FULL SHOW: Keyzie VS The Kids

12:11Keyzie:And can I just say I don't highly recommend giving kids who are total strangers lollies on the street.

12:18Mike Minogue:Oh, yeah, has that backfired for you before, has it?

12:20Keyzie:No, not for me personally, but it's not a good look, I wouldn't think.

12:24Mike Minogue:What about this one from Mark? I was at a park with my two-year-old son. Some local youths were attempting to break a piece of the playground, so I yelled at them to cut it out. They then turned on me and dished out mean insults about my receding hairline. Best just to steer clear, Keezy. Yeah. The Hauraki Big Show with Jace, Mike and Keezy. Tune in weekdays at four on Radio Hauraki.

12:46Keyzie:Collective soul there on the Radio Hauraki Big Show this Wednesday afternoon. The time is 4.38. Now, fellas, I don't know if you realise this, but Christmas is fast approaching. and I was thinking maybe in terms of gifts for each other and stuff as we go into the Christmas break, maybe the big show could do some sort of secret Santa set up. I think that's good. Just to keep it simple, keep it easy. We don't go too overboard. I love it. You know what I mean? Yeah.

13:16Mike Minogue:Okay, well the first thing we need to establish was secret Santa. So we don't know who the presents are coming from? Well, it's a secret. Yeah. I know, I'm just confirming. Otherwise it would just be called Santa. No, I'm just confirming that that's what you mean by Secret Santa Secret Santa, yeah Are we thinking the four of us with Pugson? Yep Yeah, the four of us, we're a team then It's going to be four of us Yeah, definitely But then there's been people that have filled in before Like Dilly's helped us out before Oh, Dilly has nothing

13:40Keyzie:No, no, bugger Dilly Yeah He's not getting any Secret Santa stuff Right, I mean, that's pretty harsh And that would make him an odd person There would be five then That's okay Four's a good number Yeah But I mean, okay, alright then Because I'm thinking also we need to sort of settle upon the sort of price range. $200.

13:58Mike Minogue:Right. Okay. Well, no,$200. Yes. But that's more than I'm going to spend on, you know.

14:04Keyzie:Well, that's more than you spend on anything, to be fair, Kesey, I know. Well, I just don't want my house getting clogged up with tat. With crap, yeah. And I know that if we set around about$200 there, that'll be something that I'll potentially be interested in keeping, and maybe I won't re-gift it. I was actually thinking more$250, but... 250 is good. Yeah, 250.

14:23Mike Minogue:I don't have like, you know, talkback money or anything. I don't have that stuff.

14:27Keyzie:Well, you've got Game of Two Hearths money and you've got all those accounts. Just get them from one of your accounts. Your fun account, maybe.

14:34Mike Minogue:My wife's going to kill me if I have a$250 random secret Santa. It's not random. Well, I thought it was random. You spend, you spend. Well, you know who you're giving it to. Right. Yeah. Who am I giving it to? Well, you'll know who you're giving it to, but they won't know who's giving it to them. So they won't realise that I'm giving it to them. No, no, no. Yes, that's right. That's weird. Yeah.

14:53Keyzie:So$250, we happy with$250? I think$250 is good. Because I don't want to, and also can I just put in a stipulation, because this really gets deep inside my goat when this happens, I don't want people making me shit. No. You know what I mean? I'm not going to make you a$250 gift. You've got to spend$250. Pugs is all on board. Maybe you attach the receipt as proof. Yeah, I want to be able to return it 100%. Oh, well, no, you can't return it. Well, you can if it sucks. And on that note, it's not the thought that counts. Right. It's the quality of the gift and the value of it. Can I just clarify on the return thing here if you don't like it?

15:28Keyzie:Yes. Is it okay to sell it? Yes, 100%. Yeah, like on Trade Me or something like that, especially if it's worth$250 plus.

15:35Mike Minogue:You know what I'm saying? Well, to be honest, once you own it, you can do whatever you want with it. That's right. It's mine. How are we going to decide who gets what, who gives?

15:42Keyzie:I just don't want to get a gift from Keezy that I hate and then sell it and then him going on a Trade Me account and finding that I am selling it.

15:50Mike Minogue:Right. Okay, so do you want to – do we – okay, so you don't want to get a gift from me because I can make it so that I don't – Well, I'm sorry, but it's a secret Santa and it's random. It's got to be that. Yeah, right. You've got to have certain rules in place. It's just that I don't want to get a gift from Pugs. No. Because he gives shocking gifts.

16:04Keyzie:Yeah. Well, it's always sexually related, isn't it? Very sexually related.

16:07Mike Minogue:And I'd hate to think when you get it for$2.50.

16:09Keyzie:I don't actually mind getting, you know, something from old Pugs.

16:12Mike Minogue:Well, okay, well, why doesn't Pugs get you yours? Yes. And then, Mogi, I'll get you your gift. Oh. Oh, well, I don't have to. I could get...

16:22Keyzie:Can we actually... Is it okay to get... If I'm getting you a gift, Keezy, is it okay if it's secondhand? But where? Oh, yeah. But it's got to still be worth a$2.50.

16:32Mike Minogue:It has to have a market value of$2.50. Can we swap it? Huh? Can we swap it? So once we've all got our gifts and we're in the room pretending we like it, can we then do some swapping?

16:40Keyzie:Well, I can't see anyone wanting to swap when Pugsun gives me a butt plug or something like that. A$250 one, yeah, I doubt it, but yeah. I don't want to swap that. I'll tell you what. How about this? Why don't we just get ourselves something we like and then just say thanks to someone in the group?

16:58Mike Minogue:Yeah, let's do that.

16:59Keyzie:Yeah, no, that sounds good, man.

17:01Mike Minogue:I'm excited, though. Yeah. I love Secret Santa. Tis the season, fellas. How good. Is this the Black Keys? Sure is. The Hauraki Big Show. Weekdays from four on Radio Hauraki. That's so true, man. Yeah. There's a lot of truth in that. And six or seven-year-old kids smashing jars around Kesey's joint. Yeah, yeah. That's pretty freaky. Freaky, all right.

17:27Keyzie:That's West Auckland for you, though.

17:29Mike Minogue:Are we going to do TV chat, man? What's on the telly with Mike Minogue?

17:39Keyzie:Yes. Yeah. Bit of an old one, this one, fellas, but I watched this on a plane somewhere. I think it might have been Fiji. And it's called Very Ralph. Is that a good name for something? Very Ralph. Very Ralph. And it's about Ralph Lauren, the fashion designer. It was a documentary on him. He's an American fellow there. And sort of how he came about and how he started design and how he came to fame. It was mildly interesting. and I think he's got a weird sort of wacky sort of sense of style about him, you know what I mean? Yes. There's lots of bright colours one minute and then there's like cowboy outfits and it seems like it's all over the show to me.

18:25But I do like how they find their inspiration, but he can't draw. It's very weird. So he doesn't do any drawings of designs or anything like that. He just sort of talks to people and tells them what he likes. Yes. And then he will find something from like a James Bond film and go, oh, I like those suits. and then he'll release those suits and now he's a genius. Anyway, pretty interesting fella. Fairly interesting story. I got about three quarters of the way through it and turned it off. So there you go. Two and a half pussies. Out of five. And you have to jump on Fiji Airways to Suva. Does that have to be that flight?

19:02Well, that was the one I was on. It was definitely on that one. Just to be sure. I've seen other ones which I've really enjoyed. That one's not the best made that I've ever seen.

19:11Keyzie:I've got to be honest with you fellas I have nothing much to offer on TV chat today, didn't really concentrate on anything particularly last night you know what I mean, it was one of those lazy TV nights in between learning lines and stuff and so I wasn't really concentrating, you know what I mean

19:27Mike Minogue:what did you watch Keezy I watched several things firstly if you are a fan of Celebrity Traitors UK there's a whole lot of great reactions of people finding out that the other people were traitors on YouTube. So once you've finished it, go and watch those. You can watch those for about an hour and a half. Very, very entertaining. Then I watched a documentary about how Vladimir Putin's got two secret sons that he's hiding from everyone. They're like secret Santas? No, he doesn't want anyone to know that he's got not secret Santas. He's probably got about 50. No, but he's married to this, he was married to this woman and then they got divorced and then he secretly married this former Olympian.

20:02Mike Minogue:And then they live in this secret place that has all this anti-aircraft stuff around it. The North Pole. The North Pole. and he's got two secret boys that live there. One's eight and one's ten or so. It was very interesting. And it was from an investigative journalist who was no longer living in Russia and a few of his colleagues had been murdered. Yeah. Very interesting, scary stuff. Yeah. Very interesting.

20:23Keyzie:I mean, he's a war criminal. He's a mad dog. He's a horrendous human being, but yes. He loves a bit of poisoning. Yeah, he loves a bit of killing. Yeah. Loves a bit of bareback horse riding. He does, shirtless. Shirtless. Yes. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Except that he has done some good comedy photo shoots in his time, to be fair to him. Black belt and jujitsu, I think. Yeah, Aikido. Yeah. What belt was it? Black belt. Racism alert. Racism alert.

20:54Mike Minogue:The Hauraki Big Show with Jase, Mike and Keezy. Tune in weekdays at four on Radio Hauraki.

21:00Keyzie:Welcome back, you massive backbones. Hope you're getting through your hump day. You're listening to The Big Show, brought to you by Reboogil.

21:06Mike Minogue:Crave-worthy street food freshly made with Reburgier. OK, and looking ahead to your Reburgier report for the week. As the evening rolls in, you can expect crave-worthy burgers with pockets of other variations of gourmet street food perfect for dining and takeaway. Now, looking ahead to tomorrow, there's a strong chance of beef, chicken, vegan and vegetarian conditions. But across the week, regardless of what you're seeing outside, you can expect it to be... Yeah!

21:49Mike Minogue:That's your Reburger weather report, courtesy of old Pugsart.

21:52Keyzie:Should have done there, yeah. So good. Speaking of the weather, I'm over it, man. It's absolutely pissing down here in Auckland. Apparently it's not going to be a good summer. It's going to be a shocking summer.

22:01Mike Minogue:Can you make up your mind? because you're convinced it was going to be amazing.

22:04Keyzie:I am so over the rain.

22:06Mike Minogue:It's been raining for like two days, if that.

22:08Keyzie:It's just doing my head in. And yeah, I don't know. I just feel like it's going to be like this all summer now. Yeah. I mean, what's the point? I don't know. Just make it winter all the time. It's pissing down with rain. Just over it, man. And they just laid some new steps on my bloody driveway and concreted it up there. Soon as they finish, pissing down with rain, Mogi. They laid some steps on your driveway. And, well, I got a big step down from my driveway and bloody pockmarked the concrete. Oh, it's permanent, Lyle, because I don't know if you guys know this, concrete hardens. It does. And then all of a sudden whatever's happened to it in the meantime will be permanent.

22:52Keyzie:I think it's cement that hardens. Well, cement, yeah, fair point. Into concrete. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Have I shown you a photo of my new steps? I'm all good. Show it to me now, man. You pockmarked steps. Actually, I don't know that I've taken a photo of them. I should. They're awesome.

23:08Mike Minogue:You should take a photo of your steps and show the fellas. I reckon they'd love that. Link in park, man. Get a photo with the steps, though, you know? Like you lounging back on them.

23:21Keyzie:Yeah, yeah, yeah. Nude. Semi-nude.

23:23Mike Minogue:The Hauraki Big Show. Weekdays from four on Radio Hauraki.

23:28Keyzie:Yeah. S &D talking heads there on the radio. Hodaki Big Show this Wednesday afternoon. Let's have some improv. Quiet on set. Sound speed. Lights. Camera. Action. Now it's time for the Big Show Improv.

23:46Mike Minogue:That's right, bringing back the Big Show Improv just because I've realised I need some training. I went for a walk around the block last night. There were some kids getting up to mischief, about six, seven years old. I didn't know what to do, and my wife ended up yelling at them to stop them from causing havoc. They were smashing up these jars and it worked. But then I was worried that their older brothers might come out and give me a hiding or something. Or the dad or anyone. It's terrifying. And also I just need practice at disciplining children because I suck. I've never done it. I'm terrible at it.

24:18Mike Minogue:So for this improv, I'll play me, Moggy. Me, Moggy? No, sorry. I'll play me, Keezy. Oh, yes. You'll play my wife, Mrs. Keezy Yeah Great And then Jace, I guess you'll be the kid Okay, yeah, cool Okay

24:33Keyzie:How old am I again?

24:35Mike Minogue:You're like seven Seven, okay Seven, yeah, little fella And the kid was too, so that's good Alright, you ready to go? I'm ready Okay Action This is such a beautiful walk, Christopher Really lovely Yeah, I know, babe. It's the same walk we do pretty much every night. Oh, I know, but I just really want to appreciate it in the moment, eh? Oh, totally, babe, totally. How come you're not holding my hand? Sorry. Hold my hand. Yeah. Here you go. How's that? That's nice. Yeah. God, look at that little kid there. He's smashing those jars. When are we going to have kids, babe? Honestly, isn't it about time we had some kids?

25:14Look at him. He's gorgeous.

25:16Mike Minogue:No, he's being a little shit. He's smashing up those jars over there. But I'm not sure what I should do about it. He is too. Hey, knock it off, you shocking little bastard. My husband will kick the shit out of you. No, no, hang on. But now they're going to come over and give me a hiding. Yeah, you'll be right, babe. You're tough as. Oh, he didn't hear you. He's still doing it. What should I do?

25:37Keyzie:Stop it, dickhead. Sorry, what was that? What was that, love? Sorry? I said stop it, you little bastard. You don't go smashing glass on the road.

25:47Mike Minogue:Sorry, hang on. It's just, Jase, are you going to put on like a kid voice? Yes, yeah. Oh, okay. All right, sorry. Listen here, you... Say something, babe. Stand up for me. Is that your missus, is it? Yeah, that is my wife. Jeez, Punchin.

26:02Keyzie:All right, mate, you don't even... How old are you? Punchin, mate. How old are you? Especially when you're wearing such a stupid jacket. What is that, Corroy? What's your name? Kalen. Oh, I appreciate that, Kalen. Thanks. Well, you're a babe. I'm just saying it how it is, you know what I mean? I feel like I haven't been seen for years, Kalen. Well, I see you pretty damn good from where I'm standing. Okay, sorry.

26:23Mike Minogue:Sorry. Okay, no, this isn't. You're meant to be seven years of age. I am, Keezy. That's how I sounded when I was seven. And, Mogi, why do you sound so weird? Huh? You don't sound like my wife at all. Oh, well, I'm a version of you. I'm not your actual wife. Your actual wife. Right, okay.

26:41Keyzie:I thought he was sounding really hot.

26:46Oh, is that? Shall we come back to that? We haven't solved it. Well, I don't know. Sure, if you want. I feel like we've got to solve it for you, Keezy. What happens if you run into another couple of six-year-olds out on the streets?

26:58Keyzie:We're getting freaked out, man. You've got to know how to deal with this stuff.

27:02Mike Minogue:The Hauraki Big Show. Weekdays from four on Radio Hauraki. Bush. Bush.

27:08Keyzie:This Wednesday afternoon. 23 minutes past five o 'clock. Hey, fellas, I don't know. Have you heard of Lotto? Oh, I think that's short. You know what that's short for? Lotto Rees. Oh, is it? Yes. I did not know that. Yes. Kesey was regaling me in the break there. Yeah. Because he was having a bit of an investigation with a huge jackpot. 45 mil. That one third of New Zealanders have bought a ticket.

27:44Mike Minogue:Man. That's right. So a lot of people are in it to get their hands on that 45 mil. Do you think they're in it to win it? I think so. Most of them would be. But a third of New Zealand, it's pretty unlikely. Wow. Yeah. They can't all win, Kesey. They can't all win. Well, they could.

28:05Keyzie:And they get like 10 bucks. Imagine that. Everyone in New Zealand winning and getting 10 bucks each. I reckon we should all just take turns at winning it each week. Do you know what I mean? So rather than, you know, everybody can win it, this week it's my turn, for example. Agreed.

28:21Mike Minogue:I was thinking I could go first. Right, like this week and then next week you can win it.

28:26Keyzie:Nah. How do we feel about a big show, big group, lotto sort of, you know how they put together, what do they call it, syndicate? Syndicate, yeah. So how does that work? Everybody puts an X amount of money and we all choose some numbers and then we all go in the pot. And then generally you would do it every week. it would be a week-on-week thing, a recurring ticket where it's just bought every single week, and then you split the winnings. Well, who's going to run that? Well, I've got the app on my phone. Right. I mean, I'd be happy to run it, fellas. You guys could just send me the dosh, and I'll get the ticket.

29:05Mike Minogue:So we each give you a ticket, let's just say the$25 ticket. Let's say. Let's just say it's that. So you're just buying one ticket? Yes. Okay, you're buying one ticket. And we're all in a syndicate together. That's right. Let's say it costs$24. Let's say$24. That's$6 each a week.

29:22Keyzie:So you guys just send me your$6 each week. $312 each a year. Right, and then you buy one ticket. And I buy one ticket. And if we win, we'll go from there. Okay.

29:34Mike Minogue:Hang on. What does we'll go from there? Well, you've got to divide it by four, the winnings. Yeah, but I want to hear him say that. As I say, let's deal with that when it happens and if it happens.

29:47Keyzie:You know what I'm saying? Well, why are you being so weird? Why don't you just say? I'm not being weird, Keezy. I'm just saying don't. What's it called? You're jumping the shark here. No, that's not at all what that is. Jumping the gun. Oh, jumping the gun. Yeah. I'm not comfortable with you doing this anymore. Yeah. Me? No, Jase. I don't think he should do it. So maybe we'll just have Jase not involved and it's just Pugson and Keezy and Mogi. And Jase, you buy your own ticket, mate. That'll be fun. Well, I tell you what, if I win and I'm not sharing it with you, bastards. You know, it's the idea.

30:16My concern is that that would have happened, yes. Yeah. Yes.

30:20Keyzie:I mean, I'll definitely be straight up. I mean, if we won and I was the head of the syndicate, I would absolutely say, I mean, I'd be on that phone immediate. My concern is that you take a commission or something off the top of it. So I just think maybe I'll run it, you guys put the money into my account, and then we'll take it from there. Well, hang on, that's what he... Well, actually, yeah, no, okay, that's fair enough. Keezy, because I know you've got Mogi's details. Can you just put my thing in for this week? Right. And then I'll cover you next week. So you'll pay for me next week? Well, I will pay you the money that you put out this week.

31:02Mike Minogue:You know, I'm actually pretty keen just to flag the whole idea, to be honest. I might just get my own ticket. Well, I don't know how many times I'll say this to you, Keezy, but you simply must be in it to win it. Right, okay. Actually, write that down, would you? I will. And you jumped the shark years ago, by the way. The Hauraki Big Show, weekdays from four on Radio Hauraki.

31:23Keyzie:To have a... Finished?

31:28Mike Minogue:Yeah.

31:30Keyzie:Talk about ruin a song. Far out, man.

31:34Mike Minogue:Jason, you're on the Big Show, by the way, on Hauraki. Oh, it's Radio Hauraki. Yes, Radio Hauraki. Yes, obviously, until you guys butchered it. 13 minutes to six, yeah. I'll be doing that. Thanks, Maggie. On your Wednesday, oh, geez, it took so long, Jase.

31:48Keyzie:I don't know how it is in your household, but there's a bit of Christmas chat going on in mine. Yep, same here. I.E., I.E., what are we going to do for Christmas? Oh, yes. And I said to my beloved wife of many, many years, I said, how about this, darling? Let's go old school camping. And by old school camping, I mean, you know, just head up north somewhere because I like up north. It's beautiful beaches and stuff. And just give a really basic little tent, a little outside cooker, your water and stuff. Get up in the morning, have nudie swims. Make love in the morning. Who's going on this trip? Me and my wife.

32:30Keyzie:Oh, yeah. You know, and just really get back to basics. On Christmas Day? No, you know, for the holiday. Over that sort of period. And maybe avoid all the campsites and stuff like that. Just, what do they call it? Freedom camp. Freedom camp, you know. Let's just feel the wind in our hair. Trespassing. Just see wherever we end up. Steamers wherever you like. And I was thinking, you know, rekindle the romance. Not that we need to. Sounds like. But it's just, you know, an opportunity to just get back to basics. We don't need much. Just a bit of dehydrated food, some scrumpy, a bit of water, some coffee, a bit of swimming, a bit of, I can catch the meals.

33:10By scrumpy, do you mean scrogging?

33:12Keyzie:Oh, yes, scrumpy. Because scrumpy's a cider. Yeah, no, I thought that didn't sound quite right. Yeah, a bit of scrogging, that sort of thing. Let's just get back to basics. Right, and so what did she say? She was not into it. I could not believe. She said it sounds hideous.

33:30Mike Minogue:Well, that's the thing, right, is you want to go. When was the last time you went camping?

33:34Keyzie:Oh, 20 years ago. Oh, yeah. You know what I mean?

33:36Mike Minogue:It's a good 20 years. Have you got the outdoor equipment you need? No. Right, okay. And you want to take your wife somewhere and not actually pay for a site, go somewhere where there's no one around, no food or anything like that.

33:49Keyzie:Well, obviously, I mean, I'm not an idiot, Kesey. Says who? I would buy stuff. You know, I wouldn't just go and sit in a paddock somewhere with no food. Yeah, right, okay. I can see why. I can see you sitting in a paddock with no food. You know. Freaking out. And we could borrow a pup tent. I'm sure you've probably got a tent I could borrow, Keezy. I do have a tent.

34:10Mike Minogue:Yeah, good. Although, weren't you saying you haven't been able to pitch a tent for years? The Hauraki Big Show. Weekdays from four on Radio Hauraki.

34:19Keyzie:Alison James here on the Radio Hauraki Big Show this Wednesday evening. Now, listen, it's the final T20 against the West Indies in New Zealand tomorrow. If you want tickets to that, I think it's in Dunedin, give us a call right now on 0800 Hauraki because we've got a couple of tickets to give away, fellas. It's been bloody good, actually, this series. You know, look, maybe we're not the biggest fans of T20, but they've been so close that I have been a fan of this series, Jase. Right. They've all been very, very close, and it's a shame that one of them got rained out because I'd have to say that the West Indies have been particularly unlucky to have lost in the fashion that they have.

34:55Yes.

34:55Keyzie:They've got a lot of heart, those bastards. They go, heart. Well, I watched the last, or not the one that just got cancelled, but the one before that where the West Indies, it was all over over. Yes. They were eight down with about 100 to get or something ridiculous like that, and they nearly got there. They very nearly got there. They should have got there in the end. I think they were trying to get 48 off 21 from memory, and then it was to doosh, to doosh, to doosh, to doosh, to doosh. Yes. But they also, they bat all the way down to 10, so the all-rounders go all the way to 10. They stack their team.

35:25They don't have anybody. They've got one guy who's a specialist bowler, but other than that, they can all carry the willow.

35:31Keyzie:Yeah, great stuff. Yeah, well, I think at one stage they needed to get 10 off 12 or something. That's right. And you go, okay, she's all over. Beautiful court and bowled by Jacob Duffy, Kieser. You would have seen that. That was a stunning catch. It was very good. I loved it.

35:45Mike Minogue:Stunning catch. Let's give away this double pass. G'day, Lise. How you going, man?

35:50Keyzie:Good. How are you guys going? Yeah, good, mate. Thanks, Lise, you mad bastard. What do you do for a crust, Lise? Oh, I'm just a joiner, mate. Ah, backbone. Come on, man. You're a backbone. You're not just a joiner.

36:03Mike Minogue:You're a backbone. Would you like that double pass to go see the Black Caps tomorrow, Lease?

36:08Keyzie:Oh, yeah, that sounds pretty good.

36:12Mike Minogue:You sure, man?

36:13Keyzie:I mean, we're going to force it on you, man.

36:15Mike Minogue:No, no, we are forcing it on you, Lease. That double pass is all yours, mate, all right? Awesome, guys. Have a great night. You're going to be a good brother, Lease. God, he's a man. Love you, Lease. I love you, Lease.

36:24Keyzie:God. Hey, now listen, coming up after 6 o 'clock, what's on the dinner with me, Keezy? Now, if you're struggling for dinner, imagine yourself with a$50 Reeburger voucher. And so if you text us on 3483 and let us know what you're having for dinner, you go on the draw to potentially win a$50 Reeburger voucher.

36:43Mike Minogue:That's right. We want to know where you're from as well. 3483, send it on through and you could win.

36:51Mike Minogue:The Hauraki Big Show with Jace, Mike and Keezy. Tune in weekdays at four on Radio Hauraki.

36:56Keyzie:Welcome back, you massive backbones.

36:59Mike Minogue:You massive macbones. Then choking on a big one there. Oh, my God, that was terrible. I don't know.

37:06Keyzie:You're listening to The Big Show, brought to you by Reburger.

37:09Mike Minogue:Serving good times and good food, dine-in or takeaway Reburger today. Yum.

37:15Keyzie:I've got my mother-in-law staying tonight, and I said to my wife, let's treat her a little bit and get some Reburger in there. Yeah, yeah. Do you reckon she'd enjoy it? Swap a burger in her hand and say, cop that. Yeah, I think she would enjoy it, actually, Keezy. She likes a bit of burger action. Really? Yes. What does she prefer, beef or? Yeah, I think beef.

37:38Mike Minogue:Yeah.

37:38Keyzie:Likes a meat patty.

37:40Mike Minogue:Yum, yeah. To be honest, every time I go to get a burger from Reburger, I'm looking at all the different kind of burgers. Yeah. And I'm like, maybe I'll get a beef burger. And then I always just get a chicken burger. Do you? I don't know why. Oh, the beef's good. Yeah, yeah, yeah. No, I know it's good eating, man.

37:52Keyzie:But, you know, well, the sticky bishop, for example, that's delicious. Oh, does she like a sticky bishop? She likes a sticky bishop. And actually, I said to her, hey, when you come down and stay on Wednesday night, I'll get you a sticky bishop. And what did she say? She didn't say anything. She was a bit quiet, actually, a bit awkward.

38:12Mike Minogue:Yeah, that is pretty full on. But they are delicious, though. And the loaded fries are good as well.

38:17Keyzie:Just on the chicken, their chicken's delicious. You had some tenders on Friday, Moggy. They were bloody great. You tell your mother-in-law there, moist. Yes. The chicken? Yeah.

38:30Mike Minogue:Hey, up next, what's on the dinner with me, Keezy? 3483, give us a text and you could win a voucher to go to Reburger yourself. Keezy, do me a favour, mate. Listen to this sick riff. Oh, yeah. Is this the chillies? I've never heard this before. It's sick, man. Wait for it. Wait for it. Here it comes. Oh, my God. It's so good already. It sort of goes do-do-j. Really? Do-j-do-j. Ah, bro. Listen to that. Bar out.

38:54Keyzie:I reckon.

38:55Mike Minogue:Try that on for size. The Hauraki Big Show. Weekdays from four on Radio Hauraki.

39:00Keyzie:Tom Petty and the Heartbreakers there on the Radio Hauraki Big Show this Wednesday evening, but right now it's time for... Oh, yeah, hey, guys.

39:08Mike Minogue:Text here from Steve. What's on the dinner? With me, Katie. That's right. You text in what you're having for dinner, and we read it out on the radio, and you could get a$50 Reburger voucher.

39:23Keyzie:Can I just ask a question? Yes, please. Does what's on the dinner make sense?

39:28Mike Minogue:Of course it doesn't freaking make sense. What? That's why I wanted it. You changed it. It was what's for tea, New Zealand. You guys were like, no, it doesn't make sense. It has to be what's on the dinner so it matches what's on tally. Oh, yeah, that makes sense. Oh, yeah, no. I forgot about that. Yeah, no, yeah, it does make sense. No, it doesn't. Oh, it just. G'day fellas, Clint here Eastwood Holy hecka, is it really? Yeah Oh my god

39:52Keyzie:He'd be having some kind of steak and beans Steak and beans He's having beans cooked on a campsite fire I agree He's got his horse tied up It's been a long day out on the range, Keezy

40:05Mike Minogue:Been a busy day Been a busy day G'day guys, Clint Eastwood here in Tauranga Mints and cheese pie Alfredo macaroni Veggies Bit of a flash Flash variation On pea pie and pud Yeah all of that's Not good Clint I love a mince and cheese pie though And macaroni cheese Yeah but not with He's changed What's he got there? Pasta Alfredo pasta Which is where you add water and milk Is it? Yeah It's that instant That's that packet It's your classic And then what was the last thing there? Veggies A flash variation Look you get what you can You know Sometimes you need something Quick and easy You get it in your gullet But you're not serving that up for the love of your life, are you, Keezy?

40:46Keyzie:Nah, certainly. I'd imagine Keezy eating something like that on a bachelor night. 100%. You know what I mean? 100 % I'd eat that.

40:52Mike Minogue:Yep, yep. But I'm not serving it up for the love of my life, am I, Jase? I used to eat that pasta. I used to have the sour cream one. It was good. Back in the day, you know? Same. Yeah, back in my broke days when I was spending my money on other things. G'day, fellas. James here. Oh, who? Sorry? James. Dean. Oh, you're joking. Is he still? Is James Gunn the director of the Hollywood movies? No, it's James Dean. James Fisher-Harris. James Packer. He doesn't listen, man. That's a stupid thing to say. James Fisher-Harris. It's James Dean. How old would he be now? He'd be old. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, he would be.

41:31I reckon he'd be 79 if he was a day, Kesey.

41:35Mike Minogue:Yeah, yeah, true. G'day, guys. James Dean from Dunedin here. Fellas, blue cheese snags and a bit of mash for dinner tonight. Blue cheese snags. Never heard of such a thing.

41:45Keyzie:Neither have I. That sounds good, though. That sounds delicious. I do like a blue cheese and I like a sausage, so that's got a little bit of that salty. I like that. I'm not happy at the lack of greens there. Oh, I have no greens there. I'll be banging all those sausages one after the other.

42:00Mike Minogue:Whole? Yeah. Just getting them in me. Like that seagull that eats a hot dog? Have you seen that one? Just eats it whole. Old Mogey. Do you want another one, man? Yes, please. Yum. Yes, please. Another sausage. G'day, fellas. Jack here. Nicholas. Not me off. As soon as I said it, I was like, it's not me off.

42:25Mike Minogue:Who'd you say? Nicholas. Yeah, Nicholas. Two fat jacket spuds with tuna mayo. Backbone dinner. Get it in you.

42:39What?

42:40Keyzie:What? What's tuna mayo? Well, it comes out of a can. He might have spiced it up a bit himself, but that tuna has 100 % come out of a can. Yes. Straight into a baked potato. A baked potato, I spend a bit of time living on baked potatoes. They can be good. I agree. That's a$4 meal you're looking at right there. I agree. That is good eating. You've got your proteins. You've got great flavour there. A little bit of mayo in there, salt and pepper. Beautiful. Good eating. Maybe some chives out of the garden, but it doesn't sound like the kind of bloke that's running chives.

43:09Mike Minogue:Who jacked me off. The Hauraki Big Show with Jace, Mike and Keezy. Tune in weekdays at four on Radio Hauraki.

43:17Keyzie:Incubus there on the Radio Hauraki Big Show this Wednesday evening. Looking forward to golf tomorrow, Keezy?

43:24Mike Minogue:Yes, I texted Minaya earlier because he's coming with us from the breakfast show, and he said it might be raining tomorrow, so we'll have to see how it goes. Right, okay. Is he a weatherman, is he? Apparently. Even though I looked at my app and it said it might maybe shower for maybe one hour. He's got a hell of a cheek, that guy. And the rest of it's meant to be smart. He sure does. He really does. Plus, me and Jase get out there regardless, man.

43:47Keyzie:We do. I mean, who the hell does he think he is? It's a good question, but I don't have the answer. Hey, speaking of golf, have you fellas heard of Chasing the Fox?

43:55Mike Minogue:Nice segue, Jase. That was so good. Did that just come to you then? Yeah, it did. I like the way you, because you took what we were naturally talking about and then said, have you guys heard of? Yes. And then said something that we've been promoting for like three years.

44:07Keyzie:You know what that is, fellas? 14 years of radio experience. Shit, you can't play that. 14 years, is that right? You've been doing this since you were 25. Yeah, man. Wow. God, it feels an age ago. Were you 25 when Bougiou started? Around about, yeah. Yeah, 26. Yeah, yeah. Jesus. Yeah, yeah. What was that you were saying about Chasing the Fox, man? Hey, it's happening again, fellas. And the big show are going to be there, incidentally. Oh, yes, we are. Which I'm very excited about.

44:33Mike Minogue:I am too. We're doing our show live from Chasing the Fox that afternoon. We'll also be playing Royal Auckland and Grange Golf Course before the old pros get out there. What makes it Royal, Keezy? I don't know. Tell the listeners. Oh, King Charles has a membership there, an honorary one. Yeah, he does. They gifted it to him.

44:51Keyzie:Is that why? 100 % it is.

44:53Mike Minogue:Well, at the moment it's King Charles, but originally it was... Prince Charles? Well, yeah, obviously. I think it was Prince Philip had an honorary membership there or something. Right, okay. And now King Charles has it, and that's why they're allowed to call it Royal. Yeah. Yeah, I made that all up. So it's happening December 12th. Of course, Chasing the Fox is happening. There's Team Media, Team Warriors, Team blah, blah, blah. So many great World of New Zealanders taking on Ryan Fox. We're going to be there. We want you to come along as well. Head to hodaki.co.nz. You can win tickets for you and three of your mates to be sitting in the Fox Club, which is the best seats in the house, man.

45:27Mike Minogue:Yeah, man. Best seats in the house. We'll see you there. Or if you want to buy your tickets, chasingthefox.com.

45:31Keyzie:And are you saying we're playing before it kicks off? Yeah, so it's only six holes chasing the fox? Imagine us, we're going to butcher the whole, you're going to butcher all the greens and bits of grass everywhere.

45:43Mike Minogue:We'll surely have heaps of divots in the greens. Yeah, totally. Yeah. I'm a bit concerned because we have got, we're playing around earlier and then we sort of go straight into doing our show. Yes. But we're only playing six holes. Oh, it's six. Yeah, we're just playing the six that are going to be on TV. The same six, that makes sense. Nice and chill, then we'll have some lunch and a few beersies. Yeah, that's my concern. So my concern is the drinking during the golf from you, the drinking during lunch from you, and the drinking during the show from you. Well, like, I don't... Nah, we'll be sweet as.

46:11Mike Minogue:Oh, okay. And you know, as long as...

46:13Keyzie:And it's the last week of work, I think, isn't it?

46:15Mike Minogue:Oh, I know, the following week is the last week. It's technically our Christmas party. So you'll have a week, you know, we'll have a week. It'll create a lot of content for the last week of the show. Yes, yes, yes. Plus, and it's like you guys were saying, as long as two of us are all G, then we're sweet as. That's a good idea, yes. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Oh, man, how good. Do you know this song, Jase? I do. What's it called? I don't know what it's called. What's My Age Again? Oh, What's My Age Again?

46:38Keyzie:39. Yeah, 39.

46:39Mike Minogue:The Hauraki Big Show with Jase, Mike and Keezy. Tune in weekdays at four on Radio Hauraki.

46:46Keyzie:Crowded house here on the Radio Hauraki Big Show this Wednesday evening. Fellas, let's give out some advice. Meet Patti Nett. Sessina. at gmail.com.

47:01Mike Minogue:Get in touch with the fellas. I feel like we're butchering then so people don't know the email address. You're doing great, man. No, I'm not.

47:10Keyzie:Yeah, well, if you could do better keys, yeah, it would be good. Well, hang on. He just said I'm doing great. Because I feel like we're butchering it and people don't know what the actual email address is.

47:19Mike Minogue:Well, I'll just say it now. Meet. Meetpattynips69 at gmail.com. Get in touch with the fellas. And if you read it on the show, you can get yourself a$50 Reburger voucher. By the way, starting to run low on advice questions. So if you've never sent one in before and you've thought about it, do it and you'll probably get a voucher. Can I just say pet advice, relationship advice, anything, acting, chat, whatever you like. Whatever you need, man. This one comes in from Anonymous. G'day, fellas. It's with a heavy heart I seek your wise legal counsel. I have recently been promised a hefty sum of voucher upon participating in a promotion with a large conglomerate company.

47:56Look, can I just say that we get too many emails coming in saying that people have won shit and we haven't sent it through to them. I don't feel like this is the place for that complaint. Yes. I feel like that's a separate email account that should be getting that because how many times do we have to answer it? It's our most popular question.

48:13Mike Minogue:Where is my voucher? But also, I don't want people to not send in advice questions thinking they're not going to get a voucher.

48:18Keyzie:Well, they need to listen to the answers to other advice questions. Can I also make the point on that front? This has been going on for 12 years. Oh. I mean, this isn't a new phenomenon. Can I just say, if you think you're going to get what you think you've won,

48:32Mike Minogue:you're living in a dream world. No, that's not true at all. I think we've got a pretty good hit rate, like at least 40%.

48:39Keyzie:Can I counsel this person on expectations? Do you want the rest of the question? The expectation is I'm sending it in, you've read it, and I haven't received my voucher. Can I read the rest of the question? I should just say that what happens is when you win a voucher, and I've seen Pugs do it, Pugs is in charge of sending out the vouchers. He sits there. He's got a stack of the vouchers. He's got a stack of envelopes. He's got a stack of stamps. He goes, lick the stamp, put it on the envelope, takes the voucher, puts it in the envelope, licks the envelope shut, and then just writes backbone on the front of it.

49:09Really? He chucks it in a mailbox.

49:11Mike Minogue:Are you serious? And hopes for the best. Is that how we send them out? It's either going to get to you or it's not. Well, how the hell has half of them got through then? because quite a lot of people have received them.

49:19Keyzie:I actually, the other day, funny you should say that, Mogi, Pugsang came up to me and he said, hey, Hoity J, can you give me a hand with a mail? And I went, of course I can, Pugs. I'll do anything to help you, man. And it was literally armfuls of envelopes. Yeah. And all of them, backbone, backbone. I think the reason, Keeza, that people have been winning is because we get so many prizes. We give away so many prizes across the week that you're bound to get it right at some point. It's going to turn up in someone's letterbox. Oh, yeah.

49:51Mike Minogue:I did win that. But it's actually probably meant for someone else. For somebody else. Yeah, right, okay. Yeah, yeah. Did you want me to read the rest of the question? Yeah, what's he got to say? The conglomerate company in question is a phone company. Just wondering how I go about getting in touch with them and tracking down the prize. How would we know? The Hauraki Big Show with Jace, Mike and Keezy. Tune in weekdays at four on Radio Hauraki.

50:20Keyzie:Well, there you go, you mad bastards. That's the big show done and dusted this Wednesday evening. Hope you've enjoyed it. And the podcast outro today, what sort of clip are we running there, Keezy?

50:32Mike Minogue:I'm not sure. The name of the clip is Show. Show. Intel? Can't remember. I've got nothing on that. No, neither have I. Absolutely nothing. We recorded it. We did it for a little while, though, didn't we? Can't remember. Yeah, we banged on for that. That was yesterday. Oh, was it? Yeah, no, we recorded this three hours ago and we've already deleted it from all of our brains. But you should check it out at 7.30 tonight. I think there is something in the idea of you guys doing a road movie together. Yeah, can you imagine? A documentary together. Oh, lordy. Where one of you has to be the navigator.

51:04That's the good bit. Like one of you has to tell the other one, like driving around, which way you're going. And it doesn't matter who's doing that. And it's a map. There's no Google.

51:13Mike Minogue:In a stressful situation. A stressful situation. Not you guys doing the amazing race would just be magnificent. In downtown, like Bangkok or something. Or Auckland or an empty field. Or, yeah, it'd still be stressful. Sounds awesome, fellas. That's right. There's a TV show featuring Jase and our boss, Toddy, working together. Yeah, I'd watch that.

51:34Keyzie:Yeah, well, it's changed a bit in terms of the show. It started off as something else, which I can't talk about on the live radio. but it's now turning into an orienteering. Yes. In a car. That would be good, man. In Bangkok. Yep. It would be quite funny. It would. It would be bloody great.

51:56Mike Minogue:To be honest, I just watch, like, you take Jase, you put him in a car in the middle of Bangkok or, like, in the middle of that big roundabout in Paris. Yep. The Arc de Triomphe one. 100%. And it's an hour long and it's just, hey, just get this car from where you are now to this place over here. But you've also got a thing on you, Jase, where you can sort of, you're live tracking on the screen what your heart rate's doing. Yeah.

52:18Keyzie:I can guarantee you should be going through the roof. What are you doing tonight, Mogan? I'm actually going to do, so I've got a podcast studio, fellas, that I'm building. Nice. So I'm going down there tonight to do some measure up, get the backdrops in there, all that sort of stuff. We're open soon, Keezy. Of course, you do your podcast down there. I do a gaming one. Extremely casual gamers. Yeah. Listen to it wherever you listen to great podcasts. Oh, it's so good. Thanks, man. So we're sort of moving in there on Friday, Keezy. That's exciting. And then over the course of the next week, getting it right.

52:45So, yeah, exciting stuff.

52:47Keyzie:Do you want to know what I'm doing? I just want to know what you're having for dinner.

52:51Mike Minogue:I'm having the rest of the butter chicken I made yesterday for dinner tonight. Nice. How was it? Delicious. Yeah, it's going to be good tonight. Such a good easy recipe, man. Really good. Did you send that recipe to me, Keezy? Okay, fine. I will. But you're going to diss it on the radio. What are you doing tonight, Jase?

53:06Keyzie:I've got my mother-in-law coming over, so we'll probably just have a bit of chitter chat, a bit of herbal tea, have a bit of dinner, you know, that sort of thing. Actually, what we might end up doing is probably having a game of shit. Bye.