FULL SHOW: Caught In The Act

9:36Keyzie:What's a Scout Den? You know, Scouts. Yeah, cool.

9:40Mike Minogue:Okay.

9:41Keyzie:Arkayla. We will do our best, Arkayla. And he actually got caught under the Scout Den and got booted out. Really? Yes. For making love? For making love. Under a Scout Den?

9:53Mike Minogue:Yes. You must have been devastated. Rory's texting, I made love on a bouncy castle once, late at night, and it was raining. Oh, that's quite nice. Yeah, 100%. Adam was in a crane high above Auckland City. Oh, that better be that same crane, Jase, that you've seen, that you walk past on the way home. The one just hit, yeah, across the road.

10:15Keyzie:I've got a photo of it to show you.

10:17Mike Minogue:We made love on top of the bunkers on North Head, which is in Auckland where the gun placements are. Oh, yeah. Yeah. That was after the All Blacks had won a World Cup game. Yeah.

10:28Keyzie:What about you, Keezy? Where's the weirdest place you've ever made love? Or the sexiest?

10:36Mike Minogue:No, honestly, you know me, man. I'm pretty... Prudish. Not prudish. Pretty vanilla. Yeah, vanilla. Yeah, yeah. So, I don't know, maybe the lounge? That was pretty... To be honest, it was freaking me out a bit. So I was like, no, let's not. Let's stop. What about you, Jase?

10:56Keyzie:To be honest, I haven't really been adventurous in the sort of location sense. Your classic's like a beach. What kind of ways have you been adventurous? Well, I mean, I can be adventurous in the bedroom. Oh, yes. You know what I'm saying, fellas? Please go on. Do you wear your new boots? I haven't yet, but it's only a matter of time. Damn. Role playing. But you know, I think probably the beach is probably the most outrageous What about you, Mogi? Jeez Where to start? Probably assembly at school Oh yeah Yeah

11:41Mike Minogue:What, at assembly? At assembly, yeah Like during assembly? During assembly, yeah Where were you? I was on the stage Right I was a deputy principal And who are you doing it with? Science teacher. Yeah, okay, cool, great. That's good stuff. The Hauraki Big Show, weekdays from four on Radio Hauraki.

12:04Keyzie:Nirvana there on the Radio Hauraki Big Show this Friday afternoon. The time is 4.39. Now it's a Friday thrubber as always. But fellas, we're doing something a little bit different today, aren't we?

12:17Mike Minogue:Yeah. People text an abuse whenever we do the Throbber. They're like, oh, you know, the Throbber sucks. You guys pick crap songs. You guys suck. You guys suck, especially Boogie. Hoody J's got a big nose. Hoody J's got a big nose. Do they say that stuff today about my nose? To be honest, no, you're all good. In our defence, fellas, we've been doing this. Is it our fifth year? Every single week we're choosing three songs. So it's 150 songs, give or take, a year. Yes. 750-odd Throbbers that we're choosing, although we choose most of them, you know, sort of 10 times each year. Do we? But the effect of it is we've run out of ideas, and people are complaining about it.

12:54So I guess what we've come to is the point where we say to the audience, well, if you think you're so good, then you do it. You do it.

12:59Keyzie:Go on, then. You give it a try.

13:01Mike Minogue:Yeah. Can I just say, I don't think I've run out of ideas. I've still got a big list. Oh, no. They're terrible. I mean, this is the thing. I sort of feel like you ran out of ideas like three years ago, Keezy. I did? Yeah, yeah. Jase, you are the least enthusiastic about the Throbber out of all of us here. It's a shocker.

13:17Keyzie:Excuse me, Keezy. So today, right? There is no bigger enthusiast of the Throbber than Hoity J. Well, talk about how it works first, Keezy. Tell us about how it works now.

13:27Mike Minogue:Well, today, the way we've trialled it today is Pugs put up an Instagram story being like, you know, tell us what Throbber songs you guys like. And you've gone in the draw for a$50 Reburger voucher. So people have sent through a whole lot of suggestions. We will then choose one of those each. Yes. And then whoever wins, I guess the person who suggested that throbber in the first place will be given a$50 re-burger voucher. That's right. So these are suggested by the audience. And can I just say, the way Jase chose his, I actually looked through the full list and was like, oh, there's a few good suggestions in there.

13:58Mike Minogue:I'm going to go lock in that one.

13:59Keyzie:Yeah, same, same.

14:00Mike Minogue:Jase literally, Pugs came and was like, Jase, I need your throbber. He opens the thing, looks at the first page of songs, and then just goes, ah, I'll just go for that one. He gets literally, yeah, exactly, I'll go for that one. And then Kesey said, do you even know what that song sounds like? No. No is what you said. So it could be, God knows, it could be anything.

14:18Keyzie:So just to clarify, fellas, if, say, by chance, I won with the thrubber I picked, do I get the point? Are we still keeping the points, sister? The points continue, that's right.

14:32Mike Minogue:Well, because we're still choosing from the audience. That's right, yes. In future, I wouldn't mind hearing from an audience member, though, Because when you're getting berated and people are having a go at your song that you've put forward. That's right. I think it would be nice for the audience to experience that. And I also think another way to do it, and this is, you know, we'll see how we go. We'll work it out as we go along. But I think another way would be for actually Pugs to choose all three and then we have to choose number one, number two, and number three and we get allocated the songs that way.

15:00Right. Right? That's interesting. Yeah. And then that way it's sort of the three Pugs' taste And then if anyone doesn't like it, they can just blame Pugs. Pugs, yeah.

15:10Mike Minogue:I don't want a Pugs-Beret situation happening with the throbber, you know what I mean? Look, we all want to avoid a Pugs-Beret situation, absolutely. Yeah. Well, that'll be happening just after five, though, eh, fellas?

15:20Keyzie:Yeah, I'm really excited about it. I like this new move where the listeners get to choose. It's great.

15:26Mike Minogue:You're off the hook, eh, Jar?

15:27Keyzie:It's really good. Here's the raconteurs.

15:30Mike Minogue:The Hauraki Big Show, weekdays from four on Radio Hauraki.

15:34Keyzie:Yes indeed, Living Colour there on the radio. Hauraki, big show this Friday afternoon. The time, 10 minutes to 5 o 'clock. Let's talk TV. What's on the telly with Mike Minogue?

15:50Keyzie:Yes. Should we let? No. I've got something I've got to speak about. Yeah. The Long Way Round. Been talking about that show this year. There's four seasons of it. It's Ewan McGregor and his mate Charlie Borman travelling around the world on motorbikes. Season one, The Long Way Round. London to New York via Europe, Asia, Alaska and North America. 31 ,000 kilometres. Wow. One of the great shows. I think I gave it five stars earlier in the year.

16:21Mike Minogue:What the hell's a star? What do you mean? Oh, sorry, buzzies. Thank you. Five buzzies out of a possible five buzzies. Then The Long Way Down, filmed in 2007, they go from Scotland to Cape Town. 24 ,000 Ks on that bastard. Just finished that the other night. Five buzzies out of a possible five buzzies. Yeah. Now I've started the long way up from 2020. That's when they go from the very bottom of South America up to Los Angeles. That's 21 ,000 Ks. And I was talking to Keezy about this yesterday. This would be right up Keezy's alley. Totally. He would love it. It's right there. I don't know if I would like it up my alley.

16:57Mike Minogue:You would love it. The thing about it is, Keezy, you haven't tried it. And you simply must. You simply must. I will try it. I just don't think pressuring me into it is the answer.

17:08Keyzie:As soon as Mogi recommends something to me, I'm on it. I go home and I say to my wife, hey, Mogi said this is really good. Boom, it's on the TV straight away. The thing about it is, because I'm very considerate of what your wife, sorry, of your wife's likes and dislikes, she loves travel. She loves Keezy on a motorbike. That's hot. She hates that. And she loves hot dudes that aren't you. And that's Ewan McGregor. Wow. In the series. You would love it. You would absolutely love it, Kesey. And it's killing me that you won't watch it. No, I'm going to watch it. So I'm just telling you that that money that you still haven't paid me, that you still haven't paid me for where an old hoity J vaped his way all the way through the month.

17:56Mike Minogue:I will transfer that to you right now. I don't want it. I want you to get Apple TV and go and watch that goddamn show. I'd rather just give you the money. Good stuff. No, I will watch the show, Moggy. That's great, man. Cool. We'll talk about it on Monday. Awesome. The issue is, I had to watch Broken Wood Mysteries, which goes at 90 minutes an episode. You didn't have to watch it. Yes, I did.

18:16Keyzie:You chose to watch it.

18:18Mike Minogue:No, I had to watch it. Moggy said you have to watch this by the end of last week. We've only just got round to it. And guess what? We watched the first 30 minutes. Oh, well done. And then after 30 minutes, my wife said, do we have to keep watching this? It's very much you've seen the first half an hour you've seen all 12 seasons. But like she said it in a way of like I'm enjoying it but I like to watch something that just like is mind numbing before I go to bed aka location, location, location or grand size. Are you telling me Broken World Mysteries is not mind numbing?

18:43Keyzie:It's very sophisticated I'd agree with that.

18:46Mike Minogue:It was too stimulating. Yeah, yeah. Because we're going over the who's and who did it you know what I mean? Yes. All I'll say is that your character I think you said this does himself no favours. Yeah, he's a dad. It's like he's just been a dick the whole time. He brings a real hoity J vibe to the show, can I say? 100%. It's like I feel like you've taken the script and added your own flair to it. But also the other thing my wife couldn't get past is that Ray's Trattoria. Yes, Romano Ray. Romano Ray's new Italian joint is filmed sort of near where we live.

19:16Keyzie:It's very close to where you live, actually.

19:18Mike Minogue:In Teatutu. And the whole time she's just like, hey, that's Teatutu. Yeah, yeah. Hey, look, Teatutu. So we were distracted by that. Did you like it at the start how Jase was riding his little van and he stalled it? Yeah, that little three-wheeled van. I loved that. And I explained all about that. And my wife also loved Jase in a pigeon suit as well. Yeah. So we will finish it. We've just got an hour left of it. Can I say, I don't think you will finish it. I think it's highly likely that you will never finish it.

19:45Keyzie:I'm going to test you on the outcome of that particular episode, Keezy. Just to make sure that you finish it. But then you'll have to watch it. Finish it, Keezy!

19:52Mike Minogue:Okay, I'll finish it over the weekend. Here's the black keys. The Hauraki Big Show with Jase, Mike and Keezy. Tune in weekdays at four on Radio Hauraki.

20:07Keyzie:It's the Hauraki Big Show's Friday Throbber. Dish, dish. But a throbber with a difference, fellas, is chosen by the listeners. We've copped a lot of criticism over the last few months' Real choices, so we thought let's throw it back on the listeners. They can choose. That's right. They choose. A whole bunch of options come through to us. We select from that range that is sent through to us, and then the winner of the throbber means that, let's say I win it, I get a point, and then the person whose song I chose, they get a$50 re-burger voucher. How good. We've also, obviously, it's the throbber 2.0, but we've decided to call it What's on the Throuble with Me, Keezy.

20:52No, we haven't.

20:52Mike Minogue:Just as a sort of a rebrand. No, we have not. Stop rebranding everything to What's on the Something with Me, Keezy. Keezy.

20:58Keyzie:That's a great idea, Moogie.

21:00Mike Minogue:That's a shit idea. Who did you choose, Keezy? My suggestion came through by a lovely person with great taste named Laura. Oh, God. And you nominate these. These were on the Hodaki Big Show's Instagram story. Oh, yes. Okay, and in future we might get people to text them in, we might call them back. We're still figuring it out. This is from Laura. There's a room where the light won't find you.

21:28Keyzie:Holding hands while the walls come down and down. When they do, I'll be right behind you. So glad we've almost made it.

21:41Mike Minogue:Tears for Fears. Yeah, man. Everybody wants to rule the world. Trobbing, man. It's a swing along, you know. Yeah, that's right. Jase is, you know, taking aim at Keezy's throbber there when Jase has not even heard his own throbber.

21:56Keyzie:Oh, I think this is a tune. This is an absolute tune. Come and get it by ACDC, sent in by Mitchell Riley. I've got my feeling wrapped in rain I want to go back and get in your morning Come and get it

22:22You should have listened to it first, Jase, because that's lame, man. Yeah, that shit.

22:26Mike Minogue:No. That song's fine. I don't want Mitch to be listening and going, oh, man. I hate it. That song's sweet. What's funny is that Jase chose that, has never heard of it, has never listened to it, then sitting there.

22:37Keyzie:I'm sure I've heard it sometime in my 39 years. I've never heard it in my life. It's not one of their hits, and there's a reason for that. But great choice, Jase, man. Yeah, thanks.

22:47Mike Minogue:Good on you, Mitch. I love you listening to it for the first time with a filthy look on your face. It's like, well, why don't you pre-listen to it, man? I've gone with this ripper from Callum Wilde.

23:00Keyzie:Lord, I can't shake Won't you fly free bird, yeah Yeah! Woo! We know the good news, fellas, is that if people hate those choices, it's not our fault. It's got nothing to do with us. You know what I mean? So you decide. Give us a call now on 0800 Hauraki. Except it is your fault, Jase, because you didn't listen. So it's your fault. If you had to listen to it, you wouldn't have chosen it. And yet here we are listening to it. What are you talking about, man? That's a great tune. Where's the dandy Warhols?

23:37Mike Minogue:The Hauraki Big Show with Jase, Mike and Kesey. Tune in weekdays at 4 on Radio Hauraki.

23:45Keyzie:It's the Hauraki Big Show's Friday Throbber. Dish, dish. You just fart during that. Yes, indeed. The Friday Throbber. Mogi. As chosen by the people.

23:58Mike Minogue:That's right. The people have chosen the three songs, and then people still vote by calling 0800 Hauraki. Correct. I'll go first, eh, fellas? Go on. Mine was sent through by Laura, but it tears for fears.

24:15While the walls come totally down When they do, I'll be right behind you Yeah, man. Text here on 3483. TS Affairs suck, but still an improvement on Creed and Hinder.

24:30Mike Minogue:Yeah, true. Well, if we're going to start reading all the texts out, Hoyt's song, Worst I've Ever Heard. Speaking of, Jase, what was your song again?

24:37Keyzie:Just on that, can I just correct you there, Keezy? Mitchell's song. That you chose. That he chose.

24:44Mike Minogue:This is your thing, is you just palm all blame off onto someone else. And it's an absolute banger.

24:50Keyzie:Come and get it by ACDC.

25:08Keyzie:June. June. It's not too bad. It's all G. And this one, the listener, Callum Wilde, sent this one in. I listened to it, knew the song anyway, and I selected it based on what I'd heard. Yeah. Lord, I can't shame. Woo! Won't you fly?

25:35Freebirds. Yeah.

25:38Mike Minogue:Freebirds. Traditionally does very well in The Throbber. It does. It does. Hell of a song.

25:42Keyzie:So let's go to the phone lines then. G'day, Alex. How's life?

25:47Mike Minogue:Yeah, not too bad. Yeah, good on you, mate.

25:50Keyzie:What are you running with there, Alex?

25:52Mike Minogue:What am I running with? I'm going to go with Three Bird by Leonard Skinhead. Yeah, yeah. Good on you, brother. Nice, mate. Just going to get to it, man.

26:00Keyzie:G'day, Steve, you mad bastard. How's life? Yeah, good, good. Good on you, mate. What are you running with there, Steve? Three Bird. Yeah, man. Yeah, good on you. Bang, bang. Bang, bang. Bang, bang. So good. Huge win for Callum Wilde. He gets himself a$50 Reburger voucher. We'll come back and do the scores, but I think we're going to hear more about this one from Jase. June.

26:22Mike Minogue:3483. What did you think of our Throbber selections today? Every text in the draw for a$50 Reburger voucher as well, so get stuck in. Here's Freebird. Freebird. The Hauraki Big Show. Weekdays from four on Radio Hauraki.

26:39Keyzie:Freebird there on the radio. Houdaki Big Show this Friday evening. And that's your Friday, Throbber, New Zealand.

26:48Mike Minogue:Certainly is. Just looking at the Throbber scoreboard there. Out in front on 10 wins, old Mogey. Old double-digit Mogey, they call him. Double-digit Mogey. Coming in second on 8KZ and in third place on 5 with an asterisk and a small D, hoity J. Can we make that a big D? Sure, man. Thanks, man. Actually, no. No, we can't. How are you guys feeling about the change? Because that was obviously our first audience chosen throbber I love everything that you and I did, Kesey I love what the audience did Right Some fine little tweaks to be made But I guess it's just the It's Jase's commitment to this segment of the show I mean, we've got to call it into question once again Jase, what is it about the throbber that you hate, man?

27:32Mike Minogue:Is it because you haven't won? Like the year-long throbber?

27:36Keyzie:Look, fellas I think Mitch set me up there

27:42Mike Minogue:Mitch just sent through his favourite song You had about 40 songs to choose from And I chose that one No, you just looked at the thing and just picked a random song You said, oh, ACDC That must be good

27:52Keyzie:You were wrong And it was a banger So it's Mitch's fault, not yours? Yes, totally Well, this is the whole idea of this, isn't it? No, it's not Just palm off responsibility Well, you know, because we've been getting so much heat, fellas Sorry, hang on I thought the idea was that if they didn't like it, well, you know, it's on them.

28:12Mike Minogue:This whole we've been getting so much heat. Like every week, right, one of us should be able to throw out like a kind of question mark tune because you know the other two will pick throbbers. But every week, Jase throws out the same shitters. You know what I mean? So then if I choose a question mark tune, then all of a sudden there's two shitters and Rage Against the Machine probably. I haven't chosen Rage Against the Machine for a long time.

28:34Keyzie:The inaccuracy of what you just said, Kesey, you're forgetting I've actually won it five times this year.

28:40Mike Minogue:Yeah, but two of those are taken away from the asterisk in the small d. The other thing that's interesting, Jase, is that earlier on this evening, you explicitly said, so if my tune wins it, I get the point. Yeah. And yet you're prepared to give all blame to the person who supplies it, and you want credit when you've had nothing to do with it. You haven't even heard the song before. Yeah, totally. Sweet. So look, we're going to tweak the format a wee bit, I think. We've had a lot of texts on 3483. We might get the texters involved. I just want to float this, Gacy. You know this is not normally what I do.

29:11But is this another asterisk?

29:14Mike Minogue:Wow. It must be serious if Mogi's dishing out asterisks. I mean, is it to not even listen to a song and put it up for the thrower?

29:20Keyzie:I don't think you deserve an asterisk. That was a fair dinkum win for you, Mogi. You don't deserve an asterisk. Oh, yeah, true. Thanks, man.

29:27Mike Minogue:Now, Jase, on the other hand, I think the fact that you're even putting it forward is enough for me. You know me, I'm ready to give out an asterisk I think we have to put it to the audience Does it deserve an asterisk? Yeah, and we'll come back to it after 6 and discuss 3483 let us know Does Jase deserve an asterisk for choosing a song in the Thrival Without ever having heard it before in his life? Oh, here's a tune Have you heard this one before, have you? The Hauraki Big Show With Jase, Mike and Keezy Tune in weekdays at 4

29:58Keyzie:On Radio Hauraki

30:00Mike Minogue:Let's see who's joining Gerian Manaya on the Export Ultra Grand Final Bear Garden Tour.

30:06Keyzie:Yes, indeed. Hell of a prize. I believe we're drawing that on Wednesday next week, fellas. So it's getting real close.

30:13Mike Minogue:It's getting close, fellas. It's getting closer and closer all the time. Yeah, man. So close. Flying to Sydney. Five-star hotel. Return flights. Races the day before. A harbour cruise. And, of course, going along to the grand final of the rugby league. Yeah. Buffball league. If the wahs are there, one of the all-time great prizes. Yes, I agree. If not, still pretty damn awesome.

30:34Keyzie:Let's go to the phone lines. G'day, Isaac, you mad bastard. How's life? Hey, good, thanks, fellas.

30:40Mike Minogue:How are you guys?

30:41Keyzie:Yeah, good, thanks, mate. What do you do for a crust?

30:43Mike Minogue:I'm a land surveyor.

30:46Keyzie:Oh, backbone. Backbone, mate. Tell me, you know, when you've had a few beersies inside you, Isaac, there, are you a bit of a pain in the arse? A bit of a punisher?

30:58Mike Minogue:It's a mute, mate, actually. Turn into a bit of a mute. Oh. No dramas. Do you wake up with plenty of regrets and demons? Well, if you can remember them, yeah. Yeah, there we go. Okay. Do you wet the bed, Isaac? Ah, nah, mate. That's probably a year thing. Okay. Because the issue is we want you to ruin this trip for them. Yeah, for the fellas. Do you reckon you could learn how to do it? Oh, 100%, man. Okay, sweet. Yeah, lock it in.

31:21Keyzie:Well, actually, rather than, you know, he could urinate in their beds. 100%. That's what I mean, yeah. Whatever he wants to do it. Yeah, it's all G. Good on you. Yeah, Isaac, you're in the draw, mate. Stay on the line. Thanks, guys. Appreciate it. G'day, Daz, you mad bastard. How's life? Beautiful, fellas. It's Friday afternoon. Yeah. Oh, Bobby Dazzler, the mad dog. How you going, brother? Good to hear you, Moggy. Yeah. Moggy, tell me. What are you doing for a cross these days, man? You've done every trade under the sun. You name it, I've done it, but I've got a real sweet deal at the moment. It's a hard life.

31:55Keyzie:I'm working as a library. Oh, back bone That's good That would be actually very pleasant I went to the library the other day Actually in the CB, it's very peaceful isn't it Daz We've got lots of colouring books just for you, Jess There you go, Jase, man Lots of colouring books for you, brother I don't like Daz anymore Daz, can you tell me, man, there's something about a library It can get a fella going there Maybe it's all that knowledge Have you ever found anybody making love in the aisles?

32:26Mike Minogue:I thought about it He's thought about it. You've thought about it. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Nice, Daz. Hey, if we -

32:32Keyzie:He sounds perfect for this trip.

32:34Mike Minogue:100%. If we award you this trip, Daz, do you reckon you could kind of ruin it by just insisting on everyone going to the various libraries around Sydney? Oh, I'm sure we can ruin it quite easily, mate. Yeah, good on you, mate. I'm pretty good at that. Yeah, I've heard as much, Daz. You're in the draw, mate. You hold the line, all right? That goes Daz. He's your winner, as far as I can see. Yeah, totally. Plenty more chances to get yourself in the draw for that massive trip. Make sure you keep listening to Hauraki, and if you hear that cue to call 0800-HAURAKI is the number to ring. So good. The Hauraki Big Show, weekdays from four on Radio Hauraki.

33:11Keyzie:Yes, indeed. Red hot chili peppers there on the Radio Hauraki Big Show, Friday evening. The time is quarter to six. Fellas, we work too hard, and because we work too hard and so hard, Five days a week, up to three and a half hours a day sometimes. It's crazy. We decided we need to get some stunt doubles in for us. Stand-ins. Stand-ins, yes. The big show Stand-ins. So they'll come in and they'll do stuff that we don't want to do. So for Jase, for example, his stand-in will come in and do the throbber because he doesn't care about it anymore. Yeah, sweet. Meetings with the boss. Brainstorming. Brainstorming, all that sort of stuff.

33:50We're going to get our doppelgangers to come in. They'll be paid in re-burger vouchers, backbone T-shirts and high-fives. And hauraki bottle openers. Oh, that's right. Bottle openers. So what we need is for the audience out there to send through photos of either yourself, you've got to look like one of us, or you've got a mate that looks like either Hoere J. Keezy or Old Mogi. And send that photo through to the Hauraki Big Show on Instagram there. Just DM it. We started this, I think, on Tuesday. We've been busy since, so this is only a second run of it. We've only had one image come in so far, and I think we can wrap it up because this guy looks exactly like Hoity J.

34:37Mike Minogue:You seen the photo, Jase? Yes. What do you think?

34:40Keyzie:I think he looks more like Mogi, actually.

34:42Mike Minogue:Ah, okay. Let me look.

34:44Keyzie:Well, unfortunately, he's been submitted for Hoity J.

34:47Mike Minogue:He could literally be in between you two, actually. Yes. He is, he's like the love child. Like whack a couple of funny boots on him, he's Hoity J. He's got Hoity J's ears in the sense that they don't stick out. Yeah, right. He doesn't have your ears. And he is wearing a weird hoodie, which is Hoity J territory. But he's got your nose, Mogi. No offence to the bloke, obviously. So you could probably also send them into the Radio Hauraki Facebook page. Yep. Message them in there. Yes. Because Big Dilly will be across it and he'll file those through. Yeah. And then we want to get them all, you know, once we get this going, There's going to be a hell of a lot of money behind it.

35:21We're expecting a lot of publicity. Totally, man. A lot of cash. I'd like to get them up here to actually meet us, and we'll take them through the rigours of what it is that we do so that they can take over at a moment's notice. Totally.

35:32Keyzie:And it shouldn't be hard getting one for me. I've got a sort of every man kind of face. We're very lived-in face. A very lived-in face. So it shouldn't be difficult getting me. Keezy, I mean, if your ears are all up to piss and stuff, maybe that could work. Well, this is the thing. This is actually part of where it came from, this idea, was because my cousin, who's just moved back from overseas, went out on the booze for the first time since he's been back, about maybe six months, nine months, something like that. And he texted me at about half past midnight and said to me, is Keezy in Wellington or did I just meet a fake one?

36:09I was in Christchurch at the time. Yeah, that's right. And at the time I was asleep, so I didn't answer. about half an hour later, he said, I think Keezy might be a look. I'm surrounded by the bastards.

36:20Mike Minogue:It's just a generic bloke with a moustache and dark hair. Oh, it's Keezy. Oh, my God, I met Keezy. I've been sent so many photos of just random guys with moustaches.

36:28Keyzie:To be fair, it's a weird kind of moustache. What do you mean? Just a standard moustache. It would be very hard to replicate that atrocity.

36:37Mike Minogue:It's just a standard moustache, Jase. Would you say standard? 100%. You used to describe it as patchy. Patchy, yeah, multi. Yeah, yeah, true. So if you know anyone with a patchy, multi-moustache and ears that are really messed up, send that through for me. I think we're going to get some rippers. We'll put the finalists up on Instagram. We'll get some voting going.

36:58Keyzie:Good stuff. In the meantime, here's the cure. The Hauraki Beat Show with Jase, Mike and Keezy.

37:06Mike Minogue:Tune in weekdays at 4 on Radio Hauraki.

37:09Keyzie:Welcome back, you massive bag bones. Hope your Friday's really going off. You're listening to The Big Show, by the way, brought to you by Reburger.

37:17Mike Minogue:Serving good times and good food. Dine in or take away Reburger today. Reburger.

37:23Keyzie:Yeah, good stuff, fellas. Speaking of which, what's on your plate tonight, Mogi, food-wise? I'll be honest with you, I'll probably have nothing when I get home because since I got here I've had a packet of shapes, a packet of chips, a fairly significant Japanese meal. Yeah, you've been shocking. So I feel like I'm at my outer limits when it comes to food. That's the truth, man. That's the sad truth. Keezy, what about you? I was sent a mushroom influencer box by a friend of ours who works at a mushroom place. How do you influence a mushroom? I don't know.

37:58Mike Minogue:There's all different kinds of button mushrooms and stuff in there and some recipes to make some delicious meals. Delicious. So we're going to make a delicious meal tonight. I think we're going to make the pasta. Oh. Which I thought was quite clever. Like, you send all the stuff to make some meals. Yeah. You know what I mean? I think it's great. That's a great idea. I haven't heard of that before. That's such a good idea, man. Who came up with that idea? I don't know. Jase, what are you having for dinner, man? Look. Here we go. We're having soup. I thought you were going to say hot pot again. Which is a kind of soup.

38:30Mike Minogue:That's what I want.

38:32Keyzie:Really? Because you had it two days ago. But, yeah, I know. It gets embarrassing if you keep going back. It is embarrassing. You know, it's like. Do they recognise you? He does. He smiles every time he sees me now. He's like, I've got that bastard hook, line and sinker. That's a good thing, though. Yeah, totally it is. Can I ask you how much a hot pot costs? What's the cost of a hot pot? Well, between my wife and I, we paid the last time$31. So$15.50. Yeah. Wow. It's about$15 each. Is it filling? Really filling. I've got a steaming spicy bowl. I have seafood. I have chicken. I have everything in there.

39:09Keyzie:Tofu. Far out. It's good stuff, fellas. You don't have to convince us. You should check it out, man.

39:16Mike Minogue:I'm going to. So you're having soup. What flavour? Tamati with grilled cheese toasties. Yum, that sounds great.

39:23Keyzie:That's good. Yeah, man. And stick mags. Oh, and stick mags, yeah, yeah. But that'll just be me and my private time there, fellas.

39:31Mike Minogue:Do you like Faith No More? Not really. The Hauraki Big Show with Jace, Mike and Keezy. Tune in weekdays at 4 on Radio Hauraki.

39:40Keyzie:Queens of the Stone Age there on the Radio Hauraki. Big show this Friday evening. The time is 14 minutes past 6 o 'clock. And fellows, I very much enjoyed a day in Lou yesterday on top of the Sky Tower. You guys have a good time?

39:53Mike Minogue:The best time ever. It was awesome. Broadcasting from 200 metres in the air. Yeah, man. Doing it all for bowel cancer New Zealand as well. Actually, you can still donate if you text Lou to 3483. Yeah, bloody do it.

40:03Keyzie:And I loved all our guests as well. They were all fantastic. but one in particular really stood out for me and I mentioned it earlier in the show and that was Suzanne Paul.

40:17Now I consider you a good observer of people, Moggy.

40:25Keyzie:You pick up on things. I do. You do stare at people a lot. I am always staring at them, whether they like it or not. Yeah. What was your vibe last night when Suzanne was on the show? between the two of us. Were you seeing anything? Because I found a certain electricity in the air. There was a real sort of... Electricity is one way of putting it, but there was an immediate magnetism, an attraction. Yes. Like there was no way that the universe could keep you apart, even if it tried.

41:02and the way that each of you reacted to that energy was different. Yes. Suzanne Paul, she resorted to, you know, playground insults. Yeah, yeah. And the like.

41:16Keyzie:Trying to sort of suggest I was a bit of a hideous beast. And you reacted by trying to laugh those insults off. Yeah, yeah, totally. They cut you to the quick.

41:24Mike Minogue:Well, that's the thing, because from the outside looking in, I was like well there's nothing happening here you know what I mean but then but you're coming on saying that there actually was something there was some sort of

41:33Keyzie:oh I'm you know I'm not I'm trying not to make a big deal about it right okay but yeah I mean she threw a few insults my way and I went good stuff it's good stuff and jeez she's an inspirational woman too isn't she she is you know she came over here with just 18 bucks

41:51Mike Minogue:yeah 100 % became a millionaire I came up from

41:53Keyzie:you know Rotorua with like 7 bucks Wow. Now I'm a top radio. There's similarities in our story.

42:02Mike Minogue:So you came from Rotorua with$7. She came from the UK with 18. Very similar.

42:07Keyzie:We're both kind of brave like that. And you'll remember, of course, he was very famous for her infomercials. That's right. I don't know if you guys know this, but I had quite a big career in the old infomercials. 100%. I do think. Be the before photo.

42:25Mike Minogue:Oh. See? You're always filmed in black and white. You see, if Suzanne had said that, I wouldn't have minded. Because it's playful justin'. Yeah, yeah. I do think of you as sort of the male Suzanne Paul.

42:37Keyzie:Well, I just, it was just, not only was there chemistry there, but how our sort of careers reflect each other. And I'm thinking, you know, what am I going to do after radio? Maybe I get back and I give Suzanne a call and I say, why don't we pair up and do infomercials together? Because I've, you know, I've got experience in that. I've got a great voice. I think she's finished doing them now, isn't she? A well-lived-in face. Yes, as she said, yeah. You know what I mean? She could do my make-up before each shoot. Yeah. What sort of things would you be peddling?

43:08Mike Minogue:Yeah, well, that's the question, isn't it? Yeah. Because infomercials, it's not a huge market anymore, you know? Because people don't just watch daytime tally anymore. Do they not? I don't think so. Well, I mean, older people probably do, but...

43:18Keyzie:I mean, it's more if you're watching midnight till dawn sort of thing, you know, two in the morning. Right, does it?

43:23Mike Minogue:But it's bloody lucrative, fellas. So what are you thinking? You want to link up with Suzanne Paul?

43:29Keyzie:Yeah, I think so. I think we could work really well together. I'd like to see it. I'd like to see it. Well, maybe we should bring her in again and we could, you know, do a sort of mock tape.

43:41Mike Minogue:What? She did say, maybe it was jousting, she did say she never wants to see you ever again. Yeah. Yeah. Oh, is that flirting, is it? Yeah, yeah. Okay. The Hauraki Big Show. Weekdays from four on Radio Hauraki.

43:54Keyzie:Yes, indeed, Metallica there on the Radio Hauraki big show Friday evening. Bad mode.

44:03Mike Minogue:What's on the news with me, Keezy? It's a naming situation that just works, isn't it? What's on the blah, blah with me, old Keezy? Yeah, yeah.

44:18Keyzie:I'm a little bit confused by the sort of bowling pin sort of soundtrack there. And the whip at the end. It sounds like there's a...

44:25Mike Minogue:Should we just listen to that again? I haven't noticed that. Here we go. What's on the news? With me, Casey.

44:37Keyzie:What are you talking about? It's like a ball hitting, you know, the pins and bowling. Right at the start? Is that what you're doing, Matt? No, at the very end there. Can you play it again, please, Casey?

44:44Mike Minogue:I don't want this to get sidetracked by listening to... Let's just listen carefully to the end. What's on the news? With me, Casey. There. Cool, yeah, you clearly haven't been to the bowling alley in the last 30 years. Yeah, I don't know. Fellas, huge news article that's just come out in the UK. What is it? King Charles III, which is the current king. Oh, I was trying to work it out. He's become the first British monarch to publicly reveal his tax bill. His tax bill. His tax bill. Do you want to have a guess at how much he paid in tax? 2024 to 2025? In one year. In one year, how much he paid in tax?

45:2710 million pounds. Close. Thank you.

45:29Mike Minogue:12.9 million pounds. Jase, you want to have a guess? 12.9 million pounds? Close. 10 million pounds. Wow. So Prince William also disclosed his tax. How much did he pay? Do you want to have a guess? You'd think less. 4.7 million pounds 6.7 million pounds Close, 7.7 million pounds Damn it! So, but the first people to, monarchs to actually declare it Which is quite interesting Because it's all about transparency But straight away, questions were asked around Hey, should we not give them so much public money? Because they've got a lot of funds here Yeah From various things like The Duchy of Lancaster Which generated 25 million pounds The Duchy of Cornwall They own a whole lot of land.

46:17Mike Minogue:They also spend a lot of money. So, for example, Prince William went on a three-day trip to Saudi Arabia, which cost£130 ,000 for three days. That's just quite interesting, isn't it? I think if everybody, you know, if I was in the royal family, England is nothing without the royal family. Correct. And I think they need to start remembering that. You get rid of the castles, you get rid of the royal family, you remove their stories from the tabloids. That whole part of the world, that whole country, certainly falls to pieces. And so I think if I was in the position of King Charles and people started talking about us paying more taxes, I'd start chopping off a few heads.

46:57Yes, bring back the gillards. I'd be doing a bit of drawing and quartering. I'd be stealing the crops. You don't like the money? How about if I take your food as well? That sort of stuff. They don't know how lucky they are.

47:07Keyzie:How would you like a little stint in the Tower?

47:09Mike Minogue:Thank you. The Tower of London. So I should go back to like Henry VIII style rule. Yeah, yeah. Absolutely, because they don't know how good they've got it. Yeah, right. And they could be like public executions too. They're the only kind of execution I like. Yes. The idea of an execution behind closed doors. What's the point? Yeah, thank you. And back in the day, they'd do it in the town square. They would. Well, it's a little bit of entertainment on a Friday afternoon or a Saturday afternoon. Now, of course, you've got the UFC or Buckba League. I suppose nowadays too, there'd be more viewers. There'd probably be live streams.

47:40Mike Minogue:so it'll be like live at Wembley. That's right. You know, a beheading. Yeah. Oh, Mum, make them stop. Nah. Yeah. We'll be back with more after this sort of situation. I just thought it was interesting that he paid that much tax and he's been so transparent with it. I just thought it was interesting. What do you think he spends all his cash on, Keezy? Hmm. I don't know, like jewels? Jewels? I think they get gifted a lot. Do they? Yeah, I think it's mostly they get gifted. And, of course, they steal jewels from all over the world. Oh, do they? With the pillaging. Horses. Yeah. The Hauraki Big Show.

48:13Mike Minogue:Weekdays from four on Radio Hauraki.

48:16Keyzie:Led Zeppelin there on the Radio Hauraki Big Show this Friday evening. Fellas, let's give out a little bit of advice for the weekend. Meet Patty Nips 69 at gmail.com. Get in touch with the fellas.

48:34Mike Minogue:With the fellas. Meet Patty Nips 69 at gmail.com. It is a real email address, and we are moving through our advice emails that have come in. So if you do want to get in touch and potentially win yourself a prize, if it gets read out on the show, then send an email, all right, because we're starting to run a little bit dry. Still got a few there, but you've got a good chance of being read out. Now, this one comes from Anonymous. Here we go. Kia ora there, feelers. I have a bit of a predicament in the flat. Over the weekend, my flatmate had a wave of artistic inspiration and produced what can only be described as one of the worst paintings I've seen in my life.

49:11Mike Minogue:It's like something your kid made at school, except worse and by an adult. Not my kid. My kid's brilliant. I'm a mid-twenties male with no interest in art, but even I know it's absolute shithouse. It turns out she has decided to hang her monstrosity in the lounge, just above the TV, permanently in your eyeline. I just want to watch the wahs without having this absolute shitter in my periphery. Any advice? What can I do? Cheers, Anonymous. I think you stage a burglary. And the only things that are taken are that painting in Jace's boots. Yeah.

49:46Keyzie:Or a fire.

49:48Mike Minogue:Burn down the flat? Burn the house down.

49:50Keyzie:That's true.

49:51Mike Minogue:Well, if you stage a burglary, you can say, wow, I'm not surprised they took that painting. It was amazing. Yeah, that's right.

49:56Keyzie:Yeah, yeah, true. Yeah. True. That's a really good question, actually. Oh, well, I live in a similar situation at home where my wife found a painting that she loved. Right, loved. This thing is 2.4 by 2.4, maybe three metres. Holy shit, that's huge. It's massive. Sent me a photo of it, said, what do you think about this painting? I said, I hate it. And now it's hanging on the wall in the hallway and I have to look at it every time I come home and leave the house. Can I just say, with your wife, though. What is that? Honestly, man, what is that?

50:28Mike Minogue:But with your wife, she has, I would assume she has better taste than you in art. She has different taste to me. And I think that's the point. And better by any standard. Probably, yeah. But the point is, I still should have a say. Now, why are you texting me? Why are you texting me? What do you think of this? I hate it. That implies that I've got some kind of a say as to whether we'll be spending God knows how much money on the bloody thing. That's the thing. And she's like, well, I love it. I'm buying it. And good on her for doing it. Because who the hell am I? No one. Exactly, you're old mogie.

51:04Mike Minogue:But the good thing is, for this person at least, the flatmate didn't spend a fortune on it. They just produced it themselves. But that means they're capable of producing more. Well, this is the thing.

51:13Keyzie:That's the danger, isn't it? As you go, oh, that's so great. That's fantastic. And it inspires her to do more. Especially if she's banged it out in a weekend. That's not a great piece of art. No. A great piece of art takes months.

51:25Mike Minogue:So what you've got to do is stop the art from being able to be produced. Yeah, you've got to really make her never want to pick up a brush again.

51:34Keyzie:Why doesn't he do some art? Great idea. Thank you. And, you know, a full nude sort of. Jase, you've absolutely nailed it. Absolutely nailed it. Some horrendous painting he does in his bedroom. You do this in your bedroom over the weekend, downstairs situations, whatever it might be, but really offensive sort of stuff. Yeah, and hang it up in the lounge. And then hang it up in the lounge. And she says, you can't hang it up in the lounge. Oh, why can't I hang it up in the lounge? Because you've got yours. You've got your one there. Okay, well, let's just agree. We can't hang our art up in the lounge.

52:09Mike Minogue:That's a great way to do it. There we go. The Hauraki Big Show. Weekdays from four on Radio Hauraki.

52:24When did we start with that music? I'm trying to think. This year, wasn't it?

52:28Mike Minogue:Oh, I reckon it was about a year ago. Oh, really? Probably. Cheese time flies, man. It really does. I like that.

52:34Keyzie:Hey, that's us for the week, fellas. What a week it's been. What's the podcast outro clip today, Keezy?

52:40Mike Minogue:Today's clip, I believe, is about Jace's second phone. And the podcast comes out at 7.30pm tonight. I knew it would be this.

52:48Keyzie:On my other phone. Boy, oh boy. No, no, no.

52:51Mike Minogue:You can have it on the same phone. Jace's got a whole other phone for looking at buzies.

52:55Keyzie:Yeah, I've got a buzzy phone. It's got a massive screen on it Yeah That's the cracked one It's an iPad No It's covered in Glad Wrap That's a true Shocking bastard True story eh Jase Yeah man True story Hey Mogey What's your plans this weekend? Well It's a bittersweet time in my life Jase Tomorrow is my Is my daughter's seventh birthday Wow Yeah That's flown by Seems like every bastard Has their birthday in June So my daughter made the decision that she doesn't want to have a birthday party, which is unbelievable. She's all about a party. And instead we're going to go away on holiday in a few weeks.

53:35So she's chosen that, which is great, but we'll go out for lunch tomorrow. Nice. But we've been dealing with around about 45 days worth of, in X amount of time, it's my birthday. In X amount of time, it's my birthday. And so that stops tomorrow. Nice. And I won't miss that. Did you give her the option of a party or going on holiday? Yeah, it was her idea. Yeah, she came up with it. Oh, wow. Yeah, yeah, yeah. That's cool. She came up with it because it would have also been that she would have had to have a joint birthday party with someone else because there's two other kids in her class that are Saturday Sunday, so no good, you see.

54:06Yeah, yeah. I said, because that was the idea that initially came back, I said, you will hate that, having to share the attention on your birthday. Yes. Horrendous. Yeah. Horrendous for a young child. No way. So anyway, we'll be out for lunch in a little bit of Waz. Yeah, beautiful. Tomorrow night.

54:24Mike Minogue:Keezy I was organising a bit of a pub watching session Of the Waz tomorrow And then I found out that I'd forgotten That some friends of ours with two little kids Are coming up from Tauranga And we're catching up with them tomorrow evening No It'll be good That's a disaster But I was really fizzed up to watch the Waz at this particular pub So I'll have to put that off and do that I don't know Next time That's a disaster Yeah No it's not I'm actually very excited Jase It sucks Well no it's great Jase what are you doing this week You man get a hot pot Put your boots on.

54:57Keyzie:Definitely the boots will be back in rotation tomorrow. I've worn these bastards two days in a row. Can you please wear them on weekdays, not weekends? I will wear them all the time, then. Look, as I say, the hot pot situation. Oh, yeah, got to go. Bye! See you Monday.