FULL SHOW: Humper this Dinck

8:10Keyzie:Yeah, yeah, totally, totally.

8:11Mike Minogue:Hundy P. Ben, are you into rugby league? Mate, I'm a massive Waz fan. Damn it. Massive Waz fan. I would have loved also to send someone who doesn't like rugby league and doesn't want to go to the grand final. Yeah, yeah, just hates all of it.

8:25Keyzie:Yeah. Yeah, just has a really annoying time.

8:27Mike Minogue:Yeah, like a kind of hoity J type character.

8:29Keyzie:Yeah, yeah, totes.

8:30Mike Minogue:Ben, you're in the draw, mate. Fingers crossed, all right? Oh, thank you so much, guys. Good on you, man.

8:36Keyzie:G'day, Adam, you mad bastard. How's life?

8:39Mike Minogue:G'day, fellas.

8:39Keyzie:How are we? Yes, very well, thank you. Adam, yourself?

8:44Mike Minogue:Yeah, good, good. Are you guys looking forward to the old Engleburg? Oh, yeah, mate. Oh, yeah. It's Engleburg, it's not Engleburg. I thought it was Engleburg. I've got a lipstick. Oh, dear. Good on you, Adam. Hey, what do you do for a crust, man? A bit of a backbone, bit of a truck driver, digger operator. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

9:05Keyzie:When you're at the truck stop at the cafe there, what are you running with, Adam?

9:10Mike Minogue:Red Bull and a pie. Yes, yeah. You're pretty standard. That's good shit. Adam, if we send you to Sydney, mate, will you ruin it for everyone? Yeah, definitely, yes. Yeah, that's not right.

9:20Keyzie:That's the one. You're in the draw, mate. Stay on the line. Pucks will sort you out.

9:24Mike Minogue:See you, fellas. Take care. Good on you, mate. Good on you. Fellas, interestingly, we asked at the top of the show which Engelbert tune would you like to hear played in full on the Hodaki Big Show. A lot of texts coming in. A lot of requests for A Man Without Love. Yep. Ten guitars. A lot of requests for the shortest one you've got. None of them. Yeah. This one here, the Inglebert song where Keezy runs into a wall and gets a concussion. This one here just says, I don't want to hear any of that shit. Yeah. So look, it's a mixed bag, isn't it? Yeah. It's a bit like our throbbers, isn't it, fellas?

9:54Mike Minogue:No, it's your throbber you're talking about, actually. The Hauraki Big Show. Weekdays from four on Radio Hauraki.

10:01Keyzie:Pool jam there on the Radio Hauraki Big Show this Tuesday afternoon. And fellas, what a great day for New Zealand cricket. it was in the early hours of the morning. Absolutely magic. The Blackcaps ultimately destroying the English side in the third and deciding test match. We lost at Lords. And again, in all fairness, we should have won. Yes. If we held our catches, we would have won that. Then we tailed them up in the second test. And then in this test match, with Ben Stokes retiring halfway through the fourth day, we wrapped them up. I think they still had about 140 runs to get. 160, I think it was.

10:42There you go. Wrap them up really quickly. As soon as Henry Nicholls managed to run out Jo Root, earlier on the fifth morning, she was pretty much all done and dusted with that. And an incredible day of fielding, actually.

10:56Keyzie:Yeah, brilliant day of fielding. And it just encapsulated the way the New Zealanders have gone about their business. Just on that Lord's Test match, you've got to remember too and chuck into the mix, old Matt Henry, who was our star, was much less than 100 % fit for that game. So that was a huge loss. It could have been gone anyway. But anyway, to win the next two tests, amazing. And what a contrast. The gritty, nuggety New Zealanders playing like a team, fighting for each other. That Mitchell innings where he got struck 17 times on the body. Contrast that with the English who just were all over the place.

11:31Keyzie:Then Ben Stokes coming out and making that big announcement the middle of day four, making it all about him. It was a great contrast of the two sides, I thought. Can I say particularly odd that Ben Stokes then wrapped up the innings and then rushed inside, put on the pads, and came out to open the batting for the first time in his life in a test match? Yes. It was bizarre stuff. Absolutely bizarre. I sort of almost got the impression with regards to that that Ben Stokes had reached the end really quickly and just went, I need to get this over and done with. or I'm going to implode. That's the only way I can make sense of it.

12:07Didn't have the team at the centre of his thoughts, but yeah, it was incredible. You had Daryl Mitchell, as you say, he ended up being the man of the match. He got 44 and 100, took five catches. Nathan Smith, named by the England team, is our player of the series. I think he took 15 or 16. Yeah, 15, yeah. Henry took 12 wickets, 11 of them in one match, and he was unavailable in the others, essentially. Yes, yes. So, yeah. What's really heartening about this is that we've got young guys that are coming. I thought the glory days were well and truly over, but, jeez, it was bloody good. I got up and watched the full replay of today, and there's nothing like winning a series.

12:45Well, there is. We won 3-0 in India recently. Yes. Winning 2-1 over in England. How bloody good.

12:51Keyzie:The only thing comparable would be to beat the Aussies in Aussie. I wouldn't mind it. That'd be good. I wouldn't mind it.

12:56Mike Minogue:Here, here, fellas. Here, here. Do you like Tom Petty? I only like Englebert. Yeah. Woo! The Hauraki Big Show. Weekdays from four on Radio Hauraki.

13:08Keyzie:The Minchicks here on the Radio Hauraki Big Show this Tuesday afternoon. Fellas, let's talk TV. What's on the telly with Mike Minogue?

13:23Yeah. Fellas, I'll be honest with you. All I did last night was watch even more of The Long Way Up, the third series in the Ewan McGregor, Charlie Borman, Long Way Adventure franchise. In this one, they're going all the way up to South America from the southernmost tip to Los Angeles. And that's on motorbikes, right? It's on electric motorbikes, Kese.

13:43Mike Minogue:Kese. Kese. And that makes it very, very tricky because there's not very many places to charge them up. In fact, pretty much nowhere. Can I just ask? I was going to suggest that might be a problem. Yeah, so they didn't think of it. Longtime motorcycle enthusiasts, both those guys, since childhood. What are their views on the electric motorcycles? They absolutely love them. They love the smoothness. They love that there's no noise between them and the road. You can hear the road, you don't, and there's no vibration between the road and you as the rider. Right. Do you know what I mean? Like an engine gives you that.

14:17So they love that part of it. The good thing about them doing this is it's added a level of adventure that wasn't there before. wouldn't have been there otherwise because South American roads are a hell of a lot better than what they've encountered anywhere else. Right. So the other roads were so bad that it sort of made it interesting. But in this one they go through Argentina, Chile, Bolivia, Peru, Ecuador, Colombia, Panama, Costa Rica, Nicaragua, Honduras, Guatemala, Mexico and United States. Very cool. That's a big drive, Fjells.

14:46Keyzie:Yeah, and a lot of those places you would be struggling to recharge. Well, yeah, even the sponsors that they got on, the car that they got on, which is called Rivian or Riven, they installed 180 chargers along the way.

15:01Mike Minogue:Wow. Ahead of time. Ahead of time as part of this deal. The trouble is 180 of those across what is, I think, 11 ,000 kilometres or something insane. Yes. They're quite far apart. Yeah, but it's five buzzies out of a possible five. It's on Apple TV. I can't recommend it highly enough. Get involved.

15:18Keyzie:I tell you what, Speaking of great viewing, I watched a movie last night that was outstanding. One of the best movies I've ever seen, Hercules in New York. Oh, how good. What is that? Arnold Schwarzenegger. Arnold Schwarzenegger. Have you not seen that before? No, I've never seen it before. I never even heard about it. Adventures in shoes after Hercules moves to New York and learns that his ancient Greek lifestyle is not compatible with the modern life. To add to the woes, his father sends a few gods to bring him back.

15:55Mike Minogue:So how does Hercules, who exists in ancient Greece, move to modern day New York? It's a suspension of disbelief situation. Like most movies, you'll have something that doesn't sound right at all. Exactly. But that's ridiculous though.

16:09Keyzie:Yeah, yeah. It's a comedy. It is a comedy. Yeah. Now, I've got an issue because IMDB gives it 3.4 out of 10. Rotten Tomatoes gives it 14 % out of 10. Wow. It is one of the best movies I've seen in 10 years. Wow, must be good. It is outstandingly good. And, jeez, I tell you what, old Arnold was in top-notch Nick. Absolutely he was. He was an absolute beast in this movie.

16:38Mike Minogue:I've just seen a photo from the film. It's him driving a chariot through Times Square with horses. That's right. That's right. Ridiculous. But it's pretty good in the sense that he had the meeting. Arnold had the meeting. He was already in the US. He wanted to get into acting, but his English was still horrendous. Yes. And if I remember correctly, the producer, Dino DeLorientis, who produced heaps of movies like Serpico and Red Dragon, a whole bunch, hundreds and hundreds of films, had a meeting, I think, with a money man. He brought Arnold along. He wanted him to be in the lead because he thought he had real presence.

17:11But he said, just sit there at this lunch and just fold your arms and be imposing. And don't say anything at all. That way they won't know that you can't speak English. And so sure enough, he said, this guy's amazing. They cast him, got him on set. They got him on set. He can't speak English. His entire vocal performance has been overdubbed with somebody else's voice. Oh, wow. Yeah.

17:32Keyzie:But I tell you what, you know, it is a comedy of sorts, but there's some very moving dramatic moments throughout the movie. It touched me.

17:40Mike Minogue:Did it? In a profound way. Okay, so 14 % Rotten Tomatoes, and was it a terrible rating on IMDb as well? How many buzzies out of five do you give it?

17:51Keyzie:Without question. No. Six buzzies.

17:54Mike Minogue:Oh, God. Why are we even doing this? What do you mean, man? So this is another example, isn't it, Casey? You don't even care anymore, man. Six buzzies.

18:07Mike Minogue:The Hodaki Big Show with Jase, Mike and Keezy. Tune in weekdays at four on Radio Hodaki. The Hodaki Big Show with Jase and Hoyt, Mike Minogue and Keezy. Oh, here he is. Jeez, you all right there? Keezy started doing shots. He's so fired up for an Engelbert. Yeah, Engelbert concert tonight. Sorry, fellas, just did a shot there. Went down the wrong hole.

18:32Keyzie:Yeah, yeah. God, it's been going down the wrong hole all day for you, Keezy. What the hell is that supposed to mean? Well, that's about the fourth time you've nearly choked on something. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Just shovel it down. What else have you been choking on?

18:44Mike Minogue:Oh. Food? Oh. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Fellas. Oh, no, you go, Jase. Go on.

18:49Keyzie:Oh, I just want to remind people, this is called The Big Show.

18:52Mike Minogue:Yeah. And it's brought to you by Reburgu. Crave with your street food, freshly made with Reburger. Reburger. Fellas, have you noticed anything? Have you noticed anything? No. You're dressed up, Keezy. I'm dressed up. What am I wearing? You're wearing a turtleneck. I'm wearing a turtleneck. What day is it today? Tuesday. Oh, turtleneck Tuesday. Ooh. Oh, yeah.

19:14Keyzie:Yeah, that works. Looking sharp. Yas, queen. It's a longie.

19:21Mike Minogue:So good. Yeah. Spicy. Forgot how long it is. I would.

19:33Keyzie:Oh!

19:37It's the Honaki Big Show, Turtleneck Tuesday.

19:45Mike Minogue:Turtleneck Tuesday, fellas, we're bringing it back.

19:47Keyzie:Yeah, man. What do you reckon? I don't know if I still have my turtleneck, to be honest. Oh, mine's wrong on. This is something that we did about four and a half years ago, give or take. We wore turtlenecks. We had a sponsorship thing going on. Our whole kit and caboodle, we went and got dressed up. We made social videos. She was all go. It was quite funny. And then we got over it, like everything else, and then eventually gave it up. Sorry, can I just say, you guys got over it.

20:11Mike Minogue:I've always loved Turtleneck Tuesday. Oh, really? Yep. I found it a bit sweaty. Oh, you didn't like it at all. If I remember correctly, because we were meant to be wearing suits, and I just remember you would just wear your normal pants, and then you'd have your turtleneck on top. You know what I mean?

20:24Keyzie:Yeah, well, you can't see. Yeah, yeah, yeah. It's an old broadcasting trick. You know what I mean? You can just be casual underneath the desk and just spiffy above it.

20:34Mike Minogue:How good's this intro, though? Yeah, it's very good. It is a good intro. Very Engelbert. Yeah, very Engelbert. It's a bit lively for Engelbert. Wow. I don't like too lively. I like Engelbert. You like Engelbert. Yeah, okay. Well, we'll be getting into some more Engelbert later on in the show. You know, his nickname on the tour circuit is Death Warmed Up. The Horaki Big Show with Jace, Mike and Kesey. Tune in weekdays at four on Radio Horaki.

20:56Keyzie:White Stripes there on the radio. Hauraki, big show this Tuesday evening. We've got Pugs in the studio. Ooh, it's Pugs.

21:08Keyzie:No, you go. Oh, thank you. Hello. Hello. Cheers. How are you going? Yeah, good. Well, hey, what the hell is this?

21:14Mike Minogue:This isn't just you guys catching up as well. Easy, man. Hey, how are you?

21:17Keyzie:I was just going to say, now that Pugs is in, we need to call a show meeting. Show meeting. Show meeting. Show me the meeting. Show meeting is now in progress.

21:30Mike Minogue:Now, I believe, Pugs, you actually are the one that wanted to call this show meeting. Yeah, look, I didn't think it was. Carry on. You know, it's not a massive one, fellas. It's just a little thing. I just thought I would check in with you. Obviously, you know, tonight we've got a big night tonight with our lovely partners all going along. Yes, Inglebert Humperdinck Live. Inglebert Humperdinck Live. Have you ever heard of Inglebert? I'm ready to Inglebert hum some dinks man I'd have hummed that dink What the hell's that supposed to mean guys I hope you're not taking the piss And also I think it's really important to keep in mind That we've got a lot of times That we're going to be catching up Outside of work Coming up with our partners Come dine with me for example Yeah that's right Come dine with the felps Oh yeah Got a few dinner parties and stuff A lot of plans to be exchanged Details etc

22:14Keyzie:I'm having coffee with your partner tomorrow Exactly Exactly

22:17Mike Minogue:And your partner's coming back home with us tonight But I just wondered if we could maybe She is? What is she doing? Just a nightcap fellas She doesn't drink I just wondered if maybe it was time and I'm just checking in with you guys because we've got a group chat which is you three your partners and when I started on the big show me, I got added to that group chat and it's called Big Show plus Family. Yeah, that's right. And I just thought when would be a good time. We should change it to Big Show plus Family plus Pugs. Oh, yeah, good point. Is that what it's about? You want to... Is that it in the title of the group chat?

23:02Mike Minogue:No. No, no. I thought that I was... What are you trying to say? I just thought since we're doing a lot of stuff with our partners that maybe we chuck my partner in there and then that way she's across all the details. So we had a partner coming up for our future team endeavours. Well, the truth is we didn't think that was going to last. Oh. No. And also the other truth is And we still don't It's big show plus family Right Are you guys getting married? Oh look I mean Because this is a huge Wow Is this an announcement? That's not a drum roll That's not A drum roll What do you need a drum roll for?

23:36A drum roll

23:37Mike Minogue:I'm just searching for a drum roll No we're not We do not have plans to do that As a stage As soon as The wedding's happened You will be She will be in the group Absolutely Can I just say fellas I was adamantly

23:50Keyzie:going to oppose the suggestion. But now that I know they're getting married, I'm all for it. I'm all for it too.

23:57Mike Minogue:Did you still want the drum roll? No, I don't want the... This doesn't seem relevant. Pugs is getting married! That's not... Yeah! Congratulations! Oh, wow. Can we put that in a group chat? Hang on a minute. Hang on a minute. Is this a shotgun wedding? Huh? Can we get a drum roll, please? Oh, my God. We keep asking for drum roll. This is a Keezy thing. Don't make a Keezy joke on Pugs. Pugs was having a baby No he's not Pugs on I can see why you do this It's quite funny

24:27Keyzie:If I say yes to all of that Can we put her in the group chat? Oh I still need to think about it

24:31Mike Minogue:I'm iffy on her to be honest Oh that's great though Pugs Congrats Yeah congratulations

24:35Keyzie:What a special evening this is going to be I'm glad I asked

24:41Mike Minogue:Pugs is getting married Text in messages of support for Pugs And his beautiful bride slash mother to be 3483 Mother to be Is she going to be your mother? Yeah, that's weird The Hauraki Big Show Weekdays from 4 on Radio Hauraki

24:57Keyzie:Yes indeed, Kings of Leon there on the Radio Hauraki Big Show This Tuesday evening And fellas, something really spooky happened to me today Now what I'm about to tell you Mustn't leave this room Is absolutely true and a real insight into the workings of my brain and my weird thinking. This is totally true, and this is exactly what happened. You didn't buy another pair of boots, did you? No, you only need one pair, like the ones I've got. All right. I had to go and buy some cream for our coffee today. So I walked out of our apartment building, and when I opened the front door to the apartment building, about three foot in front of me was this crazy looking dude, probably in his 60s, 70s, staring at the door about less than three feet, probably two feet, wild hair, tats all over his face, tats all over his neck.

26:07Keyzie:I opened the door and he was so close to the door and staring at the door, I immediately went, oh, okay, that's weird. Didn't budge, didn't blink, didn't move. And so I went, okay, I didn't say okay. I went, I'll just ignore him and carry on walking to the dairy to get the cream. As I'm walking to the dairy to get the cream, in my head a story starts forming. And the story was, I just saw myself 20 years from now. That's what I was going to say. I just saw myself 20 years from now, and I have obviously come back to this place where I used to live, and I'm remembering living there, staring at the door and having memories of me living in this apartment building.

27:04Keyzie:That sounds right. But how old was he?

27:08Keyzie:I'd say 70. But to be honest with you, he could have been 50, just a really hard life. Yeah, right. You know what I'm saying? Yes. But about 70 maybe. So then you would have been travelling back in time. But I kid you not, and by the time I got back to our door, he'd gone. Right. And I had utterly convinced myself that that was true. Right. And I went up the stairs and for about half an hour sitting in the apartment, I was deeply unsettled. That's concerning that you believed that.

27:42Mike Minogue:Yes. Did he look anything like you other than that he was, you know, decrepit or whatever? Like, did he have any of your facial features? He had a well-lived-in face. Sure. But there's one particular feature that you'd know for sure.

27:57Keyzie:Massive honker. Yeah. He had a massive honker. The only thing that made me go, no, that can't have been me. I'm not a big fan of tats. But maybe in that 20-year period. Tell me about his height. Small bastard. Oh, so he shrunk over time. Well, that makes sense. A little bit smaller than me. Yeah. That makes sense. What do the tattoos on his face say? Broken wood mystery. No, it was pictures. And they're all around his neck, too. They were just pictures. I do recall seeing like a skull. On one part of his neck. Right. It was spooky. But after half an hour, I then had convinced myself that actually I was being absurd.

28:40Keyzie:And of course that wasn't me 20 years from now.

28:43Mike Minogue:It took you half an hour to convince yourself. It took me half an hour. How long did it take you to convince yourself that when you opened your door and came face to face with a homeless man with tattoos on his face, that he was in fact a time traveller that had come back, a time-travelling you that had travelled back 20 years to come back to his old place he lived. How long did it take you to convince yourself of that? About three minutes. And 30 minutes to convince yourself that that wasn't right. Far out. Did he pass on, sorry, did you pass on any wisdom at all? Oh. Or just sort of stand there with a dumb look?

29:19Keyzie:No, just sort of sat there with a dumb look.

29:21Mike Minogue:Yeah, that could be you, man. The Hauraki Big Show, weekdays from four on Radio Hauraki.

29:26Keyzie:Dunn's roses there on the radio. Hauraki, big show this Tuesday evening. Fellas, I'm a little bit scared that my cat

29:39Mike Minogue:is getting bullied. Birdshit Chris being the name of Mogi's cat, which the audience chose. Keezy, everybody knows that, man. Oh, just in case, because it's pretty random.

29:47Keyzie:We've got a very intelligent audience, Keezy. You don't need to over-explain things. Okay. So what's happened is last night we were lying in bed. The cat's at an age now where it's going in and out. the cat door of its own accord. It's love and life and it's adventuring a little bit further afield. Last night, lying in bed, and we just hear this hideous fighting of two cats. Oh, gosh. Meow. Meow. I hate it. So a little bit of that. And my wife went outside onto the paddock, looked into the tree, and said, Jesus, cat's looking huge. Wow. It's looking massive. It's bulking itself up so it can kick some ass.

30:21It looks scary. But then she looked further up in the tree, and hiding at the top of the tree was our cat, which is also massive, but not as massive as this other bastard. So our cat was clearly running away. That's not a good look, is it? Skitty pant. Can I say probably skitty cat?

30:37Mike Minogue:Yeah. How did you butcher that? Are you kidding me? You were so close, man. Damn it. But I don't know what to do about it because this other cat is obviously older, which is why it's so big. It's also a rag doll, which is what our cat is. But our cat is sort of bringing shame on our family. Coward. And our family name. Yeah. By running away from a fight. Yes. Now, I want this cat to stand on its own four feet. Yeah. And not let other cats onto our property and make us look like losers. Yes. So how do you communicate that to bird shit Chris?

31:12Keyzie:Can I just clarify something here? When you heard those hideous cat noises, are you certain they were fighting? because I don't know if you've ever heard cats make love. Yes. Very similar sound. Well, the cat was halfway up the tree and my cat was about eight feet away from that. So. Yeah, I just wonder if the initial. Oh, well, possibly, possibly.

31:37Mike Minogue:Bit young for that. Only a little bloody kitten still, isn't it? Nah. You know what cats are like. Yeah, right, okay. They don't know about any rules or anything like that. They do what they like. Yeah, right. But my cat has been spayed. You heard about spay, Keezy? Yeah, like a shovel. Yeah, it's over for them. It's over for her now. Yeah, yeah.

31:56Keyzie:But I know what you mean. It is an issue because, you know, you want your cat staking out and protecting your territory. That's right. Well, no, you're thinking of a dog. No, I want my cat to do that because we haven't got a dog. You want a guard cat? I want the best of both worlds. She's already started doing that by pooing everywhere in the lawn. The lawn is covered in shite. Right. Absolutely covered like a dog. So that's dog behaviour, Keezy.

32:18Mike Minogue:But if you're wanting something that's going to stake the sort of territory and protect the house, a cat is not the way to go. It's a dog you're after.

32:24Keyzie:Well, like Jizz. Yeah. God, I love Jizz. Yeah, Jizz, who's in our apartment now, lives in the apartment.

32:31Mike Minogue:Oh, you're talking about your cat? Yes. Jizz.

32:36Keyzie:Has staunched out all the other cats in the apartment. Right. I found her in the lobby the other day, just smacking this other cat in the face. What, like smacking her around? Just smacking her around, and then it was like, And the cat took off and then Jizz walked into the elevator with me. Well, maybe I'll bring my cat to your house and your cat can teach my cat how to harden up because what I want is a sort of a cat that'll grab another cat and put it in a headlock and just give a few dedujas, a few uppercuts to the head. Or just sort of tell it not to come around here no more.

33:06Mike Minogue:Well, because you could also get Jizz, your cat, Jase, to go around to Moggy's and actually just beat up that other cat and say, you leave Birdshipp Chris alone.

33:15Keyzie:That's not Jizz's style though To be fair Right Because she's a big advocate of You know Taking responsibility Stabbing on your own four feet Your own four feet Right okay Yeah Who Jizz Because she was brought up In the mean streets of the city You know And so Right She had to fend for herself For a long time Is she an alley cat She's an alley cat I thought you didn't let her Outside of the apartment How has she been brought up On the mean streets of the city Before we adopted her Oh She was a vicious bastard man

33:41Mike Minogue:Yeah right Jizz The Hauraki Big Show weekdays from four on Radio Hodaki. Let's see who's joining Gerion Manaya on the Export Ultra Grand Final Beer Garden Tour.

33:54Keyzie:Bloody oats, and I believe that's going to be drawn 8.45 exactly on the dot tomorrow on the breakfast show, fellas.

34:01Mike Minogue:Yeah, so if you've got yourself in the draw, make sure you've got your phone on. Probably your last chance to get in the draw right now. I'd say so. I'd say so. I think so. Tomorrow they're just doing the draw, Kesey. Yeah. It'll be about 8.45, 8.44.

34:14Keyzie:No, 8.45. On the money, man, on the money. Should we go to the phone lines, fellas? Shall we? G'day, Dave, you mad barton. How's life? Not too bad. How are you, Stallion? Yeah, good, mate. This guy gets it. Yeah, we are Stallions, actually, Dave. I mean, I know we get a lot of jip about the way we look, but all three of us in the studio, Stallions. Goers.

34:38Mike Minogue:It's an absolute stable.

34:40Keyzie:Yeah, good on you, Dave. I like Dave. Yeah, Dave's great. What do you do for a crust, Dave?

34:45Mike Minogue:I'm actually a slippery insurance salesman. Oh, good. Backbone.

34:51Keyzie:Backbone. So you can talk the talk, Dave. Oh, yeah. But can you walk the walk if you go to Sydney, man? Can you ruin this trip for the Fjellas over there?

34:59Mike Minogue:I can make an absolute pig of myself. Yeah, good. I like Dave. I like Dave too, but Dave, we're going to need you to do more than that. Are you able to, on day one, walk up and just punch Jerry in the face? I confirm I can 100 % do that. Okay, great. Yeah, yeah, yeah. That's good. I like the way. Yeah, cool. All right, you're in the draw, Dave. You hold the line all right? Cheers, fellas. Okay. Good on you, mate. God, he's going to assault Jerry. That's crazy. Yeah, that's pretty full on, isn't it?

35:23Keyzie:That's crazy. That's sort of one network news type stuff. It is. G'day, Steve, you mad bastard. How's life? G'day, mate. G'day, mate. Yeah, very good. Thanks, Steve. What do you do for a crust, mate?

35:37Mike Minogue:I'm on ACC at the moment. Ah, bleep. Bleeding the bastards dry, a backbone. Yeah, you got it. Yeah, this guy gets it, man. I've got a sore back, but I'm building a retaining wall. Yeah, get on you, mate. Good shit. Hey, Steve, do you like rugby league, man? Oh, I've heard of it. Yeah, good, good, good, good. And look, we were looking for someone to ruin this trip. Are you able to walk up to Mania on day one and just roundhouse him in the face? Yeah, the douche, mate.

36:03Keyzie:Yeah, the douche. Tell me, Steve. You're telling this one's from Mogey? Yeah. Steve. Yeah, yeah, yeah. From Mogey. Yeah, will do, mate. Do you like a beer, Steve? Oh, I've been known to throw back a gobbling beer. Yeah, yeah. Good on you. I like the bag, buddy. Yeah, same. Oh, good on you, mate. You're in the draw. You're in, man. Oh, good on you, fellas. Just like that. Good on you, mate. How good. Just a douche.

36:27Mike Minogue:I think he might be the last one that we're putting in the draw, fellas. Wow. Bloody exciting. Full-on trip to Sydney. Five-star hotel return flights. Races on the Saturday at Renwick there. Famous meet. Off to the races. Off to the races. Then Harbour Cruise, the grand final of the rugby league. Could the Waz be there? Fingers crossed. We just don't know. But it's going to be a hell of a trip regardless.

36:47Keyzie:Beautiful, man.

36:48Mike Minogue:Queens of the Stone Age. The Hauraki Big Show. Weekdays from four on Radio Hauraki.

36:54Keyzie:Papa Roach there on the Radio Hauraki Big Show this Tuesday evening. Now, it's Tuesday, which means after six, what's on the D with me, Keezy? What are you having for dinner? Text us 3483 and your name.

37:07Mike Minogue:That's right. You could win yourself a$50 Reburger voucher. Also, it says here that Horty J's got a bone to pick. I really do. You've always got a bone to pick. I bet it's with me. You just never leave me alone.

37:17Keyzie:No, it's not about you at all, Keezy.

37:19Mike Minogue:Yeah, okay.

37:20Keyzie:I never have a bone to pick with the Fielder. That's true, man. Okay.

37:23Mike Minogue:And also, we've had a request to hear yesterday's improv again. Yes. A few people have sent through being like, yo, we missed it. It was really great. Can we hear it again? That's right. If there's any breaks that we do at all that you want to hear again, like earlier on the show we did a little bit of cricket chat, I think. Yes. If you want to hear that tomorrow, you send in your requests, and that can be over text message or email, on Instagram, the Horeki Big Show, whatever you like, and we'll replay it. I don't know if you remember the show back in the day, Jase. It was called I Like That One Too.

37:56Yes. I Like That One Too. And what you'd do is you'd send a letter in and you'd go, hey, I saw this thing on TV on Tuesday night. You would write a letter in. And then there would be someone that would host it. Maybe it was Jay LaGaia. And then he would go, oh, we had this bit and this person wanted to hear it. See it again. Here it is. Here it is. And there was a half an hour show of that. So we're going to bring that back.

38:16Mike Minogue:I like that one too. We just got a text on 3483 saying yesterday's improv sucked. Oh, yeah. If you've got one that you don't want to hear again, then just change the station. The Lucky Big Show with Jace, Mike and Keezy. Tune in weekdays at four on Radio Hodaki.

38:33Keyzie:Welcome back, you massive backbones. You are listening to The Big Show brought to you by Reburger.

38:38Mike Minogue:Craveworthy street food freshly made with Reburger. Oh, dance, dance, dance to my ten guitar. Oh, sorry. To my Reburger. There you go. Yeah, nice. The Reburger button's right next to the Engelbert button. That's my bad, fellas. And, of course, we're going to see him straight after the show. Yeah. Can't wait. You fizzed? Actually, I'm pretty tired, but I'm going to have a coffee before I go. Okay. Okay. Yeah, I think I might have a long black as well. Right, okay. I mean, but you guys are excited though, right? Oh, yeah. Because usually you'd have to have a coffee before some kind of work or something you've got to get through.

39:14Mike Minogue:Actually, I might chuck a Red Bull in there as well just to really wake me up.

39:19Keyzie:What? Come on, guys. This is going to be amazing. Oh, look, it's going to be amazing. Don't get me wrong. It'll be neat. Have you got any uppers? Me? Yeah. Pugs is probably your man for that sort of stuff. Yeah, Pugs is definitely a lot of uppers. Yeah.

39:37Mike Minogue:Are you pumped for it, Gaisley? I am pumped for it, Mike, because at a few hours' time, we could be listening to this live. You ready? Listen. No drums in this? I'll take it. No, man. Listen to this.

39:55Keyzie:Please release me Let me go

40:01Mike Minogue:Don't make a joke about that's how you guys will be feeling Mogi Huh?

40:05Keyzie:Wake up mate Yeah You alright?

40:08Mike Minogue:Here's the black key The Hauraki Big Show With Jase, Mike and Keezy Tune in weekdays at 4 on Radio Hauraki

40:15Keyzie:Rage against the machine there on the Radio Hauraki Big Show This Tuesday evening but right now it's time for...

40:22Mike Minogue:Oh yeah, hey guys. Text here from Steve.

40:26Keyzie:What's for D? T. Yeah, what's for D?

40:28Mike Minogue:Yeah, yeah, what's for D? Yeah, what's for D? What's for dinner New Zealand? 3483. You send it on through. You say where you are, what your name is, and you can win a$50 Reburger voucher. It's good listening.

40:39Keyzie:It's great stuff. This one. What are they? What were those? Cheetos. Cheetos. Bloody got a bit of a kick to them, don't they? They do. The hot Cheetos. God knows what. It's making that spicy sort of feeling, you know? I get the feeling it's made in a lab. Yes. Well, it's very pink, isn't it?

40:57Mike Minogue:Some sort of chilli, perhaps. This first text comes in from Hank. Oh, Hank Tom. Hank Tom. G'day there, fellas. Stuffed schnitzel for dinner tonight with broccoli and taties. Cheers.

41:12Keyzie:Yeah, right up. Stuffed schnitzel, yeah. Is there any sort of sauce with that? And what's it stuffed with?

41:18Mike Minogue:It doesn't say, but traditionally. It doesn't have cheese and a bit of ham. Yeah.

41:23Keyzie:Really? Yes. Schnitzel, I've never had it with that. Is he single crumbing or double crumbing? We don't know. My wife, she's not my wife, she's my mother. Oh, that's insane. She could never get the crumb to stick to the schnitzel. You could always see the dried out meat. The grey sort of, yes. Yeah, and so I think my experience of schnitzel has always been tarnished by my mother's inability to properly prepare one. I tell you what, Mogi, the mad butcher used to do a good schnitzel, really thin, double crumb it, bloody beautiful with a mushroom sauce and a bit of mash.

41:57Mike Minogue:Oh. Do you know the name schnitzel von crumb? Yes. Where's that from? That's from Harry McCleary from Donaldson's Dairy. Ah, is it? Schnitzel von crumb, of course, had the very low tum. Oh, is it a cat? No, it's a dog. It's a weiner dog. And what's the name of the cat, the mean cat? How am I supposed to? I don't know, man. I read novels, not kids' books. It's just that you knew everything else about it. Can we get on with it, please? It was, I think it was something on the name of Scar McClure or something like that. Scarface McClure. Scarface McClure. There you go. Yeah, there you go, Jase. You should, Scarface Claw, you should read it, Jase.

42:32Mike Minogue:You'd love it. That was from Hank Tom. This one comes in from Trev. Oh. Trevor Gilmeister. Trevor Mallard. It's Trevor Gilmeister. on 3483. G'day fellas, winter soup for dinner tonight. Bacon hawk soup with garlic bread. What's bacon hawk soup? I don't know, you'll have to ask him. That sounds like a ham and pea. Yeah, well that's a bacon hawk, isn't it? Well, you don't call it bacon hawk soup, though. Oh, don't you?

43:01Keyzie:Generally I'd put a bacon hawk in my veggie soup.

43:05Mike Minogue:Right, so that's bacon hawk and veggie soup. Yes. Well, he's having bacon hawk soup, it's probably got veggies in it too, and garlic bread. You've been very defensive. Is this you making this dinner? No, of course it's not me making this dinner. Because you're acting weird. You are all over the shop. Do you know why? Because my mum makes bacon hot soup, and it's always been called bacon hot soup, and you're all like, oh, no one calls it that, Keezy, you idiot. And I actually get a bit far up. Well, I didn't say you idiot, although that was obviously implied between the lines. Oh, was it? The Hauraki Big Show, weekdays from four on Radio Hauraki.

43:40Keyzie:Link 182 there on the radio. Hodaki Big Show this Tuesday evening. Fellas, I've got a bone to pick. I've got a bone to pick. And this is legit. And I want your opinion on it. Because it really got deep inside my goat. There I was at lunch. Did I grind your goat? No, I got deep inside it. There I was at lunch. At a cafe that will remain unnamed. Hot pot. With my lovely wife. No, not hot pot.

44:09Mike Minogue:Reburger.

44:10Keyzie:No. And it was quite a, it's a big space, but it's also quite intimate in terms of tables. Oh, yes. Eating my lunch, having a coffee with my lovely wife, a dude sits down next to us, very close, maybe two feet away, puts his computer on the table. His coffee's brought up.

44:30Mike Minogue:His whole computer.

44:31Keyzie:Like a laptop. Oh, yeah, like a laptop. Yeah, well, no, a laptop. He puts his laptop on the table. Oh, gee, that's fine. You okay with that? I'm okay with that. Because it should be on his lap. And he's sitting there and he's sipping his coffee. All of a sudden, he gets a phone call. Okay, here we go. He answers his phone. Then for the next 20 minutes, basically had a business meeting at the table, very loudly, oblivious to everyone sitting around him. Now, is that all G or is that not all G?

45:07Mike Minogue:I've had this before and it's really frustrating. Right. Because there's a lot of like, yeah, yeah, mate, yeah, we'll tell him we'll take care of it. We'll tell him I said that. Exactly that sort of stuff. Yeah, real big dog stuff. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

45:17Keyzie:Yeah, and, you know, I won't go so far as to say he was shouting, but clearly I could hear him, you know, and it was very much along the lines of, well, that was never the deal. And as I said to him, it was never, you know, in one of those sort of conversations. And I'm sitting there with my lovely wife going, come on. Come on, dude. What's this about? Come on. What did you say to him? I didn't say anything to him. But in my head, I'm going, come on, dude. Are you so oblivious that you don't see everyone around you? And I can see other people going, who is this clown? Yeah, yeah. I mean, keep it in the office.

45:51Keyzie:Keep it in your own private space. Keep it in your pants. Not in a public space. Yeah, well, I guess I've got a different view because I'm a big dog. Yeah, okay. Right. I do business every day. Business mode, yeah. And I've got to talk to people. A little bit of work. And so if I'm sitting there and I'm in a cafe and I've spent my money on a glass of water and I need to use some free Wi-Fi, then I'm well within my right to be able to talk at the top of my lungs about my business dealings. Wow. Now, sometimes what I've been told by people is that you should treat the microphone of the phone there as if it's somebody's ear.

46:29So you don't have to shout into it. No. But I like doing that.

46:33Mike Minogue:Yeah, right. Because that gets the point across real good. And then any sort of suckers that are sitting around trying to have a nice time and eat their lunch or have a coffee and a nice time with their wives, well, they can just suck it. Yeah, right. So that's big dog shit, man.

46:45Keyzie:Have you changed today, Mogi? Were you wearing something? Yeah. Were you wearing a like a white shirt with a podcast on it? Yeah, that's it. And black jeans and boots? Yeah, that's me.

46:59Mike Minogue:Wait, so it was Mogi. Actually, was that today? Today, yeah. And was that at 12? Yeah. At 12, yeah. You were sitting in a meeting room here at work. That wasn't a cafe.

47:13Mike Minogue:You were good, man. Jase. Hello. That was here. It was here, sucker. It was with Mogi in here. Your wife wasn't there. It was actually Prebs. The Hauraki Big Show with Jase, Mike and Keezy. Tune in weekdays at four on Radio Hauraki.

47:38Keyzie:Well, there you go, you mad bastards. That's the big show done and dusted this Tuesday afternoon. We're off to Engelbert Humperdinck. But before that, what was the podcast outro clip, Keezy? Today's clip is entitled Rings. It's about Jason's rings. I just buy my wife rings. Like jewellery. Really? Oh, after you've cheated. Well, no. Yeah, right. I wonder why, because she sort of walks around like Liberace. She looks like Dom King. Because she, you know, just to show that I appreciate her. But you don't. Well, I very much do, Mogi.

48:17Mike Minogue:Oh, that's why you've got that big bag of fake rings. Yeah. Because you just go, I'm going for the weekend, darling. Grab a handful and throw them at her. And then put your vest on. Yeah, I carry around a big bag of fake rings.

48:32Keyzie:Do you? I was just joking. Are you actually doing it? F***ing hell. Good Lord. Go and check it out. Podcast outro. Wherever you get your podcasts. Mogi, don't need to ask you guys what you're doing. We're about to go and get some food and then go to Engelbert. See you tomorrow. Yeah, I think so.

48:55Mike Minogue:I've managed to get us a restaurant. It's in a Japanese joint not too far from the theatre there, fellas. You're committing to the death ramen, Keezy? Maybe. We'll see how we go, but go chuck your glad rags on. We'll meet up at about 15, 20 or so. Sounds good, mate. Okay. Goodbye. Bye.