FULL SHOW: Going Full Boomer

10:20Jase:Sounds good when you put it like that. Yeah, yeah, yeah. So text Vinyl to 3483. It drops tomorrow morning. And what is it? Five hours long. It's, well, vinyl, aren't they only 48 minutes max or something? Oh, is that what it is? Yeah, yeah, something like that. Okay. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

10:34Keyzie:But it's good eating, as Moggy would say. Or good listening. Or good listening. The Hauraki Big Show with Jace, Mike and Kesey. Tune in weekdays at four on Radio Hauraki. David Bowie there on the Radio Hauraki Big Show this Thursday afternoon. Is it breaking news, fellas? No. Well, it's from yesterday. Okay. Close enough. This is Breaking News. It's just that I don't feel like it's breaking because it's from yesterday. Come on, Kesey, man. Well, it's still broke, though, didn't it? I haven't heard about it. We should have one that has broke news. Already broken news. Old news. Old news. Yeah, this is old news.

11:15Keyzie:Could you make us sing for that, please, pugs? Anyway, what is it?

11:21Jase:Old Frodo. Yes. You heard about him? Yes. He's in New Zealand because he's been doing Armageddon and a whole bunch of other things around the place. He's the actor Elijah Wood. Well, he's turned up down at Hobbiton there. You know about Hobbiton? Yes, I know about Hobbiton. No, it's not the real one out of The Lord of the Rings. They just pretend made it. Yes. Just a bunch of humans just made it for people to go and see it. But it's the one from the movie though, right? It's like that one, but it's not the real one. Is it not the real one? Well, it is the one out of the movie, but it's not the one out of history.

11:50Jase:It's not the one from like 300 years ago. Oh, right. When it happened. That's all gone. Yeah, yeah, yeah. But anyway, he's turned up down there, and the son of a bitch, he's crashed a wedding. Good Lord. People are trying to get married there, and here he comes. He turns up in a pair of rolled-up blue jeans and white shoes and a funny-looking hoodie and comes along and ruins their wedding. What do you think about that? I don't think he ruined it, right, because they were getting married at Hobbiton dressed in sort of Hobbit stuff. Yeah. So they're big Hobbit Lord of the Rings fans. Kind of losers.

12:21Keyzie:Yeah, they're nerds. No, they're not. They're freaks. No. Like geeks, like gamer boys. No, they're not. No, they're just people whose intros, they're very passionate. Like never draw the curtains, always in darkness, just do-do-do-do-do-do on the computer. You guys are so cool. That's right. Gamer boys. Yes. And so I think Frodo, from the movie setting up, is pretty cool. Don't you? Well, not if he wasn't invited. I'd be really pissed off. Just another mouth to feed. It's not cheap having a wedding, Gizzy, as you know. Why, totally. And he probably sunk heaps of mead as well. You know what I mean?

12:58Jase:Do they drink mead in Hobbiton? Oh, they're massive mead freaks. Are they? Oh, they love mead. Responsibly. Oh, yeah.

13:03Keyzie:I've got to be honest with you, I would have turfed his ass out. You would have. Yeah, totally.

13:07Jase:Who would you rather have had turn up at your wedding? Who would be your favourite? Oh, that's good. Like Celebs. Yeah. David Bowie. How did that pop into your head? Because we just came out of a David Bowie song.

13:22Keyzie:No, no, it's just, you know, he'd be a great guest.

13:25Jase:Right, what would he do? You'd just have a chat to him all night and ignore your missus. Yeah, probably.

13:31Keyzie:Barry Humphreys? Oh, yes, yes. He'd be a good chat. Famous UK comedian? No, Australian. Australian comedian, sorry. Yeah, yeah, yeah, he'd be good.

13:40Jase:John Clarke? Oh, yeah. Keezy, you were saying Sydney Sweeney? Yeah, well, certainly. I mean, if she, you know, if she was in the area. And Margot Robbie. Yeah, because then there'd be three beautiful women at my wedding.

13:57Keyzie:And didn't you say, Mogi, Emily Blunt? Who? Emily Blunt. Never heard of her. Didn't you say, what's the name of that woman from the Zorro movies? Oh, Catherine Zeta-Jones. Zelma Hayek.

14:09Jase:Zelma. Zelma. Didn't you say... Zelma from Zelma and Louise.

14:18The only celebs I wouldn't have at my wedding, though, Probably you two.

14:21Jase:Oh, no, that doesn't sound right. Sorry about that again. We barely knew each other, guys. Yeah, no, it's fair enough. Hey, it's water under the bridge as far as I'm concerned. Yeah, totally. Cool, cool. Oh, she-ha. Oh, she-ha. Good stuff. The Hauraki Big Show, weekdays from four on Radio Hauraki.

14:41Keyzie:Yes, indeed. ACDC there on the Radio Hauraki Big Show this Thursday afternoon. The time of 4.52. Let's talk TV. What's on the telly with Mike Minogue?

14:57Jase:Yes. Guys, do you have to do that? Yes. Sorry. Yes, yes. Look, you and I have been banging on all week, Jay, so Keezy said before the show and our pre-show meeting, can he please have a turn today? So I'd like to hand the floor over to you, man. No, I didn't. Away you go then. You were pleasing on about it all, buddy, Jay. Get on with it. But now there's all these expectations on what I want. Well, let's do it, man. If this is Grand Designs, it's human. Yeah, same. No, no, no. You know what it is? Well, some wacky Australian comedy. It's a show that has affected me so much so that I had a nightmare two nights ago.

15:35Oh, The Undateables? No, no, no, no, no. I haven't watched that yet. Need to. It is Traitors, UK Celebrity.

15:45Jase:Oh, you've talked about that a few times. Yeah, you had a couple of times. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I've done it tedious the first time. No, okay. Because it had that little nerd fella on there. Alan Carr. Yeah, and he didn't like it because he was the killer. He didn't like it. He was nervous. But next thing you knew. He was drunk on power. Drunk on power, yeah. He still is. Yeah, okay. But what it is now, though, is because you've got, and the key thing with this show, if it wasn't celebrities who I hold in such high regard, you're Stephen Fry's, you know, you're Jonathan Ross's, people like that. genuine top level UK celebrities and comedians.

16:19If it wasn't them, I wouldn't like it. But it is them. And they have to sit around a table and they have to accuse each other of being a traitor and everyone genuinely gets real fired up and quite upset with one another. And then they all have to vote out someone and go, ah, we think it's this person who's the traitor who's been murdering people. They then stand at the front and say, I tried to tell you I'm actually a faithful. And then everyone's just like gutted. so gutted and it's really really really good on three now and there's every Thursday and Friday there are new episodes but I don't know what you guys are doing here because I sit here every day and listen to you say oh I watch this show from the 70s and list off a whole lot of actors I've never heard of and I don't go cool cool how many buzzies 4.2 buzzies out of 5 for a reality show

17:10Jase:it is tricky because we have heard about it already and I feel bad because I've been watching another show what's that one called there? Seinfeld. No, yeah. Slow Horses. No, the other one. Oh, I don't know. The one with Jason Bateman in it. The rabbit, black rabbit. Black rabbit, yes. And it's just, I don't want to keep on talking about the episodes because it's all ups and downs, isn't it? Yes. But I'll tell you at the end and we'll find out if it sucks or not. Have they called out old mate Keezy? Have they called out Alan Carr yet? No, but they're on his tail. They're on his tail. And it's like, people are actually getting aggressive about it.

17:44Okay. Joe Marler, former front row England prop, he is genuinely pissed off.

17:48Jase:He's an aggressive man. It's great. You kind of need to be to be a forward. We don't actually have time for you to go. Sorry, James. No, I'm just joking. Go ahead.

17:54Keyzie:I watched The Perfect Neighbour on Netflix. A seemingly minor neighbourhood dispute in Florida escalates into deadly violence. Police body cam footage and investigative interviews expose the consequences of Florida's stand-your-ground laws. and it's basically, it's true, it's all true and it's a documentary, it's horrific a very racist woman is in this neighbourhood I won't go into the details but let's say things end very, very badly and if you like that kind of thing it's a horror show it's a horror show Did you love it? I did like it I'll give it 3.8 buzzies Right. Why is that? Did you find something in common with one of the main characters?

18:44Keyzie:Not particularly, but it was fascinating, this woman's machinations in terms of her manipulating situations, but it's all been caught on police cam. Right. So she actually, in the end, kind of shot herself in the foot. Right, okay. It's actually very fascinating to watch. Jase, I'm really pleased at how passionate you are about that show. Thank you for sharing. Thank you, man. See, that's how this could go, fellas. How many buzzies out of five? I told you, 3.8. Are you listening, man? I wasn't listening.

19:14The Hauraki Big Show with Jace, Mike and Keezy. Tune in weekdays at four on Radio Hauraki.

19:20Keyzie:Welcome back, you massive backbones. Hope you're getting through your Thursday afternoon. You're listening to The Big Show, brought to you by Reburger. Beef, chicken, vegan and vegetarian options also. Reburger are redefining the norm. All due respect, you got no f***ing idea what it's like to... Order a Reburger. Every decision you make affects every facet of every other free burger order. It's too much to deal with almost. And in the end, you're full of crab-worthy street food that's young.

19:54What's that from, fellas?

19:57Keyzie:Sopranos. You win the voucher. How good. Do I get to win a voucher? I'd love a voucher. Yep. Beautiful. Just email Pugsun. Okay, I'll do that. He'll take care of it. On Meat Patty Nip 69? Yeah. That's it. Yeah, okay, good stuff. Hey, remember, everyone that does text in during the show or calls us on 0800 Hauraki automatically goes in the draw to win a$50 re-burger voucher. And the text number is 3483. Coming up on the show here, fellas, I see, Jase, you want to have sort of a boomer-style chat about how you hate Halloween. Is that right? Yeah, pretty much. I want to get your guys' view on it too, how you feel about it.

20:39Keyzie:Don't like this American filth sort of seeping into the system. It's not good. But in the meantime, what is good is the killers. The Hodaki Big Show, weekdays from 4 on Radio Hodaki. Incubus there on the Radio Hodaki Big Show this Thursday afternoon. The time, 11 minutes past 5 o 'clock. Now, I don't know if you're aware of this, fellas. Smoggy, you probably will be because you've got a little one. It's Halloween tomorrow. And I just wanted to get your sort of vibe on the whole Halloween thing. Weird things happening in my family where my youngest daughter, who's no longer young, well, I mean, she's still young, but she's not a kid anymore.

21:19Keyzie:She seems more into Halloween now than when she was a kid. Right. Which doesn't make any sense to me. Now, my personal view on Halloween, I hate it. Yeah. pesky little kids coming down into my private property and just wanting stuff. Isn't it only if you've got a decoration up, though, to say, hey, come down? They come down regardless, Keezy, because the little buggers, they just want free sweets. It goes against everything that I stand for. Generosity stands against that kindness community. We tell our kids all the time, you know, don't accept things off strangers, and here we are sending them out to the whole bloody neighbourhood with strangers.

22:01Yeah, but their parents are usually nearby as well. Not always. But mostly.

22:04Keyzie:You know, I tell you what, out west you get marauding herds of kids. Yeah, sure. You know what I mean? Suddenly there's like 15 bloody kids wanting stuff and it's like, get off the property! I mean, how do you feel about it, Maggie? And I'm not a big fan of American sort of traditions. It's not our tradition, it's their traditions. Keep it over there. Just quickly, it's not an American tradition. It's actually a Celtic tradition from thousands of years ago.

22:30Jase:Yeah, but it's very, very old, and it got taken out over on the boats by the settlers, the pilgrims over to the States, and then it continued, and it is very much an American tradition. And I too, I hate it. I hate it, but the reason is not because, like you, I hate children. And generosity and giving back. And I don't want them to have any kind of joy whatsoever. I don't want to share my lollies. For me, it's yet another marketing exercise to separate parents from cash and to feed kids up on shit. And that's the problem that I've got with it. Fair enough. And so my kid last year came, five years old, came home with about eight kilos of lollies.

23:09Jase:And it's like, okay, well, now that's all going in the bin, bar three of them. But most parents would just feed it to their kids. It's shocking, bastards.

23:17Keyzie:Well, I don't believe that it went in the bin because I know what you like with lollies. I did eat most of them. And I can imagine mogi's stuff in its face. You know what I'm saying? That's true. That's the good way out of it is because I have seen you fisting lollies into your face. That's the way to get around it. I find bring home lollies, but old Mogey's going to eat a lot of them.

23:34Jase:Yeah, but it is very, very difficult. And, of course, I get the pressure on it from school, so all the kids at school are doing it. Yes. And then as a parent, I feel the pressure because I don't want her to get smacked over at school or to be an outcast or a loser at school because she's not doing it because her parents are weird. Do you know what I mean? Yes, yes. So you end up just getting pressured into allowing it, even though it goes against your own principles. Yeah. My principle has been I can't be bothered walking around the neighbourhood. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I mean, look, my take on this, guys, and in traditional radio, there's always meant to be one person who has the opposite view.

24:07And my view is literally last night my wife and I were going for a walk around after dinner just to help with digestion around the neighbourhood. And to, you know, fix up your prostate. Yeah, cool. And we were like, oh, gosh, it's going to be Halloween tomorrow night. We should go for a walk and see all the kids in their costumes. It would be fun, see all the houses. but we both were like dreading the day when we have to do it. Oh, right. But I think seeing, you know, for example, in your case, Mogi, Mogi Minogi Jr., your daughter, dressed up in a fun costume collecting, I think that would be really rewarding.

24:36Keyzie:You were saying you were traumatised, Keezy, because when you were a young fella, you went on a little Halloween thing and you got a really sore tummy and you were home from school for four days after that. Yeah, because I didn't know you had to unwrap all the sweets. That's a true story. Hey, speaking of, actually, 3483, what do you think about Halloween New Zealand? Yeah, I'd like to know. Also, 0800 Hauraki as well, $50 Reburger vouchers up for grabs if you get involved. Smashing pumpkins, that's what you want to do, eh, Jase? On Halloween. Bloody hope so, dude. Yeah. The Hauraki Big Show, weekdays from four on Radio Hauraki.

25:12Keyzie:The Cure there on the Radio Hauraki Big Show this, what is it, Thursday afternoon? The time, 22 minutes past five. A lot of texts coming in, Jase, people agreeing with you on your sort of boomer style attitude towards Halloween. Yeah. We might get into a few more of those later on in the show. So keep the text coming. 3483. Get yourself in the draw for a$50 Reburger voucher.

25:31Jase:Fellas, I've been effing in Jeffing lately at my computer there, my laptop. Yes. You guys know about laptops? I've heard of them. They're like a home computer. Wow. Like a desktop computer, but you can have them in your lap. Oh, wow. You put them on your lap. You can. You don't have to. But they're a portable style computer. Anyway, I use them a bit for the line of work that I'm in, Keezy. You probably haven't got one. But what I get a little bit frustrated with is I'll be typing away there, you know, probably about 80, 90 letters a minute. And I'll look up after, because I only look at my fingers while I'm typing.

26:08Jase:Yes. Because I've had one for a while now. And when I look up, everything that I've written is in capital letters. because at some point I've slipped and I've hit the caps lock button. But when you're typing, your hand hides that button so you can't see that there's a light on it. Mine's got a light on it because I've got a Mac.

26:26Keyzie:Flash.

26:27Jase:So I'm just pounding away there. And then you look up and then you have to delete all of it and start again. You know that there's a way to not have to delete all of it? Not in your Mac mail, not in certain things. So some things you can but other things you can't. Right, okay. The other thing that I slip and push is search, like Spotlight. It has a Spotlight function. What? So I'll be typing away, and I'll slip it, and I'll slip it. If you asked me how to bring this shortcut up on my keyboard, I couldn't tell you. I wouldn't have a clue. But I somehow slip, and I'll look up, and everything that I've been typing, I'm now typing into the in-computer search thing.

27:05Jase:It's called Spotlight. It's all up there. Right. So I can then copy and paste that and bring it down into my email, and it's probably 10 times the size of the font. Then I have to reformat the whole thing because it's the wrong format. It's the wrong size font, and it's the wrong. So I've turned it all off. I've found out that you can go through, so I've turned off my Caps Lock button because how often do you push Caps Lock and start typing? Only when I'm on your computer. Because it's a tricky bar, isn't it? And I never use the shortcut for the spotlight thing anyway. Question, why is your keyboard so slippery?

27:44Because you're always slipping. No, I'm not slipping. I'm just... Just nudging.

27:49Jase:I'm fat-fingered or I'm not a good typist or whatever it is. Right, okay. You see what I'm saying? Yeah, yeah, yeah.

27:55Keyzie:Well, I mean, you guys are way too flash for me. I can't even imagine old Hoody Jay trying to operate a laptop. But, of course, I recently got given an old-style typewriter. And I'm banging away there, Moggy. Yeah. And then afterwards. Are you pounding away? I'm pounding away there because she's – and it's lovely weight on the keyboard too. I love it. And I'm pounding away there for a good 10 minutes or so. And then I look up and I see little mistakes that I've made. Now, you guys might not know this, but with the old school typewriters, you can't just go back and delete. You know what I mean?

28:30Keyzie:Can you not? It's like, oh, for God's sake. So then I have to, because I don't like any mistakes in my writing, and so I have to rip the whole thing out again and do it all again. You know what I'm saying? Yeah, yeah. What are you usually typing? Poetry. Right, okay. Yeah. Yeah, okay. You know, or it skipped a line or it's, you know, the spacing's gone weird. It does my head in. So the thing is, I remember getting taught this in high school, though, was to learn how to type while not looking at the keyboard. And it took ages to learn it, and I still think I'm a hybrid of both.

29:00Jase:Yeah, I am, and I am as well. so that's been my thing to get better at this year. My work on for this year is to try and remember just to look at the screen no matter what and very rarely look down. But it is my default to still continue to do that. So I still slip up, Keezy. Yeah, right. You know, it's like Jase with the darts. He can't be perfect. Do you know what I mean?

29:19Keyzie:He's pretty perfect. Well, I'm like a two-finger guy. I've heard. The Hauraki Big Show. Weekdays from four on Radio Hauraki. Radiohead there on Radio Hauraki. Big show this Thursday evening. Now, our mates at Diamonds on Richmond, boy, have they given us a deal, fellas. An$8 ,000 engagement ring, which I might make the point we're giving away tomorrow. So if you're, you know, mucking around, you know, thinking about proposing to that very special person in your life, you've got to get in there fast, New Zealand. You do have to get in there fast. We are giving it away tomorrow. So right now, head to hodaki.co.nz, register yourself there, tell us a little about your relationship and just like that you are in the draw.

30:03Now, we've got a person on the line right now, fellas, who did exactly that. Their name is Anonymous. Right, okay. For obvious reasons. But Anonymous, are you there?

30:12Jase:Hiya. G'day, Anonymous. Do you want to just tell us a little bit about your situation and why you entered the competition? Oh, yeah. You know, it's a bloody good prize. For starters, just your typical, you know, Tinder success story. So you guys have been together for five-plus years and you just sort of, you think it's time for things to move along. Yeah, I reckon, you know. Is he or she just bloody useless? What's the guts? Yeah, he sure is. A lot of excuses.

30:40Keyzie:All that jazz. Yeah, it's a tricky one. I always thought Tinder was, you know, just for shagging. Oh, you know, sometimes you've got to, yeah, just knuckle down. Yeah, yeah, yeah. He's obviously a keeper anonymous. Yeah, I think so, you know. He's knocked me out now, so. Oh, backbone.

30:58Jase:Backbone. Oh, well, if it doesn't work out, at least you've got a sick ring from Diamonds on Richmond. We hope so. Anonymous, before we let you go, what are your sort of favourite things about this particular anonymous bloke? Oh, just, you know, backbone.

31:15Keyzie:OK, that's fair enough. Beautiful. That's bloody beautiful. Anonymous, all the best with that. I hope he gets into gear. You never know. You might get that$8 ,000 engagement ring.

31:26Jase:Yep, just to get him down on the knee. Bloody ripper. All right, Anonymous, we'll hand you over to Pugsan there. Once again, we are giving away that ring on tomorrow's show. So you've got 24 hours left to get yourself in the draw. Head to hodaki.co.nz. Tell us about your relationship. And a big shout-out to Diamonds on Richmond, who make buying an engagement ring really easy. Bloody hell.

31:45Keyzie:Bloody hell, man. How good, man? What? Giving away an$8 ,000 ring, man. Oh, yeah, yeah. Have you not heard about that, Kees?

31:53Jase:Yeah, yeah, yeah. Diamonds on Richmond, man.

31:55Keyzie:Oh, wow, really? They're giving away an engagement ring and it's worth$8 ,000. It's probably got diamonds in it. The Hauraki Big Show with Jace, Mike and Keezy. Tune in weekdays at four on Radio Hauraki. Welcome back, you massive backbones. You are listening to The Big Show, brought to you by Reeburger. Craveworthy street food, freshly made with Reeburger. Yum. Yeah, man. Yeah. I'm actually seriously thinking of getting... Is there a Reeburger in Ponsonby, Mogi? There's one in Grey Lynn. Grey Lynn, yes, sweet. I'm hanging out in that hood tonight, so I might get myself a bit of Reeburger action.

32:35Keyzie:You're hanging out in the hood. Yeah, man. Be careful. I'm cat-sitting. Cat-sitting? Yeah, man. We got hustled. My wife's father said, could you look after our cat? We've got to go away for a little while, thinking it was one, we were thinking it was one night. Turns out it's five nights, and this cat has massive medical issues, has to be very specifically fed at certain times of the day. What? I am not lying to you. Yeah. They left three pages of instructions for looking after the cat.

33:12Jase:Step one, two to the dome. Yeah. Yeah.

33:16Keyzie:And it's some sort of Persian-y kind of, you know, fancy cat. What, like the rug? Kind of like the rug. And if it doesn't watch itself, it could turn into one. Yeah. Because when I've looked after my parents' cat in the past, it's literally, can you just stop on the way home from work and feed it? Exactly. It was like I was saying yesterday, my whole thing with cats, I'll feed you and then you're on your own. But this one needs medical attention, needs its litter changed, needs to be fed at specific times of the day. It's like, and it did a spew last night. Did it? Yes, it did. It's a little spew.

33:52Right, and so is there anything you're supposed to do with the spew? Do you have to, like, pack it? I'm just leaving it. Yeah.

33:56Jase:You haven't had much luck with pets, are you? Your dog, God bless her. Yes. Remember that one? You used to do steamers on your bed. And then you babysat that dog that spewed in your conservatory. And the duck flew into your house and shat everywhere. Oh, she's still there.

34:08Keyzie:Yeah, yeah. Oh, that's actually infuriating, Jase. It is rather infuriating, but it's a bloody nice joint, so we can pretend like we're rich bastards. The Hauraki Big Show with Jase, Mike and Kesey. Tune in weekdays at four on Radio Hauraki. In excess there on the Radio Hauraki Big Show. Now, we were talking earlier in the show about Halloween, of course. It's going to be Halloween tomorrow, and I hate it. You know, and you were mentioning the fact, Moggy, that it's very commercialised. It's just another way of parting adults with their money. We're feeding our kids all this crap. I just hate the constant invasion of my privacy.

34:48Keyzie:My pesky, annoying, marauding kids. Yeah. And then you go, okay, I want a trick. I want a trick, and they won't even do it. There are slow tricks. It's like, oh, no, we just want tricks. What is a trick?

35:01Jase:Well, one of the tricks might be that you would light a steamer on fire and put it on the doorstep. Wait, wait. So they come up and they say trick or treat. And you say bugger off. And they go, okay, well, it's going to be a trick. And then they throw a brick through your window or something like that. Possibly something smarter than that, but there's an example. Yeah, or they slash your tyres. Wow. You know, or a Molotov cocktail. Wow. Goes through the house. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And these are all tricks. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Or they kidnap your dog. You know, there's so many fun tricks that you can play.

35:34Jase:Or you just give them a lolly. Or you can give them a lolly. I'm not, that's, you know, and somebody here on the text machine, 3483, we had 8 billion texts come through over the subject. People are fuming about it. It's absolutely right. It's just all this landfill as well. So now there's this whole new holiday where they buy all of this shit to decorate your house, and then it goes in the bin a day later. Yes. What are we doing?

35:56Keyzie:We're learning nothing. You're fake cobwebs. Exactly. and tapes and exactly your fake zombie

36:02Jase:your pumpkins for god's sake well a pumpkin's okay no a fake one because who can be bothering Halloween one out not me see that's cool if we did the whole pumpkin decorating thing I think that's cool I like the wholesome side of it I like all that sort of thing I think that's cool imagine if you did hollow one out and make a jack-o-lantern and put a candle in its head and light it and go ooooh see that's cool that's cool your kid would love that yeah and then you could plant pumpkins every year and try to grow the next pumpkin. I'm loving it. I love that too. Maybe that's how I celebrate it. What are the people saying?

36:36Very much on your side, Jase, and bogeys too. Everyone's fuming. I live rurally. No kids are walking a kilometre down my driveway. See, that's the thing. It's very much a big city. City folk. And also kind of like if you live in suburbs, probably well-to-do suburbs as well, is where you're going to get the most action, I'd say. Yes. You know? Whereas if you live in the country, it's you know 200, 300 metres between letterboxes it's not going to happen maybe move to the country

37:03Jase:yeah this one here I'm not into Halloween but my 10 year old daughter is well that makes sense because you're an adult but I'm taking her and some mates trickle treating tomorrow night she's not a sweets fiend she just likes the dress up yeah the dress up part is cute like what did Mogi Minogi dress up as well I actually did dress up when I was a kid my brother and I and we went next door to Mrs McGill's house Now, Mrs. McGill was about 90. Right. We knocked on her door. Now, my mother had a big, long black wig for some reason. At the time, he was very popular. I went as Bob Marley. Really? You went as Bob Marley?

37:40Jase:Oh, Bob Mogey. 100%. Yeah, Mum. I can't remember what my brother went as, but it might have been also, you know, probably on the spectrum somewhere there and a little bit risque. And we knocked on the door and we said, trick or treat, Mrs. McGill, and she's like, what is it? And then we had to explain the history of trick-or-treating, and she told us to piss off and come back when we could explain what it was. Yeah, right. So we burnt down her house. Yeah, one love. The Hauraki Big Show with Jace, Mike, and Keezy. Tune in weekdays at four on Radio Hauraki.

38:16Keyzie:Faith No More there on the Radio Hauraki Big Show this Thursday evening. Now, if you're a cricket fan, which I think, you know, me and Mogi are. Scotty! He's on his way! Two for 22! You need to listen to this because this is an exciting development. I think I'm a cricket fan. Are you? Well, like I like cricket. I'm not a fan. Like I'm not a, oh, bloody, what cricket's on today? You're not like a rabid fan. Yeah, I'm not a rabid fan.

38:46Jase:You're not even like a part-timer. You don't even like it. Yeah. I actually hate cricket. Yes. But I tell you what cricket I do love. That's the Black Clash. The doosh. It's a full name, of course, Hot Spring Spa T20 Black Clash in association with Wolf Brook. It's quite a mouthful, that, isn't it? Yeah. I reckon you could handle it, though. You could handle it, for sure.

39:07Keyzie:Yeah, I've had to handle it in front of, you know, two million viewers.

39:15Keyzie:Two million. And did you take it all good? I took it good. Yeah, I handled it, man. And I nailed it. Are you doing it again this year? Yes, I am. Well, no, because it's next year. Sorry, next year? Are you going back for more? Apparently so. You love it. Yeah. We're talking the commentary, of course. Yeah, the commentary. Well, I mean, I don't love it, but the people love me. What can I do? Oh, man, my hands are tied here. The Black Clash is returning to Bay Oval, Tauranga, January 17th. Yeah. And there's the ACC Export Ultra Zone, which is the party zone. It's the closest thing to the sevens back in the day.

39:46It is the zone you want to be in if you want to responsibly have a few brews. In front of that, in the most epic seats, right on the boundary, will be the Hauraki zone where we will be. One of the old mogi over there who, to be honest, doesn't even like cricket. I hate it. Whereas I'm a rabid fan. So if you're keen to sit with us, cheers to New Zealand's Grabberseat. We can fly from anywhere in the country to be with us. Afterwards, we'll put you up for the night at the Trinity Wharf Hotel, which is where we're all staying.

40:13Keyzie:It's pretty beautiful. I'll probably be in somewhere different. You will? Yeah, yeah. So-so. They like to look after the commentators. The motor-in. You guys will be, yeah. The Trinity Wharf is probably the best hotel in Tauranga. It's pretty good. It's right on the water there. Actually, if I do stay there, I'm going to bring my fishing rod because you can fish right off the front. Oh, yeah. Bet you don't. Probably not. I'll take my fishing rod to the hotel. If you're keen, though, go to hodaki.co.nz and enter the draw there, and hopefully we'll see you at next year's Black Clash. Says Mr. Fly with my golf clubs.

40:49What? How else am I supposed to take them to the bloody overs? Oh, okay. Here's Faith in them. No, it's Green Day. Damn it. The Hauraki Big Show. Weekdays from four on Radio Hauraki.

40:59Keyzie:Iggy Pop there on the radio. Hauraki Big Show this Thursday evening. Fellas, let's give out some much needed advice. Meet Paddy Nips 69 Guys at gmail.com Get in touch With the fellas If you're not going to like do it properly I was doing it properly

41:21Jase:We go meet Paddy Nips And then you chuck guys in the middle of it And then you say at gmail.com Get in touch with the fellas It's a shambles You're confusing the email address I just think if we're not going to sing it properly Just let Pugs sing it you know Well we sing it bloody beautiful You guys do Yeah. Oh, okay. Can you get on with it? 100 % anonymous, get in touch. We're trying to solve problems here, Keezy, man. A problem has come in. I'm going to go to the front, holly J. Jeez. Well, that's a problem we're never going to solve, to be fair. No matter how many Reburger vouchers we give out.

41:53Here's a question coming through from anonymous. G'day, feelers. You massive backbones. I wanted to ask for advice regarding the rat problem at my school. So let me start from the start. But basically, heaps of students, including me, have noticed that a school's canteen has an infestation of very large rats that hang around the outdoor seating area.

42:14Jase:There's a rat in me kitchen. What am I going to do? Thankfully, I have a plan and my parents and friends think it's good, but I wanted to ask you fellas about it. I have acquired a big rat trap and I'm planning to plant it into one of the rats' houses. but I would also like to know if there's anything else I should do and any other advice you could give me. Cheers. This is from a student, concerned student.

42:37Keyzie:I don't know if you guys know this. I used to be a ratter. Yeah. You know, go out to your farms and stuff like that where they had infestations. You just shoot the bastards. Is that how you do it? Yes. Don't you usually send in like a schnauzer or something? No, you're thinking of weasels and that's for rabbits. Wait, sorry, weasels and that's for rabbits. Yeah, weasels. Wait, sorry. Oh, you send weasels in to get rabbits. Yes, to get rabbits. But no, that's what Jack Russell's and Schnauzer's and stuff were bred for. Well, primarily the Schnauzer and the Jack Russell were for rabbits. Yeah. Okay, cool.

43:10But they can kill rats. Oh, they can do it all. Yes. Yeah, right, okay.

43:14Jase:So what else would you do? Well, the thing with a rat is, and you'll know this, Jase, having been a ratter of some note back in the day there, rats are notorious for their greed. Correct. They can't help themselves. All they want is more, more, more. So what I've found to be very effective is you go and knock on. Now, this gentleman, he found the rat's house, and he's going to put a trap in it. Now, that's one thing you can do, but with that, you're only going to get one rat. Yeah. I go there, and I knock on the door. Do they have doors? Oh, yeah. And you put a letter underneath the door, and you say, congratulations, you've just won this week's big Wednesday competition.

43:55Jase:Oh, wow. A million dollars. That's what I was doing. Big Wednesday existed back there, and you get a million bucks, a speedboat, a Lamborghini, a Ferrari, and a trip around the world for five people. Wow, why don't you say, and a piece of cheese or something? Yeah, I mean, that sort of stuff in there as well, Kesey. So you put that in there, and you say, in order to collect the prize, you're all going to have to go down to the Lotteries Commission in Wellington. All of the rats. All the rats are going to have to go. Right, okay. So they're like, holy hell. and you've got to get there by Monday morning or, you know.

44:27Yeah.

44:28Jase:So then they all jump on a train, they bugger off, and they're off down there, and then when they're all gone out the door, you just close the door. Fantastic. Right, but then obviously in Wellington, isn't it like overrun with rats? Yeah, it is, but it's already a gone burger. Yeah, right. Out of sight, out of mind, Keezy. Totally. Can you write that down, man? Out of sight, out of mind. And how do you spell mind? You're not even writing, Keezy. The Hauraki Big Show with Jase, Mike and Keezy. Tune in weekdays at four on Radio Hauraki.

45:07Keyzie:Well, there you go, you mad bastards. That's the Big Show done and dusted this Thursday night. What's our outro clip today, Keezy? Oh, that's right. On the Big Show outro podcast today, we discussed complaints in New Zealand broadcasting and how Jerry Wells is near the top of the list. He's a champ. most complaints, yeah. Here's a wee clip. We would have had lots of complaints, but none of them are powerful. We just never. When you... Oh, yes. Very early doors. Yeah, that's right. And then that's why Pet Chat kind of... We now have meat patty nips anyway, so if a pet question comes through, we're still going to have Pet Chat.

45:44I love how we still couldn't play what you guys see.

45:47Keyzie:It's really interesting, isn't it, that Jerry has so many complaints because he's such a nice young fellow, isn't he? He really is, isn't he? He's a very charming son of a bitch. He's a very charming sort of gentle creature. He's easily led. Yeah, true. True. But, I mean, there's being easily led, and then there's having the most complaints ever for various... He's a shocking bastard. He is a shocking bastard. Speaking of which, what are you doing tonight, Maggie?

46:09Jase:Soup to Sole. Oh, yes. Tonight, which I'm really looking forward to. Is that the Samoran version? That's right, yeah. I'm not sure what it entails, but I'm excited, 100%. Great stuff. I'll let you know tomorrow how it goes, okay, fellas? What's for dinner, Keezy? My wife's got like a work function. Now I have. Hey. My wife's got a work function tonight, so I'll be picking her up later on because payback, you know. Oh, nice, man. And what about 8.30? Yeah, she said I actually want an early night tonight, so I won't be very late. And I was like, okay, sweet. But I'm probably going to go get a giant pizza and eat that in front of the tally.

46:43What are you having, man?

46:44Keyzie:Good stuff, man. Good stuff. I can't wait. I'm excited. I'm having Chinese. Sorry? Chinese. Racism. alert. Racism alert. And then what are you having for dinner? Keezy. You've been disgraceful today, man. Sorry, I don't even get that. It doesn't even make sense. It doesn't make any sense. What's got into you? Hey, now New Zealand, make sure you check out the Instagram, make sure you check out the podcast, make sure you check out the show tomorrow because it's Friday and we'll be having a real big one. It's Rob, a Halloween theme. See you then.