FULL SHOW: Englebirdshit Chrisperdink

15:54Keyzie:Gold miner? What? Okay. Yeah. Backbone. Oh, okay. Down the river there, are you? What's the most you've got in a day, James? 10 grand.

16:05Jase:10 grams or 10 grand?

16:08Keyzie:10 grand. Oh, that's pretty good, isn't it?

16:10Jase:Yeah, that's not too bad, actually. Not too bad at all. Yeah, absolutely. And what river are you working out of? Oh, the one right by your house, maybe. Yeah, I thought as much, man, thought as much. Yeah, nice, nice. All right, James, well, I'll tell you what. You're about as much a gold miner as I am a plasterer. Yeah. Yes, mate. We'll chuck you on hold there, James, mate. Keep your phone on. We could be calling you with$100 and some meat, all right?

16:36Keyzie:Yeah, mate, bloody good. Good on you, mate. Let's go to another James. G'day, James, your man. Hey, bastard, how's life? How's it going, guys? Yeah, good, thanks, mate. How's your day going, James? Yeah, not too bad, eh? All good. I was talking to you guys before. I didn't realise it was another James. So did you just have a full conversation with us without realising, James?

16:57Jase:Yeah, indeed. Well done, mate. Hey, man, what's your favourite Red Hot Chili Peppers song?

17:02Keyzie:I'd have to say Under the Bridge. Yeah, good idea, mate.

17:05Jase:Good idea. That's it. Great question. Also, James, real quick, man, what do you do for a crust? brother?

17:11Keyzie:At the moment I'm chugging the old Benny back mate. Get back on my horse soon.

17:17Jase:Nah don't worry about it man stay off your horse. Put your feet up

17:20Keyzie:brother you've earned it. Well if we call you later on in the show James you'll be rich anyway mate and you'll have you know a fridge full of meat. Oh thanks mate. Cheers guys. Keep your phone on you mate. We might be giving you a call later on. Thank you very much James. A reminder that's happening again tomorrow if you want some cash and some meat there fellas. Good stuff man. Memories. This takes me back, man. To my blue light disco. School socials. School socials. Passion in the corner. What was that teacher's name again? Come on, Keesey. The Hauraki Big Show. Weekdays from four on Radio Hauraki.

17:57Keyzie:Yes, indeed. The Clash there on the Radio Hauraki Big Show. This Thursday afternoon. The time is 4.52. Let's talk TV. What's on the telly with Mike Minogue?

18:12Jase:She was a ripper last night there, fellas.

18:17Jase:Night of the Seven Kingdoms. First episode. First episode. It's an HBO. It's a spin-off of Game of Thrones, and it's on neon. You can watch it on neon there. I'd heard a lot of things, but you hated the first episode, Jase. Yeah, I wasn't a big fan, no. But because I know that it gets better, maybe I was looking at it with a kinder eye, but there were some great lines in there. Yes. I sort of, very much in that writing style, you know in the Game of Thrones where they just had, some of the characters just had magnificent insults for each other, they would just say the most horrible things. There were three or four absolute belters last night that had me cracking up, just really mean.

18:56Jase:Yes. Just great, great stuff. So it's the story of a guy, it opens and he is an assistant, there's a name for it, but an assistant. Squire. A squire for a knight. Yes. The knight drops dead before this young fella's had the opportunity to become a knight himself. It doesn't sound like the knight was a particularly nice fella. So he goes on and he wants to get into a tournament to make his name and he just goes around lying and saying that he is in fact a knight, which he definitely is not. Yeah. And, yeah, he meets a sort of a cast of varying characters, some nice, some not so nice, mostly not nice, and gets himself into a bit of trouble.

19:39Jase:The guy's a real dimwit. He's an idiot. He's a big, tall moron. Yeah, great. Really enjoyed it. I'll give it probably three and a half to four buzzies in there out of a possible five. Looking forward to cracking into more of it. I'm glad it exists. Yes. Gave me some good laughs.

19:57Keyzie:Yeah, well, I think I suffered in terms of the first episode from Game of Thrones-itis. Right. But absolutely, I'm really enjoying it. I'm up to date. Yeah. I won't let you know what happens, but it's very good. It's very good.

20:10Jase:Can I say the other spin-off, House of the Dragon or whatever it was? Yes. And I watched that all the way through the first season, at least anyway, and you're sort of waiting for it to get good, and it never really did. This is already head and shoulders above that. Yes. Agreed. I could probably Google this, but it must be based off a book or something. It's a very early story. It is a George R. R. Martin story. That's why the insults and stuff will be so good. Because all of the, what's it called, where you're just chatting in Game of Thrones, just a basic five-minute-long conversation between two characters was somehow awesome to watch.

20:44And so if he's done that again with this new one, I'll be keen.

20:47Keyzie:It's great. I had a bit of a moment last night. I was scrolling through Neon there because I haven't had Neon for so long. And then I saw The Last of Us. And I went, oh, my God. I haven't seen the second season. Of course, as the fellas, we all went and saw the premiere of that. That's right. The first episode. And I went, oh, I've seen the first episode, but I haven't seen the rest of it. How good. So my wife watched the first episode and I went through it again because I couldn't quite remember what was going on. Then into the second episode, bloody good. Have you guys watched it? Yeah. So it's one of those great things where you completely forget about it and then you discover it again and go, oh, how good, I've got that to watch for the next few days.

21:30Jase:Absolute cracker of a season. The second season's really good as well.

21:32Keyzie:Yeah, well, the second episode was a humdinger. I'll give it four buzzies. Out of five? Yes.

21:40Jase:That's good for Jase. Jase doesn't creep up to the fours. Not generally, no. No, no, that is good. Actually, you've reminded me, I haven't watched the second season either, either and we've got Neon because my wife wanted to watch Small Town Scandal we watched the second episode of that by the way very funny better than the first episode and now I just want to see what happens like it's very very good like it is very funny and all the characters are just ridiculous but now that I've got Neon again I'm like cool Night of the Seven Kingdoms I want to watch Chernobyl again such a good show and I want to watch The Last of Us season 2 because I forgot that existed as well so there's a lot of good stuff there it's really good

22:16Keyzie:actually the highest rating I think I've ever given was 4.6 for Game of Two Heards, I think. My old show. Thanks, man. I appreciate that. That was a great show, Gizzi. Really? I wouldn't miss it for the world. What was your favourite part about it? Oh, just the interactions, the wit, the comedy. You haven't watched any of it. The chemistry. You have not watched any of it. Hey, now, heaps coming up after five o 'clock, by the way. Old Mogey Minogies got a one and a half Mogeys. That is the most confusing sentence ever said on radio.

22:46Jase:If you saw Jase while he was saying that, his brain nearly fell.

22:49Keyzie:Yeah, it did. I was really trying to compute what I was saying. Okay, Mogi's got a story about his daughter. That's what's happening after five. The Hauraki Big Show with Jase, Mike and Keezy. Tune in weekdays at four on Radio Hauraki. G'day, you mad bastards. Hope your Thursday's going along very nicely indeed. You are a fan listening to The Big Show, brought to you by ReBurger. Beef, chicken, vegan and vegetarian options. Reburger are redefining the norm.

23:18Jase:Dish, dish, dish, dish, dish, dish, dish. Oh, good day, mate. How are you? Oh, yeah, pretty good, thanks. What are you playing? What are you playing there? It's a new game where you order Reburger. Dish, dish, dish. What? Yeah, you just order Reburger because obviously, you know, it's so good. but it's handcrafted, and they serve the good times, and you can get the good food if you're really good at it as well. Sorry, so you're playing a video game. Oh, yeah, here you go. See, what's this bit? See, this is the bit where I get the rebugger. Yum, yum, yum, yum, yum, yum, yum, yum, yum, yum. Oh, Jase is happy with the new sting.

24:03Jase:He likes that one. Good work, pugs. My favourite part of that was when the guy asked him the question, what are you doing, and then the other guy talks to the one that's playing a vinegar game talks real slow because he's concentrating on the game or when people ask you, you're concentrating on a hard bit. Yes. So you talk slower. That was really good. Very, very good. I'll give that 4.3 buzzies. That's almost as good as crowd goes. What's the other one?

24:28Keyzie:Game of Two Halves. Yeah, that one. Yeah, yeah. Actually, give us your rating of Game of Two Halves on 3, 4, 8, 3. The show hasn't been on TV for months. It's just a great show. No, I know, but why are we bringing it up now and asking for people's advice. Is it coming back, Kesey? I don't know, Jase. Hopefully, man. They do arrive.

24:47Jase:Tomatoes ranking, right? There's a percentage there. There's an IMDb one as well. We should be doing a big show one on these shows. So we chuck it up on socials, people give it a vote, and then we can give it a big show Buzzy rating. Well, we already kind of do that. So imagine if you Googled a new show, and then it had the Rotten Tomatoes score, the IMDb, and then how many Buzzies out of five. I reckon that could go international. But, yeah, stop bringing up that old TV show, please.

25:15Keyzie:It's a cracker, man. No, I know. It's a cracker. If people actually wanted to see that now and they missed it, Keezy, would that be on TVNZ Plus? It was on Sky. Oh. You so loved watching it, didn't you? I loved it, man. Yeah, yeah. There's Radiohead. The Hauraki Big Show with Jase, Mike and Keezy. Tune in weekdays at four on Radio Hauraki. Yes, indeed, Green Day there on the Radio Hodaki Big Show this Thursday afternoon. The time, 12 minutes past 5 o 'clock. 5, 6, 7, 8.

25:47Jase:1, 2, 3, 3, 4, 1.

26:00Jase:1 and a half, mogies. Tush, tush. Tush, tush, tush, tush. Fellas, old mate Mogi Minogi, my daughter, six and a half She started back at school this week Year two, they call it Used to be Prima two when I was coming through, Keezy Was it year two for you? They changed the system by then? Yeah, it was year two Or standard two? No, that's later on Prima one, Prima two, Prima three, Prima four Standard one, standard two, standard three, standard four

26:34Keyzie:And then when is form one, form two, form three, form four, five form?

26:41Jase:Anyway, she's taken up speech and drama. Ah. Speech and drama, which I never did as a kid. We were talking about that off air a little bit earlier, but it wasn't the sort of thing that a lot of people adopted. No. Probably for fear of getting their beans at lunchtime. Someone smacked you over for that. But I guess nowadays it's much more accepted. So anyway, I had a phone call from the teacher, and they said that she is very gifted. Well, great. Very gifted. And in fact, the teacher there has had a word with her husband's sister, who is an agent in Hollywood, and she's just been given the lead role in the remake of Annie.

27:35That's after one lesson of speech and drama. I know. That's unbelievable. Isn't that incredible?

27:44Jase:It's extraordinary. How does that even happen? Well, this was the thing. It was because the teacher's husband and sister has been an agent overseas but she's here back for the Christmas holidays and all that sort of thing. She happened to be there at the class. It's a long holiday. Well, she actually just got here a couple of days ago. It's like different holidays over in America, Keese. Yeah, true that. In Hollywood, they do things differently over there. I don't know if you know that. Right, so she... Will she have to move to Hollywood? I don't think so. Right. But I guess... I don't know. We'll have to look at all that sort of stuff, but from what I understand, it's going to be big money.

28:22Keyzie:It's funny, actually, because I remember my youngest, Mogey, did speech and drama. Wait, your youngest is called Mogey? Strangely enough, yes. Mogey Hoyt. Little name, Keezy. And the interesting thing, because she's quite a shy retiring sort of type. And she had her first speech coming up. and she was terrified, you know, just filled with fear. And I just said, you got this, you know, you're a champion, you're a clever girl, you're a great speaker, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. And it was in front of the whole class and parents were invited to come. So we all went along and she went up there to give her speech and just froze.

29:11Keyzie:Yeah. Oh, no. I have never been more embarrassed in my life. It's a shameful moment. Seriously, and afterwards I said, you can find your own way home.

29:23Jase:I mean, that's pretty... How old was she? Six. Did she find her own way home? Eventually. That's pretty full on. But she loves speech now, doesn't she, and sort of performing and that? Oh, yeah.

29:42Well, that's great news, Moggy.

29:44Jase:Thanks, man. Yeah, yeah. We'll see how it goes, I guess.

29:49What's your relationship like with your daughter?

29:51Keyzie:Me and her? Yeah. Oh, we get on great guns. Oh, okay, cool, cool. The Hodaki Big Show, weekdays from four on Radio Hodaki. Kings of Leon there on the Radio Hodaki Big Show this Thursday evening, the time 5.23. Fellas, I've got pretty good taste in music, I think. I've seen some great concerts. I've seen quite a few. you know Metallica in 2010 at Spark Arena one of my all-time favourites

30:19Jase:it's gone back a while Keezy it's 16 years ago what else you got man? well Billy Joel yeah 2022 I think it was seriously the best concert I've ever seen yeah and a few others in there as well and I feel like now that I am on Radio Hodaki I have to be very sort of selective about the gigs that I go to for example I know you guys weren't super stoked that I went to Billy Joel and said it was the best concert I've ever been to. When it was the Piano Man, he lit it up. Yes, the Piano Man. Yeah, exactly. I hate him. There is a singer who has announced that he's coming to New Zealand for the first time in seven years.

30:55Has it been seven years? It's been seven years since this singer has come to New Zealand, and I will freely admit that when I get home from having a few beers with my mates and I'm a wee bit steamed, this guy gets more run than anyone else, and I really want to go see him live and he is only 90 years old. How hot. Who is it?

31:19Jase:It's hard to say really because your taste is so poor. It could be anyone. All right. Probably someone I've never heard of. Engelbert Humperdinck. Moggy. Dance, dance, dance to my ten guitar. Engelbert. Mother flipping Humperdinck. It's coming to New Zealand, man. How good is that? I've nailed it. Holy heck. And he's 19. He's 89 now, but by the time he gets here, he's 19. And it's probably one of his last tours ever. I think it's definitely one of his last tours. Maybe. I don't want to, you know, he might get back on the horse. The last time we was here was, what, seven years ago? Yeah. It's his last tour.

31:58And I grew up listening to, because of my mum and my uncles and stuff, they played a lot of Inglebert Humperdinck. And he's got some bangers, man. Check this one out.

32:09Keyzie:Lips are warm while yours are cold.

32:14Jase:You know, you feel me? That sounds exactly the same as

32:17Keyzie:Please release me, my darling. Let me go. And the thing about Inglebert Humperdinck is when you are steamed and you want to sing along to something. Yeah, that is not it. No, you can't.

32:31Jase:Because I sort of think of Pearl Jam Black or Oceans or, you know. You can't sing along to that. You absolutely can. And I don't know, Keezer, you are an old man in a younger man's body. Yes, that's true. That is without a doubt.

32:45Keyzie:I saw a video just recently, and I can't remember the name. I think it was Barry Manilow.

32:50Jase:Yeah.

32:52Keyzie:And he was doing a concert, and he was so old that he literally had no idea what he was doing.

33:00Jase:Oh, yeah, no, that was somebody. I saw that one as well. Who was it? It was like Frankie Valli or something like that. Yeah, something like that.

33:07Keyzie:And they were just literally leading him around. He didn't know what was going on. He didn't know what was going on. Not frankly, the four seasons were leading him around.

33:14Jase:No, the other seasons were well gone. Yeah, right. These were some young fellas just shoving him around. Yeah, he had that vacant.

33:22Keyzie:He literally had no idea what was happening. But as long as Inglebert can still, you know, bang this stuff out. I can wait a moment more. Tell me when, when, when, when, when

33:39Jase:I mean it's offensively poor, isn't it? It's amazing. This stuff is like, I love this music. Seriously, I do.

33:47Keyzie:You're bang on, Moggy, when you say he is a massively old man. He is. In a slightly sort of decrepit, broken down younger man's body. So what do you reckon? Is it all GFI guys?

34:01Jase:Oh, you've absolutely got to go. Yeah, okay. I think it's on brand. Yeah, for me. Yeah. Not for Hodaki. You're going to be on, they still have that channel Coast and Gold and all that sort of stuff. They've got Coast, yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I don't know if the Coast playlist is old enough for your taste. I don't think they play Inglebert. But look, 3483, please have your opinion. Should we do a live show and then all go to Inglebert together?

34:28Keyzie:Oh, I'm not going. I tell you what, actually. My wife would be into it, and I'll go along. Really? Yeah, how good. My wife would be into it as well. Let's go. Okay, you're on. All right, let's lock it in. Me and Hoity J singing along to this. Can't wait. To hold me every day I wake up Then I start to break up Lonely as a man without love The Hauraki Big Show with Jace, Mike and Kesey. Tune in weekdays at four on Radio Hauraki. I want free, big air.

35:04Jase:Do you lose a decision? Yeah.

35:08Keyzie:Yes, indeed. When you hear the Ree-Burger sting in the middle of a song, give us a call on 0800-HODAKI and win yourself a$50 Ree-Burger voucher. I tell you who did that, Miles. G'day, Miles, you mad bastard. How's life? G'day, hoity, Jay. Very well, thanks, mate. How are you getting on? Yeah, very well, thanks. Thanks for asking, man. And tell me, Miles, you're on your way home, are you? Just rocked up now. Just got home, mate. Good on you, mate. I was going to say, how far away are you? A few miles?

35:43Good on you, Keezy. Thanks, Miles. That was very generous of you. What do you do for a crust, brother? I work in the car industry. I sell cars, and I get the nickname Kilometers. How about that? Do you love it? That is good. How fitting is that, fellas?

35:59Jase:Oh, you love it. That's good stuff. Oh, absolutely. Hey, Miles, man, I'm really keen to give you this Reburger voucher. I'm just going to ask you a couple of questions and make sure you're not AI. Yeah, sweet as. Can't you already tell? I'm not AI, mate. Nah, you could be, though. We don't know, Miles. It's protocol, man. Like, I don't make the rules, man. Fire away. What's for dinner? A good question, man. Not too sure. Something on the food bag. Yeah, the old food bag.

36:27Keyzie:Haven't been on those for a while. No, neither. Not for a long time. The old feed bag. I just found that there was too many carrots. Why don't you order, you pick the meals, pick the meals that don't have carrots. They just kept chucking in bags of carrots all the time. Right. And every meal had like shredded carrot. Yeah, it's the only time I eat healthy these days, mate. Yeah, that's all right. Yeah, I understand. You're a fact, mate. Hey, Miles, how often do you floss?

36:53Pretty much when I'm just at my girlfriend's, eh? Try to dabble dabble then, yeah. Yeah, good on you, mate. It's good on you. She's got the supplies. Yeah, of course. What colour are your undies, Miles? Good question. They're grey today, brother. Grey. Nice.

37:08Jase:You're running the Calvin Klein's, are you? Nah, man, they're the Kmart ones. Oh, nice.

37:15Keyzie:I'm running some grey ones today too for anyone that cares. Actually, maybe we'll take a pic of them. Yeah, I care. Yeah, okay, good. So wait, you want to take a photo of your undies? Yes. And Miles' undies? Yes. And then put it on Instagram? Yeah, totally. That sounds great. That would be a hell of a post. Final question for you, brother. What's your deepest fear? Deepest fear? I'm quite afraid of heights, eh? Yeah, right.

37:41Jase:Everybody is, apparently, man. There's a lot of people saying it's the heights. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Scares the shit out of me, eh?

37:48Keyzie:Yeah, man. Yeah, gotcha, gotcha. All right, Miles, will you stay on the line and I'll park some and we'll saw you out with that$50 e-burger voucher, right, mate? Oh, bloody awesome. Cheers, fellas. Good on you, mate. Thanks for listening.

37:58Jase:How do you go with the heights there, jizz? Yeah, jizz.

38:03Keyzie:It's interesting. Do you guys get that urge when you're up high, somewhere to just chuck yourself off? I don't trust myself, that's for sure.

38:11Jase:No, I don't. I never used to care about heights at all, but as I've gotten older, I've gotten worse with them. Yeah, I think I'm the same. Yeah.

38:17Keyzie:Used to love heights. Never used to bother me, but if you're up high, that's why when we were looking at apartments and stuff, the idea of being up really high with a sort of balcony at your waist level really didn't appeal to me. I was like, I could see myself just, you know. Was the balcony at your waist level? Are you sure it wasn't like a curb or something? Also, do you remember when you were supposed to jump off the Auckland Harbour Bridge and then I had to do it? Well, look, it was my heart, man. It was my heart. That's right. You failed the physical. Yeah, that was terrifying. Failed a physical for a moment.

38:55Here's Linkin Park. The Hauraki Big Show, weekdays from four on Radio Hauraki.

39:00Keyzie:Yes, indeed, the cult there on the Radio Hauraki Big Show this Thursday evening. The time is 5.47. Coming up after 6 o 'clock, we're going to do What's on the Dinner with me, Keezy. So if you'd like to win yourself a$50 Reburger voucher, give us a text on 3483 and just tell us what you're having for dinner and who you are.

39:18Jase:Fellas, yesterday I had a little bit of a, you know, it was a bone to pick, wasn't it? Yeah. We had done Secret Santa leading up to Christmas in the office here. I had very, very generously put together quite a thoughtful gift. It was a green Secret Santa, which meant you had to bring something from home rather than buying something brand new. I provided an Apple speaker. That was quite good. A Bluetooth Apple speaker. Which works. Very good, very good. It works, yeah. Everything, all of the gifts I gave worked. Right. The other gift I gave was a quite special vacuum cleaner. A broken vacuum cleaner.

39:55Jase:No, it works perfectly well. It was excess to requirements. It was held together by duct tape. It was held together. Did it suck hard? Oh, you've never ever felt anything like it. When you say felt, you mean like? Never you mind. Anyway, we were having a bit of a chat about it. I had kindly given this. It was the lucky recipient was Zoe, the producer for The Breakfast Show. I noticed that the Apple speaker disappeared off the face of the earth. Apparently she took that home. And yet the office and the studio here has been littered with this gift. She's not taking it home. Now, it's her gift. I've given it to her.

40:36Jase:Absolutely. You don't get to just go, nah, and just leave it there. If you're sitting around at Christmas and someone gives you a gift, you don't just leave it there and walk away from it. It's up to you to take it away. Look, I can handle almost that she doesn't like the gift. The broken vacuum cleaner, yeah. Re-gift it. Put it in the rubbish bin if that's how you feel about it. Put it on Trade Me. Exactly. But don't just leave it lying around. It's her responsibility, but it's sort of been left here as if it's still my responsibility. Anyway, the audio's made its way to the breakfast show. Yeah, I think they listened to it this morning.

41:08Right. And they've had some sort of rebuttal on the matter. In the head of the vacuum cleaner, It's got one of those things that spins, and that is just covered in fur. It looks like you ran it over Chewbacca. No, it is broken. It does suck. It came in a garbage bag. Yeah.

41:23Jase:So you haven't been tempted to take it home? I mean, it has been utilized here in the studio. We have vacuumed a couple of things. Well, you talk about Mike Hosking having a vacuum in the studio, so you're welcome. I'm going to leave it here for you, for everyone to use. Yeah. I mean, the problem with the vacuum cleaner, it's great having a vacuum cleaner in your office, to be honest, but the problem is it doesn't have a cupboard to sit in. What's the plan there? It's your vacuum cleaner.

41:46Keyzie:Listen, someone forgot that they even had me for Secret Santa, so I got the leftover gift. So I have a small apartment. Where is it going to go? I don't have a whole lot of storage space.

41:54Jase:Well, look, I think your loss is the listener's gain. Why don't we give it away? 3483 0800 Horeki. First caller through wins a second-hand vacuum cleaner. Third hand. Sorry, third hand. All right, we'll go to line number three. Good morning. Welcome to the show. Who are we talking to? Oh, hi, I'm Ange. Hi, Ange. Congratulations, you've won the vacuum cleaner. Oh, damn it. I wanted to get it. I thought that was the gong. Oh, you thought you heard the gong to come with us to Byron Bay. Yeah. So they tried to give it away, and the woman that got it, just like Zoe, also didn't want it. Yeah. I mean, you must have hurt feelings at this point.

42:31Jase:Well, it's very interesting to me because you would have assumed that Manaya and Jerry would have been against us as well, me. But they're on our side. It is hers. Yes. So she does have to take responsibility for it. Absolutely, she does. Yeah, I don't know. We're going to have to, I think we're going to have to move this up to HR. It's an HR thing. Can I just put it this way, Mogi? Not your problem anymore. I know it's hurtful. Because I don't want to have to see it. There's a reason why I got it out of the goddamn office, and now I have to see it in this office. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

43:03Keyzie:Yeah, no, okay, fair enough. If only there was like some magical giant like bin thing that you could just throw something in that you didn't want anymore. Yes. You know what I mean? Yes. But we don't live in a fairytale world, Pugs. That doesn't exist. So, God, this is a dilemma.

43:17Jase:It is. Well, we should be able to sort it out. Do you need a vacuum, Jase? No, I've got a great vac. Well, if anybody out there wants it, 3483. Yeah, totally. Go 310800. It's a bloody ripper, isn't it, fellas? No. The Hauraki Big Show. Weekdays from 4 on Radio Hauraki.

43:35Keyzie:Gorillaz there on the Radio Hauraki Big Show this Thursday evening. The time is 5 to 6. Keep the text coming for What's for Dinner with Keezy 3483. Let us know what's for dinner and you could win yourself a$50 e-burger voucher. That's right. Heaps of good texts already flying in, fellas. Yeah, great. A few bad texts too. Like earlier in the show I was talking about how I'm really, really keen to go and see Engelbert Humperdink live. Yes. And then this guy or this person, Jordan from Huntley, has just texted through Engelbert shit crisperdink. You know, that doesn't even make sense No, that's great No, that's really good, I appreciate that

44:12Jase:We should rename what's on the dinner with me, T To ingle shit, humper shit What was that? Ingle shit, humper shit That doesn't make sense It was ingle bird shit, crisper dink So any text like that will not be read out on here, alright? Wow Except that one Except for that one, because it was good, yeah

44:38The Hauraki Big Show with Jace, Mike and Keezy. Tune in weekdays at four on Radio Hauraki.

44:44Keyzie:Welcome back, you massive backbones. Hope your Thursday night's going along very nicely indeed. You are listening to The Big Show, brought to you by Reburger. Crave with your street food, freshly made with Reburger.

44:57Keyzie:Tell you what, fellas, the weather's turned a bit.

45:00Jase:Yeah. Pretty weird out there, isn't it? It's weird, man, because before it was sunny and yet now... It's raining. What's that about? Something's going on, man. What's that about? PC gone mad. It is. It's insanity.

45:10Keyzie:How am I expected to walk home when it's raining?

45:13Jase:You got your lemon shirt on. You'll be all right, man.

45:16Keyzie:I can see my nips chafing because of the cold. Fellas, up next is what's on the dinner. Yes. Even though that sentence has just put me off my dinner. But before we get into that, I was wondering, what are you guys having tonight, man?

45:29Jase:Well, my wife has texted me and she has said to me, she said, she said, she says, don't suppose you're getting free pizza tonight because we got that last night. So she was hopeful because she can't be bothered with the cooking. Right, so she's hoping that you would steal pizza because we stole that from ZM. We did. So she's hoping that you'd steal her some from ZM as well. Yeah, pretty much that, but also anything at all, even if it was just me. But I've settled on dumplings, fellas. Yeah, nice, nice. Got a delicious frozen dumpling. What are you going with there?

45:58Keyzie:I've got to tell you, fellas, just on the dinner last night was a shocker. Was it? Did you go out again? No. My wife. Oh, God. And she herself said, I was so frustrated in the supermarket, I was nearly in tears trying to decide what to choose. Because she knows how you react. And she ended up buying broccoli. Oh, what? And made a broccoli salad, which was underdressed. And she also bought minute steaks. I don't know if you know what I'm... Like schnitzel or really thin steaks? and you can be guaranteed they will be like leather. I don't like steak to even start with. Minute steaks, you cook them for like two minutes, not even that, each side, leather.

46:45I know the issue here. You're cooking them for two minutes and they're a minute steak.

46:50Jase:I was outraged, and even she was outraged. You're saying that the neighbours were complaining about the noise you were getting off. I was absolutely fuming. You're saying the homeless blokes outside that were, hanging off the glue bag we're telling you to pipe down. Hey, up next, what's on the dinner? What are you having for tea tonight in New Zealand? Give us a text on 3483 and you could win some Reburger. The Hauraki Big Show with Jase, Mike and Kesey. Tune in weekdays at four on Radio Hauraki.

47:21Keyzie:Alison Chains here on the Radio Hauraki Big Show this Thursday evening, but right now it's time for... Oh, yeah, hey, guys. Text here from Steve. What's on the tea with me? Dinner. Yeah, what's on the tea with me dinner? Where you text it on 3483 what you're having for dinner and then we read it out and then give out re-burger vouchers. People have just started texting and stuff that vaguely sounds like Inglebert Humperdinck now. Greg Inglis burnt humpback whale shit. It doesn't make sense. At least this one, Inglebert strumpled drumstick is kind of related to the topic. If you don't know what we're talking about Who's that from?

48:04Listen to the podcast, that's from Nick Would you guys like some meals? Yes please Alright, here we go G'day fellas, Will here Hunting Yeah, hunting, Will hunting G'day fellas, Will hunting here Plain pasta with a couple of coldies

48:27Jase:How was the time of that puke there? Yeah, that was good

48:29Keyzie:That is a nightmare to me.

48:32Jase:Plain pasta's no good.

48:33Keyzie:Just pasta on its own. No, no, no, no. With a few beers? Just ditch the pasta. What? What is he doing there? Just have your few beersies. Yeah, that's true. Actually, I had an amazing dinner hack the other night, which was genuinely delicious and took like five minutes to make. It was, there's this nice, I can tell you guys I don't give a shit, but I'm saying it anyway. There's this really nice like tortellini style pasta you can get in the refrigerated section made in Italy. and the inside stuffing is like parma reggiano or whatever the cheese is that they use on all the, you know, like carbonaras and stuff.

49:07That's inside it. It takes two minutes. You boil it. I put some truffle oil on it, a bit of rocket, and some prosciutto. Literally took five minutes, and it was delicious. It was delicious.

49:21Jase:Is this earnest chat with me, Keezy? Earnest pasta chat with me, Keezy. I'm sorry for being passionate, all right?

49:29Keyzie:No, that's interesting. You're so passionate about food that you pick food that takes two minutes to cook. Says minute steak, man. Another one's just come through here. Can I just ask that? You know what I'm talking about, eh? Is it minute steak or minute steak?

49:46Jase:I know what you mean. I'm pretty sure it is minute steak because it takes a minute to cook. It's garbage. It's an abomination, yeah. How about this one here? Evil burp humper mink.

49:58Stop Evil Bert's good Stop sending these texts through This is not what this segment is This isn't just sending stuff That sounds like an old singer This is What's for Dinner Yes With me tea Or whatever the hell Jay says there G'day guys Melanie here

50:14Jase:Bracewell Wow Friend of the show Melanie Bracewell How good Former hoducky Comedian G'day guys Melanie Bracewell here For dinner tonight Unfortunately nothing Hanging out till payday Trying to suss something might have to be cereal for dinner. Yeah, there's nothing wrong with cereal for dinner, Melanie.

50:29Keyzie:I've had many cereal dinners in the time.

50:31Jase:Yeah, Weet-Bix.

50:33Keyzie:Yeah, Weet-Bix, cornflakes.

50:34Jase:If you can live on the bones of your ass, you can do anything. Totally. You've been on the bones of your ass, Jase. Oh, yeah. I've been on the bones of my ass. Loved it. Yes. I, only when I was a student. What's the bones of your ass? It's like genuinely like you have no food. Well, I'll tell you this, Keezy. on double-digit occasions. I made the decision on a Monday. I had to choose between whether I would eat for the week or whether I would smoke cigarettes. That's how much money I had. And I chose cigarettes every single time without fail. And I had zero money either saved or in my possession at all.

51:15Jase:Right. And nobody was coming to help me. I didn't even have a missus to bludge off. So I'm sorry, is this like earnest chat with old Mogi? No, that's old Mogi answering your question. I've totally been there myself.

51:29Keyzie:Money runs out after two days. You've got to somehow get through for the next five. I have not been on the bones. And you do that every single week. Yes. Yeah, I have not been on the bones of my ass then, fortunately. G'day, fellas. Tom here. Hanks.

51:44Jase:Oh, nice. Yeah, it's Tom Hanks. G'day, fellas. Tom Hanks here. I'm going to mummy's for dinner. That sounds like Tom Hanks. He's a wet blanket, isn't he? Yeah, he's a bit of a dribble, isn't he? Yeah, yeah. Just checking if there's any more Inglebert texts. No, they don't. Oren's text through here saying, I think they call them jizz steaks in Europe. So hopefully that's helpful. The Hauraki Big Show, weekdays from four on Radio Hauraki.

52:11Keyzie:You two there on the Radio Hauraki Big Show this Thursday evening. Fellas, how do you feel about giving away some meat and some money? Now you're talking. What's this? A Radio Horaki bar tab? A bar tab. It's to celebrate National Lamb Day, February 15, which is this Sunday. Make sure you raise a chop on National Lamb Day. I certainly will be firing up the old barbie. I tell you what, when Mogi and I were talking about being on the bones of our ass, the old lamb was well out of range, wasn't it, Mogi? Absolutely, it was. Being such a good cut of meat. Well, fortunately, Pugs has randomly selected a number, and I believe it is James.

52:59Okay. Who was on the bones of his ass, and he was on the benefit at the moment. Right, yes, yes, good, good. So let's give him a call, and if he answers, he gets some cash, and he gets a meat pack thanks to Beef and Lamb New Zealand.

53:10Keyzie:Are you tired if he's going to declare that? You know how you have to sort of tell them if you get extra cash?

53:16Jase:Oh, yeah. I'm not sure this counts. This is a windfall.

53:20Keyzie:Yeah, that's true. Hello? Yeah, g'day, James. It's the fellas from The Big Show. How are you going, you mad bastard? Oh, not too bad, thanks, guys. Good on you, mates. Good on you. Now, you'll recall, of course, James, you called us earlier in the day, didn't you? Indeed. Great stuff. Well, the good news is, mate, we want to give you some meat and some cash.

53:39Jase:Oh, lovely. Cheers, guys. No worries, mate. You like your meat, James? I love my meat, mate. Yeah. So does my wife. Yeah. Oh, how good. Now we're talking. Now we're talking. All right. Well, good news is, mate, we are going to send you some cash and some meat, man. So you just hold the line there and old pug son will sort you out, all right? Oh, cheers, guys. Thanks, E. Good on you, brother. No worries, man.

54:01Keyzie:Have a good one. Backbone. Massive backbone. Huge backbone. Hey, fellas, just for National Lamb Day, are you guys still keen to come over to mine and fire up the old barbie?

54:10Jase:Yeah, totes. Still keen. Oh, yeah, that's right. We said that, didn't we? Absolutely. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Sunday Arbo. It's a tradition, Gizzi. It is. We're going to raise the chop. We're going to raise the chop. Because I thought this is how it would work, is you guys come around, we'll fire the barbie up, cook all the chops, and then we'll all sort of raise them. Everybody raise one. Make sure you've all got one, yeah. And then we do this thing where you drop a chop on the ground to honour your dead loved ones, and then we'll just rip in. Yeah, man, sounds good.

54:38Keyzie:Is your wife going to do some cakes for dessert? Jase my wife hasn't cooked a cake since 2022 when you dissed her cakes live on air

54:48Jase:and the world's a better place for it The Hauraki Big Show with Jase, Mike and Keezy Tune in weekdays at 4 on Radio Hauraki

55:04Keyzie:Well there you go you mad bastards that's a big show done and dusted this Thursday night Make sure you tune in to tomorrow's show, by the way, the Friday throbber. Hey, Keezy, what's the podcast outro clip today, mate? Today's podcast outro clip was about me being a guest speaker for former students in a school that I used to go to. It comes out at 7.30 tonight, so check it out then. He did a bit of filth, which was sort of, you know, suggested rather than blatantly spoken. And then one of the boys asked him at some stage, Sir, what did you mean by blah, blah, blah? and everyone sort of giggled.

55:39Keyzie:And Murray Deeker walked off the stage and walked down to this kid and just whispered in his ear and then walked back up on stage again. Nice. And the kid was just sitting there going. I can't remember who it was, but yeah.

55:53Jase:It was pretty good. There you go. It was a fun yarn from Jase there about Murray Deeker guest speaking at his school. Is he older than you? Mogi. No, I'm serious. How old is Murray Deeker? 84. Oh, he would be like 80-something? Yeah, yeah, yeah.

56:09Keyzie:Moggy, you stallion. You don't get a body like that drinking coffee and smoking durries. You're off to the gym, aren't you, you stallion?

56:16Jase:I wanted to go to the gym, but actually I've just gotten to. I'm just going to walk home. I'm too hungry. I'm too hungry to go to the gym. Same. So I'm just going to get my ass home. Stat. You're not hungry for gains? I am, Keezy, but not as hungry as I am for dumplings. Yeah, nice call.

56:33Keyzie:Keezy, what are you up to, man? I'm going to go home, have leftover butter chicken. My wife's out with a mate. night for drinks.

56:39Jase:How'd you go with that butter chicken? Because you were saying when you came in that your missus caught you last night. She came out into the kitchen and you were eating it cold out of the fridge with just the light from the fridge. Lighting me up. And also because I sleep naked and I sort of my posture was really bad and I slumped over this bowl in front of the fridge and I just had it all around my mouth. And butter sauce in your pubes. I had butter sauce in my pubes. hey Jase what are you doing tonight man

57:07Keyzie:I'm going to walk home and you know what I'm going to get you've inspired me Mogi I'm going to get some spicy dumplings nice mate yeah how many 15 yeah good on you yeah that's a lot and I'll eat three of them and then I'll finish them off across the next week that is embarrassing hey check out the podcast check out the Instagram account till tomorrow see you later

57:37Thank you.