FULL SHOW: Ears On The Piss

18:24You're not talking about somebody that's proved themselves season after season after season, game after game after game. This is a guy that had half a season last year and went pretty good. Yeah, definitely. No, like, Metcalf is a gun, but, like, is he back to his best? I'm not sure. He's probably not yet, and there's no shame in getting back to your best in New South Wales Cup, eh, Mogey? And it's just, like, sometimes you just, there's just a recipe that's working well at the moment, and then we might decide we want a little bit more salt, you know, and that's Metcalf, and that's not skin-related at all, salt and pepper.

19:00It's just... Oh, I didn't even think of that. but yeah you're just going to have that good ratio 100 % Charlie and just so just clarifying if you've got Spongebob who's Tanner Boyd and then you know CHT is Patrick Starr would that mean like would Webster be Mr. Krabs or um oh and would Mount Smart would that be the Krusty Krab is that how it would work yeah yeah yeah and and Hoody would be Squidward

19:27Keyzie:let's just keep this chat serious eh fellas we're talking Wugba League here Let's not muck around. Hey, Charlie, who's your Portaking player of the day, mate? I could go to Chanel, but I'm giving it to a young fella off the bench who I thought brought massive energy, and that's Dimitri. Yeah. He was smashing people, man. He was good, eh? He was loving it. Those back rowers, man. Yeah, he smashed into it. We've got a good team song, right? Oh, it's a great team song, man. 100%. Look, Charlie, thank you so much for joining us once again, mate. I hope everything went okay with Portaking over the weekend.

20:01No Portaloos blowing away. No, no. Cyclone missed us, unfortunately, but that's all good. Good on you, mate. Well, we'll chat to you next week, eh? Yeah, see you, fellas. I love you. Good on you, mate. Who are we versing? It's the Titans this week at home. Oh, yeah, so we'll probably lose. Yeah. Thanks, Charlie. Talk to you next week, mate. See you, fellas. See you, mate. And don't forget, if you need a Portaloos in the Wellington area, hit up Portaking and Uncle Charlie will look after you. Beautiful. Well, in the meantime, here's Queen to the Stone Age. The Hauraki Big Show. Weekdays from four on Radio Hauraki.

20:35Keyzie:The Hives there on the Radio Hauraki Big Show this Monday afternoon. The time is 4.54. Let's talk TV. What's on the telly with Mike Minogue?

20:50Yeah. Yes. I watched the Red Hot Chili Peppers documentary on Netflix there. And it's about the Chillies, how they came to meet each other, how they came to form the band, and how their guitarist, their first guitarist, Hillel Slovak, ended up dying eventually. And then John Fruscianti joined the band. So it sort of goes all the way up until, I think, Blood Sugar Sex Magic, sort of around that period just there. Pretty interesting stuff. I used to be a huge fan of them. I'm not so much anymore. Do you know what I mean? Yes, I did. But interesting stuff like Hurtla, them growing up, the way they found each other, how they got into music, who produced their first album, the drug addiction.

21:38Like getting addicted to heroin before you're even a rock star. Yes. That's a big call, that one. So you've already been through your addiction before you even get to the point where you're huge stars. So worth a watch. If you're a fan of the band, give it a watch. Give it three point. I'll give it three buzies out of a possible five. and it's on Netflix. So it's all good. It's definitely worth a watch. There's nothing I didn't know because I've read Flea's autobiography. I've read... Scar Tissue? Yeah, Anthony Kiedis' autobiography and been a fan for ages. So there wasn't much in there I didn't know, but it was, yeah, worth the keys.

22:15Good stuff, Moggy.

22:16Keyzie:I started a new series of Alone. Remember that show I was talking about? Tasmania. Tasmania. Well, what happened in the last one, man? Well, I can't tell. I don't want to ruin it for you, fellas. I want to tell you who won. Did someone win? Yeah, someone won, obviously. Were you happy or sad? I was very happy with the person that won. There we go. Tells me all I need to know. And this one's set in the very dark outskirts of Canada. And it's a really, really harsh air. Freezing cold, like frozen rivers and all that jazz. The difference between the Australian one and the Canadian one. Accents. Accents, very much so.

22:52Keyzie:Location. Location, very much so. prize money,$500 ,000 for the winner of the Canadian one and$250 ,000 for the Australian one. But here's the other thing, the big difference in the Canadian one, there's far more jeopardy because there's far more things that can kill you. Like bears. Bears, wolves, all that sort of stuff. And I'm thinking my wife and I were talking about this, they must have some massive waivers for this show because there's a really high chance that you could get killed by a bear. The bears are all around the place. But it's actually really fascinating, people surviving in the most extreme conditions.

23:30Keyzie:And the other interesting thing about the Canadian version of it is that all of the contestants seem to have mental health issues. Oh, good. So they sort of chuck them out there, and they sort of do well physically, but mentally are falling apart. So they've intentionally been chosen. I don't know if it was intentional or not. It's intentional. It's not an accident. But a lot of them have some really issues. They want them to have breakdowns on TV. Pretty much, yeah. It's a reality show, 100%. I would dress up as a bear. Well, you could do that. And live amongst them. I would cover myself in bear scat.

24:07What's scat? Poos? Poos. What, like here or over in Canada?

24:12Keyzie:Just here. Here, wherever I am. But the other positive for the Canadian side of things, they catch big fish. Your pikes are big fish. Big pikes. Big Pikes. Actually, yeah. And it's one of those sort of mindless shows. You do get hooked into it. So I'll give it three buzies. Wow. Out of a possible five, where did you watch that? TV and ZR Plus. Yeah, how good. Fellas, I didn't watch anything. Oh, I did, but we've run out of time. But coming up after five o 'clock, oh, Pugsan's back. Hey. This is what you're going to do re-watching. You're going to watch Bad Boy Bubby tonight and give us a review tomorrow.

24:46Yeah, cool. I'm definitely not going to do that. Based on the text, we're getting on 3483. But after five, Pug San's back. He's going to give us a rundown on his Vietnam trip. Oh, how good. Plus another chance to get yourself in the draw for Magic Round. Good stuff. The Hauraki Big Show with Jace, Mike and Keezy. Tune in weekdays at four on Radio Hauraki.

25:09Keyzie:Yes, indeed. Welcome back, you massive backbones. Hope you're surviving your Monday afternoon. And if you're really struggling at the moment, don't worry about it. It's nearly over. By the way, you're listening to The Big Show, which incidentally is brought to you by Toledo's.

25:33Toledo's, all the good stuff, no nasties. Try, Mogi. All the good stuff, no nasties. Try Toledo's today.

25:45Try Toledo's today.

25:54Toledo's. Yes.

25:55Keyzie:Nailed it. Good stuff. You did, man. You did. Good work, Moggy. Stop. Why are you encouraging him? Because he's doing great, man. In what way, shape, or form is he doing great? He's clapping randomly and yelling at him. Green doesn't suit you, Keezy. Can I say that? Yeah. First of all, yes, it does. And secondly, I'm not jealous of your clapping. Sure. Okay. 3483. Text in. Is Moggy clapping out of time? or are my ears, as they're saying, are my ears unco? Your ears are unco or they're on the piss. I don't know which one it is. I've actually noticed that about you when I look at you head on. What?

26:28Keyzie:My ears are on the piss. Come on, man. Oh, Jake. Like one ear is higher than the other. There's one ear higher than the other, Jake. Do you, with that in mind, though, do you have to sort of especially adjust your headphones just so that they fit on properly? 100%. Because I was always, I always look at, Mike, all these years, Gizzi, and I'm like, are Gizzi's headphones a bit wonky? I can't figure it out. Oh, but it's because your ears are on the piss. Responsibly, of course. Yeah, well, I'm glad you figured it out, Jase. But I wouldn't mind some feedback. 3483, is Mogi clapping out of time, or are my ears on the piss?

27:07Keyzie:Hey, now, listen up. Our old mate, Pugson, has been over to Vietnam. And he's going to be in next, and he's going to talk us through his extraordinary holiday. Can't wait, fellas. Can't wait. In the meantime, while this is a tune, turn it up. The Mint Checks. The Hauraki Big Show with Jace, Mike and Kesey. Tune in weekdays at four on Radio Hauraki. Highly suspect there on the Radio Hauraki Big Show this Monday afternoon. The time is 15 minutes past five o 'clock. Now, our old mate Pugsan, producer of the Big Show, you might not know this, has been away for three whole weeks in beautiful Vietnam.

27:47Keyzie:Ooh, it's Pug Son.

27:54Keyzie:Welcome back, Pug Son. Xin chào, fellas. Xin chào. Oh, you didn't say it like that, did you? How was your trip to Vietnam, Pugs? And just for the listeners that aren't aware, Jase went to Vietnam earlier this year. No, last year. Have you been there as well? Come on, man. Last year. Come on. Last year. Come on, Keezy. So it's just been banging on about it so much. It feels like it was this year. But Jase has been there. I've not been. Mike, you haven't been? I've never been. Would love to know how your holiday was, mate. Thank you for asking. Missed you fellas, by the way. I didn't think about you once.

28:28I didn't even know you'd gone, man.

28:34Dilly's just that good. I get it. How was your trip, brother? It was the trip of a lifetime. Thank you, Kesey. I had an absolute ball. What were some of your highlights? It's hard to say. I think we really nailed the balance of culture and tourist activities and spots with stuff that we wanted to do. Yeah, right. You don't want to do the cultural stuff. Well, we wanted to... Sorry, if I can rephrase. stuff that we would usually be getting up to over here, but over there. So like...

29:13Keyzie:Yeah, well, I mean, when you're in a place like Vietnam, you don't want to be doing the stuff that you're doing at home. You're in another magnificent country. Thank you. You want to experience, you know, their way of life, their way of living, not, you know, the filthy stuff you get on, you know, get up to back home. You're right, Jason. and I imagine that's sort of what your experience was like when you went over to Vietnam. Oh, yeah. What was your highlight? What was your favourite place? I would have to say Hanoi. Jase, what was your favourite place? Sorry, Pugs, we'll get to you. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

29:50Keyzie:Hoi An, actually, Modi. Lovely place. Beautiful little seaside sort of township. Beautiful markets every night. Lovely people. A little bit more sort of chilled out than your main centres. Like your Hanoi. Yeah, I thought the same. The Ho Chi Mins. Yeah, I went there. Pugs, do you mind, man? Sorry. Sorry, Jase. A little more chilled out. And I tell you what, in terms of the accommodation you can get there, unbelievable. And it's so cheap, ridiculously cheap. Yeah, right. Yeah, yeah. So, Pugs, would you agree with that? Yeah, absolutely, man. I stayed in the beach town there. Oh, you don't want to do that.

30:30Keyzie:Oh. Why would you? I mean, I don't know. Did I not tell you to stay away from the beaches? Did you say beaches? That's where you get your runny poos, your voms, all that sort of stuff. I didn't actually get any runny poos, man. Did you? Did I?

30:57You haven't really been to Vietnam properly unless you've got the runny poos. Is that right, Jase? And the power chunders. Yeah, yeah, yeah. What was your favourite, culinary-wise, what was your favourite dish, Jase?

31:12Keyzie:Oh, it is so hard. It is so hard because this is the thing. And what I really loved about all the cuisine there. Is that how they pronounce it? Well, no, obviously not. That's how I pronounce it. Yeah. Wrong. Lots of fresh herbs, lots of fresh sort of seafood and that sort of thing. You know what I mean? Did you have any barn mis? Oh, barring me. Is it a yes? Yes. What about you, Pugs? Do you agree with what Jase just said? Yeah, yeah, totally. I got to enjoy it. Well, I think we've covered off most of it. What's that? Oh, I actually have got one question for you, Pugs. For me? Yeah, for you specifically.

32:00Oh, yep. Where is my effing Toblerone?

32:06I get in a few hours before you fellas and it went. I'm so sorry. I've actually got a gift which I'll give to you off here. Get out.

32:12Keyzie:Hey, in the meantime, here's Head Like a Hole. The Hauraki Big Show. Weekdays from four on Radio Hauraki. Welcome back. The Big Show. Magic round three. Let's put another mad bastard on the bench. Yes, indeed. A month away. It's coming along very quickly indeed, fellas. Certainly is, Jase. Three nights in Brizzy there watching eight games of rugby league at Suncorp Stadium. Flights taken care of, accommodation taken care of, all thanks to boystrip.co.nz. And you get to bring a mate. How good's that? Bloody good. I can't wait, fellas. I'm fizzed up, especially after that Waz win over the weekend.

32:52I'm sensing good things. And we're taking on Brisbane, who are the defending champs. An upset in Brisbane at Suncorp would just be...

33:00Keyzie:The icing on the cake. Ships curse. Ships curse. Yeah, beautiful. Let's go to the phone lines. G'day, Richie, you mad bastard. How's life? Yeah, not too shabby yourself. Yeah, good, thanks, mate. Good, good. You survived the weekend, Richie? Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Bloody hell. Yeah, good on you, mate. That's the one. What do you do for a crust? Ah, Sparky. Ah, Sparky. You're thrilled about it, man? Are you thrilled about being a Sparky? Oh, absolutely. Well, it's better than, what was it? Gohan Gangsters. Oh, that lady from Arsenal. Oh, that's right. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Well, you don't know until you've tried.

33:37Is she your missus?

33:41Keyzie:Well, I can't say. Yeah, good stuff. Richie, who would you take with you, mate? Mate. Yeah, good on you. Good on you, Richie. Don't be specific. All right, here we go. Next person. G'day, Scott, you mad bastard. How's life? Yeah, not too bad, mate. Good on you, mate. What do you do for a crust, Scott? Oh, builder. Oh, yeah, backbone. No biggie. Yeah, backbone. Are you thrilled about it, Scott? No, it sucks. What's the biggest rip-off you've ever done on a customer, man? Oh, I can't tell secrets, mate. Yeah, true, true, true. Too many to say. Now, Scott, obviously you love your book, my league.

34:23Keyzie:Who would you take with you? Oh, I'd be one of the mates. Yeah. Which one? Who are you thinking? Oh, probably one of big old Big Brian from down in Auckland. Big Brian. Big Brian. Oh, Brian. He's huge. He's a big old unit. When he gets on the pass, too, you know what I mean, fellas? He's an absolute punisher. He's what I would call a goose. Yeah, yeah. Smoky, he is a massive goose, man. You hit the nail on the head. Hey, good on you, Scott. You're in the draw, mate. Good luck. Beauty. Good on you, man. And Jared, finally, how are you, you mad bastard? Yeah, good. Thanks, fellas. How are you going?

34:57Oh, yeah.

34:58Keyzie:Not too bad for a Monday, actually, Jared. Not too bad at all. That's a 1A. What do you do for a crust? There you go. Oh, I'm a chippy, but I'm a stay-at-home dad at the moment. Oh, backbone. Backbone. You're not a chippy, man. You're a stay-at-home dad. Yeah, that's the one. Hey, Jared, what's your favourite flavour of chippies? Chicken. Chicken? Yeah, right. Old school. And who would you take if you happened to win this amazing competition there, J-Rad? Your mate from down Dunn is Jimbo. Jimbo. Oh, here we go. He's an absolute grotty bastard. He sucks, man. He's got a piece of shit. Actually, funnily enough, he's got ears that are out of whack as well.

35:41Hey, Chase, this has to stop. Okay, good on you, Jared. Man, are your ears on the piss as well, or are they pretty normal? No, they're on the piss. Yeah, get on you, mate. You'll fit right in. You hold the line, Pugs will put you in the drawer, all right? Oh, no. Jase has unlocked another one. Strap yourselves in for the next 12 months.

36:22Keyzie:We're going to add Shout out to boyship.co.nz The Hauraki Big Show Weekdays from 4 on Radio Hauraki Stone Temple Pilots there on the Radio Hauraki Big Show This Monday afternoon The time is 7 minutes to 6 o 'clock In great news New Zealand The Big Show is back on the road What's our back on the road music? Yeah Matt Kesey? Yeah, man, this is the back on the road tune. Whenever you hear this tune, it means that we are back on the road. So we're heading down to Dunedin next week, fellas. Jeez. Let's come around quick. Real quick. Tell me about it, fellas. You guys been to Dunedin before? I think we went last year.

37:07Yeah, we did. And this year. Yes. And the year before. And the year before that. We haven't been this year yet. Did we go through there to get to? No, we didn't actually. But we were down there last year for the beer festival, I believe it was. That's right, PZ. We've done a show at Emerson's before. both of which went very, very well. Yeah, it was great stuff. And the good news is this coming Wednesday is not the day. It's a week after that. Yes. Next Wednesday. That's right. The 22nd of April. Emerson's Brewing will be there celebrating Emerson's Hazy IPA. Hazed and Confused. It's been around for 10 years.

37:39Do it. Bit of a 10-year anniversary birthday party. You'll have a couple, won't you, Keezy?

37:42Keyzie:Huh? You'll have a couple of the hazies. Yeah, man. I'll get on the piss. Yeah, well. Yeah, you will. Responsibly. Yeah, obviously. Yeah, yeah, yeah. The only thing hazier than the beer there will be your memory the next day, Keezy. Totally, fellas. The only thing more on the piss than you than I got, Keezy, is going to be your ears. Okay, this whole thing with R. Keezy's ears on the piss thing, it started with Mogi clapping out of time, and then you guys have said that the reason it sounds to me like he's clapping out of time is that my ears are on the piss. Yeah, it's coming to you at different levels.

38:23Yeah, right, different times and stuff. Okay, cool. Well, I've asked the pugs to make a poll at some stage, photo of me, and we're just going to ask the audience, are Keezy's ears on the piss? Yep. Just so we know once and for all. Yeah, cool. That's a binding referendum. Yeah, unfortunately it is. But I know our audience, and they'll back me up. Yeah, cool. Anyway, yeah, Dunedin.

38:42Keyzie:Yeah, very exciting that we're going to be down in Dunedin. We love it down there. And no word of a lie, when we went to Emerson's last time, the place filled up so quickly. There were people waiting outside. So make sure you get an early A-Team. Yeah, boy. 3pm I'd recommend. Because I like nothing more than a bit of chitter chat with the audience before we start. On that note, have you organised a green room for us out the back so we don't have to talk to the punters prior to the show and when the music's on? Pugs, can you get on to that, please, man? Just a green room for the fellas. No, no, I think it's going to be just the standard us all out there chatting.

39:17Keyzie:And maybe some crackers and cheeses. Maybe some cold meats and pickles would be good too. Squid? Yeah, a bit of squid. Big shout out to Emerson's. We'll be there next Wednesday, the 22nd of April. Show starts at 4pm, finishes at 7pm. And first 100 through the door, get a free Backbone shirt. But I'd recommend getting there early. Can't bloody wait. Yeah, great stuff. Hey, heaps coming up after 6 o 'clock. Meet Paddy Nips where we give out advice. And my wife and I have finally figured out, fellas, how to do a practical task together

39:49Keyzie:without filing divorce proceedings. Oh, good for you, man. The Hauraki Big Show with Jace, Mike and Keezy. Tune in weekdays at four on Radio Hauraki. Welcome back, you massive backbones. Hope your Monday's going along okay. You're listening to The Big Show, by the way, brought to you by Toledo's. From work days to workouts, It's Toledo's keeps you balanced, refreshed, and ready to go. Toledo's. Toledo's. I forgot to say it that time because I was so into my dancing. It's good dancing too, Mogi. Really good. Someone's texted through here on 3483 supporting me, by the way, saying that it's not my ears that are on the piss, it's that you're massively out of time with your clapping.

40:33Is that the same person that's spelt Mogi, M-O-N-G-U-I-E-S? Yeah. Yeah. Righto. Well, his spelling's on the piss now. Just because he can't spell doesn't mean that he can't hear your clapping. That's way out of time, you know?

40:48Keyzie:Hey, fellas, weird thing happened to me this morning when I woke up. Can I tell you about it? Sure. Now? Sure. Well, it's not a big deal. Okay. But I woke up this morning, and as I was waking up, I was holding on to something, and I was like, what's that? And it was my wife's bra. That's weird, eh? We went to bed. Yeah. And there was no bra or anything. And then when I woke up this morning, first thing, and I was literally gripping on to my, I mean, she wasn't wearing it. Right. Did she go to bed wearing it? Well, no. But I don't remember her tossing it in the bed or anything like that. And I just woke up and I'm clutching her bra.

41:33Keyzie:Are you sure it was hers? I think so. You know what she said? She said, oh, maybe that's like your sexy X-rated blankie. Oh, yeah. Maybe it is, yeah. Maybe you were having like a nasty dream. A nasty dream? Yeah, because you know how you have those nasty dreams. Yeah, I have such nasty dreams. Yeah, yeah. It was weird, man. I still can't explain it. It's just very odd. It's very, very odd. Do you know what happened in New Zealand? 3483. Flick your text. Coming up next. Can't actually remember. Oh. Oh. Me putting together some... Oh, furniture chat. Furniture chat, yeah. Here's Pixies. How could I forget?

42:15The Hauraki Big Show with Jase, Mike and Keezy. Tune in weekdays at four on Radio Hauraki.

42:21Keyzie:Foo Fighters there on the Radio Hauraki Big Show this Monday evening. And fellas, I had a relationship breakthrough over the weekend. Whereabouts? In my apartment. What happened? At Jase Palace.

42:38Keyzie:Now, I think this is quite a common phenomenon, right? And I was talking about, I don't know if it was on the podcast outro or during the show last week. When my wife and I undertake a practical task together, it always ends in disaster. Now, this is after you guys attempted to build a shelf last week, which resulted in you packing a bit of a sad and her having to be like, hey, it's okay. Yes. And then you having to go and make a coffee for a bit to cool down. Yeah, a couple of times. And when you say results in disaster, you just have a shitter, get in a bad mood and stomp off. Your wife is only there while that is happening.

43:16Keyzie:There's some accuracy to that description. But it's really interesting because, yes, we were putting shelving together last week. And I said to myself, hoiri jay, you are not going to lose patience and you are not going to lose your shit. I made a real effort in that regard in my head and mentally and emotionally. Well, that's the interesting thing because you're very experienced when it comes to shelving. Anyway, within 10 minutes I'd lost my shit. And can I just say we both are guilty of falling into a pattern. So we'll be trying to do this and I will begin to lose patience. Right, okay. It's the pattern sort of like you're trying to get stuff out of the box.

44:04You can't even manage that. You go. Yeah, can you talk us through it real quick, Jase?

44:10Keyzie:No, it's not that bad. Give me five minutes before I start getting shitty. Right, okay. You know what I mean? And then what happens is, you know, we have a bit of a sort of a few crosswords and then I begin to lose patience and then my wife loses patience with me losing patience. Right, okay. You know what I'm saying? So you started. But what often happens, and this is another triggering thing for me, is my wife starts losing patience in anticipation of me losing patience. You know what I'm saying? That sounds... So I haven't lost my patience yet. But you can tell you're on the verge. But she feels like I'm about to, so she gets impatient with me before I've even lost my patience.

44:52Right, so you're blaming her for 25 years of what actually happens as if it's her fault that she consents from you when you're going to get in a bad mood, and probably you are giving her every single sign that you are.

45:04Keyzie:That's right. Yes. Now, I said to my wife, because we bought also this huge set of drawers, and it was three boxes with stuff in it, and I said, the shelves were only one box, and we lost our shit. And I said to my wife, we need to figure out a new system here because this isn't working. And my wife had an idea, and she said, how about this? how about I read the instructions, right? I set it out and then I call you in to do manual labour. Right, so you're the worker. I'm the worker. I screw things in. You know, I do the bits and bobs. She lays everything out and plans it. We built a beautiful set of drawers, not a sign of stress.

45:54Keyzie:Oh, you did it. It worked perfectly. Great. Right. So you figured out the key to making it work with your partner is for her to be in charge. Yes. Yeah, it makes sense. Yeah. 100%. It checks out. I agree with that. Oh. The Hauraki Big Show with Jace, Mike and Keezy. Tune in weekdays at four on Radio Hauraki. The Verve Pipe there on the Radio Hauraki Big Show this Monday evening, the time 25 minutes past six o 'clock. Hey, fellas, you've got testicles, eh? Boy, do I. Lovely lady lumps. That's literally the opposite of testicles. Well, testicular cancer is the number one cancer among young guys here in New Zealand.

46:33It's highly treatable. However, people just aren't checking. So to encourage this, we want you to reach down your pants right now. Fellas, feel around. If you feel anything irregular, seek help from qualified professionals. Yes. And also to remind you, head to lumplottery.co.nz. Get yourself in the draw for a ute as well. It's about raising awareness. Great stuff, Kesey. Was it? Because Moji's cracking up through the whole thing.

46:54Keyzie:Let's talk a little sport, eh, Phil? Sure. Yeah.

47:02Keyzie:Yeah, great stuff. Oh, yeah, sport. Sport, sport. Sport, sport. Okay, enough. Super Rugby. Crusaders pipped by the Reds just. Wow. The Brumbies pipped the Highlanders just. What were the scores? 14-10, Brumbies over Highlanders. Wow, that's how you are. Reds 31-26 over the Crusaders. It was a tight, tough tussle over an Aussie there. And the Drew are just pipping the force 24-22. Wow. But the game of the weekend, the Blues v. the Hurricanes. The Blues and the Hurricanes are the top of the table, kind of. The Hurricanes are just an unbelievable side this year. They are playing the most brilliant rugby.

47:48Keyzie:I'm loving it. Seems like no one can get near them at the moment. Yeah. The Blues were in it for a little while, but then the Hurricanes just did douche and pulled away. 42-19 in the end to the Hurricanes. Yeah, I mean, as far as I'm concerned, the only ones that are going to beat the Hurricanes are the Hurricanes themselves. I agree. Really good point, Moggy. So, JC, are you fully back on the Rugby Union bandwagon? Yeah, I watched that game anyway, and I watched the highlights of the other games. But seriously, the Hurricanes are on fire at the moment. Are they playing good rugby, man? Good rugby, mate.

48:19Keyzie:You know how we sort of think of Wellington rugby? They're playing that style. Nice. And they're doing it. But their forwards are just machines at the moment. So it's great stuff. Good stuff. Yesterday I watched UFC 327. I'll be honest with you. I've gone off the UFC a bit. It feels like they've got really old fighters in there. There's not a lot of great talent coming through. And just generally what the organization stands for sort of annoys me a little bit. But Carlos Ulberg yesterday, the Kiwi, in the light heavyweight division, fought Yuri Prochisca for the vacant light heavyweight belt. This is after Alex Pereira has vacated that belt and is going up to heavyweight and he'll be fighting on the White House card.

49:05Ulberg, it was the first round. He did something. He just went to stand, put his right foot back on the ground after doing something fairly innocuous in the fight. It looked to me like his Achilles blew out, but apparently it's his knee. And after that, he was really operating on one leg. Incredibly, he tried to go for a head kick at one point, but he just kept on collapsing on the ground. Yuri was kicking his legs out from under him. He really was. So I saw that. It looked bloody painful. Bloody painful. But for all intents and purposes, it looked like she was all over. It was just a matter of time.

49:39If it had made it to the end of the first round, then the doctor would have retired Carlos Ulberg. That would have been the end of it. But somehow, Yuri walked into a left hook that I would say the best description for it was it absolutely melted him. He just collapsed on the ground and then Carlos punched him in the head about 48 times before the ref jumped in and decided that the unconscious Yuri was no longer able to defend himself. Fair. And it was probably time to call the fight off. So we've got another world champion in the division. An eight or nine fight win streak. Absolutely unbelievable.

50:15Celebrate him. He is your champion, he is a Kiwi, and he is an absolute smoke show. So what was the injury then? Do we know? Apparently, the last I heard it was an ACL. Right. But I've never ever seen, like, you could see the shockwave go through his calf muscle. It was really something special. Actually, there was a great video put up on Radio Hauraki's social media and the Hauraki Big Show. If you want to see the footage of that and another equally as impressive leg injury to another athlete, Yeah. Hauraki Big Show or Radio Hauraki on your Sosh Med there.

50:47Keyzie:Here's Queen to the Stone Age. The Hauraki Big Show with Jase, Mike and Keezy. Tune in weekdays at four on Radio Hauraki. REM there on the Radio Hauraki Big Show this Monday evening. Let's give out some advice, fellas. Patti Nip 69 at Jivo.com. Get in touch. With the fellas. Meet Patty Nips Pugs is in the B studio covering his mouth because he hasn't heard Jase do that and butcher the sting he's made because he's been away in Vietnam it's his new thing Pugs sorry about that meetpattynips69 at gmail.com it's a real email address get in touch if you have an issue and if we read it on the show get yourself a prize man which is great this one comes from anonymous fellas g'day there fellas big fan of the show I was wondering if you could help me with the dilemma I'm having yeah Whatever man What a loser When playing can a hole Or just having a big night on the hammer with the lads Yeah We often partake in a social ciggy or two I see no problem with the odd durry with the fellers But the miso is not a fan Was wondering if you had any advice on More how to get away with it As I have no plans to stop I thought Jizzbot especially may know a few tricks Cheers Anonymous Your first thing you've got to do is tell her to go fly a kite.

52:15All right? Like literally? Yeah, literally. Does that help? Yeah. To take her mind off things? Totally, man.

52:21Keyzie:Yeah, that's not even an issue for me. Just do it, man. Just do it. Smoke your diary with your mates. And if she doesn't like it, okay. That's fine. It is. That's fine. Because your whole thing with your relationship, Jase, I know is... Here we go. is I don't care if my wife doesn't like it, I'm doing it anyway. Absolutely. And that's worked for you. Well, 30 years, Keezy. Totally. Not bad. Not bad. Is there a world, fellas, where he should say actually? No, there's not. Now, if he was a full-time smoker, then she would have something to chat about. But him having the odd doubt when he's on the ham of seven days a week, obviously an issue.

53:07Honestly man Break up with her Do you know what I mean man? We're too far down the road aren't we? If we're complaining about those sorts of things You're not meant to be together It's as simple as that Let's just flag it I'm on your side I don't think she should be broken up with I do It's more of a like I agree that social ciggies And I don't like smoking

53:29Keyzie:You partake in them don't you Keezy? Sure do Joe You're a shocking bastard Yeah, I'm a shocking bastard on the Siggies. Jase, me. But if everyone's having a dart, it's like having a beer or something out on the... You're not doing anyone any harm. Maybe it's apart from yourself. But it's not a massive deal. Certainly not worth having a moan about it. No, there are bigger issues too. I would just say to her, I'd just sit her down and you're just going to look her in the eye and say, Look, pack your bags, you're off. Yeah, that's really good, Moggy. Just get all your stuff, put it in a bag. Yeah.

54:05Keyzie:Would you have a durry while you... Hit the bricks. And not that bag, that's my bag. Oh, you knew what bag she was? She reached for the wrong bag? Yeah. She was going for my Dolce Gabbana one you gave me. It's Versace. It's also Gabbana. Yeah, I know.

54:23Yeah, it's sad that we had to... End a relationship? But that's how it goes. You'll thank us in the long run. Yeah, totally. Or just, like, don't tell her and put some deodorant on her mouthwash. See, I'm not up for lying to her. Yeah, just nip it in the bud. Yeah, see you later. Yeah, okay. The Hauraki Big Show, weekdays from four on Radio Hauraki.

54:53Keyzie:Well, there you go, you mad boss. It's The Big Show done and dusted this Monday evening. Hope you enjoyed it. Now, what's the podcast outro clip today, Keezy? Now that Pugs is back, I know it'll be something that looks to embarrass me. It's funny you say that, Jase. It is actually the bet that we all agreed on. All right, okay. To do with you giving up vaping. Yeah, man. The episode comes out at 7.30 tonight. Search Haraki Big Show wherever you get your podcasts from. So, Jase, come on, man. This is like you're taking money out of my wallet here, man. I need you to be on your bet. Yeah, no, fair, fair, Keezy, fair.

55:26It's almost worth it, Jase, for you to throw it. to lose just because it costs Keezy a hundred bucks. Imagine Jase comes in on the final day of May and just rips off. So let me just say, so obviously we've got this bit there. Jase, I want you to give up, obviously, and I hope this puts the lead in your pencil so that you follow through on it for once in your goddamn life, man. You've got to do it. Yeah, man. Like me, man. I was smoking on the weekend, but I'm putting the finger at you. But I want you to know if you do fail, I won't accept the$100 from you, man. Thanks, Mokie. I'll just accept it from Keezy.

56:04No, because what you're doing there is giving him more incentive to fail. Well, no, he won't be failing. Well, he might be, but I'll be succeeding because I'll win a hundy. Keezy, Keezy, I will not fail. You promise? Yeah, man. No, look at me and say, you promise. Well, I'm not going to look at you and say it. He looked straight at you and said, yeah, man.

56:26Keyzie:We are going to do this, Keezy Are we? Yeah, man No, going to do what? Not vape for an entire month Okay, May Which month? The month of May In 2026 2026 Yes Now, Moggy Don't give him any bloody loopholes What are you doing tonight? What are you eating and all that? Quickly, please Great question, man I don't know Yes But I'll be working Okay, good Big week this week, fellas Keezy, what are you eating tonight, man? Tonight, I think we're having quesadillas. What's wrong with that? Porkmins. Quesadillas. Quesadillas. A case of deas. Right, okay, nice. Quesadillas. What are you doing tonight there, Jason?

57:07Keyzie:We're going to be eating my A number one spicy chicken soup. Can you bring some in tomorrow? Yes, can you? With garlic bread. Can you please bring some in? We'll review it on the show. We'll see because my daughter also loves this chicken soup and her boyfriend was over and my wife and I will be eating it. So if there's any left, sure. Because I would love to do a review. Haven't I already done that before? Oh, was that something else? It was chutney. Oh, right. Hey, have a good night. Bye. Have a good night.