FULL SHOW: Keep The Cash

9:22Keyzie:Yeah, if you keep it shut.

9:23Mike Minogue:I'll be happy. Yeah, to be honest, it wasn't electricians, so the bill to change whatever he was doing up there is probably about a quarter of a million.

9:30Keyzie:Yeah, that's probably true. Actually, I think that's very generous of you, Leah. I wouldn't give him half the cash. I'd go, listen, mate, I'll pop 10K in your pocket and mum's the word, all right?

9:42Mike Minogue:Yeah, pretty much, yeah. Or alternatively, you can put in a fake call to the police and, you know, get on the phone, act like you're calling the police, tell the electrician that that's what you've done, and he'll assume that you're giving the money back but you just keep the lot. You see what I'm saying there? Yeah, right. So you say, sorry, don't touch anything, man. Don't put your prints on it. That's right. Yeah, yeah, keep it.

10:05Keyzie:No, I want to create a web of criminality so I'd pay him off as well.

10:09Mike Minogue:Yeah, right, okay. Just so you can live in this sort of dream. Yeah, this kind of mobster world. Well, text machine on 3483 there, A lot of people are saying that the electrician definitely pocketed some. Yes. Yeah, quite possibly. It started out at half a mil. He's taken a quarter of a mil and going, look, I found 230 grand. Yeah, yeah, yeah. 232 and$444. But you're an electrician, right? So I'm assuming it's Christchurch. It might have been over summer or something. He's probably just got like a tool belt. Maybe he might have a toolbox thing with him, stuff cash into that, then go down and go, oh, hey, you might want to go have a look up there.

10:41Mike Minogue:And then, yeah.

10:42Keyzie:See you later. It's the perfect crime in a way because you've got another degree of separation from the whole scenario. You know what I mean?

10:48Mike Minogue:100%, yeah. Because you haven't bought the house. No. The only person who knows how much money was up there was the person who left it up there, though. And the electrician. And the electrician, yes. Yeah, yeah, yeah, which is perfect. A lot of texts on 3483. This one's from Nolsey. I would just act stupid and spend the lot. I mean, that's easy for Nolsey to do. Yeah, Nolsey is easy.

11:06Keyzie:Yeah, he's like, they'd be buying gold jewellery and stuff.

11:09Mike Minogue:Yeah, exactly. Heaps of piss. Connor reckons, take the cash and burn the bastard down. I don't know if$230 ,000 is enough to do that. Then have an insurance job. It's not bad. You reckon? It's not bad. Keep one bundle and hand the rest to the popo. So that could be the way to do it, is just to take a bit out, cover it back up, and then call the police.

11:31Keyzie:Yeah, the sticky tape on it again.

11:33Mike Minogue:Maybe that's why the couple were happy to accept the$40 ,000, because they're like, we're worried we're going to take it half. Oh, they weren't happy. They thought they should have got the whole lot. That's what they said. They said that they should have got the whole lot, and I tend to agree. I bet they now are like, we should never accept it. Yes, totally. Keep the cash, sell the house, move to Wanaka. You can jokingly say, what, is it drug money when a person comes back to ask what's in the ceiling? You can say, oh, is it drug money or something? You'd break in. Like, if it was my money and I'd left it there, I wouldn't be knocking on the door and asking if I could go in someone's ceiling.

12:04Keyzie:That's right. Yeah, so that's, you know, you don't need to worry. If it's going to happen, it's going to happen.

12:11Mike Minogue:What? What the hell does that mean?

12:13Keyzie:Well, I mean... C 'est la vie. C 'est la vie. Right, okay. So, C 'est la vie. Keezy, what goes up must come down. So they go in there, they break in when you're out, say. They don't find it, and then they go, oh, it's not here anymore. A rolling stone gathers no moss.

12:26Mike Minogue:But, you know, I know it does, Mogi. That's a really good point. But, you know, you're out, they break in, there's no money. You come home, they're waiting for you. You're going to break your legs and really just say, where's my money?

12:35Keyzie:Why don't we do an improv on this? Because I reckon I can act my way out of that. Oh, that would be good. Totally. Okay. Well, you were waiting for me to come home.

12:46Mike Minogue:I'm a gangster.

12:46Keyzie:You're a gangster, yeah.

12:48Mike Minogue:And what's Mogie? I'm another gangster. He's another gangster. Yeah, yeah, yeah. All right, let's do that. The Hodaki Big Show with Jace, Mike and Kesey. Tune in weekdays at four on Radio Hodaki.

13:00Keyzie:Green day there on the Radio Hodaki Big Show this Thursday afternoon. The time is 4.39.

13:06Mike Minogue:Fellas, next week on the Friday there, the 13th of March, We're going to be riding the Transalpine Railway. Did you say Friday the 13th? It is Friday the 13th. That's right.

13:25Mike Minogue:It's like a spooky train. Yeah, ghost train.

13:27Keyzie:You were saying yesterday, I think it was, actually, Keezy, that whenever I think of trains, I think of murders on trains and stuff. The Orient? Yeah, the Orient Express kind of thing. and it's going to be Friday the 13th. Who knows what could happen?

13:42Mike Minogue:We could do like a murder on the Transalpine. That's a good idea. Like an improv, but like for the whole train journey. Oh. You know what I mean? One of us is the murderer. Yes. Maybe, Jase, you get murdered. I'll get murdered. In the caboose. Yeah, it was Moggy in the caboose. Yeah, see, that would be fun, man. Yeah, that would be great.

14:00Keyzie:That would be really good.

14:01Mike Minogue:Well, just on the caboose, I have heard word, I had word from the top dogs there at the Transalpine that I am allowed in the caboose.

14:08Keyzie:Oh, yeah, good.

14:09Mike Minogue:Which is nice.

14:09Keyzie:Dream come true for you, Kesey. It is fine.

14:11Mike Minogue:I've always wanted to go in the caboose and, you know, I've never been allowed really, so that's exciting. Jase, they wanted to know, because obviously it's a big deal that we're on the train with everyone.

14:21Keyzie:Oh, it's a huge deal. Are there going to be other people on the train? Yeah, yeah, yeah.

14:24Mike Minogue:The South Islanders. Are you joking? They wanted to know if you guys wanted to go up into the engine of the train at the front there and actually run the train. You know what I mean? And actually, have you ever run a train before? Have I ever run a train? No, I've driven one. Well, that's what I mean. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

14:42Keyzie:You know, Mogi loves his trains, Keezy. I do, I do.

14:45Mike Minogue:But you strike me as someone who would have run a train before, Jase.

14:49Keyzie:Can't say I ever have, Keezy.

14:50Mike Minogue:Yeah, right, okay. Well, that'll be exciting though, right? You get to get up there, you can get on the intercom, you know, play with the lever there. Yeah, yeah, true. But look, I said I'd ask the fellas. Yes. And I said my gut feeling is that they would both be pretty keen to run a train. Yeah, it's a lot of pressure though. Yeah.

15:06Keyzie:and you're going to be in the caboose the whole time.

15:09Mike Minogue:Yeah, not the whole time, just for a bit. I think I'll probably start, you know, just in the sort of the regular.

15:17Keyzie:You'll start in the regular compartment. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And then you'll go to the carriage. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

15:23Mike Minogue:That's the one. Go into the caboose. Hey, fellas, it's got to be one hell of a trip. The train is consistently ranked among the world's most scenic rail experiences. Wow. Who's doing the ranking? Train experts. Wow. Not scenery experts? Yeah, no, sorry, you're right, scenery experts. Yeah, I would have thought so. What if train people know about scenery? Yeah, no, you're right, Mogi. That was a really stupid thing for me to say. Shocking. The train, of course, travels across the Southern Alps between Christchurch and Greymouth. We're doing a live show on the Thursday in Christchurch at Critic Bar at the Richmond Club.

15:54Mike Minogue:The next day, running a train, you guys are anyway, at the Transalpine across to Greymouth there. And then on Saturday, we will be at the Wild Food Festival. So I'm bloody excited.

16:03Keyzie:Yeah. It's going to be great. Well, it's a dream come true for you, Keezy.

16:08Mike Minogue:Great journeys, NZ.com, if you'd like to book tickets for the Transalpine, by the way.

16:13Keyzie:Beautiful.

16:14Mike Minogue:See you there. Here's Living Colour. The Hauraki Big Show, weekdays from four on Radio Hauraki.

16:20Keyzie:The Minchicks there on the Radio Hauraki Big Show this Thursday afternoon. The time is 4.51. Let's talk TV. What's on the telly with Mike Minogue?

16:35Yeah. Didn't watch anything last night, fellas. A bit of work there. A bit of work there.

16:41Mike Minogue:That's so cool. It was pretty cool. I actually did a 20-hour day yesterday. It's been a while since I've done one of those. That's great, man. That's so good. I watched a movie called Shell

16:57Keyzie:with the great Kate Hudson and Elizabeth Moss. Oh, yeah. Who I like as an actor. I like her, yeah. Elizabeth Moff. She's very good. Desperate to reclaim her career, once beloved actress Samantha Lake gets drawn into the glamorous world of wellness mogul Zoe Shannon, only to uncover a monstrous truth beneath the seemingly flawless surface. Yeah. It's basically a story of wanting to stay young forever. Right. And what we consider to be attractive in the world. And Elizabeth Moss' character, who was a successful actor, isn't getting much work. She's got sort of skin afflictions. She's put on weight.

17:44Keyzie:And she's feeling the pressure to be young and beautiful again. Yeah. So she goes along with it. It's stupid. Yeah. It's stupid. Where did you watch it? I watched it on Netflix. Why did you watch it? Elizabeth Moss is a very compelling actor, and it's purely her performance that kept me in it, to be honest. And it was so kind of stupid and mindless that my wife and I were quite happy to watch it. Right. You know what I mean? Yeah. There was enough interesting things happening for us to go, oh, okay, that's okay. How many buzzies out of five? Two buzzies. Wow. 1.8 buzzies. Wow. There was some male nudity in there, though, Keezy.

18:26Keyzie:And what sort of nudity are we talking about? Well, you see a few dudes. The dudes. Nice, man. That's great. But only two stars. Two buzzies. Yeah, 1.8 buzzies. Right. They weren't that impressive dudes. Not compared to Hoody J.

18:44Mike Minogue:Last night I watched the final episode of Small Town Scandal. Oh, did you? The Tom Sainsbury comedy. Same zone. It's on Neon there. Eight episodes. Really, really, really enjoyed it. It's just a really great New Zealand comedy series. I guessed who the murderer was in the first episode as one of those, like, oh, I reckon it could be them. Yeah, right. But you don't really know. No. You just point out characters like I reckon it was them. But to be honest, the whole way along, even when it comes to the final episode, until the final five minutes, you weren't actually sure who committed the murder.

19:16Mike Minogue:Right. But all the actors in it are really, really entertaining. They're all really wacky and goofy, and I was highly entertained the whole way through it. There might have been one episode there, Moggy, which is the one you mentioned, where it just dipped a wee bit, one episode. But other than that, really great, high-quality New Zealand comedy series. Yeah, good. What are we giving it, Keezy? Considering it's New Zealand, I'll give it 4.3 busies out of 5.

19:41Keyzie:What do you mean, considering it's New Zealand? That's patronising. That's saying we don't do very good stuff. So considering it's us, I'll give it a high score. What did you give it? 3. 4.3. Oh, 4.3.

19:55Mike Minogue:Well, considering it's New Zealand compared to a huge blockbuster like Night of the Seven Kingdoms, which I probably also gave about a 4.3 or something. I would also say, though, that I know what you're saying, Jase. I normally judge things more harshly because they're New Zealand made. But you should give them a bit of a break because everything that gets made in New Zealand is made on the smell of an oily rag. So you don't get any time to write the scripts or do anything properly. If you manage to make something that's even close to good, it's an effing miracle. Yeah, 100%. And I haven't enjoyed a New Zealand sitcom like this one, obviously, since Talkback and Wellington Parental.

20:30Mike Minogue:Oh, man, huge. But before that, that show Hounds. Yes. Great show. Favourite show of all time. Great show. Really, yeah. And that was the last time I've really enjoyed a New Zealand sitcom. That was great, that show, because they made one series of that. Yeah. And then it was cancelled. They buried it on Friday nights at about 10 p.m. So the people that would watch it like me were always out at the pub, but I just happened to be home one night, so I watched it and stayed home so I could watch a rest. Won Best Comedy Series. Yes. And then was immediately cancelled and they never made another series.

21:00It was a great show. It was a great show.

21:01Mike Minogue:I watched Hounds on TV3, I think it was. That's right. It might still be on there. So three now if you want another great Hounds, it's called, like Greyhounds. Here's Black Sabbath. The Hauraki Big Show with Jace, Mike and Keezy. Tune in weekdays at 4 on Radio Hauraki.

21:22Keyzie:Yeah, welcome back, you massive backbones. Hope your day's going very nicely indeed. You're listening to The Big Show brought to you by Toledo's.

21:31Mike Minogue:From work days to workouts, Toledo's keeps you balanced, refreshed, and ready to go. Toledo's. Nice mogi. Yeah, that was good, man. Just FYI, fellas, Toledo's, it's a natural electrolyte drink. Man, it's yum. It's low in sugar, no preservatives, natural flavours, natural colours, family-friendly, made in Aotearoa. Yeah, man. Family-friendly, that's important. Yeah, it's not R18. Give it to your kids there, Keezy. Yeah, because I've had R18 electrolyte drinks before. Yes. A bit full on. Yeah, well, that's the thing. You can give this to newborn babies. Really? And given the news that you're about to announce, Keezy, that's good stuff.

22:10Yeah, man.

22:12Keyzie:That is going to be a very special day. Our very first big, anyway.

22:15Mike Minogue:Yeah, yeah. When the day comes that I either do or maybe don't announce that I'm having children, no one's going to care or believe it because of the amount of times you've said I'm announcing I'm having a baby. Old Keezy's shooting blanks. Speak for yourself, Moggy.

22:32Keyzie:Yeah, there is that concern really, isn't there? Yeah.

22:35Mike Minogue:It's none of your business.

22:36Keyzie:I mean.

22:37Mike Minogue:It is none of your business.

22:39Keyzie:When I think about.

22:40Mike Minogue:Stop thinking about whatever it is.

22:43Keyzie:No, don't. Your dumplings and your beersies.

22:47Mike Minogue:What's the, do dumplings and beersies stop sperm count? Is that a thing? In excess, yeah, yeah.

22:52Keyzie:In excess. In excess, yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah. But I'm only having like, you know, 20 dumplings every now and then. Every second day. Yeah. Hey, now listen, we have got an action-packed hour coming up. Can I just say, don't go anywhere? Yeah, strap in. Yeah. Strap in and get ready. It's going to be next level. In the meantime, it's the White Strikes.

23:17Mike Minogue:The Hauraki Big Show with Jace, Mike and Kesey. Tune in weekdays at four on Radio Hauraki.

23:23Keyzie:Foo Fighters there on the Radio Hauraki Big Show this Thursday afternoon. The time is 13 minutes past five o 'clock, which means it's time for... Quiet on set. Sound speed. Lights. Camera. Action. Now it's time for the Big Show Improv. Well, basically the scenario is, as we were chatting earlier in the show, where a couple in Christchurch, I believe, had an electrician come over to their house. He popped up into the roof and found about$250 ,000 hidden under the insulation, which they then handed in to the police, but they wanted to keep. They went to court, they got$40 ,000, and the police got to keep the rest.

24:06Mike Minogue:Yeah, and so basically, Jase, you were saying you would have kept it. Yes. And then if a gangster or someone came around to get their drug money, you would just play dumb, you reckon? Well, play dumb, but act your way out of it. Yeah, which we doubted he could do. So just like a super acting performance that just completely throws us off. Yeah, which would be the first one you've ever had, right? So for this one then.

24:28Keyzie:I might just not act and just smack you in the head. Who? Smack you in the head.

24:34Mike Minogue:Are you acting Steve now? So you're going to play yourself. Yes. And then I'm a gangster who's come round. You see, it's already not believable. Yeah, it's not very believable. I'm not really a very good gangster, but I'm coming around to collect my drug money. Hello. Hello. You come around and you go, hey. Yeah, sure, I might do. It's improv, so you never know. And then, Mogi, who are you going to be? I'll probably be the electrician that found the money up in the ceiling. Okay, he's come back. Yeah, I'll be there as well. I'll just turn up at some point. Okay, all right. Do you want to say action?

25:05I'll probably be late, knowing the electricians. Yeah, yeah, true. Action.

25:20Keyzie:Oh, sorry about that. Click. Oh, g'day, mate. How you going? Hey, liking the singlet, brother. And the backwards cap there. Thank you. G'day, man. Fonzarella.

25:34Mike Minogue:Hey, my name's Tony. My name's Tony. This is a super weird story, but I actually used to live here in this house. Okay. Yeah.

25:44Keyzie:You don't look like you could have afforded it, but, yeah, no, fair enough.

25:47Mike Minogue:Yeah, I know, yeah. Yeah. But crazy story. We've been looking for a family heirloom, and we can't find it, and it was my dad's, and we're just trying to find it, and I think I might have left it in the attic. Would you mind if I went up in the attic and had a look?

26:00Keyzie:Not at all, mate.

26:01Mike Minogue:What are you doing? Sorry.

26:03Keyzie:G'day, John. G'day, mate. This is Gaz. Sorry, he's just doing a bit of work around the place. So you're John.

26:08Mike Minogue:What are you doing, man? Just up in the ceiling there, I think. I think I left a family early. It's weird, this place. It's got no excess up there. It's got no excess. What do you mean? You can't get in there. No, you can't. I used to live here. We used to store stuff up there. You used to.

26:24Keyzie:No, it's been sealed off since then. Yeah, we sealed it off. With what? Glue.

26:29Mike Minogue:That's all right. Honestly, I don't mind cutting through the glue. Well, we do. I mean, I don't want to speak on your behalf there, Chris, but I mind.

26:36Keyzie:Yeah, no, Gaz is making a good point there. I mean, we've sealed it all off now. All right, here's the deal, man. Just excuse Gaz. All right, here's the deal. Listen, wait. Shut up. No, wait. No, you wait. Listen. No, wait. Listen. Go on. Go on. Before you get to the point. Listen. I've just got to say that Gaz went to tech, so he might sound a bit odd.

26:57Mike Minogue:Just listen to me, all right? The family heirloom, I really need it. It is bloody important. Right. I will replace any.

27:05Keyzie:Well, it can't have been that important, mate. You left it behind. Yeah, you forgot all that. To be honest, mate. You're a bit of a dear brain as well.

27:10Mike Minogue:That is a fair point. Yeah. Look, I'm not the smartest guy. You've also said that I look poor as well. So right now I'm getting a bit frustrated. Okay. I've tried to be nice about this. He's talking through his feelings with us. Oh, that's lovely. You've invited your frigging cabbage of an electrician to come over.

27:28Keyzie:He's doing some work around the house, mate. He didn't avoid me. If you don't mind. I don't really like the tone you're taking here, mate. I don't like the tone you're taking here, mate. That Gaz is a cabin. Let me get the roof, all right?

27:40Mike Minogue:I need to get my drug money. Oh, they're yours. Yeah. I mean. Oh, so you know about it. What drug? Damn it. Oh, come on, Gaz, man. Is it still there? Have you taken it? We better still be there. What? It better still be there. I'll break your legs. They look like they've already been broken before. Sure, man. Had seen. Do you reckon you would have done well in that situation?

28:05Keyzie:I would have taken you easy, man.

28:07Mike Minogue:Yeah, but only if your bizarre electrician shows up at the same time. Jeez.

28:15Keyzie:Oh, no. Jeez. You weren't intimidating at all, Geezy. You wouldn't shut up.

28:23Mike Minogue:You'd give me time to be intimidating. And you kept going, hey.

28:30Keyzie:Yeah, good stuff, eh? Here's a bit of Radiohead.

28:34Mike Minogue:The Hauraki Big Show. Weekdays from four on Radio Hauraki.

28:40Keyzie:Red hot. Chilli peppers there on the Radio Hauraki Big Show this Thursday afternoon. The time is 5.26. And some magnificent sporting action in the early hours of the morn, Mogi. Absolutely unbelievable.

28:55Mike Minogue:Sorry, is this sport chat? Might as well be.

28:58Keyzie:Yeah.

28:59Mike Minogue:Back.

29:04Mike Minogue:Bone Field Ah Ball Yeah, that's right. Last night, the first of the semifinals in the T20 World Cup being played over in India occurred between South Africa and New Zealand. Of course, we got towed up in the round robin game by South Africa. We'd lost five consecutive matches against them in T20s last night. That all changed. Sure did. Bowled South Africa out. I think they got 169 for eight. New Zealand, we got that score. We got 173 with 43 balls remaining. Holy cow. We chased it down in 12.5 overs for the loss of one wicket. And the star of the show was one, Finn Allen. And I just want to take you through.

29:49He got a 33-ball ton. Unbelievable. Fastest ton in history at T20 World Cup. My understanding is the fastest was by the Netherlands versus Botswana or something like that. Okay. So these are his scoring deliveries. Keep in mind that out of his 33 balls faced, he had four dot balls. Yeah. Unbelievable. 1-4-0-6-1-4. So in his first over, he scored 16. In his second over, 6-4-0-4-2-6. Third was 4-1-6-0-4-6. then a single, then 4-6-4-1-6, then 0-4-6-4-6-4, then 4-6-4.

30:36Mike Minogue:If you've just joined us, Mokey's just reading out his credit card number.

30:40Keyzie:Isn't that unbelievable? It's ridiculous. It's one of those days where everything must have just clicked and it was as sweet as a nut.

30:48Mike Minogue:It was like me today, actually. He got 61 off the last 15 balls from what I can see. there or 18 balls. Not bad. Yeah, that's amazing. Not bad. So now we're waiting for the results of the second semifinal, which is tonight, England versus India, and then we will have the final, I believe it's Sunday night going into Monday morning around about 2.30. Another final, man. Yeah. And we have got to be due, don't we? We have got to be due.

31:14Keyzie:You'd think so actually, but it's amazing how well we do tend to go at these tournaments, but it would be good to win one for sure. Oh, it would be so good. Particularly against someone like India even, would be great. I'd love to beat India in India. Yes. That would be marvellous. Also, revenge against England for the travesty of the one-day World Cup. I'm happy with either of those. Yes. What I won't be happy with is a loss.

31:38Mike Minogue:Monday, 2.30am. Yeah. That's when the final is. You fellas going to watch that live? I think you kind of need to. Yes. Yeah. I think so. It's only a few hours. Yeah. Get the kit up, you know.

31:49Keyzie:Do a bit of work. Yeah, do a bit of work. Make a Milo. Get some cheese toasties.

31:54Mike Minogue:I have such great memories of, it was always the All Blacks versus South Africa. Yes. Waking up at three, we all would sleep in the lounge. Yeah. And wake up and watch it, have a Milo. Yeah. Have cheese toasties and stuff. That was such good memories. Yeah. You don't do that anymore, do you? I don't know. The World Cup's a good reason, though. It is. It's a very good reason. It's going to be a ripper, man. It's going to be an absolute ripper. So looking forward to it. Yeah. Hey, coming up shortly, fellas, I've got a bone to pick with breakfast. The Hauraki Big Show with Jace, Mike, and Keezy. Tune in weekdays at 4 on Radio Hauraki.

32:26Keyzie:Metallica there on the Radio Hauraki big show this Thursday evening. The time is 5.52 and fellas have had a shocker. What a sting for that or anything? We should have a sting for that.

32:37Mike Minogue:What is it called? I've had a shocker. Jase has had a shocker. We should each have one. Okay.

32:43Keyzie:Now you'll recall of course it was my wife's birthday this week and I failed dismally. Oh we recall. Yes. and I ordered two things online. The good news is one of them turned up. What was it? So that's none of your bees. It was a magnificent bouquet of flowers with a beautifully handwritten, well, not a handwritten note, but a note from her husband that made her cry. Was it written by the courier? Yeah. Did it make her cry because it was a day late? No, it was actually on time. Right, okay. Did the note say payable on delivery? Now, the second part of my present didn't turn up, and I was like, what the f is going on there?

33:24Keyzie:And I went on my phone and into my email, my Gmail, in fact, to say, where's that bloody confirmation thing, you know, where you can trap where your bloody thing is? And I couldn't find it. I was like, where the hell is that? And I realised they didn't have a confirmation email, even though they said they were going to send me one. And then I went into my bank account, and the money hadn't even gone out. So it hasn't even – it's not even happening. What do you think happened there?

33:50Mike Minogue:I don't know. I know what happened. I think he found the thing he was going to order. He thought about it. And then he took a screenshot of it. Yeah. And then he thought that was ordering it. But that's – You're like Alf from that TV show.

34:03Keyzie:That's not my shocker. And I went, oh, shit, I better get my ass into gear here and sort this out. And there's been a jacket that I've seen that I think would be awesome in my wife, right? Now, I went down to the place where this jacket was selling today. Great, very cool, sort of retro kind of jacket. Posty Plus? Salvation Army? And no. And I asked what the price was, and I was like, oh, jeez. Eight bucks. And then we were talking about sizes. Now, I've told you this story before because it's a true story, and it was an absolute shocker on my behalf. A few years back, I went to buy my wife a dress, and the woman that was, you know, helping me out to buy the dress, she said, what size is she?

34:50Keyzie:And I said, oh, well, she's pretty slim. And she said, and this is to my eternal shame true, she said, okay, well, when you say slim, you mean my kind of slim? And before I'd even thought it through in my head, I went, oh, shit, no, she's much slimmer than that.

35:07Mike Minogue:That is so offensive.

35:08Keyzie:And her face was like thunder. Well, whose fault's that? Well, it was a shocker. But anyway, I had that same scenario again today because she was saying, what size is your wife? And I was going, oh, well, she's a little bit taller than me and she's pretty slim. And she was like, well, looking at me, would you, that kind of slim? And I was like, oh, God, here we go again. How do you deal with this situation? So I was like, oh, no, she's just medium. Yeah. She's medium. She's medium.

35:42Mike Minogue:So that's... That's like you're ordering a curry. It's tricky, isn't it? Because you can say what you've done there is you've said, oh, she's as tall as me, which doesn't really make anyone any the wiser. No, that's right. She's as tall as me, but I can't, you know, I wouldn't be able to pick her up.

35:58Keyzie:Yes. Plus, if you say she's as tall as me,

36:00Mike Minogue:they'll direct you to the kids section.

36:02Keyzie:You know, but when they... Keezy, when they put it onto them and they're saying, compare your wife's body to my body. Yeah. You know what I mean? Totally. That's a tough one. You just couldn't resist.

36:16Mike Minogue:I guess it's hard because I've never been in that situation because I kind of know. Firstly, I never buy my wife clothing. Right. Ever.

36:24Keyzie:Yeah, it's a risky business, I'll admit.

36:26Mike Minogue:And also you don't know if she's actually going to like it or not. Oh, she won't. But also I roughly know. I do know my wife's size. Yeah.

36:32Keyzie:Yeah, well, same, but I'm not specific about it. So you don't? I don't go 14C. But that's what knowing someone's sizes, yeah. Yeah, yeah. So in the end, I've walked away from the scenario and Pugs was like, well, take a photo of her favourite jacket. And I'm like, oh, I don't know what her favourite jacket is. She's got about, you know, 10 of the bastards. I struggle to remember her name. Who?

37:02Mike Minogue:The Hauraki Big Show with Jace, Mike and Keezy. Tune in weekdays at four on Radio Hauraki.

37:08Keyzie:Welcome back, you massive backbones. How you going, all right? You're listening to The Big Show, brought to you by Toledo's.

37:15Mike Minogue:Rehydrate the right way with Toledo's, real ingredients and natural colours. Get it in ya.

37:22Keyzie:What I find, fellas, after a salty packet of crisps, there's nothing like a Toledo's to wash it all down. Can I say that I feel like we've been let down around here? There has been a change in the furnishings. We used to have a fridge that sat right outside here. It was full of beers and Toledos, and now the ACC have taken that fridge, so we've got no Toledos handy, and it's not on. They've also – well, the ACC have got a big fridge in the back there. That's all locked up, though. I don't know why they do that, and it's got Toledos in it. It has got Toledos in it. They're our bloody sponsor. What are they doing locking it away?

38:03Keyzie:That's a good question. It really gets deep inside my goat.

38:08Mike Minogue:I mean, I know why they've locked it. Right. Because people go in there and steal shit all the time, daily. In fact, every afternoon between 4 and 7, people go in there and steal stuff. From the fridge.

38:18Keyzie:Not out of the fridge. Not out of the fridge, Casey. Because it's locked.

38:20Mike Minogue:Because it's locked. If it wasn't locked, it would be out of the fridge as well. What are you trying to suggest, man? I'm not suggesting anything, Jason. Are you saying that Mogi's a thief? Nah, because he promised Oh wait, I've just noticed that he's also got a bag of chips right now Yeah, Lane said I could eat these ones They're the little bags

38:38Keyzie:You see, I don't even go there anymore It's not worth a hassle You're a shocker, Jase, man You are a shocker Hey, Keezy, what's coming up in this hour, man?

38:49Mike Minogue:Coming up next, fellas It was such a hit yesterday Keezy's What's in the News with me, Keezy Yes It's a new segment, we're going to be doing it maybe daily I'll just be rifling through the news and finding the stories you need to know about

39:02Keyzie:Hang on, this isn't replacing what's on the dinner with me Keezy

39:06Mike Minogue:No, we do that on Tuesdays

39:07Keyzie:And Thursdays No we don't, what are you talking about? Filthy Disgrace

39:14Mike Minogue:Can you wait till the end of the break before you eat chips? It's disgusting Incubus The Hauraki Big Show Weekdays from 4 on Radio Hauraki

39:26Keyzie:Gorilla's there on the Radio Hauraki Big Show this Thursday evening. The time is 12 minutes past 6 o 'clock. Normally at this time on a Thursday we do What's on the Dinner with Me, Keezy. No, we don't.

39:36Mike Minogue:That is a yarn. No, we don't.

39:37Keyzie:But no, no, no, Keezy's got something better, he reckons.

39:43Mike Minogue:What's on the News with Me, Dinner, Keezy. It's not What's on the News with Me, Dinner. That doesn't make any sense, Moggy. do you think I'm getting typecast as a guy who just does segments called what's on the something with me Keezy? You've got to have something going for you man and you've got a lot having those sort of little segments man it's killer it's killer chicks love it thanks Mo it's not a new thing that we're doing it's a reference from like 40 years ago 50 for Christ's sake Alright, Keezy's News What's on the news with me, Keezy or whatever the hell it's called Basically every day I'll bring you a news article Every day?

40:30Mike Minogue:I don't know Not the weekend, sure Jase, just let me run this little one segment, man Alright? Basically how it'll work is I'll bring you some sort of news that you need to hear about Something from that day Today's is interesting

40:43Keyzie:Like you did yesterday and it was a year old

40:46Mike Minogue:No, but the ruling came out yesterday Jase, just let me do this Okay, so today. All the years gone out of this. Today in Italy, a researcher named Valentina Salerno found some archived. Oh, God, jeez. What? Can't even say his name. It's a female, by the way. That is sexist. Why, only a male can be a researcher, Jase. Really? God, that's terrible. Valentina. It's Valentina Salerno. Today she found some archived documents. What time today? I don't freaking know, man. Old news boy. Don't call me old news boy. It's quite a funny name, actually. She found some documents that suggested, they were long lost documents, found them, translated them, worked through them all, suggested that Michelangelo, the Renaissance painter, sculptor, what?

41:39Mike Minogue:Renaissance. Renaissance sculptor, painter, genius, really, from the 1500s. Yeah. He might have some works, hidden works, locked away somewhere in a secret room. He might. According to these documents, because the Medici family, who were very powerful at the time, they actually put a death sentence on him. Yeah. A lot of political turmoil going on. This is news today, is it? Yeah, they were found today. No, I know he's from 500 years ago. It is from a little while back here. You thought a year old. Hell yeah.

42:13Keyzie:Fellas. So, and finish the whatever it is

42:17Mike Minogue:So basically, she's saying According to some documents that were found Very recently

42:21Keyzie:You said today

42:24Mike Minogue:So literally today

42:26Keyzie:She found these documents And went straight on to the news

42:29Mike Minogue:I don't know, but it's news today It's news to you It's news to friggin' everyone, Moggy You don't even know what the renaissance is Yeah, I do, it's like a source, isn't it? the documents say that there could be a room somewhere apparently it has three locks on it three separate keys that were given out to three different students of michelangelo's art school containing secret works that nobody knows about right and he did that to get to make sure they didn't end up in the hands of his nephew who would have inherited them who he hated okay must be a hell of a door can't get in there well they don't even know where it is to me and Look, obviously you didn't write this article, Kesey, in this newspaper that definitely exists.

43:15But you would have thought that the news would have been, oh, read that piece of paper there, old Valentina there, then go and find the room and find the artworks and then say, hey, look what we found, as opposed to there could be, there may be, there might be. There might be. You see what I'm saying? She found 500-year-old documents.

43:35Mike Minogue:Like, that's a treasure in itself.

43:37Keyzie:Oh, hello. Life. I've just found a document. What is it? There could be... A diduge coming Keezy's way. Yes.

43:47Mike Minogue:Guys, I'm going to stop doing this segment if you guys aren't going to respect it. Oh, no, please don't. Jase. The Hauraki Big Show with Jase, Mike and Keezy. Tune in weekdays at four on Radio Hauraki.

43:59Keyzie:Tom Petty and the Heartbreakers there on the Radio Hauraki Big Show this Thursday evening. Do you find Tom Petty a bit whiny sometimes? I think he's one of the greatest we've ever had.

44:13Terrible, terrible opium addiction. Opioids. Opioids. You remember Jase? He used to come around for a barbecue. What a legend. Drop off of Saucy's and that, and then next thing you know, where is he? He's nodding off in the toilet. Yeah, man. Tom Petty. Shocking bastard.

44:28Mike Minogue:Yeah. Really? Oh, yeah. I didn't know you guys knew Tom Petty. Oh, yeah. Yeah, man. But you'd diss his music like that on the radio, especially after he's passed away.

44:36Keyzie:He was a good bloke. Yeah, he was a nice guy. Do it to his face. He didn't care. Yeah.

44:40Mike Minogue:I think he, okay. I used to do that. He was off his face on the age. Yeah, well, yeah, yeah, totally. Yeah, true that, fellas. Hey, do you guys like boats?

44:52Mike Minogue:Fellas, you do? Yes. Okay. Oh, that's a relief. What kind of boat are we talking about? We're not going to need details. I need numbers and letters that make no sense. Hit me. Well, it was actually the Auckland Boat Show, which is on this weekend.

45:08Keyzie:Oh, is it? Oh, how good. I love a boat show. Yeah, same, man. There's lots of different kinds of boats.

45:14Mike Minogue:That's right, Jase. It's the 25th edition of the Auckland Boat Show. Has that been 25 years? Sure has, Mogus. The Viaduct Events Centre, Jellicoe Harbour there, down in Auckland, right? Yeah. They've got a whole heap of boats actually sitting in the water that you can take out on the sea to test, over 30 boats. We've got boats in the water. Far out. Why don't you say it like that, Mogey? It's crazy. No, it is crazy because you're at a boat show. Usually they're just like parked up on trailers and the sorts of stuff. The ones I've been to, yeah. Whereas this one, in there you can actually drive it on the ocean and see if you like it.

45:47Mike Minogue:Oh, I might go and do that this weekend then, actually.

45:50Keyzie:That sounds like a bit of me going to do a bit of fishing.

45:52Mike Minogue:You can't take the boat fishing. Why not? That's what I'd use it for. Sounds like there's a lot of rules down there. Are you going to take a boat from the boat show and take it out past the heads and... Do a bit of fishing. Come on, man, you can't do that. Take it out to the goats. The goats? Goat Islands. Well, hang on, isn't that a reserve? Yeah. Yeah. They reserve it for us to go fishing. Oh, the reserve for you guys.

46:17Keyzie:Bloody good fishing there, I can tell you.

46:19Mike Minogue:It's the largest gathering of marine companies in New Zealand. Everything from inflatables, amphibious boats, electronic services, marinas, clothing, equipment, launches, sailing yachts, etc. You name it, they've got it.

46:31Keyzie:Actually, speaking of launches.

46:33Mike Minogue:Hovercrafts?

46:33Keyzie:No, they don't have those. Speaking of launches, I've been thinking about what I should do with my dog squad money. Oh, yeah. So maybe the old launch is just the ticket. That's a beauty of boats, man. They just get. They appreciate and value, man. They're awesome.

46:47Mike Minogue:Yeah, yeah. Hey, if you're keen to go along, AucklandBoatShow.com for event tickets. Also, you can see our Finchaser 535 centre console down there. If you want to win that, sucker, 75k. Oh, man. Text BOAT to 3483. Good stuff, man.

47:03Mike Minogue:Are you ready? Yeah, I reckon. You ready for a good time? Yeah, man. The Hauraki Big Show. Weekdays from four on Radio Hauraki.

47:12Keyzie:Supergrass there on the Radio Hauraki Big Show. This first evening, the time is 6.34. Fellas, I've been having to miss you, as you know, with my cat, Birdshit Chris. Birdshit Chris. She loves that sting, by the way. Every time I play it during the podcast, she goes running up to the speaker. The cat does. The cat does. Absolutely loves it. It's cute. And then sprays all over the speaker. And then does big dumps on my bed. Yeah, nice. So that's what my cat does. Weasel over my bed and poos all over my bed. But I love it. It's a cool cat. I don't blame the cat for that behavior. But it's gotten – we've had it for maybe, what, 10 weeks or so now, so it's about five months old.

47:53We've been letting it outside in the backyard. It just stands at the back door and just meows like a bastard, which is really fun. I'm finding it very entertaining. Just meows, meows, never ends. And what it's started doing now is it's gotten up onto the fence. Now the fence, as you guys know, it's 12 feet high. Wow. When we moved in there, it was six feet high. I said, it's not going to do us, man. We're going to need another six on there. I don't want anybody looking into my backyard. Anyway, it's found its way up there. And it's only a little bugger. I worry about it. But the only way it's going to learn is if you let it have a little bit of an adventure and all that sort of carry on.

48:28Correct. Anyway, it was sort of creeping along the fence, and I went out there and I said, Bitch it, Chris, you're good? And it sort of looked over at me at a critical moment. And its front paw, right paw slipped, and it just fell clean off. Oh, no, 12 foot. 12 foot clean off this bloody fence there. And it was just hurtling towards the ground, spine first. Wow, yes, jeez. And that's not good. And then, you know, with about, I don't know, two inches left to go before it hit the ground, it just spun around and landed on its feet. It was fine. Yeah, that's right. Oh, my God. And that's the thing about cats is cats will always land on their feet.

49:09Now, everybody knows that observation, Casey. Yeah, I've heard that before. You've known that as well. But what you won't know is that Jase and I were the first ones to make that observation because there was a time, wasn't there, Jase? Yes. When people hadn't made the observation that cats always land on their feet. feet. Well, you think about it. Somebody had to be the first.

49:26Mike Minogue:No, 100%. And I suppose it is something that I know now, and everyone does know it. But you're right, someone has to point that out and then obviously run some sort of experiment, you know what I mean? Yes, that's right. And go, oh wow, they're constantly landing on their feet. That's right. Amazing, isn't it? Yeah, and that's exactly what happened. Because you sort of know, and to be fair Jason, those days we were smoking a fair amount of the old gunger. Right, okay. So this was a while ago. Fair amount? responsibly. It was an unfair amount. Was it? Yeah. And responsibly. Oh yeah, and legally.

49:59Medicinally. I can't even remember which one of us it was, but one of us said, geez, that cat there, because there was another cat that had fallen off. Yeah. Fallen off, and then there was another one. You remember that one over the road, old Bug Eye? Yeah, yeah, yeah. He was always getting run over in that. Dirty little tummy. He'd go bloody flying, but he'd always land on his feet and it'd be all good. And then I can't remember which one of us said, geez, look at these bloody cats, they always land on their feet and it was like bing light bulb went off yes right and exactly as you say let's run an experiment and that's what we did and it's true and so then we went out there and just told everyone cats always land on their feet and everyone's like bullshit and then everyone else started looking at cats and they're like oh my god it's true and then it became a thing yeah it did it becomes part of the vernacular bloody quick it does yeah yeah so what was the what was the experiment what were you doing what was the experiment because you would have had to um

50:49Mike Minogue:you would have had to you know do quite a lot of research yeah we just we got about what was there 40 or 50 of them and we just threw them off the sky tower there

51:05onto mattresses

51:06Mike Minogue:oh yeah yeah cool The Hauraki Beat Show with Jase, Mike and Keezy tune in weekdays at 4 on Radio Hauraki

51:22Keyzie:Well, there you go, you mad basses. That's a big show done and dusted for you Thursday. Make sure you tune in tomorrow, by the way, for the Friday Trubber. What's the podcast outro clip today, Keezy?

51:33Mike Minogue:You're holding back indigestion there, man. Yeah, a little bit, yeah. Oh, too many chips. No, it was my Nicorette. Oh, yeah. Cool, cool. What does it taste like, Nicorette and salt and vinegar together?

51:43Keyzie:Well, no, the salt and vinegar is well and truly passed through the passage. Nicorette is a real, she's an acquired taste, because Marge, my mum, she's still on them after all these years. She's been off the durries for, gee whiz, 20-odd years? Yeah. But she still smashes them, and when I've jumped on the Nicorette, they're hard yards, man. It's not a good taste by any shape. It's a burn. Yeah, it is. It's a burn in the side of your cheek. It's like chewing backy. And that's part of the addiction as well? Yes. It's bring the burn, yeah, right. Yeah, yeah, totally. So it's quite like smoking Kesey in that your first experiences of it, you'll hate it, but if you stick with it, eventually you'll be massively addicted.

52:19Yes.

52:20Mike Minogue:Oh, that sounds great. Hey, the podcast outro today was us chatting about school socials. Going to my first ever school social, it must have been like 10 or 12, and I had a Planet 8 shirt on with flames on it, and I gelled, and I spiked up my hair with gel. And I was like, hey.

52:45Mike Minogue:No, it's not becoming a thing. That's not a saying at all It's a thing man Nah Yeah we're getting the t-shirts made 100 % Oh god The thing is

52:54Keyzie:The thing is I can picture you Keezy I can picture little Keezy 100 % man You know what I mean I imagine you've always been this height though Bit skinnier you know

53:04Mike Minogue:I was literally just like Scale me down a wee bit Yeah And then put some big skaty shoes on me Yeah Some globes Like a scarecrow Yeah I used to wear those as well Those huge skater shoes DCs I had Ridiculous A clomp around them

53:15Keyzie:Yeah that's right I never did. Hey, Mogey, work, bed, sleep. I'm trying to go for no work because I've got a mate staying with us tonight. Oh, right. You got some new linen? My wife found a couple of extra duvets in the storage. So, yeah, hopefully he gets to bed before the cat gets in there, you know? Yeah, good stuff, mate.

53:35Mike Minogue:I reckon you should have him over and then literally just sit down on the table next time and just start doing some work. Yeah, well, that's not a bad idea. I'll let you know how it goes anyway.

53:44Keyzie:You're having deconstructed lasagna again for a repeat performance, I believe.

53:49Mike Minogue:That's right. We've started doing this new thing where we cook a meal and have it two nights in a row every now and then. It's bloody good the second night because you don't have to do anything. You just heat it up. That's true. It's great. And then going for a walk. Yeah, nice. And then we'll probably watch location, location, location, and then go to bed. Great stuff, man. Jase, what are you doing?

54:06Keyzie:I'm going to go home and get a steaming bowl of Hoity J spicy chicken soup, some fresh baguette, slathered in butter, dipping that bastard in there, watch a bit of telly, and then go Nine Eyes with my beloved. Suck it out. What? Pardon? Hey. Hey, check out the Instagram, check out the podcast. Until tomorrow, see you later. Bye, man.