FULL SHOW: How To: Vietnam

16:04Oh, backbone! Massive backbone.

16:08Jase:Is there a harder job than staying at home watching TV with the kids? It's manic, I tell you.

16:15Keyzie:Oh, it's wrong, man, I tell you what. And obviously, Gracie, you love your muck-a-leg. Yeah, my partner's a huge fan. I'd love to surprise him. What's your partner's name? Riley He's a mad bastard I don't know if I want Riley in Brisbane Yeah he's full on Not after the last time Good news Gracie You are officially in the draw mate So you hold the line alright Awesome thank you so much Also if Logan's listening I accidentally hung up on him instead of putting him on hold He'll be filthy with you Call us back brother G'day Sam you mad bastard How's life Yeah, good, mate. And yourself? Yeah, good.

16:56Keyzie:Thank you, Sam. Thank you for asking. What do you do for a crust? I work for Fonterra, mate. So that's, you know, back man of the country. Oh, yeah, back man. That's what they say, man.

17:05Jase:That's what they say. Totally. Sam, are you a rugby league man? Huge. Okay. All right. Who's your favourite Canberra Raider? Oh, Reuben Wookiee, of course. Yeah. Oh, yeah. That's a trick question.

17:20Keyzie:Boom. Good on you, Sam. You're in the draw too, mate. Let's stay on the line of pucks. We'll sort you out, all right? Legends. Good on you, mate. That was a trick question. Boom, straight away, Ruben Wickie. I would have gone Mal Meninga. Sorry? For your favourite Canberra player. What did you say? Mal Meninga. Oh, Mal Meninga. Oh, yeah, cool. Here's Guns. Roses. The Hauraki Big Show. Weekdays from four on Radio Hauraki. Yes, indeed. The White Stripes there on the Radio Hauraki Big Show. this Thursday afternoon. Let's talk TV. What's on the telly with Mike Minogue.

18:02Yeah!

18:04Jase:That's right. Last night I watched episode one of season two of Wolf Hall. Wolf Hall. Never heard of it. The first season came out must be five or six years ago based on a book. It's set in Ingrid and it's about Henry VIII and it's set in the court of Henry VIII but it focuses on, I think his name is Thomas Cromwell who starts out as the son of a smithy and then works his way up into the king's favour. Slides his way up there. He does. The actor is Mark Rylance who was a huge actor in theatre over in the UK and this was his first TV role, which then led him to be in a whole deluge of different things.

18:56Jase:Steven Spielberg's The BFG. He played the BFG. He's brilliant. Bridge of Spies, I think, was another one that he's in. He's very, very good. The first season is absolutely magnificent. Brilliant drama, four episodes, something like that. And it's taken them so long to do a second season because they've been waiting for the next book to be written. So he started that last night. Dull as shit. God, it was boring. Oh, no. But I think it'll get better. I'm just hoping that it's going to get better. It was just really like things were happening, but everything was just played on exactly the same note.

19:27Jase:Right. Just kept on going there, and I got really annoyed with it in the end, but I'm going to stick with it. So far, one buzzy out of a possible five buzies. That's on Neon, and it's Wolf Hall. First season, highly, highly, highly recommend. You simply must.

19:44Keyzie:Yeah, great stuff. I didn't really watch a lot of... I finished off Murdoch the Dynasty. Oh, you did? Yes. What a piece of work they are. What a... You know, it amazes me. These people have got billions and billions of dollars and it's never enough, mate. It's never enough. They're not happy. No. They're not content within themselves because they need more billions and billions of dollars. More billions.

20:08Jase:It's about seeing the ideas right. It's not about the money. Yes. It's about having these big plans and seeing them come to fruition. So power, isn't it? The Halls of Power, Jase. It is power.

20:18Keyzie:It is all about power. But it's a kind of tragic tale in a way of a family kind of torn apart and disintegrating for billions and billions of dollars. Yeah. Totally. That's on Netflix, right? Yes. I watched the second half and have now completed the new Louis Theroux documentary on Netflix Inside the Manosphere.

20:41Like infuriating to watch, especially for my wife, because it's about this new trend on social media of hyper-masculinity and basically saying like, the man's job is to go out and earn and the woman's job is to be at home with the kids. However, all these guys that are on these podcasts and Instagram channels and stuff are also, they're big fans of, and they insist on, a one-way monogamous relationship. So they're allowed several partners, but their wife has only allowed them. And it's just, it's crazy because these guys are really like motivational and they're like, you've got to get up, you've got to get out there, you've got to earn your money, blah blah blah blah and you're like okay cool this is good this is motivational then they just veer off to this weird anti-woman anti-everything we're all in the matrix and I was just like oh my god but it's not just annoying because Louis Theroux is there asking just the hardest questions to their face the stuff you're thinking he just asks them he doesn't care it is equal parts infuriating but also really entertaining because Louis is just so god damn good Yeah.

21:43I recommend it. It's like a four-bizzy documentary, a four-bizzy Netflix documentary. Sounds good.

21:48Jase:It's interesting to me, that stuff. It is interesting. It's sort of Andrew Tate and all those sort of... All those people. And it's really interesting because they just say stuff like, you know, all the women I've met, they don't want to go out and have their own careers and stuff. They just want a man to look. And I'm like, all the women you've met are all OnlyFans models and these people that you surround yourself with. You know, it's just stupid. Is it a disgrace? It is a disgrace.

22:11Keyzie:Now, listen, coming up after 5 o 'clock, we talk to Mania Stewart about a number of things. Actually, he's about to go on that big trip, the wellness retreat. The wellness retreat tomorrow. Also, he was at Lincoln Park last night, so I'll be looking to get a review from Mania. Also, Pugsan is going on Sunday away to Vietnam on a holiday. Yes. Hoody J, you've been there, man, so maybe some tips. Yeah, sure, man, sure. After 5. The Hodaaki Big Show with Jace, Mike and Keezy. Tune in weekdays at 4 on Radio Hodaaki. Welcome back, you massive backbones. Hope your Thursday's absolutely going off. You're listening to The Big Show, brought to you by Toledo's.

22:52Rehydrate the right way with Toledo's, real ingredients and natural colours. Holy Toledo's. Gulp, gulp.

22:59Keyzie:Now you're drinking. Yeah, I think we're onto something here, fellas. This is the way to do it. You just sort of yell stuff. Well, I gave you guys two out of ten buzzies for yours and mine eight out of ten. Yours is shocking. Why do you get to rate everything? It's just how I am, man. Why are you the rater? Everything I look at these days, it's all buzzies in terms of, you know, marking it out of buzzies. And you watched a lot of fun. We gave it eight. I gave mine an eight, yes. Eight buzzies out of ten. That's good stuff, fellas. Hey, a lot of people texting in saying, oh.

23:31Jase:What are they saying? Saying, oh, did I miss the Magic Round draw? Yeah, what are you saying? And then I'm just letting them know that another Q2 call is going to play shortly. It is the first day. We've put the first three people in the draw to join us at NRL Magic Round in May. Exciting. Thanks, our mates, at boystrip.co.nz. So just listen out, all right, this hour. There will be another Q2 call at some stage.

23:52Keyzie:Great stuff, Keezy. In the meantime, here's Soundgarden. The Hauraki Big Show with Jace, Mike, and Keezy. Tune in weekdays at four on Radio Hauraki. The Black Keys there on the radio. Hauraki Big Show this Thursday afternoon. The time is 14 minutes past five and Pugsans with us. We've lost the sting, so sorry, Pugs, I had to make it up. Pugs, could you sort that out, please, man? Pugsans with us. To be fair, you've already left a building, haven't you? What gives you that impression? Well, it's just that the stings are disappearing. You're off to Vietnam, you know, next week for three weeks. Right.

24:31Are you sort of an attack on my work ethic? No, no. Jase, seriously. You know how defensive he gets, man. You just got to – you're better off just leaving it. You know what a move is. Yeah, yeah. Especially when it comes to his work ethic. He's very touchy about that. Yeah, my bad, man. He hates it being pointed out. I think I'm projecting because I actually am losing my work ethic, Jase. I know that. So if you can just leave it alone, please.

24:49Keyzie:When Mogi came up to the other day, he said, God, old bloody Pugsan's flown the coop. Is that what he said? He's flown the coop? Yeah, totally. I've already left. He's already gone. Yeah. I've seen it soft in the head I get that a lot The reason we got you in here Pugs is just to kind of bag your work ethic Yeah, mean And then after that was done We were going to chat about the fact that you are going to Vietnam You leave on Sunday Yes I do, very excited Very exciting, it's your first big holiday since I've known you Three weeks in South East Asia Oh you went to Japan Yeah that was the last big one that wasn't work related Oh you're true Japan 23, 24 How could you forget about that Kesey He's called Pugsana.

25:29Yeah, come on, man. Bro. Sorry, I've flown the coop.

25:32Keyzie:Now, obviously, Pugsana, I've been to Vietnam. He's Mr. Vietnam. I am Vietnam. You don't even need to go, man. Zincho. What is that? I can't remember, actually. I think it's thank you or hello. One or the other. Something like that. Just chuck it out. Now, listen, you know what it's like when you go travelling, Pugsana. everyone's throwing advice to you left, right and centre. And I know that old Keyes has been pestering you with, oh, do this or do that or whatever, you know, all the time. He hasn't even been to me. He hasn't even been there. It's incessant. But I have been there. I don't know if you know that.

26:13Keyzie:You? Yes. Yeah, right. A lot of people bang on about vaccines, right? You know, you've got to get your vaccines before you go, et cetera, et cetera. Don't worry, man. Don't worry about it. It's a scam. Just trust your body.

26:26Jase:I've already It's big farmer man It's totally big farmer

26:29Keyzie:Ripping you off Just trust your body Makes you look like a fool Yeah totally A sucker So don't bother We probably should have had this yarn like weeks ago Because obviously I leave in three days And so I've already got them Yeah because you want your What you got a hippie Yeah Herpies What else have you got? Yeah What's the other one you've got? Tetanus Yeah tetanus You didn't go rabies? Didn't go rabies Okay Oh well there's a lot of dogs over there People go you know A lot of them are crazy and wild They're cute as, man. And you love dogs. I do love dogs. Yeah, yeah, okay. Hey, now also money.

27:01Keyzie:What are you doing with money? Because a lot of people say get a Wise Card or something like that so you can get your money out overseas. That's bullshit. Just get all the money you're going to spend that you're planning to spend in Vietnam. Get it all out before you go over there. Put it in your bum bag and just carry it around with you. Are you getting a bum bag? I've got a bag to walk around with. It's not bum related. Okay, well, you've got to get a bum bag.

27:25Jase:Jason, have you got any dong lying around? Oh, I've got a few dong if you need it. And you've got to – seriously, he's right. You want to put the dong in your bum because that's – because you don't want to get pickpocketed.

27:38Keyzie:Yeah, and the last thing you need, you know, is to go and put your card in there and it gets chewed up. Machines over there are shocking bastards. And if it does happen, though, you reach into your bum bag and you pull out your dong and you – Yeah, you've got your dong on your bum. Now food, of course, Vietnam's favourite, famous for its food. Yes, yeah, really excited for some pho. And the temptation is to go to sort of the cleaner sort of areas and eat there, you know, because of your sort of European upbringing. Go to the filthiest, most disgusting spots you can find on the side of the street there.

28:15Keyzie:There'll often be dogs around, dead carcasses and stuff. You are guaranteed you get the best pho while you're doing that. Do you think I should go to places that have lots of people or rather stick to the lesser known, go find some real secretive sort of spots where no one's there? The filthier the better. And the emptier the better. And the emptier the better, yeah. Yeah, like you find an empty, filthy stall, you order a pho, you pull your dong out of your bum, and it's going to be the best meal of your life thus far. Totally, man. You're going to love it. Are there any concerns you have? No, but if you know any good spots to go to.

28:54Vietnam is good.

28:56Keyzie:Well, then you literally go to Vietnam. Are you listening, man? Vietnam. Or Cambodia. He's just been to Cambodia. Is that in Vietnam? That advice will double for Vietnam. It's next to Vietnam. Yeah, it's close enough. He just wanted another spot. It's the poor man's Vietnam. What? That's racist. Xin Chao's hello, by the way. I'm glad I asked. Yeah, yeah. Hey, cheers, fellas. Is that enough advice for you there, Pugs? Not really. You need more advice. Well, actually, I've got a mate that's spent a lot of time there. Do you mind if we give him a call next and you can have a chat with him as well?

29:27Keyzie:Yeah, sure, Kane. Who's that? Thanks. Well, you'll find out, Keezy. Oh, sorry. The Hauraki Big Show with Jace, Mike and Keezy. Tune in weekdays at four on Radio Hauraki. She had there on the Radio Hauraki Big Show this Thursday evening. Now, Pugs. Hello. We were thinking about, you know, we've just been giving you advice about Vietnam, and we thought, my God, what about Dez Dalgette? Because I'm pretty sure Dez has spent a fair amount of time in Vietnam. Ah, true. So we gave him a call and said, would he mind giving you some advice? He's on the line now, I believe. G'day, Dez. How's life?

30:03Jase:G'day, Dez.

30:04Keyzie:Yeah, g'day, mate. How you doing, brother? Yeah, very well, thanks, mate. To yourself? Yeah, can't complain, mate. Can't we? How about the price of bloody petrol, mate? Oh, I know. Don't get me started. Are they here for Ruth? It's out of control, Dez. G'day, man. Keezy here. Is that you, Christopher, is it? Yeah, it's me, mate. Hope you're well. You went out for dinner last night, didn't you? You little dirty bastard. Old muddy bags. Keezy there, Dez. I went out to a restaurant. I don't know why that makes me dirty, Dez. Dez, listen. We've got Pugsan in the studio with us, mate. He's going to Vietnam next week for three weeks.

30:40Keyzie:You got any advice for the young fella, a man of your experience? Oh, James, you're not going to know yourself, mate, eh? But I tell you what, it's bloody beautiful over here, eh? Oh, cheers, Diz. Oh, no, I'm really excited. The food's bloody good. Shut up. The food's bloody good, eh? You've got to get it there, but you've got to be careful as well, eh? Right, right. You've got to be careful over there, mate, when you're travelling in Asia. And just any other places? Asia specifically? Or just anywhere, really, in the world, you've got to be careful, right? Yeah, I mean, but A's your A because it's a little bit different, eh?

31:16Really? It's a little bit different. Yeah, in a good way, in a good way, Dez. You've got to be careful, eh? Have you got any recommendations for just, you know, keeping safe over there? You've got to rubber up, James. You've got to rubber up, mate. And can I say, wrap it once, wrap it twice. Yeah, twice. That's what I always did anyway. No, but like, sorry, Dez, I think.

31:40Keyzie:Like layering up. Yeah, well, yeah, that's bloody good advice, actually, Parkson, given your inclinations. I was over there in the 70s, hey, the early 70s, mate. We were over there and I was giving it to Charlie, mate. We were over there and I was absolutely giving it to Charlie. Who's Charlie? He was a boyfriend of mine at the time, mate. Oh, right, right, right. Well, one thing leads to another, and next thing you know, mate, you got the drip.

32:05Jase:All right, well, you got that sort of safety covered. Dears, what about personal safety? Oh, no, they're a very peaceful people, eh? You don't have to worry about them too much, mate. Just keep your wits about you, eh, pugs? Just keep your wits about you, all right? Yeah, yeah. Don't get too pissed up because I know what you're like. You're a mad dog on the old firewater there, James, aren't you? You can't help yourself. You get a couple of drinks and then it's a couple of more and before you know it, you're cracked out again, haven't you? I don't know where you heard that one, Dez, but... Oh, I gave him a call after your party the other day, Pugs.

32:42Oh, my God, Jason was saying, you're a shocking bastard, mate.

32:44Keyzie:Yeah, he is, Dez. You're a shocking bastard. Are you? Well, thanks, Dez. We've run out of time, mate. Good on you, man. Thanks, Dez. That's been super helpful for Pugs. He's travelling this weekend. He is a bit nervous, mate. So thank you very much for your time and your expertise. Have you got all your shots, James? Yeah, I got a couple of shots, actually. We appreciate your help, mate. Cheers, Dez. We'll talk to you next time, Dez. Cheers, mate. Cheers, Dez. All right, fellas. Anyway, I've got to go, eh? All right, mate. Bloody wife told me, hey. All right. We'll talk soon, Des. Thanks, mate.

33:10Well, literally. Thanks, mate. Hey, coming up next on the show, fellas, another opportunity. I'm a bit worried about that party, the dirty bastard.

33:19Jase:Des, you've got to hang up, man. Sorry, he's forgotten. He's still there. He hasn't hung up again. He's a scumbag.

33:27The Hauraki Big Show, weekdays from four on Radio Hauraki.

33:31Keyzie:Nirvana there on the Radio Hauraki Big Show this Thursday evening. We've got Manas Stewart on the phone from the Hodaki Breakfast Show. G'day, Manas, you're back, Ben. How's life? G'day, fellas. You know, life's been better this morning, I'll tell you that for nothing. Yeah, you're sounding a bit seedy, to be honest, mate. Hung over again, brother. Nah, yeah. Lost my voice in the mosh pit at Lincoln Park last night. Yeah, right. So the reason we've got you on, Manas, there's a few things we need to tackle. First of all, you are one of the biggest Lincoln Park Punishers. You're the second biggest Lincoln Park Punisher I know.

34:04Was it a childhood sort of dream going to see them last night? Yeah, it was. I wouldn't have minded seeing them at Chester, but the new girl's pretty good. The thing is, you know, you're in the mosh pit going hell for leather as you'd know, Jase.

34:17Keyzie:Yeah, totally, man. But then they play some of the new stuff and everyone just sort of stops and just sways around for a bit. Yeah.

34:25Jase:Well, Heavy is the Crown was one. We had a few spies at the gig last night, Mania, and they said that during that song they looked over and saw you and you just had tears streaming down your face. You were absolutely loving it. Yeah, all the night long, there was about 20 ,000 people in that thing, just angsty teenagers all taken straight back. You would have been a Linkin Park fan. I did. Well, I saw them with Chester in 2013 and I tell you what, just going and seeing them with this new singer would have been sacrilegious, I thought. I thought any real fan of the band would not go and see them with this.

35:00Jase:Yeah, that's why I didn't go, man.

35:03Keyzie:Yeah, because they changed the singer. I was too young in 2015. I was only about 10. Yeah, right, right. Look, the other reason we've got you on, Mani, is that you and Jerry tomorrow are heading over to Australia for your wellness retreat. Can you just explain, what is wellness?

35:20Jase:What is wellness? Yeah, you've got me on the wrong day to explain that, mate. I couldn't tell you.

35:25Keyzie:Tell me, are you doing the show tomorrow? No. Are you doing the show on Monday? No. And that, to me, fellas, is wellness. There you go. 100%. So are you doing yoga and stuff? Because Jase is under the impression that you're just getting on the piss the whole time. No, Jase, we wouldn't do that kind of thing, mate. We've got yoga booked in, a bit of beachfront yoga. We've got a breathwork workshop. Right. And then the wires are kicking off at three. Yeah, right.

35:56Jase:You'll need to do a bit of breathwork after being exhausted from yoga. won't you? Yeah, you definitely know so. But the thing is, breath work for Minaya is just punching durries though. I know what he's doing here. Is he on the durries? Is he? You can probably hear it. Minaya, are you on the durries, man? No. Well, funnily enough, I wasn't last night because he's stuck inside of the bloody gig. Oh, yeah, yeah. My voice this morning. Yeah, good stuff, man. Look, one last thing before we let you go, man. Hell of a spread you put on Instagram the other day. You and Jerry there, great photo. Specimen.

36:28You shirtless, man. You got the yoppers out. How do you feel a couple of days later? Yeah, no, good. Good. It's real good. It's real good for your mental health, posting yourself naked on the internet, Casey. Yeah, 100%, man. Well, look, we'll let you go. You seem busy. Thanks, man. You go back to Dave.

36:43Jase:Yes, you sound absolutely shy. Oh, hey, before you do go, how many buzzies out of five do you give the Lincoln Park gig? Out of how many? Five. Four buzzies out of five.

36:56Keyzie:Wow. Yeah, even with the new singer. Interesting. Interesting, interesting. Yeah, he was off his head. Hey, Manon, good on you, mate. You have a good trip over there in Australia, you poor bastard. Cheers, fellas. Well earned. Good on you, mate. And speaking of Linkin Park, may as well go into some right now. The Hauraki Big Show with Jace, Mike and Kesey. Tune in weekdays at four on Radio Hauraki. Welcome back. The Big Show. Magic round three. Let's put another mad bastard on the bed. No, bugger that, fellas. Let's put three of the bastards on the bench. G'day, Chris. How's life? Bloody good, mate.

37:33Keyzie:Bloody good. Good on you, mate. You had a good Thursday? Yeah, have a great Thursday, mate. Oh, good stuff, mate. And what do you do for a crust? Head of operations. Oh. Head honcho. Big dog. What kind of operations? Not one that will fix those nips of Keezes.

37:51Jase:Yay. A little plastic surgery joke for your nips. You get it, man? I was going to say. I was going to say head of downstairs operations.

37:59Keyzie:Oh. And Chris, obviously you love your book, my league, mate. Absolutely love the wires, mate. Yeah, great. All right, well, you're in the draw there, Chris. All right, good luck, brother. Too good. Thanks a lot. Good stuff, man. Love you, mate. G'day, Bridget. How's life? Hello. Yeah, not too bad. Yeah, that's nice. That's nice. What do you do for a cross, Bridget? I'm a mum and also studying. Oh, you're a backbone. That's what you're studying. Massive backbone. And do you love your rock ball league there, Bridget? Yeah, I don't mind watching the males running around.

38:38Jase:It's a sexual thing. That's disgusting. Having a perv. Come on, Bridget. Come on, man. Who's your favourite player?

38:48Probably.

38:51Jase:What's his name again? He's real hot. Yeah, I was going to say. Johnson. Sean Johnson, yeah. Is that because he's hot or a good player? Both.

39:00Keyzie:Okay, yeah, nice. Johnson by name. Good on you, Bridget. You stay on the line and Pugs will put you in the draw as well. Good luck. G'day, Sam, you mad bastard. How's life? Yeah, g'day, fellas. Yeah, great. Yeah, good. Get on yourself. You get it, mate. Sam gets it.

39:14Jase:Who's the sexiest rugby league player, man? Oh, it's got to be Charlie Gubb. Yeah, he's got to be Charlie. That red voice on the radio. Oh, I know.

39:24Keyzie:He's a hot man. He's pretty horrendous looking, I would have thought. No, no, he's an Australian. Are you kidding me, James?

39:29Jase:Have you seen him in person?

39:30Keyzie:He's been beaten up a fair bit, old Gubby.

39:33Jase:He'll beat you up, man. He pushes it out as good as he gets, I'll tell you that. I'd like him to try, Kizzy.

39:38Keyzie:Sam, obviously I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. Yeah, yeah, totally. Just quickly, Sam, what do you do for a crust, brother? I'm a tippy. Oh, you're a backbone. You're a backbone. Good on you, mate. Will you stay on the line as well? Pugs will look after you. Good luck. Love you, fellas. Thanks, man. Love you too, Sam. What is Magic Round? It is three excellent nights in Brisbane at Suncorp Stadium. Every single team in the NRL playing together. It is a massive party the entire weekend. We are going, thanks to our mates, at boystrip.co.nz. If you just want to guarantee your spot on the trip, go to the same functions as us, sit in the same area as us, just go to boystrip.co.nz and book a package there.

40:18Yes. Or you can try your luck and try getting there for free and listen out and call 0800 at Hauraki when you hear that cue to call.

40:25Keyzie:Great stuff, mate. In the meantime, oh, Jesus, takes me back to my blue light discos. The Hauraki Big Show with Jace, Mike and Keezy. Tune in weekdays at 4 on Radio Hauraki. Welcome back, you massive backbones. Hope you're having a fantastic Thursday evening. You're listening to The Big Show, by the way, brought to you by Toledo's. From work days to workouts, Toledo's natural electrolyte drink keeps you balanced, refreshed, and ready to go. Yay! Tip it down your gullet.

40:58Jase:Now you're drinking. Where can I get Toledo's, Keezy? Mogi. Mogi. Mogi. Such a great question, man. Fresh choice nationwide. Oh, sweet. Also rolling it out at various New Worlds and Pack and Saves across the country. It is a growing... I just want to have it delivered to my house. Oh, fine. toledos.co.nz. Thank you.

41:23Keyzie:Beautiful stuff. Actually, I took one home with me last night because she was quite a hot evening and I was just sucking on that on the way home. It really refreshed me. Which flavour was it? Tropical, blue, citrus or grape? It was citrus, which is my personal favourite, by the way. For those

41:37Jase:in the nose, it's Toledo's. Because it's got the word nose in it.

41:43Keyzie:Two buzzies out of ten. Why are you the guy who's judging all the taglines? How many would you give it, Keezy? For some reason, it's out of ten now. but I give it four buzzies out of a possible five.

41:53Jase:Great, thank you, man. What a greaser.

41:57Keyzie:Hey, now, coming up, I had an absolute debacle with Uber Eats last night. We'll be chatting about that. But in the meantime, here's Incubus. The Hauraki Big Show, weekdays from four on Radio Hauraki. Super grass there on the Radio Hauraki Big Show this Thursday evening. The time is 12 minutes past six o 'clock. And last night, fellas, I ordered Uber Eats. My wife, as you know, is doing a play at the moment. And often, you know, when I come home from work, she will have cooked the meal. And I'm being a bit of a lazy ass of late. I've just been getting takeaways. And I don't usually get Uber Eats.

42:34Keyzie:I usually, because I'm in the CBD now, I just go out on the town and I find somewhere and I buy it.

42:42Keyzie:And I buy it in the CBD. But last night I just couldn't be asked. Now, what I'm about to tell you is a shockingly true story. Because I'm already annoyed because you are so close to so many things. I know. You're literally less than a five-minute walk. It's good. I know, but I've done it every other night, Kesey. But that night, last night, I was just like, and I've been doing a lot of walking that day anyway. So I was pretty tired. I was pretty pooped. So I ordered some Uber Eats and it's like, blah, blah, blah. That's great. And then it's like, such and such is on his way. So it said blah, blah, and then it said such and such.

43:18You know, it's been picked up, he's on his way. I'm like, great.

43:22Keyzie:And so I'm sitting there, and then when he's about a minute away from the apartment, I go, okay, and I go down onto the, out the front door of the apartment.

43:32Jase:I'm just picturing you there picking up the phone, you see he's a minute away, and then you say to yourself, okay. Okay. Here we go.

43:41Keyzie:I do, actually, yeah. Because I said to him, you know, I'll wait out the front so he doesn't have to go through the palaver of trying to find my apartment. So I was standing on the pavement one minute to go, and then I literally get a message from him, and he says, sorry, mate, wrong turn. I'll be another 10. And I'm like, that seems like a long time for a wrong turn. I went, all good, mate. Walked back up to the apartment. Ten minutes goes, and he's about a minute away. I go down again, out onto the pavement. Is the second time you're like, okay? No, I didn't say that that time. Okay, right. So I'm standing on the pavement and he says, I'm here.

44:18Keyzie:And I went, okay.

44:20Jase:Oh, there it is. There it is there.

44:22Keyzie:And he says, I kid you not, he goes, where are you? And I said, in front of the apartment. This is such and such, right? This is the such and such fella. Yeah. And he went, oh, okay. Nothing for two or three minutes. Had you looked at your phone at the map at that point? Yeah, I was looking at the map, but he'd just sort of parked up somewhere and I couldn't quite figure out what he was doing. Right. So two or three minutes passed, no response, and I went, all good? And he went, yes, sorry, mate, my Google Maps is packed up. And I went, okay. Third one. And then a few more minutes passed, and I said, are you coming?

45:01Keyzie:And he said, where are you? And I said, in front of my apartment. And I shit you not, he said, where's your apartment? And I said, the address I sent you. And he went, oh, right. See you in a few minutes. And what did you say? I went, okay. Yeah, good. Okay. Yeah, double that. And I'm getting effing and jeffing at this stage. You're getting effing and jeffing. Is it bugging you? It was bugging me. It's me, I'm bugging me. And this I'm telling you is what happened. It's true. And then he goes, I'm in front of the apartment. And I said, no, you're not, because I'm standing in front of the apartment and I can't see you.

45:44Keyzie:And he goes, oh, okay. And I said, whereabouts on the road are you on our street? And he said, I'm at the top. And I said, the apartment's down the bottom. And he went, oh, yeah, sorry, mate. My Google Maps is crapping out. And I was like, right. You should have said okay. A few more minutes passed. I kid you not. and I'm looking for a car because I've got a number plate and stuff. And I went, are you coming? And I shit you not. He said, I'm in the park. And I was like, why are you in the park? And he said, that's where my Google Maps took me. And I said, why would my apartment be in the park?

46:36Keyzie:And he went, yeah, sorry, I'll find you. And then he went, oh, hang on, I see you. Stay there. And then he came and he delivered my pad thai. And he was, oh, sorry, mate. It was a bit of a disaster. Just an absolute shambles. But you know the ridiculous thing about it. Good pad thai, by the way, fellas. Cold as. Yeah, it wasn't hot, but I put it in the microwave for a while. It wasn't only okay. It was okay. You know the ridiculous thing, and this is what I do all the time, I still gave him a five-star review. because I can't bring myself to go, he was useless and a complete idiot.

47:14Jase:Well, you know, every now and again you run into those sorts of blokes and you go, you know, I've never met this bloke, but there's something about him. He reminds me of me. Yeah, maybe. The Hauraki Big Show with Jase, Mike and Keezy. Tune in weekdays at four on Radio Hauraki.

47:30Keyzie:The Black Crows there on the Radio Hauraki Big Show this Thursday. evening. The time is 6.24 and this, God, it's a beautiful night, isn't it, fellas? Certainly is, Jase. Look at that sun, but right now it's time for Today This is Keezy. Usually it'd be what's on the news with me, Keezy, but something's wrong with the system, it keeps deleting our stuff. So the stings disappeared. I don't know if that's anything to do with you guys.

48:00Jase:This place has fallen apart at the seams. But I know that you guys don't like this segment, so it's well Jase does it I wouldn't say that I hate it well then why are we

48:13Keyzie:I despise it

48:15Jase:really? because it's you've got to have your own thing Kesey and I think it's a work on it doesn't mean it can't be great what my own thing just means that so far it's been you know okay well how about this alright give me another chance today this is going to be the best what's on the news with me Kesey I think the only way to do it is you've got to do it every single day for the rest of the year ah okay Take it or leave it. All right, here we go. This is going to be the best one we've ever done. What's on the news? With me, Casey. Pugs found it. Is that the news? No, I was just saying, he found the sting and it's back now.

48:53Fuel. Rhinos. Oh, God. What do you mean, oh, God?

48:59Jase:I thought they were extinct, aren't they all dead? God. All I said was one word. Can we just get on? I'm trying. Why have we got all of these animals?

49:06Keyzie:If this has got to do with rhino's hearing, I will be fuming. Rhinos have been reintroduced to the Kidipo Valley National Park. The what? For the first time in over 40 years. Kidipo. It's K-I-D-E-P-O. Why, what did you think I said? Nothing. The last, and we're specifically talking about white rhinos. Racist. Racist.

49:35The last rhino there was killed in 1983. White rhino killed. Good riddance.

49:46Poachers, obviously killing them for their meat, but mostly for their horns. Yeah. For their ivory to make rhino powder.

49:53Jase:I reckon rhino would be really tough, Mogi. Yeah, you've got to get it from the right place, certainly. The white rhino, of course, is a great coloniser. Of Africa. Well, a rhino. Yeah. Shocking bastards. Really? Oh, yeah. Two southern white rhinos were transported to the park. The first of eight rhinos that have been specifically bred to reintroduce them. You watch, it'll get gentrified now. All the locals left. Yeah, they have to move out. Well, because some white rhinos have moved in. Yes. Snobby bastards. Uganda once had around 700 white rhinos. Did you gander at them? Moggy I would if there was one nearby I'd probably have a gander in it yes Uganda once had around 700 white rhinos but they became extinct in the wild due to poaching and instability

50:43Keyzie:well obviously were they unstable I don't yeah they can't have become extinct because here they are again no because they've been wiped out but Kenya donated some and specifically bred them because they're endangered in Kenya as well right specifically bred them to reintroduce them to Uganda, specifically in the Kedipo Valley National Park. What?

51:05Jase:Yeah, careful. Careful with that. I think what I'm finding with all of these news items is that it makes no difference to me. Yes, there's a very deep I don't care factor to it. Yeah, and it's like, whether it's happened or not, I just get on with my life regardless. It's by the by to me, Kesey. Do you want me to hit you with some real hard-hitting stuff that's going to affect your life? Well, just something that's interesting would be good. Well, I mean, the white rhinos are back. But they already were there, just not 100 miles from where they already were. No, that's... You see what I'm saying?

51:39Jase:Yeah, totally. So they were in Kenya, and now they've gotten a truck. Now they're somewhere else. Yeah, that would be... White rhinos go for a ride on a truck. I mean, I don't know why I would care about that. Yeah. To be honest, if there was an article about white rhinos going for a ride on a truck, I'd probably...

51:53Keyzie:This whole segment's on thin ice, man. Okay, give me another chance tomorrow. I look forward to it. The Hauraki Big Show, weekdays from four on Radio Hauraki. Oasis there on the Radio Hauraki Big Show this Thursday evening.

52:09Jase:Fellas, Birdshit Chris, which is the name of my cat and also the childhood nickname of Keezy. Not my childhood. It was one week in high school. Everyone remembers it, though. It's that time. Jess, I don't know if you've heard about this, but this bird shat all over Keezy. That's not the story. So you're getting, this is by the by. Do you mind, man? I'm trying to tell this yarn about bird shit, Chris. Okay, cool. You're okay. You go. We were meant to have it de-sexed today. It's desperate to get outside and play. Yeah. We've had it for a couple of, oh, jeez, almost three months now. Wow. But before you can let it out, you have to de-sex them because otherwise the local toms get a hold of them.

52:49Jase:Yes. You know what I'm saying. I do. So anyway, I was on the phone to the vet yesterday booking it in and booked it in for this morning, 10 past 8. You have to leave it with the vet all day long because they go on a general anaesthetic and then they get desexed. They get their sexed deed. That's not what that means. Desexed. It means they get – for the female cat, how does it work? They remove the ovaries. Oh, wow. Okay. and then you get them back at the end of the day. They're a bit woozy, as you can imagine. Yes. So then they have to stay inside for another 10 days after that. Oh, wow. So because you can't – because the big problem with them is they don't realise that they should take it easy.

53:37Jase:Like they don't put their feet up and just watch a bit of telly. They're just still running around, you know, like mad bastards. Anyway, I got to get the cat this morning to take it to the vet. Gone burger. Oh, no. Can't find it anywhere. look in the back, it was outside with my daughter, but the cat just loves staying in the garden. Doesn't go out on the footpath, doesn't go to the neighbours, nothing like that. Gone, absolutely gone, not in its usual places. I'm walking up and down the street, can't find it at all, and it's done a runner for the first time. Oh, no. And I think to myself, I remember back, you see, and when I was on the phone to the vet, I can remember looking over, and the cat was underneath the dining room table and was looking at me and listening in on my conversation with the vet.

54:25Jase:And every time I'd look over at the cat, bird shit Chris, they would quickly turn its head away and pretend it wasn't looking. Yeah, right. Yes. Nothing going on. Just start looking at its claws on one of its paws. Yes. Really? Investigating them. Really? But cats can't, I mean, how is your cat, they can't understand English anyway? Well, they do though, don't they? Because, for example, if you say to a cat, here, bird shit, Chris, here, bird shit, Chris. You've got to rename that cat, man. You have to rename the cat. Then it comes over to you. Then it comes around. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, but that's just because you're beckoning it, you know?

54:59It's not because it speaks English.

55:00Jase:But you're saying that it makes sense that a cat now understands beckoning. Beckoning. Yeah, because it understands the word. So as soon as it heard de-sexed, ovaries. Bird shit, Chris. under the knife, general anaesthetic, all that sort of stuff. Yeah, yeah. It thought to itself, I'm out of here. I'm out of here. And then so eventually managed to track it down. It was halfway down Ponsonby Road, had a knapsack over its back. The Hauraki Big Show with Jase, Mike and Keezy. Tune in weekdays at four on Radio Hauraki.

55:46Keyzie:There you go, you mad bastards. That's the big show done and dusted for your Thursday night. Make sure you tune in tomorrow, by the way. The Friday thrubber is back, baby, and it's good. What's the podcast outro clip today, Keezy? Today's podcast outro clip was about how Jase is in a hurry of a mood.

56:03Jase:What I like is that you've got a new shirt on. No, it's not a new shirt. That is a brand new shirt. I've never seen that shirt.

56:12Keyzie:F***ing no start with that bullshit. Why is that?

56:15Jase:It's so funny. It's so good to have two things. One is that you get f***ed off by, you've got a new shirt, and then the other thing is you've had a haircut. And it makes you angry. I have not had a haircut. It is crazy. But also, why does it matter that, yes, you've got a new shirt? I just don't get it.

56:39Keyzie:I'm not even going to indulge you bastards. Mogey, you've got some coming over for dinner.

56:46Jase:I've got a dinner party tonight, man. One of the actors on the books is coming over and a mate from down Dunedin. Do you know Tim Foley? Yes. Yeah, Tim Foley. He's coming over. He's working on a little movie there. And yeah, so we'll be having... I told my wife last minute. Right. So God knows what she's going to put on the table. Good Lord. Kesey What are you having for dinner tonight man? What's that man?

57:17Keyzie:She's making a delicious curry A little fish number What was that Jase? What are you having for dinner? My wife texts through We don't have any plans She's like oh crap What do you want for dinner tonight? Lamb chops Yeah She's got the sandwich She just always suggests lamb chops It's like you with your pork mints Yeah Does she really?

57:36Jase:It's like me with the pork mints Yeah she's obsessed with lamb chops Isn't that odd? Who's obsessed with lamb chops? I know. That is the weirdest thing. We used to have lamb chops a lot when I was a kid. My mother would cook the bejesus out of them. Yeah. You get a very, and the part that I liked was that the fat would be really toasted and fried, you know. Yes, caramelized. Because she's cooked the shit out of it. Yes. So I like that, but the rest of it would have shriveled up into a tiny morsel, you know. Yeah, one bite. Yeah, totally. They're an annoying bit of meat.

58:05Keyzie:They are. So instead we're having roast lamb rump. Yeah. What are you doing tonight, Jase? What are you eating? A baguette with salami and cheese on it? Yes, and avocado. Yum. Are you? Yes. I can't be arsed. That's okay. Oh, bachelor life. Yeah. Yeah, I reckon at the moment. I spent all this money on a new shirt, man. That's why. Now, listen, make sure you check out the podcast. Make sure you check out the Instagram account. Till tomorrow. See you later. Bye.