FULL SHOW: Insults To The Chef

11:48Mike Minogue:Because how much did you spend on your phone, Jase?

11:51Keyzie:I think it was about five or six K. Was it? Yeah, something like that. But that's outrageous though, isn't it? What else does it do other than have too many screens that are necessary?

12:02Mike Minogue:Look, I don't know. It must have some pretty good features because, as I say, a laptop, like I've got one of the little ones, whatever they're called. Yeah, one of those, exactly. And then I've previously had a MacBook Pro. They went for about$2 ,500. They might be up to almost$3 ,000 now. So what are we doing that's$6 ,700? I'm going to go out and a limb. Taking the piss? Yeah, well, you are taking the piss. Taking the piss, that's it. I'm going to go out and a limb and say it's got something to do with the fact that it's in a lot more of a compressed space. And the foldable screen technology, I have no idea.

12:32Mike Minogue:Yeah, yeah, yeah. And the other thing is Ramageddon. Ramageddon. Have you heard about Ramageddon? The price of ram is through the roof thanks to AI.

12:43Keyzie:Yeah, what I was going to say is this maybe got some correlation with the AI chat we were having earlier.

12:49Mike Minogue:The insemination. I know what you're thinking, J.S. But he's thinking of actual rams and the artificial insemination, whereas I'm talking about ram. Give him the ram. Ram. No, no, no. I'm not talking about getting a ram. I'm talking about RAM that is in memory and that. It's like ROM. Like ROM. No, it's not. But it's RAM. Yeah. There's RAM and ROM. Yeah. Right, okay.

13:10Keyzie:To be honest with you, man, that's stupid. That is stupid. Can I ask this question of the audience out there? Would you buy one? I don't want to talk to the people who are sane and wouldn't buy one, but I'm interested to know from the people that would buy one. Yeah. And I guess why.

13:26Mike Minogue:And I think the one that most people would go for is the entry-level$4 ,200 one. Yeah, I mean, what world are the people living in? I don't know. Yeah, I reckon. Dog squad money, man. Jeez. I reckon. The Horaki Big Show with Jace, Mike and Keezy. Tune in weekdays at four on Radio Horaki. One simple question, one weekend of a lifetime. Would you rather?

13:51Keyzie:Yes, indeed, Waisal Cars, you decide New Zealand. and two amazing prizes, whichever way you go, basically. Whichever way you go. What you could do is, you know, win this competition

14:04Mike Minogue:and then go to the grand final, the NRL grand final. Hopefully watch the WARS, and then two weeks later go to Bathurst. Oh. You know, on your own dime. Yeah, that's true. If you're planning on going to Bathurst or planning on going to the grand final, you could try and win the other one and do both. That's right. How good. How good. I mean, I don't know if I'd stick around for a couple of weeks to go to it. Although, if the Warriors won the grand final, tie one on for a couple of weeks. Yeah, just have a party. Sleep for a couple of days and then boom. Into Batfest. They'd come back a shell of a humour.

14:35Keyzie:Yeah, how good. It'd be so good. How good. G'day, Lizzie. How's life?

14:40Mike Minogue:Good. I'm good, OJ. How are you?

14:42Keyzie:Yeah, good. Thank you. Tell me, Lizzie, what do you do for a crust?

14:47Mike Minogue:I'm an accountant, but I'm actually on parental leave at the moment with a four-month-old. Double backbone. Is that your first little kitty there? No, it's actually I was second and it's your guys' fault because I wrote in to meet Kitty Nuts and he told me to fill my boots and go again. Yeah. I don't know if you know this, Lizzie. We tell a lot of lies on this show. A lot of lies. You really screwed it up, man. We'll do one, so you may as well have another. Yeah, exactly, and that is 100 % true. That is true. Have you named it after a member of the big show, perchance? Actually, if it was a boy, we were going to call it Parker.

15:26Keyzie:Parker. Actually, that's a really good name, Parker. I like it.

15:33Mike Minogue:I forgot about Parker in front of birds.

15:35Keyzie:Good stuff. Hey, Lizzie. I'm not a girl, actually. Yeah, well, girls rule, man. Girls rule. Maybe Lady Penelope.

15:43Mike Minogue:M 'lady.

15:44Keyzie:M 'lady. Lizzie, what are you going with, wahs or cars? Wahs. Yeah, good on you. All righty, Lizzie. Well, good luck, mate.

15:53Mike Minogue:Yeah, good luck with the kid. Hey, and have a third. It only gets better, eh, Jase? Yeah, man. Go four, Lizzie. Go four. The haughty day special. You hold the line there, Lizzie, and Pugs will put you in the drawer.

16:05Keyzie:G'day, Bobby, you mad bastard. How's life? Great. How are you boys? Yeah, very, very. You're sounding like you're having a great day, Bobby. I'm having a massive migraine, but you boys just made my day better.

16:19Mike Minogue:Oh, how good. They actually may cause migraines, actually, so that's good. Bobby, what do you do for a crust? I'm a nurse at Nelson Hospital. Oh, that is a backbone. Good on you, mate.

16:30Keyzie:Massive backbone. Bloody oath. I tell you what, the old bloody migraines aren't to be messed with. I used to get them in my teens. Oh, did you? Yeah, total blackout. Used to vomit. It was a nightmare. Growing pains, eh, as well. Yeah, maybe, maybe. Just the fact that I've got a massive head and honker.

16:49Mike Minogue:Hey, Bobby, are you thinking Waz or Cars, man? Warriors all the way, baby. Warriors all the way. Good on you, Bobby. I like the cut of your jib. You hold the line, Bobby. Good luck with the migraine.

17:00Keyzie:Thank you, boys.

17:01Mike Minogue:Thanks, mate. Yeah. Couple of fizzed up listeners there, fellas. Yeah, totally. For often. For often. At the end of the day, if you win this prize, you'll get three nights in Sydney with shuttles to and from Bathurst, both Saturday and Sunday. If you choose Cars or if you choose Waz, You once again go to Sydney, have the weekend of your life at the NRL Grand Final, and you go to the races on the Saturday to the Randwick races. Yeah. Have a peak way too early, have an absolute blowout. Yeah, yeah. And then feel like shit for the Grand Final. I'm pretty excited. I've got my flight over there. I haven't got a flight back.

17:32That's something of a concern, but we'll cross that bridge when we come to it there, fellas. Yeah, mate. And I've got a ticket, so I'm fizzing. But I'm also really stoked that I'm going to be going on the Sunday afternoon, so I arrive a few hours before kick-off.

17:45Keyzie:get stuck in. This might be the smartest thing I've ever done. Yeah, yeah, it's a good call there, Mogey. In the meantime, here's REM.

17:52Mike Minogue:The Hauraki Big Show with Jase, Mike and Keezy. Tune in weekdays at four on Radio Hauraki.

17:58Keyzie:Yes, indeed. Jimmy Eat World there on the Radio Hauraki Big Show this Thursday afternoon. The time is 4.51. Let's talk TV. What's on the telly with Mike Minogue?

18:14Yes! That's right. Fellas, last night I watched a movie. We had a couple of the stars in here yesterday afternoon, Jackie Van Beek and Johnny Braff. The film is called Mum, I'm Alien Pregnant. It's out at cinemas now. Great cast in it. It's got those two, obviously. It's also got Arlo Green, who seems to be in everything, but, jeez, he's a bloody good actor. Also, Hannah Lynch in the lead, Yvette Parsons as well, and a bit of a who's who of other supporting cast here and there.

18:45Mike Minogue:Those are all New Zealanders, right? All New Zealanders. And it's pretty much it says it on the label. A woman that's living with her mother ends up becoming pregnant to somebody else who lives at the sort of housing estate type set up that she lives at. And this guy is essentially half an alien. He's half alien. He's half alien because his mother, Jackie Van Beek, got abducted by aliens. Yeah, right. And inseminated. Not artificially, can I say that? Yeah. Very officially. Yeah, okay. Officially. And then had this kid, Arlo Green, who's now half an alien. Half alien. I didn't know that was how it worked.

19:25Oh, yeah. That's how it goes. Far out. Anyway, she gets pregnant. And the way that the aliens work, and I don't know if you know this, Keezy, but the pregnancy goes very, very quickly. It advances very quickly. The gestation period. The gestation period, which is beneficial for a movie that's about an hour and a half long. Perfect. Yes. So it's her becoming pregnant, realising she's pregnant, and then all of the issues that she's having with her body. It's in the sort of same vein as bad taste, and there is some weird sort of grossy-out stuff. You saw some of it, Jase, with me yesterday afternoon when we watched the first half hour of it.

20:00But at the same time, that's really funny. So it's like Peter Jackson's bad taste. So there's some gross-out stuff in it, but it is also really funny. but can I say a significantly better film in terms of the production value than Bad Taste was. That was very much of its time. These guys know how to direct. The acting is great. The script was really tight. It's really brilliantly made. Yeah, so all I can say is it comes out today. Go and watch it. I'm going to give it, I've got about 15 minutes to go sadly.

20:28Mike Minogue:And the issue is, right, because you guys know those people. You've been in stuff, movies and TV shows with them. Mate. You know, but you couldn't come on here and go, oh, one buzzy. Well, I tell you what, you wouldn't because, number one, they wouldn't choose to be in something that's garbage, and then when they're in it, it instantly elevates it. Johnny Brough is hilarious. Jackie Van Beek is one of the best actors that we've got in this country. Yvette Parsons is absolutely hilarious. She's very funny. And Arlo Green's a brilliant actor, and the lead who I had not seen before, Hannah Lynch, is really great as well.

20:56So I'm going to go three and a half, Buzzi's. It could go higher. I understand it's got a huge climax at the end of it as well, but get along and see it. It's really fun, really funny, and it's about an hour and a half, which straight away... It makes it three stars, all three buzies for me. Mum, I'm alien pregnant in cinemas now.

21:13Keyzie:I went to the theatre. Oh, you did? Last night. To see a play at the Basement Theatre. I believe it was called Eating Mangroves. It was Mangrove Eaters. Oh, Mangrove Eaters. I saw it the night before. Yes. Yes. Yeah, yeah. And can I just say, first and foremost, I've done a lot of shows in the basement. It was good to be back. Yeah, how long has it been? It's been literally years. Oh, wow. So it was kind of nostalgic to go back.

21:39Mike Minogue:Is this the thing, Mogi, you've told me about where when you've seen a play and you don't know how to comment on it, so you comment on, for example, the venue first? Oh, right. You know how you lead with that?

21:48Keyzie:It just flooded me with memories, Casey. And it's just down the road from you as well, James. And it's just down the road from me. No, look, I really enjoyed it. And what I enjoyed about it is it took me back to the enthusiasm I used to have doing theatre and all that sort of stuff when I used to love it. Yes. Before I became a cynical old bastard. That's right. You know what I mean? And it was written by two of the people in the play. Yeah. And I love the idea that there's young people getting out there and giving it a crack and giving it a nudge. And the audience really enjoyed it, and I enjoyed it too.

22:22Keyzie:I mean, I'll be honest with you, I didn't love the play, but I enjoyed the performances. Yeah, 100%. Sugar Ray Bruce. Yes, very good. One of the leads and also a writer on it, and she is a fantastic actor. And Zach Tamari is another one of the co-writers, and I'm pretty sure he's a co-writer, but also an actor. Those two are on Frank's books, along with you, Keezy. Yeah. You mad bastard.

22:47Mike Minogue:Frank being Mogi's agency. Oh, yeah, we should clarify that. There's just not a guy called Frank. By the way, coming up after 5 o 'clock, the Hauraki Big Show is heading down to the Dunedin Beer Festival. Wow. Thanks to our mates at Emerson's. And to celebrate that, Emerson's have made a special brew for the big show. It just needs a name. So text any beer ideas through on 3483 and you can win yourself an Emerson's hoodie.

23:10Keyzie:Oh, how good.

23:11Mike Minogue:Also coming up after five, a bit of improv. The Hauraki Big Show with Jace, Mike and Keezy. Tune in weekdays at four on Radio Hauraki.

23:21Keyzie:Messive backbones. Hope your Thursday isn't dragging its ass. You're listening to The Big Show, incidentally, brought to you by Rebegu.

23:28Mike Minogue:Craveworthy street food freshly made with Reburger. Yum, yum, yum, yum, yum, yum, yum, yum, yum.

23:33Keyzie:Fellas, just on Reburger, I've got an apology to the mate to Reburger in the next voice break. In the nest? In the next one.

23:41Mike Minogue:Oh, yeah, yeah. Yeah, yeah.

23:42Keyzie:In the next one. I feel like I betrayed them somewhat.

23:45Mike Minogue:Well, just clarifying, because I told a story last week or earlier this week. It was earlier this week, jeez. Wow. When I was really hungover, then I went and got a burger for breakfast at 10.30. Yeah. But it was from a competing restaurant. Mm. And I felt really bad, but then I was like, well, hang on. I don't have to swear off any burger that's not re-burger. Yes, you do. Do I? Yes. Well, if I remember correctly, they weren't open. No, they weren't open. 100 % they weren't open, yeah. There you go. You forgot that bit, eh? Yeah, well, I was very hungover, mate. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yes.

24:15Keyzie:And also coming up, too, on that front, it's going to be a bit of an apology session, really. I've got to apologise to one of our very loyal listeners who I bumped into last night. because I feel like I sold them under the bridge a little bit. Oh, yeah, right. You know what I'm saying? More like, oh, you sold them under the bridge. I think you sell someone down the river. Yeah, is that what it is? And sold under the bridge. Maybe we'll look up the meanings of each of those because I've got a bit concerned about both of them.

24:43Mike Minogue:I knew a guy who bought something off someone under a bridge and then he went to jail. Right, okay. I know a guy that bought something under a bridge. Yeah. Not good. Yeah.

24:53Keyzie:Or rented it. And also on that front, by the way, fellas, I'm going to need your help because I've got an issue and I need to, you know, get your guidance on it. So we may have to do a bit of an improv around it so we can sort of, you know, flesh it out. Put it on. Yeah, there's a lot on.

25:08Mike Minogue:Boy DJ needs a lot of help. And I tell you what's also going to help, a bit of life. The Hauraki Big Show with Jace, Mike and Keezy. Tune in weekdays at four on Radio Hauraki.

25:18Keyzie:Arctic Monkeys there on the Radio Hauraki Big Show this Thursday afternoon. the time, 12 minutes past 5 o 'clock. And, fellas, I had a bit of a shocker last night on the food front. And first and foremost, I want to make an apology to, because as you know, we were going out to a theatre. So we thought, oh, we'll get a quick bite to eat, my wife and I said, before we go to the theatre. Now, normally, because I said, what about burgers? And she said, yeah, I'm into that. Normally we would have gone to Reburger. Unfortunately, Reburger's a little bit far away from where we were. And there's a joint really close to where we live, and we've never been in there before.

25:57Keyzie:It looks quite nice. So I said to my wife, why don't we go there, and then we can go straight to the theatre. She said, great idea.

26:04Mike Minogue:Right, okay.

26:04Keyzie:So that's my apology to Reburger. Well, you didn't say sorry. Oh, sorry, Reburger. There you go. First time ever.

26:10Mike Minogue:Boom, done.

26:11Keyzie:So we went to this place, and it's got your stock standard kind of burger arrangements. What's it called? I'm not going to tell you what it's called. Oh, okay. You know, and as I say, nice decor and all that sort of jazz. And so I ordered a pretty standy Angus beef burger. My wife ordered a fish burger. And then we sat there for about, oh, 25 minutes. And there were two other people in the joint. And it was like 25 minutes. It shouldn't take 25 minutes to make two burgers. Well, that's my opinion. So anyway, the burgers come out, and frankly, they were abysmal. I mean, I wouldn't have minded 25-minute wait if the burgers that came out were like the bomb.

26:59Keyzie:Yeah, just good. Just like really good burgers. Now, my burger is meant to have Angus beef patty and pickles and all this sort of stuff on it. But the bun was so old that when you started eating it, it literally disintegrated in my hands. And so I was trying to eat this burger, and the bun was so old that it just fell apart, and I've just got food everywhere. It had no sauce. No sauce at all. No sauce on my burger. No pickles. Did you order it without sauce? No. Are you sure? I'm absolutely sure, because I love a lot of sauce on my burgers.

27:41Mike Minogue:Right.

27:43Keyzie:My wife got a fish burger, same thing. Her one's disintegrating because the bun's so old. Old bit of crumbed hokey in there. No sauce whatsoever.

27:53Mike Minogue:Did she order it without sauce?

27:55Keyzie:No, she did not. She loves a bit of sauce, Keezy. Absolutely. So hers fell apart. There's about 50 bucks. 50 bucks.

28:03Mike Minogue:Yeah, to be honest, at Reburger, it goes further. I know.

28:07Keyzie:I know. And we didn't even get fries or anything. Got a drink. So anyway, I was sitting there. I was effing and jeffing because I was a bit hangry because I didn't finish at all. And then a dude walks in off the street and he goes, good eating, hoity J. And I went, yeah, man, not too bad. And then he was like, oh, I'm a big fan of the show, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. And I went, yeah, good on you, mate. Backbone. Your backbone. And he went and sat down and ordered a burger. Because of your recommendation? Because of my recommendation. So if you're listening, and I think he is because he said he listens to every show, I'm sorry, mate.

28:44Keyzie:I'm sorry. I'd love to hear from that guy and find out what his burger experience was. It was a shocker. Now, I'm assuming, Joseph, you didn't say a word to the proprietor. Now, this is where I need your help. Yeah. Because I was legit effing and jeffing about it. I was like, that was so bad. The issue that I had was that there was a very pleasant young lady who was serving us, and it looked like she was trying to deal with a lot of stuff. And so I didn't have any issue with her and I didn't want to go up to her and go, I'm sorry, but that was really bad.

29:16Mike Minogue:But it's not her fault.

29:17Keyzie:It's not her fault, but she could pass it on. But it's the only way to communicate the message. You want the message to get through. Yes. You want the message to get through. Now, what I do when I'm running a slum burger joint is I put a young woman out the front that nobody wants to tell a bad word to. Yeah, I see. That's the first thing I do. Yeah. But you need to tell them because what they need to know is it's now at the point where we're noticing. You're cutting costs. You're having a go. Understood. Times are tough. But now we've got the stale, crumbling buns, man. Now we've got the no sauces, no pickles,$25.

29:56Mike Minogue:$50, yeah, for a two. Shut it down. Yeah. Pack it up. It's for their own good. Move it on. Well, don't close the store down. Yeah, what I mean. So what you need is an improv. We'll do a run through of how to politely pass that message on.

30:10Keyzie:Yeah, because that's what I struggle with. Yeah, well, let's do that next. Okay, all right. That'll help you, Jase. Fine. In the meantime, here's a Foo Fighters, fellas.

30:21Mike Minogue:The Hauraki Big Show with Jase, Mike, and Kesey. Tune in weekdays at 4 on Radio Hauraki.

30:26Keyzie:Cake there on the Radio Hauraki Big Show. This Thursday afternoon. The time is 5.24. and I was just talking before about how I find it very difficult when I'm in a restaurant, if I've been served a really bad meal, to actually say something about it. I tend to just walk out, pay my bill, and just not say anything. And not go there ever again, and that'll show them. Yeah, and not go there ever again. That's true.

30:48Mike Minogue:Whereas it can actually be helpful and constructive for them to know. Yes, that's right. So they can address it. If you were running a restaurant, Jason, you were putting out food that was substandard, you would want to know, especially if it was an accident. If you were doing it on purpose. Yeah.

31:01Keyzie:Yeah, it'd be like, well, yeah, what do you expect?

31:03Mike Minogue:Well, so we figured an improv is probably the best way to do it. I think so. Because I used to struggle with this exact same thing, and I worked on it, and I actually think I can genuinely teach you something that works for me. Okay, good. So maybe - That'd be good, Keezy. Yeah, let's get into it. Yeah, yeah.

31:17Keyzie:Go on, on set. Sound speed. Lights. Camera.

31:22Mike Minogue:Action.

31:22Keyzie:Now it's time for the Big Show Improv.

31:27Mike Minogue:So for this one, I'll be you. I'll be the customer. Yes. Mogi, you're always quite good at just figuring out a character and coming in. Thanks, man. Later on. But I think, Jase, it would be quite handy if you were the person behind the counter.

31:40Keyzie:Okay, sure. So that you get a taste of how it – Front of house. Front of house. I'm going to be good at front of house. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

31:46Mike Minogue:And just remember, obviously, you're very polite when you do this, right? Well, yes. 100%. Of course. So that's the key. All right. So I'll just find some restaurant ambience.

31:57Keyzie:There you go. It's very busy. Yeah. It's obviously doing a thriving business. All right, you ready? Yeah, man. Okay. Hey, excuse me. Hello, how are you? Good, thank you. What was your name? Could you lose the cap, please? We don't have caps inside. What, a hat? Yes, we don't like people wearing caps inside. But you're wearing a hat.

32:16Mike Minogue:Why am I not allowed to wear a hat?

32:16Keyzie:Well, that's the moniker of the actual restaurant.

32:19Mike Minogue:So the restaurant's allowed to wear hats. But why? Can I just call cut there? Chris, you said that you're really good with dealing with these people that are front of house. and straight away you can really argument. Pretty standard to be asked not to wear a hat. Yeah.

32:32Keyzie:And then straight away you're into a sort of a combative sort of a set-up. Thank you, Moji. I found he was a bit combative too, actually.

32:40Mike Minogue:I've been to a lot of restaurants. Not heaps. Not like in a rich way, but I've been to a lot of restaurants and I've never been asked to take my hat off. Right, so I would have thought you'd have to adapt. Maybe you're the wrong person for the job, Casey. No, okay, fair enough. Let's just not get bogged down in the hat. Yeah, yeah, no, sure. Here we go. Hey, excuse me.

32:59Keyzie:Sorry, mate, I'm not serving you any more beers. You've had plenty. All right? Yeah, okay, fair enough. We don't serve intoxicated people here.

33:07Mike Minogue:No, that's 100 % fair enough.

33:08Keyzie:And could you lose the cap, please?

33:09Mike Minogue:Okay, yes, I'll take the hat here. Has this been it? Yeah, yeah, good. Okay, cool. Thank you. Hey, I just wanted to have a chat to you about the meal that I was served. Oh, yes. My wife and I came here for dinner, and we've walked past the place a lot. We thought we must go in there and try it. We've come here, we've tried it. It's our first time. We ordered the burgers. Yes. I had the Angus burger and the buns are quite noticeably stale. Oh, that's deliberate.

33:33Keyzie:That's where we get them from.

33:35Mike Minogue:You get them from stale?

33:36Keyzie:No, no, but they're not actually stale. It's the kind of bun that they are. Right, okay. It's very similar to a sourdough. It's a specialty of this actual restaurant.

33:46Mike Minogue:Right, so it's not stale, it's intentional. Yeah, it's intentional, yes. Right, okay.

33:51Keyzie:Sorry, mate, your hat's really bugging me, actually. Well, I'm holding it next to me. And this is what happens when people tend to have a few beersies. They get all uppity. Okay. Take a look around the place, mate. Take a look around the place. Everyone's enjoying themselves having a good night. They don't need your down buzz coming here. If you've got a problem, just go out there and don't come back, mate. I'll just cut you there. Okay. Fellas, once again, you're getting a bit combative.

34:14Mike Minogue:Yeah, Keezy. Yeah, Jase. What? Well, I'm trying, and you're just focusing on the fact that I'm wearing a hat and calling me drunk. Well, Keezy, why don't you take your hat off? I did take it off, remember? Well, I think the problem is that Jace is very much a method actor, and he can see that you said that you've taken it off, but here in the studio, you've still got it on. So for this improv, I have to take my actual hat off. Yes, I think so. Will that make you happy, Jace? It'll make it easier for you to do your acting. I'm going to take my hat off, right, if it means that this doesn't get stupid again, all right?

34:44Mike Minogue:Okay, here we go. Hey, excuse me.

34:48Keyzie:G'day, mate. How are you going? You that guy from the radio show, the big show? Yeah, it's me. Oh, Keezy. Yeah, how you going? Don't use our bog, mate.

34:57Mike Minogue:No, I won't. It's funny stuff. Yeah, yeah. Hey, just the food I order.

35:02Keyzie:I've never seen you without a hat on.

35:04Mike Minogue:The Hodaki Big Show with Jase, Mike and Keezy. Tune in weekdays at four on Radio Hodaki. I think I'll have myself a beer. The Radio Hodaki Big Show. Name our beer.

35:20Keyzie:Yeah, man. How good would that be, fellas?

35:24Mike Minogue:Naming a beer.

35:25Keyzie:Naming a beer and having your name on a beer. Your name. Well, not necessarily your name, but a name that you thought of.

35:32Mike Minogue:That's right.

35:32Keyzie:And you could buy it for your mates and go, I gave them that name.

35:36Mike Minogue:The Big Show has a new beer thanks to Emerson's. It'll be at the Dunedin Craft Beer and Food Festival later on this year. It is a tropical hazy pale ale. Now, we're looking for name suggestions on 3483, so text them on through. and everyone that we, well, choose a few of them and dish out some brand new Emerson's hoodies.

35:55Keyzie:Yeah. They've given us a whole bunch of them. Bloody good. So far, my favourite is Sree Honka Hazy. Yes. Yeah, I like it because it's clean. It's clean, it's crisp, and it does the job.

36:05Mike Minogue:And you know who it's talking about as well. It's a shame there's not two of us because then it could be called Twin Beaks. You know, like the show. Yeah, that's good. It doesn't work, though. Well, to be fair, it's only you two that have got the big beaks, so it could still work. Easy. Come on, man. You must be, you had a few beers yourself if you think that, man. I'm looking at your side profile. My sode profile.

36:26Keyzie:Your joe profile.

36:28Mike Minogue:It's pretty shocking. Just looking at the text here, a few of them starting to come through, which is bloody good. This one's straight away jizz fizz. Look, we've had it before, and I still love it. I still love the jizz fizz. Someone here just wants to name it shocking bastard. Well, yeah, I mean, that's an obvious one, isn't it? It might get vetoed. Here's the thing. We've done this before, and I'm surprised that they keep coming back to us because every suggestion we make gets the kibosh. Well, it's because they're all filthy. We only had a couple that even got past the censors last time. Do you remember that?

37:02Yes, I do. They do. And I think it was one of only two options that wasn't foul.

37:06Mike Minogue:That's the issue is our audience clearly, and it's nothing to do with us. No, no. They're obviously filthy. Maybe if we go to the phones, fellas.

37:13Keyzie:Yeah, okay, let's see. G'day. G'day, Kevin, you mad bastard. How's life? Good, mate. She's all good. Yeah, good on you, mate. How's beautiful? How's the beautiful Topol today? Oh, she's a bit hazy, mate. She's not too good today.

37:28Mike Minogue:Oh, God. A bit hazy, just like the big show beer, man. Yeah.

37:31Keyzie:Have you got a name for us, Kev? Yeah, I thought you could call it the Midnight Steamer. Yeah, I like that, man. The Midnight Steamer.

37:38Mike Minogue:The Midnight Steamer. Nobody's going to get people wanting to have a few beers and calling something after a Grogan. Yeah, but also it sounds like, you know, people that don't know what the midnight steamer is won't, like it doesn't sound filthy. No, that's true. It's a good suggestion, Kev. Wrap your lips around the midnight steamer, you reckon, Kev? Yeah, or the hazy midnight steamer. Oh, there we go. Hazy midnight steamer. Yeah, that's pretty good. Go on. Thanks, Kev. You've got yourself an Emerson's hoodie, mate. You hold the line. Oh, beauty. G'day, mate. Let's go to another person here.

38:08Keyzie:G'day, Jordan, you mad bastard. How's life? Very good What do you do for a crust, Jordan? I'm an arborist Arborist

38:19Mike Minogue:Backbone Have you got a name for us there, Jordan? I was thinking incomprehensibly hazy Incomprehensibly hazy That would go straight through Yeah, I think it would There's no filth whatsoever You don't want to throw the word jizz in there somewhere, Jordan? Well, it's funny you should say that, Keezy because we've had one come through here on 3483. What do you think about this one there, Jordan? Cloudy with a chance of jizz.

38:50Mike Minogue:It's clever stuff. Maybe hazy with a chance of jizz. Yeah, yeah. Maybe. Jordan, you've got yourself an Emerson's hoodie as well, mate. Thank you so much. Oh, fantastic. Good on you, mate. Good on you, mate. Mate, it would be out the gate to have a beer that you've named. It would be. I'd be walking into the nearest bottle store and saying, give it to me. Yes. I want it. I named it. Giz it.

39:09Keyzie:I'll be giving it to all the whanau and friends at Christmas and stuff like that. I named that. That's mine. I did it.

39:17Mike Minogue:Hey. Z. Pale Ale. Nice, Mogey. See what you did there. Emerson's, by the way, they are the ones making the beer for us to celebrate the Dunedin Craft Beer and Food Festival. We're going to be down there. If you want your tickets, DunedinBeerFestival.co.nz. Shaping up to be a doozy. Can I just point out to the person who's texting in on 3483? Yes, we can see that you're texting in bird shit jizz, but we're not going to read it out. Yeah, yeah, yeah. We don't want to be saying that sort of stuff. No, not at all, man, not at all. Who's going to drink that? Here's royal blood. The Hauraki Big Show with Jace, Mike and Kesey.

39:50Mike Minogue:Tune in weekdays at four on Radio Hauraki.

39:53Keyzie:Yes, indeed, Led Zeppelin there on the Radio Hauraki Big Show this Thursday evening, the time, 5.48. Fellas, today was the opening of the Oasis documentary, Don't Look Back at Anger. Yeah, man, fellas there. It's all about Oasis I don't know if you've heard about them but the brothers Liam and Noel they didn't talk for 15 years That's quite some time It's a long time for brothers It's a long time They've got the footage from their last gig in Paris where a French guy I can only assume he's French because he came out onto the stage and he spoke into the microphone and he was speaking in French and he said sadly the event's not going to take place this evening Noel and Liam have had a massive fight backstage age.

40:37They've broken up immediately. This gig tonight is off. The entire tour is off. And Noel will be updating why he dislikes Liam so much later on on their website. Yeah. That is legit what happened. Wow. To be honest with you though, man, I

40:52Keyzie:didn't really know what the breakup was. I knew that they'd broken up and that they were at loggerheads with each other, but I never really knew the story of it. Yeah, and that was sort of, it was always a battle for, you know, who's the best? You know, who's the most important? I write the songs but I'm the lead singer. It's all a little bit ego driven, you know? Yes. And so anyway, the question's always been will they get back together and of course they did and it was one of the biggest tours in history. People, it would have taken over everybody's algorithms. It was really weird, like even people that went into Oasis were getting hammered with Oasis content.

41:26And I went over to Wembley. I saw one of the concerts over there. Incredible. Incredible. And actually the whole place, so Wembley which is about 80 ,000 people, everybody on their feet singing every single word of every single song. Amazing. Growing men like me in tears singing these songs. It was a very, very weirdly emotional thing. I don't know what it was. So to watch this film, I was really interested to find out what happened, what the conversations were like between the two of them that brought them back together. But what was interesting is the band rehearsed for, say, five weeks, and then Liam came in and started doing the singing.

42:01Every day he'd walk in, they'd start playing the set list. And then as soon as he'd finished his last lyrics, the band's still playing, he'd just go pick up his bag and he'd just walk out the door.

42:13Keyzie:Right. That is so weird. Like, that was what was happening for the current tour. During rehearsal. So every single day for five weeks of his rehearsal, he would walk in, they would start, last song, pick up his bag, out the door. Well, that is supposed to... No sticking around having yarns, no ironing. Beasies. None of that.

42:32Mike Minogue:That's the equivalent of just like getting to work at 8 o 'clock, starting, 5 o 'clock hits, leaving. Yeah. You know what I mean? You're not friends with anyone there. You're literally there to do a job. That's right. And that was without Noel. No, Noel was there. Oh, he was there as well. Yeah, the whole band was there. The whole band, yeah. Yeah, yeah. So he was there for that. But it was because he was taking it so seriously and he didn't want to bugger it up. And I was there. I went with my wife. And I thought I'd be in absolute pieces. I had a few tears here and there because it sort of goes around the world and it shows what it means to everybody around the world.

43:02And what's really weird, and we sort of talked about this on the podcast a little bit, is most of the audience is about 30 years old, so they weren't even alive when Oasis had their first run. But my wife was in tears as well, but I don't know. At times she was, and she's not a huge Oasis fan, but it might have been because I wouldn't give her my popcorn, Keezy. She wanted my popcorn and to have a drink on my... Did you have a jumbo one? I did.

43:25Mike Minogue:Yeah, yeah. And to have a little sip on my Coke. Might have been your BO as well. Is that why you think she was crying? Yeah, she's mentioned it to me before off air. Four busies. Yeah. I saw it in IMAX, I'll be honest with you. I don't think you need IMAX. Yeah. But it's bloody good. It didn't quite have the interview stuff that I was after. But even if you're not a fan, it's an absolute gem. Or alternatively, just wait and it's going to come out on Disney Plus. Yeah, there you go. In the coming weeks. Yeah, I'll probably do that. You won't even do that. I don't think you need to watch a documentary IMAX.

43:57Mike Minogue:You know what I mean? No, well, this is what was brilliant about this. The concert footage is really good. Yeah. But it's also really big. And so it gets a bit blurry as you're sort of swinging your melon around trying to take what's going in. I think it's almost better on a smaller screen. All right, well, should we play some Oasis? Yeah, let's do it, man. Oh, tune. Yeah. Supersonic, man. The Hauraki Big Show with Jace, Mike and Keezy. Tune in weekdays at 4 on Radio Hauraki.

44:28Keyzie:Welcome back, you massive backbones. Hope your Thursday's going along very nicely indeed. It is 6.03 and you, my friends, are listening to The Big Show, brought to you by Reburger.

44:38Mike Minogue:Handcrafted burgers, loaded fries and gourmet eats that will seriously change the game. Scrumpt and delicious. What did you have for dinner last night, Moggy? Great question. I've got no recollection of it whatsoever. In fact, I don't think I had anything.

44:52Keyzie:That's two nights in a row you haven't had dinner. They've gone out the night before, and last night there was just nothing. Yeah, I can't remember even getting home. I remember watching a movie with my wife and my brother-in-law. That was good stuff. Maybe I snuck some popcorn or something around it. You didn't go home via a pub or anything, did you? I didn't, no. Nothing exciting. Nothing exciting. The feelers, I don't know. Don't know. And I can also tell you I don't know what's for dinner tonight. Well, that's the issue. We like to chat about it. I know. It's just going to have to be the two of you.

45:22Keyzie:I might actually text your wife tonight and just say, you know, could you start telling Mogi what he's having for dinner when he comes in?

45:29Mike Minogue:Why don't we just get Mogi's wife on for this break every show? Yeah, that's a good idea. Not a bad idea. Yeah. Just have a shitty chat together. Not a bad idea. What's her number? Yell it out to me. Yeah.

45:37Keyzie:O? Just do, we'll do a phone drop. A phone drop. Yeah, we'll drop our phones. Is that how you do it? A phone drop. Yeah, we'll just drop our phones.

45:48Mike Minogue:What about you, Keezy? Something to do with chicken and halloumi. That's all I picked up. Yeah, okay. I said to my wife, Chicken and cheese, chicken and cheese. I said to her, Hey, do I need to get out anything from the freezer? And she said, Oh, I've got to check what we're having. I was like, Oh, okay. Then I went to golf and came back. And then I asked again. And then she was like, Oh, I've got to check. And she finally checked. And she's like, Shit, we need to get the chicken out of the freezer. God, she's got a mouth on her. Yeah. No, she doesn't. She's lovely. She just said, What did she do?

46:13Dropping S-bombs.

46:14Mike Minogue:Oh, she said shit. Yeah, she actually did. Right, that's terrible. That's shocking. Like, if I see that on the radio, I'd get fired. Yeah, you would. What are you having for dinner, Jase? Chinese.

46:26Keyzie:Chinese.

46:27Mike Minogue:What, like, are we talking your sort of sweet and sour pork entry level? Well, I haven't seen the menu yet, Kesey.

46:31Keyzie:Western Chinese? Jase, Jase. Funny you should say that. I'm thinking sweet and sour pork.

46:36Mike Minogue:So it's like a classic Western style.

46:38Keyzie:Well, it's a place just down the road. Right. Or is it your Szechuan? I go past it all the time, and it looks good, so I'm going to give it a crack.

46:46Mike Minogue:Because hot pot's Chinese Yes

46:49Keyzie:But I've burnt my bridges there a little bit I've got to give it a break So I'm changing it up a bit Once again I did that I went somewhere different last night As I mentioned earlier in the show It was a disaster But these are the risks you take When you go to different places They are

47:03Mike Minogue:There you go Where are you going New Zealand? Tell us on Tuesday When we do What's for Tea Tune Can I say that? Yeah you can man Thank you Here's Pearl Jam The Hauraki Big Show With Jase, Mike and Keezy Tune in Weekdays at 4 on Radio Hauraki.

47:18Keyzie:Yes, indeed, you too there on the Radio Hauraki. Big show this Thursday evening. The time is 6.27, and fellas, I've got a bone to pick. I got a bone to pick. Hello, PugSan. Ooh, it's PugSan.

47:35Mike Minogue:Evening, fellas. I mean, if you're picking a bone, Jason, I'm in here.

47:39Keyzie:No, no. I've got a feeling. Just not specifically you at all.

47:44Mike Minogue:But if you do say, I've got a bone to pick, and then, oh, Pugs, can you come in here, please? Yeah, yeah, yeah. And earlier on, when we were sort of hyping up this segment, you said it's, oh, Pugs has been sending you heaps of emails. Yeah, yeah, yeah. So read in between the lines. Oh, Pugs. And you bit my head off in Studio B.

48:01Keyzie:Yeah, yeah, well, you were just half-assing it a little bit, and I've got certain standards that I, like, maintained on this show. Anyway, look, we all have a bit of a joke on this show, don't we, fellas? I don't. You know, about old Hoity J. Hoity Janus. I have a joke about Hoity Janus. Hoity Jizz. And Hoity Jizz. All that Jizzbot, the Jizz Palace, all that sort of stuff. Jizzbot. You know, because every now and then I have been known, I think it's fair to say, to procure a bag of chips or two for the fellas. I'd love to know the numbers.

48:40Mike Minogue:You steal chips almost daily from the ACC. I'm sitting here. You don't anymore, though, Joseph, because they're all gone. Yeah. That's the only reason he does it. They've taken the boxes. And these are chips that the ACC have got to give away to people and stuff. Yeah, it's great.

48:57Keyzie:Well, these boxes are the bastards. You know what I mean? That's not a good sign. It's just, well, just all a bit of a laugh. A bit of a laugh. You know what I mean? And I see you guys because I'm sitting in here sort of going through the show, what we're going to do next, et cetera, et cetera, et cetera, and you guys are banging on about how hungry you are. You know what I mean? I go, in order to get the show going and functioning properly, I'll go and get you some chips. All right?

49:24Mike Minogue:Yeah, but then you eat most. Anyway, anyway. Anyway.

49:27Keyzie:What's the boat? So we have this perception that old Hoardy J is a bit of a thief. All right? Now, there's been a few things of late where things have gone missing. For example, I believe Pugsarm has sent some very cool stuff, which he had on his desk. Oh, that's right.

49:43Mike Minogue:An influencer pack.

49:44Keyzie:An influencer pack, and I'm pretty filthy about the fact that he gets sent stuff. What was in there, Pugs?

49:50Mike Minogue:A beret? Yeah. No, I get those myself. What was in there was like a miniature, a tiny little USB digital camera. Did that ever turn up? No. Gone. No, never turned up. A tiny camera, like really small. Like a key chain camera. Sounds cool. Like one that would fit perfectly in Jase's hands and be almost like a regular camera. It would sort of be like an IMAX camera for hoody jizz. Yeah, true. and then there was something else that went missing as well. It literally got stolen so quickly that I don't even remember what it was.

50:18Keyzie:And then John Too Good, of course, he's released this book, which I believe you're reading at the moment. I am. Home again, it's cool, James. Yeah, good stuff. And there was a copy of that on the desk. That's gone. Now, I keep receiving emails when Pugsan lost his stuff on his desk, when this book went away. Fellas, do any of you happen to know What happened to blah blah blah Jase Can I just add something to that?

50:45Mike Minogue:That was to all three of you

50:46Keyzie:It was

50:47Mike Minogue:And so anybody getting an issue about that You might think that they were projecting Me think thou doth protest too much

50:53Keyzie:So I reply to these accusations And I say, no sorry Pugs got no idea And then he replies every time Just bring it back Jase when you're finished with it.

51:07Mike Minogue:That's funny. Just bring it back. Just whenever you're ready, just bring it back.

51:13Keyzie:Well, so I admit to stealing chips, I'm not a thief, all right? I have not stolen your camera. And, you know, there might be the odd thing lying around that, no, it's been there for ages and stuff, I might pop into my bag. But I'm not stealing your private property, all right? Let me make that clear.

51:28Mike Minogue:Can I just say I went over to the other side of the building today and I saw on somebody's little miniature desk fridge a note that said, Big Show, do not steal. And I was like, what is this? And they said, oh, well, we've had a couple of soda cans go missing. And so we assumed that it was you guys. So your reputation is leaking into the rest of the building. Is that actually true? Is that true? That is 100 % true. That happened today. This is what? Big Show, please do not steal. You're a shocking bastard. I haven't stolen anything ever. This is bullshit. Yeah, well, where's it all come from?

52:01Keyzie:Who is the only one that drinks soda in this? Keezy. Keezy. Thieving bath. Yeah, I drink soda.

52:06Mike Minogue:Yeah, but who's the only one that steals shit?

52:10Keyzie:Fine, it's me. Sorry, fellas.

52:13Mike Minogue:Just bring back John Tugan's book and the tiny camera, right? I will. And the can of soda as well.

52:17Keyzie:Oh, the camera's, I had it in the bath because I was taking a few pics there. Oh, that's why you needed such a small camera. Yeah, just, Keezy.

52:26Mike Minogue:The Horaki Big Show with Jace, Mike and Keezy. Tune in weekdays at 4 on Radio Hodaki.

52:32Keyzie:Weezer there on the Radio Hodaki big show this Thursday evening.

52:36Mike Minogue:Fellas, I've got some great news. You know, over the past couple of weeks, me and Jase have been chucking the footy ball around quite a lot. Yes. Having a lot of fun. Tossing the pigskin. Tossing the old pigskin. And it's been a lot of fun, Jase. We've broken a few things.

52:53Keyzie:Well, let's be accurate. Keezy's broken four things. I haven't broken a single thing. I'll tell you what, it's been a real joy watching a couple of unks go at it.

53:03Mike Minogue:Mogi, I get it that Hwiti Jay is an unk, I get that. But come on, man, I'm putting them on the chest every single time, right into the bread bag. I watched you today and actually Jay's complained about it. They were coming right in at the ankles, weren't they, Jay's?

53:15Keyzie:Shocking. If I was running on to that at Pace Keezy, it would be a disaster.

53:20Mike Minogue:Well, the great news is, Jay's will finally be able to see it because I've been doing some research into – because, Jay's, you're 39. How old's Ma 'anonu? 44. 24, yeah. He's still out there. He's still a unit, isn't he? The way you've been passing that pigskin around, I'm like, we have to, before you do get too old, you know, you can't do this when you're in your 50s, but before you do get too old, we need to sign up, because I'll do it as well. We'll play a season of club footy together. So I've been looking around at all the different clubs we could join. So you're in town, right? So the best one could be, you know, we made a lot of jokes about college rifles.

53:55Mike Minogue:We could consider them. Eden Rugby Football Club. You guys couldn't play a season of touch rugby. No, we could. So this is for March next year, roughly, is when they start gearing up. So you've got to start training now. Well, we'll just get ourselves into condition. What do you think? If you need somebody to hammer you in a tackle, I can help out with that. I think you can. I would love to, Keezy.

54:16Keyzie:Ponsonby Rugby Club? I've signed up for Social Netball.

54:22Mike Minogue:No, that's okay. That's Tuesday nights. So I think Ponsonby Rugby Club, What I'll do is I'll put some feelers out. Yeah, could you? Because I've got one mate who could potentially come on and have a bit of a yarn about what kind of conditioning we'd need to do. Yes. But I'm fizzed up. Like, kids, to get to play a season of footy, and I think the listeners will be fizzed up too.

54:40Keyzie:Well, I'd just feel bad because I'd be playing in the game and you'd just be sitting on the pine all the time.

54:45Mike Minogue:Hey, that might be it. If I'm not good enough and I have to sit and watch as you do the bizzo, then that's the reality. How heavy are you? Because the other thing we could do is look at the weight. Yeah, yeah. Are you under 85? Well under 85. Okay, what about weight-wise?

55:06Keyzie:So you are under 85? I'm under 65. Okay. So it would be little nippers. Jase, you've regaled us with tails before when you were a captain of the second 15. You were 17 and all of your teammates were 13. Yes. It sort of feels like that's going to have to happen again. Yeah, well, that's what I mean. Little nippers. Yeah, that's right. I mean, if it's a little nippers league. I think you'd be a great captain. I would dominate.

55:30Mike Minogue:But the issue is I can't play nippers because I'm a full-grown adult. Yeah. So maybe that's a good idea. Jase can play with the youngins there. The little nippers. And you're out there in prems. No, because I want to play with Jase. Because they'll come and watch you play, Keezy. No, no, no, no. So this is the way. I want to be throwing a short ball to Jase. Da-doo! Through the gap. Right. And so if you want, we could do under 85s and I will lose 5 kgs.

55:56Keyzie:Wow. Yeah. Okay. Oh, that makes me feel better.

56:02Mike Minogue:The Hauraki Big Show with Jace, Mike and Kesey. Tune in weekdays at 4 on Radio Hauraki.

56:23Keyzie:Well, there you go, you massive backbones. That's the big show done and dusted for your Thursday night. Make sure you tune in tomorrow, Friday, thrupper. How good. And the disclaimer today, I don't have a clue what the clip will be.

56:35Mike Minogue:The disclaimer being a bonus podcast we do every day. Yeah, man. Comes out at 7.30. This is a clip talking about Hoity J's chipping issues. At least everything else in the world disappears, I'd imagine. You're only thinking about this part of your life that sucks, not all of the other areas of your life that suck. Oh, no, they infiltrate as well. You know what I mean? Yeah, this is why I'm in a miserable marriage.

57:05Keyzie:Yeah. Old hoity J there. You've got to keep punching, man. Yeah, we do. You've got to keep throwing punches. Absolutely. But that's probably the problem. If you're throwing punches, you should be swinging your golf club. Yeah, I should just be laying down. Yes. You know what I mean? Having real snooze. Speaking of which, what are your hopes and aspirations tonight, Moog? You know what, man? I'm probably going to have a bath, and I'm going to read some more book. I'm reading Johnny Tugood. Oh, yes. Johnny, oh, honey, Tumeke. I'm reading his book, and it's pretty, pretty good. Yeah, good stuff. It's interesting stuff.

57:36In the bath with Johnny Tugood.

57:38Mike Minogue:Yeah, that's right. Old Moogie. Old Moogie and John Tugood in the bath. Yeah, yeah. It's interesting stuff there. And it's interesting their work ethic. They always wanted to be huge and they worked like bastards. They weren't just stumbling around, you know what I mean? Yeah, yeah. And he regarded himself as a very good cricketer, Jase. Did he? A very good cricketer. He used to captain Wellington College. Wow. And in his team was Mark Ellis. Okay. I find it hard to picture.

58:03Keyzie:Yeah, he was a pretty good cricketer as well, Mark Ellis. No, I agree with that. I can see that. Yeah, but Johnny too. Yeah. I hear you.

58:09Mike Minogue:Mark Ellis, of course, the front man for Supergroove.

58:19Mike Minogue:Fellas. What? Come on, man. Up two, Keezy. Oh, yeah, cool. Thanks for asking. I'm going to go home and my wife and I are having chicken and halloumi something.

58:34Keyzie:Oh, yeah.

58:34Mike Minogue:Which I, yeah, so I'm looking forward to that. and then we're going to watch Outrageous Fortune because we started season two last night. Very, very good. Yeah, good stuff. And then she'll go to bed and then I'll start late playing video games. Doosh, doosh, doosh, doosh, doosh. Oh, my hamstring. What are you up to, Jase?

58:48Keyzie:It's funny, actually, because I'm meeting my wife in town. We're going to eat something. There's a Chinese place actually not far from here and I've walked past it so many times. And it looks like it's always pretty full, which is always a good sign. Full of what kind of people? Oh, just all sorts, all sorts of people. And so I've said to my wife, how about we go and check that place out and then... What did she say? Yeah, she said, keen, keen.

59:18Mike Minogue:And then what did you say? I went, sweet.