FULL SHOW: LIVE From The Caboose

0:01The Hodaaki Big Show with Toledo's. All the good stuff, no nasties. Try it today. The Hodaaki Big Show with Jason Hoyte, Mike Minogue and Keyzie. What an intro. How you doing? Your old mate Andrew here. I'm doing the Hodaaki Big Show because of course Jason Hoyte, Mike Keyzie, they've just done the Transalpine Train. From Chit Chit to the beautiful Hokka Tika for tomorrow's Hokka Tika's Wild Foods Festival. Now you can still get your tickets, the Wild Foods, hang on, where are the tickets? Wildfoods.co.nz, there we are, thank you very much. Now on the show this afternoon it is train themed, toot toot, giddy up, get on board.

0:38We're going to be playing back the best bits from the big show's train adventure. Of course there was that massive warm up party just last night at that Richmond Club critic bar in Christchurch. I don't know whether they've recovered from that. It looked wild. So, train themed for the Hauraki Big Show this afternoon with your old pal Angie. Hope your choice is. Hey, hey, it's Friday. Got some black keys for you shortly. And of course, thanks to our sponsors Toledo's electrolytes because we're adults and hydrating is sexy. Hauraki. The Hauraki Big Show. Weekdays from four on Radio Hauraki. Garbage on Hauraki, stupid giggle.

1:17That's of course the drum loop taken infamously from the Clash's train in vain, which funnily enough, I'm just about to play in a second because the big show today is train-themed. Jason Hoyt called me up and said, Ange, do you want to do the big show on Friday? I said, are you going to be there? He said, no. So I said, great, love to. They are currently, well, they have just done the Transalpine Crossing from Christchurch to Hookaticket. The Wild Pooch Best Bowl is going down tomorrow. They're going to be there. And so we're playing back bits from the train.

1:48Keyzie:On board the Transalpine. We're on the tracks and off the rails with Jase, Mike and Keezy. Oh, lucky. Oh, g'day, you mad bastards. It's the fellas from the big show here on the Transalpine Express and absolutely loving every second of it, aren't we, fellas? Sure are, Jase. We've just arrived at Arthur's Pass station, so we are a third of the way there, I think. Yes. And they're just attaching an extra train to help us get down the hills. Yeah, that's right. It's called the Old Master. Is it? It is, yeah. An extra engine, Keezy, not an extra train. Yeah, I was going to say, is it an extra carriage or something?

2:31Keyzie:You're going to have two trains, Garen. Why would you have two trains back-to-back, Keezy? The thing about that is it makes no sense. I mean, that's just madness. No, sometimes there are two trains back-to-back if it's like an extra heavy load. Wow. Oh, you know. Okay. Regardless, the journey so far has been absolutely bloody beautiful. It is lovely, isn't it? And it's a lot of sort of mum and pop passengers who are down here. A lot of people wearing their Lycra for, they've gone on like an e-bike tour of the South Island or catch the Transalpine. One guy is wearing one of the great wigs. Oh, that guy's a wig.

3:09Keyzie:That is sensational. It's a double hat. It's almost a double whammy. He's got the long hair. It's a sort of an auburn, tanny sort of a colour, isn't it? A light brown that's sort of down to the collar. And then on top of that is quite clearly a cheap wig, black in colour, plopped right on top like a dead cat. But he also has a patch that's sort of yellowy white. Yeah. Like you'd get if you were a heavy smoker. That's right. Or the stains that used to get on your fingers from your durries. He's certainly quite the character. But I tell you what, it has been absolutely majestic. And there's something, isn't there, fellas, about the slow rocking of a train that just soothes the soul.

3:54You know, one of the great regrets for me is that I'm not on the Hammer because this is Hammer time. What, the train, the Transalpine? It really is. They've got a great bar here. It's beautiful. It's a very comfortable sort of a ride. But the idea of having a five-hour session on the Hammer, oh, my God, opportunity missed here, fellas. you should be on it. Responsibly, of course, and arriving in Greymouth. Just a reminder, we are on the Transalpine Express. We're heading over to the Hookaticka Wild Foods Festival. We'll be there tomorrow. And if you stick around and stay tuned on Hodaki, you'll hear a few more updates of our journey across the old Alpine there, eh, fellas?

4:29Yeah, mate. More from the train coming up shortly. If you want to get yourself tickets to the Wild Foods Festival, wildfoods.co.nz. Here is that tune with the most excellent drum loop. It's the Clash's train and bane. Hauraki afternoon. The Hauraki Big Show with Jace, Mike and Keezy. Tune in weekdays at four on Radio Hauraki. Angie here on Hauraki, filling in for the Hauraki Big Show. Jeez, we need something to brighten us up after that tune because it's Friday. Stained on Hauraki that was outside. Now here's something that Jace, Mike and Keezy prepared earlier today from the Transalpine train.

5:06Keyzie:The Radio Hauraki Big Show. en route to the Hoka Tika Wild Food Festival. Hauraki. Yeah, welcome back, you massive backbones. Well, the fellas, as you know, are on the Trans Alpine Express. We've just had a little stop, haven't we, fellas, at Arthur's Pass? And I finally got the chance to have a quick vape. I've been hanging out for that since about 9 o 'clock last night when my charge ran out. Been in an absolute hurl of a mood. So you haven't enjoyed any of the journey so far? Oh, look, I've loved the journey. and I've been slightly upset at you guys being on your phones the whole time, taking heinous photos of Hoody J's shoes and face.

5:47Keyzie:Well, I've been enjoying the absolute majesty of the landscape around me. Well, we've been learning a lot on this trip too and the early explorers of this area didn't seem to be enjoying it a lot. The names of all the places. No, that's right. We did a little trip there, didn't we, and early on, just as we got through the Banks Peninsula. there was a place called Mount Horrible and not too far away from that was Mount Disappointment, named by early settlers travelling by horse or on foot and the train's very slow exhausting of course and often dangerous so they gave them these names, horrible and disappointing I don't know about you guys they've probably travelled for like 20 days, probably 6 or 7 people have died on the arduous journey, they've been told all about this place, and I'm just imagining an old fellow in his trilby hat standing there going, once they arrive, oh, well, this is a disappointment.

6:44Keyzie:This is a shithouse. You know what I mean? What a disappointment this is. Yes. Yes, it is. And you can't imagine really having to journey through this land either on foot or on horseback. It would be a bit of a wound as well. It's so tough, yeah, because the roads wouldn't be there, would they, Mogi? There was no roads. That's the thing about these places. When they were discovered, and even in pre-Maldi days, there were no roads. You're joking. That'd be difficult, man. Oh, Mount Difficulty. Mount Difficulty. That's another place altogether. That's very confusing. But we've still got another three or four hours of the train journey left, which I'm excited about.

7:18And after a pretty interesting live show last night, critic bar at the Richmond Club there, it's nice just to relax. Yeah, it is.

7:26Keyzie:Well, there's something very soothing about being on a train. It just rocks you gently, doesn't it, fellas? Yeah. Especially when you're surrounded by such spectacular scenery. If you've never done it, you simply must. Well, you simply must. If you do want to do it, by the way, greatjourneysnz.com if you want to experience New Zealand's most breathtaking train journey. It will take your breath away. It really will. Tell you what, I had a very nice ham and cheese croissant as well. So did I. It was yummy, eh? It was very good. He took like an hour to eat his. I had a big breakfast. We'll see you soon, New Zealand.

8:00The Hauraki Big Show with Jace, Mike and Kesey. Tune in weekdays at four on Radio Hauraki. Soon for your Friday audio save on Hauraki. Original fire. Kia ora, your old pal Angie here back in the hot seat. Filling in for Hauraki, the Hauraki Big Show. Jace, Mike and Keezy. Currently, as far as I can tell, a few pints deep at Monteith's because they're in hooker ticket. The Wild Foods Fest going down tomorrow. You can still get your tickets wildfoodfestival.co.nz. They did earlier catch the trans-alpine train. They just, in this bed here, pulled out of Arthur's Pass.

8:36Keyzie:On board the Transalpine to the Hookaticka Food Festival. It's Jase, Mike and Keezy. The Radio Horaki. Big show. Horaki. Yeah, welcome back, you massive backbones. Now, we're leaving the Arthur's Pass now. Great to see a lot of people getting their tramping gear on, fellas, and getting off the train here, heading into the mountains. How exciting. While it pisses down with rains. Bloody beautiful, isn't it? Yeah, the weather's really turned as we've gotten up to Ars' Path, it used to be called. Yes. Ars' Path. It used to be called Ars' Path, and they've renamed it to Arthur's Path. Really? Because there's a very heavily religious area back in the 1840s, 1850s, that led to the change from Ars' Path to Arthur's Path.

9:25Why would they call it Ars' Path? Is it for the reason I'm thinking right now? Yeah. Really? Well, if you see it from further back, Keezy, over my right shoulder here, and if you're looking down the valley, it has a striking resemblance to an arse. It does. So if a man was lying, or woman, was lying face down, arse in the air. Preferably a man for this yarn. For this yarn. Then in between the two mountain ranges, it looks like arse's path. Right. Because you've got to go straight down the guts. It's interesting, too, because we are just entering right now the longest train tunnel in the South Island.

10:01Oh, it's spooky, isn't it? It is spooky.

10:03Keyzie:You should blow your whistle, your train whistle. Oh, my God, I forgot my train whistle. It's down by my other seat there. Oh, no. But if we're entering a tunnel that is the longest in the South Island in Arthur's Path, what is this? Where are we now? I don't know. Something around the column. It might be Arthur's Column. Yes. Right, okay. We're going deep into the column right now. If you can imagine the two mountain sides on either side, now we're going deep into the column. It's very dark, too. It's kind of spooky. That's right. It's the unknown, isn't it? Yeah, I feel like I'm not allowed to be here.

10:43It's very warm. It feels like home. Yeah, real familiarity somehow.

10:49Keyzie:And I tell you what, it's very tight as well. There's not much room on either side. There's no room on either side. You feel like the wall's really pressing in on you. It's really closing in, yeah. It feels like we shouldn't be really running a train through here.

11:06We'll be back with more updates after this.

11:12That's a free one. Absolute degenerates. You can check out the action on the Hauraki socials, at Radio Hauraki NZ, or at the Hauraki Big Show. on to another train theme to tune. One of my all-time favourites for Ocean Colourzine. It's the day we caught the train on Hauraki.

11:39Heading the stage at 4pm next weekend as part of Manuka Fuel's symphony, it's The Exponents. Yeah, they're doing it all over again. It's White as Love on Hauraki with Angie filling in for the Hauraki Big Show. currently gallivanting in Hokitika pre the Wild Foods Festival. Now, of course, I'm presuming the exponents will be sung at some point tonight during the rugby, which you can tune into right here after the big show, 7.05, Hurricanes versus Force. You've got the ACC calling it right here on Radio Hauraki. After the break, more of the big show gallivanting on the Transalpine from earlier today.

12:15It sounds like it got pretty loose. It's also train-themed, so if you've got a favourite, Train, tune, gives a text. 3483 on Hauraki. The Hauraki Big Show with Jace, Mike and Keezy. Tune in weekdays at four on Radio Hauraki. Yeah, and me too. G'day, Angie here. How you doing? If you're wondering why I'm kind of taking over your wireless, the Big Show, fellas, they are working, working the room probably at Monteith's in Hokitika. You can check out all the action on their socials, Radio Hauraki Big Show at Radio Hauraki NZ. see the fun, the frivolity and what went down on that trans-alpine train.

12:53Now I do have bits of that train ride coming up here. They've recorded it for our listening pleasure. Lucky us. It's also a train-themed big show so if you've got any train-themed tunes you want to hear. I've done Ocean Colour Scene. That was Choice. Did The Clash's Train in Vain. I've got one for The Prince of Darkness coming up too but 3483. Get in touch. Big cheers to Dolitos. 10 litres keeping us hydrated with those electrolytes. See we're all grown-ups here. Here's Muse Uprising. Primal Scream for you next on Hauraki.

13:31Primal Scream rocks on Hauraki with Angie. Plenty of sports to get your rocks off to over the weekend. Of course, 7pm right here on Hauraki. You've got the ACC calling the super rugby. And then, of course, on Sunday with the cricket, the first of the South African T20s. You've got 7pm. Lee Hart, Jeremy Wells and G-Lane calling the cricket that ACC coverage all cheers to Razine and Midland Brick. Now, very soon, more of what went down on the trans-alpine train with the Hauraki Big Show fellas, right after this genius train-themed tune from the Prince of Darkness.

14:06The Hauraki Big Show with Jason Hoyt, Mike Minogue and Kesey. The man posthumously honoured with the Lifetime Achievement Award at the Brit Awards just recently, Ozzy Osbourne, crazy train on Hauraki. Of course, train-themed today for the Hauraki Big Show, being that the Big Show fellas did the Transalpine Crossing earlier. They've recorded bits for us. They talked a lot about, shall we say, animals' anatomy? Off the rails is what I'd call it.

14:36Keyzie:On board the Transalpine. We're on the tracks and off the rails. with Jase, Mike and Keezy. Horaki. Yeah, thanks for that, Angie. We're still... She's a mad bastard. She is mad, old Angie. We're still going through the tunnel at the moment. We've regathered our composure. It's fair to say that we were a little bit thrown when we initially entered, but it's all G now. We've settled. Now, in that two-song break there, we managed to get the correct name. It's Satan's Column. Oh, Satan's Column, yes. Is that what it's called? Wow. Who is naming these places? But look, I'm kind of used to being in here now.

15:16It's not very inviting from the outside. No, certainly not.

15:18Keyzie:But very comforting inside. Yeah, I'm enjoying it now. At first I was kind of like, what? What's going on? But now I'm like, I kind of want to do it again. Yeah, totally. Totally. But last night was good, eh, fellas? Oh, the critic bar. The critic bar at the Richmond Club there. Teezy got a win. I did get a win in the throbber. It was an anonymous throbber. There was a punishment. and Mogi had to eat a snail from the Wild Food Festival. Hoorijay, you had to eat a large portion of bull's testicle. How are you feeling about that today? Listen, fellas, I wish I could have been more manly about it.

15:52Yeah, you're a disgrace.

15:54Keyzie:Can I say that? But can I just say, in terms of the bull testicle, it was much creamier than I expected, and that threw me. Right, okay. Yeah. You were saying it exploded in your mouth. It literally exploded in my mouth. But also, it was a weird combination of creaminess and sinew. Yes. You were saying it was pretty moorish. It was, well, once you got used to the taste. And you had plenty of time to get used to it because you'd tootled about 9 ,000 times. Yeah, I was really genuinely gagging. Yeah, well, you can't. But then. Guys, can we just keep this track? Yeah, no. Can we keep this chat on the rails, please?

16:38Keyzie:Sorry, but I got it down eventually. Yeah, good. Would you go back for more? Oh, look, now that I've had it, it's an acquired taste. Yeah. The old bull testicle. But I'm very intrigued to see what they're going to throw at us at the Hokitika Wild Food Festival tomorrow. Jizz. It's going to be, yeah, there's bull semen. Yeah. You'll be drinking plenty of that. My understanding was because we've been challenged to a boat race of bull semen, bull jizz. Now, my understanding was that when you were doing these challenges, it was a shot glass, but in fact it's a pint. Yeah. It's a pint of bull semen.

17:14A pint. Stop saying it. It's making me queasy.

17:17Keyzie:I honestly thought that that was bollocks. It is from bollocks.

17:26Keyzie:But it's true, and we have been challenged. I just see bloody, you know, drinking a pint of bullseam. No, look. It's one of those things, isn't it? It's tricky because I've got no desire really to neck any bullseaman but the competitive streak in me. Yeah, in you. Yeah. We'll just throw it down. There'll be dribbling out the sides. God, it's going to be horrendous. And the other thing as well, of course, which I didn't realise, freshly prepared. Freshly prepared. Straight out of the old tap there. Old Park Sun will be working the handles. Yeah, yeah. Back to you, Angie. You can catch the fellas at the Wild Foods Festival tomorrow if you're in the region.

18:10Wildfoods.co.nz for tickets. Bands like Tadpole, Dave Dobbin, Sona Flair playing. Here are some Kiwi Legions. It's LMNRP. Hauraki Afternoon. The Hauraki Big Show with Jason Hoyt, Mike Minogue and Kesey. Living Colours, cult of personality. On Hauraki with Angie here filling in for the Hauraki Big Show. We let them out into the wild. They've gone rogue. Last night you would have heard doing a warm-up party with Monteith at the Richmond Club Critic Bar. This morning jumped onto the Transalpine train. They've recorded from there. You can hear it in their voices. Last night was a little bit large.

18:46So without further ado, again, from the train.

18:50Keyzie:The Radio Hauraki Big Show. En route to the Hokitiko Wild Foods Festival. Hauraki. Yeah, great stuff, Angie. Thanks for that, mate. Now, fellas, we had a very interesting hotel experience last night. This is the great thing about being on the road, you get to stay in different places. Last night, I would have to say, was very unique. Yeah, well, I mean, I would go as far as saying it's probably the worst accommodation we've ever been put in. Yeah, that's right. And we've shared accommodation before. Yeah. Yeah, this is hands down the smallest. It was like something out of sort of Eastern Europe, I'd say.

19:29It was like a Chechnya. Yes. During a war. Yeah. Yeah. Very small. Very small. And it was like a safe saving, space saving was obviously pretty high on the priority list there. It was. And I sent a photo to my wife of me lying in bed and my arms stretched out and I could almost touch the toilet door. Yes. and it was a very interesting toilet shower set up too because it was like this rounded little cubicle. Half of it was the toilet. It was like if you picture a third of a wheel of cheese, half of that is a toilet, the other half is a shower. Very, very weird. But no cheese in it. But not without cheese.