FULL SHOW: Just Say NO (feat. Rhys Mathewson)

17:56But there's a weird leap between a couple of episodes where she goes from being sort of the one in control. And I don't know about this. And in the next episode, she's just really weak and wet and subservient to her. And you completely miss the beat where that complete change of character happened. So that's greatly annoyed me. Yes, fair enough. But outside of that, I'm really enjoying it. And I'll give it three and a half buzzies so far. But the last episode will determine whether it's any good at all.

18:22Keyzie:And it's gone. Gone. I'm watching a show called Legends. Oh, yeah. I've started that. On Netflix. and it's a dramatisation of the true story of British undercover customs investigators who infiltrated the drug world in the early 1990s and the cast includes Steve Coogan, Tom Burke and Hayley Squires. So it's a hell of a cast. However. Tom Burke, I really like as an actor actually. Which one's he? In the show? He's the young fella who takes it all on board and goes, yeah, I'm the man for the job. I see the guy that's on his own. Yeah, he's on his own. Yeah. Look, I'm actually really enjoying it.

19:08Keyzie:It occurred to me last night while I was watching it, because it's all about infiltrating the gangs and stuff, and they're all kind of misfity kind of people. It's got a little bit of Slow Horses vibe about it. Or an attempt at the show Slow Horses, where they're all kind of misfits and they're doing this crazy dangerous work. It's solid. The thing that kept me engaged with it is the fact that it has got a really good cast. And you won't often find Steve Kergan in something that's garbage. No. However, I found that the undercover cops are trying to infiltrate gangs that deal in heroin. And they do that by walking around in the neighbourhoods looking exactly like cops, staring at people either just standing on corners or sitting in cars alone for hours on end.

19:58and it was driving me insane. It was like, surely you know that that's not, there's no way that that was how they did it. So that really has annoyed me, but I'm sure it gets better after the first hit. It does.

20:08Keyzie:And as I say, it's not amazing, but I'll give it a solid three buzies out of five buzies. Like if we were hanging around with the Sons of Hauraki gang and then some random dweebs were like quite clearly staring at us from a car, we'd probably put the heroin away and leave. Totally. Well, this is the trick that these guys have though, They weren't looking straight out their windscreen. They were sitting in the car in broad daylight but looking at these guys in their rear view mirror. Yeah, we see they couldn't tell then, Keezy. They were sort of adopting that technique you used to have down at the netball courts, Keezy.

20:41Oh, this is a throwback. Where you'd sit there with your newspaper, with the holes cut in the newspaper so you could look through it and have a gaze. Yeah, so there was an old yarn. So my wife would be playing netball and I'd go and watch, but not watch her game. I'd stay in my car, back it in to the car park with the netball game behind me, have a newspaper open with eye holes cut in it, and then look at the rearview mirror and perv on everyone else. That's right. You're a little shocking, man. I've got to get back to doing that, man. I haven't done that in ages. You used to give that five buzzies.

21:14Did I? Is that where it started? Yeah, that's where it all began, man. Oh, what a throwback. That was only about four years ago. The Hauraki Big Show with Jase, Mike and Keezy. Tune in weekdays at four on Radio Hodaki.

21:30Keyzie:Welcome back, you massive backbones. Hope your Wednesday's going off. You're listening to The Big Show, by the way, brought to you by Toledo's. That's right, Toledo's natural electrolyte drinks. Tell your sports club to stock them today.

21:48Keyzie:Toledo's. Great stuff. Every day, the public won't know this, in the studio, they turn the aircon off. So it's always very nice and warm when we come in here. Do they turn it on or do they turn it off? They turn it off. Well, they change it in the sense that it becomes cool, doesn't it? Yeah, I think maybe you're right. They turn it on. Yes, and it goes from being warm to suddenly freezing. It's like after 5 o 'clock, everyone's gone home. Yes. So we're going to save some dollars here and just switch it on or off, whatever the case may be. Okay, sweet. So if it's warm and then it gets cold, they've turned it on.

22:30They've turned the air conditioning on. I think they have it on, it just circulates, because it always sort of seems to be at a different level. Anyway, let's not get bogged down. But yes, it does get cold. But I've got a question for you, which has just come to my attention. Jase, you've had a wardrobe change mid-show. You were wearing a T-shirt with a blazer, and now you're back in your Horeki Big Show uniform that you wear every single day. Yes. What's going on, man?

22:54Keyzie:Well, I actually wore the sweatshirt underneath my blazer today because it was a bit chilly out there. I love it. He wears that sweatshirt every day. And even when he changes his outfit, he still has it as part of his outfit. Yeah. You weren't wearing it. But then I got into work. Yes. And I was like, oh, it's a bit toasty in here. I'll take my sweatshirt off and get my jacket on with my T-shirt. Yeah. But then it got cold again, so I put my sweatshirt back on, but it's not so cold that I need to put my jacket on at this point. So when I leave for work, when I leave work, I'll probably put the jacket on top of my sweatshirt.

23:29And what about the T-shirt underneath? Will you take that off or leave that on?

23:32Keyzie:No, only when I go to bed, Gisey. But even then, I'll probably... But you leave that on. You leave your hooded shirt on. Yeah, I'll leave my hoodie on. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I never take that off. In bed, you sleep with it on? Yeah, totally, man. What do you have on your bottom half? Nothing. So you Winnie the Pooh it with that Nike sweatshirt? Yeah. God, that's so good. He's so hot, man. Hey, actually, Jase, you know, I shouldn't take the piss out of you, mate, because I've actually decided that the time has come for me to stand with you. Yes. You're currently halfway through giving up vaping for the month of May.

24:02Yes. Going bloody well, I'd say, but I think you need a bit of support in order to see out the month. Oh, well, I appreciate that, Keezy.

24:09Keyzie:I look forward to what you've got to offer. That's right. I've got my own bed I'd like to place. Can't wait to hear this. Yeah. Great stuff. Here's Foo Fighters. The Hauraki Big Show with Jase, Mike, and Keezy. Tune in weekdays at 4 on Radio Hauraki. Red hot chili peppers here on the Radio Hauraki. Big show this Wednesday evening. The time is 15 minutes past 5 o 'clock. Fellas, you know, we joke around a lot on the big show. We take the piss away, but there's one thing we shouldn't take the piss with, and that's our health.

24:45Have you been checking your ticket again? Huh? No, no. She's all good. Now, we've got a bet running with Hoity J, a.k.a. Jason Hoyt. A.k.a. the Vape Master. A.k.a. the Jizz Meister General. And that bet is for him to not vape for the month of May.

25:03Keyzie:I prefer JizzBot. And so I personally, I believe in Jase. I've put my cash forward. I've said he can do it. $100 is on the line. Mogey, you don't think he can. And I just think I couldn't sleep last night. I was up late and all I was thinking about is why are we taking the piss when it comes to Jase's health? Yeah, man. You know, I want to support you, Jase. I want you to win this bet. I want you to do it for longer than just May. Thank you, Keezy. I appreciate it, man. And so with that in mind, I've decided to bring to the table a bit of my own. Okay. I pledge that I will not have any alcohol for the rest of the year.

25:52for the rest of the year. No alcohol. Now, it's going to be hard because obviously we've got Magic Round this weekend and there's plenty of events and my whole life is kind of built around it. But I'm willing to do that for you, Jase. Well, I've actually gone this whole year without boozing and I'm going to do the rest of the year after Magic Round. and I could teach you a trick or two, Keezy, about how you could achieve this goal if you weren't so weak-willed, if you weren't such a massive alcoholic, if you weren't a slave to the piss. Well, I'm not a slave to the piss. Can I put 5 ,000 on that?

26:33No. And I'll put five grand on it too. Wait, so actually Pugs is in two.

26:39Keyzie:Pugs is up for five. He doesn't have five. And I'm only saying five just because Jase said five, but for me it could be ten. So you guys are putting 15 grand on the fact that I will do it? You will drink piss. You will drink piss, yeah. Actually, I will go 10. Yeah. I mean, I wish you all the best, man. Pugs is going 10 too. Yeah. You might as well go around 30. Yeah. 30K. Yeah. Well, I thought you guys were going to. Well, you can't just make a bet and have nobody on the other side of the bet. Otherwise, you're just saying that you're going to do something. I mean, you're supporting me here, Keezy.

27:15Yeah. And I appreciate it, man. But it doesn't feel like you're supporting me back. It feels like you're just trying to get rich off of it. Well, there's, you know, support and then there's easy money.

27:23Keyzie:You know, it's like when you guys bet on the Warriors, you know, and you know they're going to get their asses handed to them, but you do the bet anyway. But then you bet on the other team. Yeah, insurance. Insurance. Right. Yeah. I want you to succeed, Kesey. That's why I'm putting 15 grand on it. Because that's going to encourage you to really work hard because you're not going to want to lose 15 grand from you, 15 grand from me, Jason. Oh, Pugs has just gone up to 15 as well. Oh, right, so 45K now. Yeah, so you don't want to lose this bet. So all I have to do is not drink for the rest of the year and I get 45K.

28:05That's right. Correct.

28:10You can do it, man.

28:12Keyzie:I mean, we should do what you do with the pot and we should get the punters involved on 3483, actually. That's a great idea. Everyone can bet against you. And then, you know, we can see what we end up with, what the people are prepared to bet. Okay, before I agree to this, because it's obviously a lot of money, I've obviously got to chat to my wife about it. Maybe we should run like an experiment to see whether or not I can actually say no to the peer pressure. No, you've just got to do what Hoody J did, mate, and bite the ball. No, no, no. I think we need to do a practice run. Go hard. I think we need to do a practice run.

28:45Keyzie:Go hard. Okay. Let's do that next. Yeah, well, because you're going to be tempted, Keezy. There's going to be people that try and press you into it. So we'll do an improv next to see how you can get through that sort of stuff. The Hauraki Big Show with Jase, Mike, and Keezy. Tune in weekdays at 4 on Radio Hauraki. Blink 182 there on the Radio Hauraki. Big Show this Wednesday night. The time is 5.26. Let's do some improv. Quiet on set. Sound speed. Lights. Camera. Action. Now it's time for the Big Show Improv. So Kesey's made a bet that he's not going to drink for the rest of the year. Well, I'm still weighing it up.

29:32That's to support you and your no vaping bet that you've made. But it depends how I go with this improv right now, to be honest.

29:40Keyzie:Well, we've already locked it in for$45 ,000. Well, no, we haven't shaken on it. No, no, we were just sort of spitballing and stuff. Well, I didn't shake on my vape one either, and it's legit. But anyway, let's get to it. So obviously, oh, there's some backbones right behind you, Moe, that are annoying me.

30:00I'm going to put it to you this way, Hoity J. Keezy and myself are over at Magic Round. We've just arrived. We've gone to the very first bar. Yes. We've walked through the door, and it's my round first, Keezy. Right, okay. Okay. Let's see how you go. This is going to be the hardest test at Magic Round. Yeah. It's going to be tough. All right, so here's some bar ambiance. Hang on.

30:22We're at a bar. Do you hear that? Fire, Keezy. Yeah. Magic Round, baby. All right, I'm going to get five jugs of 4X and a couple of shots of tequila. What do you want? All good, man. And I might just get a – do you do a pint of Coke Zero? Is it – No. Pepsi? No. I'll just have a – do you have an orange juice? Yeah, we've got an orange juice. You can do the orange juice. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Can I just get a glass of orange juice, please?

30:51Keyzie:Yeah, yep. No worries. And I'll just have a little couple of shots of body there for you on the side, mate. No, no, I don't want that. Put them on the side, mate. Just put them straight in. Oh, straight in the – Straight in the – Oh, so screwdriver? You want to screwdriver? I don't need these. He's a shocking bastard when he gets the straight vodka in him. He gets a real handy son of a bitch. All right, fellas, thanks for that. There you go. That'll be$42. Thanks, mate. What are you saying, mate? I don't want any of the vodka. I just want the orange juice. Yeah, good one. I'm off the piss. Yeah, this is Australia, man.

31:19What do you mean this is Australia? It's okay. Well, if you're in Australia, you drink. Those are the rules. If you're not going to drink, you can pack your bags and you can beat it. What about that old lady over there? She's not drinking. Is she?

31:29Keyzie:Yeah, yeah, she was hammered before she came in. Always is. Right, okay. And he gets on the sherrys at about eight in the morning. What about that little kid over there? Hammered. Yeah, steamed. He likes the old, what do you call them, traffic lights with body in them. Yeah. You know, the old traffic lights? Actually, I could make you one of those if that's what you want. Can I? Yeah, there you go, traffic light and a little dose of body in their fells. That'll be$52. No, no, no, wait, wait, wait, wait. Can I just see the bar snack menu? Is that okay? Can I just look at the bar snack menu? Yeah, sure you can, mate.

32:00Okay, cool. Just looking here. What are your nachos like? Are they good?

32:07Keyzie:They're not bad, mate. Yeah. Not bad. I see here that they're coupled with tequila. You pair them with a tequila. Oh, the nachos? Yeah. Yeah, no, you do, yeah. Well, no, I just want the... And the lemon and the salt there. But you can put the salt in the nachos. It comes free with the tequila. No, a six-pack, you know, six shots with every grouping of nachos. A group. Mogi, Mogi. Yeah. If I order the nachos, can you have the tequila? Have it. Can you have the tequila? Honestly, Keezy, I feel like you should get on the piss, man, because you're unbearable sober. Well, I've literally done the same as I always am, Arthur.

32:40You're shocking, mate. What do you mean? People have been coming up to me and talking to me about it. Really? But we've not bumped into anyone. Yeah, I know. Listen, mate, you're pissing me off.

32:49Keyzie:Are you going to pay for the drinks or not? No, no, Mogi's paying. I'll just pay for the nachos, if that's all right, and the orange juice. And the chucks. Actually, man, I'll pay. I've just got to go to the toilet. I'll be right back. I'm just going to pop out. I'll be right back, man. See you later, man. I'll see you at the airport. I'll see you later, man. That'll be 85 bucks. Thanks, mate. Can I just do... Oh. The Hauraki Big Show. Weekdays from four on Radio Hauraki. Yes, indeed. Weezer there on the Radio Hauraki Big Show this glorious, glorious Wednesday evening. Now, the New Zealand Comedy Festival's on at the moment, International Comedy Festival.

33:29Keyzie:We've had a lot of comedians through, But we've got another comedian today who's with us, and it's not specifically for the New Zealand International Comedy Festival. It's for another fundraising activity. I'm talking about the one and only Rhys Mathewson. How are you, you mad bastard? Oh, my beautiful boys. It's good to see you again. It's been a while, isn't it? It's been about a year. Last time we were getting naked together. Yes. Oh my God, that's right. Was I in the tub? Not yet. I was in the bed. No, that was later. Yeah. That was a great day. Keezy did a wacky radio stunt where he was broadcasting from the bath.

34:03Did you not hear about it? Oh, I heard about it. Oh, mate. It sent ripples through New Zealand media. It was massive, wasn't it? It was massive. Speaking of massive, you guys got a massive fundraiser happening down in Wellington. Hey, smooth. So this is the Porneki House Party. Reece, you're part of this. And profits from this event, which is half music, half comedy, are actually going to be donated to the Mayoral Flood Relief Fund. What is the key to good sort of storm drainage? You know, because that's what it's all about, right? Wellington fixing the storm drainage and things like that and handling those big floods.

34:39And thank you for asking, and I was absolutely prepared for this. It's got to be scoria, right? Yeah. Just tons of scoria. Yeah, that's right. It's like a night out. You've got to lay a good base. Yes. And then from there, you're pretty much sorted. 100%.

34:51Keyzie:Leaves as well, Keezy. What about them? Leaves. They block up the gutters and stuff. He's not wrong. You've got to get rid of the leaves. You've got to have a good backwash system like they do down at the Moore Point sewerage system network down in Wellington there, where they put the backwash on that flushes out all the city's poos and puts it out in the ocean. I've always lived my life on a no backwash policy. Really? Backwash, man. That was a huge thing back in the day. It was a big thing, yeah. Yeah. But, Rhys, in all honesty, mate, our Wellington brothers and sisters, they've been under the gun, so this is a really good cause because it's been shithouse down there, let's be honest.

35:30Yeah, it has been. And, you know, us in the arts, we're not particularly skilled in any way, shape or form to actually materially help. Yes. But if we can put on a show and donate the proceeds, we're more than happy to do this. You're not going to dig a drain, are you? Oh, absolutely not. No way. No, no, no. No, no, no. Have you been given any thought to the apocalypse? Because I have. and I'm just thinking how quickly I'll be dead and that my wife and child are just, I wish them all the best. Yeah, right. I've been trying to figure out if I could commandeer a small twin prop plane and perhaps fly myself to Stewart Island.

36:03I feel like I'll be safe down there. Do you know how to fly? Absolutely not. But how hard could it really be? Yeah, well, exactly. You're the kind of guy in Stewart Island I've been there before, I don't know if you have. No, never. They would hate you.

36:16Keyzie:I've always felt you know in an apocalypse situation or a zombie situation I'd just build a tree house and drink piss I'm serious that'd be my way of dealing with it and by build a tree house he means sit in a tree yeah there'd be like two planks but you actually make a really good point having said that I mean comedians and artistes in general would not be well suited to the practical application of helping with flood relief. Having said that, old Kesey here, he had massive flooding in his house in West Auckland. That's right. You built a drain, didn't you, Kesey? You did. No, I didn't build a drain.

36:59Keyzie:I thought you dug it all up. I know, he drinks like a drain. That's a huge yarn to spin, just as I'm about to put my house on the market, that old Kesey's house was flooded. Are you kidding me? Yeah, it's a shocking joint. Yeah, I'd pay for an extra builder's report, a second opinion on that. Yeah, no, don't do it. We've got Rhys Mathewson here with us. He is one of a whole host of talented people as part of the Pornicare House Party. So it's happening this Sunday, May 17th at the Opera House. It is featuring comedians James Nokise, Michelle Accord, Rhys Mathewson, of course, Justine Smith. Torfinger's going to be there as well, Karen O 'Leary.

37:31So they're bringing the funnies, while Samuel Flint, Scott and Luke Buddha from the Phoenix Foundation and Dropper will be bringing the tunes. How good. I was going to ask Rhys, what are you doing, comedy or music? I'm going to try and do both. My dream is to do a real James Brown thing and do really short jokes with a hit me in the middle and then they can throw a little sting in. Is the band going to be on stage while the comedians are on stage? I think there is a house band. The Funkadelics are the house band. That's cool. New Zealand's got a proud history of fusing music and humour, don't we?

38:02Oh, here we go. Yeah. Don't we? This is where we start. You're, of course, talking about 2007 Billy T. Winners Mrs. Peacock. Yes, 100%. That's a deep cut. I'm glad you picked up on that. Should we go to a tune, Jase? Yeah. And come back after that with more Rhys Mathewson? Yeah, sure. And that sounds, what's the tune, Keezy? Faith No More. The Hauraki Big Show. Weekdays from four on Radio Hauraki.

38:28Keyzie:Faith No More there on the Radio Hauraki Big. What's so funny, Rhys? Your face really went like absolutely still. Like there was no one in there for a second. Yeah, that's it. Yeah, kind of vacant. Yeah. Yeah. Hey, we've got Reece Matthewson, comedian with us, because he's doing a fundraiser down in Wally, the Pawneki House Party. Is that what it's called? Yeah, sure is. Raising funds for flood relief, and they've had poos and stuff down there as well, so I'm sure it's all sort of for the one big cause, right? The Merrill Flood Relief Fund? Yes. Yeah, yeah. Is he right in saying, Reece, that that does involve getting the poos out of the water as well?

39:07Yeah, absolutely. It's sort of a, think of the largest sieve that you possibly can. Yes. Wow. Okay. Yeah, yeah, yeah. It's kind of panning for gold. And you can hand fish down there as well. Different nuggets. Hand fish? You can hand fish. They'll take you out on a barge or a raft and you can just pick your own.

39:24Keyzie:Oh, that's really nice. Yeah, yeah, yeah. This is where I could contribute because back in the day in the Aussie Outback, I used to work at a sewage plant with my poo breaking up stick. What was the official title? What was it? You're a log breaker. and a turd stirring plant. A log breaker. And a turd stirring plant. Yes. Do you think that would help, Rhys? I mean, I could sit there with my log breaker and just, you know, if there's any huge keezies out there, you know what I mean? Well, I've never been turd picking, but I have been strawberry picking. Same thing. I feel like I always eat more while I'm picking than what I actually leave with.

40:00Yeah, that's so true. I'm worried that would also be the case. As long as it's out of the water, that's the main thing. Oh, yeah, then fine. Yeah, that's great. Let's do it. Fill up a punnet, take it home, put it in the fridge.

40:07Keyzie:Rhys, of course it is the New Zealand International Comedy Festival going on at the moment as well as we speak. Are you doing anything in that or are you just sort of floating around doing bits and pieces here and there? Floating around, putting on some weird late-night shows. Yeah, nice. Yeah, yeah, yeah, just doing line-up shows. It's so fun just to be a part of the festival but not have the stress of... Having to do your own show. Yeah, yeah, yeah. But you're busy with other stuff as well because I saw you at Guy Mont, didn't I? Did I? Yeah. Yeah, so I'm one of the two head writers on the season of Guy Mont Spelling Bee that has filmed but not come out yet.

40:40An unbelievable show, let me say. Absolutely hysterical writing on that show. You make Guy Montgomery out to be infinitely more talented than he actually is. Well, that's his real skill, is that he's got all the charisma, but nothing going on on the inside. Yes, right. Now, Jace has been on that, and I understand he really embarrassed himself.

40:59Keyzie:Oh, well, we were on it together, Reece. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, well, I've... But it was one of those things I embarrass myself deliberately, Mogi. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. Because you don't want to go on there and be serious. No. So I deliberately misspelled words. Oh, is that your trick, was it? Yeah, right. Rhys. Rhys, didn't it? Rhys won. Oh, did you? I took it seriously. Is that how you got the head right or spot? My main mistake after that was reading the Reddit comments of going, this guy's taking it way too seriously. Oh, no. Get him out of there. Yeah. There is a delicate balance to be struck, though, isn't there?

41:32Because you want to win. You want to do it. Because there's people at home watching going, no, you idiot, this is how you spell it. Yes. You know? You don't just want to go in there and act like a wacky bastard and get out of there like old Jase. I was so wacky, man. Every day you are. I was really wacky. Rhys, we've got the Porniecker House Party happening this Sunday down in Wellington, as we said. It's at the Opera House raising funds for the Meryl Flood Relief Fund. If people want to win tickets for free, you can actually text house right now to 3483. Or head to comedyfestival.co.nz for more information.

42:03H-O-W-S-E. Yeah, good on you, Jase. We'll send you some free tickets. In terms of having a show down in Wellington like this, how does it work? Do you go down there and are you doing other shows while you're down there? No, it's a FIFO worker. Fly in, do the gig, fly out. That night? Yeah, next morning. Wow. Do you like to operate like that? Yeah, absolutely, man. I like to get out as soon as I can in any city. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I actually noticed when you came in here that you're sporting a wedding ring, and it looks pretty new, and it's a ripper of a ring. Can I say that? Oh, thank you very much.

42:39Very nice. Tell me about your marriage.

42:44I'm married to a wonderful woman. We've been together for 11 years. Wow. Married for three. Ah, nice. She started going to the gym around the same time I started going to therapy, so now I can properly communicate in a relationship, and she can beat the shit out of me. Yeah. That sounds like a great marriage. Rhys Matthewson, what kind of lover are you, man? Oh, occasional but invested. Yes, nice. Yeah, I like it. You know, I'm attentive. I'll put the legwork in. Legwork? Yeah, yeah, yeah. It's all legs with me. No back muscles, but a lot of glute work.

43:19Keyzie:Great stuff. Would you describe yourself as vigorous? Enthusiastic? Definitely enthusiastic. Fantastic. Right. Vigorous, occasionally. Yes. In parts, mainly towards the end. Well, Rhys Matthewson, thank you so much for coming in. Once again, if you'd like to go see the Porniki House Party, text HOUSE to 3483 or head to comedyfestival.co.nz. Rhys, thanks for coming in, mate. Always good to see you guys. The Hauraki Beat Show with Jace, Mike and Keezy. Tune in weekdays at four on Radio Hauraki. Welcome back, you massive backbones. Hope you're getting through your Wednesday night. You are in fact listening to The Big Show brought to you by Toledo's.

44:00That's right. Toledo's natural electrolyte drinks. Low in sugar. No preservatives. Made right here in Aotearoa.

44:10Keyzie:Toledo's. Ivan Cleary, fellas. Surprising? Because he's been pretty successful, hasn't he? He's a Panther coach. Are you referring to the news that he's stepping down at the end of next season? Yeah. I mean, I guess so. He's probably the greatest coach in recent history. It is. I'm very surprised, but it's the end of next year. It's not the end of this year. Yeah, I guess so, yeah. So, yeah, there's always something happening in Buckleague, I tell you. Totally, man. I reckon he wants to go State of Origin. If you think about it, you get to spend the whole year just sort of having a geese at the NRL, and then, you know, there's three games, and then you're done.

44:42Keyzie:Yeah. He'd be pretty keen, because I think he's New South Welshman, isn't he? And so you can imagine that he would be quite interested in setting up a dynasty for New South Wales, which has never happened for them. Well, it sort of did in the 80s. But it's never happened for them really in the modern era. But Queensland have always dominated. So I think it'd be great in that space. I think it'd be great too. And recently they had to reappoint Laurie Daly as the coach who had already went through a massive stint of losing. He was heavily involved in that giant Queensland run. Yes. The losing side of that anyway.

45:16So imagine that, put Clary in there. That dream job. Yeah. Sit there, a lot of pressure. He obviously would have to back himself. Three games a year. Yeah. Imagine if we only did three shows a year. Oh. Oh. We'd nail it, man. Imagine the pressure. Oh, my God. There'd be so much pressure.

45:35Keyzie:Hey, now, coming up, apparently, Keezy wants to call a show meeting. It's important. Not apparently. It's important. Okay, that's fine, man. That's all. It's all too. It's just something I thought about. Oh, jeez. It's just something I do. Whoa. He's smashing pumpkins. It's just. The Hauraki Big Show with Jace, Mike and Kesey Tune in weekdays at 4 on Radio Hauraki Shihad there on the Radio Hauraki Big Show this Wednesday evening The time is 6.13, let's have a show meeting Show meeting! Show meeting! Show me the meeting Show meeting is now in progress Fellas, you may have noticed that our producer Pugsan is in the studio with us Oh, it's Pug Sound Evening fellas, how are ya?

46:24Keyzie:Good, thanks man Thanks for asking Why was that so weird? I don't know Sort of a pregnant pause there, you all good man? Just a, g'day fellas, how's it going? Then we just say nothing Yeah, cheers fellas That would have been great Seriously fellas, the reason I've called a show meeting is Yesterday on the show We found out that we had been given a Hauraki Big Show credit card for the first time ever. Long time coming. We've needed one for bloody ages. Don't know why we haven't had one. It's got James Pugsley written on it. That's me. And the audience voted that, James, you should be in charge of the credit card.

46:59Thank you, Chris. Which is great. That's right. I had a thought, though. Here we go. How? No one knows where we're all going to be, right? Over the course of Magic Round specifically. We might get split up. You know, Jace is going to go to an art gallery or something. You know, like Mogies. Who knows? I don't even want to know. Well, you know, it's a team thing. We'll be near each other. You know what they'll like. We'll be in proximity. I don't know if we will. Well, we might all get split up. I will be. We might all get split up. What I'm suggesting, and I can't believe we didn't think of this, is why don't we all.

47:31Yes. Yes. No. He gets it. Why don't we all have a copy of the card on our phones. Oh, that's a good idea. On our Apple wallets. Yeah, right. Or the whatever equivalent of the. Google wallet, I think it's called. The Google wallet. And that way we've all got it. We all put our hand up and say, hey, we only use this if we get split up and only for meals and essentials. And what do we need? The receipt afterwards. Pretty easy to get a receipt afterwards. As long as we all remember to do that, take a photo of the receipt. How does that sound? I'm keen. I thought you were going to say we could have a day each.

48:07Ah. Wow. I mean, this way it's – I'll have it on Sunday. I kind of want it to – The day the wires are playing. I'll have it Friday. Yeah. Yeah. Which is the big thing. When do you want it, Pugs? You can have it on the Monday. Oh, I'll just. And I'll have it on the Saturday. So the day we come home. Yeah, the day we fly home, I can have the car. That sounds fair.

48:25Keyzie:You're too slow there, Pugs. You should have seen it on one of their bigger days. No, no, that's right. I'm taking my sweet time. Yeah. But I also, I'm not opposed to Keezy's. I mean. That's smart. God forbid. I'm in a lovely cafe there and I suddenly go, oh, bugger, I've forgotten my wallet. Yeah. Oh, hang on. I got my phone and my Google Pay. So that's lucky. Well, exactly. Phew. Like Pugs, for example. Yeah. You're not going to look Hoity J in the eye and say you don't trust him with it, are you? Do you see me looking him in the eye? Yeah. I don't trust you. Yeah, okay, that's fair enough. But what about old Mogey?

49:00What's that? Do you want me to look him in the eye? Yeah. Do you see me looking him in the eye? Oh, they're bulging, aren't they? I don't trust you either. Yeah, okay. He's sick. That's fair. Now, whose name was on the card? You said it before. James Pugsley. Yeah, right, okay. And who got voted to look after the card? James Poston. Right, okay. No, I'm just checking. No, sweet as. It's a cool idea, for sure. A nice workaround. But it does make sense. I like what you're saying there. My people, talk to your people. Okay, so you're not keen for that? Pugson has spoken. It's in my wallet there, so.

49:30Okay. Hey, all right. Try your damnedest. Okay. I get it. Wise words from Pugson. Thanks. Ooh. Oh, that always gets me. Jeez, you're getting really good at this, man. You're really good. People at home might not know this, but when Pugs comes in, he plays this live. It's because I'm doing it so much. What's the name of this instrument, Pugs? What's that? The Hauraki Big Show with Jace, Mike and Kesey. Tune in weekdays at four on Radio Hauraki.

49:58Keyzie:Live there on the Radio Hauraki Big Show this Wednesday evening, the time 6.26. Now, fellas, I actually should have brought this up in the show meeting, and it's to do with our travels to Brizzy. I've actually got a favour to ask. Now, we were talking about this the other day, packing. I understand that we all have a bag that, you know, what's it called? Check-in bag? We have check-in luggage, yes, and carry-on luggage. What's it called again? Check-in. Check-in. Check-in luggage. Check-in luggage. Now, it's my intention to just take-on, you know? Take-on. Carry-on. Carry-on. Take-out? Honestly, man.

50:37So you only want carry-on luggage. Carry-on luggage, right?

50:41Keyzie:Which is 7kg. Now, because I don't know about you, but I like to travel light. You know, I don't like too much admin. Because otherwise I end up doing a mogey and just leaving stuff in taxis and leaving them in lounges and on seats and stuff. I don't see why this has to be an attack on me. But you do like travelling lightly because you went to the batch and you took a T-shirt. That's right, yeah. Yeah, that's true. And you weigh about 7kg as well. I was having a little pack last night, And what I realised is that I'm a little bit over the 7kg threshold. And so I thought, I really don't want to have to have a proper suitcase situation here and have to check it in.

51:20Keyzie:And then at the other end, you've got to go and pick it up. It's just too much admin for me. So my solution is, if you guys are open to this, because you're all taking, you know, carry on, that I could distribute my excess carry-on into your carry-on, you know, and you just break it up into it. I can give Pug some, I can give you some, Mogi. I'm with you. And I can give Keezy some. I'm with you. That way I don't have to do the whole suit casing and I can still, you know, just take my carry-on. My carry-on's full, so. Is it? Yeah. Well, you know what you could do, and I'll be open to this. I was planning on just taking carry-on, but I could take a check bag instead, and that way you could give me that stuff and I'll put it into a check bag and then I'll check that in.

52:08Would that work? Oh, yeah, that would work for me. Because I could almost take all of it. Because how much carry-on? You've got seven kgs.

52:14Keyzie:Wow, it's about nine kgs. That's my point. That's why I was wanting to just, rather than get a suitcase scenario happening, just distribute it in your carry-on. Well, instead of that, instead of getting a suitcase scenario, what you could do is you could give me all of yours if you want. I'll check it in under my name in a check bag. Yeah. Have you got a bag big enough to take it off? There's some stuff I'd rather you didn't have, Keezy. Like what? Well, just stuff that I'll have in my personal belongings. That's fine. That I don't really want you sort of being a part of. Well, you don't trust me with it.

52:43Keyzie:Getting your massive snozz in there and having a little look in the toilet bag and going, oh, hello. So it's more just a couple of T-shirts, a couple of pairs of undies, some socks, maybe some shoes, that sort of thing, rather than anything major. Yeah. You're good with that? Yeah, well, I can help you out. Mogi, you're not helping at all. Well, I don't need to because you're helping out. Yeah, well, that's right. So you've got nine kilos to take, but you've got seven kilos allowance, so you need Keezy to take a suitcase in which he'll put two kilos of your stuff, put it into a bag that will get checked in.

53:18Then when we land in Brisbane, you'll stand next to Keezy while he waits for that suitcase to come out, and then grab it off and you'll be there for all of that. Is that what we're doing? It sounds good.

53:27Keyzie:No, no, I mean, I'd be outside waiting in the sun. Oh, what would you be doing? Yeah, well, no, I wouldn't be doing that. Just getting a bit of fresh air in the lungs because I get very angsty when I fly. You know what I mean? I need to get out of the airport as quickly as possible. Not for hoity J, the faffing around, waiting for luggage to arrive on the conveyor belt. Right, okay. So I've got a specific 2kg package. If you could just put that... What, two kgs of t-shirts for you? Well, it'll be miscellaneous. Let's just say miscellaneous. If you could put that two kg package in your suitcase, I'd appreciate that, Keezy.

54:04Keyzie:Is it drugs? And just act cool when you take it through, that's all. Is it drugs?

54:12Such a good song. You didn't answer the question.

54:15Keyzie:It doesn't matter what it is. It's just the fact that you're doing it for me. The Hauraki Big Show. Weekdays from four on Radio Hauraki.

54:30Keyzie:Well, there you go, you mad bastards. That's the Big Show done and dusted for this Wednesday evening. Now, we do a bit of bonus material before we start every show, and it's called the Podcast Outro. Yes. If you love your podcasts, go and check it out wherever you get them. What's the clip today from the Podcast Outro, Keezy? Today's clip is entitled Run Over and it comes out at 7.30 tonight. If you're going to cross the road while looking at your phone, you know what I mean? I agree. We're all better off. I agree, it's deserved. You know what I mean? One of them was quite an attractive young woman.

55:03Keyzie:Well, I mean, the fact that she was attractive is neither here nor there. It's neither here nor there. I worry about this show, I really do. If this is the future of the show, I worry. Agree? It got worse. It got so much worse. So go and check out the podcast outro. I don't think I'm actually in trouble on that, though. I was just joking around. Certainly didn't come across that way. The tone of it, you know, there was real hatred. You know when... What? No, it's all good. Just say you know when, then say nothing. It just... You instinctively know when someone's crossed the line, you know? You do.

55:41Keyzie:And it's like, oh, jeez. I saw Pugs screw up his face and that's always a sign when you started on that chat. Should I apologise for it now? No. There's no coming back from it. That should have sailed. What I really worry about is that episode of Woman's Day. Yeah. Because once they know how you feel. Do they come out in episodes? Do they? Yeah. That next episode is going to be a shocker. Hey, Moggy, what's the plan tonight? I'll just walk home and take things from there, man. No big plans. probably finish off gone. You know life, man. It's pretty boring. I'm really just waiting till magic round at the moment.

56:19And I sort of wake up in the middle of the night and I am excited. I'm in a holding pattern. I'm in a holding pattern. I said that first to you before, Keezy. Don't use my phrase.

56:29Keyzie:Now you're stealing other people's bloody content, Keezy. It's not content, it's a phrase. I'm pretty sure he did it. And so all I know is you can't fight your DNA when it comes to sink and piss, Jase. So come Friday, old Mogi's going to be on it. Responsibly. It's so funny you should say that because I was sitting here about five minutes ago going, we're off tomorrow. Oh, nice. And then I went, oh, no, hang on. Hang on. Hang on. We should have another show to go. What's for tea tonight, Keezy? Like a chicken stir-fry rice thing. Oh, God. It's not that bad. Jase, what are you doing tonight? Oh, no, man.

57:08He's so done. He's ready to go. I'm over it. You can't wait for those art galleries, man. He's already there. Totally. See you tomorrow.