FULL SHOW: Christmas Chat Begins

14:36Keyzie:My youngest daughter comes out and regales me of tales of the man.

14:41Jase:Oh, right, does she? Yeah. So I started watching it most of the way through the first episode, and I think it's only going to get more and more disgraceful as it goes along. Amazing that he was doing it for 30-odd years with nobody saying anything. And this was only when he was back and he was just sort of producing parties and also working at this record label as an assistant to somebody. So he was nobody particularly special when he started doing this horrific stuff. So that was pre-Puff Daddy. Pre-Puff, yeah, man, well before. He was like 19 years old, 20 years old. He started putting on big parties in New York there.

15:21Jase:And pretty brazen, you have to say, pretty brazen stuff. Yes. Hiding out in the open there. So, yeah, he's in jail now, which is nice. And when he comes out, apparently he's got over 100 civil lawsuits that he's going to have to deal with. So lots more court for P. Diddy and hopefully more jail.

15:38Keyzie:Yes, well, interestingly enough on that front, I see that old Mr. Trump's looking to pardon him. Yes. In between naps? Yeah, maybe. What did you watch that on? It's on Netflix.

15:53Jase:I think, I wouldn't give it a rate. It's probably worth a watch, but a warning on the content, you know, it's pretty horrendous. I think it's a good warning tale, and people should probably watch it if they can get past the content. Yeah.

16:10Keyzie:Fellas, I don't really have a lot to offer. I was bits and peasy. I was going to say that. I was bits and peasy with the TV this weekend. It was such beautiful weather. I didn't actually watch a lot. Occasionally, a bit of cricket. Yeah. You know, the old ashes. We'll talk about that because I'm fuming. Yeah. And Pluribius.

16:30Jase:Oh, did you? Yes. How are you going with that? How many depths are you in?

16:33Keyzie:I'm hanging in there.

16:34Jase:Yeah. Yeah, I'm hanging in there. I was through the second episode and it sort of died off a bit for me, but I'm going to stick it out. Everybody says it's amazing, so I'm just going to shut up and get on with it. Pluribus. that's the Breaking Bad creators new show. That's right, on Apple TV.

16:46Keyzie:Just because they did Breaking Bad doesn't automatically mean this makes it a good show. No, but you would hope. You would hope, yes. I've fully tied a knot on watching from start to finish Peep Show, the UK comedy series. David Mitchell, Robert Webb, who are a couple of my favourite comedians. Nine series they did, Olivia Colman's in it, now Oscar winner.

17:08Jase:Yes. Such a brilliant sitcom, man. So funny. Every episode is on YouTube. and I was watching it on Watch Prime as well, but every single one is on YouTube. If you like UK comedy, check it out. Start to finish. Nine seasons of six episodes. All of them are great.

17:22Keyzie:Nine seasons? Of six episodes. I didn't realise that it was that many, actually. Because I enjoyed that too. Yeah, and to be honest, I didn't realise this, but I hadn't seen series eight and nine before.

17:33Jase:Yeah, I haven't watched it through at all. I've seen episodes here and there, but I've never watched it start to finish. Yeah, it's brilliant. Characters come back from earlier seasons and all sorts of stuff, and throughout the whole thing, they never, ever stop being pieces of shit.

17:45Keyzie:Yeah, that's why. It's absolutely brilliant. It's kind of like us. Four and a half buzzies. Four and a half buzzies. Woo-hoo! Hey, now listen, heaps coming up after five o 'clock, including we've got our giveaway, don't we, fellas? That's right. We will be calling someone who will be joining us in the Heineken Silver Tent for Chasing the Fox this Friday, Free Bears, watching Ryan Fox hit a golf ball while we broadcast live. Also a bit of Christmas tree chat.

18:15The Hauraki Big Show with Jase, Mike and Keezy. Tune in weekdays at four on Radio Hauraki.

18:21Keyzie:Welcome back, you massive backbones. Hope you're having a beautiful Monday afternoon. You're listening to The Big Show, by the way, brought to you by Ree Burgier. Crave-worthy street feud, freshly made with Ree Burgier. Ah, that's really quite yummy.

18:51Keyzie:Yum. Yeah, good stuff. Scrumptiddly umptious. Jizz. Sorry, fellas. I just got a bit carried away there. No, that's okay, man. I love the... Jizz. I spoke to my brother today. Oh. Oh. And he said to me, how's it going, Jizzbot? And it's just like.

19:20Jase:Is that your brother the cop? Yeah, yeah. So that's like one of your aliases now, eh? Also, aka Jizzbot. It's like, you know. Why do they call you that? I don't know, man. Because I don't call you that. But obviously everyone else in New Zealand calls you that.

19:36Keyzie:I blame Mogi. It's Mogi that came up with Jizzbot, I think. I don't know where it came from. Yeah. It just made sense to me, man.

19:42Jase:I just looked at you and I went, yeah.

19:44Keyzie:Just bought. Hey, coming up next, we're going to be talking about Christmas trees.

19:50Jase:Well, yeah, this is a tune as well, fellas. It's all right. Audio slave. You like audio slave, Jase? I do, actually. I don't mind them. Jase, are you a slave to audio? Yeah, man. The Hauraki Big Show with Jase, Mike, and Kesey. Tune in weekdays at four on Radio Hauraki.

20:06Keyzie:Queens of the Stone Age there on the radio. Hauraki Big Show this Monday afternoon. The time is ten minutes past five o 'clock. Fellas, I've got to say I was shocked, shocked over the weekend. Right. When old Mogi posted a photo on our chat there with his Christmas tree already fully erect in the lounge.

20:30Jase:I'll stop you right there. Kees, have we got any Christmas music, mate? Huh. Huh. That's good, man. Thank you. All right, continue, Jase.

20:40Keyzie:Where Mogi posted a picture of his Christmas tree fully erect in the lounge, and I was like, hang on, hold on here. What's going on? This is way too early, surely. Really? Surely. Well, this is the question, the conundrum that I have, Ray, Christmas trees. When? When do you erect them? Because I was talking to you before the show, and you were saying you put it up Christmas Eve, and then you take it down Boxing Day. Right. Yes. Yeah. And I go full pine. I don't do your fake carry-on.

21:18Jase:Well, the one that we got over the weekend was and continues to be a pine tree. You just want that smell in the house, fellas. You do.

21:25Keyzie:It's lovely.

21:25Jase:Now, the reason why it's up now is, and obviously I had a hangover yesterday. You think I wanted to go out and get that? No. You think I wanted to go out, do that by myself, pick it up, bring it home, lie on the couch while my wife and daughter decorated it, and I watch UFC and they listen to Christmas carols? Do you think I wanted to do that with a hangover? That's very, like, differing ends of the spectrum there. You're watching violets on TV whilst hungover, and they're decorating a tree listening to carols. I know. God, you're a piece of filth. I've told them to shut it on more than one occasion, I'll tell you what.

21:56Jase:I sort of feel like December, you're pretty good. And the reason why we've got it up now is because we're only there for two more weeks, and then we're going away for Christmas. Right, okay. My daughter's only going to get a very limited amount of time with that Christmas tree and even less time because it's only about as tall as her. Yes. It only goes up to about my waist. It's a tiny little tree. It is a little cutie. Cost me an arm and a leg still. Rip off bastards. But my understanding is it was universally the acceptance was the 1st of December. 100%.

22:22Keyzie:Oh, is it? Okay. Well, you see, I don't know this stuff. That was a week ago. I'm a little bit younger than you. Mate, you're 39 years old, for God's sake. But it's always, you know, my wife, I mean, God, I love her. Yeah. She's the most extraordinary woman. But she often, we get to the stage and it's like this constant question of, should we get the Christmas tree now? And I'm like, no. No. Why not? Well, because it seems too early to be. It's not. It's December. Christmas is in like how many days? Have you erected yours, Kesey? No, I haven't. and I feel like a bit of a Christmas Grinch, and my wife does too.

23:00Jase:Right, but if you haven't got kids, I can see why you wouldn't. But I've got a kid, and that's why it's there. Well, I've got... In December, it's totally acceptable. Some say after Thanksgiving in America, but certainly once you're in December, it's free, right, Joe? So if you're going to piss on it in November, come on, brother. Yeah. Come on, you're shocking. I think you should probably start on it, because I know how long it takes you to erect yours. Yes, it's true, actually. Ages. It does, and you're going to need a big ladder as well to get all the way up to the top there. Yeah. Put a little star on it.

23:29Keyzie:Well, I tell you what I do do. Do do. Do do. No, I'm not going to go there. I'm going to stop that train of thought right now. Yeah, good. It had to do with Christmas pyjamas. But listen, okay, look, I wrecked it. I've just never been sure about the exact... About when it is.

23:50Jase:Well, let us know on 3483. When is it an acceptable time? Because what are you saying, Jase, you think? It feels late enough now, 8th of December.

23:58Keyzie:I would go genuinely, I think 15th to the 20th would be acceptable. You know, that's still 10 days out.

24:07Jase:But then you still have to, if it's the 20th, it's five days out, and then you've got to take it down by the 27th, so you've got to look for a week. Yeah. Jeez, you're a... Oh, you're fun, Jase. The Hauraki Beat Show with Jase, Mike and Kesey. Tune in weekdays at four on Radio Hauraki.

24:23Keyzie:Wheezer. on the Radio Hodaki Big Show this Monday afternoon. It's 21 past five. Fellas, I've got a bit of a Christmas dilemma. Oh.

24:38So heading down to Christchurch. Again? Well, yeah, so I've got family down there, Jase. Do you? Well, family I'm married into. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. My wife's got family down there. Yeah, yeah, yeah. So we're going to be down there, I think, the 20th through till Boxing Day, then we fly back. The issue is, yesterday sat down with the father-in-law, and he's like, so when are you down? Because I've teed up a game of golf on the 21st with me and my mates, if you want to come join that. Yeah, cool. We'll play Family Ambrose on the 22nd, plus there's the classic Christmas Eve game that we play out, and blah, blah, blah, and then on Boxing Day there's a game as well.

25:13What time's your flight on Boxing Day? And my wife's sitting there like, so we're down for six days, and you've booked four games of golf.

25:20Jase:Well, you haven't. No, no, no, she was saying this to him. Ah, right. And then they're having a bit of a to and fro. Oh, yeah. And I'm just sitting there like, look, because I really like playing golf. I love spending time with the father-in-law. You know what I mean? Yes. That's a dilemma. I'm not getting it. You mean as opposed to spending time with your wife? Well, yeah, no, I don't want to say it like that on the radio because it sounds really bad, you know? Yeah, yeah. But as opposed to spending time with my wife, doing like, I don't know, going to visit Nan or I don't know. Yeah. You know.

25:54Jase:Because you were saying that she runs her yap, man, and it just wears you down over the holiday break. Did I? You said, I mean, I'm sure, yeah, runs her yap. My wife or Nan? That was it. Runs her yap. Yeah, runs her yap, which I'd never heard before. It's quite the turn of phrase. But it painted an appropriate picture. So I think you're going to need to break Keezy so that you can be at your best when you are with your wife because it's about quality time over the holiday period. Yeah. So I think you get yourself a nice time spending time with your father-in-law, and there's value in that as well.

26:25Jase:You can come back really happy because you're half pissed every day.

26:30Keyzie:Yeah, yeah, because we should also qualify the fact that every time you play golf with him, you get on the beersies afterwards. Well, just a couple, you know. Yeah, wow. Just because, you know, like, oh, I lost, I better buy you a beer. Oh, I'd give a gin shot there. Come home reeking of darts.

26:46Jase:Yeah, yeah. Yeah. So, yeah, it sounds like it's all good to me. Where did it sort of get to between your wife and the father-in-law? Well, he agreed that maybe it was a bit too much golf. Right.

26:58Keyzie:And you were in the background going, no, no, like this sort of, it's good, it's good. No, well, to be honest, I was sitting there already hung over, having played golf earlier the day before. Yes. And I was kind of like, maybe it is too much golf. And maybe I should spend some time with my wife while we're down south, you know. Yeah, right. Actually, you know, and to be fair to your wife, the way you're playing at the moment, you should probably give it a rest, Kesey. Just hang out at the clubs, mate. Just have a bit of a time out.

27:30Jase:How dare you? I tell you what, I've got to solve. Get your wife to caddy for you. That way you can spend all your time with her and she can share in your love of golf as well. You might get lucky, Kesey, and she wants to take up golf and then you can go golfing with her all the time. And then you never, ever, ever have to be a part. Yeah. Also, I'll never have to play with Hootie J again. Hey! Wow, that's a good idea.

27:58Keyzie:I mean, she could join when we're playing, Keezy. She could bring her Buzzy Biscuits. What the hell are you talking about? Buzzy Biscuits. They were lactation biscuits.

28:10Jase:That is a reference from four years ago. Buzzy Biscuits. lactation cookies that she makes for her friends who have just given birth. Delicious. Yeah, we're going to bring those to golf. Nah, just don't even worry about it. The Hauraki Big Show with Jase, Mike and Kesey. Tune in weekdays at four on Radio Hauraki.

28:28Keyzie:Velvet Revolver there on the radio. Hauraki Big Show this Monday afternoon. We're just having a bit of golf chat, fellas. We've got some great golf coming up this Friday for the entire team. Very exciting. That's right, Jase. This Friday is the next stop for the Radio Hauraki Swingers Club. We're going to be at Manuka Field, Chasing the Fox, playing Royal Auckland and Grange. The three of us are playing three ball Ambrose earlier in the day, the exact same course, the same six holes that Ryan Fox and all the other celebs will be playing later in the day. We get to do our own one earlier. We will then be broadcasting live from the Heineken Silver Clubhouse right by the final hold tee, getting amongst all the action.

29:05We'll be witnessing Jerry, who will be playing with Di Henwood and Team Media, and then Mania and G-Lane are broadcasting on TVNZ, commentating for the ACC. but it is time now to call a winner find out who is joining us in the Heineken Silver Clubhouse at Manuka Fuel chasing the fox fellas are you ready?

29:21Keyzie:Do they get to bring a mate? They get to bring a mate, they get drinks, they get food they get to hang with us while we broadcast live and watch all the action Let's do it man Alright let's do it, the guy's name is Mitchell Mitchell, okay, good stuff Who?

29:41Keyzie:Hello? Yeah, g'day. Is that Mitchell, is it? Yes, it is. G'day. Who am I speaking to? You're speaking to Hoity J, old Muggy and Keezy from the big show in Air Basset. How's life? Yeah, it's pretty good. You boys, how about yourself? Yeah, it's good. Yeah, it's good. Come on, mate. It's all day. We're going to Christmas. Christmas, we're going to New Year's now. My wife. Hey. Mitch, what do you do for a crust, mate? I am a groundsman. I do cricket wickets.

30:13Jase:You're joking. Oh, backbone. Backbone.

30:16Keyzie:What are you, Chisbert? Love that, man. What ground are you working? I work out in real South Auckland, so like Caracca. Oh, yeah, nice. Yep, yep, yep. Beautiful out that way. Hey, tell me, Mitch, do you like a bit of golf action, hanging out with the fellas? Yeah, I don't mind it. It used to be a green keeper on a golf course. Yeah! This is just so good! Man, hey, Mitch, well, great news for you, mate. You and a mate will officially be joining us this Friday at Chasing the Fox. Oh, awesome. Bloody awesome. Thank you very much, guys. No worries. You're welcome, mate. Looking forward to meeting you.

30:50Keyzie:We can chat turf. Have a couple of durries. Yeah, wow.

30:55Jase:You're probably too busy, though, are you, on Friday, man? You'll probably have to stay at work. Nah, I'll be prepping that strip by 12 o 'clock. Good on you, Mitch. And who are you going to bring with you, mate? I'm going to bring my other, probably my other greenkeeper, mate, Bryce. He works at a golf course at the moment, so I think he'll be pretty keen. Otherwise, if he's not coming, the old missus will come. Oh, yeah, beautiful, mate. Maybe not an old missus. Oh, yeah, you can say that. You don't want to bring your new one, man? Oh, no. No, she's too busy. Yeah, fair enough. All right, good for you, Mitch.

31:25Hey, you hold the lineman. Pug San will sort you out, man. And looking forward to meeting you this Friday. Awesome. Thanks, guys. Good on you, mate. Good on you, Mitch. there. You can ask him, because the audience won't know this, but your dream job, Jase, is to be a greenskeeper, isn't it?

31:37Jase:Totally, man. That'd be great. Was it being the greenskeeper or you said it was to run the golf club and so you'd sort of be out there and pressing the flesh with all the members and that sort of stuff.

31:47Keyzie:Yeah, I think that's more me maybe, you know what I mean? Really? But in Spain, though. In Spain.

31:53Jase:How is your Spanish? Si, si! The Hauraki Big Show. Weekdays from four on Radio Hauraki.

32:01Keyzie:Jane's addiction there on the radio. Houdaki Big Show this Monday afternoon. Fellas, can we have a bit of sport chat? Yeah! Yeah!

32:11Jase:I like sports!

32:18Keyzie:Which sports do you want to chat about there, fellas? Can I start with the ashes? I'm fuming. It's the only cricket I watch these days, to be fair. Apart from New Zealand, maybe, if I'm in studio. And I love the Ashes in Australia. And I've got to say, the Australians do a great job of the coverage. I can't really abide the commentators too much. I can barely handle them, but I do. I'm fuming because England's been handed two hidings in the first two tests. I think the first test was in three days. This one was sort of four days. I feel ripped off. The first one was two days. I was at two days, yeah.

33:02Keyzie:And it's all very well playing attacking cricket, but if you keep getting your ass handed to you, well, you've got to sort of reassess. But what really got deep inside my goat was watching Steve Smith bat in the final innings, and he was so over the top, irritating Australian cocky dick that it enraged me.

33:27Jase:Is there anything worse than a cocky dick? No.

33:31Keyzie:What about a dicky cock? You know, look, he took some good catches. He was all pumped up and fired up, and he was just so over the top. I was like, I can't bear this. I can't bear it. Jase, do you think Brendan McCullough might have to step down as coach? No. Do you think baseball can work?

33:49Jase:I think they've latched on to that term, haven't they? But Australia play cricket that is every bit as attacking as England. So it's just an attacking style. So baseball, it doesn't actually, it's just a stupid phrase. So Australia have been scoring faster and playing more attacking cricket in this than what England have. I think England's big problem is they can't put together any kind of pressure when they're bowling. They drop five catches. Yes. They've been playing like shit. And the reason for that is you can have the best team that you've had in 30 years, whatever you like. When you get into Australia and you're playing in that cauldron, you're under that media spotlight, you're under that pressure from the spectators and everything else, all of a sudden all the skills in the world that you thought you had when you're playing everywhere else in the world it dissipates or disappears completely and that's the beauty of Australia if you can win over there mate you are bloody good and they are getting their as you say Jase their arse is handed to us how long has it been since they've beaten Australia 25-30 years

34:44Keyzie:well it's yeah the last Ashes was two all but Australia held the Ashes so they retained it but and you know the last Ashes they were down by two England that time as well and came fighting back but they were playing at home but they were playing at home This is what the Australians do. They grind you down, slowly grind you down. I can relate. But Steve Smith, his behaviour was just infuriating to me. It's good to have somebody to hate, though.

35:10Jase:And I do want to touch on the Black Cats test against the West 50s there as well. And a huge shout-out to Justin Graves and Shy Hope. Graves getting 202, not out. Shy Hope 140. they somehow managed to bat through five sessions, conceding six wickets, if I remember correctly. They did incredibly well, even though New Zealand lost. They only had two pace bowlers and the rest were sort of part-time spinners, but still very difficult to bat all the way through five sessions, so credit there.

35:44Keyzie:I was speaking to G-Lane this afternoon, and he was fuming about that. Against the West Indies, and, you know, only needing 3.2 runs and over and just basically batted it out. It was like, what are you doing? You've done so well. And we had two bowlers down. Idiotic. Cricket question. My wife, you know how she's watching The Test on Watch Prime? Yes. The Test, it's about the Aussie team. Yes. It's her favourite show at the moment. Because she had a crush on the host of New Zealand Grand Designs. Yes. Boy, did she. Her new crush is Pat Cummins. Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah, he's a good-looking fella. But is he a good dude?

36:22Because I know Steve Smith's a pain in the ass.

36:23Keyzie:I think Cummins, yeah, he's pretty chill, and he's not full of himself.

36:29Jase:So you won't mind. Yeah, that's a good one for her to have, man.

36:31Keyzie:Yeah, I mean, if she goes out with Pat Cummins. If that's her hall pass. You can be totally cool with that, Casey. So it's okay if she likes Cummins. And he's a fiercely good-looking dude. Powerful. Powerful. He's not that powerful. He's got a big backslider on him. Powerful. Yeah, real big booty. He's got a big ass, really? He's got really amazing thighs, too. Right, okay. And apparently he's hung like a... Right. The Hauraki Big Show with Jase, Mike and Kesey. Tune in weekdays at four on Radio Hauraki. Billy Idol there on the Radio Hauraki Big Show this Monday afternoon. Jase, what kind of chairs do you have in your lounge?

37:10Keyzie:Wooden with leather pouches. Leather pouches? Well, what would you... Is that where you sit in them?

37:16Jase:You sit in a little pouch like a kangaroo.

37:19Keyzie:What the hell? It's like wood, beautiful Scandinavian wood with like a leather seating. Like a cushion. Black leather cushion. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Oh, well, it depends. In my lounge, are you talking my dining table or are you talking my lounge chairs? No, like your cosy watching telly chairs.

37:36Jase:Do you put your dining table in your lounge, do you?

37:37Keyzie:I've got two big green bastards and a beautiful tan leather couch. Right, and then you've got the wooden one with the pouches. Yeah, what do you put in the pouch?

37:47Jase:Your ass. Right, okay. What about you, Mogi? What kind of chairs do you have in your lounge? I've just got two couches. Yeah, same. I've just got a couch. Just two couches. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I've just got one. Yeah. Good news is, if I was a lot wealthier, I'll tell you what, I'd have a whole heap of lazy boy Neo X power recliners, eh, fellas? They're so good. We've got one sitting in here, and it's got the lot, man. You've got a little holder there for your iPad. You've got a place to charge your phone. It's got a remote controller. It's got a drinks holder. It's got presets. Yeah, it moves. There's like lumbar support.

38:21You can put your head forward, put your head back. You put your right leg in. You put your left leg out. You do that. So it's got cutting-edge comfort technology, a wireless remote, iPhone, iPad holders, cup holders, and the power recline so it moves up and down and you can adjust exactly how you like it. We are giving this exact one away. If you are keen, text the word LAZY to 3483. Get yourself in the draw to win. That's all thanks to Lazy Boy. Long live the lazy.

38:47Keyzie:So good, Keith. Hey fellas, coming up after 6 o 'clock I went to the beach yesterday and things got sexy The Hauraki Big Show with Jace, Mike and Keezy Tune in weekdays at 4 on Radio Hauraki Welcome back you massive backbones Hope your Monday's going along very nicely indeed You're listening to The Big Show brought to you by Keezy Brought to you by Come on fellas

39:20Serving good times and good food. Dine in or take away Reburger today.

39:28Okay, here it is. Is Reburger A. Yum. B. Yummy. C. Yum, yum, yum. Or D. Yeah. I really thought it'd be harder. Yeah, it's looking dead. You're looking in D? Yeah. For$1 million, the correct answer is D. $1 million. You just won it. I'm looking at the hell.

40:04Jase:I'll be interested to find out from Pugs why he used his own voice for a certain part of it there. That's the first time that's happened. Right. Do you want to hear from Pugs now? Is that what you're saying? Oh, yeah, man. Chuck them on. Pugs, you there, brother? What's the idea behind that, Pugsman? Hello. Hello, man. Yeah, there you go, mate. So you used your own voice for part of that? No, that wasn't me. That was just like a, what do you call it, a vox pop. And, you know, you do enough of these, you end up finding someone that's going to sound like you. Oh, right. No, it was you. How come you made the difference?

40:34Jase:What's that? How come you made that difference to have the character voice there, and then on the A, B, C, D, it's somebody else's voice. Sounds like you. Because the correct answer is obviously, yeah, I'm with a funny thing on it, right? That's the correct answer. So he needed to have the first three be very neutral. Oh, well, I'm asking pugs. Why? He's bang on the money, actually. It's about having a voice that's completely unfamiliar in the sting world. Man, you're good. This guy gets it. We learn stuff every day. It's unreal. It's great stuff. That idea was actually given to me by a friend.

41:12Oh, really? Really? Yeah, yeah. A friend of the show?

41:15Jase:What's that? A friend of the show? Yeah. Oh, wow. Well, what about this one here, Pugs? How do you explain this?

41:25Jase:So that's you, Jase. So that's Jase. I've never heard that one. Can you play that one more time?

41:35Jase:So we found out today that I think your family call you by that nickname, don't they? Yes, everyone does now. God, that's the last thing we need. Can we hear that one more time? Oh, this one.

41:46Keyzie:Cheers, bud.

41:50Pugs has been busy in the lab today, man. Hell, man. Do you like REM, Jase? Are you concerned that it's reinforcing it for you, Jase? Yeah, a little bit. The Hauraki Big Show with Jase, Mike and Kesey. Tune in weekdays at four on Radio Hauraki.

42:04Keyzie:Eddie Vedder there on the Radio Hauraki Big Show this glorious Monday evening. Now, fellas, are you planning on getting out on the water at all this summer?

42:13Jase:I don't actually have a plan to, but I would like to. Yes. I want to try and get over to Waiheke at some point. I've got an invite to go down to Coromandel. Nice. I'd like to go there as well. I've got lots of dreams, I guess, fellas. Over the New Year's. Oh, wow. I'll be down there at that point. Oh, will you? Yeah, I think Jerry's down there at that point as well. Oh, yes.

42:31Keyzie:I think I'm going to be down there at that point as well, fellas. Oh, I've changed my mind. I'll be in Cook's Beach. Oh. I think Jerry's in Pawanui. Oh, my God. I think I'm at Cook's Beach. Where's Cook's Beach? In the Coromandel. That's it. Dammit, that's the one. Are you actually there? No. Okay. Phew. Yes, yeah, we could hang out, man.

42:52Jase:Oh, I have a yantage here about that. Yeah, there's a few different spots I'm keen to get out to. It looks like we're going to have a hell of a summer, fellas.

42:58Keyzie:Yeah, she's smoking hot, I tell you what. Can you not objectify summer? The great news is we've got a boat to give away. We certainly do. And it's$75 ,000 worth of boat, can I add? Thanks to the legends at Finchaser Boats. They've outdone themselves of this beautiful beast. If you're keen to win it, text BOAT to 3483. Follow the link. Put your details in. You have to come up with a name for the boat. We've done this before. The previous boats were called the Punisher, the Real Wunder, Pablo Esca Boat, and the Salty Specimen. Can you top that?

43:30Jase:Yeah, tough. Good names. Now, I do want to be clear as well. I don't think the winner is decided on by the name, is it? Is it decided on by the name? I think so, yes. I've got no idea. Pugs. We might look into that. We'll let yous know, but I remember being surprised. I thought, oh, I thought it would have been by the name of the boat. No, I think it's done randomly. You know what I mean? And then whoever's randomly chosen, their name is put on the side of the boat. Yeah, yeah, yeah. So it's not like we all sit down and go, that's the best name. Yeah, right. It's just by luck of the draw. I'm pretty sure.

43:58Anyway, this is the sort of stuff we should really chat about off air.

44:01Jase:It doesn't matter, man. What is the boat I hear you asking, Jase? No. Well, it's a Fin Chaser 535. Alamino PXR3? No, not that one. on a Finchaser 535 center console with a Mercury 60 horse, four-stroke CT outboard. Horse?

44:17Keyzie:Yeah. That's a good boat. Horse, how do you know? Look, I used to own one of them. One of those? I did. Oh, you did? I did, yeah. Oh, wow. Yeah, yeah, yeah. When I used to live in the... How much did you buy that for? Oh, I got it off a mate, so I think it was about$68 ,000. Oh, wow. That's good, because it's worth$75 ,000, of course. This includes the Voyager trailer and all the bells and whistles as well, Jase. It's got bells and whistles. It's got bells and whistles. It's got so many things like, for example, a VHF communication system, a fusion stereo entertainment system, speakers throughout the boat, a Garmin Echo Map 7-inch fish finder.

44:55It only finds fish that are 7 inches long. Wow. Or more. In all seriousness, I've seen the boat.

45:02Keyzie:It is a beast, and you've seen it, Kesey. I've been on it. It is an absolute bastard of a boat. She's a beauty. That's a good thing, right? Yeah, a real good thing. That's a mad bastard. That's a good name for a boat. Bastard of a boat? You bastard. Text BOAT to 3483. Follow the link. Get yourself in the draw and you could be driving it. The Hauraki Big Show. Weekdays from four on Radio Hauraki. Violin Femmes there on the Radio Hauraki Big Show this Monday evening. Now, fellas, as we head into Christmas, it's a stressful time. And here we are, experienced men of the world, and I think maybe we can help some people out there in the world with a bit of advice.

45:39That's right, Jase. Meet Paddy Nips 69 at gmail.com. Get in touch. If you need advice, you can win a$50 re-burger voucher. Meet Paddy Nips 69. Guys, go to gmail.com to get in touch with the fellas. Stop butchering the sting.

45:59Keyzie:I thought I did it very well, actually, Keith. Same. You guys both were terrible. No, we'll don't go all quiet. We'll just agree to disagree, Keezy Okay, yeah As long as you guys aren't upset Son of a bitch What was that? I'll be holding on to that over Christmas, I can tell you An email here, there fellas Spit it out, there Come on, can you not butcher the reading of it? Keezy

46:31Jase:Can I have some advice for Keezy, man? Can you just get to it, please? Here we go Spit it out, Junior This is from Anonymous. G'day, fellas. Anonymous here. This one is mainly advice from Christopher. However, Michael and the Jizz Pot may have some tips on this as well. As you men have had to deal with Kesey's array of ailments throughout the time you gentlemen have worked together. Yes. Not really, though. I've just started getting eczema behind my knees at the age of 26. And I was just wondering if you had any of Mons home remedies or some tips that you experienced yourself to help with a debilitating illness.

47:08Cheers, Anonymous.

47:10Jase:This one's on you, Keezy. I'm not going for a dart.

47:14Keyzie:Interestingly enough, I discovered my wife's body butter yesterday. I didn't know she had a bottle of body butter, but I find that very good for dry sort of skin, especially in this weather where your skin gets dried out. Beef tallow? Yeah, a bit of burn action going on, bit of moisturiser? Moisturising eczema, I mean, isn't it like a fungal thing? Well, no, you tell us, geez. Well, to be honest, I haven't had eczema behind my knees since I was four. Yeah, so how'd you cure it? I don't know, I think... What was the secret? Had a home remedy.

47:47Jase:Well, there you go. I think it was body butter? Yeah, it sounds like body butter. A pottle of body butter. That sounds like the one. Well, it's probably eliminating things that you're allergic to. For my brother, it's dairy. Dairy. Actually, a lot of the skin and psoriasis and stuff is caused by diet. unfortunately.

48:05Keyzie:Yeah, but also in this heat, you get a bit of sweat action going on. You can get a bit of chafing. Chafing, but not excimer. Yeah, excimer's different, isn't it?

48:14Jase:So it sounds like, I don't know, are you in a new relationship? Are you eating something you've never eaten before? What's that being in a new relationship got to do with it? Oh, you know, your appetites expand. She might or he might be vegan. For example. Right. Well, look, these are all good questions to ask yourself. If not, just go to a chemist to show them the old eczema there and they'll give you something to treat it. Or go to a doctor, you sicko. Or go to a doctor. The Hauraki Big Show with Jase, Mike and Keezy. Tune in weekdays at four on Radio Hauraki.

48:56Keyzie:Well, there you go, you mad bastards. That's the big show done and dusted for your Monday evening. Now, listen, in the podcast outro today, I've got make an apology. We had to put another disclaimer on it. And it was purely my fault this time. I was filthy today and I don't know what got into me. Usually it's Mogi that kicks it all off. But it was my fault today and I'll own it. I think Mogi might have gotten into you. You know what I mean? Yeah, yeah. Oh really? He just got into my system somehow. Yeah, he entered your system. I mean this one was particularly filthy and I actually don't think it was.

49:32Keyzie:I do apologise.

49:33Jase:We've had worse. We've had way worse. If you don't like it, man, don't listen to it. I'll put it to you that way. If you don't want to listen to it, don't listen to it. Yeah, see if I can. If you want to get a little bit of filth going, sweet as. You want to play it in front of your kids? I wouldn't.

49:44Keyzie:No, don't. I wouldn't. Here's a clip of today's podcast outro. It comes out at 7.30 tonight. Bits flapping all over the place. Like a seal clapping. I just went, oh, my God. That's not, yeah. No, it's not. I just want to apologise to the audience. This has been a shocker and I started it. What was flapping all over the place?

50:06Jase:Yeah, I mean, what a phrase to use there. The thing about it is no one would ever guess what that was about. No. Never. No. Never, never, never.

50:15Keyzie:I'm trying to guess what you're getting up to tonight, Mogi.

50:19Jase:I don't know, man. I'm going to go home. It's another sunny, beautiful evening. I'll go home. I'm interested to see what's for dinner because I need a good dinner. Yeah. Do you know? I'm starving. The day, the hangover sort of day, and it wasn't the world's worst hangover, but you need a good meal on that day. But the Monday one, it's just as important. It's just as important. So I'm interested to see what we get there. Yesterday I had a tie, and it was absolutely awesome.

50:42Keyzie:Yeah, I love a tie. Like bow tie or neck tie? Food tie. Oh, like tie food. Speaking of food, Kesey, what are you having tonight? Because no doubt your wife's got squash or something. She's got touch rugby tonight, so she'll be home at about 8 o 'clock. so I'll get home first and I think I'm cooking up burgers, chicky burgers.

51:00Jase:How come you don't play touch rugby or anything? It's her work team. Oh, is it? Okay. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And I play golf now. Yeah, yeah, yeah. No, I just wonder because you used to play a sport together and I wonder why you don't anymore. I've told her. They've only just started so everyone there is really keen. Yeah. And I said, as long as the game's outside of show hours, I'd be keen to fill in if you ever need numbers. Sure. She's like, yep, sweet. Cool, okay. Yeah. No call up yet. Yep, sweet. No, not yet.

51:21Keyzie:But I won't. Hey, Jase, what are you doing tonight, man? Besides sitting in your wooden chair with pouches. Yeah. Leather pouches, Casey. Yeah, yeah. Oh, look, I'll go home. Okay. Oh, God. I think I might go to the gym tonight, actually. Oh, my God. No, you're not. And then... Have you cancelled your membership, man? No, I haven't. You need to. The weird thing is they've changed the name of it. So it's not even the same place anymore. The gym? And I'm still paying. So I've done a full rebrand since you've been there. Yeah, totally. All right, well, the music's stopped, so we'll see you tomorrow at 4 o 'clock.