FULL SHOW: Buy High, Sell Low

8:12Mike Minogue:It was some breaking news. Mogi announced, okay, here's what we're going to do. Mogi, I'm going to read out the transcript of our group chat. Okay. Okay. Mike Minogue comments at 1.47pm today. Yeah. Breaking news, Mogi has got another kid on the way. The irony isn't lost on him. I respond straight away, really, question mark, double exclamation mark? and you say, apparently, full stop. And I say, holy F, brother, congrats, XX. Yeah. And then you do an emoji of a face melting and then say, bit less sleep for old Mogi. And then everyone in the group congratulates you, congratulates your family. And then you come on air and you say, you're having another child.

8:58Mike Minogue:Jase didn't.

8:58Keyzie:I didn't, thank you.

8:59Mike Minogue:Yeah, but that's because you never congratulate people on anything like that. So honestly, that wasn't out of character. I was like, of course, Jase probably just doesn't care.

9:05Keyzie:Hey, you know how stoked I am about the upcoming birth of little Keezy.

9:10Mike Minogue:Hang on, can we just keep it focused on this imaginary child before Marwan, please? So you then go on air and say that you're having another kid because your daughter told you that you're adopting, but then when you talked to your wife about it, she didn't know what she was talking about. No. So are you adopting a child? Well, according to my six-year-old, yeah. But according to you, no, not that you've heard. Not according to, well, my wife doesn't know. Well, she's saying she doesn't know anything about it, but she does like surprises. So as I said, I don't know who to believe. Right. Okay.

9:38Keyzie:Well, I just, you know. But, hey, look, if true, big news. Huge if true. Yeah, that is massive news, and congrats.

9:45Mike Minogue:Yeah, if true, you can say that about anything. What about this text here? This is exactly it. Is Mogi's Mrs. Sprogged up or WTF is happening? Well, she better not be. Well, exactly. Well, I'm shooting blanks. Well, we don't know. I know you are, Matt. Well, how could she be pregnant if I'm shooting blanks? I don't know. I thought it was a miracle. but that's why I was so excited. I was like, oh, congrats. Because I know you're shooting blanks. Congrats. I'm dead down there, Keezy. No, I know. I know you are, man. And we're not joking right now. You are. Like, it is. Dead as a dodo. Absolutely just rotten on the vine.

10:30Mike Minogue:Some more texts here on 3483 I don't know why you've got to kick me while I'm down I'm not kicking you, I'm just confused man Because you keep lying to me about stuff

10:37Keyzie:Well you know it's an amazing story Because on one hand there's great joy And on the other hand there's sadness There is

10:45Mike Minogue:There's not great joy, the whole thing's bullshit I don't understand People are just texting through asking Like, congrats, Smokey. Congratulations. Oh, my God, that's amazing. Can you name it? Bird shit, Chris. Are you going to adopt Keezy's baby? I'm not having a baby. Oh, God. I'm so confused. Well, you know who's the most heard out of all of this? Who? Pugsar. Why is that? He's filthy. Because he believed you. Yeah. But I tell you what, I mean, the whole Big Show family just grows and grows.

11:17Keyzie:No, it doesn't.

11:17Mike Minogue:It's not happening. The Hauraki Big Show with Jace, Mike and Kesey. Tune in weekdays at four on Radio Hauraki.

11:25Keyzie:Soundgarden there on the Radio Hauraki Big Show this Wednesday afternoon. The time is 4.37. And as you know, fellas, last night was my wife's opening night of her play.

11:36Mike Minogue:Yeah.

11:37Keyzie:Exciting times. I was actually very nervous. I was more nervous for her than I would be for myself doing a play. Really? Yeah, I think so.

11:48Mike Minogue:Do you reckon your nerves could have thrown her off in any way? No. I think I'd be more nervous for myself. Right, okay.

11:54Keyzie:Not because I thought she'd do a terrible job, but because I just wanted her to do well. Also, you've got no control. I've got no control over it. Yes, that's true.

12:03Mike Minogue:Yeah, and you always need control. I've noticed that about you. But for context, too, for the audience, your wife is a very experienced actress, and she's been acting for a long time, and this was her first play back after quite a while, right? A long time. How long is the gap between plays?

12:16Keyzie:Oh, jeez, probably 10 years at least. Yeah, there you go.

12:21Mike Minogue:There was nothing to be nervous about because she is a very experienced, very good actor.

12:25Keyzie:Well, yes, indeed. But I mean, you know, I'm a catastrophiser.

12:29Mike Minogue:Yeah.

12:29Keyzie:And so I always think of the worst case scenario in any situation, Kesey.

12:34Mike Minogue:So in your brain, was she going out there and straightaway forgetting all of her lines?

12:37Keyzie:Something like that, yeah. Or her husband sort of walked out midway through the first act because he was desperate to go to the toilet, it didn't go for a wee before the play started? That may have happened. Yeah. But no, look, it was great, and she did a fantastic job, and I was very proud of her. Did you cry? No.

12:58Mike Minogue:I'm going to go see it this Friday. And Pugs, are you coming? I think I'd like to, yeah. I've got to have you on to the missus, but I'd like to. And Ogi as well. So we will do a review of the play on Monday. Yes. Very excited. Very excited. Anything else happen, Jase?

13:08Keyzie:Any adventures? Yes, and then we, of course, the play ended. Look, one of the criticisms I had. Were you just about to say eventually? It went a bit long. It went a bit long.

13:19Mike Minogue:Too much of your wife?

13:21Keyzie:No, I can't get too much of my wife, Kesey. You can't get enough of her. I can't get enough, man. And there was an interval, and I'm not a big fan of intervals. How long? You have to have sort of painful chit-chat with people. Oh, 15 minutes? Oh, that's eight. It's like nothing. Maybe even 20 even. Oh, wow. Jeez. But anyway, and then we had this sort of after-show stuff, I thought, oh, you were great. Oh, good stuff. And dear, you know, sort of a kiss on the cheek and chatting to all the people. People mobbing me. And actually, I had to do a little plug for the show afterwards on Sosh Med for them.

13:58Keyzie:They asked me to do that, which I was happy to do. So anyway, I parked down by the Titarangi Library, which I parked in many, many times before. And by this stage, it was quarter to 11. And so I said goodbye to my wife because I came separately from her. And I went down to the car, got in the car, was driving off. And as I got to the exit, I noticed there were like three or four cars ahead of me. And I was like, hang on. Hold up. Hang about. What the f*** is going on here? And then I saw a woman get out of her car and just gesticulate violently. She was unhappy. So I got out of my... No, she wasn't doing that, Moggy.

14:40Keyzie:She got out of her car, I got out of my car, and we walked over, and there was a gate across the entrance. A gate that was not visible when you went in. There were no signs, apart from I noticed today when I went there to pick my car up, that there was a small sign in the corner of the car park. All signs are small for you, though. Yeah, that's fair. Yeah. But this woman had been living in Titarangi for 40 years. Oh, you got the rundown. And she said, I park here all the time. This has never happened to me. So then she was effing and jeffing, and she was very funny. It was one of the funniest monologues I've ever seen on a phone.

15:17Keyzie:And she was also a lawyer. She was like, I am going to sue the ass off Len Brown. Oh, really? I'm getting stuck in a library. But then it was one of those classic scenarios of no one answering the phone.

15:32Mike Minogue:Yes. Because it's more like 10.30 p.m.

15:34Keyzie:If you're trapped in this situation, or if you're locked in, you call us on this number. Oh, really? No one answers. I wouldn't answer either. No one answers. And so she's effing and jeffing. There's about three or four people behind me effing. There's about seven people locked in there. Were you effing and jeffing? I was actually surprisingly chill because there was so much effing and jeffing going on around me, it could have sort of sucked it out of myself.

15:58Mike Minogue:So they sucked all the effing and jeffing at you?

16:00Keyzie:They sucked all the effing. I was literally laughing at this woman. She was brilliant. She was just going off. And then she eventually got a hold of someone, and they said, oh, you've just got to back off a bit, and it'll automatically open. Ah. And so we all backed off, and it was like, well, that's not automatically going to open. And then we looked underneath it, and there was a padlock on it. So it was padlocked. And she was on the phone going, it didn't open. It's got an effing buddy padlock on it. And they're like, oh, is it? Oh, is it? So in the end, I just went, bugger this. And I texted my wife and went home with her, fellas.

16:38Keyzie:Yeah. At about 20 past 11. I was filthy. Ruined my evening. Yeah. I hope you were effing in Jeff and in the car on the way home with your wife and ruined the evening for her, did you? Yeah, totally, man. That's all I talked about.

16:53Mike Minogue:What book did you get out? From the library. Kamasutra.

17:00Keyzie:I already know all those ones, Mogi.

17:03Mike Minogue:Parking for dummies.

17:08Keyzie:Here's White Stripes.

17:10Mike Minogue:The Hauraki Big Show. Weekdays from four on Radio Hauraki.

17:15Keyzie:Tom Petty there on the Radio Hauraki Big Show. This Wednesday afternoon, the time is 4.49. Let's talk TV. What's on the telly with Mike Minogue?

17:30Keyzie:Yes. You can see how it starts. Yeah, I don't see it. Last night I watched Murder in Monaco on Netflix. It's a documentary.

17:42Mike Minogue:I've seen that. Have you seen that? The trailers for it. Ah, yeah, it's pretty good. It's a banking billionaire scumbag worth billions of dollars there in there. There's a fire in his apartment, which is only a five-story high apartment in Monaco, right? So you don't have to pay any tax. Scumbag. So he's got the penthouse apartment in this joint. Five-story building, 23-story underground car park. Wow. Unbelievable. Why are they doing that? We didn't get into it because they were talking about the murder. That doesn't make any sense. I thought that was very interesting. Very interesting indeed.

18:20It should be the other way around. Am I right? You know what I mean?

18:25Keyzie:Well, no, then you wouldn't have any car space. No, but how is five floors worth of people? I can only think that each of them are collectors of cars. Yes, and they're multi-billionaires, Keezy, so they've probably got about six cars each. What can I say?

18:39Mike Minogue:Dog squad money. Dog squad money. Yeah, sure. Anyway, this fella, there's intruders. He goes into his safe room, his panic room. There's a fire. The fire department is called. It takes them three hours. They stand outside for three hours while the building's on fire before they decide to go in. It is, and then it all gets pinned on a male nurse that is there, because the guy is quite elderly. And there's lots of twists and turns, because maybe it was the wife that's planned the whole thing. Now, the wife, this is her fourth marriage, and her second husband, also a billionaire, he died in suspicious circumstances when it was ruled that he died of a suicide after he shot himself.

19:26That sounds fine, except that he shot himself in the chest twice.

19:32Mike Minogue:Yeah, right, okay. But the weird thing about her is why does she need to then shack up with another billionaire if she's just inherited lots of money from a billionaire? This may come as a shock to you, man, but women need love too. No, no, it's not about the love. It's just like if she was intentionally murdering this guy, you know what I mean? She's already just done it with another one. Well, this is all part of the mystery. Anyway, we get to the end of it, and there is another pretty huge twist in the tale. It's really great because it's in Monaco. It's a stunning place. There's Russian mafia.

20:04There's heaps of cash. There's old weird-looking women that have had too much plastic surgery. I give it three and a half buzies. Out of five. Out of a possible five on Netflix, it's called Murder in Monaco.

20:17Keyzie:And the male nurse is a bit of a dodgy character too. He's a weird looking human. Have you seen it? Yes. He is a weird looking dude. And immediately you think to yourself, he did it. And then a whole bunch of other stuff comes out and you're like, he didn't do it. He's a Green Beret Kesey. He's a mad bastard. Yeah, man. Well, obviously, fellas, I didn't watch TV last night. I was watching my wife. How many buzzies? Five. Nice. play, obviously.

20:44Mike Minogue:Last night, I watched the first half. My wife doesn't have five buzzies, Keezy. No, I know. How do you know? Trust me. Because no human has five buzzies, Jase. Do you know that? Yes. Well, I'm very broadly speaking, I don't think. Based on your experiences. Based on my experiences.

21:02Keyzie:I want you to Google it after this segment. What? I want you to Google. Has anyone ever had five buzzies?

21:07Mike Minogue:Google it. I'm not going to gurgle it. Oh, Google What was I saying? Something about something. Yeah, don't worry about it. I'll tell you about it tomorrow.

21:20Mike Minogue:The Hodaki Big Show with Jace, Mike and Keezy. Tune in weekdays at four on Radio Hodaki.

21:26Keyzie:Welcome back, you massive backbones. Hope your hump day's going off. You are, in fact, listening to The Big Show, brought to you by Toledo's.

21:33Mike Minogue:From work days to workouts, Toledo's natural electrolyte drink keeps you balanced, refreshed and ready to go. sucking it hard gulp gulp douche douche now you're drinking

21:47that's it I don't think it works without I think all of those have to be in there

21:51Mike Minogue:so I think the way to do it is that all three of us just yell something afterwards gulp gulp douche douche is the winner 100 % yeah

22:02Mike Minogue:just a reminder fellas if you want to wrap your lips around a delicious Toledo's drink Fresh Choice nationwide They're also rolling them out in various new worlds and pack and saves across the country. We're talking Devonport, Kumu, Palmerston North, Papakura, Pukekoi, Tekau Fata, Waiuku, and then Pack and Save, Mill Street, Hamilton, New Plymouth, and Pukekoi. Or you can get them online, toledos.co.nz. That's the way to go. Get them delivered to your door. To-livered? To-livered. To-livered. To-livered. There we go. Is that something as well, is it? Done and dusted.

22:30Keyzie:It feels like it's nothing. Yeah, that really works for me, that one, actually. I'm going to give that eight pussies out of ten. To-livered. Now, Keezy, what have we got coming up next? Because I'm still undecided on this. Are we talking Mogi's car or are we talking radio awards? I think we should get into these radio awards.

22:49Mike Minogue:Yeah, well, because I just want clarity around what you guys submitted. Yes. I don't think it's any of your business, to be honest, but... Well, I mean, I'm part of the show. Well, just leave it to the big guns, Keezy. What do you mean the big guns? There are no big and little guns.

23:00Keyzie:You know, we've got the experience. We know what the judge is like, you know. Really? Right, okay. You know, we'll look after you, mate.

23:09Mike Minogue:Don't worry about it. How many radio awards have you won? I know the answer. The answer's zero. It's quite unbelievable, really, isn't it? It's bullshit is what it is. Yeah, so we'll go through what we put forward this year because I just want to make sure we're entering the right categories and we're doing the right stuff.

23:25Keyzie:But I've got an honorary doctorate in radio. It's not a doctorate. It's a diploma. You've got a diploma once you've learned how to turn it on. So call me Dr. Hoyt, please. No. In the meantime, here's Kings of Leon.

23:37Mike Minogue:The Hauraki Big Show with Jace, Mike and Kesey. Tune in weekdays at four on Radio Hauraki.

23:43Keyzie:Yes, indeed. Alison Chains here on the Radio Hauraki Big Show this Wednesday afternoon. The time is 5.13 and we need a show meeting. Show meeting! Show meeting! Show me the meeting! Show meeting is now in progress.

24:00Mike Minogue:I appreciate you guys coming to this meeting. just RE, but a big show admin involving the Radio Awards. Now, the Radio Awards come up later in the year, but they were all due last week. Yes. You guys said that you would take on the sort of the admin and the running of the actual submissions when it comes to what we are entering. Yeah, that's right. As you pointed out earlier, Kezi, we've never won a Radio Award, and Jason and I were having a chat at our weekly meeting and decided it was probably because we haven't been in charge of what actually goes in. Right, okay. We haven't had our fingerprints on the quality control of those submissions.

24:40Keyzie:Absolutely. In all fairness to Pugson, I mean, he works his arse off, but he, you know. He doesn't get it. He sometimes can be a little, just a bit skewered, that's all. Just a bit, you know. PC gone mad. Yeah, a bit PC. Gone mad. What are you talking about?

25:01Mike Minogue:Right, okay. Well, that's fine. And to be honest, I think it's great that you guys are taking more of an interest in our submissions. It's great. I just want to know what did we enter. For example, best segment. That's a pretty hotly contested one. Did we enter that? We did. We did. That one was what's on the T with me dinner with me Keezy. And that one, that's the one where people call in or text in, sorry, with what they're having for dinner. you read them out off the text machine and then Jase and I bag it. And to be honest with you, Kesey, I'm quietly confident on that one. Because it used to be...

25:40What's for tea? What's for tea, New Zealand, with me, Kesey. That's what we should have entered because that makes more sense. No, but we've entered that before and it got nowhere. Have we? Didn't even get a finalist. No, so we've sort of played with the name of it over the last five and a half years, can you believe it? And yeah, we think we're on to a winner. You can't enter everything, Kesey Okay What's on the tea with me, dinner with me, Kesey

26:04Mike Minogue:That just doesn't make any sense though Okay, who cares, that's great Just for the record, I would have entered Meet Paddy Nip 69 because it's a great segment, we've got heaps of advice and it's got a cool sing song See that's the thing, so that just reinforces that we were in the right to take Exactly, yes Best Sting Now Best Sting is a big one If you don't know what a sting is For example This is a sting Not a very good one but yes Because that was actually the one I was going to enter

26:37Keyzie:Again Pugs Just a little bit skewer on that one But then you've got Deasy here that wants to enter that one That's great This is the one that we entered here Jizz Very very good Nailed it It's literally just the word jizz. No, but it sounds like it's in a huge auditorium or something. It gives a scale and size. Jizz. See, it's echoing. Like in a canyon.

27:05Mike Minogue:You can see how other radio stations and shows are putting forward all these really elaborate ones and all we're putting forward is jizz. Simplicity

27:13Keyzie:is key, Keezy.

27:15Mike Minogue:But what do you mean? The name of my last segment is What's on the Dinner With Me Tea With Me Keezy. Yeah. That's not simple. But that's got a ring to it. Did we at least enter the Pugs and producer of the year. He's got a long and fruitful career in front of him. I just. Right, so he didn't even enter him. It's just. Are you saying that you want to enter him, Keezy? Yes. I mean, if you want to enter Pugs. I want to enter Pugs. You want to enter Pugs. Into the radio. That's between you and Pugs, all right? No. Did we, okay, did we go for best feel good moment? Yes, we did. That was easy. Okay, well, what the hell did we enter for that?

27:55Keyzie:Well, isn't it obvious?

27:57Mike Minogue:What?

27:57Keyzie:Your baby announcement. I'm not having a baby.

28:00Mike Minogue:The Hauraki Big Show, weekdays from four on Radio Hauraki.

28:05Keyzie:Bit of bush for your Wednesday afternoon. Now, Mogi's had a bit of a car nightmare. Mogi, why don't you reinform the audience of your dilemma thus far? That's a great idea, Jase. Yeah, so we've got a Toyota Aqua. Everybody loves them.

28:22Mike Minogue:Hatchback. Most stolen car in the whole country for a reason. Just great, great car. We'd had it for about five minutes when the battery shat itself. So we had to do an insurance job, get a new battery. The insurance company would only give us a refurbished battery instead of a new one. We wanted a new one, obviously. They just gave us an old one. Yes. Or a refurbished one. And that had a 12-month warranty on it. And then the battery buggered out after 13 months. months so we took the insurance company to small claims court and while we're going through that process we parked the car up outside a mate's place who then promptly went away to work on a film for five months um and my wife then a couple of weeks ago last week went to get something out of the car and found it was gone she called me and said the car's gone I said well hopefully it's stolen but it might have been towed um so she looked into it a little bit further and it It turns out that because the car had been sitting there for as long as it had, Auckland Transport sold it.

29:22Yes. And kept all the money.

29:25Keyzie:Unbelievable. I've never heard of this. No, neither have I. Neither have I. It's bullshit. So my question is, why didn't they email us? Yeah. Why didn't you?

29:34Mike Minogue:See, that seems crazy because they'd have all your details. They'd have your registration. They'd have your full name. Yes. You know, like your details would be in the system. Thank you, Keezer. Yeah. Right. Well, we've got some bit more information has come through on this one. So as it turns out, parking warden attended the vehicle, issued infringements for expired registration and warrant of fitness and applied tyre chalk marks. So that's probably a fine of about$400. It is. That we're looking at there. So that was on the 20th of October last year. A month later, the abandoned vehicle investigator visited the vehicle and applied yellow notices to both the front and rear of the vehicle.

30:10Mike Minogue:Right. Those are to tell you to get in touch and just make sure, let them know that, in fact, it hasn't been abandoned. Of course, we didn't know that those had been abandoned. I mean, how are we meant to know? Because your mate's away. He's away. So he would have spotted it otherwise. He would have spotted it, but he didn't spot it because he wasn't there. Then he comes back another month later and finds that the vehicle's still in the same location with no change to its registration status. Well, how could it if we didn't know? Yeah. We're having an argument with an insurance company. We can't get a warrant or a registration until we've sorted that out.

30:37So then they tow it. Then they run an ad. So the best way to get in touch with people is to run an ad in the New Zealand Herald because that's how you find these things out. The vehicle was advertised in the New Zealand Herald in an attempt to contact the owner.

30:55Mike Minogue:Really? Is that how you do it? So there was an ad in the Herald? Yeah, there was an ad in the Herald. With old Mogie's broken aqua. That is so funny. So it was famous. Now, they also said they sent a couple of letters to our address to let us know. Right, okay, good. But we'd moved. So how are we supposed to know about that? So you didn't change your address? Keezy. You didn't put the mail forwarding on? Keezy. What? Whose side are you on, man? Yeah, sorry, man. Sorry. Okay. It's just starting to get a clear picture of who's at fault here is all. Then on the 16th of January, after being held in storage for 35 days, excluding public holidays, the vehicle was sold to an approved vendor, dismantled it for parts, got$1 ,170 for it.

31:40Total cost incurred for storing the vehicle and for the advertising in the New Zealand Herald.

31:47Mike Minogue:Which is so random. Came to$1 ,920.47, leaving Auckland Transport at a loss of$160.47. So there's a small victory there. Yeah, true. So far out. What a palaver. It is a palaver. I will say, look, should my wife, and we're not going to point the finger of blame at anyone. Should my wife have changed the address for the vehicle? Sure. Well, shouldn't you have done that as well? I mean, why is it your wife? That's a good point too, but just as an example. Should my wife have changed the address? Sure. That's easy to say. But wouldn't it also have been easy to use the email address attached rather than run an ad in the New Zealand Herald for two days, fellas?

32:35Yes. So I'm calling on Mayor Leonard Brown to come down here into the studio and look me in the eye and tell me that he thinks this is fair because apparently this guy, Leonard, is a man of the people.

32:51Mike Minogue:Leonard? What's his name? Len. Len, yeah. Is a man of the people. And if he thinks this is fair and not bureaucratic nonsense, I'd like to hear it from the man himself. So anybody out there that knows Leonard, you tell him. Oh, actually, isn't his name Wayne? Wait His name is Wayne Brown Is it Wayne? Who's Len Brown? He used to be Amir a while ago Oh he's the guy that had That Nazi Fatua room Nazi Fatua room So I'd like to get Wayne down here For a chit chat To be honest I'd be open to having a chat with Leonard as well Yeah get Len down here too An absolute disgrace A man's car sold out from under him In this day and age I mean it still seems like You should have put the mail forwarding on I know well I'll tell you man It's PC gone mad It's not PC gone mad Up next, Liam Dan, by the way, to chat stocks and Kiwi sales.

33:39Mike Minogue:The Hauraki Big Show, weekdays from four on Radio Hauraki.

33:43Keyzie:Yes, indeed. Cake there on the Radio Hauraki Big Show this Wednesday afternoon. We've got Liam Dan, editor at large, business editor at large for the New Zealand Herald. And the reason we've got you in, Liam, is because I'm concerned about the markets at the moment.

33:59Mike Minogue:Yeah, well, there's good reason to be concerned.

34:01Keyzie:It's a worrying time. Yeah, it's a very volatile time.

34:07Mike Minogue:It is. And what's interesting about this is because my wife, and I'm sure a lot of our listeners are the same. My wife.

34:15Mike Minogue:Sorry, Liam. She has a Sharesies account. And every week she puts a little bit of money aside and then puts into Sharesies and is like growing a little nest egg there, which is great. And her attitude towards everything that's happening at the moment is it's a long play anyway. This is what shares are. You hold on to them for a long time. Whereas Jase, you've got a shares account with billions of dollars in it, by the sounds of it.

34:36Keyzie:Well, I wouldn't go so far as to say billions. Hundreds of thousands, Liam. So are you trading?

34:41Mike Minogue:Are you sort of wheeling and dealing? Have you heard of sharesies, Liam? Yeah. Yeah, I'm doing sharesies. Yeah, so he's doing sharesies. But while my wife is being very like, no, it's all about long term, so don't panic. Jase is very much freaking out. Yeah, don't look at your Kiwi saver, maybe, right now. No. What's that?

34:57Keyzie:Hey. That's sharesies, but they take, yeah, anyway. Well, the thing is with me, I'm what you'd call a bit of a rogue investor. You know, I like your high return, your high risk type scenario. For example, I invested in a company, Dillys, Dongs and Thongs.

35:18Mike Minogue:How much did you put into that?

35:20Keyzie:It was just a small investment. It was about 100K. It's more sweat equity as well. Yeah, and it was very volatile. 100K, and that was about two weeks ago. I've already lost 50. Well, I mean, the plastics industry is very exposed to the price of oil. Well, because of the petroleum. Yeah. Yes. And then the other issue, of course, you get, Jase, is you see the sort of the events that are happening in the Middle East and some can see them as a – you know, some see it as a humanitarian crisis, but others could see it as an opportunity. Jase saw it as an opportunity and put$40 ,000 into landmines. Yeah.

35:57But, of course, they haven't been using those. So just going sideways on the landmines?

36:02Mike Minogue:Yeah.

36:03Keyzie:Yeah. Well, I tossed up between landmines and sea mines, and I went land. Yes. That's the problem. Then it was like$40 ,000 on that, and then that dropped to$10 ,000. If you went to sea, you would have made a fortune. I've also invested in another company, because I'm outside the box, Magic Merkins. And because I thought, you know, again, a kind of rogue industry. What's a merkin? A merkin's like a fake pubic hair.

36:30Mike Minogue:Oh, like a wig for your pubes? Yeah, for your pubes. It's like a hair hat.

36:34Keyzie:Yeah, it's like a hair hat for your genitals. Right, okay. I mean, you don't put it on your genitals, Keezy. Well, you do this for the top. A top. Like a hat. Yeah, like a hat. Yeah, right, okay. Shouldn't that be recession-proof? Well, you would think so, Liam. But in all honesty, and on a serious note for a second, you know, I've seen, and I've got a very small investment in sharesies, But I have seen a massive drop in the value of shares. Is it a situation now where I just sell up, just go get out of there before it all comes tumbling down? I think Kesey's wife's got it right.

37:10Mike Minogue:I mean, you know, don't panic is good. That's a good rule almost for anything, right? There's never really a good reason to panic. You can be concerned and you can worry. but the big variable is nobody knows how long Mr Trump is going to want to keep this war going and that's what's spooking people.

37:31Keyzie:Markets don't like uncertainty, Liam. No, nobody does really. We always say that in business. I thrive on uncertainty actually. We'll hold it there and we'll come back.

37:41Mike Minogue:The Hauraki Big Show with Jace, Mike and Kesey. Tune in weekdays at four on Radio Hauraki.

37:47Keyzie:The Strokes there on the radio. Hauraki Big Show this Wednesday evening. We've got Liam Dan, business editor at large from the New Zealand Herald, because, you know, it's a very volatile time in the world at the moment, particularly the financial markets. And we were just talking off air before Liam. Ankezi was saying that his wife, she's very particular. She does her research. She looks into every company that she invests in. Whereas I just go off my guts, my instinct. Yeah, yeah, just gut feel. Yeah, a gut feel. A vibe. The vibe, if you will.

38:21Mike Minogue:Well, look, this is a good point just to say that it's illegal for me to give financial advice here. I'm not going to not endorse that. Right, okay. But if the FMA, Financial Markets Authority, is listening, you could be in trouble. Talk to your registered financial advisor. We should say that somewhere, right? Because people will take this to heart. Well, Jace's trick is with his gut. Whatever his gut says, he does the opposite. because he knows his gut can't be trusted. His gut is well known as being a total idiot.

38:54Keyzie:Well, particularly, Liam, if I've just had some spicy dumplings, I'm not trusting the gut at any point. So is that true then? You can't actually give advice in your position.

39:09Mike Minogue:I can do analysis and commentary, but because they don't want me spruiking some stock and then going in the market or trading off the bat, back of it or something like that. So I don't really trade stocks. I'm, you know, pretty conservative. Right, okay. Sort of missionary meat and two potatoes sort of style. Yeah, I guess that's me. When I think of Liam Dan, that's what I think of. Liam, while we've got you here, do you think in uncertain times like this, it's a good time to look into alternative investment areas? For example, instead of your share markets and your real estate, et cetera, et et cetera, buying something that could be collectible one day that is in short supply.

39:52Mike Minogue:Like, for example, I know someone who just spent over$1 ,000 on a limited edition Lego set. Yeah, that's smart. You know what I mean? Things like that. Have you heard much about that area of investing? I've got a mate who does that. Yeah, look, I mean, that stuff always seems to go up, doesn't it? I mean, that stuff's tied to the collapse of everything, right? So as long as everything doesn't go all Mad Max, Yeah. Then you're going to have people who collect sneakers and Lego and that. That's probably all pretty good. What about non-fungible tokens? Also known as NFTs. Oh, those. Those are good, man.

40:27Mike Minogue:Did any of you guys get those cartoon monkeys? I spent about$400 ,000 on one of those bastards, and now it's worth eight cents. It'll go back, though.

40:35Keyzie:Oh, it'll come back. Don't worry about that. Jake Paul wants it. What about animal pelt? Well, that's part of the merkin. Well, certainly. I tell you what, you guys may chuckle and laugh at that, but the old Merkin industry and the pelt industry, your fake hairs, your animal hairs, they're going off. And you'll always have fake hair and animal hair in the world, won't you?

40:59Mike Minogue:100%, especially for old Mogey. He wears a hair hat. I'll wear a hair hat. He does. It's not tied to the petroleum industry. That's where we're seeing a lot of volatility. So a lot of petrol and Legos, plastic, this may be an issue, but if you've already bought it, it's going on. Yeah, that's right. Cool, I just want to let everyone know that I'm the guy who... But you're not allowed to play with it. You know that, right? No, that's... It's got to stay in the box. I genuinely did buy, three weeks ago, a limited edition Pokemon Lego set. For a thousand bucks. For a thousand bucks. Okay, well, that's good to know.

41:26Mike Minogue:There's nothing cooler than a dad with a Lego collection that the kids aren't allowed to touch.

41:31Keyzie:Yeah, allowed to play with. Sadly, Keezy's shooting blanks. But I agree that the Lego set is an incredible investment because we are going to be getting our money's worth out of that over the next 12 months on this show. That is really good to learn. Appreciate that, brother. Hey, Liam Dan, business editor at large for the New Zealand Herald. Thanks for your advice, mate. Yeah, good luck. I'm going to sell up.

41:56Mike Minogue:The Hauraki Big Show with Jase, Mike and Keezy. Tune in weekdays at four on Radio Hauraki.

42:02Keyzie:Welcome back, you massive backbones. Hope your Wednesday's going off. You're listening to The Big Show brought to you by Toledo's.

42:08Mike Minogue:Why pause your thirst? Defeat it with Toledo's. Drink it with your mouth. More like Yum-Lito's. Jase, you've got to do one as well.

42:19Keyzie:Now you're drinking. No, that's an old one. Come on, man. Are you into this or not? I've already nailed it. I mean, you two are the ones struggling. What do you mean? Those two attempts were pathetic.

42:32Mike Minogue:More like Yum-Lito's. I reckon that's great. What did you say? You can't even remember it was so pointless. I blacked out when I came to everyone was just loving it. You blacked out when you came to Hoody J was fuming.

42:47Keyzie:One out of ten buzies for both of those.

42:51Mike Minogue:Jase, see this is the problem. This is all stemmed from this whole come dine with me thing. Jase has got a taste for what it's like to give out terrible reviews. He's got the power. He's got the power and now he's tripping on it.

43:00Keyzie:It's a shock and bust. You're a shock and bust. I'm just taking the power back fellas.

43:04Mike Minogue:No you're not, you're getting carried away with it mate.

43:06Keyzie:Now, listen, I was going to tell a story about this lovely woman that I met in the supermarket. I thought that's what's coming up next. I've got a feeling you guys are going to take the absolute piss here.

43:17Mike Minogue:No, I want to hear about it. Not only do I want to hear it, I know that you've been talking to our boss, Toddy, about it. And he said it was an absolute gem. Did he say that? He told me that. He did. What are Jase's yarns? Far out. You've got to tell it, man. Jase, you have to tell this yarn. You simply must. So that's up next. I don't want no six out of ten yarn either. I want like a, yeah, this is, I'm excited. As long as it's some kind of hoity J, best in the world, eh, number one sort of a set-up. Yeah, or like a strange encounter with like a bit of a kooky person, you know. That's what I'm after.

43:55Or a combination of the two.

43:57Mike Minogue:Yeah. It's a nice shirt, by the way, man. Here's the red hot chili peppers. It's so gross. The Hauraki Big Show with Jace, Mike and Kesey. Tune in weekdays at four on Radio Hauraki.

44:10Keyzie:Stereophonics here on the Radio Hauraki Big Show this Wednesday evening. The time is 12 minutes past six o 'clock. Fellas. Jeez. Pretty crazy thing happened to me in the supermarket the other day.

44:24Mike Minogue:Was it a strange encounter?

44:26Keyzie:It was a lovely encounter. Strange encounters of the hoity car.

44:35Keyzie:So I was in the supermarket and I bought some buns, some wipes. Not for me, for the bench. The buns? And a few other little bits and pieces that we needed, Keezy, around the place. Odds and sods? Odds and sods, Moogie. And anyway, I was going up, and in the CBD, it's a bit different at this supermarket. because there's no tellers. It's all self-serve. Oh, yeah. Because there's slightly more sophisticated kind of people in the CBD.

45:10Mike Minogue:Self-serving people like you, yeah.

45:12Keyzie:You know, where you just serve yourself.

45:14Mike Minogue:Yeah, 100%. I can see why you moved there.

45:17Keyzie:Anyway, I was in the self-service area. Serving yourself? Serving myself. When all of a sudden, out of the blue, I noticed the lady next to me, she knocked over her little carrier there and all her stuff fell on the ground. Pissed off her head. And so I, being the gentleman that I am, went over and said, oh, let me help you. And I was picking up all her stuff and putting it back in her little carrier there. Her basket. Her basket. And she said, oh, thank you, thank you. And then she looked up at me and she said to me, oh, you're a very handsome man.

46:09Then what happened?

46:10Keyzie:Is that the yarn? And I went, oh, thank you. That's very kind. So hang on. It's more than kind.

46:19Mike Minogue:What, she's just... So what you've done is you've taken up a radio break to tell us a story about someone saying you're handsome.

46:27Keyzie:Well, I just thought it was quite cute. What part of it's cute? You've said nothing about her. I don't know. She could be 10 or 1 ,000 years old. I've got no idea. Mid-80s. Right. Milky eyes. Well, that was when I noticed that it actually stood on her glasses while I was picking everything up.

46:47Mike Minogue:Right, okay. So she was looking at the silhouette of you. Thought you looked handsome.

46:52Keyzie:That's right.

46:53Mike Minogue:And then I thought... Oh, young man. Because she would have seen, oh, that's clearly a child based on what I can make out. So then I thought, oh, that's a cute story to tell my wife.

47:05Keyzie:Right. And she fired up. Oh, did she? She was like, does she go there all the time, did she? Yeah. And I was like, oh, I don't know. It's the first time I bumped into her. And she was like, well, I'm just going to hang out there. And you can come with me and tell me what she looks like. I'm going to smack the bee arch.

47:22Mike Minogue:Your wife's got beef with everyone, eh?

47:26Keyzie:So I thought that was a cute little story. You said you got home and you noticed your watch was missing. I don't own a watch, Mogi.

47:38Mike Minogue:That was a great story, Jase.

47:40Keyzie:Thanks, fellas.

47:43Mike Minogue:The Hauraki Big Show with Jase, Mike and Kesey. Tune in weekdays at four on Radio Hauraki.

47:50Keyzie:The Offspring there on the Radio Hauraki Big Show this Wednesday evening. Now listen up. Great news and big news for all you Bukba League fans out there. Magic Round is coming back May 15th, 16th, 17th. Man. And if you want to be a part of it, then you need to listen up right now. Yeah. Doosh, doosh.

48:12Mike Minogue:Doosh, doosh. Mogi.

48:15Keyzie:I told you he's broken. He snapped today.

48:18Mike Minogue:He is. We're heading back to Brisbane, man. Magic Round. It's every single team in the NRL playing at Suncorp Stadium over three days. It is a party. It is our third time going. I am fizzed up and I'm stoked. We're going with boystrip.co.nz, sports travel made easy. If your mates and you are hopeless at organising big trips, just book it through boystrip.co.nz. You'll be at the same functions and stuff as we are, the same seating area. So you'll be part of the trip. Yeah, man. The news is, however, tomorrow we will start... Mogi. We will start tomorrow putting people in the drawer to join us for free.

48:54Mike Minogue:In a drawer? Yeah, we're going to start putting people in a drawer. In like a drawer. No, mate, what's wrong with him?

49:03Keyzie:I told you, man, he snapped. He's broken.

49:07Mike Minogue:Tomorrow on the show, Q2 Calls will play. When you hear it, you call us 0800 Hauraki. You get yourself in the drawer to join us. Have you got a, what does the Q2 Calls sound like? I don't know. I don't have it yet.

49:18Keyzie:I think last year we had about 180 ,000 people ring up. In the drawer. Yeah, and it ended up in the drawer, yeah. That's right. They were in the drawer.

49:28Mike Minogue:I don't know if it was 180 ,000. It was 180 ,000. Where did you get that number? That's taken into account that there's you and a mate. So it was only 90 ,000. Still, I don't know if it was 90 ,000.

49:39Keyzie:I was definitely 90 ,000, Keezy.

49:41Mike Minogue:Where did you get that on the dot?

49:44Keyzie:No, 93 ,278. Who gave you that number? Just the marketing people. We don't have any marketing people.

49:51Mike Minogue:Bogsy, the CEO gave you that number. Bogsy told you how many people we got in the draw for Magic Round.

49:56Keyzie:Bogsy.

49:57Mike Minogue:You can't just say Bogsy back at me yet.

50:00Keyzie:If you want to be a CEO, look, now Pugs is broken in Studio B. He's got his head in his hands. He has.

50:08Mike Minogue:16 NRL teams, three days, Suncorp Stadium. It is every rugby league fan's ultimate long weekend.

50:16Keyzie:Jase, you'll love it, don't you, mate? Oh, hell yeah. The only bad news is, for me, is I was going to do a sugar and spice gig down in Wally on the 17th for the comedy festival. I can't do that anymore.

50:28Mike Minogue:Oh, those 15 people will be gutted. Oh, they were at the town hall, Keezy. Is that big? Not really. I'm a bit upset as well because I'm not drinking booze this year, but it seems like a waste, doesn't it? Yeah, well, we'll have to review that closer to the time. We're in international waters, man. It's fine. Come on, Mogi. No, I don't want to be an encouraging guy responsibly, of course, and I support you. Kia ora. In your pursuit of not drinking. Thanks, mate. Thanks a lot. It's going to be pretty fun over there, though. So tomorrow on the show, when you hear the cue to call 0800-HAURAKI, get yourself in the drawer.

51:07Mike Minogue:You don't want to miss it. There's Pluto. The Hauraki Big Show. Weekdays from four on Radio Hauraki.

51:19Keyzie:There you go, you mad bastards. We got there in the end. And Mogi was broken by the end of today's show. But nonetheless, we've reached the end, fellas, which is great news. Hey, what's the podcast outro clip today, Keezy? Oh, God. Today's clip. Quickly, quickly. Today's clip is just called Play. What always got me was that the laughs often aren't where you think they are. The laughs are, you get surprised. Exactly that. Oh, f*** now, is there a laugh there? It's the same as that. I don't think that, yeah. Exactly. Yeah, because you come out and you're wearing your Fonzie outfit.

51:56Mike Minogue:Mogey, we're having like a proper combo here. I know, I know. That was us genuinely discussing Jace's wife's play, and Mogey couldn't help.

52:07Keyzie:Couldn't help it, could he?

52:08Mike Minogue:He couldn't make fun of me by calling me Fonzie.

52:09Keyzie:We should have seen the signs early on, Keezy, from the podcast with old Mogey. Shocking bastard.

52:16Mike Minogue:What are you up there tonight, Keezy, man? Huh? Going out for dinner. Oh, what are you going to have? I don't know. I haven't looked at the menu yet. But I'm going out for dinner with... Because you normally have a look at the menu before you go to the restaurant. Not me. My wife does. Oh, yeah. I hate it. That's part of being at the restaurant is reading the menu. Yes, I agree. But we're going there with my wife, her cousin, who has come to stay with us for a few nights. Oh, yeah. What do you mean, oh, yeah? Did you get a few bottles of wine in? Last night, did you, Kiji? No, we did.

52:42Keyzie:You crack having the wines with the cousin?

52:43Mike Minogue:No, we had a cup of tea and watched that Louis Theroux documentary, which I'll talk about on the show tomorrow.

52:47Keyzie:A couple of wines tonight, maybe.

52:49Mike Minogue:Probably, yeah. It's a restaurant.

52:50Keyzie:Thus the wide open shirt and straining, straining singlet.

52:56Mike Minogue:Belt buckle. No. So, yeah, that's what I'm doing. What are you doing tonight, Jase? I'm going to walk home, put my tunes on,

53:04Keyzie:chat to my daughter. My wife's got to play again, of course, tonight, fellas. Oh, yes. So, and then I might pop out a little bit later on and get myself something to eat. Probably have to get something for my daughter to eat, because apparently I still have to feed her.

53:18Mike Minogue:Can you not take out all your anger issues with your daughter on the show, man? Why don't you get her because you're paying? She should go and pick it up.

53:26Keyzie:Yeah, true. True. He'll totally pick it up. He'll pick it up. All right, 100%. Mogi, what are you doing tonight, man? Got a little bit of a dinner myself, actually, Keezy. A little bit of work. A little bit of work, probably, as well. Got to tidy the house, having some people over. You know what it's like. Got to have a bit of a family meeting, getting the cat's de - The cat has been de-sexed tomorrow. Yeah. Those massive balls getting lopped off, are they? No, she's having the ovaries removed instead. That's great. Check out the Instagram. See you tomorrow.