FULL SHOW: Blurred Vision

11:55Keyzie:Biffy Cairo there on the Radio Hauraki Big Show. this Wednesday afternoon and we've got tickets to give away for Christchurch and Auckland. That's right. Monday the 13th of April next year James Hay Fair to Christchurch or Wednesday the 15th of April at the Town Hall in Auckland. They haven't actually been here. They're from Scotland originally. Scotland! That's the one. They haven't been here in eight years. Scotland! Let's take a look at your wind. Scotland! Oh, come on, man. What? Lucky we've disarmed the racism and bloody siren there. The racism alarm. If you are keen to go see them live, though, we do have double passes to give away.

12:39Should we go to the phones there, feelers?

12:40Keyzie:Yeah, let's go to Kieran, shall we? Oh, no, you've got to go to Kat. Hi, Kat. G'day, Kat. How's life? Oh, g'day, guys. How are you? Yeah, good, thanks, mate. How are you, Kat? Yeah, I'm bloody great, thank you.

12:52Jase:Give us your best Scottish accent, Kat, you mad dog. No, I'm Irish. Lucky I heard your impersonation there.

13:01Keyzie:Wasn't too bad. Oh, yeah, thank you. Well, Jase, what does an Irish accent sound like? To be sure, to be sure. Oh, no. Sorry, Kat. Obviously, you're a fan of Biffy Clyro. I am, yes. Yeah, nice. And what do you do for a crust, Kat? I'm a personal trainer up in the Bay of Islands. Oh, backbone. Yeah, massive backbone. That's a great call. Hey, tell me, Ken, have you seen old Moogies, Rick? Holy moly. Oh, that's fantastic. Yeah, you can tell he's just curving. Yeah, he is cut like a...

13:34Jase:Have you seen Keezy's nips? Oh, I couldn't miss them. Can see them from the whole way up to the far north here.

13:44Have you seen Jase's honker? I don't see him answer.

13:49Keyzie:I knew you were going to say that. I knew it. All right, Ken. I'm presuming since you're Bay of Islands, you're going Auckland, yeah? Yeah, Auckland would be great. Yeah, sweet as, mate. All right, well, that double pass is all yours, Kat. Oh, Legend, thank you so much. No worries. Just hold the line and I'll pug son to look after you there. And we've got the crush, which one to give away, Jase? Here in your mad bastard, how's life? Guys, how are we today? Yeah, good, thanks, mate. Bloody good, thanks, Karen. What do you do for a crush, man? I work for a joinery company. You're a back man.

14:20Jase:Does that mean you're a joiner man or does that mean you're working in reception there? I work at a desk. I'm off the tools. You're a bad guy. Good on you.

14:28Keyzie:We all reach that point, actually, Kieran, in our careers. You've got to get off the tools, man. You know, we do the hard yards, whack stuff around, and then they put us out to the back paddock there. Yeah, hide in me office. Yeah, good on you, mate. I want to tell you what, those tickets are yours as well, all right? Awesome. Thanks, guys. No worries, Kieran. Always go, brother.

14:47Jase:You enjoy them. Now, that was a bloody good tune. I didn't realise that that was their song. 100%. I'm going to be giving them a listen. When are they playing again, man? That's April next year, man. 13th and 15th, Christchurch, then Auckland. And if you do want tickets, livenation.co.nz. Good on you, man. I'm getting into that. Yeah, I'm going to go to that, I think. Yeah, this is another one of theirs, actually. Oh, man. Oh, so good. That sounded like Inkubus. Oh, wait, this is Inkubus. Yeah, sorry. Oh, right. Oh, God. The Hauraki Big Show. Weekdays from four on Radio Hauraki.

15:19Keyzie:Aerosmith Fair on the radio. I wasn't turned up. That was the problem there. Oh, mate. I thought Keezy had forgotten to push the button. It was my fault. It wasn't Keezy's. It's OK, man. I'll take the blame for that one. I'll take the cut. Incidentally, West Indies, 144 for six, trail by 87. Fellas, let's talk TV. What's on the telly with Mike Minogue?

15:48Jase:Yes. Jase. Jase, you've got to say yes, otherwise he won't stop. Yes. Fellas, I watched something called, potentially called the Cayman Family Murders, or the Cayman something, right? Yes. It was on the old Netflix there, and it's about this young fella there and his mum, and they love to go fishing together. And one day, the mother does not come back. Oh, no. and suspicion is soon it's placed on the son who's pretty severely affected by autism. Then it's also sort of revealed that the grandfather, who was a Greek tycoon, worth a lot of money, Kesey. A fortune. A fortune. He's been killed in curious circumstances as well.

16:33Jase:Oh, wow. We start to think into yourself, jeez, you're choking, aren't you? Surely this young fella here, this teenager, he couldn't have done it. And it sort of takes you through the twists and the turns, et cetera, et cetera. it's actually pretty good, but it gets to a, they sort of go through that thing where it's getting interesting now, and then somebody goes, we grew up in a town in 1932. Oh, God, we're going to learn whole about the family. I don't care about that. I'm here for the murders. Don't care how you grew up. So anyway, fast forwarded through that, and then what's the rest of it?

17:05Jase:Not bad. Three buzzies. Interesting crime stuff out of a potential five buzzies on this occasion. yeah, not bad, fine as far as those sorts of things go, won't blow your socks off, feels like you've seen it, Jase. I watched it last night, no guess.

17:23Keyzie:That very same thing, and I pretty much concur with your analysis of it, really, in terms of that kind of investigative kind of who murdered who, was it unfair, was he set up, was he after the fortune? Yes. It's very stock standard in that regard. I would give it three buzzies too, actually. Yeah, three buzzies too. Three buzzies. Oh, actually, no, I'll go 2.9 buzzies. Right, okay. I just think it's important, just if there's any first-time listeners who tune in and just hear you say, I give it three buzzies. Yes.

17:55Jase:There's no first-time listeners. Oh, they're not? No, they're all stock standard. Are we not bringing in new listeners anymore? No, no. We're full. We're full. We've put the full sign on the door. You can't come in.

18:06Keyzie:No more rooms at the inn, Kesey. Right, so if anyone right now has just tuned in for the first time, Do we say leave? Yeah, you're going to have to get out of here. Leave. You've got to switch to another station. Yeah, that's right. We could do a fold-out bed scenario. A futon? Yeah. Actually, I'm looking at fold-out beds at the moment. My daughters are all coming home, and it's like, where are we going to put them all? You know what I mean? Fold-out bed. Oh, wow, Dad. Thank you. Yeah, watch. So glad I came home for this. They're only here for a few days. I'm not buying a whole bed for that. No, that's true, man.

18:35Keyzie:You know what I'm saying, fellas? Yeah, that was right, man. Yeah. I didn't watch anything last night. I was at a stage show. Oh, yes. And I'll do a review of that stage show after five o 'clock. How good. Isn't that exciting? It is. Oh. Radio Head. The Hauraki Big Show. Weekdays from four on Radio Hauraki. Radio Head there on the Radio Hauraki Big Show this Wednesday evening. There's heaps coming up after five o 'clock, by the way. Mogi goes to the optometrist. What happens? Keezy reviews the theatre show that he and his wife went to last night. An old hoity Jay embarrasses himself in front of a real estate agent.

19:15Plus, keep an ear out in the next sort of 30 or so minutes. We're going to be playing a cuter call if you hear it. Give us a call on 0800 Hauraki and you and a mate could be flying to LA for the iHeartRadio Alter Ego event.

19:27Jase:Beautiful. The Hauraki Big Show with Jace, Mike and Keezy. Tune in weekdays at four on Radio Hauraki.

19:36Keyzie:Welcome back, Immersive Backbones. Hope you're getting through your hump day tickety-boo. This is The Big Show brought to you by Reburg Year. Craveworthy Street Feud, freshly made with Reburg Year. OK, and looking ahead to your Reburg Year report for the week. As the evening rolls in, you can expect craveworthy burgers with pockets of other variations of gourmet street food. Perfect for dining and takeaway. Now, looking ahead to tomorrow, there's a strong chance of beef, chicken, vegan and vegetarian conditions. But across the week, regardless of what you're seeing outside, you can expect it to be...

20:22Yeah!

20:25Keyzie:Great stuff. Now, I've got a massive bone to pick. right now. Do you want me to hold on to this resentment, Keezy, or should I just get it out now?

20:40Keyzie:We won a voucher for a takeaway just down the corner there. $250 worth it was, maybe. And I've just found out because I'm starving. I was going to go and get some food from there, and old Keezy has spent the last of it. But not only that, he spent the time before that as well out of the$250 voucher that we got given. Do you know what I had? Yeah, how much did you have? I had some loaded fries out of a$250 voucher.

21:12Jase:Yeah, you've been stitched up there, man.

21:14Keyzie:I am spewing.

21:16Jase:Now, Keezy, to his credit, he's just said to you, oh, it's all good, man. I'll buy you a burger to make up for it. But as you were saying, he could have bought his own burger in the first place and we wouldn't be in this situation.

21:28Keyzie:Thank you. But I'll take you up on that, Keezy. I see we've got a two-songer coming up there. Plenty of time for you to go and order Hoity J some food. I'll order it online, man. And then I won't have to leave the studio. Now I can continue prepping for a huge hour that's coming up on the show. I can't just leave the studio willy-nilly. It is a huge hour. That's right. Hey, speaking of huge, how about a bit of guns and roses? I don't know about that. There's a tune, by the way. The Hauraki Big Show, weekdays from four on Radio Hauraki. Queen there on the Radio Hauraki Big Show this Wednesday afternoon.

22:13Keyzie:The West Indies, 1.57 for six, trail by 74.

22:16Jase:Fellas, I went and got my eyes tested today. Yeah. I think it's time for old Mogi to get some glasses, some reading glasses. Yeah. Because, yeah, she's a blurry bastard, especially in the morning. Yes. I asked the optometrist lady down there, Dr. Jennifer. That was her name, Lady. Oh, Dr. Dr. Jennifer. You like that? It's hot. And she said, yeah, that's right. It takes a while for your eyes to warm up in the morning. Some mornings when we play golf, Jase says he can't see the golf ball properly. It's all blurry. Yeah, there you go. True that. It's true. No, 100%. Blind as a bat. Blind as a bat.

22:59Jase:So anyway, I went down there to get tested. And it's an interesting thing because I have had experience with an optometrist before, but it was pretty archaic machinery then. And now they work bloody good. So it turns out that my good eye, as I like to call it, my right eye. The one that can see. It's very healthy. Very healthy eye. Not going to be prone to any diseases. Yeah. Very good veins and blood vessels running through there. Keezy. The lens is looking good. That's good, man. Just a little bit near. Not quite where it could be for the old reading. So they're going to sling some glasses on me.

23:35Jase:The other one's poked. The other one's no good. You got shot in the eye. Got shot in the eye with a skyrocket. And she said, that one's no good. Yeah. And I told her, I said, no surprises there really, is there? She said, any saving it? Can you get any glasses for that that'll fix that? She said, no. I said, I've got a mate. What do you think about this? I said, he's getting on. I said, he lies about his age. I know one of those bastards too. This guy's a shocking bastard. He's blind as a bat. He's always holding up glasses at arm's length so he can read things. This guy's been as blind as long as I've known him.

24:12Jase:He's never, ever gone to see an eye doctor. And she said that's shocking. She said if he doesn't do that, his eyesight is going to get drastically worse, drastically faster than if he went along and saw an eye specialist. I said the trouble with this guy is he's a shocking bastard. He doesn't like Garner doctors. He doesn't like Garner get himself sorted out. What can I do to help this guy? She said, well, you better do it urgently because I tell you what, I give him to the end of the year. he's going to be walking around like Mr Magoo, walking out into traffic not knowing what's going on. The end of this year?

24:45Yeah. Far out. And that's a mate of yours.

24:47Keyzie:I'd definitely get in touch with a man and just go, come on, man, pull your bootstraps up, for God's sake.

24:54Jase:But does he wear, like, he must wear some sort of glasses. Does he? I think he's got, like, 80 pairs of$2 ones that he sort of gets.

25:00Keyzie:Yeah, you see, no, no. Yeah, go and see a professional and get it. Totally. Well, because, you know, it's not one size fits all. And this is the thing about optometrists. Yes. Is they specialise. And they can be very specific about what you need, whether you're near or far or whatever have you.

25:19Jase:I'll tell you what I liked about the options that she gave me here. Well, she said you can have it there so that you've just got down the bottom of the glasses and the bottom of the lens. Yes, bifocals. Bifocals, so you'll be able to read down the bottom. I said, no, I don't want those ones because you look like an old bastard. You know what I mean? where you've got the thicker lenses down the bottom of each lens and then it's fine up the top. So when you look down, you're looking through the bottom. When you look up, she said, no, it's changed now. You don't see the lines and you don't see that there's a difference of lenses there and a more magnified version down the bottom.

25:54Jase:It's all blended in, Hoidejo. It's all blended in. So you actually look younger because you just leave them on the whole time. You don't look like such an old fool with a set of glasses out the end of your arm. Yeah. Totally. I mean, because you've only got one good eye anyway. Why don't you just get a monocle? Oh, well, that's what I said to her. I said, is it half the price? She said half the price, absolutely.

26:15Keyzie:Well, this is the other thing too. I mean, this is obviously what your mate's doing. He doesn't want to spend a fortune on bloody eye glasses. I mean, my wife's got bifocals. It took her a while to adjust, actually, because she's had monty eyes since she was a bub. Right. You know what I mean? Is that your nickname for her? No. And it all started, actually, true story, when her dad dropped her on her head when they were in the playground. What's your excuse? Oh, yeah, look. Actually, yes. The last time I went, 2020.

26:46Jase:That was the year? That was the year, yeah. What was your vision?

26:50Keyzie:It was 2020 was the year and my vision was 2020. And she said, I have never seen better blood vessels in an eye. What was she wearing? Warrior shirt. It's a jersey. Oh, it might have been a jersey, actually. Oh, don't worry about it. Oh, I sighted a bit off. The Hauraki Big Show. Weekdays from four on Radio Hauraki. Red. Hot. Chilli peppers there on the Radio Hauraki Big Show. Cricket is off for rain at the moment, just so you know. Thanks, mate. Classic. Good stuff. Fellas, I went to a live theatre show last night. Yeah. Yeah. Dinner in theatre, wasn't it? Oh, yeah. Dinner in theatre, very, very quick dinner.

27:36We were cutting it pretty fine there. Yes. But I had a laksa. Oh, no. I asked for hot spice. Oh, God. It was more like a medium.

27:43Jase:Was it a shocker? No, it was probably the worst. To be honest, it was the worst laksa I've ever had. Because we told you, really, we told you yesterday that when you got to the theatre, you had to sit by the door. Yeah. Well, it was a science setting. Just in case the laksa went through you, you know what I mean? No, it doesn't, man. I've got an iron gut.

27:58Keyzie:Why is because, wow, that's not entirely true. I mean, you do tend to have bouts of explosive diarrhea. What? There's a sting there for it, man. Okay. Moggy's asked for this sting to be made. It's Jeezy's worst nightmare.

28:20What do you want me to do here, Moggy? Do you want me to tell the story of how the night actually went? Yes, please.

28:27Jase:Yeah, yeah, yeah. Or do you want to... No, I was a bit worried about you because you had your Luxor and I knew you went along to the show, but we were a bit worried about what might happen in there. We talked about it in yesterday's show and I don't want to go over it again because it was a disgrace. I really want to read out Mike's message to the group chat today. Sure. Keezy's worst nightmare comes true when he craps himself at the play and the building is evacuated and he is arrested and as the police lead him away, the crowd starts cheering, Keezy, Keezy, Keezy. And then he said, Pugs, can you please make a sting called Keezy's Worst Nightmare?

29:04Jase:So that was just an idea I had in the chat because I didn't know if that had happened or not. And if it had, I didn't want us to miss the opportunity to talk about it on air. So is that what happened? No, no, it didn't happen. Fortunately, because that would have been my worst nightmare.

29:19Keyzie:Yeah, and everyone else is around you as well. Yeah, hard out. It's Casey's worst nightmare So do you want me to actually talk about this stage? I'd love to hear about it Yeah sure Okay So last night I went to the Civic Theatre In downtown Auckland Watched a show It was A Christmas Carol Yes Now I said yes to this Because my wife loves Christmas Yes Moggy You were potentially thinking about Taking your daughter along to this Yes Moggy Minogi How old is she now?

29:49Jase:She is six and I was advised not to, they said, cut off at about 10. Yeah. There were so many kids under the age of 10 there and they were all terrified. Yeah, right. It is the special effects of this live stage show are next level. Right. Like really, really good. The stage management, the way things move around and stuff, but the ghost stuff because it's all about the ghost of Christmas past and Christmas present and all the special effects and there's a really spooky bit. My wife was gripping tightly on my forearm of a stage show. Yes. And there were kids sitting in front of us who were sitting in their seats and then for the really scary bit, they were sitting on their mum facing the other way just hugging her.

30:33Jase:Yeah, that's what I don't want. Yeah, terrifying. But I must say, at the very start, they were all standing around just sort of like a trash can fire and they started singing. And I looked at my wife and I went, oh, gosh, here we go. Is there anything worse than starting off of the song? I don't like musicals.

30:49Keyzie:I don't like songs full stop at all. That's true, you don't. Unless it's the chillies. You are a music hater. Yeah, or like Green Day. They started singing. My wife looked at me. We both laughed, and I was like, oh, God, here we go. It was brilliant. It was 90 minutes straight with no middle half-time, no intermission. It was brilliantly acted. The older boy who played Ebenezer Scrooge and another bloke who played the Ghosts of Christmas Past and Present and stuff, their acting was magnificent. I was actually captivated for 90 straight minutes. Hey. And I traditionally do not like theatre shows or musicals or anything like that.

31:25Jase:How many buzzies? That's how that's going to be five. Massive. Oh, in terms of a rating? Yes. I give it, for a theatre show that I've seen, I give it 4.2 buzzies out of 5. That's pretty good. Every other theatre show I've ever seen is like two buzzies. Right. It was really, really, really good. Great.

31:44Keyzie:You didn't shit yourself. Oh, no, I did. The Hauraki Big Show. Weekdays from four on Radio Hauraki. My Heart Radio. Alter Ego.

32:00Let's get another great New Zealander in the draw.

32:04Keyzie:Yes, and that's going on in LA, I believe, Keezy. That's right, Los Angeles, January 17th, 2026 at the Kia Forum, featuring some of the biggest names in Alt Rock. Aqua Talk and Green Day, Sublime, Cage the Elephant, plenty more as well. If you win this prize, you listen out for the Q2 call, get yourself in the drawer by calling 0800 Hodaki. But if you get the prize, it's tickets for you and a mate to go to the gig, you get a hotel, you get a grand cash in spending money, and you get flown there direct to LA, courtesy of Air New Zealand.

32:33Jase:And that's on a plane. That's on an aeroplane. That's a plane. That's the one with two wings. Yep. I'm not sure how many engines. Good stuff, mate.

32:41Keyzie:Now let's go to the phone lines. It's Paul from Napier. How are you, you mad bastard? Good, thanks, fellas. How are you? Yeah, good, thanks, Paul. How's Napier today, mate? Yeah, she's just started raining. Bit of thunder. Oh, yeah. All over the country, it sounds like.

32:56Jase:It's been as hot as Hades over there, though, hasn't it? It has recently, but I think there was a cricket match on here today. It would have been bad. Yeah, yeah. Paul, is it thunderbolts and lightning very, very frightening? All of that, yeah.

33:10Keyzie:Tell me, Paul, what do you do for a crust?

33:13Jase:I'm a bean counter.

33:15Keyzie:Oh, backbone. You need your bean counters, mate. It'll all turn to havoc otherwise. Who would you take with you if you were to win this? The Masters. Yeah, good on you, mate. Yeah, good stuff, Paul. All right, mate, you hold the line there and old Pugs will chuck you in the drawer, all right? Excellent, thank you. No worries, mate. Let's go to Jack from Auckland. G'day, Jack, you mad bastard. How's life? Yeah, not bad, fellas. Not bad. Still recovering from the weekend. Oh, on Wednesday.

33:45Jase:You must have had a big weekend, Jack. Give us a rough overview, man. Concert at Western Springs, and yeah, that's enough. That'll do, yeah. Had some mates that went along to that. They flicked me a text at 3 o 'clock in the morning to ask me if I was coming out. Yeah. No, sir. Yeah, yeah. They said we've just bumped into this guy, Jack. He's off his head.

34:07Keyzie:But I think you do need to come out at some stage, Mogi. Oh, thanks, man. And you'll have all of our support. 100%, man. Hey, Jack, are you keen to go to LA, man? Oh, more than anything. Yeah, boy. And who would you take? Actually, hang on. I'm worried about Jack now. I mean, if it's Wednesday, he went to a gig on Saturday, and he's still really feeling it. I mean, how's he going to handle LA in a big gig like that?

34:33Jase:More of the same, man. More of the same. I'll put the effort in. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I've got no doubt there, Jack. We're going to need you to really put the effort in, Jack. And if you win, mate, who will you take with you? Probably the missus. Yeah, you're probably the missus. Stoked about it. Yeah, yeah.

34:48Keyzie:She's probably loving you being this way for the last three days. I'm picturing Jack. Yeah, sleeping on the couch. Yeah, pick your lip up. Yeah, good on you, mate. All right, you hold the line, man. Pugs is going to sort you out and chuck you in the drawer, all right? Cheers. Good on you, mate. Bloody good.

35:03Jase:Jesus was still struggling, wasn't he? He was. I know what he was up to, mad bastard. Hey, fellas, within New Zealand's nonstop Auckland to Los Angeles, service and seamless USA connections with United Airlines, you can experience it all. Oh, thanks, man. That's good to know. That was seamless. Absolutely seamless. Thanks, guys. Here's garbage. The Hauraki Big Show. Weekdays from four on Radio Hauraki.

35:25Keyzie:The Clash there on the Radio Hauraki Big Show this Wednesday evening. It looks like they're taking the covers off at Hagley Oval, so maybe a bit more play at the end of the day, fellas.

35:35Jase:Bloody exciting stuff, man.

35:36Keyzie:Speaking of exciting stuff, you'll know I'm looking for a flat at the moment. It's been 20-odd years since I've done that, and it's been quite the experience, I can tell you, because I know you guys are big on your property. You're always on your computers looking at, you know. Or as everyone else calls them, computers. Oh, is that what they're called? Computers. Or you're looking at property. And you guys are forever showing me, you know, picks of properties that you'd like to buy, and it's a bit tedious, actually. But now I get it. I get it because I'm looking at property now myself that I want to move into.

36:08Keyzie:One of the things I've noticed is they're very good, aren't they, at portraying a home via photos and making it look amazeballs.

36:18Jase:It's pretty amazing. It's weird that they do that because then you get there and it's like, well, this doesn't look like that. Exactly. So I'm leaving now.

36:26Keyzie:It's pretty much exactly that. About four or five that we've looked at, it's like this looks absolutely nothing like the photos. The other thing too is, I know, Jase, you're looking at apartments. Yes. If it's a house and you put the filter to say, I want a house, not an apartment or anything like that, and the first photo, the main photo is of the interior, I instantly go, the house is obviously super ugly or a leaky home. Well, you get that scenario where it's exterior shots everywhere of what's outside the house. But anyway, I went to one today with my wife and made a fool of myself with a real estate agent.

37:05Keyzie:You tried to bribe him. No, I didn't try and bribe him. I cracked a joke. Oh, God.

37:11Jase:Was it like a big show joke? It's not the worst thing you could have cracked.

37:14Keyzie:Yeah, well, I had a semi-stiffy, but I don't think anyone noticed that. And anyway, so we're looking around this place, and to be honest, I wasn't interested. I wasn't interested at all. But you know how you feel like you should. Why do you have a semi there? You looked interested. You feel like you should sort of show a bit of interest. You know, so they don't feel like they're wasting their time. Oh, that's a nice tap. Yeah. And anyway, I said to him, oh, what's the situation with pets? And he said, oh, what kind of pets are you talking? And I said, a pig. That's funny, yes. Before I even thought about it, before I even thought about it, I went, a pig?

38:03Keyzie:and he looked at me and he was like, oh. What an idiot, man. No, obviously. And I was like, oh, no, no, no, I'm not. I don't have a pet pig. It was just me. It was just me making a joke, man. He was like, oh, right, yeah, yeah, yeah. No pets, though, no pets.

38:30Jase:Oh. So that didn't go well, fellas. That could have just been an out for him, you know. You said that. Well, for you, he's no... Oh, well, yeah, I should have. I've got to bring my pig. Yeah. So I took my little stiffy out of there. The Hauraki Big Show. Weekdays from four on Radio Hauraki.

38:49Keyzie:Faith No More there on the Radio Hauraki Big Show this Wednesday night. Another wicket for the Kiwis. Strangled down the leg side, the West Indian, 157 for seven, trailing by 74. Hey, fellas, we've teamed up with Lazy Boy to celebrate the launch of their new Neo X Power recliner in New Zealand. There's one in the studio here that we've all been testing out. It comes with a remote, fully electronic, has an iPad holder, iPhone holder, wireless charging, everything you could potentially need. If you are keen to win that exact cheer, text the word LAZY, L-A-Z-Y, to 3483 to get yourself in the draw to win.

39:22Keyzie:Sounds good, Keezy. Speaking of Vooch, after 6 o 'clock, Keezy saw an old man fall down. In town today. Did you see an old man fall down? An old man. An old man. Yeah. Man. And he dropped his computer. Yeah. The Hauraki Big Show with Jase, Mike and Keezy. Tune in weekdays at four on Radio Hauraki. Welcome back, you massive backbones. You're listening to The Big Show brought to you by Ree Burger. Craveworthy street food freshly made with Ree Burger.

40:02Keyzie:My wife sent me a text just before I was saying how starving I was. And she said, oh, you're probably not going to be stoked about dinner then. What is it? And it was chicken and silverbeet noodle soup. Yeah. And I was like, that actually sounds okay. Because I can chuck some chilli in there, a sauce. Yeah. But to be honest, putting noodles in soup is one of the best things I ever discovered like five, six, seven years ago. Right. We're finding out about stuff like luxes and ramens and all these Asian soups with noodles in. I can't believe I'd never eaten it earlier.

40:43Jase:Yeah, well, I'm starving as well, Jase. We're both in a sort of a hole here, aren't we? Yeah, we're a massive hole. And we can't steal chips because they're doing the commentary in the chips room. The ACC studio. My wife texted me and said, I was hoping that we'd be able to have ravioli for dinner. Fresh ravioli. Yeah, okay. But our daughter's eaten all of it. So she said, I hope you're not hungry. Right. But I am hungry, Kesey. What are you going to do? You have to get some other food? I've got this pink wafer biscuit here. So I'll eat that. From the sample box.

41:15Keyzie:Just shove it in your gob. Yeah. Could get some Reburger on the way home. Oh. Up next, fellas. I saw an old man fall over in town.

41:27That's it, that's literally it

41:28Jase:I can't wait to hear about it because it is a conundrum It is a huge conundrum

41:31Keyzie:Well I mean if that's all it was, you've done it now right? No no, there's a little bit more to it Only a little bit though The Hauraki Big Show Weekdays from 4 on Radio Hauraki Queens of the Stone Age there on the Radio Hauraki Big Show this Wednesday evening Fellas, as we head into summer I don't know about you guys but one of the favourite things that I like to do is go out on the old boat there. Oh, really? Take the outboard out and do a bit of fishing in the Manako heads, get a bit of snapper action going.

42:02Jase:Are you guys into boats? I went on a great boat over in, what do you call that place? Fiji. It was a big ship and it was a wooden basket. I like that. Yeah. I like being able to walk around. I like that it was wood and not plastic. I had a great view. I normally would say I don't like boats, but after that I love boats now. And if I ever go back to the islands again, I think I'll stay on a boat. I've done that. I stayed on a boat for four nights. Right. I loved it as well. In Fiji. One of the best things I've ever done while on holiday, Jase, was a sunset cruise on the Mekong River Delta. Oh, whoa.

42:36Yeah, that'd be cool. I've been to that. That was in a boat. I simply masked. Three hours unlimited booze, just like on the Mekong watching people fish.

42:43Keyzie:I think my daughters did that very same thing, actually. They were there. Oh, they were. Yeah, yeah. Because she was in a red Aqua, a Toyota Aqua. I saw her there. Yeah, yeah. But the reason we're talking about boats is because we're giving away a boat again. Yes. Now, we did this a few years back. They've decided to come back again and give away another one. Thanks to the legends at Fin Chaser Boats. It's worth$75 ,000. It's a Fin Chaser 535 center console, a Mercury 60 ELPT four-stroke CT outboard.

43:11Jase:Oh, my God. You're joking. $75 ,000. And a Voyager trailer. So it comes on the trailer as well. You've got the outboard. You've got the brand-new boat. We took it out this morning for a bit of a hoon around. Captain Jerry was at the helm there. A whole lot of other goodies thrown in as well, including four life jackets. It'll be vinyl wrapped as well. A whole heap of awesome stuff.

43:31Keyzie:And a 75K. That's right. Wow. If you are keen to win this sucker, text the word BOAT to 3483. You'll get a link to the entry form. We're looking for a name. You have to name the boat to get yourself in the drawer. Whatever you put through as the name, if you win it, that will be what is written on the side of that boat. Yeah, beautiful. Previous years, The Punisher, The Real Wounder with two E's in real. That was good. Pablo Escobot and The Salty Specimen. So text boat to 3483, name that sucker, and it could be all yours. That's thanks to Finchaser Boats designed by Fisherman for Fisherman. The Hauraki Big Show with Jace, Mike, and Kesey.

44:10Tune in weekdays at 4 on Radio Hauraki.

44:13Keyzie:Royal blood there on the Radio Hauraki Big Show this Wednesday evening. Let's give out some advice.

44:22Keyzie:MeetPattyNib69

44:26Get in touch with the feelers. It's a real email address. MeetPattyNib69 at gmail.com. Get in touch. If we read out your question on the show, you get a$50 re-burger voucher. Unless we've already read it before. All right?

44:41Keyzie:Not necessarily the same one, but you've sent in a different one. And you've had a voucher already. We're not going to send you another one. We're on to you.

44:47Jase:Continue sending in your question though Oh we love questions And we're always happy to give you advice This one comes from Anonymous G'day fellas I have a ginger cat that is my best friend Loser A tabby He's gone completely blind Over the space of a few months Oh Woody J We get by using a pseudo Echo location Although he's an old boy now and I fear he's losing his hearing as well, which will render him about as useless as a bra at one of Pugs' boozy parties. I know Jace and, in particular, his wife loves Jizz, your cat, Jace. So maybe he could ask her about when to call it quits on my cat's increasingly debilitating state.

45:36Debilitating.

45:37Keyzie:Debilitating. Debilitating state. Interesting, actually, because my neighbour has a blind dog. Oh. and we were chatting to him the other day and we said to him, because he's got a couple of little fells there. Dogs? Yes. We said to him, oh, you should speak to our daughter if you want our daughter to take your dogs for a walk. And he said, oh, one of them's blind. So he tends to fall over and walk on, fall off, you know, fall off things and stuff. It's a bit of a mission. And it was like, oh, you know, it's that diminishing. You know, it's like when you see a dog with, on a trolley. Yes. And I just go, come on.

46:17Keyzie:Lucky bastard. Come on now. No, I saw a dog on a trolley the other day and it was running along, looked very young, and I was like, because of that trolley, he's got another good, you know, seven or eight years. Come on, man. No, come on, man. I watched a video the other day of one with a pig and I was like, just... A pig on a trolley? Yeah, a pig on a trolley. Oh, yeah, yeah, right. Come on, man. Look. Pig on a spit? Yeah. There comes a time it's diminishing returns. I mean, And are you keeping the animal for your own pleasure or for their pleasure? Or are you both hating it? Are you both hating it?

46:49The dog's probably hating it too. Yeah.

46:50Keyzie:Well, the cat in this case. Oh, it's a cat. The ginger cat. Sorry, Mogey. It's a ginger cat. It's sounding like it's going deaf.

46:56Jase:Look, it's blind, it's deaf, and it's ginger. I mean, that's no kind of life. Yeah, I mean, exactly. I mean, I don't think it, I feel like that's cat racist. Chuck it in the skit. It's over. The cat? Yeah. it's a shocking bastard well there you go it's a shocking bastard throw it in the skip if anyone else ever needs advice meet pattynips69atjubel.com you'll get a$50 re-burger voucher and it's 100 % anonymous The Hauraki Big Show with Jace, Mike and Keezy tune in weekdays at 4 on Radio Hauraki

47:40Keyzie:There you go, you mad bastards. That's the big show done and dusted this Wednesday night. We had a big poll today, Keezy. We did. Having coffee with your ex, yes or no? That's right. You can vote on that up at the Horeki Big Show Instagram story predictions. I'd say no. 75? 75%. I'm going to go 70. 70 % say no. The result is 85 % of people said no. Okay. Don't go have coffee with your ex. Yeah, it's generally looked upon unfavourably, I think. I think it's just better to steer clear. Yes. There's seven, eight billion people to go have coffee with. Why go have coffee with your ex? Yeah. Go have a coffee with Mogey.

48:23Jase:Yeah, I'll have a coffee with you. Really? Yeah, man. I love coffee. Hey. I feel like he's not actually going to, though. What's that, Chase?

48:32Keyzie:What's the podcast outro clip today? The podcast outro was about Mogey and his absolute mozza of an art. Oh, yeah, that's right.

48:39Jase:That's the kind of shocking life he's running. Yeah, so here's a wee clip. Be present in the moment, Moggy. Do some work on your laptop. Do some work. Thank you, Keezy. I'll do that.

48:50Keyzie:Just focus on what? Oh, f***ing, look at that. One thing at a time. Focus on f***ing hell. Look at that.

48:58Jase:That was 100 % genuine. That was an all-timer.

49:01Keyzie:It was. It was raining.

49:03Jase:It was raining really hard. Jase was blown away by the rain. But like right in the middle of telling Mogi just to focus on one thing Yeah

49:12Keyzie:Now listen I hope your food situation improves Mogi Yeah mate Because I know what you like when you're hungers Oh I'm a shock and buzzer I start forgetting things Yeah I know Keezy what are you having for tea? Well my wife's just texting me saying she's got a lot of work on and she's working late tonight Honestly man

49:29Jase:Far out We're going to have to talk about this I don't know if she knows about this reputation she's got on the show of like always having stuff on in the evenings. Yes. But I know she's been very busy at work and she said, I'll only be an hour or two late.

49:42Keyzie:Yeah. That doesn't answer my question. So to be honest, she's at work right now. I'm going to get home, make a chicken thigh couscous roast veggie tray bake. Really? Yeah. With like a Moroccan sort of paste stuff.

49:55Jase:Probably raisins and shit. Yeah, I don't know about the raisins, but I'll put spinach through it and it's what wheat with a bit of yogurt.

50:01Keyzie:Okay, I'm pretty happy with that. Okay, cool. That's fine. Enjoy your soup. Yeah, my chicken and silverbeet noodle soup. Sounds yummy, Jase, man. Yeah, well, I'll give you a full debrief tomorrow. Oh, soup debrief. Go and check out the Instagram. Go and check out the podcast. Till tomorrow. See you later. Bye. Boom.

50:35Thank you.