FULL SHOW: LIVE from Prebbleton!

7:49Jeremy Wells:So you're going to tell the people of Prebleton about their own town? Just some facts about their own town. You've come down here to mansplain to them about their own town. Yeah, that's right.

7:57Manaia Stewart:Because you were saying off-air, Kesey, that the people of Prebleton are der-brained, so they probably don't know about the facts of Prebbledon.

8:03Matt Heath:I did say that off-air, Jase. I also said don't repeat it because a lot of my family are in Prebbledon.

8:08Manaia Stewart:Oh, right.

8:09Matt Heath:Yeah, yeah, yeah. Look, okay, so first fact about Prebbledon, this pub's named The Bridge because there used to be a bridge here and now it's gone. What? Yeah, thank you. That is good shit, Keasy. So there's no bridge anymore.

8:22Manaia Stewart:That is good stuff.

8:23Matt Heath:Second fact about Prebbledon, there used to be a mushroom factory here. This is actually the mushroom capital of Canterbury. Yeah, meadow mushrooms. Anyone here used to work at meadow mushrooms? No? Apparently they used to smell weird, the mushroom people. That's a genuine fact. The tallest man in New Zealand used to live in Prebleton.

8:43Manaia Stewart:Oh, right, okay. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Did he move?

8:45Matt Heath:He did move. I don't know where he's gone, but maybe in the 90s, the tallest man in New Zealand lived here. Is it true that it's named after Greg Prebleton? Our daytime announcer? Yeah, yeah. But I'm not sure.

9:00Jeremy Wells:I know they were tossing up between Prevelton and Hoytville, weren't they?

9:02Manaia Stewart:Yeah, yeah. Well, I was born here, as you mentioned, Mania. I tell you what, I love coming down to Christchurch. We're staying at a fabulous establishment at the moment, and I met an absolute backbone of a woman pushing the old cleaning trolley there. She would have been maybe, you know, mid-60s. Sort of your age. She would have been about mid-60s.

9:24Matt Heath:Oh, 60s, yeah, yeah.

9:25Manaia Stewart:Pushing her trolley there. She was wearing some daggy old track pants. She was wearing some jandals. She had a really filthy shirt on. She had a durry hanging out of her mouth.

9:36Matt Heath:So she wasn't dressed up to the nines like you are?

9:38Manaia Stewart:Yeah, exactly. She wasn't dressed up to the nines.

9:40Jeremy Wells:But what you said is you walked into a mirror today.

9:43Manaia Stewart:I saw her and I said to her, Morning, how you going? And she went, G'day, love, how you doing? And I immediately went, what an absolute backbone. My only fear is that we're going to have such a good time here in Prebledon, at the bar here, that I'll end up making love to her at some stage of the evening.

10:01Jeremy Wells:I was going to say, is this an open invite, what you're doing here?

10:03Manaia Stewart:Well, you know, worse things have happened, Minaya, to be honest. What room number were you again? I'm not going to give my room number out just yet.

10:10Matt Heath:And just on that, I'd like to say a big thank you to Scenic Hotel Cotswold for putting us up. And a big shout-out to the janitor that works there. She sounds lovely. Yeah, she's a bat bow. That probably wasn't the plug they were expecting from us. Don't forget 3483 if you guys want to shout-out here in the pub or, of course, for the thousands listening around New Zealand and, indeed, the world. Plenty more content coming up next day, Jase. What have we got? I don't know, man. The Hauraki Big Show with Jason Hoyt, Mike Minogue and Keezy.

10:40Manaia Stewart:Oh, yes, indeed. You've got to love a bit of Jimi Hendrix. So we're live from the bridge in Trebbledon.

10:45Matt Heath:That's right. We're here for Bear and Pie July. Big shout-out to Montice and also the West Coast Pie Company. How good. First hundred people through the door, Jase. Backbone T-shirt and a West Coast pie. Delicious pies as well.

10:56Manaia Stewart:How are the pies, everyone?

10:58Matt Heath:Yeah, man.

10:59Jeremy Wells:You're just saying that because they're free, though. Cheap bastards. Fellas, can I run something past you? There's something that happened to me the other day. Yeah, please do. I feel like you're equipped to deal with particularly, Jase. I was at the pub the other day with a mate of mine, and the person at the table next to us said, hey, sorry, mate, do you mind if I borrow your phone? I need to text my missus. My phone's just died. Can I borrow yours? Oh, yeah. And so my mate goes, yeah, that's sweet as, mate. Borrow my phone. He said, oh, can I just hold on to it for a second until she texts me back.

11:26Jeremy Wells:Yes. Sweet as, about half an hour goes by, he gets the phone back, the guy disappears. Checks his phone. The guy's been sexting his missus off my mate's phone. Where do you stand on sexting your missus off someone else's phone, Jess?

11:39Manaia Stewart:Oh, look, I'm all for it. You know, particularly when you're away from town like we are today, you know what I'm saying? You're a lonely old fella in a hotel room, you like to spice things up a bit. It's important to keep the flame alive. The thing that I really struggle with and always have his dick pics for obvious reasons.

11:56Jeremy Wells:Well, that's because you send flaccid ones, Jase.

11:58Manaia Stewart:Oh, is that the issue?

12:00Jeremy Wells:Yeah, that is part of the issue.

12:01Manaia Stewart:But, you know, I never know because there's all those sort of filters you can put on it and stuff, and I don't know how to do the wide angle sort of lens kind of thing.

12:09Jeremy Wells:I don't think the wide angle's your problem.

12:10Manaia Stewart:Oh, you don't?

12:11Matt Heath:Nah, you need a wider lens to capture the chode there, hoody Joe. But in terms of sexting, though, I've never even sexted off my own phone, let alone a random person's phone.

12:21Jeremy Wells:You do it mostly off other people. Well, it's funny you say that because your first wife is here in the crowd, actually, as well as her parents.

12:27Matt Heath:My first wife is here in the crowd. You're right. She is. And she can probably attest to that. Shout out to her. Loose thumbs up, thumbs down. Does he sex you? Can you not bring my wife into it in a room full of backbones, please? Talking about sexting. How good. So did you read the texts that were sent? Yep. Spicy. Very spicy.

12:44Manaia Stewart:Well, give us a bit of a taste there. It was a lot. I mean, because I'll be honest with you, hard as it is to believe, I've never sexted.

12:53Matt Heath:But you've sent a few, like, sexy telegrams and stuff. Oh, yeah.

12:57Manaia Stewart:I've done some Morse. You've been known to tap out a Morse code from drive to drive, have you? Some very erotic Morse code. I'll be home in six months. Don't wash.

13:07Jeremy Wells:Yeah, that was more or less what it was along the lines of. Can't wait to get home. So excited to see you. I love that he left it on there.

13:13Matt Heath:He didn't delete it afterwards.

13:14Jeremy Wells:No, well, he wouldn't have known how. It was Jase, by the way.

13:16Matt Heath:Yeah. It was me. See, I think that takes a lot of courage. It's quite bold.

13:21Jeremy Wells:Well, it's very progressive, isn't it? But I just don't know if you should be using other people's phone for it. Actually, by the way, Jase, can I have my phone back, please? Sure, man.

13:28Manaia Stewart:Hey, do you want to hear a bit of Barracuda?

13:30Jeremy Wells:Not really.

13:31Manaia Stewart:Okay.

13:32Matt Heath:The Hauraki Big Show Podcast.

13:34Manaia Stewart:Oh, yes, indeed. Rage against the machine. And we're live at the bridge in Prebbledon and having a great old time, fellas.

13:41Matt Heath:We certainly are, Jase. Of course, we are here celebrating Bear and Pie July, thanks to those mad bastards at Monteith. and also the West Coast Pie Company. We have given out 100 free backbone teas and 100 free pies. People are having a great time, Josh.

13:52Manaia Stewart:They sure are. But right now it's time for... What's on the telly with Mike Minogue.

14:03Manaia Stewart:Yeah!

14:10Matt Heath:Good stuff. It's so good, man. It sounded great.

14:13Manaia Stewart:Yeah, that was awesome, man. Fellas, unfortunately, I only watched about three minutes of telly last night, so I don't have much to offer.

14:21Matt Heath:Oh, what were you up to?

14:22Manaia Stewart:I watched Romancing the Bone.

14:25Matt Heath:First three minutes or last three minutes?

14:28Manaia Stewart:It was about midway through, actually. Really? You're a midway guy? Yeah, I've actually been watching that movie now. I've probably watched it about 20 times, and each time it takes me just a little bit further along the film.

14:38Matt Heath:Have you got to the climax yet? Many times.

14:41Jeremy Wells:No, of the film.

14:42Manaia Stewart:Oh, right.

14:43Jeremy Wells:What did you watch, Mania? Birthday yesterday I watched the same thing I watch every birthday And that's a bit of Star Wars I would implore you to re-watch the Jar Jar Binks series

14:52Manaia Stewart:Right, okay

14:53Jeremy Wells:I know your memory of it is terrible But trust me, go back and re-watch it It stands the test of time

14:58Matt Heath:So which episode did you watch last night?

15:01Jeremy Wells:Phantom Menace And it was good? That's the one, yep Absolutely And that's the only one that's got Jar Jar Binks in it He gets phased out almost immediately Once they realised that everyone hated him And he was borderline racist they just cut them out of the second one. And then from there on out you don't have to deal with it.

15:15Matt Heath:Yeah, right, okay. And so the way this works is you sort of talk for a wee bit about your favourite TV show you've just watched. Yeah. And then you give it a rating out of five buzies.

15:25Jeremy Wells:Oh, okay, five buzies. Five, well, I mean, this is Star Wars, so the buzies are often on the head. So I'll give it two on the chest, one on the head, three buzies out of five.

15:33Matt Heath:Okay, so above average.

15:36Jeremy Wells:Yeah, that's right.

15:36Matt Heath:Wow, okay, and romance in the boat?

15:38Jeremy Wells:Oh, look, the three minutes you watched. What were you doing the rest of your night? Why did you only have three minutes? I was tired after that, just went to bed

15:46Manaia Stewart:I'd give it six buzzies

15:48Matt Heath:Six buzzies out of five?

15:49Manaia Stewart:Yeah man, it was that good

15:51Matt Heath:Jase is doing this thing where he's like Taking things that we really cherish Like the throbber for example And he's ruining them So he knows we've got a five buzzie rating system You're giving six buzzies to three minutes of a porno

16:02Manaia Stewart:Yeah, six buzzies Keezy, six buzzies What did you watch? No!

16:08Matt Heath:What did I watch? I watched another documentary

16:10Manaia Stewart:Oh, good stuff. Do you want another song? No, no. I'm actually really interested, actually, because as you mentioned, your in-laws are here. What are you and your wife? Because your wife and you tend to watch really, really boring shit most of the time. What do you watch when you're with your in-laws? Does it get a bit racy? Does it get a bit more exciting? What are we after?

16:33Matt Heath:Yeah, it gets racy with the in-laws. Now, tell me this. I'll put like a titty flick on with the in-laws.

16:40Jeremy Wells:Is that what you want from me, Hoity J? Tell me this. You weirdo. Is she as uninterested in the show you're watching as she is in the show you're doing right now? She's just down the back of the pub not watching you at all.

16:50Matt Heath:Yeah, well, I'll basically fire up some Best of the Big Show clips. You know, my wife, all that sort of stuff. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And then the rest of the family will kind of make their way to bed pretty quick. And then, yeah, I'll put some filth on.

17:01Manaia Stewart:Yeah, good.

17:02Matt Heath:So that Hoity J is stoked with it.

17:03Manaia Stewart:Hey, now, listen, we want to ask the audience, we were thinking of doing a Thursday thrubber. What do you reckon? Yeah I think so Because we're a bit of jeopardy with that after 5 won't there

17:14Matt Heath:Yes this is something we started in Hookaticka We did a live show down there and basically The idea and this will be happening just after 5 Is we each have to pick a song where we've Walked into Prebleton Canterbury And we have to impress the locals with a song On the jukebox This is the song that we're each putting on to sort of Ingratiate ourselves to the locals

17:31Jeremy Wells:I mean it's huge putting a dollar on the jukebox and trying to get the locals Fired up I'm excited for what you think they want to hear That's really why it's all happening after 5 o 'clock. The National coming up shortly.

17:43Matt Heath:The Hauraki Big Show Podcast.

17:49Manaia Stewart:It's the Hauraki Big Show's Thursday. Throbber. Yes, indeed, we're live from the bridge in Pebbleton, and we thought, because it's a special occasion, we'd have a special Throbber kind of theme today, fellas.

18:04Matt Heath:Yeah, that's right, Jase. We're down here celebrating Bear and Pie July. Thanks to our mates at Montice and also the West Coast Pie Company. Minaya, do you know what a throbber is? Do I know what a throbber is? Have you ever experienced one?

18:16Jeremy Wells:I've got untold experience with throbbers.

18:19Matt Heath:Okay, great. Both here and abroad. You know that a throbber is just a banging song that will get people's night fired up. Oh.

18:26Jeremy Wells:What did you think it was? I have queued up a very different thing. No, I can change it. I can change it. It's fine.

18:31Manaia Stewart:The one change we are going to make about the Thursday throbber is we're going to let the live audience decide just by sheer volume of cheers or cheers.

18:41Matt Heath:And so how it's going to work is, as I mentioned before, you've walked into a strange town, you're in Prebbledon, you need to win the locals.

18:47Jeremy Wells:I don't think Prebbledon's a strange town. I think it's a great town.

18:52Matt Heath:I personally love the town of Prebbledon.

18:55Manaia Stewart:They're all backbones, because I wouldn't call them weird

18:57Matt Heath:and strange. Name one person. Pardon? So how it's going to work is you've walked into Prebbledon, You're from out of town You've put a dollar in the jukebox You've selected a song that will win over the locals That is how we're doing tonight's throbber

19:11Jeremy Wells:What's at stake? Because I feel like usually when you go into an out of town pub You put a dollar in the jukebox You play the wrong song Do we get our heads kicked in if we get it wrong?

19:20Matt Heath:Do we get deduced, Keezy? Well yeah, I was thinking of getting curb stomped out front I've run that past them, they've said no Even though it is a great Christchurch tradition

19:28Manaia Stewart:I would have been massively into that

19:31Matt Heath:Yeah Instead, when we were in hookah tickah, I had to eat sheep testicles as I lost. Oh, you see, I do that just out of pleasure. Exactly. So we've had to change it because you love eating testicles. I do. So we've got a shot of Tabasco sauce instead for the loser. An entire shot of spicy sauce. Minaya, would you like to play us a little snippet of your throbber?

19:53Jeremy Wells:Yeah, sure. I feel like this pub needs a bit of a nickel back in it.

20:02Jeremy Wells:Bit of Nickelback animal, Jase. I can see your toes tapping. Nah, man.

20:07Matt Heath:This tune rules, man. Keep it going, Tony.

20:14Jeremy Wells:Looks like I'm getting my teeth kicked in here.

20:16Matt Heath:All right, so Mania Stewart, he's gone out on a limb. He's picked Nickelback. Interesting choice. We'll save the voting for shortly, though. I have chosen a song that'll really put lead in your pencil, Hoidi J. Sure. Kick it off, Tony.

20:34Manaia Stewart:Yeah! Yeah! No! Deep inside of me

20:40Jeremy Wells:We'd all love to write our own reviews, kids

20:42Manaia Stewart:Girl, you just don't realise

20:46Jeremy Wells:What you do to me He's got the table up the front, I'll get him there

20:49Manaia Stewart:When you hold it, Tony

20:52Jeremy Wells:Hold on, hold it

20:54Manaia Stewart:Let me know Everything's alright

21:02Matt Heath:I'm hooked on a feeling Tony, don't you shut it off at the drop.

21:07Jeremy Wells:He's already played his one then. That's my song.

21:09Manaia Stewart:That was horrendous. Well, I chose it. I was going to choose a particular song and then I changed my mind because I don't want to get my head smacked in. And this is because the people of Christchurch and particularly of Premalden are a massive, massive backbone. And this is how I think. When I think of Contemporaryans, I think of tough, hard bastards. So I've gone for a fistful of steel by Rage Against the Machine.

21:38Matt Heath:Yeah! It's a bit try-hard. Did you know any of the words, Joe? No. So just remind me, Jason, which decade did that come out? Oh, jeez, they all merge into one. See, you're such a pretender.

21:54Manaia Stewart:Now listen, what we're going to do is we're going to go to a tune and then we'll come back and decide, okay? Beautiful. What is the tune, Keezy?

22:01Matt Heath:This is by a band called ACDC. Yeah, nice. The Hauraki Big Show with Jase, Mike and Keezy. Tune in weekdays at four on Radio Hauraki.

22:16Matt Heath:It's the Hauraki Big Show.

22:19Manaia Stewart:It is, Dave. For over. Yeah, it sure is. I feel very confident actually What was your song called again? Fistful of Steel Rage Against the Machine I feel quietly confident

22:33Jeremy Wells:Quietly?

22:34Manaia Stewart:Yeah, quietly confident

22:35Jeremy Wells:Now obviously there's a few hundred people in the room here But there's about 5 million listening around the country Do we go off the text or do we go off the room?

22:43Manaia Stewart:We said we're going to go off the room So we'll go off the room Are you sure it's 5 million?

22:46Jeremy Wells:Just quickly, yeah team 5 million Just quickly, there's only one shot here But there's only one winner Technically, there's two losers. Should there be two shots for the two losers?

22:56Matt Heath:Yes, obviously, but when I lost and I think Mogi lost in Hookaticka, I was the only one chowing down on sheep plums.

23:04Jeremy Wells:But you were just so keen.

23:06Matt Heath:Yeah, I was like, get out, I'm chowing down on these. I hope I lose.

23:10Manaia Stewart:Well, let's kick off with Minaya's again because I'm pretty sure that's the one that's going down.

23:16Jeremy Wells:And by going down, you mean playing here? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Evidently we're not far enough south to be in the Nickelback.

23:28Jeremy Wells:So that's Animals from Nickelback. Sweet. I'll be getting my teeth kicked in later on at about 6 o 'clock, if anyone's keen to watch that.

23:34Matt Heath:That's right. And if you have just joined us, by the way, we're live from Prebleton at the Bridge Pub for Bear and Pie July. And the idea of tonight's Thursday Throbber is you've arrived at a strange town. You've never been there before. You've got to play a song to impress the locals. Yes. Mania, you've gone for Nickelback Animals. I have gone for just an absolute let in your pencil tune.

23:55Jeremy Wells:You know what I've realised? This is more about crapping on about your own song than it is about what song's good to listen to. Yeah, sure.

24:02Matt Heath:Oh, this is a tune, man. People want to hear this, man. Girl, you just don't realise what you do to me.

24:10Jeremy Wells:I've got to be honest, Kazzy,

24:11Matt Heath:fewer people singing the second time around. All right, so Hooked on a Feeling, that is my choice. Hoity J What was the song You chose again

24:18Manaia Stewart:Well because Cantabrian's are bad bones Fistful of steel By Rage Against the Machine

24:29Matt Heath:Yeah Okay

24:32Jeremy Wells:At the moment I feel like we're going Three shots of Tabasco

24:36Matt Heath:I think we've entirely Lost the room Alright so Let's get the voting going This is going to be Purely done on the vibe In the room Alright We're going to go We're going to go in order of Mania, myself, and then Jase. So, firstly, everyone here in Prebleton tonight, would you like to hear Nickelback Animals, courtesy of Mania?

24:58Jeremy Wells:That's a unanimous reaction. That is a unanimous reaction.

25:02Matt Heath:All right. Would you like to hear, people in Prebleton, would you like to hear Hooked on a Feeling?

25:10Matt Heath:That's pretty good. That's pretty good. I mean there was one guy booing but One guy booing Yeah no one likes that guy anyway And finally would you like to hear Hoody J's try hard Rage Against the Machine Boo

25:28Manaia Stewart:You suck Hoody J

25:30Matt Heath:Oh wow I don't know who yelled that out

25:32Manaia Stewart:I think that's pretty unanimous Two shots at Tabasco

25:39Jeremy Wells:Pour him up for me and Kesey The mad bastard

25:41Manaia Stewart:In the meantime let's play the Hoody J Yeah!

25:44Matt Heath:And actually, Tony, could you just leave Hoity J's mic on so he could sing along to the song? He definitely knows all the words. Fistful of steel. Here you go, New Zealand. The Hauraki Big Show. With Jason Hoyt, Mike Minogue and Keezy. Jeez, best part of that song.

26:03Jeremy Wells:Tell you what.

26:03Manaia Stewart:Trubber, fellas. Trubber.

26:05Jeremy Wells:You say that, Jase, but as I look around, you've cleared the room, unfortunately. Prepleton, you voted for it.

26:10Manaia Stewart:Yeah. Beautiful stuff. Now, hang on, I have to take the punishment.

26:13Jeremy Wells:Hang on, hang on. I'm just bitter because I'm going to take the punishment.

26:16Matt Heath:Before we get into this, we are live at the Bridge Pub in Prebleton, Canterbury. We are here celebrating Bear and Pie July, thanks to the mad bastards at Montice and also the West Coast Pie Company. We just did a throbber where the audience had to choose. What happened was they voted for Jace's because he was third. And made the most noise. And they made the most noise. They were like, oh, traditionally you just make the most noise third. and then they regretted it massively because everyone turned back to their tables and started talking amongst themselves while your song was playing.

26:45Manaia Stewart:They were talking about how much they loved this song. Really? Yeah, they were having serious music discussions, Keezy.

26:52Matt Heath:Yeah, well, that's the thing. You guys voted for that song and instantly the vibe was ruined. Jase, can you just admit to the audience that you're trying to be mogi, you're trying to be cool and choose rage, but you don't actually like that song?

27:03Manaia Stewart:Well, if that's the case, how shit were your two songs? You know what I'm saying?

27:09Matt Heath:Hooked on a feeling, man. That's a whole nucky classic.

27:11Jeremy Wells:You know, when Jase called me and said, hey, man, I don't know if I can do a radio show with Just Keezy. Could you fly down and do your show in the morning and then come down and do the other show? Look, whatever you need, Jase, to get through. I did not think I'd be drinking a shot of...

27:26Matt Heath:Tabasco. Tabasco. Mania Loss, he has to drink a shot of Tabasco. Bottoms up, man. Thank you very much, guys. Yeah, get it in you, mate.

27:33Manaia Stewart:Way you go, baby.

27:41Jeremy Wells:It tastes like a lit cigarette

27:45Matt Heath:Which I actually might duck out for if you don't mind I wish you were here to watch it in New Zealand

27:51Manaia Stewart:That was magnificent

27:52Matt Heath:Was it one of those situations, Minaya, where you didn't think it would be that bad? Yep, definitely Definitely did not think it would be that bad

27:59Jeremy Wells:At least not initially

28:00Manaia Stewart:Jesus I tell you what We've got a special treat coming up. Because on the show quite often when Keezy comes down here, as previously mentioned, his in-laws live here. And he always talks about his mother-in-law's baking. So she baked especially today for the big show. So we're going to be reviewing her food in the next break.

28:25Matt Heath:The Hauraki Big Show with Jason Hoyt, Mike Minogue and Keezy.

28:30Manaia Stewart:Yes indeed, Fleetwood Mac there on the Radio Hauraki Big Show this beautiful Thursday evening at the Bridge in Prebleton. Great times fellas. Now I'm very excited about this. Keezy's mother-in-law has very, very graciously and might I say bravely decided to bake some stuff for the Big Show and Keezy's going to get us to review it. Is that right Keezy?

28:54Matt Heath:That's right Jase. Of course, we're down here in Preble in Christchurch for the amazing month of Beer and Pie July. Yes. Thanks to our friends at Monteith's and also the West Coast Pie Company. Of course, I like beers. I like pies. I also like baking. My mother-in-law today, just before I came out here to the show, she said, would you and your friends like some snacks?

29:13Manaia Stewart:Oh, that's lovely. Yeah, yeah. What's her name?

29:15Matt Heath:I said, first of all, Andrea.

29:16Manaia Stewart:Thank you, Andrea. We appreciate it. That's really sweet of you.

29:20Matt Heath:I said, first of all, they're not my friends. They're my colleagues. Oh, okay. And second of all, yes, but they will review it on the radio. And she was quite confident anyway. And she said, I'll make a selection. Yes, great. So, Manaya, I'd also like you to choose. Would you like a shortbread peanut brownie or a muffin?

29:36Manaia Stewart:Can I just ask about the peanut brownies?

29:38Jeremy Wells:Is there anything special in there?

29:42Matt Heath:Sorry, Manaya. Whenever I ask someone about something on the show, Jase always gets first write a reply. Yeah, go on then, Jase.

29:46Manaia Stewart:What were you asking? I was just asking, what was her name again? Andrea. If Andrea had maybe put something in the lovely peanut brownie. Like what? Well, just to enhance it a little bit, that's all. Well, you don't think her brownies are good enough by themselves? Because I don't want to suddenly be doing the show and be off my head is what I'm trying to say.

30:03Matt Heath:Jase, I think if there was something in the brownie, you'd be able to sniff it out. Yeah, okay, good. What would you like to choose, Manai? Shortbread, peanut brownie or muffin? I'd like to go the brownie, actually. Oh, wow, brownie. Let's see. There we go. Is this the brownie here? Yeah, that's it, yeah. It is? Is it a peanut brownie? Is that what it's called? Peanut brownie? It's a biscuit with peanuts in it. What's that called?

30:23Manaia Stewart:An Afghan, isn't it? No, that's racist. No, no, no.

30:26Matt Heath:Is it? It's a biscuit with peanuts in it. Oh, okay. What would you like, Jace, a muffin or a shortbread?

30:32Manaia Stewart:Oh, look, I'm tempted to go all three. What kind of muffins are we running there?

30:36Jeremy Wells:I think like orange chocolate chip. Yeah, but you also thought this was a brownie.

30:39Manaia Stewart:Okay. Shortbread? I'm going to go with a shortbread.

30:42Jeremy Wells:All right. I'll go first.

30:43Matt Heath:Tuck in, guys.

30:45Manaia Stewart:Oh.

30:47Jeremy Wells:Is this a fortune cookie? Does it have something in the middle of it? Too much flour, it's dry

30:52Matt Heath:How do you rate it, Manai? Now just quickly, I'm not sure if you're aware of the back story My wife, three years ago

30:58Manaia Stewart:Is that how that works? No, we don't do that anymore Oh, we'll see My wife, now you see we don't do it anymore

31:05Jeremy Wells:Is that a shot at Tabasco?

31:07Matt Heath:So three years ago, my lovely partner baked a delicious birthday cake I brought it into the show And as a bit of a gag As a bit of a cheap gag Because we have to be doing gags on the big show Hoity J and Mogi said it was dry Even though it was perfect They said off it

31:23Jeremy Wells:So you want me to say it's not dry?

31:24Matt Heath:No, no, no, I'm just saying We don't have to always be doing gags on the show You could just honestly review that biscuit if you want

31:30Jeremy Wells:Okay, so taste-wise I'm probably not in a position to describe it Because I've just had a shot of Tabasco Which I've just been dry-reaching in the bathroom For the last 15 minutes So I don't know what that tastes like Is Andy in the room with us? Yes Bit too much flour if I'm honest

31:46Matt Heath:No, don't!

31:49Jeremy Wells:Don't! I'm sorry, I've got to give an honest review. I'm sorry.

31:53Matt Heath:You don't know how much flour goes in a biscuit.

31:56Jeremy Wells:Neither does she, evidently.

31:59Manaia Stewart:Oh!

32:04Matt Heath:Shots fired! I warned you this would happen. Alright, Jase, have some shortbread, go on. You want me to be really honest? Yeah. You want me to be honest? Actually, shortbread's a good nickname for you, but yeah, go on. Yeah, good. Alright. For those listening around the world, Hoody J chewing on a biscuit. Chewing on a biscuit. He's taking his false teeth out so he can really get the mouth feel. Look at him. He's deciding which words. Oh!

32:35That.

32:36Manaia Stewart:What's her name? Andrea. Yeah. Is the best shortbread I have ever, ever, ever eaten.

32:49Jeremy Wells:Eat the rest of it.

32:50Manaia Stewart:Nah, it's a bit dry.

32:52Matt Heath:The Hauraki Big Show Podcast.

32:55Manaia Stewart:Listen to The Killers there on the radio. Hauraki Big Show live from the bridge in Prebbledon.

32:59Matt Heath:That's right. Fantastic pub in the Canterbury region. We are here celebrating beer in Pie July. Thanks to our friends, Monteiths. And also the West Coast Pie Company. The first 100 people through the door did get a backbone T-shirt and a fresh pie. Which is bloody ripper.

33:12Jeremy Wells:It was bloody good, Keezy. Jase, if I'm honest, you seem a little bit tired, mate. We are pushing State of O last night. were you?

33:18Manaia Stewart:Yeah I was watching State of O last night. Should we have a bit of league chat? What do you reckon?

33:23Matt Heath:Yeah let's do it. Let's do league chat. Time to chat footy with me, Keezy. What are the Warriors up to? Yeah. It's chat footy with me, Keezy. What are the Warriors up to? I forgot that it said what are the Warriors up to. I thought it was just a generic rugby league sting.

33:41Manaia Stewart:Right, okay.

33:41Matt Heath:Last night State of Origin 3 happened. It was in Sydney. I am a Blues supporter. I would just... Oh, dear. No, Jase, if you could just let me talk about Rugby League for like 10 seconds.

33:54Manaia Stewart:I was just reacting to the audience there, Keezy.

33:57Matt Heath:Can I just say, just quickly, one thing, on behalf of all New South Wales Blues supporters, we don't get it, man. New South Wales does not get State of Origin. Queensland, I'm so sick of them fielding a B team and then them kicking our arses. How many more teams do you need in Sydney? They've got like 10 And we still can't beat Queensland It is the most punishing team for me to support

34:23Jeremy Wells:You summed it up Casey They just don't get Rugby League They don't get Origin And the thing that you're missing is And I think that at least the fella down the back In that glorious Maroons jersey You could understand There's 13 men on the field But it's the 14th It's the Queensland spirit That's the difference isn't it? I've been saying this I said this morning on the Hodaki breakfast up before you guys were opening up. I've never heard of it. But TRB must do their ass on State of Origin every year because the Maroons were paying$3 going into this. And people aren't beating with their head on this one.

34:55Jeremy Wells:They're beating with their heart. And it came off. Jase, you're a big Queenslander.

34:58Manaia Stewart:Oh, look, I'm a massive Queensland fan. And as I said last night on the show, as you'll recall, I believe Queensland's going to take this out on a tide of emotion. And did that happen, Christchurch? Yeah, you see? What was the score again? Pardon? What was the score? Oh. Who got the Wally Lewis medal?

35:17Matt Heath:Oh. Who was your favourite player? Oh, definitely the halfback guy. Well, you're actually right, because Tom Deere and halfback. Oh, yeah, Tom Deere.

35:25Manaia Stewart:Sorry, just slipped my mind there for a second.

35:27Matt Heath:He did get the Wally Lewis medal. Mania Stewart, the thing I noticed, the big difference was just Queensland's tenacity on defence. They were rushing out of the line. New South Wales couldn't do anything. Nathan Cleary couldn't do anything. Yeah. And it was just that there was a bit of emotion because of one of the players for Queensland, Cam Munster, his father, passed away a few days prior. So they were all playing for him. For me, there's something they summon that New South Wales cannot summon.

35:49Jeremy Wells:There were two things. One of them was they had a warrior playing for their team, Kurt Capewell. That was the deciding. No Warriors player in this year's State of Origin lost the game. Mitch Barnett played in the first one. They won. Kurt Capewell played in the second and third. They won as well. Ipso facto, the deciding factor is Warriors players. And I've forgotten what the second one was. to be honest with you, the Tabasco's still going through my system.

36:13Matt Heath:Yeah, if you just joined us, Manajah, just have a shot glass of Tabasco sauce. So, like, another state of origin done, and once again, I am let down as a Blues fan. They are such a punishing team to support because they have all the talent from 1 to 17, 1 to 18, and they just never deliver.

36:29Jeremy Wells:Well, rugby league games are never won on paper, Kesey, and that's the thing you need to learn, mate. Thank you, mate.

36:34Matt Heath:And just quickly, we will look at the Warriors. They are playing this Sunday against the Tigers.

36:37Jeremy Wells:Yeah, a litany of injuries, and interestingly, Jase, as you mentioned, they have brought Tanner Boyden to play half-back. Yeah, I'm happy about that. Because you thought, we were wondering whether they were going to pick Tomari Martin to fill in there, and you said nah.

36:49Manaia Stewart:Yeah, but he's been playing at first five in reserve grade.

36:52Jeremy Wells:Oh, first five.

36:52Matt Heath:You mean 5-8?

36:53Manaia Stewart:Oh, 5-8, yeah. That's right.

36:55Jeremy Wells:Now, what do you think about the flankers they've picked this week?

36:57Manaia Stewart:Oh, they're bloody good. They are, aren't they? Yeah, yeah, really good, man.

37:00Jeremy Wells:And do you think that we will beat the Lions this weekend? Oh, hands down, mate. Warriors play the Tigers Sunday 3.30pm

37:10Manaia Stewart:Hey, coming up on the Big Show, Would You Rather

37:15Matt Heath:Excellent, if you've got any good Would You Rathers by the way, send the three on 3483, every text in the draw for a 50-dollar Reburger voucher, the meat, that means the offspring The Hauraki Big Show with Jason Hoyt Mike Minogue and Kesey

37:28Manaia Stewart:Oh yes indeed, head like a hole there on the Radio Hauraki Big Show live from the bridge in Prebbledon but right now it's time for I don't know

37:43Manaia Stewart:You've got me there

37:44Matt Heath:The Big Show Would You Rather It's so good It's so good Jase

37:50Jeremy Wells:How does this work Jase?

37:52Manaia Stewart:Well basically we put a would you rather scenario to the panel basically and you decide what you'd rather do It's pretty simple, pretty straight forward

38:01Matt Heath:And if anyone listening has never heard of Would You Rather question The idea is that it's a really tough choice There's never an obvious answer Yes Today's one comes in via 3483 And I think it's a real A doozy It's a doozy, it really is Is it a keezy? It's not a keezy, but it's a doozy Would you rather Go out for brunch With your partner and their friends Friends? Their friends So there'll be maybe a table of eight Eight? You and the partner, six, maybe three other couples. And so you've really got to chat with the friends and you've got to dress nice and stuff. Or? Or spend a year in solitary confinement in a South American gulag.

38:47Jeremy Wells:So how well do I know these friends?

38:51Manaia Stewart:Oh, that is tough.

38:53Jeremy Wells:So are they like really good friends or are they a couple of friends where they're a little bit on the rocks and everyone's bitching about one of the other friends?

39:00Matt Heath:So what it is, Manaya, is it's some friends of hers who you've promised you'll go out for brunch, but you've been putting it off for ages. And so you've never met them before. I haven't met them. They're bringing their partners. So in your case, it'd be some guys you've never met before, and you've sort of got to get buddy-buddy with them.

39:15Manaia Stewart:Right, because I just want to establish, if I'm going out for brunch with my partner and their friends, I haven't slept with any of the friends, have I?

39:25Matt Heath:I don't know in your case. Yeah, okay. Has he slept with any of the friends' partners? No, no, so I think, James, just to keep it real easy, you haven't. Oh, okay. So it's just, I know you have.

39:36Manaia Stewart:Back in the day, in my routine days, I probably would have slept with a couple of them. I know.

39:40Jeremy Wells:Here's an interesting question on 3483. Is the gulag unisex? The gulag is...

39:46Manaia Stewart:No, I think they tend to be male-female.

39:50Matt Heath:Just blokes. Wait, wait, wait, so they are unisex?

39:52Manaia Stewart:No, I mean male-female. Separate. Separate, okay. And it's a year in the gulag? Yeah, it's a year in the gulag. South America? South America. So we're talking like... Quite warm. 48, 50 degree heat.

40:03Jeremy Wells:Yeah.

40:04Manaia Stewart:Terrible food. Okay. All that sort of stuff. Mind you... Solitary confinement. I've been out to brunch sometimes and the food's been shithouse. You know what I'm saying? No, no, no.

40:13Matt Heath:I know. But the brunch is only two hours long and it's with your partner and their friend. So it means a lot to your partner.

40:19Jeremy Wells:Here's a question though. Are we talking coffee sort of brunch or are we talking mimosa, potentially beers sort of brunch?

40:27Matt Heath:To be honest, man, I kind of want you just to have coffees at this brunch because last time you did that, you made a fool of yourself. It's that kind of vibe.

40:35Jeremy Wells:Coffee brunch, I don't know the friends.

40:37Matt Heath:But the trade-off is a gulag in South America for a year.

40:41Jeremy Wells:You know what? It's not Siberia. As far as gulags go, you could do worse than South America.

40:45Manaia Stewart:I don't know if you know this. I went to Vietnam for a couple of weeks this year, and I love a hot temperature.

40:52Jeremy Wells:You do, don't you?

40:52Manaia Stewart:I like to get a good sweat on.

40:54Jeremy Wells:Yeah.

40:55Manaia Stewart:And one of the things about solitary confinement is you don't get pestered by people. No, that's right. That would actually be quite a respite.

41:01Matt Heath:It would be quite – jeez, I'm going to have to go gulag there, Keezy. So just confirming, you're locking in, you'd rather be in solitary confinement and a gulag for a year. Yes. And spend two hours with your wife and her friends. Oh, two hours?

41:12Jeremy Wells:Yes. Give me two years in the gulag. Yeah. Two years. Yeah.

41:15Matt Heath:Two years. Okay. I'm going to lock in brunch with the partner.

41:19Jeremy Wells:Yeah, but that's because she's in the room.

41:21Matt Heath:Yeah. What a loser.

41:25Manaia Stewart:Hey, coming up after six What's on the dinner with me, Keezy? Oh yeah

41:32Matt Heath:Hey, that's got the back on board Alright, text New Zealand 3483 What are you having for dinner? And then I will read that out in about ten minutes time And give out re-burger vouchers Yeah, good stuff, mate Such great radio The Hauraki Big Show With Jase, Mike and Keezy Tune in weekdays at 4 on Radio Hauraki.

41:54Manaia Stewart:Yes, indeed. Welcome back, your massive backbones. Great to have your company this Thursday evening. We're live from the bridge in Prebbleton in Christchurch, and it's absolutely going off, fellas. By the way, the big show brought to you by Reburger. That's white. That's white.

42:12Matt Heath:Reburger. Yeah, Reburger. Plenty of Reburger fans down here. That is crave-worthy street food freshly made with Reburger. We're also doing What's on the Dinner in New Zealand, so keep those texts coming in on 3483, every single one in the draw for a$50 Reburger voucher, which is bloody exciting. But we are in Prewood in Christchurch. Hoity J, myself, Keezy, and also Minaya from The Breakfast Show.

42:31Jeremy Wells:Good evening, gentlemen. It's a real privilege to be here, guys. I hope I'm doing mogi justice. Oh, you are, mate.

42:36Manaia Stewart:You're doing a great job. I just want to say, Minaya was just saying to us off air. I'm in a bit of discomfort. He's in a bit of discomfort. Well, he had to scowl the Tabasco sauce, of course, but now he said his undies have formed a kind of tourniquet around his downstairs and he feels too self-conscious to adjust them. I'm sure the people of Pebbledon won't mind if old Manoa adjusts himself. Go on. It's fine. If you're in pain, man. Set up and do it on. If you're in pain, Manoa. There we go. Oh, gross. I don't mean to have a go at yourself. Just readjust them, man.

43:13Jeremy Wells:They had formed a tourniquet around my downstairs and were cutting off blood circulation, which, to be honest, was actually quite a relief after the shot of Tabasco that I took before. Yes.

43:23Matt Heath:It's all happening down here in New Zealand. If you're in the area, by the way, come on down. Still got an hour of the show left to go. And just quickly, while we're on, the fact that Minaya Stewart from the Hodaki Breakfast is in here with us at the moment. Minaya, obviously for you, this is a surreal moment. You're a big fan of the big show from way back. So if you could just speak on that for about a minute or two,

43:41Jeremy Wells:that'd be great. Oh, soak up another minute of your show. It's not enough that I flew down here and covered the first two hours for the both of you. No, there's a real honour and a privilege here. You know, when I woke up this morning at 4.30 and came in to do my own show, I thought, you know what, I hope 12 hours from now I'm still going. Yeah, sure. And here we are. You know what I mean?

43:59Matt Heath:It's still quality, by the way. It's still really good stuff.

44:01Jeremy Wells:Well, this is the thing. Set the bar low and you can never fall under it. Yeah, yeah. And I learned that from you, Jase.

44:06Manaia Stewart:And what the audience doesn't know out there, what the audience doesn't know out there is breakfast hosts are on double the money. of afternoon hosts. That's right. A bit more than that. So shots are on Manaya tonight. If you're short of a shot tonight, or you want a beautiful Montice, just waddle on over here and ask old Manaya. Speaking of which, we've got another bar tab to give away very shortly. How do you win that, Jase? Oh, I don't know. You text in, or you put us on your Instagram and tag us. Hauraki Big Show.

44:39Matt Heath:Yeah, it's pronounced Hauraki. That's good stuff. Up next, we'll have some dinner. In the meantime, an absolute belter from the Buies. The Hauraki Big Show podcast.

44:49Manaia Stewart:The Radio Hauraki Big Show this Thursday evening, live from the Bridge and... Yes, Keezy? Yeah, the Bridge and Preble, didn't it? Oh, you were pointing at me.

44:59Jeremy Wells:You interrupted him to then tell him what he was about to say.

45:01Matt Heath:No, no, no, no. I just had my finger up to come in and say, don't forget, it's brought to you by Montice and West Coast Pie Company. Absolutely.

45:07Manaia Stewart:I tell you what, it's going off here, but right now it's time for...

45:11Matt Heath:Oh, yeah, hey, guys. Text here from Steve. What's on the dinner? With me, Keezy.

45:20Manaia Stewart:I just want to do a room poll. Are we more in favour of what's on the dinner? Do we like that? Yeah. You see, Keezy, the people love it, mate.

45:31Matt Heath:What's on the dinner? They love it. Jase, they're all steamed. They don't know what they want. What's on the dinner with me, Keezy, where I read out texts of what people are having for dinner and then you guys sort of do some chit-chat around that. Is it in your contract to have your name in Every Sting? Yeah, so Every Sting is hosted by a certain member. It's just they've all been you.

45:50Manaia Stewart:I don't know that actually, do I host any? No, I haven't heard one.

45:53Matt Heath:No, you do Leftovers Chat with Hoity J.

45:55Manaia Stewart:Oh, Leftovers Chat, yeah, that's a great sting.

45:58Matt Heath:Rugby Union Chat with Hoity J.

46:00Manaia Stewart:Oh, yes, that's true, yes. And What's Good in the Pervin World with Hoity J. Oh, right, yeah, that one. I love that sting. Can we do that one? This one's... I haven't heard that in ages, actually. Yeah, nah.

46:10Matt Heath:You're doing a lot off-air, though. Right, so I'm just going to read some texts on 3483 of what people are having for dinner, Manaya. You just comment afterwards. Okay. G'day, guys. Greg here. Abbott. Preble. Greg Preble here. Tonight I'm having T-bone steak and mushroom sauce with roast taties, gravy cheese sauce, cauliflower, broccoli... Spear no details, please, Greg. And some sweet baby Ray's barbecue sauce. Right, so Jason's made the vomit noise What's your opinion, Minaya? I don't know if we're doing mushrooms at the moment, are we? Well, like, don't be scared of mushrooms

46:46Jeremy Wells:Just because of one lady No, I think it's pretty fair to be scared of mushrooms

46:50Manaia Stewart:Yeah, maybe later on I'll have some mushrooms later on

46:52Jeremy Wells:Mushrooms are on a cool down for me, if I'm honest

46:54Manaia Stewart:Is there any sort of cracked pepper or lemon zest in that?

46:56Matt Heath:They've just texted Sorry, forgot to mention Also cracked pepper and lemon zest Oh, delicious Yeah, great stuff Yeah, cool Alright, here's a text G'day, guys There's Beverly here. Bev. Tonight I'm having... Is that an old flame, Jase? Probably, man. You made a face. Yeah, yeah. Tonight I'm having a pack of Rothmans and some cheese balls.

47:18Manaia Stewart:Oh, backbone. That is massive backbone. That's a Hoity J kind of meal. Yeah, you keep that up, Beverly. You'll be looking like Hoity J in no time. Oh, that is so good. All she needs is like a can of V or a bottle of bourbon or something. You know what I mean?

47:35Matt Heath:totally. It's a dude. Who we got next? G'day guys. Tony here. Tony Hawk. Tony Hawk. Tony Hawk. No, it's Tony Lyle. Comedian, radio host. G'day Backbones. 500 gram pork leg steaks, roast cumin and pumpkin with steamed broccoli, collie beans and sprouts. Going down here tonight with applesauce and gravy as condiments. Not bad for a Thursday. Thumbs up emoji.

48:01Jeremy Wells:Yeah. Do you guys do this like every day? Yeah, like pretty much. Yeah, okay.

48:05Manaia Stewart:It's the highlight of our show. Yeah, look, I'm happy with the apple sauce. I'm not a big fan of roast pork, to be honest, Minaya. You don't like roast pork? No, I'm not a big fan. Not halal. I like a pork belly. Certainly a pork belly. Oh, for sure. A little lemon zest and a cracked pepper.

48:18Jeremy Wells:Now, will you throw that in the air fryer or are you banging that in the...

48:21Manaia Stewart:Well, actually, that was the thing because I've always struggled to cook pork belly just perfectly. It's the crackling without drying out the meat. So I have been chucking it in the air fryer. Beautiful, mate. Don't be afraid of it. Beautiful.

48:31Jeremy Wells:Are you still throwing a stingray on the barbecue every now and then?

48:34Manaia Stewart:Oh, yeah, I'll chuck a few flaps on there every now and then, for sure. What do you put on that? Oh, a bit of barbecue sauce, a bit of lemon zest and some cracked pepper.

48:42Matt Heath:Good stuff, fellas. What are you having for dinner, Keezy? Oh, sorry, if I could just run the segment here, Manaya, that would be great. Sorry, man. G'day, fellas. Steve here. Hanson. So what you do, Manaya, is you suggest that it might be a famous person. Oh, like a funny last name. Erwin. No, it's just regular old Steve. G'day, guys. Erwin? feeling the economic effects of COVID so I'm having Tuck's dog biscuits Cadbury's drinking chocolate and super wine biscuits, cheers

49:09Manaia Stewart:yeah that sounds, that's another backbone meal, that's the sort of thing I used to eat in my sort of poor student days

49:15Jeremy Wells:yeah well it keeps him full of life doesn't that Tuck's it does, it's as sharp as a knife I've always said that, drinking chocolate and super wine cookies but dry, yeah

49:23Matt Heath:yeah work on that would you, hey look keep the text in on three, well actually one last text on 3483, can I read this one, this one's really caught

49:29Jeremy Wells:in my eye. Okay. What's on the dinner tonight? As many rums as it takes to forget. You can't text your own show, Jason.

49:38Matt Heath:The Hauraki Big Show with Jason Hoyt, Mike Minogue and Keezy.

49:44Manaia Stewart:You're listening to the Radio Hauraki Big Show live from the bridge in Prebbledon. I'm actually watching the dog races here. Some fella up at the bar there suggested I'd make a great jockey, which I thought was a bit harsh.

49:57Jeremy Wells:Especially considering the dogs don't actually have jockeys, Jess.

50:01Manaia Stewart:Back in my day they did, you know what I'm saying? I reckon I could do that racing this time and here comes my ratchet seamer up the back. I'd be bloody great at it.

50:08Jeremy Wells:Well you would, but also the jockeys don't commentate.

50:10Manaia Stewart:Oh yeah, that's true. Good point. Hey, we love giving out advice on the big show and we've got our very own email for that, don't we, Keezy?

50:18Matt Heath:We certainly do. It's time for this segment. Beepity News 69 and gmail.com Get in touch. Get in touch. With the fellas. With the fellas. It's a real email. Meet pattynips69 at gmail.com. You guys voted on the name of that email, by the way, so don't accuse us of being, like, immature or something, you know.

50:41Manaia Stewart:Sure.

50:43Matt Heath:100 % anonymous. If we read out your question, instant$50 re-burger voucher. Beautiful. Wait, so if it's anonymous, how do you know who to give the voucher to? We email them back. Yeah, nah, don't worry about it, Manai. We got it under control, man. This one comes in from anonymous. G'day, fellas. Just after some financial advice. I was asked by a mate of mine to be the best man at his wedding, so obviously I had to organise the stag do. We did the usual paintball, dress him up in a tutu, adult circumcision, etc. Yeah, great stuff. Towards the end of the night, we had planned to go to a local strip club where they have their own in-house currency.

51:17Matt Heath:On the same night as the adult circumcision? I think so. Problematic. All the boys put some dollars towards a lap dance. Can I just say, that is disgusting, I'd never do that.

51:27Manaia Stewart:That is foul. I've never been to a strip club in my life, nor will I ever, all right? I just want to put that on the record. All right. Turns out he was so... I mean, I have never been to it, all right? I just want to make sure that it's definitely on the record. What are some of the best strip clubs you haven't been to? Oh, there's a good one in Wellington, actually.

51:44Matt Heath:That's not too bad. Turns out he was too steamed to get in, which has left me with$480 of in-house currency. The advice I'm after is this. With the volatility in the market right now, do you think it's best to sit on the money for a bit or is it worth cashing in right now?

52:02Jeremy Wells:I guess the first thing is that money's already been sat on and that's probably the first thing they need to consider when dealing with stripper cash.

52:08Matt Heath:So we're talking stripper money here, aren't we? Yeah, he's got$480 of stripper cash, which, Hoody J, you'll know this, goes a long way.

52:15Manaia Stewart:Yeah, I think stripper dollars at the moment are about 55 cents in the dollar.

52:19Jeremy Wells:Oh, are they?

52:20Manaia Stewart:Yeah, about that, yes.

52:21Jeremy Wells:But only redeemable at a strip club. At a strip club, yes. And only the strip club that they were purchased from you were saying? Yes. Yeah, that's right.

52:28Manaia Stewart:You're fire ladies, et cetera, et cetera. Not that I've ever been to one. Fire cats, yeah, yeah, yeah. Well, what is it, Casey?

52:34Matt Heath:I don't know what you're talking about. So do you think you should spend it now? Because here's a question, and Horty J, you might be able to answer this. Can you take your stripper dollars up to some sort of currency exchange and get it back in normal person money?

52:46Manaia Stewart:What you can do, and I did this before I went to Vietnam, I don't know if you guys know I went to Vietnam, is you can take your stripper dollars and get it converted to dong.

52:57Matt Heath:Oh, Vietnamese dong. Yeah, yeah. You can buy dong with your stripper. You can buy dong with your stripper.

53:00Manaia Stewart:And do you buy a lot of dong with your stripper currency? Actually, you get more dong for your stripper money than you'd realise. Is that right?

53:07Jeremy Wells:Yeah, yeah. You get more dong than anything else? Because I've never spent it on that. Right, okay. What do you spend yours on? Well, I've never spent it at all, and of course that's why I've never spent it on that. Okay, hypothetically, Minaya,

53:17Matt Heath:it's just an imaginary world where Minaya hasn't been to a strip club every weekend for the last, like, decade. What would you spend your stripper money on?

53:25Jeremy Wells:Well, can you redeem it anywhere else? Or is it only redeemable at the strip club you purchased? Only at the strip club, yeah. Okay, so I would probably pay Hoyt back for last weekend. Yes, yes, because holy cow, we appreciate that. Yeah, that was a big weekend for us. And then with the leftover change, I might get a can of Coke. I don't know, probably not. Yeah, okay. So, yeah, that would be about it.

53:44Matt Heath:I think you're actually best to sit on the money. Not literally, of course, fellas. And just hold on to it for maybe a decade. Because you go back in there in a decade's time with$480. Oh, no, it's the opposite, isn't it? Yes. You've got to go in there tonight. Yeah, that's right, because of inflation. And blow through it all, if you know what I mean. Yeah. Because you're going to get less and less the longer you leave it.

54:07Manaia Stewart:Actually, the last time I was in Christchurch, I've got some dong slash stripper money to redeem, actually.

54:14Jeremy Wells:You're going to go and redeem that dong tonight?

54:15Manaia Stewart:Yeah, a few fellows are keen.

54:17Jeremy Wells:To share some dong with you in Christchurch?

54:20Manaia Stewart:How much you got? Could you shout everyone in here at the bridge? Would anyone here be interested in coming with old Hoity J to exchange his dong? Okay, yeah, good. I'm in. Well, there you go.

54:31Matt Heath:It doesn't really help the person who emailed, though, does it? No, no, it doesn't. But just rip in right now, man. And to be honest, you've also got a$50 Reburger voucher, so that is one hell of a night. We're going to go into an absolute ripper of a tune from ACDC, which I've crowbarred into the playlist. Just quickly, I'd like to give a big shout-out to the scenic Hotel Cotswold here in Christchurch for putting us up. Yeah, backbones. And I tell you what, once Horty J's done at the strip joint, he'll be back there sleeping like a baby. I was just going to say, you don't want to put a bit of distance between those two?

54:59Matt Heath:Nah, nah, nah, nah, nah.

55:00Manaia Stewart:Well, I did mention the cleaning ladies today, and that could get a bit dicey.

55:06Matt Heath:A whole lot of Rosie. ACDC on the Big Show. The Hauraki Big Show, with Jason Hoyt, Mike Minogue, and Keezy. Do, do, do.

55:16Manaia Stewart:Yes, indeed, Pennywise here on the radio. A whole darky big show live from the bridge in Peppleton. You know, fellas, we've had a fantastic time here, but I feel like the night should continue. What's your sort of vibe for the rest of the night?

55:30Jeremy Wells:Well, obviously, we've got about 480 dong to redeem, so we'll do that. That's probably our first port of call, Jake. Yeah, I think so. That's probably the first place we go to. I don't know. Would you like to go after that? What are you thinking?

55:41Matt Heath:If I could just interject here, guys. G'day, Keezy here. Hope you guys are well. Sorry, are we going to sting for this? No. We don't have a sting for this particular situation. Look, we're in Christchurch. We're at the Bridge Pub in Prebleton. Yes. Celebrating Beer and Pie July. Last night was Mania Stewart's birthday. Yeah. He turned 34. He celebrated by eating takeout and watching Star Wars. As you should. And that's fine. Nothing wrong with that, man. It's your birthday. You do what makes you happy, which I'm a big fan of. I think tonight, though, we should celebrate with Mania Stewart. I want to have a really good night.

56:16Matt Heath:A night that we'll all remember. So, Jase, when I say we'll have a night that we all remember, what comes to your head? What do you think we should do?

56:23Manaia Stewart:Well, as previously mentioned, fellas, we're staying in a beautiful location. Down in the Cotswolds, yeah? Yeah, down in the Cotswolds. I thought we could perhaps come over to Hoity J's room. Okay. I could make us some herbal teas. We could put on a really nice doco or something like that. I could order in a pizza or two, and we could just have a nice, chill evening celebrating Maniah's birthday.

56:50Jeremy Wells:I know you've been saying this all evening, Jase. We're actually not the same age, so that sounds awful to me. Sure. If you don't mind. We're good to go around here, fellas. We're out here in Prebbledon.

57:02Matt Heath:So the 411 on Christchurch is obviously... Obviously the bridge is the first port of call for any self-respecting evening. First port of call is the bridge pub in Prebbledon. You go there until about 5 in the morning. and then you kind of head out to sort of Hagley Park there. You just sort of wander around there by yourself.

57:21Jeremy Wells:What, have a net session?

57:22Matt Heath:No, no, no, not a net session. You just wander around there by yourself in the dark, and you definitely won't get smacked over. Oh, wake up in the Avon River.

57:28Jeremy Wells:No, where are we going tonight? What's the plan after?

57:33Manaia Stewart:The casino. The casino, that seems to be the sort of order of the day, actually. I was out before having a vape, and everyone was telling me the casino is the place to go in Christchurch, apparently. I'm just a little bit worried, and this is my concern about us going out on the town, is Keezy's shoes. Yeah, they're very white. They're very white. Very white. They're very big, and I just feel like we're going to be set upon by the locals of Christchurch because he's wearing those monstrosities.

58:03Matt Heath:If there's one thing I know about Christchurch, they love white stuff. Okay? I'm going to be totally fine. I'm going to be sweet as. I've got my big white new balancers on. It's going to go down an absolute treat. Okay. But if you do see us out and about, I don't know, yell backbone at Jay, slap him on the ass. I don't know. Shout us some drinks or something.

58:24Manaia Stewart:Well, I tell you what, we'll do this. We'll go and redeem my dong.

58:27Matt Heath:Yep.

58:29Manaia Stewart:We'll go for a few quiets in town. Yep. Then back to Hoity J's. No, casino. Oh, the casino. Back to Hoity J's. We'll all get in our jammies.

58:39Jeremy Wells:Yep.

58:40Manaia Stewart:Well, hang on. We'll make a soft world. Oh, a pillow fort. Yeah. a pillow fort in the hotel room.

58:47Jeremy Wells:Hang on, whose birthday is this?

58:48Manaia Stewart:And we'll watch a doco together.

58:51Jeremy Wells:Never mind that. We're going to stay here at the bridge. We're going to have a few more frothies, then we're heading into the casino. As long as they sell Montes.

58:58Manaia Stewart:Yeah, good call, mate.

59:00Matt Heath:Yeah, good on you, Benaiah. Tell you please a sponsor right there. The Hauraki Big Show with Jason Hoyt, Mike Minogue and Keezy.

59:16Manaia Stewart:We'll be a mad bastards done and dusted for your Thursday night. What an absolute privilege it's been to be down here in Christchurch at the bridge. Thank you to all the folks at the bridge. Big round of applause for them.

59:30Matt Heath:Backbones. Yeah, that's right, Jason. I'd like to give a big shout out to the Backbones at Monteith for making this whole thing possible. Also, the West Coast Pie Company for giving the first hundred people through the door a free pie. How good? And a Backbone T-shirt. It's bloody great. It's Bear and Pie July. Manaya Stewart, a big thank you to you as well for filling in for old Mogey.

59:49Jeremy Wells:Thanks for having me. To be honest, since I woke up this morning, if my eyes have been open, I've been talking into a microphone, and I couldn't have thought of two better people to do it with than Hamish and Andy. But to be with you guys has been a great evening as well.

1:00:01Manaia Stewart:Yeah, good stuff, mate, good stuff. Well, listen, I'll tell you what you do. You guys go and do your thing on the town, then come back to Hoardy Jays for a bit of a pyjama party.

1:00:10Matt Heath:What do you say? Okay, Minaya, I know we talk a lot of shit on this radio show, but seriously, a tradition is that once we're out having beers, we go back to Hoity J's room, we order pizzas, and then we watch a movie on Sky. Well, you guys can feel free to do that. No, no, no, no.

1:00:25Jeremy Wells:But I'm at the casino. Who's coming with me?

1:00:28Manaia Stewart:And a massive thank you to all you backbones that came along as well. We greatly appreciate it. Until next time, see you later. See ya. Woo!