FULL SHOW: A King-Sized Throbber

10:29Princess Diana. You remember her?

10:31Mike Minogue:Yeah. I mean. And he didn't even like her.

10:34Keyzie:I tell you what. What a legend. I bang on about Mogi all the time and what a stallion he is. But the young Prince Charles, Kesey. And the old Prince Charles. And the King Charles. And there's something very, very sexy about him now that he's king. I mean, he was always sexy. Have you seen his fingers? Yeah.

10:54Mike Minogue:The giant. They're massive bastards. They're massive, yeah. Big, thick bastards they are. Imagine them running down the small of your back there, Keezy, as he pulls you in tight. I'm all G, man. But, I mean, you guys aren't actually celebrating, right? We're just having a weekend. I'm going to have a – we've got a big barbecue. We get out the king sausages, we call them. Yes. Big fat bastards they are. Big juicy fat bastards. And you eat them? Oh, yeah. You eat his hands? Well, you know, it's just sort of a tribute. A little joke, you know, because he's got that sort of physical deformity or whatever it is.

11:28Keyzie:I don't know if I should tell you this, fellas, but my wife and I, when Charles became king, went out and bought a crockery set. Oh, yeah. You know, a royal King Charles crockery set. Yeah, King Charles crockery. And so we'll be... Also known as Royal Dalton. Royal Dalton, yes. We'll be laying that out. You guys are welcome to pop over, matey. She's all going my household on the day. Right, so you get the crockery set out. Yeah, we have a big sort of, you know, festive celebration of King Charlie. I'm keen. Yes. And, of course, to celebrate his wife, Queen Camilla. Yes. We finish off the sort of, I guess you'd call it a luncheon by sucking each other's toes.

12:13Let me suck it, man.

12:14Mike Minogue:The Hauraki Big Show with Jace, Mike and Kesey. Tune in weekdays at four on Radio Hauraki.

12:20Keyzie:Red. Hot. What? Chilli Peppers here on the radio. Hauraki, big show this Friday afternoon. Speaking of which, fellas, I had a Hell's Ramen last night. Oh, yes. It's called, no, it's called, what is it called? Death Ramen. Death Ramen. And I'm still paying the price today. Whatever happened to Chilli Hoyt? I love my chilies, fellas. Yeah, you're old. I just can't take it anymore. I've been punching the quickies. Yeah. It's just a nightmare. But you were punching the quickies before you had the ramen. Yeah, that's true. Yeah. I think you're getting on, man. Yeah, I think I am, Mogi.

12:54Mike Minogue:Just on that topic of Horty J having a heart attack, I was reading an article today on The Herald.

12:59Keyzie:Well, I don't know that it was having a heart attack. It was just more indigestion. It doesn't sound good. I'll put it to you that way, man. It does not sound good.

13:06Mike Minogue:Oh, it's bad news. But I was reading an article today on The Herald, six foods that raise your heart attack risk and what to eat instead. Okay. I thought it would be quite interesting because a lot of these foods are part of a pretty standard Kiwi diet. Can I guess the first one? What's that, Jase? Durries. Do you eat durries, do you? Yes. He chews through them. Wow. No, durries aren't on there, although, yes, they probably would increase your heart attack risk, I would imagine. Right, okay. Wow.

13:33Keyzie:It's not in the top six, and that's all G then.

13:36Mike Minogue:It's not a food, though. For some.

13:39Keyzie:Have you never heard of chewing tobacco?

13:42Mike Minogue:Yes, I've heard. Do you swallow it? Yes. Keasy. That's bad.

13:46Keyzie:Come on, man. Cool. What?

13:49Mike Minogue:What's wrong with swallowing tobacco? Obviously, you're not supposed to swallow it. You're supposed to spit it out. Is it called a spittoon that you spit it out into, fellas? I don't know, man. I don't know, man. I don't know. I swallow. Right, okay. To be fair, that's probably the cleaner way to do it. Yeah. Less mess. Have you seen someone that's got tobacco all in their teeth? That's disgusting. It's not good. Nah, not good. So the first thing you should swap If you want to avoid a heart attack No one in particular Chase Chase Chase over here Supermarket sauces So you buy like a jar of sauce to make a curry You just buy a jar of it Ready to go Really?

14:34Mike Minogue:Get rid of that Make your own one with coconut milk And tin tomatoes Oh I'm not making my own What? Forget that It doesn't take that long Tin tomatoes, coconut milk And a bit of like curry paste of some flavour Boom

14:47Keyzie:I don't use supermarkets. I tend to go to your boutique stores. You can also say, you can't say boom. You can't say a little bit of tomato paste, a little bit of coconut milk, a little bit of spices, boom. Yeah. You can only say that with a jar. You open the jar, boom. Right. The other things are like, ugh.

15:03Mike Minogue:It depends if you're on a heart attack or not. Yeah, well, saving a bit of time. Swap ham for chicken breast. So stop having your ham there, man, your processed meats. Oh, 100 % the processed meats. They're no good, Keezy. There's your bacons, your sausages, all of that's got to go. Mind you, luncheon's okay, eh? Yeah. Yeah, no, luncheon. Luncheon's not processed.

15:23Keyzie:Yeah, yeah. It comes from the luncheon tree.

15:25Mike Minogue:They cut it off the luncheon tree. It's a vegetable. Or is it a fruit? I always forget.

15:29Keyzie:Yeah, I know. It's confusing, eh? Well, it does have, it's a vegetable because it's got the veggies in it, the little peas and stuff. Yeah, true. I think you've been eating dog rolls.

15:43Mike Minogue:Yum. The S-O-G in it? Yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah. It belongs to the same family. Yeah, totally. Sorry, so Jason's been eating dog roll and swallowing tobacco.

15:57Mike Minogue:And we're going to come back and talk more about that. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I'll tell you the other three another time. The Hauraki Big Show. Weekdays from four on Radio Hauraki.

16:07Keyzie:ACDC there on the Radio Hauraki Big Show this Friday afternoon. Soon, the time is 4.51.

16:14Mike Minogue:Fellas, we've teamed up with Hire a Hubby and we've got another$100 voucher to give away. If you are keen, if you've got some reno jobs that need doing, text the word hubby to 3483 and include some information on the job that you need done. Also later in the show, we're going to be calling one of the winners from this week, including today's winner, giving them a$500 Hire a Hubby voucher. How good, man. So that's hubby to 3483. Include some information on the job you need done.

16:39Keyzie:I tell you what, fellas, What is the time? It's 4.52. Let's talk TV. What's on the telly with Mike Minogue?

16:53Yeah. That's right. Fellas, yesterday I ended up talking about a movie that I watched, but I forgot that I watched a play the night before called Play Fight, which is only on in Auckland, I'm sorry. Went and saw that. We gave it a bit of a plug yesterday. The whole run sold out. Yeah, man. After I went and saw the play, I told you, You ought to go. You've got to take the missus. You've got to take your daughter. You buggered around. It's sold out. You can't go. That's true, man. That's what you get.

17:16Keyzie:We found that out this morning, much to my chagrin. But isn't it great that the theatre's selling out? Yes, it is. That's the second one we've been involved with. Yes. Not bad. And last night I watched the first episode of a new show called Bust Up, which is a Kiwi show which is available on Neon and probably Sky Go or Open or one of those sort of thingies over there. And it's got Morgana O 'Reilly in it. Oh, she's prolific, isn't she? She is. She is. Very, very good. And Ruimata Fox, I think, might be the other lead in it. But it's got a real who's who. It's set in a small town, I think, up north.

17:54They're police officers. They're battling local thugs. While also dealing with an old relationship that the two of them had. Oh, yeah. Watch one episode. I always give the pilot episode a bit of a pass because you have to jam so much stuff into it. But I'd enjoyed it. I enjoyed it, and I think there'll be plenty in it, so I'll let you know how we go.

18:12Mike Minogue:Good stuff. Would you say that the first episode, right, as you say, you give it a pass because they've got to cram all the information and set the world up for the viewers. If you can hook someone with the first episode, that's a sign of a very good TV show. Often the best is when they're not trying to set the world up at all, when you just give the audience credit and you just start the episode and you allow people to work it out without having to explain things to them like they're idiots. Yeah, like the first episode of Breaking Bad is one I always think of, where it starts with the RV crashing.

18:42Mike Minogue:They're in the RV crashing, yeah. And it's just like, oh, what's going on here? Exactly. The other great one is The Sopranos, which is the all-time great. But yeah, three buzies so far, and a bit of New Zealand content. Get it in you.

18:54Keyzie:If it doesn't get me in the first five minutes, I'm done. You hear me? What are you talking about? A television program. It's got to get me in five minutes or I'm done. Right. Anyway, last night I was trying to find my Prime Video subscription. You were trying to find your subscription? Well, I'm still paying for Prime Video. You will just open the app and log in. Yeah, but I can't because it's not letting me do that. And it's saying, we'll give you a seven-day free trial. I don't want that. I want my subscription. I love it. The part that I'm loving about this is that Kasey will be hating it.

19:33Mike Minogue:Yeah, because it's just so obvious what's happening. Just log in.

19:36Keyzie:Well, no, I can't log in because I tried to change my password because it was saying this, and then I changed my password. Then I logged in, and then it went straight back to, here's your free seven-day trial. I was like, oh. How long did you spend doing that, Chase? Oh, 45 minutes.

19:53Mike Minogue:Yeah. Whatever, but it was like a minute, and then gave up.

19:55Keyzie:Well, actually, my wife took over because I was effing and jeffing. And did she do it? That was my next question. No, she didn't. She was like, I don't know what it's doing here. Get your daughter to do it. Yeah, good plan. So what I ended up watching at the end of the night, I finished off the brilliant series Flowers. Now, TVNZ +, what I will say about this, which I haven't banged on enough about, is yes, it's a brilliantly written show, but every one of the main actors in that show is brilliant. All of their performances, is there's not one weak link. They're all brilliant. And the guy that wrote it and directed it is probably the most outstanding of them all.

20:37Keyzie:And at the end of it, it's a real oof. It's a real stomach punch. It's like, oh, man. I love that in a comedy. Man. Beautiful. Great. I'm upgrading it from a 4.9 busies to a full five. All right. Five busies out of five.

20:54Mike Minogue:I'm watching it. Flowers on TVNZ+. us. There you go. After five o 'clock, fellas, the Friday Throbber, and of course, it's King's birthday, so the theme is The King. Oh, Jase, have you forgotten? No, no. Oh, we'll talk about this. We'll talk about this after five. The Hauraki Big Show with Jase, Mike, and Keezy. Tune in weekdays at four on Radio Hauraki.

21:22Keyzie:It's the Hauraki Big Show's Friday Throbber. Douche, douche. Yay. The Friday throbber. What's that, I hear you ask? Well, the fellas on a Friday afternoon, we each choose a tune to kick off your Friday celebrations. Get you in the mood, eh, fellas?

21:43Mike Minogue:Yes, especially important today because it's a long weekend. Yeah, boy. The long weekend, of course, being King's birthday. So today's theme is King's birthday. Yeah. So, Jase, when I said just before 5 o 'clock that the King's Birthday themed Throbber was coming up, you made a weird face. Did I? Like a face like you didn't realise it was themed again. Don't know what you're talking about, Keezy. Well, that's interesting that you say that, Jase, because we were out and about doing a few sponsors' obligations earlier on today, and as we drove back from the sponsors' obligation into the studio some two, three hours ago, you said, oh, God, I didn't realise that it had a theme.

22:22And then at that point could have changed the song. Yeah, that was ages ago. And as far as I can tell, it's done nothing. Have you changed it? Sure have, man. Well, do you want to go first then?

22:32Keyzie:What's your song, man? It's called The Worm by Audioslave. Right.

22:47A great tune. Great song.

22:49Keyzie:Great song. Oh, no doubt about it. Little known fact, it was written about Prince Charles. You've had three hours to change it. You've had a shocker. Just for those at home, Jace is lying with his head on the desk because he knows he's shat the beat. But the thing is, it would have taken two minutes to find another song. So, yeah. God, I'm getting good about that one.

23:12Mike Minogue:Right, so you're disqualified. Well, no, you're still playing. No, it's up for an asterisk. Up for an asterisk, though. Which is the same as being disqualified. Okay. I honestly can't. I think Metallica, King nothing, I think. Metallica. I've got your finger, but there's no one around.

23:28Keyzie:Just want one thing. Just to play the king. But the castles crumble and you're left with just a day. Where's your crown king? Nothing. Dish, dish, dish, dish, dish. There's a tune. Fellas. Here he is. Some old early 2000s shit.

23:48Mike Minogue:Fellas, I've got a bone to pick, all right? I got a bone to pick.

23:55Keyzie:I don't want you monkey mouth Cause sitting in my thorn again I'm mad But I ain't stressing True friends One question

24:10Mike Minogue:That is King Kunti by Kendrick Lamar King Kunti by Kendrick Lamar And it's the song where we get I've got a bone to pick from Yes, yes Fun fact And it has the word king in the title It does, yeah, yeah. What was yours again, Jase?

24:26Keyzie:The Worm, isn't it? By Audioslave, written for Prince Charles. Oh, yeah. So you decide, New Zealand. Give us a call on 0800 Hauraki in the meantime. It's Block Party.

24:39Mike Minogue:The Hauraki Big Show with Jase, Mike and Keezy. Tune in weekdays at 4 on Radio Hauraki.

24:49Keyzie:It's the Hauraki Big Show's Friday throbber. Douche, douche. Yes, indeed, the Friday thrupper. We each pick a tune. You, the audience, decide the winner. Yeah, that's right. And today we've gone with the theme, King's Birthday. King's Birthday. Now, we're going to go through the song. Now, why don't we do this up first, actually? So the theme is King's Birthday. Keezy and myself have managed to come up with it. Jase realised about three hours ago that he hadn't chosen a song that was on theme. Instead of replacing it, he did nothing. and we sort of thought, oh, well, we'll leave it in there and go with, you know, maybe it earns an asterisk, but we've got in the studio with us now Pugsan.

25:32Keyzie:Fellas, can I just say, though, hey, Pugs, man. I probably explained it to you. Hey, Pugs. Hi, fellas. Hey, Pugs, how are you, man?

25:39Mike Minogue:Yeah, nice to see you. Hey, Pugs. Thanks for having me, by the way. Hi, Chris. What do you think of this whole thing, man? I just, if you guys wouldn't mind, I just wanted a moment. Jase. Jase. I just want to check. Oh, yeah, sorry, Pugs.

25:51Keyzie:Yes. Is everything all right at home, man? Yes, good. As I was explaining to the fellas.

25:55Mike Minogue:If I can just finish. You all good, man? Yeah. Just because, you know. Yeah, I'm good, thanks. There are a lot of people out there, and I'm sure you'd agree with me on 3483 or 0800 Hauraki, that the Throbbers are a pretty sacred part of the show, thanks. You know, and you've been doing it for a long time now, and I just want to make sure that you just keep it on top of it, man, because it's pretty important for the show.

26:15Keyzie:And that's why I really knuckled down with this one, because what people don't know is that Audioslave are massive anti-royalists and they always refer to Prince Charles as the worm. What are you guys up to this long weekend?

26:32Mike Minogue:I've just Googled here that the worm is generally understood as being about Cornell's own experiences and emotional struggles while growing up. Yeah, generally understood. Yeah, I mean, there's that side of it. And also the fact that Jase was in a car with me and said, oh, I didn't realise I haven't chosen a song that's on topic. And then didn't change it. And then didn't change it. So I think what you're saying, Pugsun, is right, and you said it off air, and that is that, you know, last time we gave you an asterisk, on this occasion, if Jase was to win it and get another asterisk, what's actually happening is you can just go ahead and choose any song you want.

27:04You don't have to worry about when a theme gets named. That sounds like a really good idea. Hang on a moment. And you're depriving other people who have taken the theme seriously the opportunity to win without an asterisk. 100 % agree. I didn't say it better myself.

27:17Keyzie:True story, I actually Don't care about the proper off I just missed that particular post that the theme was on I didn't see that And that's fair enough And how come you didn't change it? Because I think that's a great tune and I couldn't be bothered I swear you were going to say couldn't be asked I swear that was just about to fall out of your mouth there

27:35Mike Minogue:I couldn't be asked Alright, well, is Hoity J disqualified? Yes, I'm out You are disqualified, alright So it is now between myself and Moggy Moggy, this is the song you chose

28:01Mike Minogue:That is a tune, Metallica there, King Nothing. Very on topic. I chose King Quinte by Kendrick Lamar.

28:18Mike Minogue:Of course, it is up to the audience on 0800 Houdaki. Jase, if you want, man, you can go to the line. Sure, man, let's do it.

28:25Keyzie:G'day, Hayden, you mad bastard. How's life? Oh, great, fellas. Good on you, mate. What are you running with there, Haydo?

28:32Mike Minogue:It's a real crying shame that you're a disqualified, Jase, because I was going to go for you, but I'm going to go for Keezy. Yeah, good on you, Hayden.

28:40Keyzie:You've got great taste, mate. Have a good long weekend, all right? Good stuff, mate. G'day, Nick, you mad bastard. How's life? Yeah, happy long weekend, fellas. Yeah, and to you, mate, and to you. What are you running with there, Nick?

28:52Mike Minogue:I've got to go with Smogies, Metallica. Yeah, nice, nice. Yeah, back, man.

28:57Keyzie:So it's going to be Gary that's the decider, fellas. G'day, Gary, you mad bastard. How's life? Hey, fellas, all good. Good on you, mate. What are you running with, Gary?

29:07Mike Minogue:Gary sounds like a Kendrick Lamar fan to me. Keezy, Keezy, you're all these absolute shits.

29:16Keyzie:I was going to go I'll say long live

29:19Mike Minogue:Long live the king Woody Jisbot So you're voting for Jase Even though he's disqualified No no I would have I would have Right okay

29:27Keyzie:Because I've only got You know yours was shit So you have to go with With old Moge Yeah Mogey Yeah

29:36Mike Minogue:Mogey wins the thromper Long live the king With help from Gary from Wellington

29:39Keyzie:Who's clearly steamed King nothing from Metallica. Let's play it out.

29:47Mike Minogue:The Hauraki Big Show. Weekdays from four on Radio Hauraki. Throbber.

29:52Keyzie:Yes, indeed. Friday Throbber there, Metallica. King nothing. Fielos.

29:58Mike Minogue:Fielos. Just having a quick look at the old Throbber scoreboard there, Fielos. Way out in front, eight wins this year. Old Mogey. Here he is. Congratulations, mate. Thanks, man. Going well. It's good to be a part of it, Kevzy. Can I say that, man? Yeah, and to win with integrity as well. The Throbber is such a special, special competition. I know a lot of listeners love it. We've done it for a long time. It's been a cornerstone of the show since day dot. And the good thing about it is it's pretty low effort, max return, you know? I mean, there's not much you have to put into it for everyone to come out happy.

30:26Mike Minogue:Exactly. Second place, Keezy on six. Looking pretty good there. Yeah, boy. The thing about you, Keezy, is you get it as well, man. Yeah, totally, man. This is a guy that's got Throbber in his veins. It's in his DNA. He gets it. He understands it. He respects it. I don't know. It's deep inside me. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And coming last on five with two asterisks, Hoody J. I've suddenly gained two asterisks. I think you should have an asterisk. Now, the reason being, the reason being. But what was my other one for, though? Because you chose meat plow. Remember? What was the theme for that one? I can't even remember.

31:01Mike Minogue:Oh, it was Magic Round. It was Magic Round, and your theme was meat plow. Meets smashing into each other. Meat plow. You couldn't be a more appropriate song. Which you didn't think of until somebody else thought of it for you and texted that through to you much later. No, you did. Anyway, well, yeah, let's try and explain the asterisk situation. So, Jase, you already have one definitely for choosing meat plough, which wasn't on theme. And then today we've taken it one further. You had a chance to change your throbber three hours ago. You knew it wasn't on theme, which was King's birthday. You chose The Worm by Audioslave anyway.

31:33Keyzie:I would say not three hours ago.

31:35Mike Minogue:Sorry, two and a half hours ago. Pugs was furious. He came in and agreed that we should disqualify you. However, we need a record of that. We need to show on his permanent record that he's been disqualified.

31:46Keyzie:I reckon, this is what I reckon, you should give me three asterisks. You reckon? Yeah, totally. Can I say legit now? Keezy loves, Keezy is addicted to handing out asterisks. And he loves giving them to Hoere J. And Hoere J fights him tooth and nail. and I sit over on the other side of the desk, having, I don't think in the space of five years, ever received an asterisk at all. Now, I think you're right, Keesley, it should be recorded, but I think it should be, how many wins he's got? Has he got there? Five. Because it's funny at the end of the year to add all these things up. So if he's got five wins, one asterisk, and one disqualification, I think if you record it like that, that's pretty funny.

32:28Mike Minogue:Or should we have another sort of, how do you get disqualified from the throbber? It takes a real effort. Thank you, Mogi. Thank you. A real lack of effort.

32:39Keyzie:It takes a real effort to do that.

32:41Mike Minogue:What if I, instead of an asterisk, I put another symbol there, like a dollar sign or a hashtag? Yeah, there we go. Yeah, cool. Okay, so hashtag D. Okay, so hashtag D means that you've been disqualified. Yeah. So your score is now in last place on five wins with an asterisk, hashtag D, pointy K. Oh, that's great. Yeah, okay, so I'm glad we sorted that out. Tune. Oh, this is written about King Charles, wasn't it, Jase? Yeah, yeah.

33:10Keyzie:It's gorillas.

33:11Mike Minogue:The Hauraki Big Show with Jase, Mike and Kesey. Tune in weekdays at four on Radio Hauraki.

33:18Keyzie:Radio head there on the Radio Hauraki Big Show this Friday evening. The time exactly bang on, 5.30.

33:26Mike Minogue:Nice, fellas. Hey, last night after the show, I went home, had a quick dinner which was reheated mince burritos. Ate that down quick smart and then we went for a night walk around our neighbourhood. A night walk. And I had a spooky encounter. Of the hoity J kind? Nah, just a spooky encounter as opposed to a strange encounter. So we're walking around our neighbourhood, right? It's about an hour long walk. All of it under street lights so it's safe as houses. Out west there. Yes. Nice big walk. As we're coming home, we're just about to our house. We're about 200 metres away. And just coming out of our road, we're walking down this main road.

34:10Mike Minogue:And our road that we live on is off the side of the main road. And just coming out of our road onto the main road is a woman walking, holding something. I was like, hang on, what's that? We get closer. the woman's about 40 and she is holding a chainsaw. A chainsaw. And this is about 9pm at night.

34:37Mike Minogue:What's that about? Was she taking it somewhere? She was walking towards us and I said to my wife that lady's got a chainsaw. Was it running? No. And so as she came closer I was like that is a chainsaw. And a big one too not one of those little ones like a big bastard. Big bastard. It was 9pm on a Thursday. Yeah. She comes close to me and then I look at her and I give her a bit of a, you know, like a smile, crack up, point at the chainsaw. It's a bit of a like, wow, what's going on here? She just dead eyes me, just looks me straight in the eye, doesn't flinch and just frowns at me and walks on.

35:11Mike Minogue:And then after she walked past us, my wife and I kind of were like constantly checking back to see she wasn't chasing after us with a chainsaw. Right. And was she? No. So she just kind of went about her business and it was totally fine, which I thought was weird. You know, I went out the other night as well, actually, Keezy, speaking of spooky interactions there, and parked my corner up and I had to go for a bit of a walk along the road. Clip, clop, clip, clop. Were you riding a horse? Clip, clop. No, I was wearing horseshoes. Oh, yeah. Yeah. and as I was walking down the road I saw up ahead of me underneath a single street light an old woman a crone if you will hunched over oh wow in some kind of a furious argument or certainly appearing to be in some kind of a confrontation but no one else was around oh wow and then as I got closer and closer I realised that the woman was engaged in a debate with her very own shadow.

36:19Ah. So the light above was casting a dark shadow and she was in an argument with that shadow.

36:27Mike Minogue:Whereabouts was this? In the city. Ah. It wasn't Ed Jace's place, was it? Eventually, the woman won the debate when she called her shadow an effing loser and stormed off down the street. But what she didn't know was her shadow was following her. Oh, jeez. All the way home.

36:56Mike Minogue:Have you had any spooky encounters of late, Jase? No, she's been pretty chill around my place. The Hauraki Big Show, weekdays from four on Radio Hauraki.

37:05Keyzie:Nirvana there on the Radio Hauraki Big Show this Friday afternoon. By the way, if you're travelling around the place at the moment, and give us a traffic report on 3483, wherever you may be, because, of course, a long weekend, people getting out and about. We want to know what this, especially you, Keezy, you're heading down sort of south later on. I want to know what the traffic's doing. Now, fellas, you know that I've been looking at my life a little bit, thinking about what I want to do in the future. You know, once I stopped being a top radio DJ, and I don't know if you guys remember, but I went to Vietnam once.

37:47Keyzie:And I was so enamoured with the place that my wife and I, while we were over there, were like, imagine living here. It's cheap.

38:05Keyzie:The food is amazing. The people are amazing. The music is out the gate. So I did a bit of an investigation, finding out, you know, if I wanted to move from New Zealand, sell all my shares, sell all my properties around the place and just cash up and go to Vietnam. Now, here's the thing, first and foremost, you can't stay over there indefinitely. You have to stay there for three months, bugger off over the border again, like you're Cambodia or something like that, come back. Thailand, Laos. And then it was all of those things. Bangkok. We could do that. Bangkok. That's in Thailand. We could do all of those things.

38:46Keyzie:That's fine. But what are we going to do, Moggy? What are we going to do over there? And then I thought, you know, we had mates that lived over there for quite some time. They taught English.

39:00Keyzie:And I thought, there you go. I'm a man of words. You know, I've got a bit of poetry in me. I love the English language. I could go over to Vietnam and teach English, you backbone. Say it after me now, backbone. What does it mean? Define backbone. Yeah. Well, it's just part of the body. No, part of the body. There is no backbone.

39:24Mike Minogue:You've got a spine, which is not a good thing. Da-doosh.

39:30Mike Minogue:Well, that's the thing I feel because, and let me just say, you are the first person to ever go on holiday somewhere and then think about moving there. Yeah. Can I just say that? I know. I'm a bit crazy like that.

39:41Keyzie:And, do you know, because I wouldn't teach them your regular sort of English stuff. You wouldn't teach them English? I would teach them the sort of. Random. Random stuff. Colloquialism. So they could come over to New Zealand and immediately fit in. Backbone. And, do you? Who are the mood? Who are the mood? Three perfect tubes. Three perfect tubes. Oity J. The jizzmeister. Oity J. The jizzmeister. What do you think, fellas? Well, you've tried to be a teacher before, if I recall, and it didn't go very well. It went very well.

40:15Mike Minogue:I just didn't last. What were you teaching? You were a teacher's aide or something, weren't you? No. What were you teaching? Yeah, what were you teaching? Because I remember you walked into class and one of the kids said, why are you wearing those weird pants? That's a true story. And what were you teaching? Primary school. Yeah, but what?

40:36Keyzie:Well, you know, there's no sort of specific subjects in primary school. You teach them what pants not to wear.

40:44Mike Minogue:Yeah. So this is where you went wrong is you went in there and they were like, what are you teaching us? And you're like, well, there's no specific thing that I'm teaching you. Yeah. Why are you wearing those red pants?

40:53Keyzie:Okay, get your history books out, kids. Yeah. You know, because they're like seven. Yeah, right. Okay, kids, get your geometry books out, please. You know what I mean? It was just generic learning.

41:05Mike Minogue:Generic learning. Well, I mean, I'm all for it, Jase. Thanks, man. When would you look at doing that? Next year? Seems a long way away. I don't know if you'll, yeah.

41:15Keyzie:Well, a little bit of planning, fellas. You know, we've got to sell up stuff.

41:19Mike Minogue:A lot of water to go under the bridge before the end, man. A lot of water. Yeah. Do you think you're well-versed enough in English to teach it, though? It's my worry. Yes. Bloody oats, mate. What does that mean? The bloody oats. What does that mean? It's not English.

41:36Keyzie:You see, this is the things you're missing, Kesey. These are the special qualities I can bring to my teaching.

41:40Mike Minogue:Fill your boots, man. Fill your boots. 100%. Oh, well, good luck. Thanks, man. Do you want to throw to this band? Oh, guns. Frozen. The Hauraki Big Show. Weekdays from four on Radio Hauraki.

41:56Keyzie:Yes, indeed, the mint chicks there on the Radio Hauraki Big Show. this Friday evening. The time is 5.56.

42:02Mike Minogue:Fellas, right now, 20 % of Kiwi children are living in households where food regularly runs out. There's one in five Kiwi kids that urgently need our support. Did I say urgently? Yeah, I don't know what that was. You said urgently. I meant urgently. Are you steamed, Keezy? No, Jase, come on, man. Not on air, man. Because we're live on air. Exactly. Shock and bust. Wind completely out of my... If you'd like to donate$20 to Kids Can to help provide more food and meet the increasing need, head to 20for20.org.nz. Just$20 makes a huge difference.

42:34Keyzie:Bloody great stuff, mate. Now, listen, coming up after 6 o 'clock, we've got a$500 Hire a Hubby voucher giveaway. Also, a bit of advice with Meet Paddy Nip 69. My favourite. And maybe a little deli and some sport chat.

42:50Mike Minogue:Good stuff, Jase.

42:51Keyzie:Nice.

42:54Mike Minogue:The Hauraki Beat Show with Jase, Mike and Keezy. Tune in weekdays at four on Radio Hodaki.

43:00Keyzie:Welcome back, you massive backbones. Hope your Friday is going off. You're listening to The Big Show, by the way, brought to you by Toledo.

43:09Mike Minogue:That's right, Toledo's natural electrolyte beverages. You can order them online at toledos.co.nz.

43:19Keyzie:Toledo's. And just on that front, fellas, sad news. This is our last day with our good mates at Toledo's. They're going on to greener pastures. They certainly are.

43:32Mike Minogue:Things I love about Toledo's, I love that they're low in sugar. Yeah. I love no preservatives, man. I love that there's all sorts of natural flavours and colours going on. I love that it's family friendly and made right here in Altidore as well. Yeah, totally, man. We've taken them from, you know, they're a mum and pop shop. They are a small New Zealand brand, a little family-owned joint. We've taken them from being one of the little-known little engines that could, and now they are the biggest drink brand in New Zealand. Are they? Outsell everything. Wow. All of those big American garbage companies, that foreign muck, Jase, as you like to call it.

44:11Is that what you're referring to? By Kiwi owned. We've been banging that drum for a long time now, and there they sit atop the mountain. So job done, fellas. Yeah, I think so, fellas.

44:20Keyzie:a pat on the back for us and a pat on the back for the fellas at Toledo's.

44:24Mike Minogue:I'm pretty sure they came to us and they're like, look man, there's nothing more you can do. Yeah. We're just throwing money away at this stage because we are the top selling beverage in New Zealand now. Yeah, dude. That includes alcoholic beverages too. That's right. People are drinking more Toledo's than they're drinking water. Strawberry. And that includes a few, that's if you include bathing in it as well. Yeah. That's all the swimming pools, showers, baths, you name it.

44:46Keyzie:Funny you should say that actually because when I have a bath at home some nights, so I'll chuck a bottle of Toledo's in there. Oh, two, right. I love the little fizz it creates around my skin.

44:56Mike Minogue:I've been to your house. You don't have a bath. Oh, does your wife wash you in the basin? Yeah, yeah, in the little tub there. But big shout-out to Toledo's. Thank you so much for coming on board with the Hauraki Big Show. They are available at every Fresh Choice across the country. Yes, how good. They're working towards getting them in every single Zed station in the next couple of months. You can find them at certain Pack and Saves and New Worlds as well, slowly rolling out across the nation. I was just talking to them this evening. They're working on actually having a fridge in every home in New Zealand.

45:24Mike Minogue:A Toledo's fridge? Yeah. The government's saying that it's not Kiwi enough, that good New Zealanders are having to travel to any stores to get their hands on Toledos. It should be supplied at home. That's a good idea.

45:36Keyzie:Or even just like a tap on your sink. Thank you. How good. Well, not my sink because I have a bath in that. Yeah, true. Thanks, Toledos. Thank you, Toledos. Love you. Love you guys, man. Getting quite emotional. It was the same, man.

45:50Mike Minogue:Oh, man.

45:52Keyzie:Here's Oasis.

45:53Mike Minogue:The Hauraki Big Show with Jace, Mike and Keezy. Tune in weekdays at four on Radio Hauraki.

45:59Keyzie:Yes, indeed. The Kings of Leon there on the Radio Hauraki Big Show this Friday evening. Now, our good mates at Hire a Hubby have been back on board with the Big Show. And we've been giving away$100 Hire a Hubby vouchers all week long. on the proviso too that all of those people that receive those vouchers go in the draw for a$500 voucher this Friday, i.e. today, tonight, now.

46:23Mike Minogue:Right now. So that is right. Hire a hubby. They are the everything experts. If you need a hand with anything around the house, you call them straight away. Boom, they get the job done. Boom. Who would you like to select out of our winners there, fellas? We've got a couple on the line there. Which one would you like to go to? Just go to the auto selector there, Keezy.

46:39Keyzie:Yeah, I reckon just go random there, Keezy. Whatever comes up, whatever comes up. Just going to fire up the auto-selector.

46:48Keyzie:G'day. Is that Dylan, is it? Oh, g'day, hoody. How are you? Yeah, good, thanks. Mate, how's the Tron tonight? Oh, a bit nippy, but, you know, not as nippy as Keezy's, you know. Nippies. Nippies. Yeah, good on you, Dylan. Yeah, this guy gets it. Now, from recollection, Dylan, you needed a bit of a paint touch-up. Was that right? No. No? Oh, someone to hold the ladder. Yes

47:13Mike Minogue:A bit of steady as a shift Wait so we're giving the$500 voucher to a guy That just needs someone to hold a ladder for him It's not bad though is it Because you had$100 worth of hold your ladder And now you have$600 worth of hold your ladder Yeah hold it for a couple of weeks Surely When you run out of stuff to hold it for You just say can you just keep holding it for the next few hours Just make him hold it

47:35Keyzie:I mean I've paid you up till 6 o 'clock man So if you could just stay there And just keep holding the ladder

47:41Mike Minogue:Well, the good news for you, Dylan, is you've won that$500 voucher, mate. Oh, man, so good. What a life. Good on you, mate. You hold the line and I'll pug-sun. I'll sort you out, okay? Cheers, guys. Have a good one. Get it in you. You too. Yeah, get it in you, Dilly. All right. Get on you, Dilly. Okay, Dilly, mate. You're a mad bastard. God, you're a mad bastard. He is.

48:00Keyzie:Totally. It is Friday. See you, mate. I mean, what's going on there, brother?

48:04Mike Minogue:All right. Okay. Bye, Dylan. Yeah, okay. Bye. See you, mate. Right on. Okay. Okay. Yeah, righto. See you, Dylan. All right, he's gone. He's gone.

48:15Keyzie:I'm hoping. Dylan, are you still there? Oh, no. Oh, yeah, no. Okay, yeah, good. Okay, now he's gone. He's definitely gone. What are you saying, Jase? I'm just saying, you know, I mean, sure, he's got a few. Hang on, hang on.

48:27Mike Minogue:Dylan, are you still there? Okay, now he's gone. He's gone now. Put him on hold. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

48:32Keyzie:That he's got, you know, a few more tasks than that to sort of help out with. Tasks? Yeah, I mean, how tedious, holding a ladder for six days. Well, man, he's getting paid. Yeah, well, that's true. You know? I mean, I suppose there's worse jobs, isn't there? Holding a ladder. Than holding a ladder? Yeah. Is there? Yes. Going up the ladder. What if someone gave you... You'd be terrified out there, Jase. Your little knees would be knocking together. Oh, I love my heights, Maggie.

48:56Mike Minogue:You love your heights. What if someone gave you a really dirty ladder and you had to clean it? Would that be better or worse? Than holding a ladder. Yeah, it'd be worse. Actually, I'd probably rather clean a ladder. I wouldn't. I'd rather hold it. But I'd turn around and sit on it. Why don't you hold it and I'll clean it? I would. Yeah. And Jase? What are you going to do? You just keep doing what you're doing, brother. Yeah, thanks. The Hauraki Big Show. Weekdays from four on Radio Hauraki.

49:22Keyzie:Stone Temple Pilots here on the Radio Hauraki Big Show this Friday evening. Fellas, we haven't done this for a while. Do you fancy a bit of sport, Jack? Yes.

49:36Keyzie:Sports.

49:38Mike Minogue:Sporting, sporting, sporting. Sporting. Sports. Ball sports.

49:44Keyzie:I suppose we will start off with the rugby for a change. Tonight, Crusaders v. the Hurricanes. That is going to be a cracking match. Qualifying finals as well. Yes, indeed. I've got to say, I've watched a lot of the Hurricanes this year. They've been magnificent. But those pesky Crusaders just hanging in there. They won't give it away. No. And as always, they always tend to come good at the end of the season. They don't know the meaning of give up, do they? They don't, Mo. They're a bit thick, but they're really good at rugby. Totally. Is that what you meant? Tomorrow, not another cracking match.

50:16Keyzie:Blues Chiefs. Oh, back phone. Battle of the Bombays. Yeah, Battle of the Bombays. That'll be another cracking match.

50:21Mike Minogue:Also, add to your agenda tomorrow afternoon, 4.35pm, Moana Pacifica taking on the Brumbies. Potentially and likely Moana Pacifica's last ever game. Yeah, I saw something where someone had come to the rescue and bailed them out for about seven million bucks or something like that.

50:36Keyzie:So did I, Mo. I suspect it might have been the New Zealand government. Yeah, I suspect it might have been as well. It might have been a winning special. Oh, OK.

50:44Mike Minogue:Well, don't bother watching it then. Yeah, give it a miss. I'll be back next year. You can watch that then. On Sunday evening... It says here how government money could rescue Moana Pacifica. Yeah, it could. That's for sure. Especially if they gave them some. If they don't give them any, you'll find it won't do much good at all. Yeah. Fair point. Sunday night, 8.15pm, the Panthers are at home to the Warriors. 1v2 on the table there. How good is it? Wa's involved in a top-of-the-table clash. A top-of-the-table clash, baby. And especially this deep into the season as well. It's straight out the back of Origin, which means the teams have got a bit of shaking down to do.

51:18But we can say with certainty that Kurt Capewa, who played for Queensland, and Mitch Barnett will not be playing for the Warriors. Oh, really? We don't need them. They've been rested for the week. And I think that's very smart, especially for Mitch Barnett. But, yeah, we'll see how we go. I'm bloody fizzing for it, I've got to say.

51:37Mike Minogue:I've got a good feeling about this game, Moggy. I think for the first time ever heading into it, the Waz genuinely look like they're a consistent team every week now. They genuinely look like a team that can go toe-to-toe with the best in the comp. Well, and I really only think there is one best in the comp. I feel like every other team is sort of a bit of a step below, and I want to see us tested. I want to see us play the best because, to be honest, there's some pretty average teams this year. There are average teams, and then there are sort of, ooh, pretty good top eight kind of teams. Yeah.

52:05Mike Minogue:But the Panthers are the only side that are, like, really good. Yeah, absolutely. And if we can take them down or even go close, then we're also really good. Yeah, it's exciting stuff there, feels. Great stuff. Jase, is there anything else you'd like to delve into, mate? Oh, there is cricket. Oh, yes, the cricket, the black caps.

52:20Keyzie:Which I think you were saying starts next week, the Lords test match. I'll be tuning into that. That's right. Well, we're currently playing Ireland in a one-off test match at the moment. in a four-day test match. We're flogging the bejesus out of them there. So that's our one and only warm-up. We've probably got our, I was listening to the BYC podcast today, that they haven't got our sort of key bowlers involved at this stage at the risk of losing them for that test series against England, which, as you say, starts next week. Bloody excited for that. I think it's a three-test series. Yes. At minimum, possibly even a four, but, jeez, that's good stuff, man.

52:55English summer on those grounds, being able to watch that stuff. We haven't played Tess Cricket for something like 260 days. That's the sort of cricket I'll watch, Mogi. All day, every day. Absolutely love it. Except I won't get up in the middle of the night for it.

53:08Mike Minogue:Nah. You've also got the US Women's Open. Lydia Ko is playing in that. Roland Garros, the French Open. That is starting to heat up the semis and finals there. You've got Liam Lawson is racing in Monaco in the Grand Prix of Formula 1.

53:20Keyzie:It's just all on, man. There's a lot of stuff happening, fellas.

53:24Mike Minogue:The Hauraki Big Show. Weekdays from 4 on Radio Hauraki.

53:28Keyzie:Faith No More there on the radio. Hodaki, big show this Friday evening. Fellas, do you feel like giving out a bit of advice before the long weekend?

53:40Keyzie:MeetPattyNips69 at gmail.com. Get in touch with the fellas. Yes, meetPattyNips69. I don't know. I don't even know what to say there. Hang on.

53:50Mike Minogue:MeetPattyNips69 at gmail.com. Real email address. Get in touch. 100 % anonymous. And if we read your question on the show, bless you. And if we read your question on the show, you get a prize, which is exciting. A surprise? Sure. I guess a surprise prize. Surprise, you get nothing. Well, no, it's something. Don't forget to get in touch because we're starting to run low. A fresh batch came through yesterday, which is good, but keep them coming, man. We love this segment. This comes from Anonymous. G'day, feelers. And Tony. I need some help with an Instagram caption. I've spent the last six months living in Spain, and I'm wanting to do a post on Instagram showing a bunch of pics from my travels.

54:28Mike Minogue:Unfortunately, I can't think of any decent captions for my post. So far, the best I've got is, España? Hardly nowhere. I figure with your social media knowledge and Hoi DJ's poetry skills, you'll be able to come up with something a lot better. Appreciate your assistance with this. Cheers from Spain Anonymous.

54:46Keyzie:Well, I need to see the pics.

54:47Mike Minogue:Well, it'll just be generic young Kiwi overseas pics. Yeah. You know, like, oh, here's me outside the Granada. Yeah, Pugs is good with this sort of stuff. Yeah, totally. He is. Funnily enough, he came up with that one there. I hardly know her. I hardly know her. Now, the other one you could do is, you know, felt, what is it? Felt cute, might delete later. That's another one. Oh, that's a new whole one. People love that one. You could also do a, one thing I've noticed is that young fellas, well, not fellas, people in general, in the sort of 20s. Fellas, yeah. They would post a whole lot of random pics with a caption that makes no sense whatsoever, just like a weird saying.

55:24Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

55:25Mike Minogue:It makes no sense to me. So I post a whole lot of pics. I go, here are some photos from Spain. Yeah, that's right. Spanish flag emoji. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. You know what I mean? Yeah, I do. Yeah, I mean, it's an interesting question because I couldn't care less what he does. Yeah, but no, he, this is. I mean, I understand he's asking for advice. Yeah. And so I sort of feel some kind of an obligation to be useful in some way. Yes. But I just can't master even the slightest sliver of interest.

55:54Keyzie:Like if he was sitting opposite me now, right now, and he asked me that, it'd be, what are you asking me for? Exactly, like if you're in random conversation with him and you got introduced to him somewhere and you're having a little chat there, he's like, man, I've got to do this social media post, man, can you think of a caption? Yeah. No.

56:11Mike Minogue:But if we're going to take that approach to all the advice questions. No, it's just this one. It's just this particular one. It's just this one.

56:17Keyzie:And as I say, I need the pictorial stimulation. You need to look at the photos. Look at the photos. Why don't you just say, look at the photo? You know, to give me an idea of what the caption should be. In particular, that first photo there is going to have a huge influence on what the...

56:35Mike Minogue:Okay, let's just say the first photo is him with Alhambra behind him, or like, which is a place in Granada, Spain, which I've been to, or like something like that. You know what I mean? Just a famous Spanish... Is he got a shirt off? No, shirt on. Is he side boob? No, side. No. Okay. Good looking young fella. Looking over his shoulder? He's just looking at the camera in front of a cool landmark like Alhambra or something else. I can't think of anything else. I know. More punishing travel photos. Backbone. You could do a funny plow and lose.

57:04Keyzie:How about like hashtag Alhambra?

57:07Mike Minogue:Backbone. That's actually not bad. Yeah. What about, oh, I fell over and spained my ankle. Spained it. Jase. I don't want the guy to lose followers. Based on. Okay, well, hashtag Alhambra. Yeah. Hashtag backbone. Hashtag midnight steamer. Can you please tag the Hauraki Big Show in this so we can have a look at it? The Hauraki Big Show, weekdays from four on Radio Hauraki.

57:45Keyzie:Well, there you go, you mad bastards. That's the big show done and dusted this Friday and indeed for the week. What's the podcast outro clip today, Keezy?

57:53Mike Minogue:Today's podcast outro pretty much centred around theft. Comes out at 7.30pm tonight, wherever you get your podcast from. What a piece of shit you've turned into.

58:04Keyzie:I just want to assure the listeners actually to this podcast. No, we're not joking. It's the truth. This is just all jokes. No, it is not.

58:12Mike Minogue:I mean, I knew it.

58:15Keyzie:I mean, we're just having a bit of fun.

58:18Mike Minogue:Not me, man. Just old Hoody J making light of his thieving antics around the office here. Yeah. We did the maths on how many chips he's stolen. Yeah. Monetary-wise. To find out the total, you have to check out the... Give or take. I was going to say check out the outro, but yeah, 10 grand, give or take.

58:37Keyzie:Hey, Mogi, what's the plan for the long weekend? Well, I'll be completely honest with you, man. I've got a little bit of work to do. Oh, fun. But I'm going to go to Pihar. Going to go to Pihar, the beach. Yeah. Do a couple of day trips around the joint. Nice. My missus has to work on the Monday there. She works in film. They've got no respect for the king's birthday. Yes. Couldn't care less about the king. I said you should quit and protest. The king? You're not going to show respect to the king? King Charles? Nah, they don't care. Yeah, disgraceful. It's all right, but I'm looking forward to it, man.

59:06Especially that game, that Warriors game. I'm very excited about that.

59:08Mike Minogue:What about you, Keezy, man? What have you got planned, baby? I'm going to go down to Tauranga there, see my parents. Haven't seen them in a couple of months. I've been overseas. So it'll be nice to go catch up with them, go out for dinner, etc. Go watch a play that my friend is in. and yeah, just chill, man. Yeah, man. And then come back to...

59:24Keyzie:A few beers. A few beers, who cares, Mogi? Yeah, totally. Jeez, I just had wicked deja vu then. I don't know why. What about now? Oh, no one knows why. No one knows why.

59:33Mike Minogue:Is it because we do the same thing every day at this time? Yeah, possibly. Yeah, that could be...

59:37Keyzie:What am I doing? Yeah, what do you ask? I'm just going to tootle around the town, but my wife and I, someone's pulled out of going to the family batch, and so we're toying with the idea of maybe going a night out there. Why wouldn't you go all night? Oh because I like just cruising around the city Moggy You know what I mean Have you started begging around the city Because I'm beginning to get the vibe That you are turning into a local character Actually yes It is my favourite thing to do My wife and I We just head out the door and just get walking Hey New Zealand Listen You have a great long weekend Take care of yourselves We'll be back on the Tuesday Until then see you later

1:00:19Thank you.