FULL SHOW: Cooties n Nits

11:59Keyzie:Have you seen the buzzies I'm running at the moment?

12:01Mike Minogue:Oh, yeah. What are you like with heights, Jase? Just because obviously the second part of the Sky Tower Triathlon and you're doing wearing the hat and the boots is you've got to do the sky walk up the top, which is when you walk around the full outside at the very top of the sky tower.

12:16Keyzie:Yeah, look, I was really into doing that. Apparently Jerry's doing that, so that's his company. Oh, no, Jerry's pulled out. I'm not, you know, cutting his lunch, as they say. Yeah, right, okay.

12:26Mike Minogue:And, like, wait, are you scared of heights? Because I don't want you up there, you know, trembling in your boots.

12:29Keyzie:Well, I know that you've both said that you are. I am scared of heights. That's why I'm not doing it. But, no, look, no, I'm not scared of heights. That's amazing. I am. I am. I hate it.

12:43Mike Minogue:Yeah, same. That's why I'm not doing it. And full credit to you, Jase, for doing it, man. It's awesome.

12:47Keyzie:Thanks, man. Thanks, fellas.

12:49Mike Minogue:Kia kaha, Jase. Don't forget, text Lou to 3483 for a secure donation link, and that'll be happening tomorrow all day live from the top of the Sky Tower. The Hauraki Beat Show with Jase, Mike, and Keezy. Tune in weekdays at 4 on Radio Hauraki. Let's see who's joining Jerry and Manaya on the Export Ultra Grand Final Bear Garden Tour.

13:11Keyzie:Yeah, I believe that's all wrapping up next Wednesday, fellas. Yeah. So you've got to get in there quick, smart, if you want to win this trip for you and a mate to go to Sydney, watch the Grand Final, have amazing accommodation, go on a harbour cruise, go to the races. Bloody good time had by all. One of the great prizes. It is.

13:29Mike Minogue:Who would you take with you, Muggie, if you won? Great question, Keezy. Hmm. I'd take Jase because I know how much he loves the shopping over there. and the league as well, I suppose. I only loves the league. Yeah. If you were given$500 spending money, Jason, taken over to Aussie, what would you buy?

13:49Keyzie:Oh, probably a nice new jacket or something like that. Really? Full length.

13:53Mike Minogue:Oh, yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

13:55Keyzie:Maybe a nice blouse.

13:58Mike Minogue:It'll look lovely. That's right. Jerry and Minaya and G-Lane heading over to the grand final as well. It's going to be bloody great. I'm very, very, very jealous, especially if the Waz make it through to the grand final. Let's go to the Lions. I'd take Kesey. Oh, thanks, man. Not. Oh, not, Joe. Good stuff. Hey, Kieran, man, how you going?

14:17Keyzie:Oh, not bad. How are you? Yeah, good. Thanks, Kieran. Tell me, Kieran, how's your day going? Oh, it's not bad. Yeah, good. Yeah. Yeah, nice. What do you do for a crust? I'm an engineer. Oh, backbone. Backbone. Yeah, nice. Nice.

14:33Mike Minogue:Hey, Kieran. Kieran. He said yes. Yes, he said yes, Keezy. Come on, man. Oh, never mind.

14:41Keyzie:It's all G. Hey, Kieran, who would you take with you if you were lucky enough to win? We'll probably go to the boys. Oh, yeah, the fair backbone. Good on you, mate. Good on you, Kieran. You're in the draw, star on the line, mate. Oh, g'day, Clayton, you mad bastard. How's life? Life's good. How are you? Yeah, very well, thanks, Clayton. Clayton, you mad dog. How did you come up with the name Clayton, brother? You don't hear Clayton too often.

15:06Mike Minogue:Yeah, I did choose it myself. Yeah, I put a bit of thought into it when I was in the womb.

15:09Keyzie:It's a hottie, babe.

15:11Mike Minogue:It's a good name.

15:13Keyzie:It's all right. Good on you, Clayton. What do you do for a crust, Clayton? I'm a teacher. Oh, back, mate. What age are we looking at here? College age. School of hard knocks, man. Do you tell them what for? I tell them what for. I show them what for as well. Yeah, good on you. Good on you. That's a one, mate. Now, listen, we don't want the other fellas that you're going with potentially having a good time. Do you have the ability to sort of booby trap and sabotage this trip?

15:41Mike Minogue:I think I could do that, sure.

15:42Keyzie:Yeah, yeah, good. Good on you, Clayton. Good.

15:45Mike Minogue:All right, you're in the draw, Clayton. You hold the line, all right? Clayton's in the draw, man. Beautiful, thank you. Good on you, mate. Yeah, nice stuff, fellas. I reckon Clayton would be a mad dog. Have you heard that phrase before? Yes. Mad dog. Yeah, a mad dog. Like a dog that's got rabies or something. Yeah, pretty much, with the human equivalent. Oh, wow. So he'd, like, bite people and stuff. More chances to get in draw. Just keep listening to Hauraki. I used to do that on the fire water when I was a younger man. Bite people. If I've been drinking whiskey. God. Affectionately, but they still didn't like it.

16:14Nipping them. Yeah. Yeah, right. You know what I mean? Chase? Yeah, man.

16:19Mike Minogue:Here's the strokes. The Hauraki Big Show. Weekdays from four on Radio Hauraki.

16:26Keyzie:Soundgarden there on the radio. Hauraki Big Show this Wednesday afternoon. Let's talk TV. What's on the telly with Mike Minogue.

16:40Yeah.

16:42Keyzie:And I was thinking, fellas, that maybe we should let Keezy kick off today because he was going to watch Broken Wood Mysteries today and I'm very, very eager indeed to see how old Keezy found it.

16:56Mike Minogue:Last Sunday, the episode of Broken Wood Mysteries aired that heavily featured Jace, your character Ray. Ray-ness. And he was heavily tied up in the storyline of this particular mystery. It was on TVNZ1, Channel 1, I assume. I'm not sure. I watched it on TVNZ+. TVNZ +, yeah. Anyway, started, put it on, and my wife was like, I'm not feeling this. Let's watch something else. Let's watch this another time. And I was like, sweet as, man. So I haven't watched it. but we've watched the first episode of a UK comedy called Can You Keep a Secret? I don't care. Last night I watched Maternal Instinct on Netflix.

17:31It was a documentary about this mad woman who fakes a pregnancy. Shocking bastard. What was it called? Maternal Instinct. Oh, I nearly switched on to that last night. Yeah, I'd give it a miss. You sort of plough all the way through and it's like, oh, get on with it. And then you find out what she did and I immediately turned it off. I didn't want to know any more about it. I don't know. It's pretty full on, man. So she was just lying. She got herself a fake belly, all that sort of stuff. Then her family found out that she was lying and it was actually impossible for this human being to have children, it turned out.

18:05But she kept on going with the lie and then she sort of developed a plan to steal a baby. But once I found out what it was, I was over it. So I wouldn't recommend watching it. One busy out of a possible five, and that's on Netflix, Maternal Instinct. Good stuff. I watch Broken Wood Mysteries.

18:21Keyzie:Did you actually watch it? And if you want quality drama, boy, give this a skip. Nah. Are you trying to get the sack? No, I didn't actually watch Broken Wood Mysteries. I have that thing where I don't like watching anything I'm in. No, no, it's smart. I don't like watching anything you're in as well. Yeah, what a sell would turn out. And again, I'm very disappointed in your wife. She keeps putting it off. Do you know what the reason is?

18:49Mike Minogue:It's 90 minutes long. That is a movie.

18:52Keyzie:But you guys could break it up over your normal viewing sessions. You could break that down over five nights. Skeezy. Chase, you're begging, man. It's disgusting. You're begging me to watch Broken Wood. I mean, as soon as Game of Two Halves comes out, man, I'm on that. Who was on last week's episode? I sprint home almost because I'm so enthusiastic. Who was on last week's episode?

19:15Mike Minogue:No, you don't watch me. I don't watch you, man. That's the relationship. And so it hurts a little bit. It hurts. Well, it's on tonight, 7.30 on Sky. Are you going to watch it? Yes.

19:28Keyzie:I mean, do you even need to? And can I just say, I'm giving up my first five buzies of the year. Don't ruin the, what is it called?

19:38Mike Minogue:The integrity of the buzies rating system. Thank you. By throwing out a fake one like that. It's not fake, man. Even though if you watched it, you probably would give it a genuine five buzies.

19:46Keyzie:Yeah, well, totally. I have watched it, and I'm giving it a genuine five buzzies. Who was your favourite?

19:54Mike Minogue:You were, Keasy. Of course, other than me. I was the host, though, so it doesn't count. You were, my friend. Which team member did you like the best?

20:01Keyzie:Oh, I just thought I was sort of transfixed with the way that you were hosting it.

20:05Mike Minogue:Oh, okay.

20:06Keyzie:Because I knew that you were under the gun because you had to fill in for the great Laura McGoldrick. I wasn't under the gun at all. It was well within my abilities. And you just absolutely nailed it, man. Thanks, man. Jeez. Any work-ons? Oh, look, we can talk about those off air because I don't want to take away from the glow I felt of pride of your performance.

20:29Mike Minogue:Yeah, good stuff. Okay, yeah. I actually watched Broken World. I was lying. I did watch it. Oh, my God, Jase. Your performance was so good. Yeah, thank you, man. It was so believable. Thank you. And the way you were like, oh, I didn't do it, you know? I was transfixed by it. Six bullsies out of six.

20:46Keyzie:Yeah, now you're talking. Yeah, yeah, yeah. You must check it out. Yeah, good stuff.

20:51Mike Minogue:The Hauraki Big Show with Jace, Mike and Keezy. Tune in weekdays at four on Radio Hauraki.

20:58Keyzie:Yeah, welcome back, you massive backbones. Hope you're getting through your hump day tickety-boo. You're listening to The Big Show brought to you by Reburger. Serving good times and good food. Dine in or take away Reburger today. Reburger. Yeah, good stuff. I'm a little bit upset, actually, fellas. Well, is that you catch a look of your boots and the reflection in the window?

21:19Mike Minogue:Hey-oh! Hey-oh! Jase is wearing women's boots. Just, it's important to catch people up who aren't aware of what's happening. It's a little bit of a vibe of Daisy Duke from The Jigs of Hazzard. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. 100%. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

21:33Keyzie:And I've got the cut-offs to back that up, Jokey. Yeah, I would love to see that. But no, that's not why I'm upset. I love my boots. Why are you upset, Jase? You know when you're sort of, because Wednesday night now and our household's kind of going out night. Oh, is it? We've had four home-cooked meals in a row. Enough's enough. Right. You know what I'm saying? That's good for you, actually. And so it's like, no, no, we're going out. And, of course, I make my suggestion and my wife's like, I'm not really into that.

22:05Mike Minogue:Oh, I see what's happening.

22:06Keyzie:And I'm like, oh, what?

22:08Mike Minogue:It's because the suggestion of yours is the same restaurant. You are obsessed with this. And I do the same thing. I get obsessed with the same dish from the same restaurant, and that's all I want to eat. And then I'll try and suggest it, and then my wife will be like, we've had that like five weeks in a row. I think she's probably not thrilled about going out in public with you in those boots. She loves them, man.

22:26Keyzie:She has been nothing but encouraging the whole time.

22:30Mike Minogue:You know what you could do that your wife might be into? Just see. Oh, here we go. God, what? Easy.

22:36Keyzie:what could we do that my wife would be into?

22:40Mike Minogue:They do those dinners where the entire room is dark and the waiters are blind. But I still think they'll be able to sense your boots.

22:52Keyzie:I still think they glow in the dark. A certain amount of heat comes off. And I don't think a hot pot scenario in the dark is going to work very well. No, no, no. You wouldn't still get a hot pot. Chase, you've got to move on from the hot pot. I'm not doing it, man. Okay. Hey, next up, I've got a personal question I need to ask you, fellas. It was a trauma that I went through as a child, and I'm wondering if you went through the same trauma. Oh, yes. Oh, wow, okay. But that's up next. In the meantime, here's Arctic Monkeys.

23:20Mike Minogue:The Hauraki Big Show with Jace, Mike and Kesey. Tune in weekdays at four on Radio Hauraki.

23:26Keyzie:Stone Temple Pilots here on the Radio Hauraki Big Show this Wednesday evening. The time is 14 minutes past five o 'clock, And I've got to say, fellas, you know, it's been an interesting week for old Hoody J with my new boots, you know, and stepping outside the box and being a bit different. Yeah. You know, and I know that – don't get me wrong, I know there's a lot of fans out there for my boots. Well, we're very supportive of it. Yeah, I know you guys are too. I mean, you guys love them. Why do you think we keep going on and on and on about them? Yeah, totally, totally. But it's actually taking me back to a time where I'm sort of feeling a little bit volny.

24:09Keyzie:Right. And that's when I was at primary school. And it was a time when...

24:14Mike Minogue:Did you accidentally wear your sister's boots to school?

24:16Keyzie:I was going to say. Yeah, were they making you wear a woman's boots? We didn't have shoes back then. Oh. It was just barefoot on the frosty grass. Right, and you were painted toenails or something.

24:27Mike Minogue:Is that it? No, Keezy. I'm just trying to figure out where you're going with this, man. Sorry.

24:32Keyzie:And I was curious because it was the only time in my life I can compare to this time where I, you know, because I'm a bit out there. Right. And that was the time when I was about six years old and I was at school and I got cooties. You actually caught cooties? Yes, I got cooties. And I don't know what it was like at your primary schools. I mean, I know you spend a lot of time at home, Kesey, in your bubble. In a bubble, yeah. So you didn't spend a lot of time at school. But where I was, getting cooties was like persona non grata. You were shunned. You were ridiculed. You were isolated. And I'll never forget the feeling of the teacher going around the classroom doing a cooties check.

25:22Keyzie:Oh, you got nits? Yeah, nits. Not do anything in pubic life.

25:27Mike Minogue:No, no, I thought cooties was like just a made-up thing that you catch cooties. Oh, no, no, no, no. Yeah, that was the name for nits. Oh. Yeah, yeah, nits. You got cooties.

25:35Keyzie:And a teacher going around, everyone in the classroom. Yeah. And the only one that had cooties, a.k.a. nits, was Hoity J. So you were patient zero. You were the outbreak monkey. I was. Yeah. Yes, if you want to look at it like that. And I was immediately ostracised into the corner of the room. They may have even given me a hairnet. A hairnet. And so if you can imagine a little six-year-old hoody Jay with a hairnet in the corner and everyone going, oh, Jace has got cooties. And my question for you, and I know it's a personal one, did you guys ever get cooties? Yes. Oh. Yeah, I'm sure I had them.

26:14Everybody did. You've got that beautiful soft scalp, you see. Yes, I've got very lush hair. And they go through the school kids like bloody wildfire. I remember we had the public nurse came in. and there was a few solutions that you could have for it. The first thing you had to do was shave all your hair off. Yes. They also had a steel comb. Right. And I remember the nurse there explaining that if you comb the hair, then that takes the legs off the knit. Yes. So they're then unable to grip your scalp. But you're telling this to children. Yes. We're about seven or eight, and one of the boys in the class said, you know, does it hurt the knits?

26:53when you come through with a comb and you rip off its legs. Yes. This kid was really sensitive and really worried, and the teacher made him feel all right, saying, well, how would you feel if you were sitting there at lunchtime and somebody came along and chopped your arms and legs off when you were trying to eat your sandwich? And I felt that was a good point. Yeah. Yeah, yeah, it's well handled. And then the other option was then they would put your head, they would dunk your head in sort of a 44-gallon drum of kerosene. Right.

27:23Mike Minogue:Because at my school, they just put mayonnaise on your head. Yogurt. Mayonnaise.

27:28Keyzie:Are you serious? Come on, man. But also, of course, the steel comb mogy was for the eggs as well. Yeah, that's right. They were great. But funny you should say that because the only thing that's ever worked in my life, and for my own kids, was kerosene, and then you wrap their heads up in glad wrap. That's right. And it kills the little bastards. Oh, yeah, they hate it. They hate it. Broken legs and kerosene action going off. So you rip the legs off the bastards and then you drown them in kerosene. And then you wrap them up in glad wrap.

28:00Mike Minogue:Yeah, right. They hate it. Yeah, totally, man. They're a weak species. Right, so this is the closest you've felt wearing the new booties.

28:08Keyzie:Yes.

28:09Mike Minogue:Is when you had cooties.

28:10Keyzie:It's like me sitting in classroom again as a six-year-old with my hairnet on and everyone just going, oh, Jason, ooh, he's got cooties. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

28:18Mike Minogue:And now it's like, ooh, he's got those booties. He's got those boots on. I want to wrap them in Cooties and booties I want to light them with kerosene 3483 Stories from when you've had cooties please Yes I've never had them Ever

28:31Keyzie:I find that very hard to believe Keezy

28:33Mike Minogue:The Hauraki Big Show With Jase, Mike and Keezy Tune in weekdays at 4 On Radio Hauraki

28:40Keyzie:Radiohead there on the radio Hauraki Big Show This Wednesday evening The time 5.26 fellas Jeez the time flies We're talking cooties

28:51Mike Minogue:Yeah. Otherwise known as head lice. What did you call them, Keezy? Someone's texted through here, which is what we used to call them at home, kutus. Yeah, kutus. They'll be derived from, won't it? Yeah, I thought that was just a saying, like a thing that didn't exist, like, oh, you'll catch cooties. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I didn't realise it actually meant nits. Yes. Yeah. And you gave out some advice, which was to dunk a child's head into kerosene. Kerosene, yeah. A few people texted and go, hey, you should probably not do that. Well, I'm not saying that you should do it. I'm saying that's what happened to me.

29:20Yes. 100%.

29:20Mike Minogue:What happened to you specifically? Oh, yeah, yeah. We used to bathe in it. When you had nits? Anytime.

29:28Keyzie:What we used to do is put it on the comb and then comb it through. Oh, that rings a bell. But I'll be honest with you. You know, obviously, don't be going dousing your head in kerosene. Clearly. Come on, yeah, wake up. Clearly.

29:40Mike Minogue:A lot of people texting in on 3483. Dwayne says, God, it's like listening to my granddad talk about his war stories. Come on, Dwayne, man. Chase hasn't been a war man. Yeah, I reckon. He wouldn't be able to get into war wearing those boots.

29:53Keyzie:Yeah, yeah. Well, I couldn't get into war. He had terrible blisters. I couldn't get into war because I want flat feet.

29:59Mike Minogue:Flat feet, yeah. Yeah. Although if you wear those boots with the big heel. Yeah, that's true. They might not be able to tell. I might scramble through. Jory's wife is a teacher. She's had cooties about four times. Yeah, gross. Normally when you become an adult, you're ruled out from being able to get the cooties because your scalp toughens up over time.

30:17Keyzie:And here's the other thing that comforted me at the time, which was the theory that you only get cooties if you've got clean hair. They don't really like dirty hair. I reckon that's a yarn.

30:26Mike Minogue:Yeah, I wonder if that's a yarn. Like they're trying to do good PR for the kids who do have cooties? Yes. Someone here said they got drenched like a sheep. A sheep, yeah. Yeah, yeah. And never got cooties again. Jase says definitely got cooties, but it was the ringworm that ostracised me amongst my peers. Did you ever get ringworm? I never had the ring.

30:47Keyzie:No, I never got the ring either.

30:49Mike Minogue:Because that's when you get a circle on your skin. Yeah, there's a circle on you. Yeah, you're sort of being branded. Yeah. It's not a great look. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

30:57Keyzie:Did you guys get like skull sores? Skull sores, what are they? What are skull sores? Well, they're like kind of pusturally kind of scabby. Where? Just on your body. I mean, I never did. No, yeah, yeah. Sounds like you did. No, no. There's nothing wrong with it, man. And you're only a kid. Well, that's right.

31:17Mike Minogue:You're only a kid covered in sores. That's weird. Ew. Was it? Someone was saying, maybe it was you, Jase, saying people thought you had a hickey on your neck, but it was actually ringworm. Was that you? No, Kesey, that was not me. No, no, Jase's one was where he told everyone he had a hickey, but it was actually he used a vacuum cleaner. Yeah, that's true. Oh, yeah. The Hauraki Big Show with Jase, Mike, and Kesey. Tune in weekdays at 4 on Radio Hauraki.

31:46Keyzie:Yes, Soundgarden there on the Radio Hauraki big show this Wednesday evening. The time is 5.38.

31:53Mike Minogue:Fellas, Tuesday next week after the show, we're going to be seeing this live.

31:57Keyzie:Oh, dance, dance, dance to my ten guitar.

32:04Mike Minogue:I thought this day would never come. I know, man. It's here. You're right. It felt like it took forever to get here. It came so quick. I love Inglebert Humperdinck. He's here in town and we've managed to secure... What, now? No, I don't know, maybe. Imagine that. What if Inglebert's here somewhere right now? How cool would that be?

32:24Keyzie:Yeah, how cool. Well, he probably needs to have five or so days of rest when he travels, probably.

32:32Mike Minogue:Yeah, fair enough, too. He's come a long way. He's earned it. Yeah, he certainly has. He has earned it and he's also 90 years of age. Wow. So I've managed to secure double passes for the four of us, including Pugs. All the partners are going. It is another big show date, which I'm very excited about. Dinner beforehand, you know, catch up, have a bit of dinner, all of us. Yeah, nice. A formal sort of outfit sort of situation. However, I was thinking, why don't we go to the store that Pugsan went to to get his beret and his full outfit and get some outfits that are period correct to go to Inglebert Humperdinck.

33:09Mike Minogue:What do you reckon? Well, the trouble with that is he's been through about 80 different eras.

33:13Keyzie:Yes, I was going to say, what period are we specifically going with here, Keasy? Do you go with the 30s or the 40s? Of course, then there's the 50s, 60s. 60s are very stylish. 60s are rather old. 70s just go. 80s, you know, sort of the hair. 90s grudge. Maybe 90s.

33:30Mike Minogue:What do you go with? There's so many options. 80s, 90s, and today. I suppose we go, what era are your boots from, Jase? because we should avoid that era. Oh, no, they're way too modern, man.

33:41Keyzie:They're way too modern.

33:42Mike Minogue:Well, I was thinking like, you know, the glory days when he was singing with Tom Jones and stuff and crooning, you know, and all the women. So maybe your sort of 80s? No, it was earlier than that. 60s. Yeah. 60s. I'm probably just going to wear a suit because I've got a suit. I've got like lots of suits. I'll wear a suit. And what are you going to wear? Are you going to sort of wear an old? Well, I was going to go to the store that Pug's got his like beret full outfit from. He's like, they've got heaps of cool old suits and stuff. So you're going to wear a beret? Well, no, they don't just sell berets.

34:12Keyzie:Yeah, I know, but would you wear one if there's one there?

34:17Mike Minogue:Sure, I will wear a beret to Inglebert Humperdick, which is a sentence I never thought I'd say. 100%. Maybe we all wear a beret.

34:26Keyzie:I've got some flares. And I can wear them with my boots. Yeah, I in a pair of board shorts.

34:37Mike Minogue:Mogi, you can't wear boardies to Inglebert Humperdinck, all right? But that would be like the 70s, you know, when surfing was sort of real big.

34:44Keyzie:I've got a couple of medallions. Like necklaces? Yeah, yeah.

34:48Mike Minogue:I was picturing like beef medallions for some reason.

34:51Keyzie:We've got a couple of those in the fridge at the moment too,

34:53Mike Minogue:just buy the bike easy. So you guys don't like the idea of going and getting retro suits? I think we should go and try and look good. and I just don't know if, you know, Hoity J wearing a beret and those boots is going to do it. I think that would be great, don't you? Yeah, I'll tell you what. Why don't we do that? Why don't we agree that we're going to do that and Jase will meet you there? Yeah, yeah, yeah. We'll go separately, Jase. What do you reckon?

35:19Keyzie:So you want me to go to the costume place? Yeah. Get a costume.

35:24Mike Minogue:Or just say to him, hey, can I have something that matches these boots? Yeah. and then he'll give you like a corset. Yeah, let's do that.

35:35Keyzie:Okay, I'm in.

35:36Mike Minogue:Yeah, cool. Tuesday night next week, fellas. How good.

35:39Keyzie:Yeah, man, good stuff. In the meantime, here's ACDC.

35:44Mike Minogue:The Hauraki Big Show, weekdays from four on Radio Hauraki.

35:48Keyzie:Yes, indeed. Jimmy Eat World there on the Radio Hauraki Big Show this Wednesday evening. The time is 5.49, fellas. And I'll tell you what, pretty soon on my Insta account, I'm going to send out my new sort of range of pictures that I've been taking on my new phone, the new Huawei. It's a Samsung. Well, it's a Samsung, yeah. And I'll tell you what, I absolutely love it. I love it. However.

36:14Mike Minogue:No, just for the listeners, you had a really, really old phone. The screen kept coming off. It was held together by Sellotape. And all your photos, which I miss now actually, were really shit. and our boss just one day just felt sorry for you and just got you a new phone.

36:28Keyzie:And you guys were outraged at the state of my phone. I mean, to be honest with you, I didn't care, but boy am I loving having a new one. I mean, you're getting the pics I'm sending you, right? The quality is just, you can see every little detail, can't you?

36:43Mike Minogue:Yeah, I kind of wish I wasn't. I kind of want to get you back to a phone that didn't have a camera on it.

36:48Keyzie:Right, yeah. Have you got nervous photos? I haven't seen any, no. The only bugbear I have, the only issue that I have with a new phone is that it's constantly requiring me to update it all the time. Is that a thing with new phones? It's like new software, you've got to update, I turn it on in the morning, you've got to turn your phone off or turn it on and update it. It's just going on forever. Why can't you just, why do I need all the updates all the time? You know what I'm saying? I feel like we have to just sit you in a chair, a nice comfy chair, Put your feet up, watch a bit of telly, and just wait this life out, man.

37:21Keyzie:Yeah, I feel that way myself. You know what I'm saying?

37:25Mike Minogue:So, Jase, every night do you turn your phone off? No. You leave it on every night? Well, you know, yes. Is it off or on every night?

37:35Keyzie:Well, I guess I turn it off, yeah. Wait, what? Well, I go. That is so confusing. Yeah, I turn it off. Why? Well, why not? because I don't want it bleeping and carrying on while I'm trying to sleep.

37:48Mike Minogue:Yeah, right, right, right. So you turn your Samsung Huawei off, I think, at night, overnight. That's when it updates automatically. So what you're doing is it's telling you that it needs to update. You're turning it off so it can't update. Then when you turn it back on, it's saying, I need to update, and you're going, the sky is falling. Yeah. And then that night, you turn it off again. You turn it on again the next day, it says again, I want to update.

38:18Keyzie:My issue is not that. My issue is does it have to update every day? No. Is that a thing? One update. The problem is it hasn't updated at all because you keep turning it off. So you've got to keep it on all the time to update it all the time.

38:32Mike Minogue:No, not all the time. Just if there is an update coming. Which would be once every six weeks, two months, three months.

38:38Keyzie:Well, I've had updates every day since I've had it. Because you haven't updated it. You've had a notification that it needs an update, but you haven't actually pushed the button to make it update. That's the problem. So that notification you're getting every day is pertaining to exactly the same update. No, but I have updated it. I pushed the button and it's gone fully updated. That's my point. And then the next day it's going, we've got new stuff. We need to update it again. Tell you what, it's weird because it's only happening to you. Yeah, that's crazy. I mean, do you get that on your iPhones?

39:12Keyzie:No. This is what I mean, I've never had it before

39:16Mike Minogue:So I'm like, what's going on here? I reckon there's something wrong with it I think you should ask our manager Todd To switch it to a different phone Yeah, get you back to the old phone

39:24Keyzie:Well I still got that actually, it's on my bedside table I go to it when I'm getting stressed out

39:29Mike Minogue:Yeah right, and do you turn that off or on overnight?

39:31Keyzie:Oh it doesn't turn off or on anymore It's just It just is

39:38Mike Minogue:Here's David Bowie You shouldn't be allowed to phone The Hauraki Big Show with Jace, Mike and Keezy. Tune in weekdays at 4 on Radio Hauraki.

39:48Keyzie:Don't fight it indeed. You're listening to The Big Show brought to you by Reburger. Crave with his street food, freshly made with Reburger.

39:56Mike Minogue:Oh, what's going on there, Keezy? You forgot to swallow all that spit.

39:58Keyzie:That massive amount of saliva in your gob.

40:01Mike Minogue:Reburger. Reburger.

40:07Have you ever had that happen before?

40:11Mike Minogue:I don't know what you're talking about. We'll have to get Dilly to clip that off so we can play it back. Now, Mogi.

40:17Keyzie:No, we don't need that.

40:18Mike Minogue:It's just a waste of resources.

40:21Keyzie:You were telling us yesterday that your wife was on a date with an old school friend last night and they went out to dinner. I would say school chum. School chum. Yeah. Old flame. Yeah. Yeah, maybe an old flame. And that for dinner last night, you had four crackers and some hummus. Yeah, I was telling you today that I wasn't sure what I was going to have for dinner last night because my wife was going out for dinner, so I was going to be interested to see what was awaiting for me because obviously I work sort of 14, 15, 18 hours a day, so I just want to see what I was going to get when I got home.

40:53Jack shit. I think that's fair enough. So I had three crackers actually, Jase, and some hummus, and I consider myself lucky. Did you put any dachar on that hummus? It already had some dachar in it, actually, some dachar on top. The hummus or the cracker? The hummus. Cracker? Cracker.

41:11Mike Minogue:So you had a cracker? No, I had three crackers. With hummus. Hummus. And dukkah. And dukkah.

41:18Keyzie:What did you have, Keezy? Or more importantly, what are you having tonight? Because I remember last night was disappointing again, I think.

41:23Mike Minogue:No, last night I actually had meatballs on mashed taties. Couple of them meatballs. That's right, couple of meatballs. There was actually about six of them I had, which was nice. They were delicious. Really nice. How many can you fit in your mouth at once? I mean, I don't know how that's relevant, but probably four. Oh, I'd like to see that.

41:44Keyzie:Four meatballs in your mouth.

41:46Mike Minogue:Yeah, I reckon I could. Yeah. Wow. How many meatballs do you think would fit in your mouth?

41:52Keyzie:Oh, I'm not a big fan of meatballs. I'd only do one at a time. Yeah, and I'd probably cut it in half anyway. I wouldn't chuck a whole ball in my mouth.

42:00Mike Minogue:Certainly not four. I thought we were just having some fun with meatball chairs. all good, man. Was it pork mince meatballs or beef meatballs? Good question. No, it wasn't. It was beef. Oh, nice. So I was a bit iffy on it when I first heard about it. I was like, well, they should be pork mince. But then I, you know, as soon as I had tasted one, couldn't help but put four of them in my mouth. Yeah, man. Were your cheeks a bulging? Yes. Gobble, gobble, gobble. That's right. Yeah, yeah. What did you have, Jase? Last night. Nah, don't worry about it, actually. Everlast? Sure. The Hauraki Big Show.

42:34Mike Minogue:Weekdays from 4 on Radio Hauraki.

42:36Keyzie:Pool jam there on the Radio Hauraki big show this Wednesday evening. The time is 6.26 and a big day for the fellas tomorrow. Early night tonight, fellas, I hope. You talking about Day and Lou? Yeah, Day and Lou. Mike, you're getting there first, aren't you? I'll be there before you, battlers. Old Mogi's going to be up at the crack of dawn. Obviously, Day and Lou is the day that we raise money for bowel cancer awareness. We're going to be broadcasting from the very, very tippity top of the Sky Tower here in Auckland City. One of the great pieces of modern architecture. I put it up there as the eighth or ninth wonder of the world.

43:13Definitely top ten anyway. The tallest structure in the southern hemisphere, well, New Zealand anyway. Do you think it's cheating, Jase? A lot of people say this. I disagree with it. They think it's cheating that you put the aerial on top to increase the height of the building. They say, well, that's not the building. That's just a large stick.

43:32Keyzie:Yeah, that's an add-on. Yes. Yeah. No, look, I agree with that, and there was a bit of controversy about that. But, yeah, I mean, I get to pass it every night walking home. It's beautiful. It's majestic.

43:44Mike Minogue:Have you seen it, Keyes? Majestic building. No, I've never seen it. I'm looking forward to seeing it. I'll tell you what. Beautiful. The Sky Tower. Absolutely beautiful. It's sort of like, what colour would you say? Probably concrete. Oh. Like a grey. Like I've seen photos of it. Yeah, like it's got a big, tall shaft, big, round bastard. Yeah, nice. It's got some lights on it and that. Fascinating thing about it. I think it was completed construction around about 97, 98 maybe. Came in under budget. Came in early. It came in early. Came in early. Which is a rarity. Never happens. Never. Sky Tower did it.

44:19Wow. So that's the kind of thing that you're dealing with when you're talking about the Sky Tower.

44:22Mike Minogue:I suppose with the aerial thing, it'd be like if I was walking around with a top hat. Thank you. Telling everyone, oh, I'm 6 '5", you know. That's right. But I'm actually 6 '3". Yeah, yeah, yeah. Just a sniff under. Yeah, I see both sides of the argument. But once you're up the top of the Sky Tower, there's no arguing that you are high in the air, I assume. I don't know, because I've never been there. Well, that's right. It's right up there. I think it's about 700, 800 metres high. Wow. Bloody big bastard. Almost a kilometre. Yeah, she is a big bastard, that's for sure. She's a massive bastard.

44:53But yeah, I'll be getting up there at the crack of dawn. Yes. Going up there with my daughter. We're doing some broadcasting. St. Dye Henwood's going to be in there from around about, well, early in the morning. There's all sorts of TV stars coming through. And there's a huge guest we've got coming through. Huge guest. Are we allowed to say?

45:07Mike Minogue:I don't know. Or is it a secret? Well, I know that at one point I'm coming in early. Yeah, that's right, from Game of Two Hearts. Oh, keys is. Season one of The Ditch. Oh, wow. How good. And Jase is coming in at some point too as the guy from Brokenwood. Oh, yes, that's right. Yeah, yeah, Ray. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Jeez, I'm looking forward to meeting him. What a legend. I've heard he's a piece of work in real life, to be honest. And whatever you do, do not mention his boots, all right? Hooray. Yeah, he freaks out about this.

45:35Keyzie:Right, okay.

45:36Mike Minogue:Yeah, he's got this weird thing where he thinks they're great, but everyone thinks they're ridiculous. So that's tomorrow from 6am, broadcasting live, all day raising funds for bowel cancer in New Zealand to donate. Text Lou to 3483, fellas. Doing it for a good cause.

45:52Keyzie:In the meantime, here's Incubus.

45:55Mike Minogue:The Hauraki Big Show with Jase, Mike and Kesey. Tune in weekdays at 4 on Radio Hauraki.

46:02Keyzie:Jane's Addiction there on the Radio Hauraki Big Show. This Wednesday evening, the time is 6.37. Let's give out some advice. Meet Patty Nib 69 at gmail.com.

46:18Mike Minogue:Get in touch with the fellas. Meet Patty Nib 69 at gmail.com. It's a real email address. Get in touch. You can win a prize if we read it out on the show. Worth doing. 100 % anonymous as well. Meetpattynip69gmail.com. Here we go, fellas. G'day there. Anonymous here. Hypothetical question here. If I were to have a wedding in beautiful Taupo Bay in the far north, would you and your lovely wives attend? Say you did. Okay, I did. Hang on. I'm just reading it still. It was quite clear. Say you did. It's a woman, by the way, named Anonymous. Say you did. Would it be okay to make a joke when the cake comes out to say, Oh, don't worry, guys.

47:05Mike Minogue:Keezy's wife didn't make it, so it's not dry. Or if you can't attend, can I still say the joke and see how it sort of mulls over? She is anonymous. Yeah, it's not going to land if she's not there. Your wife, I mean. It's not going to land very well regardless, I personally think. Well, it'll land really well with the wider group, but not one individual in particular. And then probably you on behalf of your wife is going to be less than impressed. But everyone else will have a ball. But that's, I mean, is it worth, so how far away is Taupo Bay from right here?

47:35Keyzie:Yeah, I'm just trying to think where that is actually. I've got no idea. It's got me thinking about what the definition of Taupo is. Weirdly, I'm thinking about something else. Dark bottom. Dark bottom.

47:46Mike Minogue:Three hours, 45. There you go. So what's the question? Do we want to go to this wedding up north? It's just shy of four hours away. Yes. We're going to bring the wives, but the only trade-off is they will make that dry cake joke. I don't know. I feel like it's worth it. I'd go just to hear that. Yeah, I would then turn around and drive back three and a half hours after I'd heard it. Yes. You'd drive four hours to hear a joke about dry cake. Well, it's not just a joke. It's not great. So many connections there. It just... Well, it is a joke because it's not true. And, you know, a lot of the best jokes are, you know, made up.

48:27Mike Minogue:Right. I don't think we need to travel that far just for that.

48:31Keyzie:I mean, to be fair, actually, Mogi, what I might do is eat first, hear the joke, and then come home. Why is that? That's a good idea.

48:38Mike Minogue:Oh, eat the catering. Yeah. And then come home. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. So should we say yes? Should I RSVP for us? Yeah, I'm keen. When is it? Later in the year. I'll get the date exactly. Oh, later in the year. Not months ago. No, no, no. Later in the year, the wedding is. Okay, yeah, cool. Yeah, cool. And do you, Jase, will your wife be coming? I'm just RSVP. Stop looking at me like that. I'm just riding an RSVP to a wedding. It's pretty straightforward. No, she's not coming. She's not going to be coming. Oh, wow. Okay. And just for the record, fellas, topo means cloak. Topo? Yeah. It means dark bottom.

49:14Mike Minogue:My nana told me that. Your nana has been lying to you for all these years. My nana's dead now, man. Well, you know, the life stops there. The Hauraki Big Show with Jase, Mike and Kesey. Tune in weekdays at four on Radio Hauraki.

49:38Mike Minogue:With the fellas! Jase, it's way too late for that. Can you?

49:47Keyzie:Anyway, listen, it's the end of the show.

49:51Mike Minogue:I'm saying anyway like I was the one that interrupted.

49:54Keyzie:Hey, now listen, before the show, every single time we come into the studio, we do a little thing called the podcast outro, bonus material for all our fans out there. What's the clip today, Keezy? Can you remember anything about what happened in our chat today? Anyone? Anyone? Boots? No.

50:12Mike Minogue:I can't remember anything. Oh, no, we laughed a lot. So maybe boots. Oh, boots. It was a lot of boots. Boots chat. Anyway, here's a clip of today's podcast. It comes out at 7.30 tonight.

50:22Keyzie:You know, good thing about it, it's like, A, I forget I'm wearing them, B, they're really comfortable, and C. Did you not get reminded by people that you're wearing them? Oh, I did the other day.

50:33Mike Minogue:And C, they make you feel pretty. Yeah, they make me feel pretty, yeah. And they give you another outlook on the world because the heels are so high. You must feel like a giant. Totally.

50:41Keyzie:And, I mean, I'm embarrassed for you guys that you're not up with how society is these days. Yes, it turns out it was about boots, wasn't it? It was. That's just the way it's going to be for a while. Yeah, yeah. You know, we had time, you know, we spent a few months on honkers. Yes. You know, three to six months. This has got a real three to six month vibe about it, I've got to say.

51:05Mike Minogue:Jase has to keep wearing the boots, though.

51:07Keyzie:All right. Well, I know it's a tricky situation. Well, I can tell you this, fellas. They're at a rotation tomorrow. Well, you don't have a rotation. Yeah, I have a rotation of shoes. Are you going to win them to Inglebird on Tuesday? Yes. Okay. Yeah, totally, man. That's the one place that they might make sense. Why? Because half the audience is going to be blind.

51:29What are you? Mogey, what's your plans tonight? I'm keen to get home and have something delicious to eat. Yes. I've got a book to read. And I also want to watch something on TV. I don't know. I just want to lie down on my new couch, man. I'm loving my new couch. A good couch is a wonderful thing. It's a real treat. What about you, Keezer, you mad dog?

51:51Mike Minogue:Hello. I'm going to go home and eat a stir fry that my wife has made. I can't stand stir fries. Well, it's a food bag one, so I don't know. Hopefully it's good. Oh, yeah, might be all right. And then I'll suggest that Broken Wood episode. See how it's with the vibers. It's never going to happen. Probably not. It's too long, 90 minutes. It's not the Ben Stokes documentary thing. You really got to see that, Keese. It's bloody good. The difference is that's really good, apparently, and Jase would love it. Yeah, that is the difference.

52:18Keyzie:Hey, Jase, what are you doing tonight? Oh, mate. I'm putting on me jacket, filing down the road. Filing? Flying down the road. Oh, fine. And I'm going to get some spicy hot pot action. Oh, you going to watch Game of Two Halves? and after that straight into game of two halves yeah good on you mate good stuff hey now make sure you check out the podcast make sure you check out our Instagram account make sure you're tuned in all day tomorrow big day day in lieu until then though see you later bye