FULL SHOW: Hoytey J's Euro Summer Special

18:09Keyzie:Netflix. Oh, yeah. A rising star restaurateur is forced into New York's criminal underground when his chaotic brother returns to town with lone sharks on his trail. Starring the fantastic Jason Bateman. Oh, yes. Love him. From Arrested Development. Ozark. He's a very easy-to-watch actor, I must say. He's very likeable. Jude Law. Oh, how hot. And I think it must be pretty recent because I only just sort of noticed it on the old Netflix there. Now, can I say this? It's good, but it's a bit style over substance. It's all very hip and sexy. Right, okay. But it's not amazing. Right. It's adequate. Right.

19:01Keyzie:It's there. Even though you've got two really good actors there, you know, and Jude Law's looking very saucy and steamy in his outfits and quite hot and that, you know, and people probably find him quite a good-looking fella and all that sort of stuff. And Bateman's always a very good actor, but I sort of feel a little bit in the series that he's kind of playing the same kind of dude. He always plays the same guy, really. He really kind of does. He's very good at it. He also directs a lot of it, along with a lot of people from Ozark, actually, that were in Ozark. Look, I'll give it a solid three buzzies out of five.

19:42Three buzzies out of five. It's on Netflix, and it's called Black Rabbit. Yes. Well, why didn't it go off then? It's honestly... Well, as you just said, it's a few whiff. I didn't say it with any sort of hate in my heart or anything. Pugs, what did you watch, man? Hello. So yesterday I watched the entire four-part limited series Adolescence on Netflix.

20:03Keyzie:Oh, of course, because you were throwing up TOEFL all afternoon. No, that was later on in the evening. Oh, right. This morning, actually, Jase. So while I was just chilling on the couch there at my new place, just banged all of that out, it was fantastic. A really, really good watch. I had heard about it when it first came out and really trailblazed last year, but obviously all the Emmy buzz kind of got me back on the train, and so I gave it a go, and it was honestly gut-wrenching stuff. Fantastic television, great performances. Obviously the long takes are a really big part of it, like 35-minute long scenes done in one go.

20:35Yes. With a kid who's like a young teenager acting it out.

20:38Keyzie:Well, the entire episode is one go. Yeah, but there are a few where they, I think, do some magical stuff, if I'm not mistaken from what I've read. You are mistaken. Oh, I am? Yes. Okay, cool. But that just adds to it because it was really good. Shame, you're mistaken. Can I just say, just on that front, by the way, I really enjoyed it too, Pug-san. It was incredible. But I found my wife particularly and other people getting massively distracted by the fact that it was all in one shot. I was. Because they were sitting there watching it going, oh, no, that can't be one shot. They must have had to cut there.

21:14Keyzie:But actually, no. They were mistaken. They were mistaken like you were. I will say I didn't get distracted by that at all. I thought the first episode was great. Second one dropped off a bit. Third, all-timer, fourth, all-timer. I'd give it 4.2 buzies. 4.2 buzies out of five on Netflix, adolescence. Yeah. Only four episodes. What did you watch? Watch the final episode of season two of Tyres comedy on Netflix with Shane Gillis in it. Didn't realise a few of the actors that are in it are actually just some of his comedian mates. It ended, there's a couple of episodes that in the second season I thought were pretty average.

21:49Ended really well though, sets it up nicely for season three. It's just great. As I've said, having another mindless comedy just to watch. And I'm a bit sad that it's finished, actually. Four buzzies out of five.

21:59Keyzie:Have you watched Adolescence? No. Why? Because I'll have to watch it on my own because my wife won't be into it. It'll be too intense for her. What? What? Don't just... That's fine, man. If it's too intense for her, Keezy, that's fine. Yeah, it is. It is. Coming up after five o 'clock, by the way, another chance to get yourself in the draw to join us over in Fiji. Get ready to call 0800-HAURAKI. Plus, Jase, I need your help with a fence if that's okay. Well, just on that front, I need your fella's help with something as well that sort of struck me over the weekend. And I'm not talking about my urinary tract infection.

22:35The Hauraki Big Show with Jase, Mike and Kesey. Tune in weekdays at 4 on Radio Hauraki.

22:41Keyzie:Yeah, welcome back, you massive backbones. Hope you're surviving your Monday afternoon. You're listening to The Big Show brought to you by Reburger. Beef, chicken, vegan and veg-o options. Reburger, redefining the norm. Yum, yum, yum, yum, yum, yum, yum, yum, yum. Yeah, man. Do you have any Reburger on your holiday, Chase? Well, this is the crazy thing. We didn't. It was just so action-packed. I didn't really have time for food. Not much of a holiday then, is it, without Reburger? Well, no. I mean, Reburger's more of a regular thing, whereas a holiday, you know, we had a lot going on, actually, fellas, in that regard.

23:14To be fair, you only talked us through the first day. Yeah. You beat off twice and played golf. No, Kesey. And then went to the batch.

23:22Keyzie:Please, can you not be so filthy? I made vigorous love. Vigorous. And then I beat off. Ah. But your wife wasn't there. She wasn't there for the beating off, no. What about the make? Oh, okay. Can we? I feel like you're focusing on the wrong part of the holiday here. Look, Jase, you've told us about 25 % of your holiday and most of it was beating off. I'd love to hear the rest of your holiday. Can we hear about the rest of your holiday? And can we not phrase it like that? It sounds filthy the way you say it, Keezy. Well, you said vigorously having a go at yourself. Thrashing was the word you used as well the second time.

23:57Yes.

23:58Keyzie:Yeah, well, I was quite happy to carry on with it. Then pugs cut me off. Four minutes in. Well, what we'll do, Jase, is we'll go to some... Oh, this is a... A song? Yeah, called Vaseline. Sounds like you could probably use some after your holiday. And then why don't you get us up to date with what you did on the other three days? Sure, man. We'll do that next. Sounds good. Also, keep an ear out for that Fiji Q2 call. Another one's going to be happening soon. Get ready to call 0800 Hauraki. The Hauraki Big Show with Jace, Mike and Keezy. Tune in weekdays at four on Radio Hauraki. David Bowie there on the Radio Hauraki Big Show this Monday afternoon.

24:34Keyzie:Now, I was talking about my whirlwind holiday that I had last week. So we established, by the way, fellas, first day, golf in the morning. Then we took off to the family batch. Incidentally, at the end of the night there, my wife and I played a bit of David Bowie and had a bit of a boogie. Vigorous, would you say? No, it was pretty relaxed and chill. And then you went to bed at 8.30. Went to bed at 8.30. Then it got vigorous and then I fell asleep. Okay, so, Jason, you need to stop mentioning the parts where everything gets vigorous and you either make love or have a go at yourself, right? Sure.

25:06Keyzie:Do you want me to specify which one I'm doing? No, no, no, just neither is fine. I think just concentrate on the actual holiday stuff. So then... So it's Friday morning. Friday morning, as is the case when you're at the batch, awoken by the sound of the ocean plunging against the rocks there. So I wake up, big yawn. Thrashed myself mercilessly. Jase. What? We don't need this part. I just want like a layout of... I'm just letting you know what I was, you know, the whole vibe of me. That's why I had to cut you off in the last one because we ran out of time. Well, hang on. I feel like you're overcompensating by mentioning this so often and it's actually, in fact, the opposite is true.

25:48Keyzie:Certainly not the opposite. If anything, I'm downplaying it. So what did you do after that? So then I got completely nude, as is my want, because... So you weren't nude already? This has nothing to do with sexuality whatsoever because there was no one at the bay. It was a Friday morning, there was no one there. Tide was full, got nude, went for an ocean plunge. Right, just you? Yes, just me. What was your wife doing? It's none of your business, Keezy. Then what did you do, man? Came back, made a little stove pot coffee. Oh, I thought I was going to say made a little love. No, no, there was no lovemaking there.

26:26Keyzie:Then I had a shower because it was pretty chilly. Had a go at myself in the shower. Wait, hang on, wait, wait, wait, wait. So you hop out of the ocean, you're cold, right? Yes. You then make a coffee. Yes. Then you have a shower. Yeah. And have a go at yourself. Yes. So you just left yourself cold while you had your coffee. While you had your coffee. It seems weird. Well, because I love the feeling of the hot coffee going down me there. Then we went for a walk along the beach. Right. But the tide was in. Yeah, it had gone out by then. Oh, okay. Yeah, yeah. Must have been a long coffee. Right to the point.

26:58Keyzie:And actually to the point from our batch is about 8K there and about 8K back. 16K. 16K walk along the beach there. Wow. I've been there. It only seems like it's one or two. Chase, I've walked to that point too. Then I got on the kayak and went out and just had a bit of quiet time on the ocean there. Do you have your togs on? Nah. If you say you had a go at yourself with a kayak. Don't be filthy, Gizzie. Okay, good. What kind of animal does that? So you didn't? No. Wait, what? Then got back to the back. We spent the day there. It was beautiful on the Friday. Got home. Just chilled out, actually.

27:37Keyzie:So you're back at home now. Because it had been all go, got home. It had been all what? It had been all go up until that point. Got home, went to bed, probably 10-ish. Yeah. Made love and then fell asleep. Woke up the next day. So it's Saturday now. Saturday. Yeah, boy, it's flying by this holiday. You just had home at this point. Yeah, I'm just at home. Yeah, yeah. Woke up, made my wife a coffee. Did you overboil the milk? Yes. Yeah, she only drank about a third of it. Then I took my wife to a beautiful lunch on Waiheke Island. Oh, nice. Did you shout? No, it was mates of ours. It was their wedding anniversary.

28:19Keyzie:Oh, they paid for it. I'd never have gone over there if they weren't paying. Yeah, nice. It's a rip off. Ah, beautiful day. And then we spent the night in town, booked a hotel there. I won't get into the details. Let's just say there was a lot of love, mate. Okay, I've heard about enough of Jase's holiday. Sounds great, man. I'm only halfway there, Keezy. Nah, nah, you're not. I think you're done, man. Oh, Foo Fighters, this is a tune. The Hauraki Big Show with Jace, Mike and Keezy. Tune in weekdays at four on Radio Hauraki. The Killers here on the Radio Hauraki Big Show this Monday afternoon.

28:55Keyzie:The time, 5.24. Fellas, just a reminder that this Friday will be your last chance to win a$2 ,500 worth of kit from tradetester.co.nz to kit out your deck for summer. Big deck energy. If you are keen on that, head to hodaki.co.nz, get yourself in the draw, we could be calling you. Very quickly, how was the winner on Friday? The winner on Friday was excellent. Stoked? Stoked, absolutely. Great chat. Had done that thing where he'd gone to tradetested.co.nz, put together his cart. Yeah, nice. And it added up to like$1 shy of$2 ,500. Oh, how good. So you want to do it. Just incidentally, I think we're going to get a chance to do a test run of what we would get from Tradetested and bang that up on the Insta there.

29:34Wow. So have a gaze, fellas. That's exciting. Hey, fellas, actually just on sort of renawing and shit. Yeah. I've got a favour to ask of you actually, Jase. Sure, man. Have you got anything on this weekend? You mean clothes-wise? No, not clothes-wise. Like, have you got any activities planned this weekend? No, not at this point, man. Have you got to spare, like, two hours just to give me a hand with something? Sure. Because basically, it's a bit awkward, but I've organised for, like, a trailer and I've bought some sledgehammers and stuff. and I need to get rid of this fence that's on our property.

30:10Oh, okay, yeah, yeah. Telling my wife that I'll do it for ages, and I was like, sweet, I'll definitely do it. I've forgotten. I promised my parents I'd be going home to Tauranga this weekend. Oh, right, okay. Because we're going out for dinner. Oh, yes. And I was like, it's quite a fun job, though. You get to just smash it up. A bit of demo? Yeah. Yeah, yeah, man. Chris, I'm not doing anything either this weekend if you need a hand. Oh, that's very nice of you pugs. No, you're a young fella. You've probably got lots on, man. You've got your new house. He's got very soft, sort of arty hands. Yeah, and he's probably doing a bit of pottery or something.

30:39What's that, man? Yeah. What did you say? No, good point. No, Pugs, you're a good man. You're a young fella. You've got lots on. You've got your soft, arty sort of hands as well. Is that what he was saying? You just have the weekend off. You've been working hard. Jase, you're keen, though, because I'd pay you.

30:53Keyzie:Yeah. Oh, okay. Yeah, sweet. I mean, you didn't have to pay me, man. Oh, you actually do because you've got your game of two halves money. That show stopped months ago. But yeah, yeah. I'm into smashing crap. How much, how does, like, I'll give you, it's a three-meter long fence. Yes. You just have to smash it up. Won't take you long at all. Then just chuck the bits on the trailer. Oh, yeah, no worries. And then I'll deal with the trailer when I'm back. Yeah, yeah. It'll take you, like, two hours. Would you do it for, like,$100? No. I'd do it for$100. Seriously, like, I can, like, I'm not doing anything.

31:27No, I don't want you doing it. I wouldn't mind it. How am I? Cut your little soft hands there. I don't want you to cut your little soft hands. Are you whispering to me or? Don't, Casey. Oh, right. I don't want you doing it, Pugs. I just think this is a good job for Jason.

31:40Keyzie:Yeah, he just wants a proper job of it, don't he? Yeah. And I've done a bit of demo work in my time. Yeah. No, not a hundy. Look, let's call it tradie standard hour, 150 an hour. 150 at 300? Yeah. Okay. No, how about this 250? 250 on cash. And a box of beers. 250 and a box of beers. Yeah, deal? Yeah, yeah. Okay, sweet. Did your wife make one of those cakes that she made for us that time too, like a sponge? No. Oh. She's coming to Tauranga with me. Okay. Yeah, yeah. So you're all good to do that? Yeah, no, that's good, mate. Sounds good. Do you have like, you got like work boots in that? Because I don't want you injuring your feet.

32:20Do I look like I don't have work boots? Yes. Yeah. I've got work boots. Okay, cool. They'll be brand new then. We'll get those out of the box for the first time. Use those. Yeah, man. Have you got like, have you still got your COVID masks?

32:32Keyzie:Oh, yeah, got a bit of mask. Wow. Oh, I haven't got any COVID masks. Well, just masks from back in the, you know, when we had to wear masks every now and then. No, I've got a gimp mask. You've got a gimp mask, that'll do. Yeah. I've got COVID masks. He's not asking you, Pugs. I don't want to hate, we've agreed, Jase, you don't want to, trust me, don't. Can you bring in a couple of those mask Pugs just for Jase? Okay, not for me though. No, no, no, you have the weekend off. Yeah, sweet, cool. So you bring that in, Jase, maybe like we're in overall set or something. Yeah, sure, sure. Yeah. And what kind of fence am I sort of?

33:02Oh, it's probably like a metre and a half high. Oh, yeah. Yeah. Bit of two before. Yeah, no, it's made of asbestos.

33:12Keyzie:Okay. The Hauraki Big Show with Jase, Mike and Kesey. Tune in weekdays at four on Radio Hauraki. The Big Show Swingers Club is back. And this time, it's going global. Don't. Don't do it. Jase. Don't set the alarm off. It's been really sensitive today. Hang on. Let me just test it. Bulla. Okay. Maybe try, Jase. Bulla. Racism alert. Racism alert. I don't know what it is. There's something weird going on. I know what it is. What? Bulla Vinaka. Racism alert. No, maybe I wasn't saying the whole... Racism alert. Nah. Well, we'll have to figure that thing out. We are heading to Fiji, though. Fiel is the four of us to the Intercontinental Fiji Golf Resort and Spa.

33:59for a long weekend of teeing off, sunset drinks, relaxation, and general tropical bliss. Does that sound good? Sounds bloody good, actually. Is this the last week of this competition? I have no idea. I think it was maybe going to be that, but Mogi's not here. We need Mogi here. Yeah, I've got no idea. Sorry. Can I say I'm really excited for the fact that we're going to do R &R together because, obviously, we've done a trip before. We've gone to Brizzy and stuff for Magic Round, and that was all systems go. We're looking forward to relaxing. We're just going to do a big old chill. You know, we're just going to be straight chilling, Joe.

34:37Keyzie:Well, no, I'm going to be going hard on the course. Same, I'm going to be going hard. Oh, okay. I'm going to be smacking the crap out of it. On the course? And off the course. And the buffets. Oh. Yeah, yeah. You know the buffet shuts at like 10 a.m., right? So you can't just be at the buffet the whole time. Yeah, but I'll be there at like 5. Oh, till 10. Yeah, yeah, just stuffing my gullet. Because you eat heaps, eh? Yeah, totally. Hey, should we go to the lines there, fearless? Yeah, good idea. Get a gazzle, you mad bastard. How's life? Yeah, good, thanks, Hody J. How are you? Yeah, good, thanks, mate.

35:07Keyzie:Good. What do you do for a crust, gazzle? I'm an environmental consultant. Oh, huge backbone. Backbone. Doing great work, man. Good on you, gazzle. I'm picking that you love a bit of Fiji action, gazzle. Bull of a knuckle. Yeah, yeah. No, that's fine. Don't go off. It's fine. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, nice. And tell me, Gazza, do you play a bit of golf? I try to get around every now and then, Hoody Joe. Yeah, nice, mate. Nice. And who would you bring with you? I'd have to bring my backbone mate, Stanley, who's a massive fan of the fellas. Oh, Stan. Gazza and Stanley. Look out, PG. That's a combo and a half.

35:46Keyzie:Hell yeah. Yeah, good stuff, Gazza. Well, good news, mate. You're in the draw. Stay on the line and Big Dilly will sort you out, all right? Cheers, fellas. Good on you, mate. G'day, Tony, you mad bastard. God. Wait, it's not. It's a popular name, isn't it, old Tony? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Hi, Tony. You there, man? Yeah, man. You know, it's a stallion's name. A stallion's name. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Tony, do any of your shirts have Tony written on it? No. No? I should actually get a uniform because I do lawns and gardening and my company's called Tony's Lawns and Gardens. Tony's Lawns and Gardens. A little plug there for old Tony.

36:22A uniform with the old name on it. Absolutely, man. And if you've got a spare jacket, I'll wear it to work. sweet as can't see that being annoying

36:28Keyzie:it's kind of a loser thing to do anyway put your name on a jacket well he just said he's going to do it Jase now you're calling him a loser yeah for his business yeah right I mean just casual wear I mean what sort of person puts their name on your jacket Jase I didn't pay to have Tony put on my jacket it was already on the jacket alright don't start that young Tony it's funny calling people Tony isn't it do you like playing golf man I haven't played for years but I used to love it you used to love it yeah right okay Tony, mate, I'll be honest with you. I didn't play for 20 years. Now I'm massively addicted again, so you'll love it, mate.

37:01Keyzie:Who will you quickly, quickly, who will you take with you? Oh, it's going to be Toss-Up. Maybe the lovely wife or maybe my best mate. Oh, okay, beautiful. Oh, nice. My wife is my best mate, Tony. You're right, sweet. You're in the draw, man. Big Dilly will sort you out, all right? It's just a true fact, man. My wife is my best mate. Are you saying your wife's not your best mate? Jase, on the radio, are you saying that? Yeah, Jase. Jase. Jase. Jase. Can I have another one of your quickies? My stomach's really hurting there, Pugs, aren't? Your wife's my best mate. Here's Aerosmith. The Hauraki Big Show with Jase, Mike and Kesey.

37:38Tune in weekdays at four on Radio Hauraki.

37:41Keyzie:Yeah, welcome back, you massive backbones. Hope you're surviving Monday. You're listening to The Big Show, brought to you by Ree Burger. Seven good times and good food. Dine-in or takeaway Ree Burger today. Yum. Jase, Pugs and I were just chatting off air just then. Yeah, usually I switch off when you guys do that because it's gamer chat and it's punishing. But it wasn't in this case, right? It was tofu chat. Oh, yeah. You missed out, man. As he walked out of the studio, he was like, oh, my God, I went to this place at the weekend, ordered this amazing tofu dish. It was delicious. And you and I both were like, oh, cool, tofu.

38:12We don't care. Yeah, yes, very much. And now we just had a bit of a conversation there. And he was saying, if you can't make tofu taste good, you're bad at cooking, essentially. That's not what I said at all. What I said, I don't think you're cooking it right. Okay, so if you can't make tofu taste good, you're not cooking it right. I don't think you're cooking it right. So I said to him, all right, cook some tofu for us, bring it in this week, we will eat it on the air, and if it tastes nice, 100%, I will admit to fee and order more tofu.

38:41Keyzie:What he was talking about the fact, Keezy, wasn't he, that he went to this restaurant and he said the tofu was crumbed beautifully. And I was like, I don't give a shit. No, neither. You know what I mean? Even if it's crumbed, it's still got tofu in the middle of it. I just don't know. It's just so weird that you're so closed off. I'm not getting it close. Do you know why I'm closed off on tofu? Because I have tasted it a lot, and it always is just underwhelming. So what I'm excited to taste, probably on Wednesday, let's say, is Pug's coming in and making his special sticky tofu Pug-san, and we get to taste good tofu.

39:14I'm excited.

39:15Keyzie:Yeah, what I was going to say on that front, I'm still waiting for his famous sticky beef. That sounds delicious actually Can you make that? Can you make sticky beef for Wednesday? No, no, no Actually, can I get a side of karagi chicken with that as well? That'd be delicious, man Thank you Green day, man The Hauraki Big Show Weekdays from 4 on Radio Hauraki Tom Petty and the Heartbreakers there on the Radio Hauraki Big Show This Monday evening, the time, 12 minutes past 6 o 'clock Can we do some egg chat, fellas? Sure

40:00So I recently discovered omelettes, right? Yeah, love omelettes. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Been going pretty hard on them.

40:13The issue is I've gone too hard on them. and now when I made one over the weekend before golf on Saturday and I had to like force myself to eat it because I'm a bit omeletted out.

40:28And I was just wondering, do you think there's a way I can salvage this by changing the ingredients that I put in my omelette? Maybe that'll fix things, you know what I mean?

40:38Keyzie:You mean, okay, so what are you putting in it at the moment? You want my omelette ingredients? Not really.

40:50Okay. Mushrooms. Yes. Ham. Am I reading it out or are you?

41:01Ham. Capsicums. And a little bit of potato finely diced. Oh, wow. Just to give you, yeah. What? So many wrong things there. Carry on. I then put chilli oil in and mix that all in and then put a bit of cheese and fold it all into a little nice, little blanket omelette thing. Pancake-y kind of. No, like an omelette. Like a flop over. The hell's a flop over?

41:36And then, so what I do is I've got all the ingredients that I've cooked and I put that off in a little bowl on the side and I put chilli oil with it and stirred that all up. More chilli oil? No, no, no. Just the chilli oil. And then I'm cooking the omelette, the eggs on its own, and then I'll put those ingredients in the omelette and then have like a flop over. Flop over.

42:00Keyzie:You've got weight. What? Do you put the cheese in before you flop it over? Sorry, I put the cheese in and then flop it over.

42:13And, like, it's delicious, right? I love it. I then put it on two pieces of Molly Berg toast, a little bit of Kewpie Japanese mayo on top. Wow. Maybe a bit of spring onion. Oh, my gosh. And then that's a really good way to start the day. Yeah. Just wondering. Oh. Now put the music up. Go on.

42:33Any advice for how I can change it? Because I think I'm chili oiled out now, and it's putting me off omelets. I would change out the taties, the capsicum,

42:45Keyzie:chuck a few cubes of tofu in there. Oh. Yeah. That's what I'm talking about. Or you go down more of like you change up the spices and the flavours a little bit. Maybe some like herby, like a more herby approach, like some oregano maybe. Oregano? Yeah.

43:09Keyzie:You know what I do, Keezy, for my flop over? Yeah. Bit of pesto. Sorry? Bit of pesto. Basil pesto. Basil pesto. And some sun-dried tamatis. Oh, jeez.

43:27Okay, perfect. Thank you. I'll try that. Do, man. Bit of feta instead of your cheddar. Sorry? Feta instead of cheddar? Yeah. I'm actually using mozzarella. because I like it stringy and my flop over.

43:43The Hauraki Big Show with Jase, Mike and Keezy. Tune in weekdays at four on Radio Hauraki.

43:49Keyzie:Yes, indeed, Pluto there on the radio. Hauraki Big Show this Monday afternoon. Hey, fellas. Hey. We're looking forward to our trip to Dunedin, the beer festival. To be honest, Jase, it's completely sneaking up on me. It's 7th and 8th of November. It's a Friday, Saturday. Yes. It's just far off enough for me to be like, Like, oh, it's coming later on in the year. And before you know it, it will be here. We will be in Dunedin. And we will be getting responsibly steamed. Yeah, totally. Oh, I've been, I'm totally into it, man, because I've been there before. It's a great day out. You have been? I've just been marking it off in my calendar.

44:20Keyzie:Really? Yeah, because I'm fizzing about it. When did you go to the Dunedin? I've been a couple of times. Yeah, right. With a previous show that I don't want to talk about. Oh, booja. Where is your calendar? In my bog. Oh, in the back of the door in the bog? And my second bog where I do my steamers. Wait, wait, wait. Cool. So can you, when you're crossing it off, is it while you're doing a steamer? So you can reach the calendar while sitting down? Yeah, well, it's got a little pen hanging off it. Oh, like a string? On a string there, and I just mark it off. You do like a cross. Yeah, like a cross.

44:52Keyzie:Like I'm doing a prison sentence. Yeah, right. Like if I was in a cell, I'd be scratching it into the sort of concrete there. Same amount of strokes with the pen as you do wipe. Oh, well, it depends what day it is. pugs. I mean, if it's the 8th, I only do one thing with a pen. If it's the 23rd, then it's... Oh, no, actually it is. Just a cross. We're now confused. Are you doing dashes and a cross through, or are you just doing crosses on the days? I tell you what was terrible was when I did get confused about marking it off on the calendar there and wiping my ass. Oh, no. And I grabbed the pen and went, oh, God, this is the wrong thing.

45:32So you started wiping the calendar with toilet paper and then you use the pen to wipe myself. And I said, geez, that's pointy. Probably about just as effective, eh? Pointy, pointy. Now, you know what's effective? Buying tickets at DunedinBearFest.co.nz. Yeah. Okay? If you want to join, we're going to be there on the Friday broadcasting live from Forsyth Bar Stadium. However, we have a prize on offer. If you and a mate want free flights, free accommodation and tickets to the gig as well, head to Hodaki.co.nz and come up with a name for the big show beer. It's a hazy pale ale. We'll be pouring it while we're at the festival.

46:05So it's a limited edition festival-only beer made by Emerson's.

46:08Keyzie:Will we be pouring it down our throats? Responsibly. Responsibly. Yeah, of course. But hodaki.co.nz, give us a name for the beer. Heaps of them have come through so far. The Flowers. The Fjell Flowers. Mon and Don's Liquor Cabinet. I like Wizard of Schnoz Pale Ale. Wizard of Schnoz Pale Ale is good. Hazier Than Thou, that's a little Metallica joke there. Crazy Hazy, Big Show Banger IPA, Big Show Backbone IPA. Responsibly. That's really good. Calling it responsibly is good. That's really good. Yeah, I like it. So hodaki.co.nz, get yourself in the draw there and you could win flights, accommodation and tickets to join us at the Dineen Craft Beer and Food Festival.

46:53The Hodaki Big Show with Jace, Mike and Keezy. Tune in weekdays at four on Radio Hodaki.

46:59Keyzie:John Bon Jovi there on the Radio Hodaki Big Show this Monday evening. Let's give out some advice, Fields.

47:12At gmail.com. Get in touch with the fellas. It's a real email address. Do get in touch. And if we read it out on the show, you'll get yourself a$50 Reburger voucher. Pugs, who have we got getting in touch today? It is a real address, fellas. And today's email, they haven't asked to be anonymous. So I'm just going to run with it. It's from Pornhub. Info at Pornhub.com. That's legit. Have emailed me, pattynip69 at gmail.com.

47:41Keyzie:Well, you'd know better than me, Keasy, in this scenario. Carry on. It says, oh, images in this email are hidden. This message appears suspicious. That's a little warning from Google there. Pornhub, you're nearly there. Input the following code on Pornhub to verify your email and complete your account creation. Now look fellas I've got to be honest with you I'm not up on the whole Pornhub thing I know you spent a bit of time On it over the weekend Pugs on Off an evening Especially in your bachelor days What's this about What's that about What are they talking about Yeah Pugs what are they talking about Tell Jase about your Pornhub stuff man Come on My Pornhub stuff Is your Pornhub My Pornhub Is your email on attached to your Pornhub?

48:30Mine's not, but what I'm seeing is that someone has input, maybe accidentally, maybe deliberately, meetpattynips69 at gmail.com into a new Pornhub account. So they're trying to sign us up? Yeah. Okay, okay. And just fill me in, Pugs, for lack of a better term, just because I... What does signing up to Pornhub get you? Because I've never signed up to Pornhub. So what did that get you when you signed up?

48:58I imagine. Some porn, obviously. Yeah, obviously. Totally. Yeah, yeah, yeah. But is it like a subscription-only porn? Like, here's the really good porn that you only get if you give us your email address. Yeah, yeah.

49:08Keyzie:Like the Gold Porn Club. Gold Porn Club. Yeah, yeah. Kind of like, what's the lounge? Kuru Lounge? Kuru Lounge of Pornhub. Oh. The Pornhub Lounge. Yeah, the Pornhub Lounge. And it's just all laid out there ready for your... So when you signed up with your Gmail, what did you get? What did you get with it? Is there like free drinks and stuff as well? Can you bring a guest? The thing about this one is this was sent three days ago at 6 p.m. And the rest of the email says you have 10 minutes to complete the verification before it expires. Oh, that's more than enough time. Yeah, yeah. Well, that was three days ago, Chris.

49:48Keyzie:Well, how long? How long do you need? Me, when I verify. When you filled yours out, how long did it take? Because you obviously went through with the whole thing. Because it would take me a couple of minutes to fill out a thing for Pornhub. Listen, if I'm filling it in, it doesn't take long at all. Right, okay. Right, so hang on. So did you sign us up or has someone else signed us up? I didn't. Right, so someone's taken our email, signed us up, and now we're almost members of Pornhub. Yeah, yeah, they've got a verification code. Because I don't want to be signed up to the same stuff you're signed up to, Pugs.

50:17Yeah, well, you'd have to start your own account, and I assume it would be tailored to your taste, Jason. Yeah.

50:23Keyzie:What are you running in terms of tastes? Talk us through your categories, Pugs. Top five, just quickly here before we go to a tune. Because I've got no idea about this stuff. Do I send the re-bug about you to Pornhub? No, don't dodge the question, man. Talk us through your categories, man. Can you answer the question, please, Pugs? What's that? Can you answer the question, please? The Hauraki Big Show. Weekdays from four on Radio Hauraki.

50:52Keyzie:Well, there you go, you mad bastards. That's a big show done and dusted for your Monday night. Now, in the podcast outro, which is bonus material we do, it's essentially a warm-up to the radio show. Oh, it's really a good way of putting it through, man. The good thing about it is we can go a bit harder on it because, you know, there's no restrictions. There's no sort of complaint to authority. Yeah, you're right, Chase, but what there is with podcasts is the fact that it's there forever, available for people to use as evidence or whatever. It doesn't just disappear like the radio does. Well, no, the radio becomes a podcast, doesn't it?

51:26Yeah, we make a highlights podcast, yeah. No, I know, but I'm just saying, you can't go fully untapped, you know what I mean? That doesn't seem to stop you, Keezy. Really, stop me? Because I was going to say, you were a shocker on today's one, man. What's the clock today, bud? It's titled, Oh, Keezy.

51:45Keyzie:And old Keezy went, I said, this is a, don't worry about that. Oh, Keezy will get another bottle of wine. What if we open this one? I'll buy you another one. We'll open this one now. I'll get you another one later on. That was pretty much what was said. And then I can, if I'm correct in stating this, your wife said, oh. No, I've got to go to work tomorrow. And then the cousin said, I also have to go to work tomorrow. And Keezy was like. Yeah, sweet as. Oh, sweet. Just joking anyway. Oh, this guy's, I mean, I'll definitely replace it, though. Yeah, yeah. Oh, I can still hang out. And then you ended up in the wrong room.

52:22Keyzie:That's it. Yeah, that's my bad. Oh, yeah, that's right. Yeah, you ended up in the wrong room. Yeah, that's right. Yeah, I was in the wrong room. With your shirt off. With my shirt off, even though it was my house, and every night I go to my room. Yeah, yeah, but you were pretty seen that night, to be fair, responsibly. I can't believe how much chat we're getting out of this one night. Wednesday last week. To be fair, it's good, and it's what the big show's all about. I've had a great day today, fellas. Have you, mate? Oh, that's great. Yeah, yeah. What are you having for dinner, Jase? I am having spicy pork mince in lettuce cups.

52:54Yum.

52:55Keyzie:That sounds really good. It's going to be real yum. Sounds shithouse. I hate lettuce cups. And pork mince. Like, put it in a tortilla or something? Beautiful. But I hate lettuce cups for some reason. I don't know why. Okay, man. All right? Just chill, geezer. No, I'm fired up about it now. You're having lettuce cups. What are you having, pugs? Some tofu vom. I'm trying to decide between just having eggs on toast because my partner's away, so I'm doing bachelor stuff for the week, or if I make the palak paneer with tofu that I was going to make. So what do you guys think I should make? I don't know, man.

53:31Just go and get a re-burger or something. That's probably what I'd suggest.

53:35Keyzie:Palak paneer with tofu. I don't even know what that is. It's like a green Indian sauce. Spinach head's delicious. Yeah, right, okay. Sounds great. What are you having, Keezy? I'm having tacos made to taste like a very iconic burger from a very iconic franchise that we don't say because we're all about Reburger. And I'm very excited for it. Can't wait. Great stuff, man. Hey, now listen. Where's the music gone? Make sure you check out the Instagram. Make sure you check out the podcast. We'll be back same time, same place tomorrow. Till then, see you later.