FULL SHOW: Keyzie Comes To Stay

9:12Mike Minogue:Yeah, tell us what your place is like. Yeah, what have you got? What the accommodation's like. You know, rent, how much that would cost. Yeah. What are you offering? And it could also just be for like a couple of nights a week, and then I'd go to like Jace's for a night. No. Oh. And then I'd go to like Moggy's for a night maybe. Oh. Oh, yeah? Oh. No. No. Okay. But yeah, 3483 every text in the draw for a$50 Reburger voucher.

9:37Keyzie:Yeah, Stone Temple Pilots.

9:41Mike Minogue:The Hauraki Big Show with Jase, Mike and Kesey. Tune in weekdays at four on Radio Hauraki.

9:47Keyzie:Yes, indeed. LMNOP there on the Radio Hauraki Big Show this Tuesday afternoon. The time is 27 minutes past four o 'clock. Kesey's in the process of selling his home. He's looking to buy another one, but there's going to be a dead zone where he needs somewhere to stay. A dead zone. That's the term.

10:05Mike Minogue:Yeah, well, basically, I won't have anywhere to live. That's right. So I thought, hey, the listeners could help out. It is going to be my wife and I, but I thought maybe just for this exercise we'll just leave her out of it. Well, she is part and parcel of the deal, Keezer. You can't leave her out because I'm assuming she's going to be with you, unless the reason why you're selling the house is because she's come to her senses. Is that what's happening here? If it means that I don't have to read out some of these texts, then yeah, yeah, that's it.

10:28Keyzie:Well, I'll tell you what we could do. I mean, if it's just for you, your wife's welcome to stay with us in the meantime until we find you some digs. Thanks, Jase, man.

10:39Mike Minogue:I appreciate it. I'll let her know. I'll let her know. Yeah. Hmm. She does really want to see you wearing those boots in person, so I think she'd be open to staying just to see that. Cool, man. The text on 3483, not super helpful, though. Hi, we've got a beautiful four-bedroom house in Omokoro, but you can't stay with us?

11:02Mike Minogue:Glorious spot in my caravan overlooking the Kota Harbour, 289 at night. I'll tell you, a night. 289 at night. That's good, that's good. I've spent some time in caravans in my life. They're great because in the summer, they're as hot as a bastard. And in the winter, they're freezing cold. Is there ever like a period where it's nice? When you're sort of out and about during the day. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

11:25Keyzie:Having said that, Mookie, I'm a big fan of the, I quite like a bit of caravan action. I like the idea of a caravan, but the reality is something else. I also lived in one in Australia when I first got over there. Right. Hot as a bastard and lots of cockroaches. Oh, yeah.

11:41Mike Minogue:What do you mean, oh, yeah? Good stuff. Still got the old family dog kennel. You wouldn't be much bigger than a Labrador, right? I'd just have to kick out the local cats. All fours? Yeah, I'd probably fit inside it on all fours. Large room with ensuite available. All he has to do is keep putting the lotion on the skin.

11:59Keyzie:Oh, that's in reference to your carpet burn yesterday.

12:02Mike Minogue:Oh, is that what that's in reference to? Okay, good. I didn't understand that. I also don't understand this. Kaipara Harbour, feed the chooks and get a free breakfast. Is it feed your own chooks or feed the chooks? I have no idea, but it sounds like a good deal. You'll find out pretty quick. Feeding chickens is easy. I used to own chickens.

12:17Keyzie:Kaipara Harbour, it's kind of a weird vibe there. Really? Yeah, there's...

12:22Mike Minogue:You live in the city and see people get murdered and stuff every day. Yeah, I know, but it's a weird vibe. This is good. Maybe this could work. From Nick, go on a Tinder date every night and just say that your partner is actually your sister. And then say you've both had too much to drink and you'll have to crash at the girl's place or, yeah, I can't drive home, you know what I mean? Just do that every night. I like that. And bring my sister. That's probably the most straightforward thing that's come through.

12:46Keyzie:Well, and it works in with your lifestyle too. What do you mean? Well, just getting on the hammer every night and, you know what I mean? So it wouldn't be too much of a shift for you. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. This one here, hi, guys, I've got a spare room for Keezy. That's from Cam in Gisborne, though. So that would involve something of a commute. Yeah, that's the other thing, actually. Are you willing to commute? Remember old Mogi when he was on Waiheke Island? I was commuting.

13:11Mike Minogue:You know, there was a bit of commute there. I'll commute from Waiheke, sure. Okay. Is anyone on Waiheke keen to put old Keezy and his partner up for a few months or whatever?

13:18Keyzie:That'd be quite nice, actually.

13:20Mike Minogue:And I'm not saying I want no rent, but I can provide you with backbone shirts. Oh, yeah. Anecdotes from like old Mogey and Hoody J. Like, oh, I could probably get pugs to come around sometimes. Cook a sticky beef. Let's come around and cook a sticky beef. But look, please do keep the invitations coming on 3483. Every text in the drawer for a$50 re-burger voucher. However, at this stage, none of those are probably going to work for me. Okay, well, that's all good.

13:47Keyzie:Got to keep trying, Keezy. Yeah, mate, they'll keep coming.

13:50Mike Minogue:The Hauraki Big Show. Weekdays from four on Radio Hauraki. Let's see who's joining Gerion Manaya on the Export Ultra Grand Final Bear Garden Tour.

14:01Keyzie:Yes, indeed. Hell of a prize. Hell of a prize. Flying over to Sydney, first class accommodation. You get to see the Grand Final. You go on a boat tour. You go to the races a little bit, don't you, fellas? You're off to the races. You're off to the races. Have a bit of a gamble if you want. A bit of a flutter. A bit of a flutter. That's the word I was looking for. Responsibly. Giddy up. Incidentally, I didn't win lotto over the weekend. Outraged. It's bullshit, eh? What's that about? Did you buy a ticket? Yes. What's the point of buying a ticket? Exactly. God. Don't give me your half-ass, oh, you get a free line.

14:39Keyzie:I wish. What?

14:42Mike Minogue:Hey, should we go to the Lions, fellas? Yeah, I think so.

14:45Keyzie:G'day, Nick, you mad bastard. How's life? Nick? Nick. Yeah, hi. Oh, man. Wake up, man. Sorry, fellas. No, that's all good, mate. What do you do for a crust, Nick? Ship farmer. Oh, nice, dude. Nice. Have you ever been a log breaker at a turdster implant? No, not yet. Not yet. It's good to have a dream, though. Yeah, totally, mate. Yeah, yeah. If you won this competition, man, should you win, who would you bring with you?

15:15Mike Minogue:I think I'd get the wife and the best friend to have an arm wrestle. Oh.

15:19Keyzie:Yeah, yeah.

15:20Mike Minogue:When it goes. Who do you think would win that, Nick? It could go either way. Yeah, right, OK.

15:26Keyzie:Yeah, nice. Now, also, Nick, we don't want people that are going to this trip and be good bastards. We want you to totally sabotage it. Do you think you're capable of that?

15:35Mike Minogue:I'm your man. Yeah, OK, good. Good on you, Nick. You're in the draw, all right? Thank you.

15:40Keyzie:Good on you, mate.

15:41Mike Minogue:Good stuff there, mate. All right, lucky dip for the last one there, fellas. Yes, indeed.

15:44Keyzie:Let's go. Oh, OK. I can't. Oh, is that Daniel? Hi, Daniel.

15:49Mike Minogue:G'day, fellas.

15:50Keyzie:How are you going, Daniel? Not bad, yourself? Yeah, good, thanks, mate. What do you do for a cross? Oh, plumbing apprentice. Oh, backbone. You love your rugby league, do you, Daniel? Yeah, mate. Like a bit of a flutter, do you, Daniel?

16:04Mike Minogue:Yeah, just a little bit. Do you like ruining trips for other people, Daniel? Oh, yeah. Yeah, totally. Do you reckon you could surprise G Lane with a clothesline at a bar over there at some point, catch him unawares? Oh, yeah, thank you, mate. Yeah, yeah, yeah. 50 bucks done. All right, Daniel, you hold the line. You're in the draw as well, all right?

16:24Keyzie:Beauty, cheers.

16:25Mike Minogue:Bloody good stuff. Once again, that is Gerry Minaya and ACC head G Lane heading over to Sydney. Five-star accommodation, returns flights, races the day before a harbour cruise and the grand final. Oh, how good. Could the was be there, fellas? That is the big question. It's a hell of a prize.

16:40Keyzie:It's all-timer. Tell you what, let's hope the boys get there. I'm feeling good about them. I'm feeling real good. It's the most transparent chat you could ever hear, isn't it? He wants them to lose. It's shocking. Just play the tapes, fellas. No one bleeds the wahs like Hoardy J. That sentence doesn't make any sense. I'll tell you what does make sense. Guns. Mmm, roses.

17:04Mike Minogue:The Hauraki Big Show. Weekdays from four on Radio Hauraki.

17:08Keyzie:Yes, indeed, David Bowie there on the Radio Hauraki Big Show this Tuesday afternoon. The time is 4.51. Let's talk TV. What's on the telly with Mike Minogue. Yeah, that's right. Fellas, I finished off the quite magnificent series Widow's Bay on Apple TV. It's a horror comedy, 10 episodes, half-hour episodes, based on a small island called Widow's Bay in New England, which is cursed, and there's all sorts of different problems that the town is facing, and the local mayor is trying to drive tourism to the island while completely ignoring the fact that people are dying left, right, and centre in pretty horrific ways.

18:00Yes. A quite brilliantly written and acted show. Normally it takes programs like that, or any program, a while to find its feet. It's hilarious. It's also scary. Sort of, weirdly, it's got diminished. It sort of has a, at the start for the first five or six episodes, it runs as sort of a monster of the week sort of set-up. Right. where you've got something from the history of the islanders coming back and terrorising the island again, and you deal with that week on week while also dealing with why this is all happening. But that sort of peters out towards the end, and it's more about the story of why it's happening.

18:35The last episode isn't great, which is a bastard. No, bugger. It's annoying. But overall, it's a brilliant series. I give it 4.4 buzies out of a possible five. Easily my favourite show of the year. and that is Widow's Bay on Apple TV. And that's your favourite show of the year. Of the year. Wow, okay, yeah, nice. I've got all my scores from the whole year and I'm looking back at them. There's not too many that I rate. Yeah, you obviously haven't seen... This is very, very good.

19:02Mike Minogue:You obviously haven't seen Game of Two Halves then. Oh, I've... You know the one that I host? Oh, yes. Yeah, yeah. Yes, yes. What's the storyline of that? You have seen it? No, it's pretty much just what you described, to be honest.

19:12Keyzie:Yeah, it is a horror.

19:14Mike Minogue:It's a horror show of sorts, isn't it?

19:15Keyzie:Yeah, yeah, for sure. Now, fellas, I had talked about the show previously. Half Man. A very confronting drama. It's the baby reindeer guy. Yeah, the reindeer guy. The baby reindeer guy. The baby reindeer guy. And I was enjoying it, but as is so often the case, it's happened. It's gone off the rails a little bit. Now, there's been a sort of turn in the story. It's about sort of two brothers who aren't actually brothers, but they sort of were brought up together, and their mothers were lovers, as it turns out. And the whole sort of premise of the story is that one of them is a real bad bastard. He's a rat bag, isn't he?

19:56Keyzie:He's a shocking piece of work. But the story sort of evolved a little bit, and it sort of jumps back in time and then is current time, and you start to see that the person I thought was the POS here isn't actually the POS. It's the other one. It's maybe the other guy. Is this a huge spoiler?

20:18Mike Minogue:Once again, I feel like I have to answer.

20:19Keyzie:It's not necessarily because it's not resolved yet, but this is what's upset me about it. The main character, his performance has gone off the rails. Oh, like his acting performance. His acting performance. Is this Jamie Bell or the other fella? Jamie Bell, is he the reindeer guy? No. Oh, the other fella. Jamie Bell was the young fella in the ballet movie there. fellas. Oh, Elliot. Elliot. Yeah, Billy Elliot. Billy Elliot. I can't remember the other guy's name. It's all feeling a bit performance-y now. And it's like he's trying to, you know, win a performance with the most gritty... Richard Gad?

20:56Keyzie:Yes, Gad. That's the one. Sometimes you can see people, you can see that they're thinking about the fact that the camera's on them. You know that sort of, you get that look in the eye? Yes, absolutely. And I'm not buying his performance anymore. And interestingly, I said to my wife, I'm not buying his performance anymore. And she went, No, neither am I. And then what did you say? And I said, well, spot on, hoity J. And then did she respond? She said, can you stop talking to yourself? What were you saying, man? Jamie Bell's very good, though, as an actor, as a rule. He is. He's pretty solid throughout, to be fair.

21:29Keyzie:But, yeah, it's just feeling a bit all over the top, a bit drama school, and I've kind of lost interest in it because of that. Half, man. Yeah, because once you sort of see that, it's hard to go back. Yeah, yeah, yeah. You know what I'm saying? so I might just ditch it after five episodes.

21:45Mike Minogue:I wonder if that's the sort of thing I would notice, because I'm not an actor. Like, if I would notice that it's become too performative. Yes. I don't think I would. But you can sense it. You're right, okay. You know it.

21:54Keyzie:I don't know this. He's overplaying his hand, Keezy. Ah.

21:59Mike Minogue:Yeah. Sort of like I just did just there. Yeah, yeah. Yeah, okay. Hey, coming up after five, your chance to get in the, no, we've already done that, haven't we, in the draw for the old NRL grand final thing. Backbone. Backbone. Don't just yell backbone. Da-do. Hey, coming up, though, after 5 o 'clock,

22:15Keyzie:we're exhausted during the show. So we've got a proposal for the audience, and we need your help. Yeah, yeah.

22:20Mike Minogue:We want to cut down on our time. The Hauraki Big Show with Jace, Mike and Keezy. Tune in weekdays at 4 on Radio Hauraki.

22:30Keyzie:Welcome back, you massive backbones. Hope you're getting through your Tuesday okay. You are listening to The Big Show, brought to you by Reburg Gear.

22:37Mike Minogue:Crave-worthy street food, freshly made with Reburg Gear.

22:46Keyzie:I'm gutted, fellas. What's wrong, Jase? I was really hungry, so I just popped across to the sushi store, half price, by the way. Oh, yeah? And I didn't have my glasses on, and I bought a little four-pack of sushi, thinking it was chicken. It's tofu. Oh, no. It's tofu sushi. How's it tasting? Like nothing. Tastes like nothing. Does it actually taste like nothing?

23:12Mike Minogue:Yes. Because I feel like tofu is one of those things you just say is bad because you're trying to be like old. Mr. Meat Eater.

23:18Keyzie:Look, when I go to my little restaurant now and I get my hot pot, I'll have a bit of deep fried tofu in my dish. Quite a lot of it, actually. That's foul.

23:30Mike Minogue:Right, okay.

23:31Keyzie:But it doesn't taste like anything you just said. That's what I mean. It tastes like rice and tofu. And tofu doesn't taste of anything. and neither does rice, and so it's foul. There's no flavour dynamic whatsoever.

23:45Mike Minogue:And it was the glasses, right?

23:47Keyzie:Not wearing the glasses. Yeah, I wasn't wearing glasses, and that looked like chicken to me.

23:51Mike Minogue:Which is why yesterday you bought tofu-coloured boots by accident because you weren't wearing your glasses. Yeah, that's right. Oh, and they're foul. Yeah, and they're tasteless. Fellas, now listen. I love those boots. No, you don't.

24:05Keyzie:And that's all good, man. And I am going to keep wearing them.

24:08Mike Minogue:Admit that you're a bit disheartened about the whole thing and you're probably going to phase them out.

24:12Keyzie:Well, you know, the vote yesterday, I think it was 48-52. Yeah. And I've had, and it's more, I've got to say, the female side of things say they look great. That's because they're women's boots. Yeah, but not because they're women's boots. They're literally women's boots. Because they see that I've gone out on a limb. Oh, you absolutely have. And all I can hear is the creaking of the breaking branch. Just admit that you're phasing them out Nah, I'm going to wear them tomorrow I reckon they're phased out And I think we should talk about this more Obviously for the rest of our lives But let's start with tomorrow And just think about how long it's going to take Before there's a completely out of the rotation Kesey

24:51Mike Minogue:Yeah, because I reckon if we hadn't brought it up right now That'd be done That'd be all over But now he's going to wear them tomorrow Now he's going to be forced to wear them

24:58Keyzie:It was always my plan to wear them On alternate days Jase Yes You're my hero, man Thanks, man Hey Here's the Foo Fighters. I'm going to get stuck into my tofu sushi. Yum.

25:10Mike Minogue:The Hauraki Big Show with Jace, Mike and Keezy. Tune in weekdays at four on Radio Hauraki.

25:17Keyzie:Yes, indeed. The Minchicks there on the Radio Hauraki Big Show this Tuesday evening. 13 minutes past five. Fellas, we work like absolute dogs around here, don't we? Totally, man. Every single day, up to three and a half hours a day. Five days a week, man. It's crazy. We work hard for the money. I don't know why we do it, to be frank. And it's coming up on five years now, and I am absolutely routed. Yeah. Buggered. Yeah. So I've come up with this idea, and I want to get your thoughts on it here. And that is, what I want to do is get some stunt doubles for the Horeki Big Show. Yes. Stunt double Hoidi J, stunt double Keezy, stunt double Mogey.

25:56We'll talk about Pugsana another day.

25:58Mike Minogue:So stunt doubles, so obviously in the movies, if someone's jumping out of an airplane or doing something cool, Yes. That's where the cuts to the stunt double do. Well, something cool you'd say, but also something risky and something that the stars, in this case us, don't want to do. Right. So maybe it's not so much stunts, it's just things I don't want to do. Doubles.

26:19Keyzie:Often, you know, and it might not necessarily be stunt doubles, but they do sometimes do this. They just stand in for you. Stand in. You know what I mean? That kind of thing. Jase, I think that's what it is. It's the big show, Stand in. Stand in. And that is like, for example, when you be on set doing a scene, Keezy, you have a stand-in will come in and that allows the camera department to pull focus, the lighting to be set up, all of those things, and then the stars, us, come in later and then shoot the scene. So the stand-in's just literally standing on the spot,

26:50Mike Minogue:you'll be standing. Literally. Looking similar to you. Exactly right. And meanwhile, you're in your caravan doing nothing. That's right.

26:57Keyzie:Sometimes, Mogi, when you're filming, They even have the stand-ins in the scene, but they're shooting from behind them. That's right. They just look like you, but you're actually in your caravan quaffing a few glasses of wine. Or just, you know, sort of scrolling through your phone. Yeah. So the idea is that we need you, the listeners, everybody out there, to send in photos to our Instagram page, the Horeki Big Show, or there's probably an option on Facebook as well, but let's go Instagram, of either yourself or a mate of yours that looks exactly the same as Hoere J, as Old Mogi, and as Keezy.

27:32Mike Minogue:Yeah. Okay? The hottest dudes you know, obviously. And we are going to spend the coming days and weeks going through those, trawling through those until we have finally got the Haureki Big Show stand-ins, and those guys are going to go out and do the things that we don't want to do. Yeah. Like, for example, staying on a Friday past 5 o 'clock. We'll do the throbber. We leave. The stand-ins come in. Yeah, totally. Yeah, I'll be keen for that. There's a lot of meetings you have to do around content and with our bosses about certain things. Yeah, certainly want to stand in for the meetings. I mean, that is gruelling, gruelling stuff.

28:04So our standings, we'll come in and deal with that as well.

28:07Keyzie:Often, you know, too, people want us to make videos for them. Yes. You know, for their mates and stuff. See, I don't mind doing that. Yeah, for their birthdays and that. Yeah, yeah.

28:15Mike Minogue:Well, I can keep doing it and we can get maybe two of the standings to come in. Absolutely. Yeah, yeah.

28:19Keyzie:What we'll have to do, too, once we find the standings, fellas, obviously they need to dress like us as well. So I'll need to bring in my boots. Yeah, yeah. You need to put the spare boots on them. Yeah. But there's huge prize money in place for this as well, and we're not going to get too much in depth about the prizes at the moment. But starting now, we want you to send in the photos, any images, even videos. Man, if you can send in a video. Even better. And you can do a Hoare J voice or a Keezy voice. Yeah. Flick them through. And then we're going to get a whole list of finalists, and eventually there'll be a vote on each position.

28:52And then we'll get the Horeki Big Show stand and team assembled. Yeah, nice. Like the Avengers, only shit-ass.

28:58Mike Minogue:Yeah, only weird-looking, with, like, big honkers and that, I guess. Why? Hauraki Big Show on Instagram, send them through. And did you say there's a cash prize? Oh, yeah. We're talking... Yeah, we'll sort that, because it sounds like the sort of thing you've literally just made up now. What? The Hauraki Big Show, weekdays from four on Radio Hauraki.

29:18Keyzie:Yes, indeed. Temple of the Dog on the Radio Hauraki Big Show this Tuesday evening. The time is 5.24. And, fellas, if I might be so bold, I'd like to call a show meeting. Show meeting! Show meeting! Show me the meeting. Show meeting is now in progress. We've got Pugson in here too. How are you, Pugs? Pugson. Good evening, fellas. Thanks for having me. You're welcome. How's it going? Yeah, good, thank you. Good, thanks, Pugs. Pugs? Mogi was just chatting about, and he's bloody right, we're worn to the bone on this show, and so we're looking for stand-ins. But also another thing that I've seen take effect over the last week or two is about mid-show we all get starving.

30:09Keyzie:I don't. We are starving. It doesn't affect me at all. We are so hungry. I'm actually all good. Some chips would be good, fellas. and now I've been foiled by the ACC. They've set up a little system that's foiled my thieving.

30:27Mike Minogue:What are they doing? Because for reference, if you don't know, every day Jay's used to walk in and steal a bag of chips out of their prize chips that are to give away to the listeners. What have they done to foil that? Shocking.

30:37Keyzie:Well, what they've done is all the boxes in there are unopened apart from one box that only has one bag of chips in it. So it would be very, very obvious were I to steal that. I think G-Lane's actually poisoned it as well. Yeah, I have considered that. But, fellas, because I know how starving we all get. I'm so full. I'm all good. I'm actually fine from lunch. I mean, you guys just like banging on all the time like, oh, God, bloody chips or crackers or whatever would be good. Shapes. That'll be good. And I had a revelation when I was sitting on my couch at home today. Why don't we start up a big show kitty?

31:16Keyzie:Right? A kitty. Kitty. A kitty cat. And we all contribute$20 a week to the kitty. So$80. $80. And then every day, Hoity J on his way to work pops into the supermarket. Really? Every day you would do this? I would. Goes in, buys a couple of bags of chippies, some sweet treats, and brings them into the office and the fellas are tickety-boo for the rest of the show.

31:46Mike Minogue:I think that's too much money. It's five days we do this, two bags of chips per day. And sweet treats? I don't want sweet treats. Are we going to entrust the guy that has a cracker and a tomato every day? No, I don't trust Jase with anything. The other thing too, what I actually think, we need about$50 a week,$10 a day, two packs of chips. That's all you need. What percentage of this were you going to keep as given that you're the guy that's going to do the shopping. I'm assuming you weren't offering that service for free.

32:14Keyzie:Oh, look, I wouldn't charge anything. It would just be my joy knowing that the fellas who get so hungry during the show would have snacks available to them. And I don't know. I mean, fellas,$20 a week. I mean, and anything left over, you know, just rolls into the next week. And so we could have a scenario by the end of the year where we have like bonus Big Show money and I'll take the fellas out to a restaurant for a meal. Perfect. Why is it your money all of a sudden? You're not taking us out. I'm just saying, we put it into my account and I'll have a Big Show fun account. Right. And you put in 20 bucks each week and I'll buy us treats every day.

33:01Keyzie:Any remaining money goes into the next week. Can I ask you if you'll be putting 20 bucks in as well? Bloody off I will. Right. Okay. Absolutely. I think probably what the fairer way to do it is the way that makes more sense and just would help me sleep a little bit better at night would just be to have a jar here that we keep in the office. That Pugsone keeps it on. It's got a lockable drawer out there that we can put the cash in there. We just take the cash out, pop down here, depending on what we're feeling like. Because otherwise, Jase, you'll be coming in every day buying stuff. You don't even know what the boys feel like.

33:29Keyzie:Well, there is that. But, you know, there'll be a range of merchandise. No, you're going to use our money to buy darts.

33:36Mike Minogue:I've been bought darts in the long time. You're going to buy vapes in like a bag of Twister. Fellas! The Hauraki Big Show. Weekdays from four on Radio Hauraki.

33:47Keyzie:Green day there on the Radio Hauraki Big Show. This Tuesday evening, the time is 5.36. And fellas, before we get into our next little piece here, don't totally dismiss the idea of the snack pot. I've already forgotten about it.

34:05Mike Minogue:What do you mean by that? Are you working on something?

34:07Keyzie:No, I just think we should consider it. I think it's a great idea.

34:10Mike Minogue:We will. We will. Fellas, over the weekend I had a bit of a disagreement with my wife. And obviously, to reassure everyone, the relationship's great. But every now and then you do have a disagreement. And the disagreement was about who was driving. Obviously, over the weekend I was down in Christchurch. The Saturday night there we were going out for tea with her high school friends and all their plus ones. Oh, yeah. And the Sunday night we were at the Waz there. It was a big day. Up the Waz. That's right, Bogie, up the Waz. So the agreement was struck. Saturday night, Keezy White, well, Chris, why don't you drive Saturday night?

34:48Mike Minogue:So she'll have a few cocktails with her friends. And then on Sunday, she'll drive. And I was like, that's a good idea. You know, because the Waz is like sort of my cup of tea, you know. She doesn't get it, eh? No, she definitely gets it. the was I mean and what ended up happening was on the Saturday we met some friends at an escape room do you know escape rooms yeah I've heard about those so it was quite fun did a bit of an escape room there and I went up to the bar and I was like tell you what I'll get us a first round of drinks what would you like to drink she's like can I get a diet coke and I was like yeah okay I'm gonna get a pint and the other bloke I was like he got a pint as well back bone yeah he was back bone We were getting on like a house on fire.

35:29Mike Minogue:We were having good chats and stuff. And then all of a sudden he's like, hey, do you want me to get you a pint as well? Yeah. You know, pay back or whatever. And I was like, yeah, sure, get me a pint. I was like, Luce, do you want anything? And she was just like, oh, no, I've still got my Coke. I was like, okay. And then after that we went out for dinner and it was just me and one bloke while six women all caught up. It was great. Another Coke, another Diet Coke. And I was just like, hey, are you going to get steamed or what's the deal? And basically we had a disagreement because I was a bit annoyed.

36:02Mike Minogue:We're not annoyed. I was just like, hey, you've got a sober driver. Why don't you have a couple of cocktails and that? It was like, oh, no, because she's actually not drinking and then blah, blah, blah is actually leaving early. I was like, so no one's drinking. Yeah. You know what I mean? And then one thing led to another and then I got steamed. So I was just like, it was just how do you guys feel about if you've got a sober driver and the other person responsibly isn't sort of fully utilising it like you would have? Yeah. Yeah, I mean, I think if you're going to be a sober driver, then the other person has got a response.

36:30There's two sets of responsibilities here. One is that you remain sober so that you can sober drive, and the responsibility for the other person is they get hammered so that they can't drive. Well, exactly. Otherwise, what's the point? At least I can look over and go,

36:42Mike Minogue:oh, it's all good she's hammered. Well, that's right. You feel like you're providing a service, but if she's sober and you stay sober and then you end up driving someone home who's sober, why do we even leave the house?

36:52Keyzie:So can I just clarify here? You're pissed off. No, I'm not pissed off. You had a bit of a disagreement. You were filthy about it. I'm not filthy. You've been banging on about it off air for about two days. Two days. You're filthy that your wife decided not to drink so you could get steam drinking sangria, I believe it was, and cocktails.

37:20Mike Minogue:No, it was like, hey, I will drive. Yes, sweet as. And then she just didn't have any drinks whatsoever. So I was like, what are we doing here? Yeah. And so you got steamed, yes?

37:28Keyzie:Well, yeah. And then can I ask, did you get steamed the next night when she was the sober driver? Well, yeah, because it was the Warriors. So you got steamed for two nights in a row. Yeah. And you're furious at her for letting you get steamed two nights in a row. Yeah, what's that about? Well, surely the issue was not that you got the opportunity to get steamed, but that you had to chase it up and that she wasn't taking responsibilities on. She should know not to order her a Diet Coke. Yeah. She should be straight into pints, cocktails, sangrias. 100%. I don't know, man. I think you've got to divorce her.

38:04You reckon? Yeah. I think she should divorce you. You reckon?

38:08Mike Minogue:Yeah. Cool, okay. Well, either way, it's the same result, isn't it? Is she single now? Huh? No. She's not. Mogi, who also has a wife. You weirdo. White Stripes? What about them? Well, they're pla... Ah, forget it. The Hauraki Big Show. Weekdays from four on Radio Hauraki.

38:32Keyzie:Yes, indeed. Skid Row there on the Radio Hauraki Big Show this Tuesday evening. The time is 5.49.

38:39Mike Minogue:Fellas, this coming Thursday. It's June 25th. And on that very day, Hauraki's going to be live from the Sky Tower, broadcasting all day, raising funds for bowel cancer New Zealand. You can donate by texting Lou to 3483 because it's Hodaki's Day in Lou. Yes. That's just a small part of it. The main part of it, though, is the fact that Jase has offered to walk up every single stairwell inside the Sky Tower. He's doing it to raise funds and awareness for bowel cancer New Zealand, which is massive. People want to know on 3483, will you be wearing the new boots?

39:12Keyzie:First and foremost, Gizzi. That's inaccurate. What part? Which part? Every stairwell. I'm not going to walk up every stairwell. Just the 51 storeys. The main stairwell. As I've stated clearly, fellas, there's a number of the floors, I think from 7 to 42 are under maintenance. I looked into that today. Apparently it was finished ahead of schedule, so we're all clear. What were they doing? So you're all good, man.

39:42Mike Minogue:What were they doing to the stairs that made them completely out of operation? Because that's like a fire risk.

39:47Keyzie:Yeah, a fire hazard, yeah. Yeah, yeah, because they were very slippery with the wet weather we've been having. But you'll be good as gold with the grip you've got on those new boots of yours. I won't be wearing those boots if I did it. Why not? Probably my slip-ons.

40:01Mike Minogue:You're going to wear your slip-on sketches.

40:02Keyzie:My sketches.

40:03Mike Minogue:Well, I like that you've chosen the footwear for it now. Yeah, that's good. Like he's locked it in. He's doing it. He's just figuring out what he's going to wear. It's not happening for us. Come on, it's a charity, Jase. it is a day in Lou bloody excited I'm personally stoked it's not me who's doing that run up the sky tower but what we want from you the audience is to text Lou to 3483 that is L-O-O to 3483 we'll hit you back with a secure donation link dayinlou.co.nz for the online symptom checker bowel cancer is one of those ones where if you catch the symptoms early it's very very treatable

40:34Keyzie:yeah it's going to be a great day fellas because we've got some amazing guests coming in too we do so it's going to be I want to be popping in throughout the day as most of the fellas, actually most of the team. So it's going to be a real team affair.

40:49Mike Minogue:How did you want to play the walking part? Did you want to have a headset on so he can contact you or you can have pugs with you or something with a phone?

40:57Keyzie:That's a great idea. I'll have a headset and you guys can talk to me while I'm doing it. While you're climbing the stairs. That's good radio, man. Yeah, cool.

41:07Mike Minogue:That's really good. Sounds good. Remember, it's all for charity, Jase. That's all I'll say, all right? Don't need to tell me that, Keezy. That's Lou to 3483. Secure donation link. Day in Lou this very Thursday live from up the top of the Sky Tower.

41:20Keyzie:In the meantime, here's the Kaiser Chiefs.

41:24Mike Minogue:The Hauraki Big Show with Jace, Mike and Keezy. Tune in weekdays at 4 on Radio Hauraki.

41:30Keyzie:Yes, indeed, it is Keezy. It is Mogey. It is Hoagy J. And this is The Big Show brought to you by Reburger.

41:39Mike Minogue:Handcrafted burgers, loaded fries and gourmet eats that will change the game. Reburger. Reburger. Yeah, Reburger.

41:48Keyzie:Hey, we're about to go into what's on the dinner with me, Kesey. Speaking of which, Mogey, what are you having tonight? I'm not too sure, actually. My wife is going out for dinner with a friend of hers. Oh, yeah. Can I also say a male friend of hers? Oh, yeah. And can I also say that they're going to... I'm going to say the name of the company because it's not the same in any way as Reburger. Nando's. Oh.

42:17Mike Minogue:Random. That's a fancy night out, isn't it, fellas? So I don't know what I'm... Actually, first dinner date I ever took my wife on was to Nando's. Yeah. Nando's on Rickerton Road in Christchurch. There you go. I was very poor at the time. Jeez, that's shocking from you. It was, yeah. But here you are now. Look at us go. On the verge of divorce. Yeah.

42:33Keyzie:Yeah, nice. It's been good. Kesey, what are you having? Hang on. Oh, sorry, you haven't? No. I don't know what I'm having. Oh. Oh. What am I having? Yeah, what are you having? How was your Persian lamb last night? I was really disappointed with the idea of that.

42:47Mike Minogue:Did you have that with couscous? I didn't have couscous. It had like pumpkin and carrot and stuff. No. But the lamb itself was really tasteless.

42:54Keyzie:Oh, yeah.

42:54Mike Minogue:That's the second time I've had tasteless lamb from this particular food delivery service. And I've said that to my wife. I was like, look, they've got bad lamb. Did you try putting some salt on it? Oh, I put heaps of salt on it. No difference, fellas. Nice. What about you, Jase? Tonight. Hang on, I haven't.

43:09Keyzie:Oh, you haven't finished? I don't know what I'm having. Tonight, fellas, I'm having a weird one. By the way, my family mince pie and mash and broccolini last night, bloody good. Yum. Bring the house down. Really good.

43:24Mike Minogue:Did you have sauce with it? Yeah, totes, of course. What kind of sauce did you have? Yeah, tamati sauce. Oh, yeah, good. Yeah, cool.

43:28Keyzie:I chopped a few fresh chilies on there, too. Tonight we're having truffle macaroni cheese. Oh, yeah? Yum. I've never had that. Is that from your favourite? Yeah, I wear that a fair amount. It's a relatively overpowering taste. I was going to say, I don't think I've ever really eaten truffle. Have you not? No, with some air fried bacon, some micro greens and a little tomato salad.

43:57Mike Minogue:I love truffle, by the way. Truffle is amazing. It's bloody expensive.

44:01Keyzie:Is it a mushroom? You've had truffle oil, though. We've often spoken about how overpowering the taste is. It takes over everything. Right, okay. You reckon, yeah. Oh, I'll give you a report tomorrow. Yeah, I find you're overpowering tomorrow.

44:14Mike Minogue:Yeah, yeah, yeah. And so the way truffle works, isn't it, like it grows on certain roots of certain trees? It does, yeah. Pigs, you have truffle pigs that'll find them. So they are a kind of a poor scene. And they're worth a bundle of cash. A fair amount of cash, yeah.

44:28Keyzie:Might get into a bit of truffling.

44:31Mike Minogue:Apparently we spoke to my mother-in-law Who's a very good gardener We were like you should plant truffles And she was like I'll be long dead before they even come to fruition I think they take ages

44:41Keyzie:Tell you what You'd be able to sniff a few truffles out without on

44:45Mike Minogue:Jase You lost You lost the nose competition Alright you have the biggest nose He's done you there Yeah fair enough Queens of the Stone Age Yeah why not The Hauraki Big Show, weekdays from four on Radio Hauraki.

45:04Keyzie:Yes, indeed, She-Hard there on the Radio Hauraki Big Show this Tuesday evening. The time is 6.13, which means it's time for...

45:11Mike Minogue:Oh, yeah, hey, guys. Text here from Steve. What's for D? T. Yeah, what's for D? Yeah, yeah, what's for D, yeah. I keep forgetting that that's what it's called. Well, it's not. It's called What's for T, New Zealand. What's for D? What's on the dinner, and now it's just what's for D. Yeah, yeah, what's for D. Basically, you text her on 3483 what you're having for dinner. We read them out, and then we dish out a couple of$50 Reburger vouchers. Yeah. Just going to the old line here, fellas. G'day there. Jared here. Jared. Moskowitz. Wairia Hargraves. It's Jared Wairia Hargraves. The Roosters. Just from Paparoa, I'm having steak, eggs, and chips for tea after welding all day long.

45:53Mike Minogue:Nah. What?

45:55Keyzie:Just, I just. You can't abide the egg. Is that right? And I can't abide. Steak, chips and egg, nah. It's just not my thing.

46:04Mike Minogue:You know that it's like a real classic New Zealand meal.

46:07Keyzie:I do, but maybe grate a little bit of truffle on there, perhaps.

46:11Mike Minogue:Okay. What do you think of that, Moggy? I don't really like an egg with a steak. Right. But the chip makes sense because it's potatoes. Yeah. So I'm happy with that. We'll just have mash then. Well, I like a steak and I like a chip. I'd have it with like a porterhouse or a rump or something like that. Right. You know? Okay.

46:30Keyzie:Something like that. Yeah, okay. Something like that. And Jase, your auntie. Having said that, I'm not a fan of steak really ever. Right, okay. Okay, so. What if instead of frying the egg, they like scrambled it?

46:41Mike Minogue:What about if they put it in an air fryer? Because you love that. You love air frying everything. Yes. I love how you just tapped out of that yarn. G'day, fellas. Cam here. Cam Roygaard. Oh. Nah, it's not. Is it Cam-a-lam-a-ding-dong? It's Cam-a-lam-a-ding-dong. Oh. G'day, guys. Cameloma Ding Dong here from Waiuku. Ah. Thai noodle soup with some sneaky little shrimpies in there.

47:06Keyzie:I love a sneaky shrimp. Yes, I love a shrimp and I love a Thai soup with noodles.

47:12Mike Minogue:Is it a car? What have we got? A car. Yeah, what kind of soup does it say? I'm not sure. It doesn't say, actually. Maybe a Tom Yum. Is that Thai? Yeah, we don't know. Yeah, Tom Yum. Yes. Tom Car. Ah, okay.

47:24Keyzie:Bloody good. Any kind of Thai soup, I'm in. Any kind whatsoever. Well, apart from if it had, like, steak and chips and an egg in it. Okay.

47:33Mike Minogue:Okay, good. Good to know.

47:35Keyzie:I'll tell you what is a really good trick. Oh, yeah. With the old Thai soups, just grate a bit of truffle in there. You know, another good trick is when you go pick a card, any card, and then they pick the card, and then you guess what it is. That's a good trick.

47:48Mike Minogue:Actually, Camelabba Ding Dong just takes through. He's going to chuck an egg in there as well, maybe. Backbone. Maybe like a hard-boiled one?

47:55Keyzie:No, what you do is you crack a raw egg in there and you just whip it around and it gets little strings in it. It does. It does.

48:03Mike Minogue:I like that in the bibimbap. Do you know about a bibimbap? Yes. Korean. Very yum. And it makes the rice go hard and crunchy. G'day, fellas. Russell here. Crow. Grand. Coots. It's Russell Coots. It's definitely Russell Coots. Stuck on the motorway, They said dinner is belly button lint and an old lifesaver from the 80s I found in the glove box. Yum. Yeah, good. Gross.

48:29Keyzie:There's nothing worse than being stuck in traffic when you're starving. Yeah. It's really annoying. There's literally nothing worse. There is nothing worse, apart from maybe steak, eggs and chips. G'day there. Feelers Gareth here. Gareth Edwards. Huh? Who? Far.

48:45Mike Minogue:Gareth Farr. Gareth Farr. Yes. Who's that? An actor? No, he was a businessman, I think. Right, okay, that's random. Just a random businessman. He's just a guy that does business around the place. It's Gareth Evans. Did you say that? Yeah. Yeah, yeah. I'm having pork chops, chips, and eggs. I hate pork chops. But what about the chips and the eggs? I'd eat the chips and the eggs. Who wouldn't?

49:10Keyzie:I don't mind a pork chop with a good apple sauce. You can have my pork chop. I'll have your pork chop. Can I have your chips and your eggs? Yes. What are you having? I'm having a pork chop with apple sauce. And my pork chop.

49:22Mike Minogue:And you're going to grate some truffle on it? Oh, gross, Keezy. One more, fellas, one more. G'day, fellas. Hi. Hamish here. Oh, Hamish Carter. Hamish and Andy. Hey, Missionary's good, eh? It's Hey, Missionary's good, eh? G'day, guys. Hey, Missionary's good, eh? Here for dinner tonight, a ham steak, chips and eggs.

49:46Keyzie:Well, how do you guys feel about ham steaks? I haven't had one in like a billion years. Neither have I with the old pineapple ring on it. Gross.

49:55Mike Minogue:Hate them. So good. So good. Keep those texts coming. We're probably not going to read them. The Hauraki Big Show with Jase, Mike and Keezy. Tune in weekdays at four on Radio Hauraki.

50:07Keyzie:Puddle of mud there on the Radio Hauraki Big Show this Tuesday evening at 6.27 and it's Teamless Tuesday. Time to chat footy with me, Keezy.

50:19Mike Minogue:What are the Warriors up to? Woo! Yeah! The Warriors, Jase, are playing the Dolphins.

50:26Keyzie:Okay, where are the Dolphins at the moment on the table?

50:28Mike Minogue:In Brisbane? Oh, third.

50:31Keyzie:Oh, okay, so they're right up there. Just two points behind the New Zealand Warriors who sit in second. And weirdly, on exactly the same amount of points for, I think 412 or 414. Wow.

50:43Mike Minogue:That's weird, isn't it, fellas? So this is a real swing of a game.

50:46Keyzie:Yes, and has that surprised people that the Dolphins are doing so well?

50:52Mike Minogue:Yes, it has surprised me because early doors, they were a bit sloppy. A lot of errors ruining what looked amazing. They've got amazing attack. They've got some really talented players. They've got a complete team as well. They do. And they've just come right, and they're so well coached, and it's paying dividends at the back end of the season. They are a good-looking side.

51:11Keyzie:And is their coach still the guy that used to coach the Broncos?

51:14Mike Minogue:No. No, that was a couple of years ago. Wayne Bennett, you're thinking of.

51:18Keyzie:Yeah, Wayne Bennett, that's the one.

51:19Mike Minogue:But the huge news, Mo, is that Jackson Ford, who was, as far as we're aware, still leading the Dalium leaderboard. He played nigh on almost between 70 and 80 minutes every single game for the Warriors in the front row. Absolute workhorse. He injured his peck at the weekend down in Christchurch, and he is now out 10 to 12 weeks. They're hoping he's going to be back for the finals. He might be back slightly earlier than that. But, yeah, estimate is 10 to 12 weeks. Huge. That is huge. On the bright side, it means that our forwards are now. Stalard Smith starts with Wade Egan, Barnett, Laban, Capewell and Clark.

51:53Mike Minogue:Still a hell of a forward pack there, fellas. It is a hell of a forward pack. However, I think we're still one injury away to a starting player in the forward pack, away from it starting to be a bit of a worry situation. Oh, man. We're continuing to get injuries, aren't we, in here? Yeah, it sucks. Yeah, I mean, yeah. Hope for the best. And look, plan for the worst, fellas. That's all I can say. Yes. The other point of interest in this side, which is largely unchanged from last week, is that Lukey Met, baby, for the first time, is back in the 19 and is likely to come off the bench in this game, which is on satellite 5 p.m.

52:32coming out of our second home ground, you'd have to say, Kesey, Suncourt Stadium.

52:37Mike Minogue:A hundred percent. It's not the Dolphins' true home either. It's actually the Broncos' home. So it will be a good turnout for the WARS fans there. I really, this is going to be an excellent game. It's at an excellent time, 5 p.m. on a Saturday. Australian time? New Zealand time. 3 p.m. in Aussie. Go to your local tavern or whatever and get a seat. It's going to be an absolute rip snorter. They can tear us apart. We're going to have to be very, very well drilled in defence because they're really one of the best, aren't they? Two of the best centres in the game. Also, DWZ's 100th appearance for the Warriors, fellas.

53:11So it's something to celebrate. Chase, with any luck, mate, you'll be seeing him doing a whole bunch of one-handed dives into the corner to score some tries. And I know how much you love that, brother.

53:20Mike Minogue:Why do you hate that? It's just such a boomer thing to hate.

53:23Keyzie:I don't hate it. It's just when it's completely unnecessary. It's always necessary. It's like they've got it in their head now. They practice it. It's to go, OK, there's the corner. I'm going to score in the corner. I'll just dive outside and in the air and pluck it down so it looks ridiculous. No, so it's hard. Just slide in there and score the try.

53:44Mike Minogue:Do you like the Smashing Pumpkins? Who doesn't?

53:46Keyzie:Who agrees with me out there about that? 3483. You're on the wrong station, mate. It's a bloody disgrace.

53:51Mike Minogue:You want talkback is what you want.

53:54Keyzie:Here's Smashing Pumpkins.

53:56Mike Minogue:The Hauraki Big Show. Weekdays from four on Radio Hauraki.

54:12Keyzie:Come on, Casey.

54:20Keyzie:Hey. What? Listen, if you don't know this already, before the fellas actually start the live radio show, we do a podcast before that, don't we, fellas? Do we? The podcast outro clip. It's like a warm up, eh, James?

54:35Mike Minogue:Yeah, it's like a warm up. It's like a warm up for the show.

54:37Keyzie:What's the clip today, Keezy?

54:39Mike Minogue:Bonus content, which comes out at 7.30. Search Hodaki Big Show where you get your podcast from. This is called Standy. To be honest. It sounds like you've done it.

54:49Keyzie:I've never been a vigorous m****. Oh, you always take it easy on yourself, too. Yeah, I do. You're telling me that you're constantly putting yourself into the d*** style, you m****. That that's your standard.

55:03Mike Minogue:Wow, that was 18 seconds of pure filth.

55:06Keyzie:Just to clarify, on this particular podcast, there's a disclaimer. So don't play it around the kids. I forgot about the disclaimer, yeah. Well earned, well earned, hard earned. Hard earned. And as usual, it was Mogi. It was Mogi's fault. Mogi, what's the plan tonight? Fellas, my wife's going out for dinner. Oh, that's right, yes. So I'll be at home. I'll probably be able to watch, that means, one of my Netflix murder sort of things. Yeah, those are those docos that they have. I'm halfway through one at the moment, so I'll be able to finish that one off there and there. Yeah, it's going to be pretty easy going, I'd say.

55:44Maybe get a little bit of work in if I'm lucky. What about you, Keezy Man?

55:48Mike Minogue:Pretty chill for me as well. I'm still quite tired from the weekend. You've had a busy day today as well. I have had a busy day today. So, going to go home. My wife will have made some sort of food bag situation, and then I'm actually going to try and suggest that we watch that latest episode of Broken Wood Mysteries, which is now no longer the latest episode. No. Last weekend's. We'll want to be centred around Jase. Yes, yes, yes. I'd love to watch it. Just something like that where I can just switch my brain off and go, look, this isn't that great. But, you know, you just sort of sit there and you just take it all in.

56:17Look, I mean, it's a hell of a performance. It's a hell of a performance. I'm actually excited to watch it, Jase. Yeah, good stuff, man. Let's talk about it tomorrow. But, yeah, the time flies by. Yeah. My six-year-old daughter was fully engaged in it. Wow. She really, I mean, she got it. What are you going to do tonight, Jase?

56:32Mike Minogue:Just more of what you were talking about in the clip just then?

56:36Keyzie:Yeah. Put yourself through your paces. Yeah, that's what I'm going to do, fellas, as soon as I get home.

56:41Mike Minogue:I'm picturing it now. Has he got the boots on?

56:43Keyzie:I found a great movie channel, which just plays really crap old movies. so I'll be probably watching that eating my macaroni and cheese and micro greens good on you mate just for those at home Jase is wearing a weird hoodie

57:02Mike Minogue:yeah he is wearing a weird hoodie can you sign off so I can go home please no see you tomorrow goodbye