FULL SHOW: Keyzie's Birthday Extravaganza

18:13Yeah. Yeah, it was fine. Because traditionally I would like a movie like Banshees of Innesheron. Yes. Speaking of bleak, I watched a movie called Cherry.

18:23Keyzie:Oh, no. With a young actor by the name of Tom Holland. Oh, yes. Spider-Man. Yeah, he's predominantly known best for his Spider-Man movies. Very good actor and a very good performance. The story is basically Cherry drifts from college dropout to army menick in Iraq, anchored only by his one true love, Emily. However, after returning from the war with PTSD, his life spirals into drugs and crime as he struggles to find his place in the world. And I see with interest, actually, that on the old Rotten Tomatoes, it got 33%, which I was genuinely surprised about because it's a very good movie. It's grim, it's full on, and his performance is excellent, particularly his decline into drug addiction with his great love.

19:14Keyzie:Right. And then, of course, being a massive drug addict, having to finance it, which leads to some pretty extraordinary crime doing. Can I just say, Jase, that when you get that 33 % on Rotten Tomatoes, there's two scores that operate. One is for the audience and one is for critics. Okay. So you need to go in there and have a look at it because it's only separated out when you go onto that website. So the critics gave it 37%. Okay. The answers gave it 72%. Okay. Yeah. Once again, it's a really good story. And his performance is excellent. I would recommend it. It's on Apple TV. Go and check it out if you want something bleak and unpredictable and a little bit shocking at times, quite frankly.

20:02I watched the first episode of the manhunt for Osama bin Laden on Netflix. Half of the first episode. You know what happens at the end. Got a feeling But we only watched half of the first episode Yeah Because my wife got tired and we had to go to bed But the starting 10 minutes is all the footage of 9-11 And I have never seen the footage that they use in that show It is full on, like full on close ups of the planes hitting the towers Things like that, that I have never seen over the 20 something years That, and we stopped after half an hour as I said But like, I, yeah What's that on? Netflix. Netflix, cool.

20:42Yeah, that opening 10 minutes was just like, holy cow, you forget about the horror of the event itself. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

20:47Keyzie:It was pretty shocking, for sure. And it has all the audio of the other planes that were getting hijacked one by one, and the audience, not the audience, the passengers, that fought the couple of terrorists and stopped that other one from going into it. Was it United 93 or something? 97, I think. Yeah, yeah. A lot of heroes on that plane. 100%. I've only watched half of the first episode, but it was gripping. Yeah, man, cool. I recommend it on Netflix. Good stuff. Hey, speaking of gripping, after 5 o 'clock, We've got comedian Justine Smith coming in. Why was she gripping? Well, she's just a gripping guest.

21:14Keyzie:Oh, right. Oh, yeah. Okay, cool. The Hauraki Big Show with Jace, Mike and Keezy. Tune in weekdays at four on Radio Hauraki. Welcome back, you massive backbones. Hope you're surviving your Tuesday. It's fair old pissing down here in Auckland City. Let us know how the weather is where you are on 3483. In the meantime, you'll be listening to The Big Show, brought to you by Reburger. Serving good times and good food, Jase. Dine in or take away at Reburger today. Reburger, b***h. Incidentally, if you're just tuning in, it's old Keezy's birthday today, so get on the old text line and wish old Keezy a big old happy birthday.

21:57Well, you don't have to. I mean, it seems a bit needy.

21:59Keyzie:It's just nice to be acknowledged then. Look, people are going to want to say happy birthday. Oftentimes you just don't know it's somebody's birthday, man. But once you do that, oh, man. Well, it's pretty easy to send a text, isn't it? And like... Totally. Huh? When we were organising the guests to come in for, you know, to... Well, that's right. I'm excited. Say nice things about you. They were as keen as... I can give you a clue. The first one. Richie McCaw. So he's the clue. Yeah. So it must be someone who played with him. No. Or was married to him. Gemma McCaw. Yeah. Is coming in to wish me happy birthday.

22:33Yeah. Pretty random. Damn it, that was a good guess. Pretty random. Yeah, I know. I know.

22:38Keyzie:I'll give you another clue. Okay. Stacey Jones. Oh, yeah, Stacey Jones. Okay, so it's a clue to do with Stacey Jones. Oh, no, he's coming in. Oh. Do you know how clues work, Jase? I just realised that. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Damn it. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Well, I'm excited. When are they starting to filter through, fellas? Because it's been an hour. I think it'll be any minute now. Yeah, I just - Because now it's prime time. Yeah, yeah, yeah. We are all good for that, eh, pugs? Yeah, good stuff, mate. Gemma McCaw are coming in. And actually what we're going to do for you, and this is another clue, we're going to get all these stars to come and they're going to do a haka for you.

23:14Led by Gemma McCaw. Wow. That's exactly what I want for my birthday. Thanks, fellas. It's a great honour. Yeah. Here you go. The Hauraki Big Show with Jason Hoyt, Mike Minogue and Keezy.

23:32Keyzie:Pearl Jam there on the radio. The Hauraki Big Show this moist Tuesday afternoon. The time is 14 minutes past five o 'clock. Hey, fellas, as you know, I've been running a swear jar with my daughter. Oh, yeah. Is this one and a half mogis? Yeah, I guess it is. Oh, yeah. Five, six, seven, eight. Man, man, man, man, man, man, man, man, man, man, man, man, man, man, man, man, man, man, man, man, man. Man, man, man, man, man, man.

24:04One and a half Moons to teach So anyway, that's been running for a while. It actually has curtailed my swearing quite a bit. Probably on about ten buck a week now. And what happened to early doors was I would go back to my daughter because she has some behaviours as well that maybe she could be working on too. Why should it just be me? I've never thought about that. And one of the things that she loved to say was it's not fair. It's not fair, this, that and the other. Classic. Of course it is actually very, very fair. You're doing very, very well for yourself. Let's get rid of that saying out of the house.

24:38It's a shocker. And then she immediately got rid of it as soon as it was going to cost her a dollar, as it was costing me a dollar when I swore. She immediately gave it up. So this last week we've chucked in eye rolls for her. She's six. Rolling her eyes back at you. You're right. Like I'll say something, and she rolls her eyes so hard, they disappear on the back of her head. Wow. I didn't know, Jase. Yes. It starts that young, six years old, you're rolling your eyes at me like I'm the biggest idiot on the planet. Are you kidding me? Yeah, man. Was that the same with you and all your daughters?

25:17Keyzie:Oh, absolutely. Absolutely. The eye roll, and it used to do my head in. It'd be like, don't you eye roll at me. young lady. Yeah. That would make me want to eye roll hearing that. And then, but here's, you know what it progressed on to, Moggy, with my youngest now? It's no longer the eye roll. I'll say something and she'll just stare at me. She won't say a word. She won't roll her eyes. She'll just stare at me for about five seconds and then walk away. Yeah. Just in a solemn face? Yeah, just a straight face. She'll stare at me. She might cock an eyebrow or something. Shake her head. Yeah, something like that, and then wander off.

26:02Keyzie:What are the sort of things that you're saying? Don't wander off with me, young lady. What are the sort of things you're saying, though? Oh, I don't know. It'll be something like, you know you have a wardrobe, eh? Oh, yeah. So don't maybe leave all of your clothes all over the bathroom floor. Yeah, yeah. Or, yeah, no, that's all good. Leave that there. We'll pick it up after you. To be fair, if you are just being sarcastic, I'd probably do the same thing at that age. You know there's a recycling bin, eh? Yeah. Yeah, right, okay. That sort of stuff. Yeah. Anyway, I've made about 45 bucks this week, so things are going really well.

26:43The first one that she did, I pulled her up and I said, bang, that's a dollar for me. Dollar for me, because that's what she says. That's a dollar for me, that one. She said, oh, no, that doesn't count. Because I forgot. Oh, yeah, she's got you there, man. It's like, well, if that's the rule we're applying, then I don't owe you anything for the swearing. She's like, damn it. And how staunchly are you going after her funds? You know what I mean? Like, let's say she got 45 in debt tier. Well, it takes it off my total. Yes. Right, so your total is. Absolutely, it takes it off my total. But her ability to change her behaviour is unbelievable when there's a dollar on the line.

27:20Unbelievable.

27:21Keyzie:But also, it's kind of an unfair set-up, really, because you're fully ingrained in your swearing. I am. Over a good 40-odd years. Yeah. Whereas she's just starting the eye rolls. Yeah, exactly right. But what I'm doing is I'm saying some really dumb stuff to get her to eye rolls. Yeah, that's good. Yeah, she is broke. Beautiful. Here's Muse. The Hauraki Big Show podcast. Yes, indeed. Muse there on the radio. Hauraki Big Show this wet Tuesday afternoon. The time, 22 minutes past five o 'clock, and our first guest in, Matt Heath, the legend that is Matt Heath. And Matty, of course, when we got in contact with you with regards to Keezy's birthday, and to come in and say a few kind words, you couldn't wait to get in here, mate.

28:09Keyzie:And we really appreciate it because we've got a whole plethora of people coming in today to wish Keezy all the best. And just to maybe mention a few things that they love about old Keezy. Mate, I wouldn't have missed this for the world I would have crawled across broken glass to be here This means so much to me, Kesey Look, I love you, brother Thank you, man And I'm just honoured to have been invited If I hadn't been invited, I would have kicked the door down To be in here to honour you on your birthday, Kesey Thanks, man, it means a lot You are one of my radio heroes It just seems like you were just stopping by the studio to just say g'day And then Jason Mike sort of just said, hey, can you please jump on it?

28:49What a kick of the guts Are you telling me when was the last time you saw Matt Heath in here in the studio? Oh, ages. Ages, exactly. So you're saying it's a coincidence that he's walked through the door on today, your day of your birthday, when I said that there's going to be special guests? Yeah, I mean, you've got a lot to learn, Keezy. That kind of casual just meandering in like it's not a thing. And that's, you know, Hori J and Minogia, they know how to run the show. It's not all like stage managed with a, you know, like a sheet. It's just like you just saunter by so Keezy doesn't feel awkward.

29:22It may look like you were just walking past the door on the way out.

29:25Keyzie:You played him beautifully. He played it really well. Really good at sauntering. The part that sold it for me was the bit where you went, all right, guys, I'll see you later. And then Jase said, no, no, Matt, stop it. It made me think. You've got to play it so straight. You've got to play it so straight. There's no way that we could have. You would have caught on in a second if I'd rocked over to the mic and looked like I wanted to be here. No surprise in that. And, you know, I remember speaking to Matty last week about getting him in here to, you know, wish you a happy birthday. He got quite emotional, Keezy.

29:55Keyzie:Really? So it is quite hurtful that you think that it's just some sort of casual wandering in from Matty from another studio somewhere. Don't look a gift horse in the mouth. Yeah, right. Okay, sorry. Sorry, fellas. Don't nickel and dime a nice gesture from three people that love you. Yeah, that's true, man. Well, it is a nice gesture. It's lovely for you to stop by, Matt. I'm actually tempted to cancel the other guests now that that's happened. No, no, no. I would say. After this crossy reception, I'll be texting the other guests. Jim McCaw and Stacey Jones. We had Jim McCaw coming in and Stacey, amongst others.

30:25I'm just signaling to Stacey to go. He doesn't want it. I wonder why it bother me, honestly. Okay, well, no, I take it back, fellas. Thank you so much. You guys know that out of everyone that's on Hauraki, I pretty much hate everyone, but Matt Heath was the one guy I liked. So having him come wish me happy birthday means a lot. Thank you so much. Good on you, Matty. The Hauraki Big Show With Jason Hoyt, Mike Minogue and Kesey

30:50Keyzie:Yes indeed, Incubus there on the radio Hauraki Big Show This, well, pretty shithouse Tuesday night It's pissing down But hey, great news We've got a very special guest in the studio with us Comedian Justine Smith G'day mate, how's life? Great mate, you've really scared me a little bit with that high I'm easily scared these days Yes So am I actually I am I get startled all the time So do I Can I ask you, Justine, are you at the age, too, where you sigh all the time? I certainly have started doing that thing that I used to look at my nana and go, what the hell is wrong with that bitch? Of when I get up off a chair and I'm like, oh, yeah.

31:28Keyzie:No, for me, it's just with anything. With anything I'm doing, it's a, you know what I mean? Like a resignation to life. Yeah, of like, this is it now. I've got another question for you there, Justine. And do you wander around and every time you touch a door you get an electric shock? Because Jase does. No, that's weird. That's true. Sometimes it happens to be when I'm in my car and I touch my car door. Yes, yeah. But not that much. You know what it is? Weirdly wired freak. I've figured out what it is. Jase, you're at a stage in your life now where you've stopped walking and you've started shuffling everywhere.

32:00Yeah.

32:00Keyzie:That could possibly, and I've got, you know, quite sort of heavy foamy shoes here. Maybe that's it. But then I got a shock the other day and I wasn't even wearing these shoes. Yeah, he does wear very cheap clothing, though. I think it's a polyester issue. Mine's more I get a shock. I get fright through easy, which is dangerous at my age. Yes, hearts. Wheeze, everything. Even my husband walking down the hall will give me a fright, and I'll go, oh, my God, and he'll go, I live here? I live here. Yes. No, mine's more of getting startled. Yes. Do you, are you of an age now? Of an age. Are you of an age where you use the term of an age?

32:37I'm listening to Coats. I don't give a shit, honestly. I'm 56 and I'm all about it.

32:43Keyzie:Yeah, totally. I'm all about it, apart from the fact I did have to break up with my beanbag because I can get in it. Yes, but you, yeah. But I don't recall the getting out of it involving my elbows, the couch across the lounge. It's not dignified. No, it's not. Your ass is somehow higher than the rest of you for a good 15 seconds. Totally. Hey, now listen, great news. Do you want me to do the admin days? That's just what my wife says to me. It's punishing, mate. Now, listen. All right, mate. How can I not? I can't rip my ears off. Another one is sure. And she'll go, don't say sure to me. Oh, yeah.

33:21Keyzie:She'll go, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. And I'll go, sure. Oh, yeah, no. Don't do that. Jeez, we're not getting on at all, well, you and I, Justine. No, you know what? But listen. More importantly, you're not getting on with your wife. Sure. Hey, Justine Smith. Justine Smith is here because Seven Days Live. You guys are going back around the country doing some stand-up gigs that then transition into an uncut version of the classic panel show. That is so beautifully read off that piece of paper. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Piece of paper, eh, showmate. Piece of paper. Yeah, we are, mate. And, you know, it's not hard to act lyrical about this tour because I look forward to it all year.

33:58Really? As soon as it's finished, I feel sad. Right. And is it because you are, you know, because it's obviously the classics So you've got Di Henwood there, Corby, Paul Ego, Ben Hurley.

34:08Keyzie:Oh, Corby, the granddad of New Zealand comedy. Or as we call him, Jackknife. You know what? We don't call him that, but he tries to get us to do it. Oh, yeah. Yeah, he tries to. You know when he goes, you guys call me Jackknife, we went, nah. No, no way, Corby it is. But is it because I feel this like after the summer holidays, getting back with the fellas here, is it about getting back with the family and just doing the same stuff? It so is, honestly. It really is, you know. I mean, I find it's just so much fun and people go, are you actually in a van all together driving around? Yep, we are.

34:37Really? I'm not driving because we won't see a driving judge by a whole lot of boomer dudes. Not me. Not this guy. Okay? I'm in the back. I may or may not be hungover. But, yeah, we just have such a good time. And it's cheesy, but we are all such good mates. These guys are my hard-out bros. You know, they've always been really nice to me. There's not a pesky one amongst them. Wow, headwood on a bad day. But, you know, I'm so sorry I said that. He's my best friend. I'm kidding. But, yeah, it's just so much fun, and the show's real fun because we know each other so well. You know, there's a whole lot of stuff that happens on stage.

35:10We're on together that's, you know, in jokes that we share, you know, and all that stuff. And it's a lot rougher than a TV show because it's not being recorded. Yeah, and that's almost freeing in a way, isn't it? Yeah. It's like us when we're at a live show, when we occasionally do live shows. You get a bit loose. You do get a bit loose. Yeah, I saw you a couple of years ago do the show over on the North Shore, somewhere, not sure where. I was shocked by the amount of racism. Oh, that's not true. Oh, my absolute love. Listen, we have Josh Thompson, and he's quite brown. He's quite brown. I'm fairly sure he's Tongan.

35:43It sounds like the kind of show you'd be into, Jase. Yeah, totally.

35:46Keyzie:But I tell you what, on a positive note,

35:54Keyzie:there's such a lack of sort of New Zealand shows going on these days, and it's getting less and less. So it's great to see that Seven Days is still carrying the torch, as it were. And we are grateful you're here to get funding. Yes. But it's also one of those things, you know, a live stand-up show is like, it is like a movie, not like music anymore, but it's one of the only things where people aren't allowed to be on their phones. They are not allowed to do it. And so for that hour and a half or whatever, people are like actually united, you know. And I know that sounds highbrow from me talking about my vagina, but, you know, it's like, you know, it's just, it's amazing.

36:29And those big rooms and those big beautiful theatres in New Zealand, it's a treat, man. Oh, good. The show is going around the entire country, 11 shows for tickets, seven days, the number seven, days.co.nz. And before we let you go, Justine, why is it do you think Jase has never been on the show? What a great question. I don't do stand-up comedy. You know, he's one, I mean, Jase is one of the reasons I started doing stand-up comedy. Wow. But unfortunately, Jase went on to brighter pastures and schlepping his ass out to live bloody gigs. Yeah, right, yeah, yeah. So he's moved sideways. Is that, yeah.

37:03Have you ever done a panel show, Jase?

37:05Keyzie:No. Just on that, actually. That's weird, eh? The last show that I did with Justine, I bombed on my ass. Oh, where was that? That was at Queenstown. It was quite funny because I died. It was New Zealand versus Australia. You know, that big debate on the stage. Oh, yep, vaguely. My memory is not good. And I actually had written it out, my whole thing, but I didn't have my glasses. as I couldn't read it. So I was just winging it. Corby sort of helped me out there, but yes. Oh, classic Jack Maas. We got our asses handed to us by the Aussies, by the way. I do not remember that. All I remember is you being brilliant.

37:38Keyzie:Thanks. Hey, get amongst it. Great show. What was that website again, Jase? Seven days, seven, like the number seven. Yeah. .co.nz. .h-h-t-t-p. No, don't mess it up. Come on, get tickets. 7days.co.nz. Get your tickets, Justine Smith. Thanks so much for coming in. Thank you. Can you let me go now? Because it was vaguely threatening. The Hauraki Big Show Podcast. Yes, indeed. MGMT there on the Radio Hauraki Big Show this Tuesday afternoon. Speaking of Radio Hauraki, we've got a legend of Radio Hauraki. We call him the rock. That's old Prebenator, Greg Preble. G'day, Prebs. How are you going, you legend?

38:22Keyzie:Thanks, mate. Great to see you. Wait, wait, just clarify. We call him after the name of our biggest opposition. That's his nickname. Prebonator? Yeah, or Preblo Escobar, yeah. No, the Impregnator. Oh, the Impregnator. But anyway, obviously the reason we got him in, because he's another one of our guests coming on board to wish old Keezy a happy birthday. That's right. And say a few kind words. We couldn't keep you out of the studio, Preb. I'm honoured to be here at this time in the studio with you, Keezy, to say happy birthday, mate. And just so you know, man, when we said that the clue was Richie McCaw and you jumped ahead and said, oh, Gemma McCaw is coming in.

39:00No, it's actually Prebs because Prebs likes watching rugby. That's right.

39:06Keyzie:He's a big rugby fan. Massive rugby fan. And you were saying, you know, when we were chatting, because I gave you a call last week when we were sort of organising all this stuff. This has been on the pipeline for a long time. Yeah, I mean, there's been a lot of work put into it, Prebs, that you couldn't wait to get on board and wish him all the best and say a few kind words about Keezy. I mean, what is it about Keezy that, you know, that... You don't have to do this. That's a positive. Oh, okay. A positive. His jacket's a nice, aren't they? Yeah, actually, yeah, I like the little fluffy woolly bit on the collar there.

39:45Yeah, yeah, yeah. It really brings out your... His jacket's a nice. Fellas, can I just quickly improve? It's great that you're in here. Yeah. I'm getting a real sense that this birthday extravaganza you guys have promised me. Oh, my God. Hang on. If you start bagging me, I'm going to be fear. No, no, no, no. Are you saying I'm not an honoured guest? No, you 100 % are, and I'm stoked. It's just that we had Justine Smith in before, who the guy said was part of my birthday thing. She didn't even say happy birthday. Yeah. It seemed like she was more here to plug the seven days live show. Right. That was just a happy coincidence.

40:15Right. It was like Matt Heath coming in earlier on. It just happened, you know, it seemed like it was a coincidence, but it took a lot. It takes a lot of planning to make these things look like they're an accident.

40:25Keyzie:You know what I mean? It's actually making it look like an accident that's the most work as opposed to actually organising them coming in. Right. Yeah. Matt was outside pacing around before he came in. Yeah, he was a little bit early. Dying in some shirts for a speaking gig he's got tonight. Yeah. Because I thought he was coming over to use our clothes steamer thing. Yeah. And also, I don't think it's hard to organise for Prebs to come in because he's just literally sitting in the office out there. Yeah, but he was going to go home early tonight. Oh, really? Yeah. Yeah, he was. And, you know, I've known Prebs a long time and he's a backbone.

41:00Keyzie:I've never seen him pacing the office like he was today. Greg was pacing too. Yeah, because he was so nervous about coming in and wishing, oh, geez, a big happy birthday. Right, okay. And this is 100 % true, Greg? Sure. All right, fine, I believe it. Thank you for coming in, man. Best birthday ever. Happy birthday, Keezy. Thanks, Greg. The Hauraki Big Show with Jason Hoyt, Mike Minogue and Keezy. Led Zeppelin there on the radio, Hauraki Big Show this Tuesday afternoon. The time is five minutes to six o 'clock, which means it's time for... We're off to find the pretty of the day. That's right, every single day in the lead up to Beer Vana, which is this weekend, by the way, Friday and Saturday.

41:47Crazy. We feature a different brewery from across New Zealand and sometimes Aussie. Today's brewery, Fielers, is Dr. Rudy's. Dr. Rudy's is more than just a name. It's a tribute to a true Kiwi legend, a Kiwi-owned brewery with a love for great beer and deep respect for the roots that make it all possible. naming their beer Rudys is our way of honouring the man who gave them the hops and the hope to brew something truly special. Catch Dr. Rudys this Friday and Saturday at Beervana and Wellington. Tickets available at beervana.co.nz. Sounds good, man.

42:22Keyzie:Yeah, that's really good. Speaking of good, Keezy's birthday guests continue after 6 o 'clock. Are we doing Team Miss Tuesday? On the WARS? Oh yeah, it's a good idea. That is a good idea. Yeah, we'll be doing that. Yeah, that comes out in four minutes' time. So that's interesting. Beautiful. The Hauraki Big Show with Jase, Mike and Keezy. Tune in weekdays at four on Radio Hauraki. Welcome back, you massive backbones. You are listening to The Big Show brought to you by Reburger. I love Reburger, eh, fellas? Same. Yeah, yeah. Beef, chicken, vegan and vegetarian options available. Reburger, redefining the norm.

42:56Reburger. So good.

42:58Keyzie:Fellas, I don't know if you're getting the same vibe. Of course, we've got a live show at Parrot Dog and Lyle Bay on Thursday. Wellington. In Wellington there. I think it's going to be massive. Yeah. I hope not. The thing about it is, I lived in Wellington for nigh on 20 years, and so I've got some people down there that tell me that they're expecting it to be bigger than Beervana. Well, we're down there to promote Beervana. I know. My wife said to me today that a couple of friends of my daughters are coming to the show as well. Right. Yeah, it's... It's going to be huge. Yeah. So you better get in there quick smart.

43:36By quick smart, do you mean 4 p.m. Thursday at Parrot Dog? I'd make it a little bit earlier. I'd make it like 3. Yes. To be fair, the tables do get sort of filled up. I hope, and actually we need to check out on this, no booking tables. You want to be at the table, you get your ass down there. There's no booking a table, and I'll see you at 5 o 'clock. You get there early or you don't bother. Agreed. You can come in later, you stand up the back. Yeah. All right? Yeah. But yeah, it is going to be huge. It is going to be huge. They've got a marquee set up down there, and that's a pretty good sign, I reckon.

44:08We've never had that for the big show. Put it that way. No. We've never had that. A marquee, yeah. And we have had some huge shows where people have lined up out the door. We've had some pretty raucous events where it's times Jase has fared for his life, and I think this is going to be one. Oof.

44:22Keyzie:I'm actually a bit scared. Yeah, I am a bit scared too, but that was because you were encouraging people to slap my ass, Mogey, on that particular occasion. Won't be the last time. That was funny though. That was to get back at you for something though. You had done something to annoy me. Me? Yes. Oh, was it you that got people to do that? No, it was Mogi. It was like if you wanted a beer table, you had to go up and hug you. No, slap me on the arm. That's right. No, you said something about, oh, if you want a backbone shirt, something to keys you're really annoying. And so we did that and then that one took off.

44:51It really did, yeah. Even on the urinal.

44:54Keyzie:Hey, coming up Teamless Tuesday. I thought we were doing birthday guest in next. Oh, at some point. Definitely at some point, yeah, yeah, yeah. Oh, okay. You just have to wait and see. Yeah, okay, cool. Here's Oasis. The Hauraki Big Show with Jason Hoyt, Mike Minogue and Keezy. Smashing pumpkins here on the radio. Hauraki Big Show this Tuesday evening. Let's have some Waz chat. Time to chat footy with me, Keezy. What are the Warriors up to? Ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah. The Waz are taking on the Gold Coast Titans. 7.30 Saturday night. That is prime time viewing here in New Zealand.

45:35First game, I believe, on the Saturday night there for the Aussies. Actually, I didn't even double check that. I'm just saying that out loud. Yeah, sure. They're taking on the Titans, who are bad, have been bad for a long, long time. However, they are also a team. They got pumped by 50-odd over the weekend. However, they are a team that can also put 50 on a random team at any random point. Well, case in point, Hoity Jane, you'll know this, brother. Last year, this very same fixture resulted in a 66-6 victory to the Titans. Oh my God, that's right. They absolutely pummeled the shit out of us. It was the worst defeat the Warriors had ever suffered by a terrible team at the time.

46:12Yeah, absolutely. They continue to be terrible and yet, and yet. Good news for the Waz, Charles Nicol Klukstar returns at fullback. He had been playing centre for a wee while there. The reason why he's gone back is because Rocco Berry is now back in the centre. Fingers crossed he can stay fit and healthy Of course, we lost Jackson Ford to suspension. He is no longer in the side. What did he do? Was a crusher tackle. But he unfortunately won't be playing for the Waz for the rest of the regular season, which means we're a little light on middles there. But you've got Kurt Capewell back playing in the back row, which is good.

46:45Dimitrik Vimonga is now starting at prop. Yeah, so that's a big one for him. He has got many caps under his belt. He's a young fella, so starting prop is a big ask for him. It'll be interesting to see how many minutes he gets. and of course, Kurt Capewell returns from a concussion, doesn't he? Yeah, he does, yeah. Which is good. We need a bit more experience out there. We're lacking at the moment. And the other big news was Tamari Martin, who was ruled out with a concussion last week after being swapped into the starting side as one of the preferred halves in the halves pairing. He has a history of concussion that saw him at one point be medically retired.

47:18So when he got concussed, I assumed he would be out for the rest of the season. He had a brain bleed and couldn't play any contact sport ever again. It was a few years ago. He's been named to come off the interchange at 14 there in the utility position. I wouldn't be surprised, Mogi, if he ends up starting over Tanner Boyd and then they bring Sam Healy in off the bench. I don't know. It's just a vibe. Yeah, that's right. Just a vibe. Or, you know, you look at the reserves there and you've got Sam Healy in there as well. Maybe if they're not happy with Tomari Martin, you might see a complete rejig.

47:48Maybe. And Sam Healy ends up going on the interchange. We don't know, James. We just don't know, man. You look, man, we're just spitballing here, brother. We don't know. But I'll tell you what. You know, you can say what you like about the Titans, but they love getting up against the Waz. They always find a way to win, even though they suck. But, man, we are just absolutely pummeled by injuries. And to be honest, if we win, it'll be incredible. The same as last week. Yeah. If we win this, it will not be pretty. That will not be pretty. Oh, no, yeah, yeah, yeah. Great stuff, fellas.

48:18Keyzie:I'll be sure to tune into that. Hey, just quickly, are there any more? Because you said Stacey Jones was coming in. One more, Keezy. Just? Just trust us, buddy. For my birthday extravaganza. Yeah, yeah. Well, it's just that you promised Stacey Jones was coming in for my birthday and we're getting close to it. We're just, just. Okay. It's all good. Okay. Just because we're getting close to the end of the show. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Okay, all right. The Hauraki Big Show Podcast. Tom Petty there on the radio. Hauraki Big Show. Just holding on old Tom Petty, isn't he? What do you mean? He's dead.

48:49Keyzie:He just won't. No, I don't mean in terms of us playing his music. Well, yeah, he's the man. He is the man. He's totally the man. He's just clinging on by his fingernails. We should change the name to Radio Petty. Hey. Not a bad idea, actually. You know what I mean? What, you changed the whole station? Whole station, yeah. Which has been known as hodaki. Yeah, so people know what they're getting. And what they're getting is petty. There's a whole lot of petty. You're listening to the big show on Radio Petty. That sounds sick. Hey, now, speaking of sick, our good mates at Hirehabe are back on board.

49:18Keyzie:So if you need stuff done around the house, listen up. Yeah, listen up to old Mogey. Yeah, man. And so what I was going to say to you is if you've got anything that needs to be done around your house, and let's be honest, man, who doesn't? Yeah. Who doesn't? I mean, I know, Keezy, you're still planning to build your deck, but you had to put it on pause for all of winter. I decided to flag it, yeah. Yeah, flagging it so you can get your dad to come up and help you with it. Yeah. But imagine if you had hire a hubby. Yeah. You wouldn't care if it was raining, man. Bugger him. Get out there and build my deck.

49:48Am I right? Build my deck, yeah. That's right. So all you have to do is send us through any little job that you've got, and Keezy's going to let you know how you do that shortly. Nice. But, yeah, and then you go in the drawer. Mate, you could have Hairahubby coming around. Not only Hairahubby are going to come around and do a bang-up job of any kind of renovations or little jobs you've got around the house. The big show will come around and then completely bugger it up. Yeah, we'll come around and help. The way you enter that, Mike, is you go to hodaki.co.nz to get in the drawer, sign up there, tell us what needs doing.

50:19Do doing. And then we'll be doing a bit of a lucky dip, a bit of a drawer scenario. Is that how it works? Yeah, man. Lucky dip. We're doing a bit of a draw scenario, and then the winner will get us and Hire a Hubby coming around to help out. Need a quote, Jay? Search Hire a Hubby. They're just a call or a click away. Hire a Hubby. You don't need to write it down. We've been working with them. Call or click. Yeah. How about these four ideas, people that need help, fellas? Andrew in Stratford needs a woodshed built or a fence built or both, just whatever suits. Okay. Yeah, that was good and specific.

50:53I think you need to paint a picture if you're going to send in these applications, right? Yeah, give us some real details. Yeah, if you just vaguely build an extension on my house or whatever I can get for free. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

51:04Keyzie:I tell you what, fellas, I just couldn't do without my man shed. Wait, is that what you keep or your man? Your men. My man. What do you have a man shed for? What do you have other than buggered up weed editors? It's mostly stock car parts, tools and fertilizer and penthouses. So pornos, fertilizer and stock car parts. Yes. What parts have you got under there? Just hubs in there. Hubs? And stickers in there. Yeah. So random. A couple of roll bars. Roll bars. Yeah. So Andrew, he wants a woodshed or a fence. I'd go woodshed. Sounds easy. just a few posts and a bit of a lid on it, you know, and some sides on it.

51:48Keyzie:Thank God you're not doing it, Keezy. Boy, oh boy. Whereas the fence is too full on. You should be a franchisee. Hauraki.co.nz, get yourself in the drawer. They are looking for franchisees, Mogi. Good shout there, man. So get in touch if you're keen. A bit of wood with a lid on it. The Hauraki Big Show with Jason Hoyt, Mike Minogue and Keezy. Fat boy Slim there on the radio. Our Hauraki big show this Tuesday evening. And for those of you that don't know this, it's Keezy's birthday today. And Maggie and I have been planning over the last week and a half getting special guests in to pay tribute.

52:25I've been bloody exhausted, man.

52:27Keyzie:Oh, man, I'm mad. I came back from overseas holiday. Then I'm straight at the following weekend. I've got to move house. I've got to plan your bloody birthday. You've been great, Jase. Thanks, man. But, you know, there's a lot of work. There's a lot going on. Can I just say before, are we having a guest here? Is that what's happening? Well, this is a big one. Well, okay, can I just say that all the planning and the exhaustion and stuff, we've had Matt Heath, who's in the building. One of, you know, your heroes in radio. Oh, 100%. So we thought, well, we've got to get on one of Keezy's heroes. So ta-da, there you go, man.

52:55And then Prebs, who's just sort of out there. Well, you're forgetting Justine Smith. Justine Smith, one of the great comedians in New Zealand, one of the great female stand-ups. Totally, who you find very funny. I love Justine Smith, but it seemed like she was more here just to plug Seven Days Live. I know, that's the way we made it happen, mate. Yeah, we made it happen. Right, okay. And then Prebs, of course, one of the great veterans. Well, he doesn't just work here. He's a legend of radio. Thank you. He's a legend of radio here in New Zealand. So you've had three absolute legends through the door.

53:23Not bad, man. Not bad. Yeah, no, totally. Now, for this next guest, yes. I was just going to say, for this one, Keezy, we're going to need you to close your eyes. I was going to say, can you close your eyes? Okay, now just see. Right, because just for the audience, there's no one in here right now. It's just us. Yes. Yeah, okay. Yes. Okay. Just listen to this voice and see if you recognise it. Oh, happy birthday, Keezy, man. Do you know who that is? I mean, it sounds like Pugs. It sounds like Pugs. You're correct. Open your eyes. Yeah, there he is. Yeah. Oh, g'day, man. Happy birthday, brother.

54:01Are you kidding me? Are you kidding me? Pugs. Oh, Pugs, son, eh? Yeah, yeah. Hey, one of your great mates. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

54:08Keyzie:One of your gaming buddies. No, I love folks. Yeah, man. 100%. Yeah, so what have you got to say to Keezy on his birthday, man? I'm just getting a call on I-800. Well, that's the problem. He's not even in the studio. He's just in the - Sorry, Keezy. I just need a - Sorry. And the headphones in here don't work. Yeah, they're not great. Oh, no, they've gone. Just happy birthday, man. Yeah. Totally. See that, man? Stoked to work with you on the show. I'm getting quite emotional, actually. I don't know about you, Moggy. He's got away with words, man. You've got to give it to him. I tell you what, cut straight to the heart of things.

54:39Keyzie:He's got a big future in front of him. I would have come in, but I've got to do the podcast. Well, that's the thing. He doesn't even want to be here. He's halfway through doing the podcast. This isn't a birthday celebration. Oh, man. You're going to fire up, man. Listen, man, for me to be in Studio B and then come on the microphone? Come on, man. You did what to the microphone? I'm kind of regretting this a little bit, actually. Honestly, man. It's just that I was promised Stacey Jones. Well, sorry, I forgot about the clue. Yeah. The way Stacey Jones comes into it is because I said to Pugs, name one player that played for the Warriors, and he said Stacey Jones.

55:18It's the only one he knows. Right. And then you told me, here's a clue. Yeah, Stacey Jones. Stacey Jones is coming in. Stacey Jones is the only player that your next guest knows that has played for the Warriors. It took a long time for me to figure that out. Right. Well, look, thanks, fellas. What a birthday extravaganza. extravaganza. Have you got any stingers you can play to sort of spice it up, like some applause? Sorry, I've just got to work on the podcast. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Happy birthday and stuff, man. Yeah, it's cool, man. Thank you. All good. Thanks for that. Happy birthday to you. Happy birthday to you.

55:54You're not supposed to sing yourself. Happy birthday, dear kids. Keezy. The Hauraki Big Show Podcast.

56:11Keyzie:Well, there you go, you mad bastards. Big show done and dusted. Has it been special, Keezy? Has it been a special day for you, mate? I hope so. Yeah, I mean, I'll be honest, guys. I feel bad because I had my expectations up really high for my birthday extravaganza. And now that I've stepped back and seen what you guys were able to organise, I actually am really grateful. Yeah. When I really think about it, those are the people. I wouldn't have chose those exact people, but that just goes to show that you guys know me better than I even know myself. Sure, sure. And if you've missed Kesey's birthday extravaganza, why not check out the podcast?

56:45Extravaganza is the right word.

56:46Keyzie:Yeah, it's been... Listen to my voice. I've been quite emotional today. It's been extravaganza. Extravaganza. So that's, yeah, you're dead right, Moggy. So yeah, thanks so much, man. I can't wait. It's a shame it's 364 days until my next one. It is a shame, but we're starting planning tomorrow. Don't worry about that. Lesson learned there. Hey, speaking of podcasts, what was the clip today from the podcast outro there, Keezy? I think it was to do with my plan for my birthday, actually. No, yesterday I was going to my favourite restaurant. I'm going to order a bottle of wine, delicious red wine of some sort.

57:18Get smashed a bit. My wife will have half a teaspoon of it because she doesn't get on the piss, and then I'll drink the rest of it. Yeah. And then annoy you for the rest of the night. Then annoy you for the rest of the night and then get home and try it on. We'll both be too full and I'll be hushed. Yeah, that's a good one when you're too full. Responsibly to all of the above. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Too full. You get it, man. Yeah. Has that not happened to you? No, yeah. I'm too full, man.

57:42Keyzie:Yeah, for sure it has. Yeah. For sure it has. It's like, oh, you know what? I'm actually too full. And she's like, oh, man. I'd love to, babe, but I'm too, oh, what? Oh, come on, man. Oh, come on, dude. Happy birthday, Keezy. Good on you, mate. Thanks, Jase. Big show tomorrow, actually. Make sure you tune in because I think we've got the legend Jimmy Barnes on the show. One of the all-time greats. He would have been mad for my extravaganza. Nah. Nah, he was originally booked for today and we said, no, no, we've got a whole bunch of special guests lined up. No room for Jimmy. Right, okay. Yeah, nah, that makes sense.

58:18Come on, yeah. What's that? Thanks, mate. Thanks, New Zealand. We'll see you tomorrow. Thank you.