FULL SHOW: Jase's 40th/42nd/44th

8:17Mike Minogue:I'm 35.

8:17Keyzie:You don't look any more than 43, by the way, Mogi. Oh, thanks, mate. Yeah.

8:21Mike Minogue:I'm 35. Pugs is 30. You know, so I know exactly where everyone stands. Yeah, yeah, yeah. We're all like, it's kind of like. 5, 10, 50. Yeah, yeah, yeah. It's all sort of evenly spaced out. I sort of buggered it up. Totally, yeah.

8:32Keyzie:Yeah, it's a little bit outside the kind of range, but still, you know, within range. You know what I'm saying? Sure, sure. And I think that's really why the – sorry, Kesey. I think that's why the show works so well. Oh, yeah, yeah. You know what I mean? Because there's – All sorts of points of view. Yeah, different sort of – not generations even, just sort of five-year blocks. Yeah, yeah, yeah. A bunch of fellas.

8:56Mike Minogue:How old are you, man? Because I think if we just know once and for all how old you are, I think that would just, a lot of people would shut up and stop wondering.

9:03Keyzie:Yeah, well, no, that's fair enough, Kesey. And as Mogi said, it's been very clear from the outset. I'm sort of baffled, to be honest, as to why there is any kind of confusion about it. It's been pretty out there for a long time.

9:18Mike Minogue:Okay, so 2022, this is what you said. You're sort of in that age as well, Jase, because you're 40, right? You're 41, mate. What? When did that happen? 41, mate. Are you 41?

9:28Keyzie:When was your birthday? Seriously, I can hardly believe it. Yeah. I can hardly believe it. 41? Are you kidding me? I'm finding it hard to believe as well. Yeah. Yeah. Jeez. I mean, seriously, time just flies past, doesn't it? Oh, it does. It does. That's true. Because what are you, Kesey? 31. Oh, right. See, bugger all between us.

9:50Mike Minogue:Yeah. Bugger all between us.

9:51Keyzie:When did you turn 41? Pardon?

9:53Mike Minogue:That was in 2022. You know what I mean? So you can see why I'm confused.

9:58Keyzie:One of the prevailing things that our society is having to grapple with at the moment, and we've talked about it a little bit on the show, AI. Cost of living. AI. And it's amazing what people can create. You know what I mean?

10:14Mike Minogue:So you're suggesting that this was also created. This was ripped from our very podcast, 2023. Today is officially Hoity J's birthday. 43. 43 years of age. 43. So a round of applause. 43 there. Yeah. You know, I thought you were 39 a minute ago, and now you're 43, and then there's this from a couple of years ago. It was Woody Joe's birthday on Saturday. You turned 40. It was already marginal enough for me to go and get durries and stick them in it, Jase, so you can take them unlit in the studio. But three for three after 40, brother. Happy birthday. Yeah, good on you, mate. 43?

10:50Keyzie:Yeah, thanks, fellas. I really appreciate it. 43 there. You know, one of the things that I've always been taught in life is you've got to have mystery. You know, you've got to have stuff going. And I like to keep people slightly wrong-footed all the time. Because Keezy, I don't know if you've ever noticed this, Moggy, has always been fascinated by my age. And it's like age is just a number. Have you ever heard that phrase, Keezy?

11:17Mike Minogue:I'm fascinated because Wikipedia says one thing and then it's different and then I ask you and then you're this age and then you go backwards and forwards and then I just don't know what to believe. I guess the only thing that matters really is how old do you feel, Jase?

11:27Keyzie:Oh, look, if I'm being honest with you, I feel I'm a 20s.

11:31Mike Minogue:The Hauraki Big Show. Weekdays from four on Radio Hauraki.

11:35Keyzie:Soundgarden there on the Hauraki Big Show this Monday afternoon. The time is 4.37.

11:45Mike Minogue:It's Hoity J's birthday. Woo! How old are you, Jase? Dish, dish, d-d-d-dish. Regardless, it's a tradition on the show to have a gift brought in, midway through the show.

11:58Keyzie:I thought we were doing some excellent...

12:01Mike Minogue:Nah, we'll do that later, man. There's always time for excellent content later on the show. So we've organised for you to combine two of your great loves.

12:09Keyzie:Oh, look at that.

12:10Mike Minogue:It is a hot pot and radio all at once. I'm stoked. Now, Pugs did choose the ingredients in the hot pot. What did you go for, Pugs? Jase, look, I don't know your favourite hot pot. So I just kind of went for what I thought you would like the most. Yes.

12:28Keyzie:Do I see some tofu in there, Pugs-san?

12:31Mike Minogue:There's heaps of tofu in the pot. Isn't it just tofu? It's only tofu. Happy birthday.

12:37Keyzie:Oh, thanks, fellas. I greatly appreciate that. I'll enjoy that probably for tonight's meal, actually. Why don't we just share it? It seems like we should just share.

12:47Mike Minogue:Look, it's pretty big. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I mean, I don't want to. I don't need any. I don't need any. Mogi, obviously, is pretty empty. And you hate tofu, James. So I can just have that.

12:57Keyzie:I've never tried that before. Yeah, I mean, look, I'll share it, I suppose.

13:02Mike Minogue:Well, it won't take much to go get some bowls out of the kitchen. Yeah, yeah. Go get some bowls, Jay.

13:06Keyzie:Yeah, but we don't want to make a whore of a mess out there. No, it's okay. It normally doesn't bother you, man. You know, this is the thing. You normally love making a mess. You do it every day, man. People come in and have to clean up all that shit. You know what I'm saying? You can just split it up after yourself. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Oh, look at this. What are these? I've never seen these sashes before. That's tofu sashes. But glad to see that you've got the chili and the coriander.

13:24Mike Minogue:You're welcome.

13:25Keyzie:That's great stuff, Pug.

13:26Mike Minogue:Yeah, so happy birthday, man. Yeah, I'm looking forward to that. So if you just get a few bowls for you, Mogi and Pug-san, you can tuck into some hot pot tofu.

13:33Keyzie:Hang on, is this my present?

13:37Mike Minogue:Well, I don't know. I mean, I'm not hungry. Yeah, thanks, man. Okay. Happy birthday, mate.

13:45Keyzie:Yeah, thanks, fellas. That's great. I love it. Very good.

13:48Mike Minogue:Yeah, a little hot pot there. What a treat. Yeah. Do you want some, Mogi? No. Oh. Really? Okay, then you do it right now. Okay. Okay, I'm going to put on some music and then we'll talk TV. Yeah. Well, I was going to say eat hot pot. Oh, well, I'll do that in the brunt. I don't want to do it while we're, you know. No, no, we'll do it now. We'll do it now. Yeah, yeah, yeah. The Hauraki Big Show. Weekdays from four on Radio Hauraki.

14:11Keyzie:Nirvana there on the Hauraki Big Show this Monday afternoon. Fellas, let's talk TV. What's on the telly with Mike Minogue?

14:26Keyzie:Yeah! That's right. Howoo! You alright? That's exciting because it's your birthday, Jay. Oh, right, yeah. Look, I did watch some TV, but I'd like to talk about a gig that I went to on Friday night, if that's okay. Technically not television. Sure, man, that's all G. I went to the classic. I saw your mate there, old Scotty. Old Scotty, yes. Scotty, yeah. He's the guy that runs it, eh? That's right. Good man. For about 50 years. Jeez, it's a long time Paul Douglas is a comedian He opened for Wilson Dixon Yes Paul Douglas, very, very He was working a bit of stuff out, you know A bit of new stuff Some of it worked and some of it didn't But the stuff that worked was absolutely gold He is one of my favourite New Zealand comedians He's very, very funny He's the man too He was doing some stuff that was very cinematic actually Real loser stuff, you know what I mean?

15:16So right up my alley You can really connect with it. Yes. Very, very good. And a real, can I say, a real wide-ranging group of individuals in the crowd. There's, you know, some people there having a chat. As always, yeah. Having a chat with a comedian there like they're all part of the show. But when I tell you, like a really wide, wide rate. And then Wilson Dixon came on. You know, I think we can say he's played by Jesse Griffin. That's a character. What? And I've never seen the whole show before, and he is absolutely brilliant. Yes. Absolutely brilliant. Hilarious. Everyone's dying laughing.

15:55I give that five buzzies. Jesse and, well, Wilson Dixon and Paul will be there again at the end of October. Tickets are on sale now. Get in there. Get your tickets. Just unbelievably funny stuff. Yeah, great stuff, man.

16:09Keyzie:Yeah, Wilson Dixon, one of my favorite characters. 100%. He's brilliant. Very, very good. Now, fellows, last night my wife and I started watching the fourth Monster series on Netflix. Oh, yeah. Now, the Monster series, what was the name of the guy? Ian Brennan is the director. Their stories are basically your serial killers. Yeah. Or your mass murderers. Yes. Dramatized. And they're characterised by a quirkiness and pretty intense violence. Now, we started last night watching the Lizzie Borden story, which is the fourth in the series. True story about a young lady who basically had horrendous parents who just were terrible to her.

17:00Keyzie:I won't go into the details of what happens. But what I will say, the first three or four minutes of the opening of this particular program, horrendously violent. And my wife and I were like, you know what? No, I don't think so.

17:18Mike Minogue:So you didn't watch it?

17:18Keyzie:No, we just sort of sat there and it progressed along. And then they get this new maid into their service who's a really cool character. And actually, we ended up, we watched two episodes, I think it was. It's actually very good. Right. It's very good. After you get over the initial shock of that first three minutes, which is just horrific, the actual story and the acting is very, very good. We actually really enjoyed it. Monster series on Netflix. And is that two, there's only two episodes? No, there's more. Oh, yes. There's more to come. But yes, the woman that plays the mother, I can't remember her name and the father the father is played by the guy that was in Gang I can't even remember the name of the show that's useful there you go very good

18:08Mike Minogue:very good how many buzzies

18:10Keyzie:I'd give it

18:11Mike Minogue:3.9 buzzies out of 5 wow yeah yeah hey so Friday night I was hanging with the in-laws at their place yeah that's right

18:19Keyzie:you were dreading that

18:21Mike Minogue:weren't you so I had a crash course in what the what the people in their 60s do on a Friday night at home Yes. I watched the news in its entirety. Yeah. Wow. I then watched Seven Sharp in its entirety. Wow. I then watched The Repair Shop in its entirety. Oh, yeah, I know that one. Which was my favorite of the three. Yeah. No offense to Seven Sharp. God, that's a tedious program. But The Repair Shop, I watched a guy fixing a book for an hour. Wow. And by the end of it, the lady was really pleased with her new book. Four buzzies out of five. Highly recommend it. Can't wait until I'm in my 60s. Was there sort of a few minutes of violence right at the start?

18:57Nah. Nah, nah.

18:59Mike Minogue:It wasn't actually. I think I'll bother then, to be honest. The book was good because it was pretty broken. Like the pages were all like tatty. Stuck together and stuff. Wow, yeah, yeah. And the cover was pretty like perished. It was your grandma's cookbook. You know?

19:17Mike Minogue:The Hauraki Big Show with Jace, Mike and Keezy. Tune in weekdays at four on Radio Hauraki.

19:23Keyzie:Welcome back, you massive backbones. Hope you're surviving your Monday afternoon. You are listening to The Big Show, brought to you by Rebegir.

19:31Mike Minogue:Handcrafted burgers, loaded fries, and gourmet eats that will change the game. Scrumped and delicious. Certainly is, fellas. If you've just joined us, Hoity J's birthday, but he doesn't want to make a big deal out of it. Yeah, yeah, let's move on from that. You sure? Because there's heaps of texts on 3483.

19:46Keyzie:Well, look, you know, as I say, people do it, they do it. I can't control that. We're going to all chip in and get you some Botox. Is that something you'd be interested in? What areas are you thinking specifically, Moggy? Well, traditionally, you'd be guided by the woman or man who delivers the injections. Okay, yeah. But generally, it's in the face and the testicles. I'll be honest with you because I am getting to that age where, you know, you know. And what age is that? You do start to look at improvements. Yeah, a bit of renovations around the head. One of the things that's really upset me about the ageing process is the sunken nature of my arse.

20:32Keyzie:Because you used to have a fat old bunda. I had such a cute butt. Yeah, right. It's getting absorbed by my body.

20:40Mike Minogue:It's like that coastal erosion stuff. It's just eroding away. It is.

20:43Keyzie:It's just sort of slipping down the landscape of my little skinny legs. It's a sheer drop. A sheer drop, yes, if you will.

20:52Mike Minogue:It is quite a funny analogy, the whole like, you know, Because if you had bought a house that was however many years old you are, it would certainly need a renovation now, you know? It would need a coat of paint. Yeah, a bit of a do-up. Yeah.

21:05Keyzie:Actually, because, you know, just on the arse front, because you've got some junk in the trunk, as they say there, Keezy. I've got a peach. What about it? We could slice a couple of centimetres off you and all transplant it onto old Hoity J's arse. You want my arse on your arse? You want Keezy's arse.

21:24Mike Minogue:Well, I just meant he's... So just kind of following you want a bit of my ass. Is that what you're...

21:27Keyzie:I'm just saying that, you know, you've got a bit of, you know, to spare, a bit of spare tyre action going on. Yeah, 100%, man. So maybe that could work. That's a good idea.

21:37Mike Minogue:So we're going to walk into a plastic surgeon's office and say, can you put some of my ass on Jase? It must happen all the time. I imagine so. The Hauraki Big Show with Jase, Mike and Keezy. Tune in weekdays at four on Radio Hauraki.

21:52Keyzie:Live there on the radio. Radio Hauraki Big Show this Monday afternoon. The time is 5.12. Fellas, I've got a boner pick. I got a boner pick. You got a bone to pick? As well. As well, Keezy. Right. Now, you remember a couple of months ago, fellas, we did come dine with the fellas with old Moogie. Yes. Went around to old Moogie's house over there, Indy. Had a lovely time. There was a bit of an incident. fairly close to when people first arrived. Very early doors. Everybody turned up, absolutely going off out in the lounge there. People were sitting around, there's some sick tunes playing out. Inglebert was playing on the old stereo there.

22:36I was very considerate. Kesey loves a bit of Inglebert. The next thing you know, I hear sort of cries of shock and horror coming from the lounge. I was busy out in the kitchen, so I went running out into the lounge. With your apron on. With my apron on, yeah, nothing else.

22:54Keyzie:Yeah, it was hot. Just in time to catch your wife, Jase, tipping a glass of what looked like red wine all over my couch. Now, at the time, I was thinking to myself, she's making herself at home. But, you know, because it was a competition, I wanted to win, so I acted like it was no biggie. Anyway, she grabbed a tea towel. Sorry, a tea towel. A bath towel, a white bath towel, and just sat on that and sort of thought, I guess, figured that'd be the end of it. Just soak it all up. That's right. Anyway, I was having a good look at it over the weekend. It turns out it's still massively stained. I've sent you a photo, Jase, of it, and it's up on the Hauraki Big Show Instagram on the stories there.

23:39Have a look, people, and see what you think. But it's a hurrah of a stain. It's not insignificant. Anyway, I've had somebody come in and do a quote to get it cleaned. Three grand. Wow. Yeah. Yeah. Three grand. So is that something – now, I don't know what to do here. Because is that – do I give you the bill? Or because this was done with NZM, do I send it to Bogsy, the chairman of NZM, or do I give it to Toddy, our boss? What's the story there? I know that Pugs Island's got the credit card for the big show. Yes, he does. He does.

24:17Mike Minogue:I can relate to, remember, because I got that parking ticket. That's right. Jace has come down on me. That's right. Because if you're going to send that, then I might send that as well.

24:24Keyzie:Yeah. If I might, you know, because I agree with you, Mogey. It's a hell of a dilemma. I just want to deal with a few historical inaccuracies in the portrayal of what happened here, in particular that my wife was pouring red wine over your couch. Now, I'm not entirely sure that that's an accurate portrayal of the situation as it occurred.

24:51Mike Minogue:It was a rosé. Oh, wasn't it? Yeah, it wasn't fully red.

24:54Keyzie:It was a sparkling water and she spilt it mostly on her lap. I'm not disputing for a moment that there's obviously some, I mean, the stain seems to me to be, I don't know if it's the same couch. You're saying more recent? Well, it just seems to me to be much more prolific than a spillage of a little bit of sparkling water. I see. I see.

25:30Mike Minogue:To be fair, Jase, you were sitting in the seat and you had the sun in your eyes, remember? Oh, that's true. That's right. And you marked them down for that. So you didn't see it. It went everywhere. And you couldn't, yeah. So you were staring into the sun at that stage. so you're probably the worst witness that I could call. Yeah. Kesey, what did you see that fateful day? What I saw was Jase's wife opening a bottle of red, sniffing it, and then saying, oh, I don't like the smell of this, and tipping it onto Mogi's couch. Thank you. Is that what you saw, is it, Kesey?

26:01Keyzie:Because I'm going to tell my wife that's what you saw. Go running to your wife, Asper.

26:06Mike Minogue:Run off to Mrs. Oity J. It's no biggie, Jase. Just pay the fine. It's all G. How much is it? Three grand. Yeah, the couch cost me$1 ,000. The Hauraki Big Show. Weekdays from four on Radio Hauraki.

26:24Keyzie:Cool jam there on the Radio Hauraki Big Show this Monday afternoon. The time is 5.23, and you were talking just there, Mogi, about your come dine with me situation, and my wife apparently opening a bottle of red wine and pouring it all over your couch. Well, according to Keezy anyway. Well, no, according to Keezy and Mogi. And leaving a massive stain all over the couch there.

26:47Mike Minogue:But look, Jason, I don't want that to get toxic and ruin the big show. Yeah, totally, totally, Jason.

26:51Keyzie:We'll sort that. We'll sort that. Off you, yeah. But can we have a bit of a come dine with the fellas chat, please? Come dine with the fellas.

27:04Mike Minogue:Before we get started, I think it's best to clarify for people that aren't aware, we are each, every month that goes by, we are each taking turns to host everyone and their partners. Come down with me, you then rate each other. Yeah. We've done three of them, Moggy, Jase, me, Pugs, you're the last one left. G'day, Pugs. Hi, how are you? Yeah, good, thanks, Pugs. Yourself? Yeah, good, burping up a bit of hot pot. Yeah, good.

27:23Keyzie:Yum. Good stuff, man. Now, so far, three magnificent meals. Yes. Three magnificent afternoons. Yes. Thoroughly enjoyed by all. But it occurred to me that whilst this has all been going on and the people have been loving it, you know, the come down with the fellas' experience, we've never at any point discussed what the winner receives for this monumental occasion and competition. And it seems to me that, you know, it's required so much effort from all of us, it should be a substantial award.

28:00Mike Minogue:Because you're winning at the moment, eh?

28:03Keyzie:Genuinely, I don't know who's winning. Oh, don't you? I know who's not. Who's not winning? That's all I know at the moment. But, I mean, what are your guys' thoughts on that? I thought I'd chuck it onto the table, the dining table, as it were, and get your views. Well, certainly from my point of view, knowing that I'm not winning and I'd have no chance at taking home the prize, I'm not keen. but who knows there might be something that we could find in the prize cupboard or you know there could be any number of things in there but I yeah for that reason I'm out.

28:39Mike Minogue:Yeah I'm also as someone who I think is has a decent chance of winning but I'd rather things were fair I'm not interested either. Pugs is the only one left to go. Well this is the thing

28:50Keyzie:I mean it's still very much up in the air as to who's going to win and not win and that's by the by Right. And I'm thinking because it's been such a – I mean, Mogey, your day was magnificent. Keezy, you had a magnificent day. I had a magnificent day. And I'm sure Pugs is going to have a magnificent day. Well, we don't know. Well, we don't know. I mean, the odds are that – It could be an absolute disaster. Even though I've always said that old Pugs aren't, he's the secret weapon, I reckon, because he's a hell of a chef, apparently. Yeah.

29:20Mike Minogue:What do you think, Pugs? Hyping me up. Yeah, man, I'm keen for a prize. Yeah.

29:23Keyzie:Okay, great. Yeah, I'd love to introduce one. Because I'm thinking, well, we've all had such good fun that the three losers shout the winner and the partner of the winner to an extravagant, extravagant meal of some description. And if that's pugs, so be it.

29:51Mike Minogue:I mean, I personally have to go. That would be my question. So let's say, for example, Jase. That Pugs want it. That you want it. Say I want it. Okay, say you want it. Do we have to go with you to this dinner, or can we just send you, get you a voucher and just be done with it?

30:06Keyzie:Yeah, I think, you know, like a cash voucher would be fine. Yeah, so cash. A cash voucher. It could just be, you know, the couple going out, you know, make a big day of it, big night of it. A day of it?

30:19Mike Minogue:Are we sending you away to like a retreat or something? So you're keen, Pugs? You're confident? You back yourself? What do you mean? No, I'm just saying I think it would be a great idea to introduce a prize. Yeah, good on you, Pugs. I'm not backing myself for anything here. Well, you should. You should, buddy. Jase, you love to set me up with very, very high expectations so you can watch me. I am excited. I really have high expectations. I had really low expectations, but Jase has really talked me around on this. I've got really high expectations for you. All I'll say is make sure you nail the dessert there and the starter.

30:54Mike Minogue:Oh, yeah. And the main. What about the entertainment?

30:59Keyzie:Look, you're not going to go great there. But listen, so we all put in like$1.50 each. No.

31:06Mike Minogue:$1.50 each,$4.50. Which hot pot restaurant are you going to, man? This is ridiculous.

31:13Keyzie:So that's a yes. Good stuff. That's still a no for me.

31:17Mike Minogue:Oh, well, if Mogi's out, I was in. But if Mogi's out, I'll have to be out as well, man. Yeah. Okay, 100 each. Why are you looking at me as you say that? I tell you what, if you win, whoever wins gets the opportunity to make everyone a dinner again. Bingo. Lock it in, fellas. The Hauraki Big Show. Weekdays from four on Radio Hauraki.

31:38Keyzie:The offspring there on the Hauraki Big Show this Monday afternoon. The time is 5.36. Now, we've teamed up with our mates at Trade Tested again. had another prize to give away on the Friday,$2 ,500 worth of stuff. We're heading into spring, or we're in spring, heading into summer. If you've got a little backyard or a little deck area that you want to just totally plush out, you should get involved, man.

32:03Mike Minogue:Plush it out. So easy to do. You can plush that thing right out. All you have to do is just plush it. Plush it, man. You know when you see something, God, that could do with a jolly good plushing. Yeah. Yes. The other day I was with my mate and he was like, oh, you could kit that out. And I was like, kit it out? Don't you mean plush it out? Yeah, you could renovate that. What? What? Plush it. Plush it. Hey. Come on, fellas. We're doing big deck energy. The way it works is you head to tradetester.co.nz, put together a shopping list worth up to$2 ,500 on the dot, right? So anywhere up to that point, if you put in more than that, like someone has done here, you're instantly out of the draw.

32:43Keyzie:Yeah, no siree, Bob.

32:44Mike Minogue:No siree, Bob. So what you want to do is go tradetested.co.nz, put together a shopping list up to two and a half grand, screenshot it, and then upload it at hodaki.co.nz.

32:56Keyzie:I remember the backbone on Friday. He had a stand-up paddleboard. Was that one of the – it was pretty random. A stand-up paddleboard. It's amazing what they've got there, Keezy. What, a trade-tested? A trade-tested. Oh, man, they've got some plush. Brand new five-burner Barbie from Recollection. Totally. Yeah.

33:11Mike Minogue:So this one person here – I'm just pulling up random entries now. So this person has asked for a Savannah Modular Outdoor Corner Suite. Now, that's$13.99. That's all they've asked for. You're not making the most of it, man. No, you're not. Can I just put it to you this way? Just wake up. Do you think that's plushing it out, man? No, it's not. I don't think so. You've left$1 ,100 on the table. Thank you. You could have a stand-up paddleboard in the corner of that. 100%. Another person here has done the same thing. Outdoor Corner Suite, bigger version. This time, 2 ,899. Well, that's not going to work at all.

33:47That's too plush.

33:48Mike Minogue:Yeah, exactly. Jeez. Like somewhere in between would be great. How about, I don't know, 2 ,500? Why do you think it's not getting through, Keezy? I don't know. Because you're the one that does the admin. Yeah, well, because that would, I mean, it would suggest that I'm not explaining it right, but I'm doing, I think I'm doing a pretty plush job. This person here, this is what I like, right? So a retractable hose reel. Oh, yes, I like those.

34:13Keyzie:It costs you 2.5k, easy.

34:15Mike Minogue:Wait, man. God. Bike ceiling hoists. They could store their bicycle up on the roof. What? A professional Wi-Fi colour weather centre so they could monitor the weather. A Savannah modular outdoor corner suite. Oh, we heard about one of those before,$13.99. That's right. And an infrared instant heater, 2 ,000 watt, plus a bonus storage box, 270 litres. That all adds up to 2 ,285. Yeah, that's better. You've still got 200 bucks to spend, though.

34:45Keyzie:I don't know what any of those things are, but it's bloody, sounds bloody good.

34:48Mike Minogue:It's bloody good, Jay. So I suggest getting involved. Go to tradetester.co.nz. Put together a shopping list with$2 ,500. Then go to hodaki.co.nz and upload your screenshot there. We are calling the final winner this Friday. Here's the thing, fellas, and a lot of people out there don't understand this. You've got to be in to win. You do. You've got to be in to win, Keezy. Write that down, man.

35:08Keyzie:Yeah, could you write that down, please, Keezy? Sorry, how do you spell plush first?

35:11Mike Minogue:I'm just writing that down.

35:12Keyzie:P. A-L-U.

35:15Mike Minogue:Hang on, slow down. The Hauraki Big Show, weekdays from four on Radio Hauraki.

35:21Keyzie:Audio slave there on the Hauraki Big Show this Monday evening. Now, fellas, there was some superb sporting action over the weekend. Let's have some sports chat.

35:41Keyzie:Sport. Ah, Mogi has been waxing lyrical about the extraordinary McBalese match last night. Ah, Mogi, I didn't see it. I've seen a few highlight packages. Your thoughts, apparently it was an absolute doozy. Well, the two prelim finals, which are weird talk for semifinals in the NRL, happened over the weekend. The Roosters flogged the Dolphins on Friday night. And then last night, the Panthers v the Knights. Of course, the Knights qualified seventh, and the Panthers qualified first. The Knights haven't won a premiership. I don't think they've made a grand final for 25 years, something like that.

36:19So the odds are against them. Yes. Now, this is a team that obviously beat us last week and looked pretty good doing it. They've got Calum Ponga at fullback. Nathan Crosswell, is it? Phoenix Crossland. Phoenix Crossland, sorry, who's their hooker. Yeah. That'd be right. So a couple of Kiwis in there was just bloody good. I wasn't sure who I was going for because I really love the Cleary's and I really like Penrith. I think they're a bunch of good people and they're never in the headlines for the wrong reasons. With about four minutes to go in the first half, Nathan Cleary had his ankle broken and it was a compound fracture.

36:54So it was called a hip drop tackle where the person slides down the back. It's a really weird one. If you've seen it, you know what I'm talking about. But it was absolutely heinous. The whole stadium stops. Nobody's happy in that situation. It was absolutely, because of course you saw him like, it was grim. Apparently it's a double compound. Yeah, oh right. Which is how it is. But anyway, it was heinous. Now the best player in the game is gone. And the player that did it was Phoenix Crossland. And he got sent from the field immediately for the duration of the game. So there you are with the Newcastle Knights having to play 44 minutes with 12 men.

37:35So an almost impossible task when you're playing against the best side that the competition's ever seen, I would likely say. So there you go. And then they somehow managed to hold the Panthers scoreless in the second half, scored a couple of tries of their own, and it was just a game that was full of twists and turns, incredible defence, errors. I've never heard a crowd so loud. It was, I think, probably the most amazing game of rugby league I've ever seen. That's extraordinary. me.

38:04Mike Minogue:Di Henwood had a good point in our group chat. He said the Knights are what I was expecting the Warriors to be. I completely agree and what I love about them is it's just grassroots going hard for each other. But they've got a little bit more X factor. They've had the same sort of troubles with injuries as well. They're far from being at full strength. Like our Ford pack is way better than theirs but their backline is way better than ours. Yeah 100%. Wow. And then after that and I was talking to you guys about it before but you crossed to Matty Johns, who used to play for Newcastle, the brother of Andrew Johns, a TV personality.

38:37He won the, was playing for the side when they won their last grand final. And it cut to him in the studio because he does the post-match stuff and he's in tears, like unable to talk. And it was absolutely magnificent because you see how much sport means to people and especially in those little cities, like Newcastle is a steel city. They go down in the mines, they go down in the pits, they go, you know, So, kilometres underground, they work bloody hard. Rugby league in the vein sort of stuff. It's all they've got. And they've had a shithouse time with a terrible team. And now they've – last year this team came last.

39:12Yes. They got the wooden spoon. And this year they're in the grand final. How good. Fairytale stuff. Absolutely brilliant game. And, yeah, I can't wait for next week.

39:21Keyzie:So Knights v Roosters, right?

39:23Mike Minogue:Knights v Roosters. Which is fun. I'm going for the Knights. But I literally – if you'd asked me at the beginning of the season to rank the likelihood of teams to be in the grand final, the Knights would have been like 13th or something for me. Going into the finals, I think they were put into the finals when they're already in there. The likelihood of them getting to the grand final, I think, was$65. Unbelievable.

39:42Keyzie:Put them to win three. Hey, and just very quickly, fellas, on the rugby union, I got up this morning and I was watching some highlights of Australia v South Africa, which initially I thought, to be honest with you, was some sort of historical match. Yeah, like a replay. Yeah, like a replay thing. but it wasn't a replay. I didn't even know they were playing the Springboks. The most extraordinary match again with the Wallabies coming out on top and again, I didn't know until you told me, Mogie, at one point the Australians were playing with 11 players. They finished the game out with 11 players on the field.

40:16I don't think I've ever heard of a team being down to 11. I don't know how you lose but I think the Wallabies had a pretty hearty lead. Yeah, it was 40-odd to 17 at one point.

40:27Keyzie:Yeah, that sounds right. So, yeah. Unbelievable. Bloody good stuff, eh, fellas?

40:29Mike Minogue:Exciting. Sport! How good! The Hauraki Big Show with Jace, Mike and Keezy. Tune in weekdays at 4 on Radio Hauraki.

40:41Keyzie:Welcome back, you massive backbones. Hope you survived your Monday. You are, in fact, listening to The Big Show, brought to you by Reburger.

40:47Mike Minogue:Serving good times and good food. Dine in or take away Reburger today. Hooray!

40:56Is that good?

41:00Mike Minogue:Don't just go silent. Like, I can't just play it and then you go silent because that's...

41:03Keyzie:Yeah, it was okay, man. Okay. It was good. Hey, listen. God, I'm feeling a bit crazy today. A bit spontaneous. What are you guys' plans tonight? Good question, man. Yeah, yeah. That's a good question from you. Probably go home, go to bed.

41:18Mike Minogue:Ah, you don't want to do that, Mogey. It's a beautiful night out there. What about you, Keezy? Well, I've just texted my wife and said, hey, do you want to go for a walk later? Boring. You've still got it. Boring.

41:28Keyzie:Well, I'm just thinking, you know, life is short. What do you want to do?

41:32Mike Minogue:Do you want to do something special for your birthday?

41:33Keyzie:Yeah, maybe, you know. What do you want to do? The fellas, we just all put our jackets on and just hit the CBD.

41:38Mike Minogue:Sure, like go to a bar? Put our jackets on. I mean, I've already got my jacket on. Oh, yeah, that's true. Not that one.

41:44Keyzie:Yeah.

41:45Mike Minogue:You want me to change jackets?

41:46Keyzie:Yeah, have you got another one you could put on?

41:47Mike Minogue:I'd put my prison jacket on.

41:48Keyzie:Yeah, that'd be good. and just take life by the horns. What does that mean? Well, just go to have a few quiets, just for the fills. Yum, Keith. Some wedges.

42:01Mike Minogue:So that's grabbing life by the balls, is putting on a jacket and eating some wedges. And a few beers.

42:07Keyzie:They can be loaded wedges, fellas. A few jalapenos. Maybe we could go to a re-beg you. That sounds great, man. I don't think they do that. Actually, oh, no, sorry. My wife just texted. Has she? Yeah, yeah. What did she say? She said, I've made macaroni cheese. Oh, happy birthday. So we'll just have mac and cheese. Mac and cheese there. We'll have to flag it. Sorry, fellas.

42:26Mike Minogue:By the way, it is Horty J's birthday, and people are texting in on 3483. Happy birthday messages. We're going to read a whole lot of them next, even though, J, you don't want.

42:33Keyzie:Yeah, we don't need to do that, man. Nah, well, let's do it, man.

42:36Mike Minogue:I mean, you've written it in the show planner, so we may as well. Here's Radiohead. The Hauraki Big Show. Weekdays from four on Radio Hauraki. Red hot.

42:46Keyzie:Chili peppers here on the Hauraki Big Show. So the time, the day is Monday.

42:53Mike Minogue:Good stuff, Jase. The reason Monday is important is because it's Hoity J's birthday.

43:00Keyzie:Yeah, man.

43:01Mike Minogue:He's turning.

43:03Keyzie:Into an awesome human being.

43:06Mike Minogue:Nice, man. And a whole lot of people have been wanting to wish you well, Jase. There's lots of texts on 3483. There's also a call here. G'day, Josh. How are you going? Yeah, pretty dang good. Good on you, mate. What can we do for you, man? Well, I heard that you fellas were talking about it being someone's birthday. Oh, yes. As a fellow character dragon 340s gentleman, like Mr Hoity J, I just wanted to say happy Friday to your mother's day and that I too share the September 28th as a birthday. Oh, yeah.

43:42Keyzie:Happy birthday, Josh. You're a massive backman. Appreciate that, mate.

43:46Mike Minogue:Pugs will flick you a re-burger voucher for your birthday, mate, all right? Oh, legend.

43:50Keyzie:Good on you, mate. You enjoyed it, though, wasn't it?

43:53Mike Minogue:It's nice. It was nice, Jase, but I wouldn't mind just concentrating on you, man. Sure, sure. Because you're the birthday boy. Who's the birthday boy?

44:01Keyzie:Oh, I guess it's me. Correct.

44:02Mike Minogue:A lot of texts, 3483. Happy birthday, Hoity J. Hope that gold card fits in your wallet. True, actually. Yeah, yeah. Oh, no, that doesn't make sense, because don't you get a gold card when you're 65? Yeah, well, it's just a bit of fun, Kesey. Is that what you call gentle ribbing? Yes. Ah. G'day, guys. Hoity J has been remarkably restrained about his birthday. Over at The Hits, Matty McClendon has been banging on about his birthday for the last year, and I don't even think he's had it yet. No, it's true. It's true. So you're so subtle, Jase. Yeah, I know.

44:32Keyzie:Well, as I say, fellas, it's about the show. It's not about me.

44:35Mike Minogue:Happy 60th birthday, Jase. It's from Heidi. I know, a bit of humour there.

44:39Keyzie:Good humour.

44:40Mike Minogue:Very common through line here. It really is. Hoity J is ageless. Even if he was 100, his accomplishments would have been remarkable. That's true.

44:48Keyzie:Oh, yeah, true. That is true. Oh, that's lovely.

44:51Mike Minogue:Happy birthday, Parker. And that's from Jeff, Virgil, Scott, Alan, John, Gordon, Brains, and Lady Penelope. Very good. Happy birthday, Big Nose. Yeah, nice. Must be something about this date. It's my birthday, too, and I've got a massive schlong. Yeah.

45:10Keyzie:Well, funnily enough, I, too, have a mate that's got the same birthday. What? Yes. What's his name? What are the chances of that happening? Having a mate. Pretty slim. His name is Evan. Evan. Evan Flo. No, just Evan. Well, he's got a surname and I won't say it over the air. Okay. Johnson. No. Peters.

45:28Mike Minogue:No. Evan, Evan, Evan. Essence. Evan Essence. Far out, really. G'day, Jase. Happy birthday. You only turned 42 once, so have a good one. That's not true. Well, come on, man. He's turned 42 about four times. Happy birthday, Jase, the old shagger. Yeah, thanks, mate. How about this one from Rod? Happy birthday, numb nuts.

45:53Keyzie:Yeah, good stuff. Thanks, everybody.

45:55Mike Minogue:The Hauraki Big Show with Jase, Mike and Keezy. Tune in weekdays at four on Radio Hauraki.

46:01Keyzie:All there on the Hauraki Big Show this Monday evening. Now, listen up. We've teamed up with our mates at Emerson's Brewery, and they created a whole new beer, and they want us to name it. It's a hazy pale ale, isn't it, fellas?

46:15Mike Minogue:It certainly is, Jase. It's tropical as well, whatever that means. And it's to celebrate the 2026 Dunedin Craft Beer and Food Festival. I think I'll have myself a beer. The Radio Hauraki Big Show. Name our beer. It's exciting stuff, fellas, naming a beer. It is. It's a tricky, tricky thing to do. It's not as easy as it sounds. Yeah.

46:40Keyzie:You've got to walk a tightrope of appropriateness. That's right. and then there's the length. It's got to be short. It's got to be sharp. It's got to be memorable. It's got to be on brand. There's been some shockers come through. Yeah, there has. You can count on probably one hand the good ones.

46:56Mike Minogue:Yes, I'd agree with that. Why are you just pulling the fingers at me, man? Oh, because there's only been one good one. So far, the top one is Hazy Bastard. Hazy Bastard. It's out in front. We've had some other ones, though. Had some good ones, but that one there, it's been given a bit of the odd nod.

47:11Keyzie:As I say, I like the catchiness of Three Honkers. Three Honkers Hazy.

47:15Mike Minogue:Yeah, that's a good one as well. I've got someone on the line, actually. G'day, Kane. How you going, man? Kaneus.

47:20Keyzie:Yeah, I'm going good. Myself, fellas? Yeah, can't complain, Kane. Tell me, Kane, what do you do for a crust? Oh, I want to start off by wishing you a happy birthday, Mr. Jizzball.

47:32Mike Minogue:Oh, thanks for happy birthday. Are you going to sing him a song there, Kaneus? No, no. No, mate, you don't need to do that. No, she's all good, mate. Good on you. Hey, Kane, what do you do for a crust, brother? I do a coolant bathroom repair, fellas. I was going to say, it sounds like you're in a bathroom.

47:49Keyzie:Backbone. What an absolute backbone. Have you got a name for us, Cain, most importantly? I do believe it's the Frothy Throbber.

48:00Mike Minogue:Frothy Throbber. Frobber with an F-R. Okay, Frothy Throbber. I don't mind that. Yeah, you like that? Frothy Throbber. It's fun to say. That's a good name there, Cain. Tell you what, man, you've got yourself an Emerson's hoodie. That's right. Oh, wicked fellas. Thank you. Get on you, mate. No worries. You hold the line there and old Pugs will get you sizing and he'll make it to spec. Frothy Frobber.

48:22Keyzie:Quite hard to say in a weird way. Frothy Frobber.

48:26Mike Minogue:No, it's Frothy Frobber. Frothy Frobber. Frothy Frobber. Frothy. Hey, Dunedin, bfs.co.nz if you'd like tickets. We're going to be down there. Are we? Shapeshifter, Troy Kingy, Reb Fountain, Park Road are going to be down there as well. Huge event. later in November, Friday and Saturday, the 27th and 28th.

48:45Keyzie:I tell you what, that is a hell of a musical line-up. It is. I'm looking forward to that. It's going to go off down in Dunnys.

48:52Mike Minogue:Take your dancing shoes, Jizz.

48:53Keyzie:Yeah, will do, man.

48:55Mike Minogue:Hey, speaking of music and dancing and that, Arctic Monkeys. The Hauraki Big Show with Jase, Mike and Keezy. Tune in weekdays at 4 on Radio Hauraki.

49:11Keyzie:Well, there you go, you mad bastards. That's the big show done and dusted for your Monday. It's been a pleasure having your company in the podcast outro now known as the Disclaimer podcast. What clip have you got for us today, Keezy?

49:27Mike Minogue:Today's clip, Jizz, is about you and your auctioning adventures. Oh, yes. Because Jase is addicted to an auction website. Yeah, that's right. He's got another addiction. Just get back on the darts for God's sake. Yeah, I reckon, eh? Comes out at 7.30 tonight. Here you go.

49:42Keyzie:You know what I found out today? What? My wife was bidding against me. She was trying to win it. For you? For my birthday.

49:51Mike Minogue:Oh, my God. So you were driving each other's bid. Wait, so did she overtake your bid? Was she the one that took it?

49:58Keyzie:Well, none of us won it because it got ridiculously, it was ridiculously expensive. But I was like, what? And she said, well, I know that you loved it. So I was like,

50:12Mike Minogue:Good stuff. That is good stuff. Wacky. Wacky, all right. It's crazy stuff. You wouldn't read about it.

50:19Keyzie:Mogi, your plans for the night, please. Well, look, I don't know if you guys know this, but it seems to be getting a little bit lighter in the evening. Isn't it great? It's just getting lighter and lighter and lighter. I can't believe it. So I will beat the feet home this evening and have a little bit of a meal. I don't know what's waiting for me, Jase. I couldn't tell you. Yes. But I think I'm going to be bed pretty early Because I'm absolutely boogered Yeah I'm boogered Jase Boogered? Yeah, I'm boogered, man Yeah What are you up to, Keezy, you mad dog? Hello Something absolutely sick, I'd imagine Yeah, boy, you get it What are you up to?

50:52Come on

50:53Mike Minogue:So I'm going to go home My wife and I are going to go for a wee walk Just because it's daylight savings Alright And have dinner I'm making teriyaki chicken Teriyaki chicken there Because we're going to Japan So I thought I'd get us I thought You had some rice as well Yeah Thinking about baby steps Just getting ready For the sort of food Over there And then She'll go to bed early And then I'm going to Play Playstation Diddles Yeah Jase what are you doing man Birthday boy Oh yes

51:23Keyzie:No look fellas Just a quiet night At the Hoody J house Just chilling out The Jizz Palace Yeah the Jizz Palace And yeah Quiet one with my wife And my daughter And you know Just taking it easy Which I like What did your daughter get you, by the way? You know what she got me? She told me, Dad, I'm doing a course next year and I've signed up for it. Great. Yeah, man. Well, that's great. Great. Yeah, so I was very excited about that. They also got me golf lessons. Oh, wow. How did they? Yeah. That's great. Good. I didn't know you needed golf lessons. So I can sort out my swing, Mogi. Nice, man. Because it's, you know, it's terrible.

52:05Keyzie:It's your short game, though, that's the problem. Yeah, that's what I mean. A short game, a putting. Hopefully we'll get them ironed out and get back on the course and give it a deduishing. Hey, but it's been a pleasure having you, company. You take care up there. Until tomorrow, goodbye.