FULL SHOW: Keyzie's Dinner Theme

8:40It's so unbelievable.

8:40Mike Minogue:It's amazing. It's so typically Kiwi, though.

8:44Keyzie:Classic. We're known for our innovation. We are. And apparently it all came about because one of the engineers was standing there and they were trying to plot out where to put it, and he went, what about underground?

8:56Mike Minogue:Yeah. That's right. And then they all lifted him up on their shoulders and celebrated like the old El Paso. Yeah, yeah. They're like, great idea. Yeah. But a really exciting stat is that at one point, the city rail link goes 42 metres beneath the city. Wow. Yeah. And so with that in mind. And the thing is, Kesey, it doesn't even need to go that deep. They just did it because they could. Wow. Yeah. So with that in mind, we've invented a new game.

9:20Keyzie:What else is 42 metres? What the hell is? They're just getting better and better, aren't they? They just.

9:30Mike Minogue:I mean, that reeks to me of pugs being asked to make a sting with about five minutes spare. But what else is 42 metres, fellas? It's a fun new game. Yeah. Do you want to start us off? Yeah. Well, as we said, you know, 14 stories, that's a great way to measure it. This one here, 93 human femurs end to end. Oh, which is the bone in your neck? The bone that goes from your hip down to your knee. Not how many of them? 93 human femurs.

9:57Keyzie:There'd probably be about 180 Hoity J ones. Probably. Got a very small femur.

10:03Mike Minogue:I've been looking up other amazing things in history that are 42 metres. Yep. The car park of the Sydney Opera House. Wow. Car park of the Sydney Opera House. Goes 42 metres below the ground. Below the ground? Really? Same thing, yeah, but it's a car park. Wow. 10 ,500 tic-tacs. End to end. End to end. That's lengthwise, Jase. Not with So that really puts it in perspective Well it's mind boggling isn't it

10:341 ,050 Little boys You know those little Cheerio sausages

10:38Mike Minogue:Oh so not human boys No no no That would be a weird measurement 1 ,050 cocktail sausages Yeah you're right

10:47Keyzie:1 ,400 chicken nuggies

10:52Mike Minogue:Is that real? Yeah

10:55Keyzie:Totes, man.

10:56Mike Minogue:End to end or like stacked? End to end. This is an interesting fact. The Titanic. Yes. The height from keel to the top of the funnels is around 53 metres. Well, that's completely different. So it's 11, yeah, it's 11 metres. It's 10 metres out. Sorry. Way out of whack. Sorry, it's really hard to find stuff that's 42. 84, 84 now. Possums, nose to anus. Or I guess you could go nose to nose, but it just would mean that it would be anus to anus. So it's not like the tails aren't... The tails don't count. No, no.

11:33Keyzie:Because the tail length varies so well. Yeah, they're superfluous. Yeah, right, okay. It's just the anus and the... Oh, this is an interesting one. One 42-metre-long tapeworm. That is interesting.

11:49Mike Minogue:Are you guys excited to ride it? Pardon? The Hauraki Big Show with Jace, Mike and Keezy. Tune in weekdays at 4 on Radio Hauraki.

11:59Keyzie:Big there on the Radio Hauraki Big Show this glorious Monday afternoon. The time is 20 minutes to 5 o 'clock. Obviously over the weekend, fellas, a huge match. Huge expectations. The Wars v. the Dolphins for the first final match, first semi-match there. And the nation was on. It was holding its breath. Let me put it that way. Now, to dissect this particular match, we needed a professional, a rugby league legend. And with that in mind, we've got Charlie Gubbin. Gubby, Gubby, Gubby, Gubby. It wasn't to be, mate. Fellas, let's unpack it. It wasn't to be. But it honestly still doesn't feel real that we lost that one.

12:47I thought we were just physically dominated, you know, for 60 minutes. but we didn't score enough points, which sounds obvious. But I think in hindsight, we can put it down to continuously taking the two points. Thank you. I think it's all right to go from, you know, to go two points ahead or to go eight points ahead. But I think looking back versus team versus Dolphins, you can't just leave off two points on five different occasions from in front of the post. That's right, mate. I'd agree with you there. I was having a chat about it earlier on with Kesey. I think we got the most points across the season, averaging about 30, and I think the Dolphins averaged about 24, 25, or something like that.

13:31And going up by two points at a time, it just sort of told me that the Waz were nervous, and you would never have found them doing that in any other game across the year. And I think if they could do it all over again, that would be the obvious place to start. Yeah, I reckon if you asked them pregame, they wouldn't do it either. but when those points were just presented to them, it was almost like Dolphins were giving it to them and then licking their lips when the Warriors were taking it because they get a one-minute break and then they get to kick the ball back down your end. Dolphins were always going to score a couple of long-range tries but, man, it hurts looking back because we were very dominant through the middle.

14:09We just lacked a lot of polish. We didn't build any pressure on their goal line because of that because we were taking the two points. and then even little bits we defended with 11 players for a while. Yeah. And I think, you know, Big Laban got super fatigued. He was gassed. He was gassed, but like he was doing multiple people's work and then he got put into the mill, which I think if they had their time again, they'd probably give him a rest because that was when they scored their long range try. You know, Ali Laotawa didn't push up with him and then the hammer took him on the outside and went the whole way.

14:43Yeah, that's right. Absolutely did him there. And the other thing with Laban was you had Jackson Ford, who was gone for the rest of the game, and then you're losing that rotation, aren't you? You are. It was just like a lot of things went wrong, but the effort was all there. I mean, I'm definitely gutted for them, but it just means we've got to take the scenic route now. We could hopefully sell out Eden Park, get the Knights over here, whose left edge is super dangerous as well, but they're not they're not much chop without Saifidi through the middle yeah

15:14Mike Minogue:true that Charlie g'day Keezy here man hope you're well I'm well Keezy I'm gonna be honest man I need you to pet me up a bit man just cause I'm feeling quite down buzz you know what I mean bro I feel down buzz too I think it's natural you know but we we gotta get back up cause those are our guys we didn't we didn't come this whole year you know calling each other so we can spit the dummy you know when things don't go our way You're totally right, Gabby. We've just got to get back up, brother. Okay, I'll stop dropping Lippin. Yeah, come on, man. Just munna up. All right, fair enough. Well, as you say, looking ahead to the Knights, Eden Park, man, as you say, if we could sell out the premier stadium in New Zealand where Rugby Union is usually played, get everyone there absolutely hissing, do you expect the Waz to come out and really bounce back?

16:03Mike Minogue:And one of the things they've been good at is adjusting to things, and do you expect them to bounce back and adjust this coming weekend? I definitely think they will this weekend. We've been the top team all year. We should have beaten the Dolphins. We played better than most of the game. We just did not come away with points. I think it just came down to decision-making and a bit of execution. Our wingers never really got good ball. It was just a little bit sloppy, but Dolphins didn't look super dangerous versus us. We just had a couple of minor lapses and that let them back in the game and come down to those small moments.

16:38So I think we'll beat the Knights, but obviously it's a lot harder now. We've just played a tough game. We're going to play a tough game versus the Knights and then we're going to have to travel to Sydney and play the Panthers who are coming off a week off. But anything is possible with this Warriors team.

16:54Keyzie:Yeah, well, I mean, just on that, I mean, Sean Johnson was talking about the stuff you fellas were talking about, you know, having another team under pressure, you know, dominating all that time. and if you don't score points, that has a psychological effect on you. You know what I mean? It's like a double-edged sword. It's like we've been pumping these guys and yet we're only four points ahead. What's that about? Exactly, brother.

17:17Mike Minogue:It's that psychological warfare, that torture. Good point, Jase. Thanks, mate. Thanks, fellas. Hey, Charlie, before we let you go, man, obviously, Portaking, the company you run down there in Wellington, which is the nation's premier Port-a-Loo supplier, Every week they sponsor unofficially the Portaking player of the round, man. Who are you putting forward this week? I'm going to give it to Fisher Harris. I thought he was huge, and I think he's going to be the reason that we're going to get back up. His standards ain't going to drop. He's going to get everyone up around him. Awesome, fellas. It's been really good wrapping this one up, talking actual footy.

17:55Yeah, man. Yeah, totally, man. I love it.

17:57Mike Minogue:I love it. No silly buggers. We'll see you next week, Charlie. Up the waz. Up the waz, brother. Let's pack out the cakedon. What do they call it up there? No, the cakedon. Yeah, cakedon.

18:09Keyzie:Something like that, man.

18:10Mike Minogue:Made in park.

18:11Keyzie:Good on you, Gabby. Take care. See you, mate. Here's in. Kibbis.

18:16Mike Minogue:The Hauraki Big Show. Weekdays from four on Radio Hauraki.

18:20Keyzie:Yes, indeed. Push, push there on the Radio Hauraki Big Show this Monday afternoon. The time is 4.53. Let's talk TV. What's on the telly with Mike Minogue.

18:36Keyzie:Yeah! That's right. Hey, yesterday, fellas, I was feeling a bit under the weather. I thought I might have caught that flu that's been going around. Right, yeah. But I feel much better today. Oh, thank God. And I think I'll be even better tomorrow. So anyway, as a result, I was just lying on the couch. And I've been watching the new season of Alone. This one's in the Arctic Circle, Keezy. And they have some of the best survivalists from all around the world come together in the Arctic Circle and battle it out. only they battle it out alone and against nature. What's really cool about it is they've got a whole bunch of bears and shit.

19:09Yeah. Is this the one that's sap me? And who what? Sap me. No, no, it's not. They haven't given it a name, just said it's the Arctic Circle. But bears and all sorts of...

19:19Mike Minogue:Like live bears, not drinky bears. Yeah, no. God, can you imagine that? A whole bunch of bears sitting there waiting for you. But no, black bears and brown bears, all sorts of bears. So they could literally be killed. It's not just cold. like Tasmania you can literally be killed so interesting stuff you get to take X amount of things along with you one of the guys was an American fella an Olympic gold medalist in wrestling a real punisher a lovely guy but just gruelling he'd be hard work down at the pub that sort of a guy but what I loved about him was he was very aware in himself that he needed to be careful because he has a habit of leaving shit lying around he's a mogie he is and I said to my wife oh my god I never thought about that element of it what would it be like for me to be over there.

20:02I'd lose everything all the time.

20:03Mike Minogue:So, yeah, you brought all your survival stuff and it's like, hang on, where's my hatchet? Oh, where did I put that? Where did I put that? And so, anyway, he had this thing that starts fires. It's like a flint. Yeah. And he tied it to his belt because he was like, if I lose this, I know I'm in deep trouble and I know what I'm like, so that's what I'm going to do. Then he cooks a fire and he's having a little feast there and while he's sitting there, this flint that is on the rope is sitting in the fire. So he completely burns through it. It ruins this thing, completely buggers it, and that's him done.

20:35He can't start fires. So he's like, I don't know what to do. I don't know how to start a dry fire. I don't know how to do that. And he's just, and he'd been talking so much smack. Oh, I represent America. We're the best in the world. I don't know what that's got to do with it, but anyway. And so that was him done and dusted. He was gone.

20:52Mike Minogue:That is so funny. It was great. It was so funny.

20:55Keyzie:I loved it. I loved it too because he was he was talking smack and he was and he was even going so far as to say you know I know a lot of the young fellas here they'll be seeing things on YouTube and you know and how to do it on YouTube it's different out in the real world it's different you know and it's just and then he burnt his flint and then he didn't know how to make fire so he's like ah I'm out of here it was really really good it's on TVNZ Plus I'm over the moon to have discovered this show it's such a treat where you find something that's like, oh, there's all of these seasons that you get to watch now.

21:29Yes. I absolutely love it. It's four and a half buzzies. It's just brilliant.

21:33Mike Minogue:Because my wife loves stuff like that. Yeah, it's really good. But I try to limit my reality TV watching. Well, I don't watch any. I don't watch any reality TV. But the reason this is good is because there's no, it's not like even Survivor where people are talking behind each other's back and there's all that sort of stuff going on and whatever. This is just literally, if you bugger this up, you're dead. Yeah. And these guys, there's a kid off from Hokitika there. He's 24 years old. Yeah. 24 years old this guy is. Yeah, it's fantastic.

22:04Keyzie:And they just drop him in the Arctic Circle. That's right. And he's loving it. Yeah, he loves it. He's never been happier. Never been happier. Well, funnily enough, I was watching Alone yesterday, the final of when they were in Sapnin, which I think is in Finland. Sounds like Alaska or something. Oh, right. And this one is brutal. Great. Because all they can really eat, because they can't hunt anything, so they can only eat fish and mushrooms and berries pretty much. That's all the food there is. And there's all these reindeer walking around, and you've got dudes starving to death going, like literally 20 metres from them, going, oh.

22:44Keyzie:Are they allowed to? No, they're not allowed to hunt the reindeer, so they just go, oh, God, I'm so hungry. And there was one, I've got to say this, because this guy's a backbone, he was a young fella, hadn't eaten for 23 days anything other than berries and mushrooms. Yeah. He catches a fish, and he's like, oh, thank God. Thank God. Oh, I need protein. And he reels it in, and it's a brown trout. But they have to be 50 centimetres long, and this is like 30 or 40 centimetres. And he's like, oh, no, no. And he lets it go, and you just go, oh, you poor. Oh, poor bastard. It's great stuff.

23:27Mike Minogue:Well, I'm going to have to watch this now. Yeah, you do. It's a great show. Start with the one in Tasmania. Yes. It's brilliant. Okay. Coming up after five, actually, sticking with TV, the announcement for the theme for Keezy's Come Dine With Me, which is happening this weekend.

23:39Keyzie:Yeah, man.

23:40Mike Minogue:I'm up next, fellas. Bloody excited.

23:41Keyzie:Very much looking forward to this.

23:46Mike Minogue:The Hauraki Big Show with Jace, Mike, and Keezy. Tune in weekdays at four on Radio Hauraki.

23:51Keyzie:Welcome back, you massive backbones. Hope you're surviving your Monday. You are listening to The Big Show, by the way, brought to you by Reburger.

23:59Mike Minogue:Craveworthy street food freshly made by Reburger. Reburger.

24:05Keyzie:Yeah, man. There's something really nice you mentioned just before, Moggy, you had a good night on Saturday night. I did. Going into the Sunday morn. Yep. There is something about the abandonment of a Sunday, isn't there? Oh, yeah. You know what I'm saying? lying on the couch there, your hand down your trackies, just, you know, farting away, eating food, watching TV, just not doing anything. 100 % that's you, that's you done. You're just waiting for the evening to roll around so you can go back to bed. Yeah, yeah, totally.

24:37Mike Minogue:Only if you don't have any responsibilities. Yes. You know, if you've got a clear runway to be a sack. Yeah. You know, but if you've got stuff to do, then it can be hell. And now and again, Keezy, that's the thing, you can't do it every weekend, mate, and that's what you forget, I think. Yeah, yeah. Who, me? No, I'm chill, man. Now, did I do that yesterday? Yes, I did. Did you? Yeah.

24:55Keyzie:Your wife is just an absolute saint.

24:59Mike Minogue:She is. Thank you.

25:00Keyzie:She's a backbone, man. She is. Thank you. Old Keezy there just on the couch ripping ass.

25:06Mike Minogue:Actually, no, that's not true at all. We spent a large portion of yesterday doing preparations for this weekend's Come Dine with me. Did you really? Oh, did you? Wow. That must have been difficult with the hangover, was it? What I said to her was, tell you what, let's rip and do it afterwards. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

25:21Keyzie:Did she make you some sammies again?

25:23Mike Minogue:No, no, I had a big old bowl of noodles for lunch, spicy noodles, and I was ready to go.

25:28Keyzie:Right, okay.

25:28Mike Minogue:But hey, speaking of come down with me, this weekend it's my turn to host you guys. We've had Mogies, we've had Jace's. It's now Keezy's turn. Today I'll be announcing the theme.

25:37Keyzie:Yeah.

25:38Mike Minogue:And then later in the week I'll tell you the menu. Okay, very exciting. We'll get Pugs in for it as well. Yeah, good stuff, mate. I'm fired up, fellas. In the meantime, here's Kings of Leon. The Hauraki Big Show with Jace, Mike and Kesey. Tune in weekdays at four on Radio Hauraki.

25:54Keyzie:Yes, indeed, G-Hard there on the Radio Hauraki Big Show this Monday afternoon. The time is 5.16. Let's talk Come Dine with the Fellas. Come Dine with the Fellas.

26:09Mike Minogue:Yeah, that's right. We have had two Come Dine With Me specials. Mogi was first a couple of months ago, hosted the Fellas there, made an entree, a main, a dessert, and a form of entertainment, hosted us all at his house. We then scored him. Hoity J, you were the last one. Yes. You did a late winter Christmas. Yeah, man. I should say it was Hot Pot Mogeys was the theme. Yeah, Hot Pot Mogey. You did a late winter Christmas there. Once again, entree, main, dessert, bit of entertainment as well. Did Secret Santa. It was very entertaining. It's my turn, fellas, and this thing is huge. It's huge. It's a lot of work, and after seeing what you guys have done, it really has put the pressure on.

26:47Mike Minogue:So, oh, by the way, PugSan's here.

26:49Keyzie:Ooh, it's PugSan.

26:53Mike Minogue:G'day, fellas. Thanks for having me. G'day, Pugs. Appreciate it. The theme for Keezy's Come Dine With Me is you simply must.

27:05Mike Minogue:You simply must go to Italy, Hoity J. Yes. Because, of course, Jace has never been to Italy. He's never been to Europe, but he simply must. It's an ongoing joke on the show. You know, whenever someone talks about Italy Or Europe in general, that's what you say Oui, oui That's France Don't Don't Get France and Italy mixed up Sure, man We're going to Italy, fellas Yeah, great That's awesome, man Yeah, I'm very excited A bit of pasta Pasta? Yeah Yeah, that's right A little bit of pizza Well, I mean, I'm not giving you the menu now Oh But that's what we'll be doing Take a mark off, yeah And my wife and I have been putting a lot of thought into this.

27:47Mike Minogue:Yeah, nice. Well, mainly my wife. She's been freaking out a wee bit about it. Yes. But you'll be pleased to know that Chef Kesey will be all hands to the tiller. Yeah. On the big day when it comes to making everything. Supervision from my wife, who is a very, very good chef. Yeah. But it'll be me, and already has begun to be me, hosting you guys this week. Great. Good stuff, man. It should be you. 100%. Good on you, mate. Saturday afternoon. Of course, she'll be helping me with bits and pieces. But, yeah, I'm freaking out a wee bit because it's a huge responsibility.

28:20Keyzie:Big job, man. Big job. Yeah.

28:22Mike Minogue:It really is.

28:23Keyzie:Won't be getting many sleeps this week, that's for sure.

28:26Mike Minogue:Well, I don't know if I need to stay up all week.

28:29Keyzie:Well, it just feels like, yeah.

28:31Mike Minogue:To cook you guys some macaroni. I mean, I don't think. Yeah, that's true.

28:33Keyzie:Macaroni and cheese, yum.

28:35Mike Minogue:Yeah, just the packet stuff. Yeah, good. So I'm going to get eight packets of that. We'll just have one each. Yum. Yum. Yum. Just run them all through the microwave. Don't spoil it. Yeah, true, true. Yeah, nice. Thoughts, feelings? Look, I'll be honest with you, I'm not huge on pastas and things, but I know a good one. I know a good one, Keezy. Great. So we click to judge. Obviously, very simple to make, very simple. Pizza's obviously very simple to make as well. So you're going to have to increase the degree of difficulty somehow. I don't know how you're going to do that. I'm looking forward to all the various wines that will be available there as well.

29:10Margaritas, of course. See, see, it's Spanish. But you've got to have margaritas, man, because we're getting on it.

29:16Mike Minogue:Well, no, don't just force margaritas into my Italian restaurant. No, that's not how it works. My trattoria. So margaritas? No. No. I mean, obviously, the menu will be coming Friday. Yeah, yeah, yeah. But I'm just saying, no, there won't be margaritas. Just take another mark off there. No, stop taking marks off.

29:33Keyzie:I'm very excited. Keezy, that sounds delicious, mate. I love me a good pasta.

29:39Mike Minogue:Yeah. Excited to go to Italy as well, man? A bit of scampi.

29:42Keyzie:A bit of chili. Barmissana giallo.

29:47Mike Minogue:That's racist. Maybe just keep a lid on that.

29:50Keyzie:A bit of vino.

29:52Mike Minogue:Yeah. Which is wine. Oh. Yeah, yeah. Pugs, are you excited for this, man? I'm absolutely foaming in the mouth. I love Italian cuisine. It's arguably my favourite after Asian cuisine. After the entire continent of Asia. After every country in Asia. Possibly have. Then there's Italy. Right, okay, yeah. So, yeah, I'm really excited. I'm also just excited to see you in action and how that goes. Yeah, I don't know. You're freaking out a bit. And I'll be honest. I just hope the stress from the kitchen doesn't make its way out of the kitchen. Have you ever had a separate kitchen at your house? Because at Jason's place it was a bit of an issue when they started really, Jason and his wife started really screaming at each other.

30:32Yeah, it was full on. It was, because that was an open plan.

30:35Mike Minogue:Yeah, no, ours is a bit more closed off. Okay, good. So the dining slash lounge area is very much its own little area there. It's not going to be a sort of a cramped environment, is it, in terms of the table and things? I need you to not have an issue with cramped spaces. You're going to be in my tiny two-person, almost one person apartment. You're entirely welcome, Pugsan, to hire a more suitable space for the occasion. Well, let's just say it's not super cramped. It's not a Pugsan situation, okay? But we have had to get more chairs and tables and stuff in because we can't usually host this meeting.

31:07Mike Minogue:How good is this? This is great. It's funny, eh? It's awesome. Because my wife and I literally were rearranging furniture in the lounge and stuff. How are we going to do it? And like scratching our heads and, nah, that won't work, and then rearranged it again. We're like, maybe that'll work. So, yeah, it's going to be full on. But this Saturday, come dine with Keezy, Italy edition. How good.

31:26Keyzie:Yeah, good stuff, mate.

31:31Keyzie:Here's Gorillaz.

31:32Mike Minogue:The Hauraki Big Show with Jace, Mike, and Keezy. Tune in weekdays at four on Radio Hodaki.

31:39Keyzie:Nirvana there on the Radio Hodaki big show this Monday evening. The time is 5.29. Jeez, this show has just flown by, fellas.

31:48Mike Minogue:Certainly has, Jase. We're just chatting about Come Dine with the Fellas, the latest edition of this happening this weekend. You'll be coming over to Keezy's house for a delicious Italian-themed evening. But just on Come Dine with me, I've got a bit of an issue I need to bring up with you guys. Come dine with the feelings.

32:12Mike Minogue:Something happened yesterday which made me realise I have to go back and adjust my scoring for one of the come dine with me nights. So we had hot pot mogies two months ago. We had Jace, you did late winter Christmas a few weeks ago. Very well scored both nights. Very great. Very enjoyable. Jace. Afternoons, actually, but yes. Jase. Yes. I got a ticket yesterday in the mail, a parking ticket for$70.

32:43Keyzie:Yeah.

32:44Mike Minogue:For parking outside your house. Seriously. And I checked the thing, and it was a Sunday, and it said I didn't need to pay, and then they stung me. Yeah, got you good. So I guess the sort of thing I'm looking at here is I've essentially paid$70. Yeah. Jeez. You know what I mean? to go to Javon and Jason.

33:02Keyzie:No, I mean, I see where you're coming from. Actually, my wife and I had this discussion the other day, and we still have them, even though we've been there for like seven months. Is Sunday free or not? Well, I checked the app. It's very confusing.

33:17Mike Minogue:I checked the app and it said it was free. Okay. And then I got stung with 70 bucks. You like that? Yeah. It was good. Well worth it, I'm sure. Well, cheap at twice the price, Casey, for that kind of experience. Totally, man. Cheap at twice the price. Think about how much the food would have cost Jase, man. Yeah, I don't really care about that. Potatoes? Yeah, potatoes are expensive. Duck fat?

33:40Keyzie:Ham. Actually, duck fat's very reasonable. It was like seven bucks. I had duck fat potatoes last night. Beautiful. I've nailed those bastards.

33:51Mike Minogue:You love duck fat, eh?

33:52Keyzie:I love it, man. I smear it on my body every night. Hey, so I'm thinking I'm thinking so I gave you an overall 35 out of 40.

34:01Mike Minogue:Yeah. Very generous. Which felt high at the time. Yeah, you're right. And now looking back, you know, a few weeks on, I'm just looking back. I'm considering the ticket. I'm thinking I'm going to have to drop that down to like a 32 out of 40.

34:13Keyzie:Right. So just to clarify, you're docking me points because you got a ticket and also because Pugs had a steamer in the entertainment. you died I'm not sure that's relevant

34:26Mike Minogue:I already doctored well I know

34:28Keyzie:I was disgusted on your behalf Pugs that he did that

34:31Mike Minogue:so you would have got a 10 out of 10 for entertainment but it was a 9 because Pugs had a steamer in the middle of it that's right look I'll be honest with you Jase I think you should cop this sure man I think you should cop it sweet while all the while being aware that Keezy's got a very big weekend coming up doesn't he yeah very big weekend or how about this or how about this how about this I can't even believe you brought this up as a possibility Keezy given what's happening this weekend. You're hosting your own.

34:57Keyzie:I would hate to have a delicious meal at Keezy's, and they'd be walking to my car and slip on the rough pavement of West Auckland and stub my knee or something like that. I'd hate for that to happen. Are you blackmailing me? That would be terrible.

35:17Mike Minogue:Hang on. Well, how about this? How about this, Jase? The reason I'm bringing it up is because I thought this was a fair and unbiased competition. I thought we were just being honest. You know what I mean? So I'm just being honest here. I got stung. Yeah. I had to pay to go to your house. I have to deduct points for that. Unless you just want to take care of it.

35:34Keyzie:Well, no, look, you do you, Keezy. That's totally fair enough, mate. If you want to drop my score, you do so.

35:41Mike Minogue:And you're not going to be a dick this weekend, are you?

35:44Keyzie:Well, no. We'll just see how it goes.

35:47Mike Minogue:The Hauraki Big Show with Jace, Mike, and Keezy. Tune in weekdays at four on Radio Hauraki. One simple question. One weekend of a lifetime. Would you rather?

36:01Keyzie:Yes, indeed, Waz or Kars. You decide, New Zealand. Wow. Two great prizes.

36:07Mike Minogue:NRL Grand Final or Bathurst.

36:09Keyzie:Yeah, man. Yeah. Keezy wants to. Yeah, yeah. Keezy. Oh, you've changed, Keezy.

36:14Mike Minogue:I'm just sad, man. Yeah, I know you are. I'm just sad. You've lost the faith. I've dropped lip. They're quite specific about this, Keezy. They say keep the faith. and you're going against that rule. Oh my God, you're right. It's just a matter of faith. It's just a matter of faith. It's always been a matter of faith. You're losing the faith.

36:30Keyzie:I fully believe in the fellas.

36:32Mike Minogue:Jase, you don't even care. Hey, you know who does care? BoysTrip.co.nz. Thanks, man. And they've put together a couple of great packages. You can have three nights over in Australia there with shuttles to and from Mount Panorama, both Saturday and Sunday if you're keen to go to Bathurst or you can go to Sydney, go to the Randwick races on the Saturday, Boat crews to the stadium on Sunday and watch the grand final. Flights accommodation all taken care of. Transfers, everything.

36:58Keyzie:Too good, man. Too good. Let's go to the phone lines. G'day, Ian, you mad bastard. How's life? Yeah, not too shabby boys and yourself. Yeah, good, thanks, mate. Good, mate. Good weekend there for you, Ian. What did you do? Mate, just a quiet one, eh? A few documentaries, a couple of movies, and caught up on sleep, believe it or not. Oh, good on you, man. Watched a bit of sport as well, did you? Absolutely. As tragic as it was. Yeah, yeah. Good on you, mate. And what do you do for a crust, Ian? A bit of a jack, mate. All trades. Yeah, yeah. Oh, you're nice. Sweet. So what are you going, NRL or Bathurst?

37:34Now, look, you can still have faith from Bathurst, eh? Yeah. Absolutely you can.

37:37Keyzie:You totally can, mate. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. So you're going to go Bathurst, Ian?

37:41Mike Minogue:Yeah, I'll be on the mountain, mate. All right. We'll lock that in, mate. You're in the draw. Good luck, all right? Cheers, boys. Good on you, mate. Hello, Rachel. Rachel, how's life?

37:50Keyzie:Yeah, not too bad. Thanks. How are you guys? Yeah, good. Thanks, mate. You had a nice weekend there, Rachel?

37:57Mike Minogue:Oh, yeah. We learned the value of a jib lifter, chucking jib up onto the bedroom ceiling.

38:04Keyzie:Oh, yeah. Yeah, she's back-breaking. I just used my left arm for that. Far out. You're a back-bunner. You're a legend, though. You're a massive back-bunner.

38:13Mike Minogue:Hey, Rachel, what do you do for a crust man? I work in electrical wholesale. Oh, do you? Back pain. How good. Like plugs in there. There he is. Yeah. Lights and stuff. Yeah. Lights and stuff. Yeah.

38:26Keyzie:Now you're talking. All right, Rachel, what would you rather, a Bathurst or the grand final?

38:31Mike Minogue:Oh, it's got to be Bathurst. Oh. Two Bathurst. I wonder if we're going to find a few more Bathurst folks sort of queuing up.

38:40Keyzie:Yeah. But look, it's a great, you know, if you go to the Wires, it's a great weekend regardless, but I can see it sort of thinning out a little bit here.

38:49Mike Minogue:Hey, Rachel, you're in the draw, mate. Good luck.

38:53Keyzie:Wonderful. Thank you. Thank you, Rachel. Good luck. I'm disappointed in you, Keezy. Jase, come on, man. Save it, all right? You're being the fair weather fan. I'm not a fair weather fan. You know what I mean? That is not true. This, I would argue. Right when they need you the most. Right. This is the moment. And Keezy's dropping lit. He's skulking around the place. and he's, oh, those three games have been really lacklustre. I think we've run out of juice. Who said that? What are you talking about? It's a disgrace and it's disappointing, man. As a massive fan of the Waz myself, I cannot believe you.

39:28Keyzie:Do you see Mogi dropping lip? Don't see me dropping lip, man. What I love about it is we now get the opportunity to beat another team. Thank you. So we're going to belt Newcastle up again, which is going to be great guns. Then after that, right when the Dolphins think they're going to win, we're going to belt them. And then we'll probably see Penrith in the final. We'll belt those bastards as well. Is there anything better than being the toughest kid on the block and all you're doing is just wandering around just smacking people over? Yeah. That's the waz, man. And they're just thinking to themselves, we don't want to wake off.

39:57We want to smack someone else over. Let's go. Thank you, Moggy.

40:00Keyzie:I think they deliberately lost that match. They threw it, man. Because they want to do three in a row and go douche, dominant, dominant, dominant champions.

40:10Mike Minogue:That was four. But fair enough, man. Hey, shout out to boyship.co.nz. Here's Black Sabbath. The Hauraki Beat Show with Jace, Mike and Keezy. Tune in weekdays at four on Radio Hauraki.

40:25Keyzie:The dudes on Radio Hauraki this Monday evening. The time is 5.54.

40:33Mike Minogue:Hey, fellas, the 2026 Canadian Craft Beer and Food Festival is happening in November. the 27th and 28th down at Forsyth Bar Stadium there. It is a fantastic event. We've been there a few times. Tickets available, dunedinbeerfestival.co.nz. Great musical artists, over 75 beer food and beverage vendors. Now, to celebrate this, Emerson's, who have flown us down there a few times, they are crafting a magical beer for the event. It is a tropical, hazy, pale ale, and it needs a name. Is it magical? Apparently. Wow. I don't know what it does. I think it makes you pissed. Oh. Maybe. I'm not sure. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

41:09Mike Minogue:Responsibly.

41:09Keyzie:Well, responsibly, Keezy. Come on, man.

41:12Mike Minogue:I hope so. Yeah, responsibly.

41:14Keyzie:You could just have it as a nice quiet tipple of an evening.

41:17Mike Minogue:Yes, at the Craft Beer and Food Festival. Yes. With that in mind, of course, it needs a name. People are texting through on 3483, a good name for the beer, and we've got a whole heap of Emerson's hoodies to send out to the text we like, so please keep sending them, 3483. Brayden says, Ingle Beer Humperdrink. Not bad. Yeah, it's pretty good, actually. What about turn that brown upside down? Turn that brown upside down? Yeah, you've got a mug there. You turn that mug upside down, you see? Yeah, brown just makes me think of... Yeah, yeah. You're thinking about poos again, Keezy. You can't get it out of your head, can you, man?

41:49God, you're obsessed.

41:51Mike Minogue:I'm obsessed with poos, guys, yeah. G'day, guys. Hoity Fizz. Now we're talking.

41:58Keyzie:Yeah, that's good. Now we're talking.

42:00Mike Minogue:Of course, that's a reference to Jase's birth name, which is Hoity Jizz.

42:03Keyzie:Yes. But, you know, you'd have to pay me massive to use my name. Royalties. Royalties, yes. I think the money while you're working here, I think the money goes to Bogsy. Oh, does it? Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. You sign over all rights to your name. That'd be right. Beakbone.

42:19Mike Minogue:Beakbone. No. Oh, okay. Cold frothy jizz. The jizz fizz. Or fizzy jizz. These are all great. Three guys, one hop. Oh, I see what they've done there. Hazy Day with Hoity J. And you can see the image on the can is like a sunset and an umbrella and a little chair there. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

42:43Keyzie:Well, no, me just staring out at the ocean with my hands clasped behind my back.

42:48Mike Minogue:That would be good, actually. Hazy, Wheezy, Keezy. Hoity J's Cloudy Eyes Ale. What's on tap with me, Keezy? See? So many. Or this one here. Keezy on all fours, sharing a bed with 20 dudes in Clevedon with me, Keezy, Tropical, Hazy, Paleo. So lots of really great suggestions coming through. Keep them coming, 3483, and we'll dish out some awesome Emerson's hoodies.

43:12Keyzie:Yeah, great stuff, Keezy. After 6 o 'clock, I've done it again at an auction, fellas. I'm in trouble. I'm in big trouble. Bit of sport chat as well, I think.

43:22Mike Minogue:Absolutely. The Hauraki Big Show with Jace, Mike, and Keezy. Tune in weekdays at four on Radio Hauraki.

43:31Keyzie:Welcome back, you massive backbones. Hope your Monday's going along very nicely indeed. You're listening to The Big Show, by the way, brought to you by Reburger.

43:39Mike Minogue:Handcrafted burgers, loaded fries and gourmet eats. It'll change the game. Yummy.

43:46Keyzie:What's on the plate tonight, Moggy? No idea? Or do you have an idea? No, I actually do have an idea. Strangely enough, I just received a text from my wife there. Who's the one cooking this evening? All right. It's a dumpling salad. This is the text. I'll read you the text. All right. Dumpling salad. There's chicken dumplings in freezer.

44:10Mike Minogue:You love dumplings, eh? Well, when it's sold to me like that, I do. One more time. Dumpling salad. There's chicken dumplings in freezer. I mean, how good does that sound? So she's saying, like, you've got to cook those yourself? A hundred percent. Wow. That's what she's saying. Yum. All right. That's rough. What are you having? That sounds good, man. What are you having, Jase? Sausage. What kind of sausage, though? I don't know. It'd be some sort of beef or something. Chicken? No, not chicken. You like a chicken sausage?

44:42Keyzie:No, I don't. Sausage. Roasted kuma and broccoli salad. What? With a sausage? Yeah, man. That's mad. It's madness, eh?

44:52Mike Minogue:And I'm interested to see if the listeners agree on 3483. I love sausages. Like, I love sausages, man. They rule. Pugs has got his thumb up out there. Yeah. He's always. He's a big sausage lover. He's only got one in each hand. Yeah.

45:05Keyzie:A hundred percent. The only reason, because I'm not a big sausage fan, but I'm happy we've got white bread at home. So squirt a bit of musty and sauce on there. Why ruin it? Just have it.

45:17Mike Minogue:Like, get a delivery. Because you're always shopping at those fancy supermarkets. Go and get a gourmet sausage. Go get a gourmet sausage with some parmesan or truffle or something in it. It's beautiful, man What are you having? My wife just texts saying A larb Oh, yeah Chicken larb No, pork mince

45:37Keyzie:So raw pork mince salad No, it's not raw Your larb is raw

45:41Mike Minogue:No, it's not Is it? Yes No, it's not Is it?

45:46Keyzie:Anyway, coming up Yes, it is Bit of sport chat, fellas It's a hell of a weekend, wasn't it? Yeah, it was, man

45:54Mike Minogue:Do we have to go over it? I think so. Get it out of the system. People want to know, man, what we think about it. Here's the hybes. The Hauraki Big Show with Jace, Mike, and Keezy. Tune in weekdays at 4 on Radio Hauraki.

46:08Keyzie:You order there on the Radio Hauraki Big Show this Monday evening.

46:12Mike Minogue:Fellas, we've teamed up once again with the legends at Trade Tested to transform your average deck into one with confidence. They've got everything that you need for your backyard delivered to your front door. So we've done this before. Basically, you go to tradetested.co.nz, put together a wish list up to the value of$2 ,500. Wow. Last time we did this, people got very close, cent for cent. Yes, they did. Then go to hodaki.co.nz to Big Deck Energy. That's the name of the competition. Submit your wish list, sign up, and this Friday and a few more Fridays as well, we'll be calling some various winners, fellas.

46:45Mike Minogue:Make your deck great again with Trade Tested.

46:47Keyzie:Fellas, let's talk sport.

46:53Keyzie:Not yet, mate. Not yet.

46:58Keyzie:Sport.

47:02Keyzie:Well, we've touched on the wares. Disappointing. Very disappointing.

47:06Mike Minogue:Massively. I was there live at the stadium. Yeah. A lot of build-up. A lot of excitement. Real mish even getting the tickets. There were four of us running laptops. One of us managed to get through and make it happen. We're so fizzed up. We started early on Saturday, got to the stadium, good vibes. Two hours early, vibes kept going. Game started, seemed like we were all G, and then the second half for me, it was just so gutting. Downbuzz. Yeah, but still such a great experience. I love going to Mount Smart and making a big day of it. Just gutted the result. Yeah, man. But hey. That sport. Got another game this Sunday, fellas.

47:39Keyzie:Let's talk the ABs. Obviously going down 3-1 to the South Africans. In Baltimore, the final game. bizarre, growing the game as they say. As usual when the game's played in America, lots of technical issues. I was effing and jeffing throughout this game. Huge delays, etc, etc, etc. Now, you know, my view is, fellas, that the South Africans are just too good at the moment. Yeah. I would back them to beat us 8 out of 10 times. I don't know how we're going to beat them. I know on our day we can beat them with our innovation, with our attacking play. But they're so physical, so brutal, and they're quick, and they're very hard to stop.

48:24Keyzie:And there were 20-minute periods in that game where they just smashed us, destroyed us, and it was like, how do we – I thought they were going to blow up to 50 at one point, but we held on, but just not good enough. Yeah, well, that's about it. I mean, I watched it, and it was a tough watch. 80-minute game took 110 minutes. It was a period where it stopped for 10 minutes. I was fast forwarding it. And as a sidebar, did you get up and watch it live? Yeah, I was on at nine. Oh, of course it was. Of course it was. But I watched it a little bit marginally later than that. On Sky now, if you're watching things back, you can't fast forward the ads.

49:00You have to sit through them. You can fast forward all of the other content, but they make you watch the ads. You can only pause. So that's obviously a commercial decision they've made. When you've got paying subscribers, they will not let you fast forward the ads. and I think that is absolute bullshit. Yeah, it's a disgrace. It's a disgrace. But, yeah, as you say, I just think they're far too good. But at the other end of the stick, we're old there. Dave Reddy's been in there for a year. It's all about the World Cup. Fingers crossed. Who knows what will happen between now and then. But, yeah, just the better side all around.

49:31But we've lost, keep in mind, we've lost probably two years of solid development as a result of the last coaching regime. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

49:38Keyzie:I actually feel pretty optimistic about the World Cup. I think, you know, we're definitely a chance. but, man, South Africa's good. They're bloody good, mate. They're bloody good.

49:48Mike Minogue:I think the thing with the All Blacks is when the ball, when we've got some good go-forward and it gets out to the backs and we can catch them flat-footed, our backs can tear them a new one. It's just about the dominance in the forward pack and stuff. It's just if we can somehow combat that.

50:03Keyzie:I tell you another massive weakness in this game that was exposed again, the high ball. They got every single high ball they put up. And our plan of attack was to turn our backs on them and try and block them. That didn't work. We've got to do something about that quick, smart. Disgraceful.

50:20Mike Minogue:How are you under the highball just ahead of us playing rugby next year? Pretty damn solid, Keezy. It's good to know it. The Hauraki Big Show with Jase, Mike and Keezy. Tune in weekdays at four on Radio Hauraki.

50:32Keyzie:Live there on the Radio Hauraki Big Show this Monday evening. The time is 6.27. Fellas have done it again. Another debacle on the Hori J household. You'll recall, of course, the fact that I bought a ridiculous coffee table.

50:46Mike Minogue:That's right, because you're addicted to like an auction website.

50:48Keyzie:Yeah, well, a couple of them now, actually.

50:50Mike Minogue:And the photos on the website look lovely and make it look really amazing. Yes. It has the dimensions written there. Yes. And then you bought a coffee table. And we came around to your house and saw it. It's massive.

50:59Keyzie:Yeah, it's massive. You must love coffee, man. Well, it's one of those things. It would be perfect in a scene from Game of Thrones. Or in a garage or like a storage unit. Yeah. Well, I actually think it's more of an outdoor one now. And when we have some outdoors, it'll be a great little outdoor coffee table. I sort of imagine it's sort of sitting on the verge when they do that next sort of rubbish collection. Yeah, yeah, organic. Inorganics? Yeah, oh, sorry, inorganic. Sorry. Well, part of it's organic because it's wood. Come on, man.

51:27Mike Minogue:Apology accepted.

51:28Keyzie:Now, that was an atrocity. And when they brought it out, my wife said two words, and that was O, and then I won't say the other word. Now, I should have learnt my lesson. and I have become addicted to auctions because we don't have sort of antique markets and we don't have that sort of stuff around the place. No great places you can walk into and go and look at stuff. I bet you do, but you haven't looked into it. They have hundreds of them in Australia. After waking up, Jase, how long is it before you hit that website? Oh, eight minutes. Well, it depends if I've bid on anything. Yeah. Yeah, you know what I mean?

52:04Keyzie:So anyway, it's happened again.

52:06Mike Minogue:Okay, because just that coffee table, where you had to rearrange your entire living room to suit the coffee table to make it fit. And no one in your family likes it. None of your daughters.

52:14Keyzie:Oh, my youngest does. Oh, that's good. Yeah, but my wife said, well, that should tell you plenty. So anyway, I saw this. I'm a bit of a lamp guy. I like lamps, okay? I like lamps. I like lamps.

52:31Mike Minogue:You're like the guy off Anchorman.

52:32Keyzie:You love lamps. I love a lamp. And I saw this amazing one, and it was just the sort of lamp I liked, very elegant, very, you know, to have on a coffee table. Do you need the lamp? Well, not necessarily. To have on a coffee table, for example, Moggy. For sure.

52:48Mike Minogue:That's just another thing. He's going to have to get an electrician to come around when a light bulb goes. I know.

52:53Keyzie:Now, I went, I want to bet on that bastard. And I've got another similar lamp to it in my house. Very cute, very pretty. The lamp. The lamp, yeah. And I went, oh, I want to get that. and I've lost all these other bids, right? So I'm like, I'm fired up. I'm fired up. And I'm like, I'm not going to lose this one. Again, didn't pay attention to the details.

53:16Mike Minogue:So did you think it was a table lamp, a desk lamp?

53:19Keyzie:Well, it's like, yeah, it's like a table lamp.

53:21Mike Minogue:It's not like a free, okay, right, okay.

53:23Keyzie:So then I pretty much win the bid at the auction.

53:27Mike Minogue:The auction, yeah.

53:28Keyzie:And then I look at the measurements. That's when you look? That's when I looked.

53:33Mike Minogue:Did you go, hang on, I should probably double check? Yeah.

53:35Keyzie:That's exactly what I did. Oh, God. I went, this is after I pretty much won it. Hang on, I should double check just the actual size of that. So the lamp is 80 centimetres in height. Yeah, that's big.

53:51Mike Minogue:Right, okay.

53:51Keyzie:And it's a table lamp. It's not a freestanding. It's 80 centimetres in height and 60 centimetres in diameter. Oh, my God. Ugly. I thought it was literally like, you know, 20 centimetres. But again, so now my wife's going to absolutely lose her shit over this. So what I'm going to have to do is pay for it, pick it up, and then go and hide it in our storage unit. That is so embarrassing. That sounds like the most mature way to handle this. I think it's the only thing I can do. There's no way she's going to let it in the house.

54:30Mike Minogue:So does she know about it?

54:32Keyzie:No. Oh, my God. So every now and again you're just going to go down to your storage unit and just plug it in. Have a gaze, enjoy it. Yeah, switch it on and off. Because my wife said to me, I mean, she said to me, seriously, you have the taste of a 90-year-old woman. Well, a blind 90-year-old woman. Yeah. You know. I mean, I think I've got quite good taste, but, you know, I'm beginning to have doubts, fellas.

54:55Mike Minogue:Well, I think you've got a real opportunity here with your giant coffee table and giant lamp and obviously you're small in stature. You could set up your house in a way that when people walk in, it's like an optical illusion. That's right. They think the table's right in front of them, but it's actually in the distance. It's actually miles away. You've got a real Gulliver situation going on here, Jase. It looks like you live in the land of the giants. The Hauraki Big Show with Jase, Mike and Kesey. Tune in weekdays at four on Radio Hauraki.

55:27Keyzie:There you go, you mad bastards. That's the big show done and dusted for your Monday. In the podcast outro, otherwise known now as the disclaimer, we discussed all sorts, but what clip have you got there, Keezy?

55:40Mike Minogue:Certainly did, Jase. Today's clip, and the podcast itself comes out at 7.30, was involving food. No surprises there. I'll tell you what, there's a lot of f***ing food chat around here. Yeah, man. And for the audience out there, believe me, it's not just on the show. it is non-stop non-stop hot pot I can't wait for Jase to get over it

56:06Keyzie:actually we forgot to talk about I punished Keezy we'll do it tomorrow on the chat yesterday talking him through my meal just to annoy him because I knew he'd be hung over

56:19Mike Minogue:I thought you were just genuinely like Keezy would be interested in this you were telling me that you were being a shit stirrer

56:25Keyzie:really? Hey, Mogi, what are your plans for the night? Just a quiet one, I'm suspecting. Yeah, look, normally I have a huge one on a Monday, Jase. Yeah, we all do. But I had a few over the weekend. Now I just need one more sleep and then I'll be brand new. Before I came in today, I went and had a sauna over the road and that really helped me out. Yeah, I... You don't like saunas, Jase? No, but I actually, I think I do, Mogi, and I've got one downstairs for God's sake. You're mad for not using it. I'd be in that bastard every day. I really am. I'm going to start using it. Yeah, get into it. So I'll go home.

56:58I might watch something on the old telly there and that'll be out. She'll be lights out for me. I mean, I've got that dumpling soup to look forward to, that dumpling salad. Salad, the frozen dumplings. Yeah, yeah, yeah. So I'll rip into those bastards and yeah, then I'll be in the sack. The old fart sack, they call it, Kesey. What about you, brother? What are you up to tonight?

57:15Mike Minogue:What? The pork mince larb? To be honest, yeah. I'm not sure if I have to, because my wife said we're supposed to be having pork larb. But based on the text, it's like, oh, either, I'm going to have to pick something up. You want to have something better than that. Or I'll have to cook it. We've got the ingredient, and it is yum. Is it? It is yum. I can tell she's just probably had a big day or something. Yeah, it's been a busy day. Is that what you feel like? Because you were hungover yesterday too. Yeah. Is that what sounds good to you? A larb? Yeah. My wife makes a delicious larb. Great. Bit of cupid mayo on there at the end and a little bit of hot sauce.

57:46Mike Minogue:Delicious. Yeah, and then she'll probably go to bed. I'll probably go online with the fellas. Doosh, doosh, doosh. What are you doing, Jase? good question there Keezy very very good question we need to come up with a new question for Jase what do you mean? what's 2 plus 2? 5 yeah good stuff hey see you tomorrow at 4 bye