FULL SHOW: Crying Over Bottled Milk

12:05Keyzie:Yes, indeed. Wheeze are there on the Radio Hauraki Big Show this Tuesday afternoon. The time is 4.37.

12:14Mike Minogue:Fellas, this is for our Christchurch listeners. if you are keen to go along and watch the BNZ Breakers take on the Adelaide 36ers. It's happening in Christchurch this Thursday night. Text the word BENCH to 3483 and you could win a ticket for you and three mates to sit courtside at the backbone bench. That is BENCH to 3483. Great stuff, mate. Fellas.

12:35Keyzie:Thank you. Sorry. That's okay, man. I had something happen to me today that really made my day. Yeah. I've got to be honest with you. I was having an annoying morning. Oh, wow. You know, and I was...

12:49Mike Minogue:Effing and jeffing?

12:50Keyzie:Yeah, I was effing and jeffing a little bit and stuff wasn't quite going right and just trying to organise certain things and they weren't quite happening. And then I went, oh, I'll just get in the car and go to the supermarket and get dinner sorted out, do something practical in the meantime. And so I was in a bit of a sort of bad mood. And anyway, I was driving down my street and then I got towards the end of my street and there were roadworks. You're joking. And I was like, ah. And I was effing and jeffing, just going, oh, good one. And there was a dude standing there with his lollipop with a stop.

13:21Keyzie:So I stopped. Now, I've got to describe this dude. Here we go. He was one of the most enormous men I've ever seen in my life. Muscly, eh, hot fella? I'm sure there was muscle in there. Big unit. He was a substantial, substantial unit. Right. And he had some wraparound sunnies on. Like shades. Like shades. Dirty dogs. No, not that flash, just really shitty wraparound glasses. But he also had this tiny helmet on his head. And I swear to God it was ten sizes too small for him. But having said that, his head was so massive, I don't think there's a helmet that's been invented that would fit his head.

14:06Keyzie:Can I just say, he sounds like an absolute stallion. Yeah, he was a character. He was magnificent. Anyway, so I'm stopped there and the window on my passenger side is down because it was quite steamy. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Anyway, he shuffles over to me and I'm like, oh, this is weird. They don't usually come and have a chitty chat. They usually just say stop or go.

14:27Mike Minogue:Yeah. And then he bends down and he looks at me and he goes,

14:33Keyzie:G'day, mate. How's your day going? Really? I swear to God that was his voice. Wow. And it was like, firstly and foremost, that voice doesn't suit the body.

14:44Mike Minogue:Oh, my God, because he's like the opposite of you. He is the opposite of me. Because that should be your voice.

14:49Keyzie:It should be my voice, and he should have had my voice. And he's like, you know, how's your day going? And I was like, oh, you know, okay, man, not too bad about yourself. And he goes, oh, you know, just standing here like an effing idiot, you know, as per usual. And I went, oh, you're not an idiot, mate. And he goes, oh, anyway, mate, just to let you know, there's a bit of traffic down the bottom there. And once we let that through, I can let you through. And I was like, oh, OK. Is that going to take a while? And he was like, oh, no, probably about 30 seconds. And I was like, oh, that's all good, man.

15:34Keyzie:I don't mind that. You know, that's fine. And he goes, it's been a bloody nice day, isn't it? And I was like, yeah, it is a lovely day. And he goes, oh, effing took long enough. And I went, yeah, didn't it, mate? Jeez, it took forever. And then he goes, now I'm standing here like an effing idiot, swept my effing ass off. Sounds like a legend. And I was like, and he's just this huge guy looking at me. And I was like, yeah, I bet you guys must get really, really hot. And anyway, the conversation stopped and he was just staring at me. and he didn't say anything for about 10 seconds and it was really awkward and I'm frantically going, how do I carry on this conversation?

16:14Keyzie:And after about 10 seconds he looks at me and he's got a little smile on his face and he goes, anyway, backbone, backbone. And I went, yeah, mate, you're a backbone, backbone. And he went, yeah, good on you, mate, and just wandered off. and then he gave me the two thumbs up when he got the ready to go. But it was one of those things. It was so ridiculous. I was like, actually, that's really turned my day around and I was in a good mood from there on in. He sounds like an absolute legend. Hopefully he's listening right now as we speak. His ass would be even weirder than Keezy's at the moment. Quite possibly.

16:53Mike Minogue:I spilled water on my butt just for those who have just joined us. Backbone, backbone. You're a backbone, Keezy. Good on you, mate. Oh, is this talking head? Is this going to kill us? The Hauraki Big Show. Weekdays from four on Radio Hauraki. Guns.

17:12Keyzie:Roses there on the Radio Hauraki Big Show. Just a reminder, by the way, on the show later on, we'll be taking the Melbourne Cup live, fellas.

17:20Mike Minogue:By later on, you mean?

17:22Keyzie:In like 10 minutes time, I reckon.

17:24Mike Minogue:Yeah, just after five o 'clock there. We'll be taking it live. So good. In the meantime,

17:31Keyzie:here's... What's funny about that? What's on the telly will be taking it live. I don't know what that means. Just nothing. What's on the telly with Mike Minogue.

17:45Keyzie:Yes. Yeah.

17:55Hey, fellas, last night I watched the last episode of season five of Slow Horses. on Apple Television. Yes. Okay. They only have six episodes per season. It's not many, Keezy. Six episodes, mate. Per season. And it's got Gary Oldman in it, who plays a spy. He's a bloody good spy. He's been around for donkeys years. And he sort of leads a group of ne 'er-do-wells and misfits out of a place called Slough House. And they always find themselves entangled in the latest terrorist attack somehow. I don't know how. Yes. And everybody hates them because they're useless and they should be thrown out of MI5 and all that sort of carry on.

18:40But they solve every single problem that ever comes into the country. And so you'd think that they would be celebrated and indeed promoted. But you can't have that because it sort of ruins the idea of the show, man. Yeah. So you can forget about that. Oh, really? So in this one, this season was all about a terrorist organisation, sort of a cell of terrorists that have gone rogue. And they want to bring the United Kingdom to its knees as a result of some foreign policy that was at play in the 80s. Yes. Possibly the 70s. Well, I won't ruin it for you. Don't. But the slow horses get involved, right, from Slour House.

19:19And it was good. It wasn't their best season, but it was really enjoyable, as always. The writing's really good. You're in it for the characters, really. Gary Oldman's amazing. Chris and Scott Thomas is amazing. All of the cast are really good. Very, very funny lines. You always get a couple of three laugh-out-loud moments every week from the horrendous things that Gary Oldman says to pretty much everybody. The storyline was a little bit loose. It wrapped up a little bit easy for me. Yeah, sure. This time round, it was all of a sudden, okay, all right, that's how we're doing it. It just felt a little bit lazy.

19:51Is that the whole show done now? So they have one arching storyline in each season. Right. So it's sort of like, you know, in this one it was this terrorist cell, there's six episodes that deal with that from start to finish. Yeah. And then next season there'll be another thing that's a problem and another thing, you know?

20:09Mike Minogue:Sorry, the reason why I'm looking at the TV behind you, Meg, is because there's a guy that looked just like Hoity J on there. Stud, you mean. How many busies out of five would you give that? I would give it probably a good four for the show in general and probably a three for the storyline, but definitely a recommended. If you're not watching Slow Horses, you've got to. And the other thing is, at the end of it, they play the trailer for the next season, which seems like they've already filmed it in an underway editing. Awesome. Next season's looking good, man. Great stuff, mate.

20:37Keyzie:Yeah, look, I'll be honest with you. I didn't watch my... We had one of those nights where we couldn't decide on anything. So we just chatted and faffed around, and I cleaned golf balls. How many buzzies out of five? cleaning golf balls. Yeah. It's my relaxation, so five buzies. Nice, man.

20:53Mike Minogue:Coming up next on The Big Show, the Melbourne Cup. The Hauraki Big Show with Jace, Mike and Keezy. Tune in weekdays at four on Radio Hauraki.

21:04Keyzie:Welcome back, you massive backbones. Hope you're getting through your Tuesday afternoon. You're listening to The Big Show, brought to you by Reburg Gear.

21:11Mike Minogue:Crave-worthy street food, freshly made with Reburg Gear. Scrump-diddly-umptious.

21:17Keyzie:Sure is. things heating up in Melbourne of course, the race that stops two nations, you were saying actually Mogey, that it's going off in Ponsonby Road, I imagine it would be with all the bars etc there Yeah, I had a bit of a wander down there earlier on today in the heart of Auckland, and there's a whole bunch of bars down there that are having a special day there's tables out on the streets nice, men and women dressed to the absolute nine pissed up, you know, good time

21:47Mike Minogue:Can I just say the last horse is officially into the old, what is it called? The cage. Bird cage. The bird cage there. So we are about to be underway, fellas. There's another one going in there, Keezy. Come on, Keezy, man. They're just slopping them in there. There we go. Go, you must. All right. There you go. Wow. Jeez. That was bizarre, though, right? Because was it Royal Supremacy had about a 30-meter lead there? Yeah, seven lengths, Keezy. And then completely, nah, I think it's meters. You measure it by the length of the horse. That's absurd.

22:18Keyzie:Yeah, went hard, didn't it? Oh, went hard. I used to do that, you know, in the 800 metres, and I'd be leaving by, you know, 150 metres, and then inevitably they'd bring me down and I'd end up last.

22:33Mike Minogue:You can't ride a horse at the 800 metres, man. It's just stupid. But it was very interesting. That horse completely ran out of gas. They got chased down. The KZ horses, you don't fill them up with gas, man. They don't run out of gas. Wow, it's like a colloquial saying, a figure of speech, Moggy. But the interesting thing there, Buckaroo, there was that bloke who had a 12-leg multi. He had 12 legs? The 12th, yeah, it's a multi-bet. The 12th leg, all of them had come in except for the 12th one, which was for Buckaroo to place, and it came about eighth or something. So that guy missed out on$150 ,000.

23:06Keyzie:Hey, just on that, text us now, did you have a bit of an office due going on? Who was the winners? Who were the losers? How much did you win? What was happening there? Yeah, that's right. And also interesting that there was not one New Zealand horse in the field this year, so it should have really only stopped one nation. It shouldn't have stopped two. Oh, there's one. No, there's none. Smoking Romans. No, it didn't make it. Yeah, he just ran. No, he didn't.

23:27Mike Minogue:I'm so confused. 3483 is the number, by the way. Kings of Leon. The Hauraki Big Show with Jace, Mike and Keezy. Tune in weekdays at four on Radio Hauraki. Red Heart.

23:42Keyzie:Chilli Peppers here on the Radio Hauraki. Big Show this Tuesday afternoon at 16 past five.

23:52This is Breaking News. Big news, fellas, big news. You guys will remember the gentleman known as Lion Man. I do indeed, and his series. And his series, yeah, he's up in Whangarei. And I think he had up to around about 30-odd cats, big cats, big bastards, eh, at his park there, and you used to be able to pay for tickets and you'd go along and you'd watch the Lion Man sort of play with the big cats. And he was a bit of a stud. He had a ponytail. Real smoke show. Sounds hot. Then they ran into a few issues and he stepped down as a director of the park. His mum took over. Yes. A few issues here and there, et cetera, et cetera.

24:30Anyway, they're down to seven. The old lady, she's had an absolute guts full of the joint and she decided to sell the joint for, sell the land off. Well, of course, you've still got seven big cats there. Right. So it's in the paper that they're having to euthanise these cats. They're going to have to kill them. I don't know how they do it. But got to get rid of them because the people that are buying the land don't want seven big cats. You're talking your lions, your tigers, et cetera, et cetera.

24:56Mike Minogue:What are they doing with the land? Are they building townhouses? Because they could just save a few of the townhouses and put the lions in there. Yeah, I don't know. Well, it's too late, Keezy, because I've been on the phone to her and I've bought all seven. Lions? All seven. Well, there's a mix here. You've got four lions, two tigers, and a polar bear. So they're mine now. Okay, and they're all big cats. Well, they're big cats, yeah. Yeah, right. Big bastards, they are. You sure it's a polar bear? Big bastards. Yeah, polar bear. They're the white ones, eh? Yeah, yeah, yeah. The white ones, yeah.

25:28Mike Minogue:It's not a Siberian? No, no, it's definitely, that's what she said, polar bear. She said they got buggered up in the orders, but they got stuck with this polar bear. Sweating like a bastard, she said. You would be up north. Last week or so. Shocking. Because I thought they'd be bloody good for Secret Santas. Secret Santas. So you know at Christmas time when everybody gets a gift and you don't know who's giving it to who or whatever. Imagine if you got a lion or a polar bear. Totally. It depends though because Secret Santa usually has like a limit, like$30. Oh, yeah. Yeah, but it's suggested. But if somebody wants to be more generous than that, you're not going to be gutted, are you?

26:09I mean, who's going to be gutted if you get a lion?

26:11Keyzie:Or a polar bear. True story, my daughter's fourth birthday party. And a mate turned up and she had bought my daughter for her fourth birthday party a baby rabbit. Oh, God.

26:28Mike Minogue:Right, yeah. That's shocking. Yeah. Compared to a polar bear, though, it's not.

26:32Keyzie:Not only that, she bought my four-year-old daughter a baby rabbit, but no hutch. Nothing like that. Just literally a baby rabbit. Yeah, got it good. How old is your daughter now?

26:46Mike Minogue:29. About the right age to get a polar bear, don't you think? I think so, or a lion. Or a lion? Yep. Do you think she has a preference?

26:55Keyzie:Well, I think knowing her as I do, she'd probably go polar bear, actually. Yeah, where's she living? She's living in Melbourne. Oh, hot over there. But that's the beauty of it, you see, because a lot of people think that polar bears are dangerous. and in their normal element they are. If they're in the cold, God, you've got to be careful of a bloody polar bear, they'll have you. But if it's 32, 36 degrees Celsius, they're just on the ground panting.

27:20Mike Minogue:Yeah, true. They're absolutely panting. So can I just have confirmation that you're not going to put one of these things in the big show secret sander that we're going to do? Hey, it's secret. It's secret. No, no, no, I think we should really just... I don't want to ruin the surprise. I just don't think that, you know, me and things are... I'm saying if you do get one, I'm not saying it's come from me, all right? Yeah, true. It could have come from someone else. The Hauraki Big Show with Jace, Mike and Kesey. Tune in weekdays at four on Radio Hauraki.

27:52Keyzie:Metallica there on the Radio Hauraki Big Show this Tuesday afternoon. The time is 5.40. Now listen up, all you golf stallions out there, because, boy, have we got an opportunity for you. The Swingers Club is back.

28:06Mike Minogue:That's right, Jase. We went to Fiji recently and took the Swingers Club International. If you don't know what the Swingers Club is, it's Hauraki's basically golf club. Bit of a pun there, Mogi. It was good stuff. Thanks, man. You've got Manaya and Jerry from The Brekkie Show who love playing golf, and then you've got me and Jase who love it, and Mogi and Pugsana just acquiring the golf taste. Yeah. I got my first par over in Fiji, which I loved. That's bloody fantastic. And then Jase immediately, I played golf twice in 20 years, Jase jumped straight and said, I just got a birdie. Oh, you did get a birdie too.

28:38Yeah, but we didn't have the hoodie J, A number one, best in the world sting on hand, which was a real shame.

28:43Mike Minogue:It was because it was a magnificent birdie. So cool, man. But we are playing another game later this month. We are going to be doing this up in Auckland at Windross, which is a course out south in the Clevedon area.

28:58Keyzie:It's beautiful out that way too. I know that much.

29:01Mike Minogue:It is beautiful, and this time it's an aid of Movember. Everything is in support of Movember, and all you have to do is decide whether you want to be Team Brekkie or Team Big Show because how it's going to work is you're going to have Jason and I who are going to need two playing partners to round out our four, and we will be taking on Team Brekkie, so it'll be Minaya and Jeremy, and they will have two winners as well. So if you'd like to enter, if you think you could represent one of the two teams, go to hodaki.co.nz, enter there, and don't forget with Movember, Every single dollar you give fuels the programme's research and support that help men live healthier and longer lives.

29:36Mike Minogue:Don't wait. Donate now at nz.movember.com. We are looking for teammates. What are we looking for in terms of, you know?

29:43Keyzie:Look, I think, Key Z, we want them to be better than us.

29:47Mike Minogue:Yeah, 100%.

29:48Keyzie:They need to be. That's not hard. Because every team needs to have a couple of guys that are good and a couple of bums. Yeah, a couple of bums. Yeah, we've got the bums covered. Definitely no question about that. But I don't want them to be so good that it becomes a spectacle. I'm thinking like sort of 10 to 15 handicap, which is pretty good. It's very good. Whereas we're in the late 20s kind of thing. So two preferably guns, but not two gun. They've got to be battlers. Yeah, I think so, because Jerry's pretty good. Mania's terrible, and he cheats. Then the other thing is, how is it going to be?

30:27like how are you going to do the scoring? Because last time you guys shot yourselves in the foot by only going with what was the best score or something. Instead of adding both the scores together of both of them, they'd have taken the best shot or whatever it was. I think it was Ambrose. Because they just ended up being jury shot every single time. So you guys got cooked.

30:45Mike Minogue:And Kesey had a shocker. I had a shocker that day. Yeah. In most days. But Benaiah also had a shocker. Yeah, yeah, yeah. But it was all good because Jerry had a great one. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And it would have been fine you having a shocker if Jase had a great one, but he didn't. Well, he just had a standard one.

30:59Keyzie:I had a steady shocker. Yeah.

31:01Mike Minogue:Yeah, yeah. So I think you guys need to make sure that the rules are more in your favour this time, more than you need to worry about who you're playing with. I think you need to add all of the scores together. Yeah, right. That's tough. I like that, though. Yeah, yeah, I think so. Because Minaya will shoot like 200 and something if he doesn't cheat. Exactly. Well, that's the thing. It's four against four, isn't it? So it needs to be everybody's score. I've been pushing hard for that one, fellas. We need a win. This is an opportunity for the big show to see out the year with a goddamn victory.

31:30We've had our asses handed to us this year by these bastards. Yeah. You got smacked over in the golf. You pulled a hammy. We lost the 4x100 metre relay against them as well.

31:39Mike Minogue:It was a quad, and it was also Jace that did that. Oh, yeah, sure. And so we need to round out the year with a victory. It's a last opportunity. Three times against them. It's got to be a win. Do we put something on it again? We need to have a brainstorm. What are we putting on the line here? obviously not something that affects you and Pugsun no nothing to do with me obviously yeah we'll have a think though

31:59Keyzie:any suggestions 3483 you know the winner takes the other team out to re-beg well I mean we'll probably get that for free wouldn't we

32:08Mike Minogue:but hodaki.co.nz guess out from the draw there and see whether you'd like to represent team Brekkie or team Big Show and yeah we'll have a little think great idea suggestions 3483 as to what we should put on the line for this sucker Good. In the meantime, here's the killers. The Hauraki Big Show, weekdays from four on Radio Hauraki.

32:27Keyzie:The cult there on the Radio Hauraki Big Show this Tuesday afternoon. The time is 5.53. Now, remember tonight after 6 o 'clock, what's on the dinner with me, Kesey? So text us, what are you having for dinner on 3483? And you'll immediately go on the draw to win yourself a$50 Reburger voucher. And how about that for dinner, fellas?

32:49Mike Minogue:So good, man. And 3483, what's on the dinner coming up after six? Hey, guys, I was having a little think. You know how, like... Have you got any thinking music? Sorry? Have you got any thinking music? Thinking music, thinking music. I don't think so. Let me just have a look here. Dand-a-dand-dand. That's good. Is it? Yeah.

33:10Keyzie:I'd be thinking if I was listening to this. Yeah, man. That's perfect. Probably sucking on a cigar and a kimono and cravat.

33:18Mike Minogue:Okay, well, that's not what's happening. I was having a little think, and, you know, probably five years ago, I'm not sure what triggered it, but about five years ago, all of a sudden working from home became a massive thing. That's right. And I was just thinking, like, and all through, let's just say, pandemics and whatever's happening, the big show backbones are in their cars. They're at work. They're broadcasting regardless.

33:42Keyzie:Despite the fact there was a deadly disease out there. That's right.

33:46Mike Minogue:We were broadcasting, and it made me think, shouldn't we have sort of like once a week someone works from home? Oh. You know what I mean? On the show. Yeah.

33:56Keyzie:Well, the really interesting thing about working from home was there was no drop in productivity. And, in fact, what they found was that the productivity was higher with people working home. Of course, the assumption is you just be at home and get on the piss.

34:09Mike Minogue:Well, I mean, I wouldn't.

34:11Keyzie:No. I mean. Depends how sunny it is. Yeah, I mean, if it's a beautiful day. I mean, but, you know, it's also computerised these days. You could be sitting outside, mogi in the sun on your computer doing your stuff. That's right. Exactly. Well, hang on. We're talking about broadcasting the show. Yes. Okay. But getting back to broadcast. You know what I'm sure? I mean. Just one at a time at home? Or all of us at home?

34:33Mike Minogue:Maybe we, like maybe it's, we have, well, because the way it works is they pick a few days a week, which are called anchor days, which are the days everyone has to be in the office. Oh, yes. And so we could say, you know, Monday, Wednesday, Friday, those are anchor days everyone has to be in. Monday's no good for me. Tuesday, Thursday optional. Oh, so you need Mondays off. Yeah. But when you're currently working Mondays. And Fridays.

34:53Keyzie:Well, you could do the Monday and skip the Monday. Yeah. You could do from home on Monday, home on Friday. Yeah, good. Keys, you could do Tuesday and Thursday.

35:06Mike Minogue:Yeah, but Wednesday's an anchor day, so we'd all need to be here Wednesday.

35:09Keyzie:Yeah, so we could all be here on Wednesday, and I'll just be here every day because I don't have the technical capabilities of having a home studio. Yeah, right. So would you be down for that, Mike? I'm totally up for that. Yeah. So we go home and we just, it's a day off. No, it's not a day off. That's not how we work. But I'm working from home, right, which is, it's a day off.

35:25Mike Minogue:No, but you're doing, you're still expected to deliver the same as if you were at work. So we'd need to, you'd need a microphone. We'd probably need pugs.

35:34Keyzie:You could be at home in your undies, glass of wine there on the deck. On the deck? Yeah, and just chatting like you normally do. It'd be fine, man. Yeah. Yeah, it was worth a go. I just think if I'm at home, I should probably just put my feet up.

35:50Mike Minogue:Well, and also you don't want to bring your – have you heard the saying, don't want to bring your work home with you? Oh, that's true. Yeah, but – Actually, that's a good point. So I don't think I'd want to work Tuesdays and Thursdays. No. Because I don't want to be at home working. Do you want to do Mondays and Fridays off as well? I mean working from home as well? Yep. Okay. Is that an option? Yep. And then – so what's the story? Jason Pugs will just do the show. Monday, Tuesday, and Thursday, Friday. Yeah. And then on Wednesday, of course, we'll be here. Big show. We'll be here, yeah. promo meeting.

36:17Mike Minogue:Yeah. And so, yeah, I think we do that. Sweet. We just trial it. Productivity will probably be up, Jase.

36:23Keyzie:Yeah, look, I'm all for it, fellas. Yeah, I think it's good. So I reckon knock it in. Shall we have a talk to Toddy about it? Yes, I think so. He's our boss, but I think he's working from home today. He's working from home today and yesterday as well,

36:34Mike Minogue:so I'm not sure. Actually, shit, I've just realised it's Tuesday. I'm not even supposed to be here right now. Oh, yeah, now you can take the rest of the day off. Yeah, right, I'll see you guys later.

36:44Mike Minogue:The Hauraki Big Show with Jace, Mike and Keezy. Tune in weekdays at four on Radio Hauraki.

36:50Keyzie:You're welcome back, you massive backbones. Hope your Tuesday night's just beautiful. You're listening to The Big Show brought to you by Ree Burger.

36:57Mike Minogue:Handcrafted burgers, loaded fries and gourmet eats. That will change the game.

37:04Keyzie:And they're off and out the gate. You've got butter chicken burger. Closely followed by the new Dizzy Dynamite burger. A masala tender box close in tail. It's all handcrafted. Loaded fries is getting up there. Gourmet eats. That'll change the game later in the race. It's good times followed by good food. Dine-in or could be takeaway. It could be anybody's game here. You could go beef, chicken, bacon or vegetarian. Bread bagger or redefining the norm. And taking it out is yum.

37:34Mike Minogue:Oh, Pugs, he was gutted that the memo didn't quite get to me to play that before the Melbourne Cup. Oh. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, because that seems, I think, is that what it's about, the Melbourne Cup? Yeah, the horse race that was today, yeah, yeah. Because that makes no sense, playing that now. Well, I mean, it still makes sense. I think people will still be like, oh, Melbourne Cup day, yeah, yeah. Oh, yeah. Yeah, yeah. You're genius, Pugs. That's good stuff.

37:56Keyzie:You're so good, man. Kia kaha. Good eating. Good eating. Hey, speaking of eating, we need you to text in on 3483. What are you having for dinner tonight? And we'll get into that next, fellas.

38:09Mike Minogue:That's right. $50 Reburger voucher up for grabs there, guys. Do you like Super Groove?

38:17Mike Minogue:Do you like it or not? The Hauraki Big Show with Jace, Mike and Kesey. Tune in weekdays at four on Radio Hauraki.

38:25Keyzie:Tom Petty there on the Radio Hauraki Big Show this Tuesday evening. But right now it's time for...

38:32Mike Minogue:Hey, guys. Text here from Steve. What's on the dinner? With me, Keith. It's a segment where people text through what they're having for dinner and then we read it out on the radio. Oh, yeah. So good. This one comes in from Will. Will. Will Ferrell. Smeth. It is Will Ferrell. Yes. Yeah, yeah, he's... You sure? G'day, fellas. Will Ferrell here. I'm having some barbecued duck with a side of swede for dinner. See you at the beer festival. Cheers, Will Ferrell. Swede. Now, that's something you don't hear about too often, a swede. No, I kind of put it in the yam territory. See, Jase, that's interesting.

39:14Mike Minogue:I say more of a parsnip.

39:15Keyzie:I sort of think about a turnip. Sure. Wow. Yeah, yeah. Look, I've got to be honest, by the way, just on that, very fond of a bit of duck. Oh, yes. You know what I mean? I'm very fond. Like the one that takes dumps in your lounge. Oh, your pet duck. Your pet duck. What's its name again? No, I'm talking Eaton. Oh. Walter. Walter Duck. You know, the Peking ducks that they have hanging in the old restaurants there? Oh, yeah. Love that all diced up. I've never had it. Oh, it's so good.

39:45Mike Minogue:Apparently the skin's delicious. Legs are kimbo.

39:48Keyzie:You'd love it, Kesey. They're a bit bony, but you'd love it. Sweet, sort of dense, rich meat. But back on the Swedes. That's one of your sweet roots. I don't like a sweet root. I hate a sweet root. You like a dud root? Are we thinking roasted? What was that? I think it might. It feels like it's got to be a pureed sort of a mash with a duck. Not roasted. I feel like you need more than a, yeah, maybe a mash. Good stuff. Can be done.

40:22Mike Minogue:Good stuff. Well, Will Ferrell, enjoy that. I've got a text here from Gene. Genie? Gene Simmons from the band Kiss. It's actually Gene Genie. Oh, Gene Genie, the fictional character from the David Bowie song. That's the one. Living in Pukekohe these days. Oh, is he? Hey, guys. My wife's gone out for tea with her friends after the horse race to a vegetarian restaurant. She'll be pissed, huh? Oh, yes. I stopped and picked up five Big Ben pies from the garage, and I'm going to squash them between fresh bread and ketchup. I'm a shocking bastard.

40:54Keyzie:There ain't nothing wrong with that, man. I've never had a pie sandwich. Neither. Oh, my God. I mean, pie sandwiches got me through my adolescence. Would you say that you'd put a lot of butter on one of those? Yes. The butter needs to be melted onto there? Yeah. Would that be all right? And it's got to be fresh white bread. Yes. Yes, I'd agree with that. And a good squirt of sauce. A pie sandwich is the bomb.

41:20Mike Minogue:I love a chip buddy.

41:21Keyzie:So he's having five pie sandwiches?

41:23Mike Minogue:Yeah. What a shocking bastard. Ten slices of bread and five pies. That is good eating. That's Gene Genie for you. And she's at a vegetarian restaurant. So good.

41:34Keyzie:I wonder if he's forced to eat vegetarian when she's there. So he's just gone hard out in the pies. He's gone out.

41:39Mike Minogue:Here's one from Charles. Charles Dickens.

41:42Keyzie:I was going to say, Charles Manson.

41:45Mike Minogue:It's actually King Charles. Oh, really? Yeah, yeah. G'day, guys. King Charles here. Hold sausage fingers. Yeah, it's the one. Is that why there's so many typos? King Charles here. Mints and cheese patty burger. Homemade yum yum. Yum. He's a shocking person. He's a bit of an idiot, old King Charles. He's been under a bit of pressure lately. He is, with old Andrew there.

42:05Keyzie:Mince and cheese, what? Burgers. Mince and cheese patty burger, homemade yum yum. Jay said, come out with these new burger patties where they put the cheese inside the beef patty. Oh, you see. Now, having said that, he said it's homemade. Yes. So that means it might be good, but the pre-packaged ones, I'd say no. I'd say no to that. Right. Sounds like right up your alley, Keezy. Yeah. which is a bit squishy at the moment because you ate something dodgy.

42:30Mike Minogue:My actual alley is, yes, I am struggling. I feel like maybe some dud chicken. Yeah. I feel like I'm going to explode at some point, hopefully not until I get home. The Hauraki Big Show, weekdays from four on Radio Hauraki.

42:42Keyzie:It's indeed Green Day there on the Radio Hauraki Big Show this beautiful Tuesday evening, fellas. The day dawns nearer. Down to Dunedin on the Friday. Early doors, too. I was looking at the flight. It's like 6.50 in the morning. Yeah. She's early, boy.

42:58Mike Minogue:She's an early one. Yeah, but it's so far away. Like, Dunedin's ages away from Auckland where we're based.

43:03Keyzie:Isn't it about, like, eight hours from Auckland to Dunedin? On the plane, yeah. On the plane, yeah, yeah.

43:09Mike Minogue:So, yeah, you leave at 6.50. By the time we get down there, we're only just going to make it. I think we might actually miss the first half an hour of our show. Because we're going north. We're not going due south. We're going due north. So we've got to go all the way up and then under and over Antarctica. Oh, really? Is that why? Antarctica? Yeah. Apparently it's to do with the winds and the magnetic sort of field.

43:30Keyzie:Right. So, okay, well, that makes sense then to have it so ridiculously early. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

43:34Mike Minogue:But actually, to be honest, to be safe, we should probably ask to switch it to the night before. Yeah, about midnight. About midnight to get there on time. Yeah, okay. But we'll look into it. But we are going to be at the Dunedin Craft Beer and Food Festival on the Friday. Our show, if you are listening, will be broadcast live from the festival, which I'm excited about. Yes.

43:51Keyzie:Yeah. And hopefully the festival will be going while we're doing the live show. I think they're going to stop it. Oh, they're going to stop it? And get everybody to leave. And then have the second session. And then we'll do the show and then bring them in. And then bring them in, yeah. Well, that's good because it could be quite distracting having people listening to your show. You don't want too much energy in the show.

44:08Mike Minogue:No. I like to picture no one listening to our show. Oh, yes. I've never met a single listener of our show, so I'd get pretty thrown off.

44:15Keyzie:I actually picture people nude listening to the show because it relaxes me. You picture yourself nude. No, people listening to the show are nude. Oh, the dirty bastards. It's like one of the hints they give you when you've got fear and you're going on stage, Keezy. Is to picture people nude? Yeah, to picture the audience all naked. Wouldn't that just like... Give you wood? Get you revved up? Yeah, did that to me once and I've never recovered.

44:39Mike Minogue:Hey, DunedinBearFest.co.nz, if you would like some tickets. I believe there's only a few left, so you might want to get in there quick. We'll be at the Emerson's tent pouring our beer that we crafted. so if you want to come and taste the big courtesy of one of the big show members come on down to Emerson's Friday and the Saturday will be there as well which is exciting eh fellas Beautiful The Hauraki Big Show with Jace, Mike and Keezy Tune in weekdays at 4 on Radio Hauraki

45:05Keyzie:Black Sabbath here on the Radio Hauraki Big Show this Tuesday evening now, the Big Pole today drinking milk out of the bottle, yes or no The Big Pole

45:22Mike Minogue:That's right, today's big poll. Drinking milk out of the bottle, yes or no? You can vote at the Hodaki Big Show's Instagram story. Do you want to have a guess at where it came in, fellas?

45:32Keyzie:My instinct would tell me that the majority, but maybe not a huge majority, would be in favour of. I'll say 60 % yes.

45:40Mike Minogue:I was going to go 65 % yes. All right, well, I've gone to the Hodaki Big Show's Instagram story. I voted myself for no, because you shouldn't. And the results are 52 % yes. Wow. 48 % no. So it's split right down the middle. Yeah, it's one of those things, isn't it?

45:56Keyzie:Yeah, actually, that makes sense, because it grosses some people out and some people love it. Yeah, that's the thing. And laugh it up. They laugh it up.

46:03Mike Minogue:Well, what about this? So we had heaps of correspondence on this earlier in the show. Great text suggestion here, because in my house, my wife loves it. She loves drinking out of the bottle, and I don't like it. And this text here on 34, why are you guys smirking? Nothing. Because you started smirking. Was it because I said my wife loves it? Yeah, when you said my wife loves it and then you started smirking and then you winked at me. I did not wink. Anyway, this text here on 3483. I do it so much, my family make me buy my own two-litre bottle, so I have my own bottle in the fridge always. Yeah.

46:35But two litres of milk a week? It's a lot, isn't it? I mean, obviously you tailor that back depending on the amount of people. but maybe she does need her own bottle. Her own milk. I would go through two litres in two days. Really? Yes. You drink a litre of milk a day.

46:57Keyzie:You've got to add in the coffees there. I don't. For your milk? Oh, yeah. Yeah, so I mean I have three coffees a day. Yeah. One of those is a long black, isn't it? Yeah, one of them is a long black. How much milk's in that? Another one is, you know, a cold iced coffee. Oh, that's quite a big one. And I drink a lot of milk. Right. Easily. That is a lot of milk. And in fact, our whole family does. We go through a two litre in like a day and a half, two days at most.

47:25Mike Minogue:Have you guys ever thought of getting your own cow? You guys are shocking, Bast.

47:28Keyzie:Yeah, we are, eh?

47:30Mike Minogue:Yeah. Have you thought of getting your own cow? I haven't. Because you could. Like, how much does a cow cost? Oh, they're free. Yeah, you can get one anywhere. I went driving out and I'm going again tonight in Hamilton. They're just on the side of the road. They're all on the side of the road. Cows everywhere. Seriously? Have you ever seen them before? Yeah, but they must have like a tag on them or something that if they get stolen, they'll be. They're just standing in the middle of a field. Like nobody owns them. Right. They're just out in the middle of a field. And how do you manage to coerce them into the teeter?

47:53Mike Minogue:You just go over and grab them. Yeah, a cow. And then you put some grass on the back seat. Yeah. They love grass. You know that? Cows do. Stupid bastard. Yeah, right. And then they just hop in the back. Yeah, okay. And what are you using the cow for? What's that? For milk. Oh, I haven't got one. What? No, no, I got one last year for Secret Santa. Wait, so you stole a cow and then you gifted it to someone. I didn't steal it, Keezy. You're not listening. It was standing in the middle of the field doing jack shit. You probably shaved it. Exactly. It was dying of cold. It'd run out of grass. I picked it all, put it in the back of the car.

48:27Mike Minogue:Yeah, right. Well, have your say in New Zealand. Vote on the big poll, Hauraki Big Show's Instagram. The Hauraki Big Show with Jace, Mike and Keezy. Tune in weekdays at four on Radio Holaki.

48:45Keyzie:Well, there you go, you mad bastards. That's the big joke done and dusted this Tuesday evening. In the podcast outro today, there was a lot of WeChat. WeChat. How we wee, you know, sitting down, how Moggy wees all over the place and expects everyone else to clean it up. Yeah, it was interesting. What's the clip today, Keezy?

49:09Mike Minogue:Well, the clip I've got for you today was very much in the same vein, Jase. And a reminder, if you're listening to this and you love it, 7.30 tonight it comes out. Just search Hodaki Big Show wherever you get your podcasts from. Perfect way to shoot that would be you get someone like Pugs or maybe Jase to put a head-mounted GoPro on and then just sort of crouch down behind you. And so I would just squat over Jase's head. That's right. As if I'm doing a steamer in China. It needs to be head-mounted too.

49:37Keyzie:My instinct on that is that the sphincter is quite tight, so I don't imagine there would be much movement unless you're really ripping it out. Yeah, great stuff. That's the kind of clip that you'd expect Dilly to put up. Yeah. Don't expect better from you, Pigs. That's disgusting. Disgusting.

49:53Mike Minogue:To be fair, he's just working with what he's got. That was the best of a bad bunch, to be fair. Yes. Hey, what are you up to tonight, Mogi? Driving to Hamilton, man. I've got a cool event to go to. If you can believe this, I've got to go to an event at 7.30 in the morning tomorrow. Yes. 7.30 a.m. Sounds so great. And that'll be done by about 9, and then I'll drive back to Auckland. So I'll tell you all about it tomorrow, all right? Exciting. So just mark that one down, fellas. I'll just put it in the doc now. Yeah, put it in the chat there. We'll start the show with that, Keezy. All right, I might need three breaks for that.

50:25Mogi driving his car to Hamilton and back.

50:29Mike Minogue:Wow. Hey, Keezy, what are you having for tea? I'm making a noodle chicken stir-fry dish because my wife is playing squash tonight. Again? No, she played touch last night.

50:39Keyzie:A lot of extracurricular stuff. And I'm worried about you, Keezy, because she's continued. She's always out there. She's playing all sorts of different sports. You're doing nothing, and I'm worried about that. You used to play touch. You used to play indoor netball. Basketball. Basketball. You did lots of things, and you've parked all of that, and you don't go run anymore. I'm worried you're going to blow out, man. I play golf with Jase. Yeah, that's not enough. You're going to play, and you sit on the couch and play games and eat homemade, well, bought pizzas and noodles. Yeah. I'm worried too now.

51:09Keyzie:You've got a bad guts. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

51:10Mike Minogue:Your guts is really bad. I do have a bad guts, actually, so if we could wrap this up and I could get home. Jase, what are you doing tonight, man?

51:16Keyzie:Learning lines and filming early tomorrow.

51:20Mike Minogue:Cool, man. Tell us about that tomorrow, eh? Nah. Oh, see you tomorrow at four, everyone. We'll see you later then, eh? Bye. Bye. to play!