FULL SHOW: In-Law Issues

14:15Now, does the word stink hole somehow relate to any kind of beer? Not really. Long bow. It's a long bow, but it's got a ring to it. Hey, Xavier, thanks, mate. It's certainly got a ring to it.

14:26Mike Minogue:You've got yourself an Emerson's hoodie. You're all right. You have a good day. Cheers, Casey. Same to you. You're a backbone. Yeah, good stuff. A lot of techs coming through, fellas. They're not much better. was that name again? Moggy's Hazy Stinkhole. Yeah, I thought so. I don't want to wrap my lips around one of them, man. Of course you do, man. It's disgusting. Once you've had one of those bastards, there's no comeback. The good news is, fellas, the text, far more classy than that. Oh, yeah. Hazy Mangina. Yeah, good. What the hell? How do you get to that? How do you get to that? I don't know, man.

14:59It's got nothing to do with beer.

15:02Mike Minogue:Jace's Juicy Backside Dunners to douche Easy wheezy Keezy pale ale I'm pretty sure every single one we've had so far Has somehow been downstairs related Yeah totally Cool the beer hazy nip 69 Oh that's upstairs Throbber juice Jizz down under What? Hoyt hops and honkers Although fellas I did have a message from a listener Over in London actually Her name is Claudia and she sent one through No, just Claudia. And she says, hey, Keezy, I can't text because I'm overseas, but I'd like the beer to be called Chili Dog. So when someone asks what you're drinking, you can say, I'm sucking on a chili dog.

15:47Mike Minogue:Sucking on a chili dog. Sucking on a chili dog. Sucking on a chili dog. Which is a John Mellencamp reference. Yeah, good stuff.

15:57Keyzie:Well, keep those. I think we're out of ideas. Oh, yeah.

16:02Mike Minogue:Well, look. Yummy boy nectar. Effing and jeffing hazy. Do you know what I'm saying, though? Paranormal haze. Sleepy hazy. The frothy frobber. Hazy daisy. Douge, douge, hazy. There's lots of good news coming through. We get the point. 3, 4, 8, 3. Keep them coming. We're going to dish out some Emerson's hoodies. Get stuck in. Beautiful. The Hauraki Big Show with Jace, Mike, and Keezy. Tune in weekdays at 4 on Radio Hauraki.

16:28Keyzie:Pluto there on the Hauraki Big Show this Thursday afternoon. Fellas, let's talk TV. What's on the telly with Mike Minogue?

16:44That's right. Fellas? Last night, fellas, I watched a movie. Don't watch many of those these days, but there I was. It's called Moss and Freud. This story is about supermodel Kate Moss. She embarks on a journey of self-discovery when acclaimed artist Lucian Freud offers to paint her portrait. Okay. You like that? What made you want to watch that? Well, my wife wanted to watch it. And sometimes, Kezi, you've got to do things you don't like, man. Yeah, Kezi. But it had an air of promise around it, I've got to say. It's made by a Kiwi guy who apparently won an Academy Award for a short film, which I don't remember hearing about because you'd think we would have made a massive deal over it.

17:36But it's sort of a co-production. So weirdly, it's sort of funded by the New Zealand Film Commission, or a portion of it is, to support a New Zealand filmmaker. But it's entirely set in London. Right. Thereabouts, which I normally would tell a New Zealand story, Keezy. Anyway, there you are.

17:54It looks good. It looks good. The lady who plays Kate Moss is really good, but it seems to be a lot of trying to drill down on the fact that she's a party girl, number one. She smokes a lot of cigarettes. She does. She smokes a lot of ciggies in the skeezy, and she likes to throw her head back and laugh a lot, and that's pretty much all I took out of it.

18:14Mike Minogue:Sounds boring. It took a while to get anywhere, and I'm not sure it ever did. Is that a story worth turning into a movie? Because I feel like nowadays they're just sort of looking for anything. Well, absolutely. There's a million stories out there to be told. I guess this is an interesting... He was the grandson of Sigmund Freud, so that's interesting. He's a successful artist in his own right, absolutely. And he photographed Hitler, which is an interesting thing as well. But that sort of makes up about three sentences of chat. I don't know, maybe not for me I'll be honest with you, I'll leave my wife to it I'll give it a two and a, I think if you're into Cape Moss you'd love it, if you're also into nudity you probably might love it as well

19:01Keyzie:Okay, what was this on?

19:05That's on Apple I think it was$2.99 That's cheap.

19:09Keyzie:I've got to sort that subscription out So that was Moss and Freud Okay. I'll send Freud. I just write that in the chat. Hey, fellas. I stumbled upon a romantic movie today. Oh, here we go. Was it Moss and Freud?

19:25Mike Minogue:If you say it's Sheena, I'm going to slap you.

19:27Keyzie:No, it wasn't Sheena. It's called Last Chance Harvey, starring Dustin Hoffman and Emma Thompson. Yes, that's my reaction to. It's basically the story of, oh, where's it gone? Harvey. He's a Jules Shine, who's a jingles writer, and he kind of loses his job. Sort of like, show us your crack. Yeah. Show us your crack. Sort of a Ben Boys type. He wanted to be a famous jazz pianist, but he wasn't quite good enough, and he did jingles, but he loses his job. Jazz pianist. And he's sitting in the bar, and he comes across Emma Thompson, who works at the airport that he's in. Anyway, long story short, it's very romantic and so forth.

20:12Was it romantic to you, Jase?

20:14Keyzie:I actually cried. I genuinely cried because Shine, the character, Dustin Hoffman's character, he's got a daughter who's getting married, but they've grown really apart. Yeah. But they both actually really love each other. Yeah. And her mother has remarried another guy, and she loves the other guy. He's kind of turned into her dad. Right. And there's this very sort of ooh moment where she's talking to the Shine character, her actual dad, and says, Dad, I'm going to get Alex to walk me down the aisle. And it's like, ooh, that hurts. But anyway, there's a beautiful scene in the actual wedding where he's sort of seated far from the main table.

20:57Keyzie:And Alex, the stepdad, is up with her and stuff. And he goes. He's sort of a bit of a winner, a bit younger, pretty cool. No, he's the same sort of age, but everyone loves him. And he goes, ding, ding, ding. Right. As father of the bride, blah, blah, blah. And then Dustin Hoffman character goes ding, ding, ding, and stands up and says, with the greatest of respect, Alex, I'm her father. And actually does quite a beautiful speech to his daughter and is very gracious to this other man, Alex. And it made me cry. Oh, that's good. I got all sentimental with it. That's nice. You know, look, it's a good, they're both really good actors, as Thompson and Hoffman, and it's very sweet.

21:41Keyzie:Who played the stepfather? I can't remember his name. He's familiar, but he's not that familiar. Right, okay. Good-looking fella, though. Oh, I bet he is. Look, a solid three buzies, Keezy. What are you talking about? You cried. You can't give it three if it made you cry. Okay, look. You gave Sheena more than that. You did. You gave Sheena everything. Sheena had another effect on me, but look. Okay, I'll give it four buzies. Good on you, mate. Good stuff. And that's out of a possible five. I think your wife would really like it, Keezy. Samsung.

22:13Mike Minogue:Samsung TV. Cool. Hey, coming up after five, fellas, I've got quite a massive favour to ask of you guys. A massive favour to ask. Always got your hand out.

22:23Keyzie:I know, man.

22:24Mike Minogue:Far out. It involves doing something while I'm away on holiday, and it's huge. Okay, man. So I'm going to need your help.

22:34Mike Minogue:The Horaki Big Show with Jace, Mike, and Keezy. Tune in weekdays at four on Radio Hodaki.

22:40Keyzie:Welcome back, you massive backbones. Hope you're staggering through your Thursday afternoon. You're listening to The Big Show, incidentally, brought to you by Reburger.

22:49Mike Minogue:Handcrafted burgers, gourmet eats, loaded fries, all of which will change the game. Re-burger.

23:01Keyzie:I don't know, I just... What? I just sort of feel like Pugs is kind of... Because, you know, we're fans of his work and stuff. I just feel like he just gave me a sort of shoulder shrug there. Like, oh, no, man. Good enough. That'll do for now.

23:16Mike Minogue:Maybe he's just tapped out. You had a big one yesterday, man. You had like a 40-second one. You said barely anything about that, man. Can't even remember that one. Yeah. Okay, all right, man. Jeez, back off. Jeez. All right. You know, I looked over into B Studio ago before and he had a bag of chocolates and he was guzzling them. Salted peanuts. The whole bag. Yeah. Just absolutely opening his gun and just absolutely giving himself dead. I was throating it. It was, yeah, they were delicious. Pugs. That's enough.

23:49Keyzie:Come on, man.

23:51Mike Minogue:It's gross. Come on here and talk about guzzling chocolates. Jesus.

23:58Keyzie:It's not appropriate. We have a certain standard on this show Do we? Massively Massively We do have a certain standard

24:06Mike Minogue:Yes Hey fellas Coming up next I've got a massive favour to ask of you guys It might be the biggest favour I've ever asked It might be the biggest favour I've ever asked of either of you Keen And you can always say no of course Yes But it would help me out if you said yes

24:24Keyzie:No Wait

24:25Mike Minogue:I haven't I haven't even asked you yet

24:28Keyzie:I'm just getting in early, Keezy. Stone Temple Pilots.

24:35Mike Minogue:The Hauraki Big Show. Weekdays from four on Radio Hauraki.

24:39Keyzie:Yes, indeed. Jed there on the Hauraki Big Show this Thursday afternoon. The time is 5.13.

24:45Mike Minogue:Fellas, I'm going away on holiday in a couple of weeks' time. I'm going to Japan. Yeah, man. Man! Which I'm very excited about. Yeah, I know. I'm fizzed up. I've never been before. And I'm also, I've sold my house. My first house, I've sold it. and I have to be out by the end of October, right? Which means the next few weeks are kind of, if I want to avoid maybe getting a rental in the interim, I have to basically find a house, buy it, and line it up so that I can move in at the end of next month. I'm also away on holiday for two weeks. So it's kind of everything's happening at once. It's quite stressful.

25:19Mike Minogue:Yeah.

25:20Keyzie:You want Mogi and I to go on the holiday so you can stay at home. You think that's the favour I'm asking? Well, the thing about Elizabeth, You've got a huge decision coming up. You've got to buy a house. You can't buy a house if you're not here. I don't know if you know that. So the easiest thing is that Hoity Jo and I go on the holiday.

25:36Mike Minogue:Yeah. Well, then who's going to go on your Australia holiday with your family? Oh, my wife. Oh, yeah, actually, Pugs could do that, yeah, because we won't be here. So I stay here. Yeah. You and Mogey go on a cool trip that I've organised. Yeah. Well, we'll make a few changes to the itinerary I don't think we'll be aligned with. I don't want to do the bullet train or anything. Why not the bullet train? That's literally how everyone gets around. Anyway, this is by the by, fellas. Yes. An issue's popped up, and this is something I was worried about. A house has popped up that I quite like. Okay.

26:07Keyzie:Yep.

26:07Mike Minogue:Now, I'm away this weekend in Christchurch, which is really annoying because that's when the open homes are. And then next weekend I fly to Japan, so I'm going to have to organise a private viewing next week at some point. I've still got to organise it. And then the auction happens while I'm still in Japan.

26:24Keyzie:Oh, okay. Gotcha.

26:26Mike Minogue:So I've done some research into this, and I can be on the phone at the auction, and they can sort of scan or fax me across all the documents to sign and blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. But it's recommended that you have like a trusted person.

26:40Keyzie:A man on the ground, as it were. Somebody to hold the phone?

26:43Mike Minogue:It doesn't have to be a man. Or a woman. Okay, a woman. Great. In this case, it would be. Oh. Men. Yes. I was thinking maybe you guys could attend the auction. I'll be on the phone and I will have signed everything and given you authority to bid on my behalf.

26:59Keyzie:Well, don't sign anything before it's decided. On that note, Keezy, I don't know if we need you on the phone. What do you mean? Well, because you're on holiday. Yeah. And it's a massive distraction. I think you just send us along and then you come home and you move into your new house.

27:14Mike Minogue:But obviously, if the price gets out of reach, I don't want to buy it. Well, obviously. Look, Keezy. But then you just set a limit and you stick to the limit. It doesn't require you. If the limit is the limit, what's the problem?

27:26Keyzie:Yeah, look, if there's one thing I know, Keezy, it's auctions. All right?

27:31Mike Minogue:Every time you've gone to auction, Jase, you've accidentally bought the wrong thing. So, yeah, I mean, Mogi's absolutely right. No, no, look, I'd prefer it if I was on the phone because I can watch a live stream as well. I can see it all. I'm on the phone, so it's like I'm there. I just need a couple of warm bodies there. Right. Just raising the old hand, and then you say, oh, you know, the bidding's up to this much. Okay, okay, add 10 grand or something, and then you bid. Is that all good? I don't really like being micromanaged like that. I just want to have a little chat and then you just set us free.

28:00You'll set us free in the auction room.

28:02Mike Minogue:I'd love to set you free, Muggie, but just not in this particular situation. There's too much on the line. I think you'll be holding on too tight, Keezy. I think you'll bugger it up. I'll bugger it up. I think you'll butcher it, man. Already I've got a vibe like you're going to pay too much. That's the vibe I'm getting.

28:18Keyzie:Because they can hear you panic, can't they, down the phone line. You're very sweaty at the moment too, Keezy. I can just tell that. Jason and I ooze a certain amount of cool when it comes to this sort of thing. Totally, man. Can you read this face, Keezy? Can you read it? No, you can't, can you?

28:34Mike Minogue:God knows what's going on in there. Yeah. There's so many lines as well, it'll take me an eternity to read it. But fellas, I was hoping that maybe you would agree to doing that. How about this? Instead of, why don't we do a practice run? A dummy run. Dummy run, right? Yeah, okay. I'll be on the phone. We'll have someone playing an auctioneer, maybe Mogi. Yeah. And, Jase, you're bidding on my behalf, all right?

28:57Keyzie:Sure, man, no problem.

28:58Mike Minogue:Let's do that next. Oh, yeah, a bit of wheeze. The Hauraki Big Show with Jase, Mike, and Keezy. Tune in weekdays at 4 on Radio Hauraki.

29:09Keyzie:Yes, indeed, the Foo Fighters there on the Hauraki Big Show this Thursday afternoon. The time is 5.25, which means it's time for... Quiet on set. Sound speed. Lights. Camera! Action. Now it's time for the Big Show Improv! Okay, this is the scenario. Keezy's going to be overseas in Japan, and there's a house that he's very interested in buying. There's going to be an auction while he's away, and he wants to know if one of us or both of us, Mogi, could go to the live auction and have him on the phone so potentially we could bid for him, right? That's right, and look, it's an honour. It's a responsibility, can I say that?

29:51Our feeling is we're better off just leaving Keezy out of it completely because he's going to bugger up because he stresses out too much. He does. He does. But he's insisting, so we're going to give it a little go. So I guess we rip in. I'm going to be the auctioneer today. Yeah, nice. We've got Pugs on here. He's going to be a little bit of a bitter there, Jase. You're going to be holding the phone and talking to Keezy. Yeah. Keezy, can you hear us, mate? G'day, guys. Yeah, loud and clear.

30:15Keyzie:Whereabouts in Japan are you? Oh, I'm just in Tokyo, man. Okay, cool. Bloody good, all right. Well, let's rip in, eh? Yes, man. And action. Ladies and gentlemen, welcome to today's auction. What an opportunity we have here before us. A once-in-a-generation chance to own what can only really be described as a house. Freestanding for now. Three bedrooms, original. original kitchen, original bathroom, north-facing deck, south-facing mould and lovely indoor-outdoor flow through a hole in the lounge wall. What?

30:56Mike Minogue:That wasn't there before. Something of a do-up you could say, but in the right hands I think you could raise a really happy family with a certain amount of sickness in the children to start off with, given the chill. Okay, we'll get ourselves underway here. Who's going to start me at$200 ,000? Jase, Jase, Jase, open the bidding, man. Open the bidding. Yes, 200. Okay, 200 ,000. Thank you, sir. We're underway. Do I see$250 ,000? $250 ,000. Ah,$250 ,000. What's our limit here, Kazzy? And a quarter of a million dollars. Anybody else? Anybody else? Quarter of a million. No, no, no. Sorry, sir. Quarter of a million.

31:35Oh, apologies. Sorry. Do you want to have another turn?

31:38Mike Minogue:Don't bid without asking me first, man. So go 300, 300.

31:43Keyzie:Okay, yes. 600. $600 ,000. Well, that's a hell of a leap. Certainly more than I'd be paid, but$600 ,000. You sure? Yeah, absolutely. $600 ,000 it is. $600 ,000 do I here? $650 ,000. $650 ,000. $650 ,000. $650 ,000. $650 ,000. Do I hear$750 ,000?

32:04$950 ,000. Don't worry about this, Keezy. I've got this, mate. This man knows more than I do. I tell you what. A reminder here, gentlemen, ladies and gentlemen, you're not simply buying a house. You're buying a project. Okay, this is something special that you're going to be doing for years. 1 ,050 ,000.

32:19Keyzie:Jase, you already win it, Jase. 1 ,050 ,000 to the man who was already leading the bidding. Anybody else? 1 ,100 ,000. 1 ,010 ,000. Leave him, Jase. Leave him.

32:30Mike Minogue:Leave him. I don't want it. It's too expensive. Sorry, what was that? What was the price? Currently sitting at 1.1 million dollars. Jase, Jase, walk out of there. 1.4. 1.5. Jase. Hang up the phone. Wait, no, don't hang up the phone. Walk out of the auction room. Two million. Sold. What? You didn't even give him a chance? Sold. Congratulations, Keezy. Yes. Congratulations, man. Jeez. Yes, Keezy. We did it, mate. Cutting there. But what a great, what a treat.

33:08Keyzie:That was shit. Two million dollars. I tell you, that's a bargain.

33:13Mike Minogue:The Hauraki Big Show Weekdays from 4 on Radio Hauraki

33:18Keyzie:Bush there on the Hauraki Big Show This Thursday afternoon The time is 5.38 exactly Fellas as you know I've been having ongoing issues With my sleep as a result Of having a tui Parked up outside of my window In the surrounding trees there Starts his day off Around about 4am Yes Gets to chirping and singing in that. Apparently it's because he wants to do a little bit of shagging. You heard about shagging, Keyes?

33:46Mike Minogue:A little bit of loving. Oh, I've heard of it. Certainly heard of it. I've read about it. And also just wants to let other male birds know that this is his patch. Yes. And that annoys me a little bit because that means that if it's his patch then I'm being dominated. Yes. Because I'm a male. He's done you there. He's doing me every day. He's absolutely done you there. Waking me up in the morning doing me 4am Atui. Are you telling me Atui is better than old Mogey? At the moment, yes. Yeah. I'm getting done. Yeah. By a bird. Now, it occurred to me that the solution to my problem has been hiding under my not insignificant beak this whole time.

34:27Oh, okay. And it's old Hoity Jizz. Oh! Now, Hoity Jizz, for those of you who don't know, haven't been listening to the show for a while, Hoity J invented scarecrowing. Yes. Back in the day, you used to wander through the rice paddies of Japan. That was Vietnam. Oh, Vietnam. I always get it mixed up. Sorry. You would scare off the crows and you made a pretty penny.

34:50Mike Minogue:I did. And your technique was revolutionary. You'd have your arms out.

34:54Keyzie:Seriously, back in those days, more dong than I could take. And that's saying something. Oh, the currency. Yes. What? Yes, the currency. Now, of course, you made an absolute fortune over the course of a couple of years there until people worked out that they could just sort of get a bit of string, tie two sticks together and chuck an old jersey on it and fling a sort of a hat on top of it. Yeah, a little bit of a straw hat or something.

35:20Mike Minogue:Sort of did the same thing. Well, they actually found out it did a better job. Anyway, I haven't got any of that stuff lying around the house. I was hoping, Hoity J, that you could come around to my place. I can hire you as a scarecrow and you can stand out of my front deck there. with your arms out and just scare this tui off. How's that sound? Sounds really good, man. There's room and board in it for you, so you'll be living with me from now on. Lock it in. Very keen. What about your wife? Pardon? What about your wife and your daughter? What will they do?

35:52Keyzie:They'll be fine, man. We're not talking at the moment.

35:56Mike Minogue:Still silent treatment?

36:01Yeah, well, something's got to be done. And, Jason, in terms of your family, I think that's fine. They know you're away earning the big bucks. Yeah, totally. When I say the big bucks, I mean room and board.

36:09Keyzie:I'm off bringing home the dong, darling.

36:11Mike Minogue:So you insist on getting paid in dong?

36:13Keyzie:Yeah, that's just the only currency I know.

36:18Mike Minogue:But you've lived in New Zealand for almost 40 years.

36:20Keyzie:Yeah, but I got cards for New Zealand keys. Yeah, right. That's true. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Okay, so you're keen to do it? Yeah, what time are you thinking? Well, I mean, if you can't. When would you like me there? Look, I'll give you time to not tell your wife about it because you're giving her the silent treatment, but to write a note and leave it on the kitchen counter before you walk out the door. It starts Monday. Monday, yeah. Monday. You come around after work and then 4am. I think you should probably be out there about 2am. Yep, sweet. But I'll be buggered if I'm going to get done by a tui.

36:48Keyzie:So you're going to go around to mogies? Could you? Yeah, yeah, totally. That's not an issue. Make me a coffee, though, at some point. Oh, yeah. Just not too strong. Ha, ha, burn.

36:59Mike Minogue:The Hauraki Big Show with Jase, Mike and Kesey Tune in weekdays at 4 on Radio Hauraki

37:05Keyzie:Enjoy the vision there on the Hauraki Big Show This Thursday afternoon, the time 5.48 Fellas, just having a little bit of a chat there About the fact that I've got this tui that's doing me every day Yes Outside my window, 4am singing Trying to get a mate and being territorial Being territorial over what I have to say is my territory Yes But I don't get up and shout at the tui, do I? Wake it up Why is it taking the piss out of me? Yeah. So we came up with one solution. That is that, Jase, you're going to move in with me, room and board there, and you're going to be a scarecrow for me. So that's step one.

37:39What we really need to happen – I don't know if that's a long-term solution, though, you know? Oh, I'm keen. But what we need to do is find a solution. We need to get this Tui mated up.

37:49Mike Minogue:Well, we don't need to – we could do that and another solution at the same time. Well, that's what I'm saying. So while Jace is scarecrowing, I was thinking, we've had a text through here on 3483 about this. The idea being that we get your pigeon that you bought that did a bunch of racing down south completely unsuccessfully, and we get it up here and we paint it up to look like a tui and then chuck it in the nest with this bastard, and that might shut him up. Right, okay. So a mating situation. Yeah, okay. First of all, that's a great text on 3483. I think we should give them a re-burger voucher.

38:26Keyzie:Yeah, yeah, nice. Is that Keezy on all beaks looking over his wing with me, Keezy? No, it's Keezy on all wings looking over his beak. Oh, yeah, sorry. I always get that confused.

38:34Mike Minogue:On all beaks. That's right, my racing pigeon. And now the season's over. Yes. I paid 400 bucks. Surely I own the pigeon. Well, totally you do, mate. 100 % you do. Okay, so the issue with the pigeon is if I drive down to Oamaru to the bird club there and pick it up, my rightful property. it'll fly home again. No, no, no. I think this is a trick you see. I think you need to fly it up here. You need to fly it up here. Fly it up? Yeah, fly it up. It should fly by itself. I don't see why you should have to dry it. I've got wings, Kesey. No, no, no. Have wings will fly. I know that it has wings and it can fly but it's a homing pigeon and the way it works is it goes back to wherever it came out of its egg.

39:12Mike Minogue:It goes back to its nest, wherever it was raised. You write in a dress down on a bit of paper, you tie it around its neck and you say, go home. You whisper to it. Oh, really? I thought it just returned back to... I think, fellas, that is a really good idea.

39:26Keyzie:Can I just add just a little finessing to it? Yeah. Because we want the tui to take to. Yes. Keezy on all wings.

39:35Mike Minogue:Yes. Looking over his beak with me, Keezy.

39:36Keyzie:And we can paint it up and make it look the part. That's right. How about when the pigeon first goes into the nest with the tui, you come across to Mogi's house and make up a little cheese platter, Some crackers Maybe some honey and water Or something like that Like you know just set the scene Okay so

39:59Mike Minogue:I'm there I'm making a charcuterie board Some margarita skewers Some margarita skewers Maybe some sort of tiramisu Or hearty beef lasagna Yes exactly Jace is standing a few feet away from me With his arms out And Mogi you're asleep I'm assuming Well, I don't want the tui to get spooked, so I'll be staying well away. Yeah, yeah, you stay out of it, Mo. But I think me making a cheese board would spook it, don't you? No, no, no. I think that's absolutely fine because I've already warmed the bird up because I've already built the bird bath up there. It's got the disco ball up there. I even built a little sauna.

40:43Mike Minogue:Wow. Do you reckon? Now, this was with a view to a track denimate, if you remember that. We thought because it's a hideous looking Tui that it might get a mate because it's got a cool pad. That's right. That hasn't worked at all. When you say you built a sauna, you didn't just put a microwave up in the tree, did you? You mind your business, Keezy. The Hauraki Big Show with Jase, Mike and Keezy. Tune in weekdays at four on Radio Hauraki.

41:09Keyzie:Welcome back, your massive backbones. Hope you're surviving your Thursday. You are listening to The Big Show, brought to you by ReBiGear.

41:16Mike Minogue:Craveworthy street food freshly made with Reburger. I can't believe it. It's street food, but it's so unbelievably craveworthy.

41:27Keyzie:Yes, and they have beef, chicken, vegan and vegetarian options. Yum. Yum. Do you think he did that one again because we rocked him up a bit? He just banged that one out.

41:43Mike Minogue:That's actually an older one.

41:44Keyzie:Yeah, yeah. I know, but he put it back in the system.

41:47Mike Minogue:No, it's been in the system for ages. The main problem we've got here is that Keezy is the curator for the ones that get played. You're blaming Pugs on.

41:54Keyzie:Yeah, you're right, Mogi. Come on, Keezy. What? All together, man. What are you guys having for dinner, man? No, but wait. Before that, I want to ask a question. The Perth Bears? When did that happen? Does Perth have bears? No, it's from northern Sydney. So the original club and it got dropped out of the ARL back in the day. The Northern Bears, they were called there. That club's been given a lifeline. It's going to be the new club in the NRL, but it has to go all the way over to Perth, which is a bit of a kick in the guts, to be honest.

42:30Mike Minogue:Yeah. They're a proud history. Yeah. One of the old clubs too, isn't it? So they're now over in Perth because they want to expand and cover more of Australia, not just have all the teams in one spot. Weakening the competition in the meantime and making it a worse product that goes on for too long. Yes, yeah, adding more stuff to the mix. We've seen it with other competitions. And it's happening at the same time as the PNG Chiefs team, which they don't get taxed if you sign for them. You don't pay tax. Because nobody wants to go and play in Papua New Guinea, so you pay no tax. So they're trying to attract players at the same time as you're effectively winning the lottery if you're signed with Papua New Guinea.

43:04Right, OK. So, no, I did hear that. And it's been an absolute debacle. Yeah, yeah. Why do you pay no tax? Because that's a rule that the government of Australia has brought in for that specific team because the whole idea behind bringing in a PNG team is to give it a positioning within the Pacific because otherwise China was going to get in there with all their money and take over and then they'd have a position in the Pacific. So it's a completely political move. It's got nothing to do with sports. It's a disgrace.

43:33Mike Minogue:But in other news, I've been offered a contract to do radio over in PNG. I'm thinking about taking it. Oh, you should. You should, man. You'd go off over there. I was just joking. Do you guys like incubus? Oh, God, I used to. Yeah, look. Wow, too bad, right? Suck on this. The Hauraki Big Show, weekdays from four on Radio Hauraki.

43:56Keyzie:Smashing pumpkins there on the Hauraki Big Show this Thursday evening. The time is 6.14. Keezy's not going to be doing the show tomorrow because he's going to be in Christchurch. And we were talking off air and he was saying that he's got a massive issue with his in-laws.

44:13Mike Minogue:Jase Yeah I don't know if we should be talking about this on air

44:18Keyzie:I'll be honest Sometimes we skirt the line on this show This is making me uncomfortable This is straight up the gut Yeah

44:26Mike Minogue:Well maybe if you just hear me out You'll realise it's not actually an issue at all

44:31Keyzie:I don't know if we should Okay I don't want to Make this any worse than it is I worry for you

44:40Mike Minogue:Yeah Right, well, perhaps if I just tell you the situation, maybe your worries will be put to rest. I just want to make sure that before you get into this,

44:54Keyzie:you've spoken to your wife about it, this issue.

44:57Mike Minogue:Well, no, it's not an issue. I don't speak to my wife every time I talk about my in-laws. I'm not some sort of crybaby. Are you giving her the silent treatment? No. You said you're not talking to her. What I said, I don't talk to her every time I bring up my in-laws. God, you fall apart under questioning, Keezy. I do worry. Hey, so fellas, I've got an issue with my in-laws. Oh. Not really an issue, to be honest. No, tomorrow night, my wife is out with the girls having a girls' dinner. Isn't it a woman's dinner? What do you call that? How old is she? She's good. She's thick. What? What were you saying?

45:34Huh?

45:36Mike Minogue:It's a girl. They call it girls' dinner. And apparently none of the partners... Not dinner with the girls? No, it's a girls' dinner is what she's calling it. And apparently the partners aren't allowed to go. Oh, you're good. Don't you're good. Are you a girl, Keezy? Are you fuming about that? Well, traditionally, the partners were allowed to go, and now all of a sudden we're just doing girls' dinners. Why? Because the husbands and partners meet up and get way more steam than the girls and ruin it? Maybe? You're saying off here that you're chalking that one up as a win. Didn't help matters with the in-laws, I can tell you.

46:13Mike Minogue:Well, come on, man, out with it.

46:19Mike Minogue:Nah, it's all good, actually. I've thought about it. I should probably check this with my wife before I talk about it, fellas, actually. You're right.

46:28Mike Minogue:So let's just...

46:29Keyzie:Just going to leave it at that, are you? Yeah, smart move. Yeah. Don't stop it there.

46:35Mike Minogue:The Hauraki Big Show. Weekdays from four on Radio Hauraki.

46:39Keyzie:You two there on the Hauraki Big Show this Thursday evening.

46:44Mike Minogue:Fellas, big dick energy is on again with tradetested.co.nz. Super easy. You can win two and a half grand's worth of gear for your backyard, delivered straight to your front door. Whoa. Thanks to Trade Tested. All you do, go to tradetested.co.nz, put together a shopping list up to$2 ,500, and then screenshot it and upload it at hodaki.co.nz. A lot of people have done exactly that, fellas. Let's go through some shopping lists here. Now, one person has ordered$40 worth of weed mat, an outdoor reclining chair, a steam mop, an outdoor sofa lounge set, and a storage box. Okay. How much does that come to, Keezy?

47:24Mike Minogue:Well, they've actually been quite sensible. That only comes to$2 ,070. They've got$430 left there. Right.

47:29Keyzie:Shocker.

47:30Mike Minogue:God, yeah, you've got plenty you could get for$400 at trade tested. Well, 100%. And then yesterday that one guy had four grand's worth of stuff. Yeah.

47:38Keyzie:He got too greedy.

47:39Mike Minogue:Too greedy. This person not greedy enough. This person's gone for a Longhorn Barbecue Five Burner, which is$1 ,400, and a$1 ,000 outdoor corner suite. Oh, yeah. Just a straight-up barbecue and a nice couch suite. Barbecue and a couch. Yeah, nice. Yeah, beautiful.

47:55Keyzie:Are you fired up about having a few Barbies, fellas? We're getting into that time of the year. I don't own one. Oh, don't you? I don't own one. Actually, neither do I. There you go. And you've got no balcony or anything. No barbecues for you, man. Exactly. You're out. So all of our barbecues are going to be around at Keezy's. Yeah, that's true.

48:10Mike Minogue:I've never owned a barbecue. Have you not? And that's what I'm most excited about is this new place I hopefully buy will have an outdoor area. The first thing I'm doing is getting a barbecue. Is that the first thing you're doing? Well, obviously, Mo, I probably - You should put your furniture in there and unpack all your boxes in there. And maybe, you know, pay your deposit and stuff. Wow, obviously. Yeah, talk to the lawyers.

48:31Keyzie:Yeah, sign the contract and all that. But the first thing you're going to do is buy a barbecue.

48:36Mike Minogue:Okay. Well, obviously not the first thing, fellas. I've never heard of that.

48:39Keyzie:No, this is sort of just a what? Just on that front, by the way, Mogi and I, this is a bloody amazing prize. It is. Going to give one of these away tomorrow on the show. So make sure you bloody do it, because how good would it be to get two and a half grand worth of stuff for summer?

48:55Mike Minogue:Well, this person here has gone to tradetester.co.nz and got a Hyundai wood chipper, 15 horsepower, 308 with an electric start, exactly$2 ,499. Wow. Now we're talking.

49:09Keyzie:I don't know what any of those are. A wood chipper. It's just one thing. What, you put wood and it turns it into chips? Yum. You love chips.

49:16Mike Minogue:Not potato chips, Jay. That's great for you, man. Wood chips. Right, yeah. They've obviously got a massive garden they need to chip up. Wouldn't you just rent one? Well, 100%. I don't know what they're planning.

49:28Keyzie:Maybe they're thinking of starting their own little business On the side with a wood chipper Doing what? Wood chipping

49:36Mike Minogue:Tradetested.co.nz Put a shopping list together up to 2500 bucks And then upload it at hodaki.co.nz And don't forget make your deck great With Trade Tested fellas The Hodaki Big Show with Jace, Mike and Keezy Tune in weekdays at 4 on Radio Hodaki

49:52Keyzie:Green Day Big Show Just trying something a bit different there fellas I didn't like it On to the next one Just do-do-sh, do-do-sh. Hey, hey, listen. Massive night for me last night. And it's actually not just this particular restaurant. It's happening all over the city, I'm noticing. Right. I went to Hot Pot, as I said I was going to do last night.

50:15Mike Minogue:Now, Hot Pot, that's a Hot Pot restaurant. Yes. And it's a Chinese type of meal where you get a whole lot of ingredients and put a hot soup in it. Yes. And you're addicted to it.

50:22Keyzie:I am. Anyway, I filled up, and the woman saw me, who runs the joint. And she went, oh, and gave me a big sort of hello and smile. And I was like, oh, that's nice. And then I went up to the counter to order what broth I wanted with it. Broth boy. Broth boy, they call me. Do they? And she said, signature house medium. And I went, yes, that's right. Wow. And she smiled and she said, do you like it spicy? And I went, I do, I do. And I went, God. And everyone in this sort of restaurant just stopped and were like, whoo. and clapping. They clapped you ordering a hot pot. And I was like high-fiving people.

51:02Keyzie:Yeah. Genuinely, it made me feel like a part of something. A community. A community, if you will. Of addicts. And I've actually noticed this around the, you know, another cafe that I go to. They're now greeting me like a regular. Is that because you're a regular? Yeah, because I'm regular. Yeah. I'm there all the time and I just wanted a few fellas have ever, you know, I can imagine Kesey, you know, that there must be bars around the place where you walk and they go, Hey, Kiki!

51:30Mike Minogue:Hey! Nah, I live out west and it's run by the Waitakere Trust.

51:36Keyzie:Oh yeah, it sucks out there for bars.

51:37Mike Minogue:And there's like two bars. It sucks. But I was a member of the local RSA for a long time, about six years. And we'd walk in there and I remember there's some young fellas running the bar there and they'd sometimes recognise us and, you know, g'day, how you going? And the locals started recognising us as well. And this one guy came up and he's just like, oh man, Seen you around here a couple of times, eh? How often do you come here? And I'm like, oh, I come here quite a bit, you know, maybe like once or twice a month. He's like, oh, yeah, mean. And then I was like, what about you? He's like, oh, six nights a week.

52:09Yeah.

52:09Mike Minogue:So I thought I was a regular. Yeah, yeah, yeah. But he was a regular.

52:12Keyzie:Yeah, he's a proper.

52:13Mike Minogue:Yeah, yeah, yeah.

52:14Keyzie:That story doesn't feel true to me.

52:16Mike Minogue:What? Sorry, but people high-fiving you about Hot Pot. Did that actually happen? Yes, Keezy. Mogi, have you ever been a regular? It was more of a lo-fi. It was a mix. Yeah, over the way here, actually, is the most recent one. Really? We've got the sushi shop over the road here. Oh, yes. It's got a half price from$3.30. I wander in. Clear it out. Push to the front of the line. She sees me and says, ah. Oh, yes. I've never had a woman so happy to see me. Yes. I'll be completely honest with you. Every single day, she lights up when she sees me. Totally. Because she knows she's getting rid of all of her karage.

52:54eh? And what are those little... Shumai. Shumai. Port Shumai. They're gone. Yes. And she loves seeing me, but she's also laughing at me. Yeah. As in, you know, you could go somewhere else, but why would I? Yeah, yeah. It's so delicious.

53:11Mike Minogue:The thing that's funny about Moggy at that sushi shop is there'll be people milling about waiting at 3.28. That's right. Moggy will walk straight to the counter at 3.28, ask if it's half price, and then say, cool, I want... He doesn't even ask. He just goes. Yeah. I never ask. I act like it's 3.30. Yeah, right. And because I'm a regular and she's so happy to see me, I get treated like a regular. That's the perks of being a regular Keezy. Yeah, man. You know what I mean? Yeah, yeah. If you want to mill around, well, I don't know what you're doing there. Go to a mill. I don't know what... Oh, God.

53:45Mike Minogue:The Hauraki Big Show. Weekdays from four on Radio Hauraki.

53:54Keyzie:Well, there you go, you mad bastards. That's the big show done and dusted this Thursday evening. And what a show it's been, fellas. In the disclaimer podcast today, what clip have you got there for us, Keezy?

54:07Mike Minogue:Today we kind of went into, in depth, into being on the dole. Oh, yes, we did. Yeah, yeah. Dole chat. Dole chat. Here's a clip of it. Comes out at 7.30 tonight. What you get to do is just have a little bit of a think. Yes. A bit of a chat. Talk about the state of the world with your mates. Play chess. Get stoned. Drink piss. Yes. And eat toast. And eat toast, yes. And sort of, for some reason, wallow around in your own filth. It's not very clean. No, no. That sounds great, fellas. Yeah.

54:39Keyzie:It was a good time. It was a good time. Yep. It was a good time. Mogi, your plans for the evening? You going to stay up again tonight? Probably because I'm going to watch another movie. I've got another movie with the missus tonight there, fellas. but I was meant to be going to a sort of a birthday party for this joint and I thought I'd got a ticket so it was all planned around that but then I came into the office today I don't have a ticket so I get to go home instead. That was close, I nearly went out and socialised Woo! So yeah, straight home after this fellas and just quite home there with the missus.

55:13The brother-in-law has moved out you see. Right, okay

55:16Keyzie:yes, yeah yeah nice

55:18Mike Minogue:Nice. Keezy? To the airport first. Oh, yes, of course. Yeah. Flying to Christchurch tonight. Got a baby shower tomorrow. Family baby shower. We'll probably talk about that on the show tomorrow, Jase. Yeah, his baby shower. At length. Well, no, it's a cousin of ours. Not ours. It's a cousin of my wife. We're not related.

55:35Keyzie:Well, it's really interesting because usually men don't get invited to baby showers.

55:39Mike Minogue:Oh, I'm not going. I'm playing golf. You see? So the whole thing falls apart, doesn't it? So she's going to the baby shower. You know the slightest bit of sort of examination there. Yeah. And the whole reason for getting the day off. I don't know. I don't know if the brass are going to be. What do I tell Bogsy? Michael Boggs, chairman of NZME.

55:56Keyzie:Chairman of CEO. I might take the day off tomorrow to make a baby. Yeah, sure. All right? I'd like to see that. Do it.

56:06Mike Minogue:Yeah, I'd pay to see that. I'd love to see that. Would you? You sucker. No, I actually wouldn't. I definitely would not. What are you doing tonight, Jase?

56:16Keyzie:Oh, tonight. Well, very, very, very similar to Mogey, actually. I think we were planning to go out. Well, that might actually be tomorrow night, but that's been cancelled. Oh, just say you want to. I'll just interrupt you there, man. Have you been watching Slow Horses? Oh, no. What's that on again? Apple TV.

56:36Mike Minogue:Can you sort out your subscription, please?

56:39Keyzie:Hey, take care out there. Look at the podcast. Listen to the podcast. Look at the Instagram. Till tomorrow. Goodbye. Bye.