COLD CUTS: West Auckland Italian

0:00Mike Minogue:The Hodaki Big Show with Jace, Mike and Keyzie. Tune in weekdays at four on Radio Hodaki.

0:06Keyzie:New order there on the Radio Hodaki Big Show this Monday evening. Fellas, let's give out some advice, shall we?

0:18MePettyNib69 at gmail.com. Get in touch with the fellas.

0:25Mike Minogue:MePettyNib69 at gmail.com. Real email address, get in touch. If we read it on the show, boom,$50 re-burger voucher. Dudes. Backbone. Genuine advice questions too. And fellas, this is one I'm sure both of you can offer a bit of wisdom to, although it has specifically requested maybe less from Jase on this one. You'll see why. Okay. G'day, fellas. Anonymous here. I'm after some dart advice. The last few years I've been punching the odd social dart or cigarette, but recently I'm right on the tipping point of becoming a full-time addict. I'm after a piece of advice that I can think back to when I'm about to buy a pack in one of my many, many moments of weakness.

1:03Mike Minogue:I kind of don't want to hear even a peep out of old hoity jizz. I don't trust his dart advice as far as I can throw him, which is probably pretty far, to be honest. Cheers, fellas. Anonymous.

1:14Keyzie:Can I just say, fellas, on that front, I have first-hand experience of this phenomenon with a very great mate of mine who I might say, I don't want to give any names out here, who we may or may not have interviewed recently.

1:30Mike Minogue:Oh, wow, really?

1:31Keyzie:And who was very anti-smoking all the time. Got a couple of mates like that. And then over time, he'd have the occasional dart. Yeah. You know what I mean? He'd be like a social smoker. And then it grew to a few more darts. And now he smokes darts wherever he can go. I don't think he buys them. He does. Oh, he does. Yeah, he's on the rollies. And now he punches the darts all the time. Wow, okay. It's a shocking bastard. Yes. It is quite interesting, actually, because I did a show over nine years ago. I did the show, and I was having a look at an old contract for it. A show? A TV show. Oh, yeah.

2:16And as part of that, you had to do a medical. I had to do a medical, right? And so one of the things that asked me was, any opportunity they've got to ask you if you smoke, they've taken it. Are you a smoker? And in this thing which I filled out in November sometime of 2017, I said, no, I'm not a smoker. I gave up in January of this year. So I don't even remember doing that, but apparently I'd given up for almost a year. Right. The amount of times that I've given up, I've got a photo on my Instagram, me smoking my last cigarette ever. That's about seven years ago. It's unbelievable. Yeah. So it's...

2:50Mike Minogue:Even for regular listeners of the show, listening to you guys talk about it. Oh, I've given up a billion times. Yeah, exactly. And then I go for weeks and weeks, and I don't have any, but then I had a beer over the weekend, so I was ripping into them again then. Yeah.

3:04Yeah, I mean, I don't know what to tell you, man. I mean, there's nothing you don't know already. And who the hell am I to tell you? Exactly. I would say, you know, try heroin or something that's easier to give up. Yeah. Move on to the H. Although I bet cigarettes are great on the H. Yeah, that'd be... Do you know what I mean? Yeah, they're great with everything. That's the problem. Guys, guys, guys, guys. So maybe the answer, Jase, is that you and I need to start the heroin. Yeah, maybe.

3:30Mike Minogue:We're not encouraging people to take up smoking here. That's not what we're here to do. I'm not... We're not saying that at all, Keeson. I'm encouraging them to take up heroin. Oh, okay, that's all G. That's all G. It's tough, though. Just quickly, is there a way you can just smoke when you're on the lash or whatever, and that's it? No, I don't think so. I think it always leches. I mean, I go pretty good at it now, but it comes and goes. But also I only smoke when I'm drinking pretty much now, which is good. But I'd rather not smoke at all. Yes. Because I know that it's going to come back to bite me at some point.

4:02My mother smoked a packet a day for close to 40 years. Yeah. And then my cousin gave her the Alan Carr book, How to Give Up Smoking Easily or whatever it's called. About an hour ago, I was on my Instagram, and I saw Mel Gibson talking about the fact that he smoked more than a pack a day for over 40 years, and then his son gave him the same book. Yes. And he gave up off the back of that. Yeah, yeah. So I'm going to give that a go, actually. But you guys have tried that before, and you said... No, I haven't. I never got through it because the book gets so bad. And so I think they must say I'd rather give up smoking than finish this book.

4:35Mike Minogue:Yeah, right.

4:35Keyzie:The first 40 or 50 pages that I've read thus far are literally like, this book has been a huge success. Yes. And you're going, okay. Get on with it. Can you tell me how you do it? And, you know, people think giving up smoking is really hard. It's not. That's right. Okay, can you tell me how it's not? It drives me up the goddamn wall. I've started that book so many times with that, and at some point it's going to get to a point. Yes, it is.

5:00Mike Minogue:Maybe everyone just says they've just given up, said they've read the book. I'll just give up, say I've read it. Just so you don't want to stop banging on about it. Yeah. So there you go. Yeah, I don't know, man. Try heroin? Look, I've got no advice, man. I'm at a loss. Yeah. Same. Absolutely, I'm owned by cigarettes. I am owned. Well, what about this? If you hear any good advice, listeners, send it to us so that, Mo, you can have it. The Hauraki Big Show, weekdays from four on Radio Hauraki.

5:31Keyzie:You need Nirvana there on the Radio Hauraki Big Show this Tuesday evening. Fellas, it's time for...

5:39Mike Minogue:Oh, yeah, hey, guys. Text here from Steve. What's for tea, New Zealand? With me, Casey. A lot of great texts coming through, fellas. People having yummy dinns. I love yummy dinns. Yeah, same. And stoked to talk about it as well, which is great. 3483, keep the texts coming. G'day there, fellas. Emma here. Thompson. Nice. Emma Stone? Emma Thompson. Oh, what? I love Emma Thompson. She's great. She's in Wellington and having chicken and leek pie with Oreo cookie sandwich for dessert. A lot of chicken and leek pie going on at the moment.

6:17Keyzie:I was going to say, that's about the fourth one we've had. It's the season for it. I'm over it, man. Yeah, no more chicken and leek pies. For everyone? We're having it every week, man. I'm sick of it. We need to mix up our menu a bit. Yeah.

6:29Mike Minogue:What about the Oreo cookie sandwich dessert? That sounds yummy. It's what's for tea, not what's for dessert. Yeah, that's a good point. I'm so sorry. G'day there, fellas. Finn here. Alan. Finley quail. Finley quail. It's Finn Alan. G'day there. This is bullshit. G'day, guys. Finn Alan here from Auckland cooking some scotch over the coals. Scotch steak, obviously. Yes. With a broccoli and pine nut salad and smashed crispy potatoes. Sounds yummy.

7:03Keyzie:All sounds good. Yeah, I have no problem as long as they're cooked in duck fat.

7:08Mike Minogue:It's the only fat you use? Yeah, man. How many ducks do you go through in a week?

7:13Keyzie:Eight to ten. Far out. Takes a lot to squeeze it out of them.

7:17Mike Minogue:G'day there, Fielers. Will here. Jordan. Will I am. It's Will Jordan. Yeah, Will I am. It's Will I am. G'day, guys. Will I am from Wellington here. I'm having a roast chook with duck fat potatoes and a vape. Nice. Oh, yeah. That's a perfect combo. Nothing wrong with that. You know, I would prefer a little bit of gravy there. I want some greens there, man.

7:42Keyzie:Yeah, maybe some steamed broccoli or some beans.

7:45Mike Minogue:I like the use of two birds, though.

7:48Keyzie:Yeah, two birds.

7:49Mike Minogue:Roast two birds, one meal. G'day there, guys. Craig here. Fitzgibbon. Bellamy. David. It's Craig David. G'day, guys. Craig David here. I'm having spaghetti and meatballs.

8:08Keyzie:Yeah, okay, that's tedious.

8:10Mike Minogue:Pretty boring.

8:11Keyzie:That's all right, though. I like a meatball. Yeah, as long as it's a good meatball. No, listen. No, as long as it's a bad meatball. It's great, David. Was he the one famous for his abs? No, that was Peter Ondranus. Oh, that's right, Peter Ondranus. Remember him? I do. And he had really spindly sort of hoity jay legs. Oh, did he? Yeah, but he had, like, the most amazing abs. Yeah, he had the six-pack. In the six pack. Mysterious girl. G'day, fellas.

8:36Mike Minogue:Peter here. Plumley Walker. Ehrlich. Andre. Peter Andre, I kind of set that up for you there. Hey, guys. Peter Andre here, having homebrew bourbon and a seafood chowder. That is a recipe for a crook guts right there. Yeah, well, that doesn't sound. That sounds like one or the other. Oil and water. Well, that's Peter Andre, the guy with the abs, so I guess he knows what he's doing.

9:00Keyzie:Yeah, true.

9:02Mike Minogue:G'day there, fellas. It's Jacob here. Jacob the musk. Duffy. It's Jacob the musk Duffy. Having a thick meatloaf. Yeah, nice. Really thick meat. Really? Bit of mash. Doesn't say. Just a thick meatloaf.

9:18Keyzie:And some steamed brock.

9:20Mike Minogue:Steamed brock. Yes, you see the steamed brock here cooked in duck fat. Any gravy? Nah. On a meatloaf. Yes. Oh, g'day, mate. Oh, hi, Moe. Yeah. Look, if you want the chance to win all our on-air competitions and stuff and get amongst the live conversation, tune in to the Hauraki Big Show, four to seven weekdays on Radio Hauraki and iHeartRadio. The Hauraki Big Show with Jase, Mike and Keezy. Tune in weekdays at four on Radio Hauraki.

9:55Keyzie:You two there on the Big Show Breakfast. It's Thursday morning for those of you that are unaware.

10:01Mike Minogue:Good stuff, Jase. For those that also aren't aware, I have bought a racing pigeon. Cheesy on all wings, looking over his beak with me. Cheesy. How much was it? $400. I gave$400 to a man in Timaru. Pigeon Tim. He then gave me a pigeon. It's raised in Oamadou, the Oamadou Bird Club, every single weekend. And this weekend is the final race, fellas. That's the eighth race. Yeah. Oh, is it? Yep. So they drive them to all different places. The longest one, I believe, was 420 kilometres back to Oamaru, but they're releasing them in your Ashburton's, your Christchurch's, your Blenheim's, that sort of stuff.

10:43Mike Minogue:This weekend is the final race. It's just a shorty. It's 250k. Oh, no.

10:48Keyzie:Yeah. Doesn't do well, your bird on the short race or the long ones. No, to be fair. Anything with the flying.