FULL SHOW: Grunting Away

7:55Keyzie:Well, it's really sexy, isn't it? It is. When you've got your undies and they've got the sort of band across the top of your jeans there and it's something cool. I mean, I don't know what the brands are. Very fun. Calvin Klein, for example. And, you know, I've heard that women love that, that look in men, that undies above the jeans. I could be wrong.

8:16Mike Minogue:Yeah.

8:17Keyzie:I could be wrong.

8:18Mike Minogue:No, they do. They do. I have discovered that. You've got the ones that say like Monday at the top, eh, Jase? Yes. But today it's Friday. Oh, damn it. So I've decided I might change to the – they are called Y-fronts, aren't they? They are. Essentially the triangle shape standard men's undies. That's right. A lot of text coming in on 3483. I had the same problem. keep the same style but go to a mid-leg style. Sort of like cycle pants. They'd look cool on you, man. I think it's too long. Like, I understand that having a bit more material there will keep it down, but I think if I take those off, or if there's any chance of them sitting below my, like, shorts, then it's probably – No one will say anything.

8:59Mike Minogue:Yeah, okay. We wouldn't comment on it, Keezy. Someone here would recommend – The secret's safe with us. I'm not doing – it's not a secret. Having a baby. I'm not having a baby My wife's listening at the moment by the way Run commando Have you guys ever done that? Yeah I spent many many years running commando I had a thing in my head when I was in my early 20s That underwear was a scam It was run by a big jockey And you didn't need it So I went commando for many years And as you know Keezy Ended up with a downstairs That was sort of tougher than a farmer's elbow Yeah because it was rubbing against the denim there against the denim there.

9:38I can't feel a thing. Can't feel a thing. Yeah. So you wouldn't recommend it?

9:44Keyzie:Oh, it would be good for you. Well, especially if you're wearing a heavy jean. You know, it's just like, I don't want to be, I don't want a bull horse rubbing up against denim and zips.

9:54Mike Minogue:Well, it's not so much the bull horse I'm worried about. Yeah, yeah. Well, you know, you're... I don't know which way your face is, but... You dude. Yeah, yeah. What about this? I'm 32 years old, switched to Y-fronts about 10 years ago, never looked back, it's time to grow up, Kesey. Yeah, come on, Kesey, wake up, man. Are those adult undies, are they the triangle-shaped ones? Well, I think you try all of those other things, but there's a reason why the original is the original. It's because it does the job. And it does the job, right. Everything else is sort of, it's all bells and whistles, isn't it, Jase?

10:21Yeah, man.

10:23Mike Minogue:Ben here's got the wrong end of the stick. Don't be worried about your erectile dysfunction, Keezy. I'm sure loads of lads of your age have limp willies from poorly fitted undies. That's not what we're discussing here. No. My undies are the correct size, and trust me, it's all good. down there. That's the baby, Chad. I'm not having a baby. The Hauraki Big Show, weekdays from four on Radio Hauraki.

10:45Keyzie:Yes, indeed, Big there on the Radio Hauraki Big Show this Friday afternoon. The time is 4.36, and I believe we played the Reburg Year sting in that song, Keezy.

10:56Mike Minogue:Who wants Reburg Year? We certainly did, Jase. It sounds like this. Yeah. And if you hear it during a song, you call us on 800-HAURAKI, and then you can get yourself a$50 Reburger voucher. That's what Kane did. Shall we talk to Kane?

11:10Keyzie:Yeah, let's do that. G'day, Kane, you mad bastard. How's life?

11:14Mike Minogue:Hey, good, thanks, mate. Excellent.

11:16Keyzie:Good on you, mate. What do you do for a crust there, Kane? I'm a logistics manager.

11:22Mike Minogue:Wow! Holy heck, that's bad moon. Far out. Jeez. Damn, sucker. Do you enjoy your job, Kane? Oh, yeah, it has the stage. Yeah. That's his days.

11:37Keyzie:Backbone. Are you looking forward to your weekend, Cain? Well, I'm on it right now, but yes.

11:44Mike Minogue:Oh, yeah. Now you're talking. Now you're talking, Cain. Yeah, man. What's for dinner, Cain? Tonight, probably something keto. The wife is into that stuff. Oh, yeah. Keto. You are kidding me.

11:59Keyzie:Never heard of it. Oh. I have, actually. What is keto? It's all meaty and eggy and all that sort of stuff. if you don't have any, no fruits, no veggies, no carbs. Oh, you went on that and you got scurvy. No, I was on some of the gout and I got scurvy. I've never done keto. Ever had scurvy, Cain? No, but I've had plenty of gout. Oh, yeah, that's good.

12:21Mike Minogue:Yeah, yeah, yeah. Gout sucks, though. Hey, Cain, how often do you floss? When it hurts. Oh, yeah, cool. You've got bleeding gums in that. Oh, bleeding gums, Cain. Good stuff, mate. Oh, Keno Kane with his bleeding gums. Here he is. Hey, Kane, what colour are your undies, man? Oh, today? Yeah. Yeah, because of geeks. Oh, they're a bit stripy coloured. Stripy? Yeah, wow.

12:48Keyzie:Just on that, Kane, we're having a bit of undie chat today. What are you running with undie-wise? Briefs, boxes, or the sort of mid-range sort of, what do you call them?

12:58Mike Minogue:I don't know, jocks.

12:59Keyzie:Jocks?

13:00Mike Minogue:Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yep, just recently changed from boxers to the mid-range, and I'm loving them. Oh, yeah, what a backbone. Yes. Is it one of those things, Keto Kane, where you're like, why didn't I do this ages ago? Yeah. Yeah, nice. Oh, Keto Kane, he's the man. Hey, one last question, man. What's your deepest fear?

13:23Mike Minogue:I have to stick with heights, mate. Sorry. Heights? Yeah, so many people are afraid of heights. What's that about? Well, good news, Keto Cain. You've got yourself a$50 Reburg voucher, mate. Woo-hoo. Woo-hoo. Good on you, mate. You hold the line, Keto Cain, and old Pug-san will sort you out, all right? Have a good day. Awesome. You guys too, thanks. Good on you, brother. Thanks, mate. Old scurvy Cain. Is that what they call them? I thought it was Keto Cain with the bleeding gums. Oh, both. It depends. Yeah. Do you know old Keto Cain? No, no. You know, with the bleeding gums. Oh, yeah. And the scurvy.

13:57Yeah, yeah, yeah. Hey, tight. Hey, tight. Yeah, yeah.

14:00Mike Minogue:Oh, Stripey Undies Cache. Yeah, yeah, yeah. The Hauraki Big Show. Weekdays from four on Radio Hauraki.

14:07Keyzie:Oh, yes, indeed. Jane's Addiction there on the Radio Hauraki Big Show this Friday afternoon. The time is 4.47. It's Talk TV. What's on the telly with Mike Minogue?

14:23Yes. Fellas, I watched Dave Chappelle's latest stand-up special. They're on Netflix. It's called The Unstoppable. It's actually called something else, but you can't say that word. Well, he can, I can't, you can't, Kesey. Jase, you definitely can't say it.

14:41Mike Minogue:But is it the word that Jase always says anyway? Come on, man. Because I think I know the word. I'm taking a wild stab too. It's a bit of a return to form In my opinion A lot of his Probably three out of his last four Have been Not good at all Banging on about Sort of in Ricky Gervais style Just sort of punching down Yes You know It's just And look There's a place for punching down I think some of the best comedy is People say you can't punch down in comedy, Jase I think it's very funny When you punch down sometimes Real funny But sometimes it's not And so yeah It was a shame He sort of went off the rails For a few specials there but he's back and it was very, very good.

15:23Highly recommend. Give it a gaze. It's there on Netflix. What am I going to do? I'm going to go through each and every one of his bits, Keezy. All I can really say is it was good. What was it called again? Good bits. The Unstoppable...

15:38Mike Minogue:Blank.

15:40Keyzie:What a weird name for a show. The Unstoppable Blank.

15:44Mike Minogue:Totally, totally. What was it on? Netflix. Oh, okay. You have to search it. So offensive is the word that is blanked out that you won't find it on the homepage. Wow. Yes. How many buzzies out of five? 3.7. Okay. Yeah. It's hard for a comedy special, if you're not there in the audience, I have found, it's hard for a comedy special to be a four plus buzzies out of five. I've got a lot of them that I go fives. Fives. Even watching on television? Oh, 100%.

16:13Keyzie:Really? Yeah, absolutely. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Fellas, my wife was rehearsing her play last night, so I couldn't carry on with the series we're currently watching, which is called Sherwood, Very Good. But in that vein, I watched Robin Hood on TVNZ+. Which Robin Hood? The latest one with Sean Bean. The latest with Sean Bean, yes. Lydia Peckham, New Zealanders in it. Yes. Now, I quite like that genre. Fantasy? Yeah, kind of fantasy. Fantasy, medieval kind of clip-clop, clip-clop. This is another one where Jase just hates it. I don't know if we can keep doing this. And in terms of your Robin Hoods, because let's face it, there's been millions of Robin Hoods through the years.

16:59Keyzie:Look, I'll give it, it's one notch above your average. Oh, is it? Well, that's pretty good. Yeah, it's pretty good. That's great. It's certainly not hard to watch. Certainly some things are easy on the eye. It's fine. It's fine. It's fine, Keezy.

17:16Mike Minogue:Yeah.

17:16Keyzie:Like, non-offensive, but, you know, I've got a bit of dish-dush in there and stuff. A bit of nudity. A little bit of nudity. One particularly vigorous character on that front, but I won't get into the details. Let me guess, let me guess, Fryer Tuck. No, not Fryer Tuck. He's actually very good in it, the guy that plays Fryer Tuck. What about Little John? Little John, yeah, you know, standy. Keezy, they call him Little John because he's big. Because he's a big bastard.

17:42Mike Minogue:Oh, is he the one that's like, yeah? What? No, that's Lil. Oh, is that Lil Jon? That's Lil. Man, I get those two mixed up all the time.

17:51Keyzie:I'll give it a good, solid three buzies. Yep, that's great. Three buzies out of five.

17:57Mike Minogue:Good on you, man. Robin Hood on TVNZ+. Yes. Last night, and we're going to chat about this more after 5 o 'clock, I watched the Aussie Open semifinal between Svitolina and Sabalenka. And it was interesting because I believe Sabalenka is Russian and Svitolina is Ukrainian. and the people that are staying with us are from a tennis family and they were saying at the start of the game, there's like a young girl there who gets to have her photo with both players. She had to have a separate photo with both of them. They wouldn't be in the same photo. They couldn't be in the same photo together. Yeah.

18:28Mike Minogue:And then it was a real like, ooh, a lot of eyes on this one sort of thing. Yes. The Russian smoker.

18:32Keyzie:A lot more than just a tennis match. Yeah.

18:34Mike Minogue:It was, yeah.

18:36Keyzie:Svitolina, is it?

18:37Mike Minogue:Svitolina from the Ukraine. From the Ukraine.

18:39Keyzie:She won the Auckland tournament.

18:41Mike Minogue:Yes. And she's been in terrific form. She has been in terrific form, and she also recently had a baby. So she's like world number 12 at the moment. Married to Gail Monfee. Trust you to know, trust old Keezy to know latest in baby news from around the world. Guys, this Keezy is having a baby yarn that we're spinning at the moment. I love the yarns we spin. We have to stop this one. Because people are going to start believing.

19:05Keyzie:It was meant to be a surprise, Jase. No, it wasn't. Sorry, man, my bad. I'm just so excited about it. Here's the Arctic Monkeys.

19:13Mike Minogue:The Hauraki Big Show, weekdays from four on Radio Hauraki.

19:17Keyzie:Arctic Monkeys there on the Radio Hauraki Big Show this Friday afternoon. Of course, coming up after five o 'clock, the regular Friday throbber. Also, we've got a bit of tennis chat, a bit of controversy, fellas, at the Australian Open.

19:32Mike Minogue:Yeah, totally. Mogi, you put this in the old chat there, some breaking news. Yeah, it's a little bit of breaking news. I was glued to the television last night. You know how I love the Australian Open there, Jason. A couple of ladies were playing. Didn't catch their names. Was the two I just spoke about? Didn't catch their names at all. And there was a whole lot of grunting going on. You know what I'm saying? You know what I'm saying, Keezy? Yeah, they were playing tennis. Yeah, yeah. Oh, yeah. They were playing tennis. Yeah, yeah. And anyway, one of the players got Dr. Point. So we're going to be talking about that a little bit later on.

20:04Bloody outrageous. Outrageous, Keezy. Jase just farted, by the way. Oh, yeah, Jase ripped ass in the studio. It was disgusting. God, you guys are full of it.

20:16Mike Minogue:The Hauraki. Tune in. Weekdays at four on Radio Hauraki. It's the Hauraki Big Show's Friday throbber. Douche, douche. Jase, man, are you even part of the big show or what? I'm so sorry, fellas. Don't be sorry for, you know, never getting it right, man You never do it, you hate it You hate this part of this I love the douche douche But you always forget to do it

20:43Keyzie:I have, I don't know why It's just a mental block for me now, obviously It's been like six months Now listen, if you're just joining us by chance for the first time And you're asking yourself, what the hell's the Friday thrubber Each of us here in the studio chooses a song You give us a call on 0800 Hodaki and vote for the song that you want First of two wins

21:03Mike Minogue:Jay's holding in a burp there. That's right. Ram more chips. That's right. That is how it works. We keep a scoreboard, and at the end of the year, the person that wins gets a big prize. Big prize! So far, the scores are Mogi, one. Keezy, one. Hoity Jay, zero. Keezy doesn't do the scores at the start if he's getting his house handed to him. What do you mean? It's true. You normally do them at the end when you have to. Regardless, we normally do a theme, don't we fellas Or on occasion we do But if we haven't got a really good one We've decided we're just going to go It's just wild card Just generic Whatever you like I'll kick it off today if you like fellas Would you like that?

21:45Yeah sure

21:46Mike Minogue:Here's Moggy's one A little bit of stride man

22:02Mike Minogue:We got it locked down. I'm ready to rock, ready to roll. I am ready to go. Second scribe of the year. Second scribe of the year, yeah. I was looking at another one and I thought, nah. And then I went this one and I thought, yeah. Yeah. Jase.

22:17Keyzie:Bit of audio slave. No one fell asleep in the street and no one fell. Allow one that in pieces is bare with a mouth full of gold You didn't want to choose the chorus? That's a shitter. That's a great song.

22:40Mike Minogue:You can't say it's a shitter, Mike, because that influences the votes. Oh, that's right.

22:45Keyzie:Asterix.

22:46Mike Minogue:Yeah, 100%. Asterisk. I love the asterix comics. I've kind of gone down the same vein as Jase. Yeah. Although I've chosen a part of the song. I've chosen a part of the song, which is actually good, though. Yeah, right.

23:03You can't go wrong with the Chili's,

23:19Mike Minogue:man. Well, you can. Parallel Universe. I just stuck up for your song. No, no, that's asterisk for him as well. Now, you've got an asterisk. Yeah, sure. I didn't know that you couldn't. Since when could you not bag each other's songs? When did this happen? Forever. That has never been a rule. No, we made this rule. That has never. Okay, I need to hear the tape. I've never heard that you can't bag each other's songs. He's going to argue his way out of another asterisk. No, no, I'm just, all I'm saying is I've never heard of that rule before. Right. I have never heard that rule. I think part of the fun is bagging each other.

23:47Mike Minogue:No, totally. I don't even like the songs. I like bagging each other. The very first show, Eyes to the Front. Come on, fellas. The very first show of this year, we did Throbber, and I brought it up. I said, before the Throbber happened, you guys pretty much made fun of my song, and then no one wanted to vote for mine. Yeah, but you were always complaining about something, Keezy, and then last week you complained about it again, and you ended up winning. Didn't you?

24:13Keyzie:Fellas, hey, listen. Nah, I'm not doing it. You decide. 0800 Hodoki. Give us a call.

24:23Mike Minogue:Speaking of throbbers, tune. Weezer. The Hauraki Big Show. Weekdays from four on Radio Hauraki.

24:35Keyzie:It's the Hauraki Big Show's Friday throbber. Douche, douche. Yes! Mogi.

24:43Mike Minogue:Ah-ha! Yeah, Mogi didn't do it. Do you ever want to be here, man? Well, I just laughed because a text came through on 3483. Here's a throbber for your Friday fellas Ain't no second place by Jimmy Barnes That is a tune Get that in here 100 % And that was just making me laugh And then I missed my douche douche Damn it Oh well Never mind I'll tell you what

25:04Keyzie:The phone lines have gone batshit crazy fellas We've got people going So much competition for the throbber this week Yeah Can I just congratulate each of us We've brought it this week Yeah we have really brought it It is on fire. I was quite happy with mine until I heard it play out. And I was like, oh, could have gone for a better part of the song here. So it wasn't until you heard the song you chose. No, because I had it in my headphones when I was listening to it. And it sounds much louder, you know. I don't know what it was. It does, yes. I should have just moved along a few seconds. Still a great song.

25:39All-time great.

25:40Mike Minogue:This is Moggy's choice for the throbber, Scribe.

25:45Mike Minogue:Yeah, yeah. Yeah, Keezy. Yeah. Get it, boy. Yeah, you ready, Keezy? Here we go. We just not can stop now. Stands that F up. I'm ready to rock. I'm ready to roll, Keezy. So good, Mogi, man. Love that song, Mogi. Ben Horty, Jizz, what'd you go for? Bit of audio slave. Oh, God.

26:19With a mouth full of gold

26:23Mike Minogue:Interesting. Does that song have a chorus? No. Not really. Just so it keeps on going then. Does it? I guess we'll find out when it wins this role. Here's the song I chose by the Chillies, Parallel Universe. Let me in Cast down my side by down California King I swear it's everywhere I'm holding everything It's just a song from the chillies that isn't just funky or whatever. One piece of feedback we get when we do the music jury where we hear from the listeners is they all say more chillies.

27:07Keyzie:Well, there you go. Let's go to the phone lines there, Kesey. G'day Hayden, you mad bastard. How's life? Oh, it's great, Helen. Good on you, Hayden, you bat bone. What are you running with, Hayden? Oh, being from Canterbury, I'm going with the Crusader. Yeah, okay. That's the one, brother. You get it, though, man. You always have. God, he's let me down a lot lately, Hayden. I used to like him. I reckon Billy will be a mad dog for audio slave. G'day, Billy, you mad bastard. How's life? How, fellas? Phillips, it's bloody good. How are you? Yeah, good, thanks, mate. Good, good, good. What are you running with, Billy?

27:40Mike Minogue:Well, I'm going to have to try and put a stop for Keezy's Red Hot Streakies on and go for Thunderbird Boy. Old Parker. Old Parker. Yeah, yes, m 'lady.

27:49Keyzie:Yes, m 'lady. I'm Thunderbird boy. Oh, boy, oh, boy. Thank you very much, Billy. G'day, Rob. How's life? Oh, g'day, fellas. It's fantastic. What a beautiful day. Yeah, it's a cracking day, Rob. Can't complain, man. You're in Totonga there?

28:05Mike Minogue:Yeah, Totonga goes to the bunch of, a couple of beautiful fellas on the radio this afternoon. Oh, yeah.

28:10Keyzie:Get on, you Rob. Get on, you back. What are you running with, Rob? I'm going with you, Hoity J. Oh! Love the audio slave.

28:17Mike Minogue:Oh, who doesn't, man? Yeah, good stuff, mate. Some of the best songs ever, mate. Good on you, Rob. Thank you very much, mate. Hoity J wins. Yeah, man. Audio slave. Yeah. Thanks, fellas. Oh, it's a tune. Can you just give us one final m 'lady? M 'lady. M 'lady. This is actually a wee bit of a tune, Audio Slave. Turn it up. The Hauraki Big Show. Weekdays from 4 on Radio Hauraki Yes

28:46Keyzie:Audio Slave, there he are Friday, Throbber, your time has come, fellas

28:50Mike Minogue:Not a bad choice there, Jase Thanks, man It does, in fact, have a chorus, that song It does How do you choose the part of the song that you get Pugs to snip off for me to play?

28:59Keyzie:Well, that's the part of it that annoys me You know what I mean? I go, oh, that's a good tune Then it's like, oh, do I get that bit? Do I get that bit? I go, oh, no, man Just go from 22 seconds or whatever It's usually just 22 seconds

29:11Mike Minogue:Really? Why don't you just say Hey Pugs Pick the best bit of the song

29:14Keyzie:I did that a couple of times And he's gone Not my job Really? Not my job Not my job I can show you the text

29:25Mike Minogue:I can show you For those listening Pugs do you want me to turn your mic on? Or do you want to come in here? What do you want to do? I don't know I think Pugs are running a bit hot out there He is running real hot Can you hear me? Yeah I can hear you G'day fellas how are you? G'day man Just before you go Hang on. Ooh, it's Pug Sound. Thanks, Keezy. I'd just like to point out that when Jase sends me snippets sometimes or parts of the throbbers that he wants me to play, I will pick a better part for him because the parts that he picks are so shit. What happened today? Were you busy? Yes. And it's also not my job.

30:00Mike Minogue:But I'm happy to help you if you ask, Jase. We have to do his ass, man. We have to do his ass, man. I have ass and he said not my job. Yeah. My pussy shit.

30:10Keyzie:Yeah. But I tell you what, fellas, good to get off the mark. Yeah, well done, man. Thanks, man. What are the scores, Keezy?

30:16Mike Minogue:I'll just go to the scoreboard here. Out in front, Mogey, Keezy and Jase tied on one win. How's Pugsun doing? Pugs currently has zero wins. What a loser. Yeah. Not his job to get wins. Am I right, fellas? Hey, we had a text. Can we get some more chilies?

30:38Mike Minogue:Why is that funny?

30:40Keyzie:Well, at least it's a different one. Of course it's a different one.

30:46Mike Minogue:Desecration smile. The Hauraki Big Show. Weekdays from four on Radio Hauraki.

30:51Keyzie:Yes, indeed, Nirvana on the radio. Hauraki Big Show this Friday afternoon. Now, is this breaking news, Maggie? Oh, absolutely it is. Yeah.

31:03This is breaking news. Fellas, last night in the semi-final between Irina Sabalenka, last night in the semi-final, she's won this match, incidentally, against Alina Svetlina. 6-2, 6-3, absolutely wiped the floor with her. Sabalenka getting away to her fourth consecutive Australian Open. How good is that? Final. Yep. It doesn't happen very often. She's won it twice, I believe. She's a freak. She's a beast. She is a beast. Last night, however, she had a point deducted for excessive grunting. Excessive grunting. Now, that's classed as a hindrance. Yes, or distraction. Hindrance is exactly how it's classed.

31:51Mike Minogue:And, because I watched this game, a hindrance comes into play when her grunt is still going when the opponent goes to make contact with the ball. Right. So if you're still grunting, like, ah! Right. That's technically how they know it's a hindrance. Ah, right. Well, yeah, she was obviously shocked. Any time a referee makes a call against a player, the player is absolutely shocked. Always in tennis. And highly abusive. Yes. And really bratty and just a horrible, horrible person. That's what tennis players like. It's all about. I love it. Have we got the audio there, Kesey? We certainly do. So have a listen to this and just have a think.

32:24Mike Minogue:Does this sound like a hindrance?

32:29Stop.

32:30Mike Minogue:Hindrance. Oh, can we hear that one more time, Kesey?

32:36Stop. Endless. Not too bad, right? Really? That was it? That was it.

32:41Mike Minogue:Yeah, I mean, I've heard much, much worse. I've heard heaps of moaning. And that's like, that's nothing. You know, I've heard so much.

32:50Keyzie:Screaming?

32:52Mike Minogue:Sure, man, yeah, yeah.

32:53Keyzie:Certainly, in all seriousness, way worse. Yeah, way worse. And from both ends. It got to the point, I can't remember, it was a few years back where it was becoming a real issue, the amount of noise that players were making with their shots. Sharapova? Yeah, Sharapova was the one. You're right. Yeah, she was a shocking bastard.

33:12Mike Minogue:Yeah, and she actually had to tone back the way she was playing, essentially, the amount of grunting. That was fine. That was nothing. Martina Hingis was another one. They did come on with a rule, I'm sure, where it was the people that are playing already can groan, but the new ones coming through are not allowed to do it. It's a grunt because it puts everyone off. It is an annoying thing.

33:32Keyzie:It is an annoying thing, but when you think about the amount of exertion these guys are putting onto the ball, it's understandable that there is a bit of a grunt and a noise because they are smashing the living shit out of it. That's right. Well, I'm just looking at the rules here, and it says, grunting can be ruled a hindrance if it is delayed and comes after the shot to disguise timing, or it's sudden or unusual compared to the player's norm, is clearly meant to distract or includes words, shouts or noises. I think the call here was, I remember the umpire saying there was an additional little bit.

34:03Yeah, there was. And then there was an additional bit.

34:06Mike Minogue:So have a listen again.

34:13So she was being a bit of a, you know. Just a little bit. Yeah, exactly. And all you do is lose a point, so it's not that bad. But, I mean, I've heard far worse than that.

34:21Mike Minogue:You guys used to play tennis quite a bit, eh? You guys were grunters. Oh, yeah, we were mad grunters. I was a shocker. Yeah, yeah, yeah. What did you used to sound like?

34:28Keyzie:Well, I'll tell you what. We should go to a break and we'll...

34:31Mike Minogue:Right, okay, well, then we'll come back and we'll grunt. Yes. Yeah. Well, we might have some old audio. Oh, really? I don't know. Pugs be able to dig some up. Yeah, you should be able to. The Hauraki Big Show with Jace, Mike and Kesey. Tune in weekdays at four on Radio Hauraki.

34:46Keyzie:Faith, no more there on the Radio Hauraki Big Show this Friday afternoon. We're talking tennis controversies, fellas. Absolutely we are. After last night's semi-final in the Australian Open when Irina Sabalenka defeated Alina Svetolina 6-2-6-3, Sabalenka was deducted a point for hindrance based on her over-the-top grunting.

35:10Mike Minogue:Yeah. Stop. Hindrance. So uh-huh. Uh-huh. Uh-huh. And what you can't hear there is then the 18-minute argument that they had, the complete disbelief of Sabalenka. She was shocked to the core.

35:27Keyzie:Can I ask, because you said you were watching this, Kesey, what was Svetlina doing in this process? Was she like... Just having a drink and waiting. Oh, okay. You know how one person sort of loses... Having a tantee. Yes. Standing by. Standing by. We'll just wait for it to pass. Now, when it comes to hindrances, it can be for any number of things. Kesey, as you said, it can be for going far too long and you're still groaning.

35:49Mike Minogue:While they're hitting the next ball. Exactly. or you've got different tones or you might call something out even, like out. Yeah, yeah, right. Or just saved you. Yeah, yeah, yeah. You're not even allowed to say that stuff. But I know they've cracked down on it recently. Yes. Within the last 10 years, they've become quite strict on it. Yes. But back in the day, it wasn't that strict. Well, it was really bad. I can't remember. There was some, look, I don't want to, some Russian blonde. It wasn't Kornikova. It was somebody along those lines. Yeah, Sharapova. Sharapova. and there was a lot of it back in the day as well.

36:22Hingis was bad for it as well. But it can be off-putting. But back in the day, Jase, that's just what we did. Exactly. We just let loose.

36:30Mike Minogue:We let loose. So you guys played tennis, obviously.

36:33Keyzie:Oh, yeah, to a very, very high level. And like I said, you know, the velocity we were hitting it, it's impossible not to have some kind of expulsion of noise. Well, it was very much the coaching at the time, wasn't it? Because previously it had been very much keep quiet. Yes, contained. Any kind of physical exertion, you just keep it inside. You don't do anything. Like the all black sort of styles. Right.

36:54Mike Minogue:But it's interesting, though, because if you grunt while you're doing something, it does give you an extra, like, 10%. Well, it's like when you're at the gym, you know, because then you're benching, you know, 20, 30 kilos, and, you know, you get to that fourth rep, and you're like, Yeah, yeah.

37:09Keyzie:Veins popping in your neck.

37:10Mike Minogue:Yeah, totally, totally. Well, Pugs has managed to track down some audio of you guys playing back in the day. Oh, did he? Back in the day, did you, Pugs? Did you pull it off ESPN, Pokes? Yeah, yeah. Yeah, it was off ESPN. Do you want to trip down memory lane? Oh, why not? There you go.

37:34Keyzie:That's it.

37:51Mike Minogue:What was happening at the end there? Because the point finished. Huh? The point and the tennis kind of finished and you guys kind of kept going. What was... Did it? No, it didn't. Didn't it? Can you play it again? No, I don't think so. You want me to play it again? Okay. Cool.

38:1630.

38:17Keyzie:No, I remember that one. We weren't actually playing. We were watching. We were just very close to the on-court microphones.

38:40Mike Minogue:Oh. Oh.

38:46Keyzie:Gee, it took me back, though. It brings back some memories, that's for sure. Oh, halcyon days, Keezy. Halcyon days, mate. Here's Lenny Kravitz.

38:55Mike Minogue:The Hauraki Big Show. Weekdays from four on Radio Hauraki.

39:00Keyzie:Gee, there on the radio. A hodaki big show this Friday afternoon. Now listen up, New Zealand. There's lots going on after 6 o 'clock. So don't you dare turn that radio off.

39:10Mike Minogue:Certainly is, Jase. But before we do go to 6 o 'clock, we've got some exciting news. Sure do. It's not breaking news. It's just exciting news. We're giving away tickets to the Symphony Festival. Wow. Brought to you by Manuka Fuel. This happens every year at Auckland's Domain. March 21st, you and a mate come along as VIB guests. Now, do you want to guess what the letter V stands for in V-I-B? Because obviously IB is important backbone. Oh, yeah.

39:40Keyzie:But I just don't want to say it on air.

39:41Mike Minogue:No, say it. I mean, you're probably correct.

39:43Keyzie:No. No, you're probably correct. Just say it. No, look, I'm experienced enough in radio, Keyes, you know I can't say it on air. You can't trust his instincts.

39:51Mike Minogue:So something important back, surely you can just say it. What is it?

39:56Keyzie:I'm not saying it, man.

39:57Mike Minogue:What could it possibly be, Jase?

39:59Keyzie:Very. Let's say very. Yes. Correct.

40:03Mike Minogue:Why were you scared to say that? This guy. God. It's not like you were going to say vagina.

40:10Mike Minogue:If you want to come along with a mate and be our VIB guest, head to hodaki.co.nz and enter there. The prize includes flights from anywhere, thanks to Air New Zealand's Grab a Seat, a night at Sky City Hotel, and VIP tickets to Symphony Festival, and I will see you there. Huge line-up this year, fellas. Fizzin. Symphony, of course. shapeshifter, hot dub time machine, made you look nice and earlish. The exponents, the black seeds, Kayleigh Bell. Wow, really? Peaking dub, yeah. Oh my god. That is a great line-up. It certainly is, Jase. The Hauraki Big Show with Jase, Mike and Keezy. Tune in weekdays at four on Radio Hauraki.

40:48Keyzie:Yeah, welcome back, you massive backbones. Hope your Friday evening's really going off as we head into the weekend, eh, fellas? Oh, man. Hey, you're listening to The Big Show, by the way, brought to you by Reburger.

41:01Mike Minogue:Nice. Beef, chicken, vegan, and vegetarian options available. Reburger, redefining the norm.

41:11Nailed it.

41:12Mike Minogue:Thanks there, fellas. That was great stuff, Keezy. So I was just distracted because my wife was texting me. Oh, you shouldn't be on your phone.

41:18Keyzie:Not while you're doing a live radio show, Keezy. That's really unprofessional, man. That's why Jason and I leave our phones out there with our pugs on. Yeah, totally. I don't have my phone in with me. I will not be distracted while I'm doing quality radio.

41:32Mike Minogue:Yeah, nah. And I will start doing that. I'm sorry. She was just saying that the thing about getting fish and chips and going for a walk after dinner. Will you eat the fish and chips while you walk? Nah, nah, nah. While you walk to get the fish and chips? I think we'll go somewhere, like maybe on the north shore of Auckland here. Oh, will you?

41:49Keyzie:That's so much admin.

41:50Mike Minogue:Yeah, oh, heaven forbid you go anywhere that isn't home. He's got a point. I never thought about it like that. Going over the bridge for like 20 minutes to a nice beach with our guests, then go for a nice walk and then get some fish and chips, eat it on the beach. Oh, that's right. Now, this is the thing, isn't it? You've got to make it seem like you've got an interesting life up here. A hundred percent. Yeah, yeah. I hadn't thought about that. And I would way rather just do what Jase does and just go straight home. Straight home, yes.

42:16Keyzie:Well, we're actually, thinking of fish and chips, you know, remember back in the day when you'd rip the hole in the top there? Yeah. And you'd just pull out the fish and you'd just walk around with your bag of fish and chips. while you're wrapped up fish and chips.

42:28Mike Minogue:So you'd do that rather than sit down and unlay it all and sit around. Did you not do that, Kesey? No. Yeah, you'd pick that open. We used to do it back in Levin. We'd cover our chips, not in sauce, fellas, but tartia sauce. Yes. And then you'd just rip a hole in the little packet there, Kesey, and you're reaching in and walking home from college and that. Oh, how good. Oh, I did do that. Two bucks worth of hot chips, brother. So good. Oh, those are the days.

42:52Keyzie:Actually, we're having a bit of a dilemma what we're going to have for takeaways tonight. I might seriously go Ree Burger.

42:57Mike Minogue:Oh, yeah, okay. Righto.

42:58Keyzie:Sure you will. Okay, let's go to a song.

43:01Mike Minogue:Yeah, man, the chips are good. I get it. I know, I've heard. The Verve? Yes, the Verve. The Hauraki Big Show, weekdays from four on Radio Hauraki.

43:12Keyzie:Gorillaz there on the Radio Hauraki Big Show on this glorious Friday evening.

43:17Mike Minogue:Hey, fellas, look, I've got a bit of a yarn for you, but I don't want you guys to do that thing where you sort of add a lot of expectations from the audience that this yarn is going to be amazing. Because it's not an amazing yarn. Okay. It's Keezy's Mop Debacle. That would make a great name for a movie. Well, no. Keezy's Mop Debacle. This is what I'm talking about. It's not a movie. Already I can see.

43:42Keyzie:Yeah, I'm picking.

43:43Mike Minogue:This is going to be a hell of a story.

43:45Keyzie:Maybe a series. Well, like a mini series. A mini series. HBO. HBO. Who would be playing Keezy in this? I'm thinking Timothy Shumala-Mading-Dong. Oh, yeah. Or maybe Dwayne The Rock Johnson. Now we're talking.

43:59Mike Minogue:Yeah. Now we're talking. Who's playing my wife, my love interest? Because she's involved. Jase. The temptation for Jase to say an absolute shocker right now. Go on, Jase. Go do it. No. Do it.

44:14Keyzie:Your wife's still not talking to me after my last shocker. I can't afford to do it again.

44:19Mike Minogue:Who were you going to say that? No. The trouble is you can't say it on microphone. You can make a little joke between friends, but you can't deride someone and go, oh, this will be a shocker for old Kesey. It's a shame, isn't it? You used to be able to do that, didn't you?

44:33Keyzie:But anyway, get to your story, Kesey, because I'm fizzing about it.

44:37Mike Minogue:Do you want to know who I was picturing you saying just then? Who? For some reason, Whoopi Goldberg. It doesn't make any sense, but I was just like. No. Yeah, no, no, of course not. So anyway, Keezy's mop debacle. Sorry, we're out of time. Oh, no, no, no, no, no. Trust me, it's good. You're going to want to hear about it. So, fellas, I get home from work and I look outside by the bins and there's a mop there drying. This is so good. Now, I know what you're picturing, a stick mop with like the - Frongs. With the - Tendrils. Tendrils, yeah. Tendrils on a stick. To be honest, Whoopi Goldberg style mop, you know what I mean?

45:21Mike Minogue:Oh, it does. It does. Is that what sort of, say you picture it in old Keezy comes out? Honey, I'm home. Oh, no, it's my wife. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I can see the jokes. But you know what I mean? That's the kind of mop you're picturing. It's not that. It's one of those green plastic ones with the sort of plastic grip halfway down, which you push forward and it squeezes the end and folds it. That was the one that I was picturing. Yeah, yeah, yeah, in a clapping motion. Yes, I know the one. So she's got it out there by the bin. So I go, oh, we've got guests coming around. She's doing a cleanup. She wants me to get rid of that old manky mop, right?

45:54Mike Minogue:So I get the mop and - It's quite a leap. I know. But she's put it near the bins because I was like, oh, maybe she couldn't fit it in the bins. So I break it over my leg and stuff it into the bin. In doing so, tearing a hole in my favorite shorts by accident. and then walk inside and go, oh, I put that mop in the bin for you. And then she's like, what do you mean? I was just drying it. I was just drying it.

46:28Mike Minogue:And then I was like, wait, so I just ripped my shorts for nothing? Yeah. And she's like, yeah, now we need a new mop. Moppy Goldberg. What? Yeah. The Hauraki Big Show, weekdays from four on Radio Hauraki.

46:46Keyzie:Everclear there on the Radio Hauraki Big Show this Friday evening, and I'm looking outside in this glorious sunshine thinking, I tell you what, fellas, it'd be nice to go out in the boat on the old harbour there, do a bit of fishing, a bit of swimming. With that in mind, Radio Hauraki has the most extraordinary boat to give away with$75 ,000. Tell them all about it, Keezy. Oh, cheers, Moggy.

47:14Mike Minogue:Thanks to Finchaser Boats. It's a Finchaser 535 center console, 60 horse, Mercury 4-stroke, Voyager trailer. Whole lot of goodies as well. The package is amazing. You just have to name it. Text the word BOAT to 3483. Get yourself in the drawer. Come up with a name, and if you win it, it'll be written on the side. Whole lot of new names have come in there. Fellas, I'm going to read them out for you. You just let me know what you think, all right? Leaky But Whole. W-H-O-L-E. Leaky but whole. Leaky but whole. Yeah. It's doing too much work. Right, okay. For not much return. Yeah. Kinner, Kinner, fish for dinner?

47:55That makes me laugh, yep. You like that? I don't know why I like that one. Kinner, Kinner, fish for dinner. I like it. Makes no sense.

48:01Keyzie:Yep. Jase, do you want to comment at all? It's not great. I don't like it. It's better than the one before it. But then again, I don't really like Kinner.

48:08Mike Minogue:Yeah, right. Yeah. Because you couldn't have it on the side without possibly liking Kinna. Yeah, you'd have to be a Kinna fan. Yeah, I'd assume so. Kinna being the Kinna as opposed to the haircut. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. What about The Big Show? Yep. The Big Show.

48:24Keyzie:Yep. Simple, easily identifiable, and making a statement out on the water.

48:31Mike Minogue:And beloved by all. What about this? Whipper Skipper. No. Six Tides, The Pork Mastiff. The Pork Mastiff? What does that mean? I don't know. That sounds dirty.

48:47Keyzie:I'm almost getting the impression now, guys, that people just don't care. No, they do care.

48:51Mike Minogue:Don't start making fun of people's names.

48:54Keyzie:They're just going, I'll chuck a name in there. I'm not going to put any effort into it. That's right. You know what I mean? Because I'm still going in the drawer. I do agree with them. You have to say, Kesey, these aren't good. No, they're great. I mean, it's great that people are entering. Fill your boots, and it makes no sense what you put in there. so I can understand why people don't care. And probably that's the problem with this competition, if there was one, which there isn't, but if there was, it would be that the winner is not decided based on the quality of the name, and maybe it should be.

49:19Mike Minogue:Correct. Yeah, but then people might be intimidated thinking, oh, I can't think of a name. Well, then they don't have to enter. That's fine. But the thing is, people might love these names and have thought about what they actually want their boat to have written on the side of it. That's not true. Well, then they're fools. Yeah, and they don't deserve a boat. What about this one? Your mum. Your mama. Your mum. I don't think it's your mum, it's just your mum. Your mum. So you get a phone call, what are you doing? I'm just out on your mum. Oh, yeah? Yeah, yeah. What? Tight lines, loose morals. Carpe diem.

49:49Mike Minogue:Birdshit Chris. Tinny. Dave the Wave. The Cutty Shart. Instead of the Cutty Sark. Isn't that a famous frigate or something from the 1800s? The Cutty Sark? I've never heard of it. Never heard of it. I'm not down on my frigates. Oh, you're not. You've never heard of the Cutty Sark? No. No. Text BOAT to 3483 And then Jason Michael diss your Boat name That's the competition The Hauraki Big Show Weekdays from 4 on Radio Hauraki

50:18Keyzie:Pixies there on the Radio Hauraki Big Show This Friday evening Let's give out some advice Fellas Beat Paddy Nip 69

50:30Mike Minogue:At gmail.com Get in touch With the fellas Fellas, real email address, use it. MePattynip69 at gmail.com, 100 % anonymous, and you get a$50 Reburger voucher if we read it out on the show.

50:44Keyzie:Unless you've had one before and then you don't get another one.

50:47Mike Minogue:You get jack. You get jack. Now, this one's an interesting one, fellas. First show of the year this year, we were at The Mount at Brewco, and a lovely bloke named Troy came up to Mogey and had a bit of a yarn with him. Yes. And he said, Mogi, what model trains are you into, man? That's right. That's right, because a few years ago, we were sort of running a storyline that old Mogi liked his model trains. I remember I went down to Hamilton. To a train show. Well, I went to Hamilton. I went to the gardens there. There happened to be a train show on. So I did a whole bunch of videos on Instagram. We'd already started the chat that I was into model trains, and so it really consolidated the yarn.

51:29It looked like I'd gone there deliberately where I just wandered around and sort of took the mickey for about 10 minutes.

51:33Mike Minogue:Well, because there was a bit of a yarn, too, that you used to wear the conductor's hat. That's right. And sit in your basement. That's right. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Which, by the way, totally sweet if you're into it. Oh, nothing wrong with that. It's all G. But Troy came up, asked you about which model trains you were into, and was stoked. Yeah, I had to burst his bubble. You had to burst his bubble. You said, oh, I'm not actually into the man. Yeah, yeah. We had a lovely conversation about it, and it's always a bit of a shock when you find out that people believe what you say on the radio. It is, isn't it?

52:00To be honest with you. And so he was a little bit gutted, but he was later on when he had, you know, a few beers under his belt, he came back up to me. He was super gutted. He was so gutted. I felt really bad for him. I really did. But, yeah, I mean, that's the thing with Troy. He's the only one into model trains.

52:17Mike Minogue:No, Mogi, there's plenty of them out there, Troy. But he's written in anyway. Yeah. Cool. G'day, fellas. What advice would you give a bloke who's been cut deep by his hero not being a model train enthusiast? That's from Troy the Train Backbone. Yeah, it's a tough one. What was the actual question? What advice would you give a bloke who's been cut deep by his hero not being a model train enthusiast? Well, that's the obvious advice, isn't it, which is never meet your heroes. Yeah. Never meet your heroes.

52:46Keyzie:I remember in the last show that we did at the end of last year for Chasing the Fox, and Keezy and I were on the sideline there. Oh, we talked about this. And a dude came up to us and was like, Like, fellas, and blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. And he was just banging away. And Keezy and I basically said nothing at all.

53:04Mike Minogue:Well, because you had a headache.

53:05Keyzie:I had a headache.

53:06Mike Minogue:And I convinced you to come watch some holes of golf before you left.

53:10Keyzie:And so this guy's banging away. And then he sort of stopped and went, oh, you guys don't say much, do you? I thought you'd be banging away. You guys aren't even funny. You guys are really boring. You're really boring. I thought you'd be blah, blah, blah. And Keezy went, well, that's us doing our job, mate.

53:26Mike Minogue:I also said, oh, we've literally just finished recording the show. Jase has got a headache. Yeah. Yeah, and Jase is being a sad sack too, I suppose. Yeah, just generally meeting the public sort of stuff. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Why? I don't like that, do I? But that's, to be honest, though, the model train thing, that's the only sort of yarn we've had on the show. Yeah. Like everything else is. Oh, yeah, straight up. You can see why people get fooled, because there's one lie in amongst an ocean of truth. And that's why we decided after that, we were like, hey, let's never tell any lies ever again on the show.

54:00Mike Minogue:Yeah, yeah.

54:00Keyzie:And we've held to that. I've been really proud of how we've done that.

54:03Mike Minogue:We certainly have. But Troy, thanks for getting in touch. Sorry about that. But Troy. But Troy. Can't call him But Troy. Come on, man. He's already cut deep. Can't call him But Troy. He used to be Model Train Troy, and now he's But Troy. Oh, But Train Troy. But the good news is you now get a$50 reburger voucher.

54:23Keyzie:How good. Yeah. That'll help.

54:28Mike Minogue:The Hauraki Big Show. Weekdays from four on Radio Hauraki.

54:40Keyzie:Well, there you go, you mad bastards. That's the big show done and dusted for your Friday and indeed for the week. And the podcast outro, you'll be happy to hear. I don't think we had to put a disclaimer on this one. No, we did pretty well today, I thought. Yeah, we were quite restrained. Can I remember anything we talked about? No.

54:55Mike Minogue:Oh, yes. That's right. I just did a hand gesture to Mogey. He remembered. Today's episode was all about Jace's new buzzy shirt.

55:03Keyzie:It's a sketch more than anything else. Yeah, it's like a doodle. Yes, a doodle. It's not a doodle. It's a couple of buzies.

55:10Mike Minogue:No, no. Someone's doodled some buzies.

55:12Keyzie:Well, funny you should say that because I found my doodle T-shirt as well. Oh, yeah. And it's just a T-shirt with a massive **** on it. Hang on. We're keeping pretty clean today. Wait a second. Maybe we should have put a star.

55:31Keyzie:Oh, God. Now, Mogie, I believe you're off to a wedding now. I'm going to a wedding. I think the last year, tomorrow, I'm off to a wedding. Some mates of mine, but my wife, she's known them since high school. I don't think I've been to a wedding since mine. Wow. I don't think so. Yeah, yeah. It's been a bloody long time. Oh, yeah. Yeah, that's right. Yeah, yeah. The one we weren't invited to. We were just standing outside peeking over the fence there.

55:57Mike Minogue:Yeah, over the hedge. Well, hang on. No, there wasn't a hedge. Oh, no, there was. I wasn't invited to either of your guys' weddings. No, that's true. That was an oversight on my part, certainly. No, it was deliberate on mine. But I'm very much looking forward to this wedding. Very much looking forward to it. And also not having to drive to where it is quite a long way away. Can't be bothered. Yeah, good. You want to wear your new sandals? No, my wife's sandals, she's saying. Sandals at a wedding. What are you talking about? I think she's got a new head that's a bit more classy than that, but I reckon jandals are all good, like you say.

56:27A couple of jandals, sweet as.

56:29Mike Minogue:Sandals, man, your new ones.

56:31Keyzie:And Keezy, don't feel bad about not inviting us to your wedding, mate.

56:34Mike Minogue:Okay, sweet.

56:35Keyzie:We'll come to the baby shower.

56:37Mike Minogue:What baby shower? Oh, yeah. We're not pregnant. It's raining babies. No, it's not raining. That's not even a saying. But also, if you do have a baby shower, did dudes go to that? Did dudes? No, generally not. You've been to one, Keezy. I know I went to one Yeah yeah you've been to one Not really Not as a general rule Your generation mate You'll be having baby showers Yeah true You and the boys Will be in the baby shower gown Well I guess it's stuff I should probably scrub up on Given that I'm about to have a baby Yeah Woo I'm joking That's good stuff I am joking Put that up on the socials here I'm Insta Just cut out the bit Where he says I'm joking It's a joke Just cut that bit out No don't See you Monday bye