicted to that, did you? No. Not at all. Complete opposite. Take up building Lego. Very good for your mind in your later years. There you go. Yeah, that's true.

2:53Keyzie:No, someone actually made the suggestion, and I've heard it before, that I cart around a bag of wedges of lemon. That's right, really sour. And then as soon as you get an urge, you chuck it in your mouth and it rewires the brain immediately. But I'm not carrying a bag of bloody lemon wedges around with me.

3:13Mike Minogue:Not a giant bag, just a small snap lock bag. I've never heard of that before. That guy called up our show a couple of years ago when Jace decided to quit the first time. Right, the first time, two years ago. Oh, it was about five years ago.

3:24Keyzie:And my wife suggested the same thing. It's something to do with a sharp change of taste will do something in your brain. Sounds like people are treating you like an idiot, man. Yeah, that's what it sounded like to me. Trying to get you to walk around with a pocket full of lemons. Yeah.

3:37Mike Minogue:Yeah, Jase is way too smart for that. It's not going to work. If this helps, I've Googled the most addictive things on the planet. Oh, nice. Heroin. Never tried it. You can take that up. Food.

3:52Keyzie:You can just blow out massively. I have in the past when I've given out blown out. Yeah, right. I eat a lot more, that's true. Yeah. Pokies. Oh, now we're talking. I did think about it. I did think about the pokies. Queen of the Nile. Well, because, you know, I go past the casino every night. Yes. And I've got my dog squad money. Yeah, not those ones. Like real sad ones, you know, like. Oh, yeah, dive. Yeah, like terrible ones. Yeah, but then it'll be in a bar. There'll be beersies everywhere. Scrolling social media. Nah, I kind of do that anyway. It just annoys me, gets me angry.

4:28Mike Minogue:Yeah. Pornography, caffeine. Crack. Oh, hard to get though. Is it? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Trust me, we've tried. Yeah, okay. Yeah, we'll try anything to get you out of this.

4:41Keyzie:Oh, well, look, I'll just have to be a backbone and carry on. I'm not that much of a pain to be around, to be honest. My wife, she's moved up north for a little while with her mum, but the little one's hanging out with her boyfriend.

5:00Keyzie:I don't even like what I'm having for dinner tonight. You know what I mean? Oh, it's just some stuffed pasta or something. I hate that shit. Do you like ads? No.

5:09Mike Minogue:The Hauraki Big Show, weekdays from four on Radio Hauraki.

5:13Keyzie:Everclear there on the radio. Hauraki Big Show this Wednesday evening. The time is 6.37. Let's give out some advice, fellas. Me, PattyNips69 at gmail.com.

5:29Mike Minogue:Get in touch with the fellas. That's right, me, PattyNips69 at gmail.com. It is a real email address. If you ever need advice on anything, get in touch. and if it gets read out on the show, you get a prize. Good stuff, man. How good is that, man? And it's 100 % anonymous as well. That's great. This one comes from anonymous. G'day. The Fowlers! It's too late for that, man. There's that little spot at the start that's too late. This is the issue. I know he's going to do it at some point. Yeah, yeah. And I prefer he got it out of the way really early, but he held on to that one. It's building up.

6:05Actually, the boss was telling us we need to get rid of a few segments. Maybe this is one that's got to go. It's falling apart at the seams, man.

6:12Mike Minogue:Yeah, but he always says that. I mean, this is a great segment. This is my favourite segment. It's a community service. It is. You know, just because Jase yells randomly doesn't mean we should axe the whole thing. I've just got to time it with my headphones. What do you mean? When Jase screams that, I've got to time it. Oh, you turn it down. Yeah, yeah, yeah. G'day, fellas. Anonymous here. My lovely partner and I have recently got engaged and are currently in the midst of wedding planning. We're finding it quite punishing and bloody expensive. Yeah. Do you have any tips to make sure it all goes smoothly or anything else we should splash out on and or anything we can skip?

6:49Mike Minogue:We definitely don't want the day to only be a 6 out of 10 in brackets will avoid Kesey's wife making the cake. Cheers, Anonymous. Why would she make you a wedding cake? It doesn't even make sense. It doesn't make any sense.

7:00Keyzie:Well, the first thing you need to do is find a mate that's got really nice digs. You know, or it might be a relative or something like that. Yes. someone that's really wealthy or whatever, and say, can we hold our wedding at your place? Which is what we did with our friends. Right.

7:19Mike Minogue:All I'll say is, you might think that having a wedding at someone's house or property or whatever is cheaper. It's actually not anymore. It's more expensive. We found that out. You know, by the time you hire the marquee and get the generators in and blah, blah, blah, it's super expensive. The only way we found to cut costs was to not invite workmates. Yeah, I was going to say. That's the way to do it. Yeah. Because let's be honest, would you be mates with them if you weren't working together? No.

7:49Keyzie:There's some truth in that. I'll tell you what we did do, and this is just a serious note for a moment, which was really good. In lieu of giving us a present, we said make a contribution to the bar. Oh, to the bar? To the bar. Buy your own drinks. Well, so people, instead of buying us a present, they donated money to an account, which was the bar account. Right. And we bought our piss with that money.

8:14Mike Minogue:That's nice. That's a good way to do it.

8:16Keyzie:And saved us a crapload.

8:18Mike Minogue:Because the other way to do it is you go, oh, put some money towards the honeymoon. Yes. Did you have a honeymoon?

8:24Keyzie:No. Yeah. Because of a bombing. That's right. You were supposed to go to Bali. Did you have a terrible gig? Oh, that as well. Yeah, yeah. Can you just give me the first little line there, Keezer? says. There's something about avoiding something there.

8:40Mike Minogue:Anything we should splash out on and or anything we can skip. Skip the wedding. Skip the wedding. Yeah. Completely. Yeah.

8:48Keyzie:You could just go down to the registry office and do it that way. It just doesn't cost you anything.

8:55Mike Minogue:No, it's not about you though. It's about your friends and family and having them all together. Oh, that's right. They can pay for it then. Well, no, that's not what I'm saying. They can chip in like you did, Jase. That makes sense. Yes. And there's no way that you can have a wedding without there being a few dramas along the way. Yeah. You know, you've got to embrace that part of it. That's the best part of it. Can I, genuine, genuine suggestion here, flag the wedding cake. Oh, yeah. You don't need a wedding cake. Everyone's steamed by the time the cake comes out. It's like, oh, do you want to stop drinking and partying and have some cake?

9:25Mike Minogue:No. We didn't have a cake. What we had, and this was a good one, we had a selection of cheeses and crackers and that, you know, because people are still drinking and that, and they'll rip into the cheeses and that. About as much as they would the cake Kesey, as it turned out. But it was like, cheese, we've got all this wonderful cheese. The venue refused to give us the cheese. They said it was a health risk. A health risk. And they kept it all. They kept it all, yeah. Bullshit. That happened to us at a similar thing. You know what we had? We didn't have a cake. Sorry. We did trumpets. Hand out trumpets.

10:01Mike Minogue:We didn't have a cake. The ice creams.

10:03Keyzie:We didn't have any cake. It was either, fellas. You know what we had? We had like, I don't even know how you'd describe it. I was going to say like a muffin tower, but they were little sort of balls. A tower of muffins. But, you know, and it was just this big pyramid sort of quite beautifully made, and you just pull a ball off and chow down on that. Jeez, that sounds like it's in poor taste.

10:31Mike Minogue:The Hauraki Big Show with Jase, Mike and Keezy. Tune in weekdays at 4 on Radio Hodaki.

10:37Keyzie:Guns. Roses here on the Radio Hodaki big show this Thursday evening. The time, 6.25. Fellas, I've got a bone to pick. I got a bone to pick. Now, today was a very important day at Radio Hodaki. It was a huge day. For the entire company. New Zealand me. NZ me, yeah, that's the name of the company. NZ me. and it's when we get to have a powwow with the big wigs and talk about the big plans. Do you know what I mean? And so everybody got together. We got to go upstairs, which we never get to do. No, don't do it. We're not allowed up there. We didn't know where we were. It was an absolute, can I say it was an absolute shambles trying to get up there.