FULL SHOW: LIVE FROM WINDROSS

9:34Mike Minogue:Yeah, right. So your vibe is that we took it out or we drew. Yeah, okay. Now, before we announce, Jase.

9:40Keyzie:That's not what I thought your vibe was, but okay, yes.

9:42Mike Minogue:Now, Jase, before we announced, how pleased were you with the round?

9:48Keyzie:I've got to be honest with you. It was real solid. We had the two backbones with us. Curt and Joe. Curt and Joe. And it was probably the best we've ever played. Oh, God, we got pumped. Boogie. I was very proud of the fellas.

10:09Mike Minogue:Yeah, so get this, Moggy. As a group, we had three birdies. Yeah. We had five pars and only one bogey. Right. Which is really, really great going. And none of us were really good golfers. We've lost. What the hell's going on? You can't tell me all of that. Two under, mate. That is bloody good. Two under, man. Yeah, it's unbelievable. Right, so we've been hammered. Okay, let's go. Now the official result is...

10:34Keyzie:Are you going to give the scores?

10:35Mike Minogue:The Big Show shot... 34. 34, the Big Show shot overnight, which is really great. We lost.

10:45Keyzie:The Breakfast Show, Moggy, shot 33.

10:54Mike Minogue:Are you pleased now that you made us put this on the line again and we are now doing the final Breakfast Show of the year? Look, 100%. And if it was going to go any way, it was probably going to go that way, that we're going to get pipped at the post, fellas. How good. Do you know what's funny, though? We had a debrief, talked to Jerry and Minaya, and Minaya was like, seriously, Jerry played terrible, I played terrible. One of their winners, Charlie, had an absolute blinder. Right. And so if it wasn't for Charlie, we would have won comfortably. Yeah, right. Well, I do think it's weird that they got to even include their scores in it.

11:25If we did a countback where it was just breakfast versus... We should do that. Where it's breakfast versus the drive show.

11:33Keyzie:Look, I've got to say I'm gutted by that result. I would rather lose by 15 shots than one shot. And there's so many little moments throughout the morning where it was like, that was so close. There was one. And again, pipped by an inch.

11:51Mike Minogue:There was one where, and when you're putting in golf, and this is boring for anyone that doesn't play, but if you're about two metres away or closer, you get someone to pull the flag out of the hole. I putted it probably like a two-meter putt. I can't remember exactly, but it went in, hit the flagpole, and then jumped out again. Oh, right. If I had sunk that, it would have been a draw. Yeah. And so it's just stupid stuff like not pulling the flag out. So once again, it's Keezy's fault. That's a shame. Yeah. It is my fault. I didn't want to do it in the first place. We've lost again, and now we're covering the breakfast show.

12:19Keyzie:Well, I am gutted. I am gutted, I'll be honest. But, you know, as we said, it was beautiful out there, and the fellas played real solid. everyone pitched in where they needed to and we just... We fell short. We fell short.

12:34Mike Minogue:And if anyone's wondering when is this breakfast show going to be, it is the final show of the year, Friday, December 19th. The Big Show will be doing two shows. Jeez, I'm busy, I think.

12:42Keyzie:Yeah, what was it? The 19th, was it?

12:45Mike Minogue:The Hauraki Big Show with Jase, Mike and Kesey. Tune in weekdays at four on Radio Hauraki.

12:51Keyzie:Yes, indeed. Lincoln Park there on the Radio Hauraki Big Show this beautiful Wednesday afternoon live from Windross Farm Golf Course. We've given Mogi the bad news. He's taken it like a champion. As a team, we've absorbed it. We're looking at the positives and just fizzing at the prospect of ending the year with two shows. So it's all going to be good. Oh, we wanted to lose. Yeah, totally. Nothing would make me happier than robbing those guys of the opportunity to bore the country with that breakfast content they roll out. Exactly. Yeah, exactly. It's a victory, can I say, for New Zealand. It is.

13:30For all New Zealand.

13:31Keyzie:It's a victory for the listeners. Thank you. Now, fellas, you know at the moment I'm in the process of trying to find a new place to live. Yeah, that's right. Looking at apartments and things, aren't you? An apartment and the CBD is our preference. And she's proving a bit of a whore of a task. Now, ultimately what we want is three bedrooms.

13:50Mike Minogue:Right, so that's because you've got your daughter still staying with you and you want a guest room. We want a guest room. Yeah, two bathrooms.

13:55Keyzie:Oh, look, we could live with one bathroom, but an en suite would be good, plus a main bathroom. A loft is certainly something. A loft? And an apartment? Yeah, well, you know, maybe two levels. Yeah, sure. Possibly. But the thing that's really tripping us up, and it surprised me, is looking at properties, the lack of sex dungeons. Yeah. You would be amazed. It never occurred to me that when you're looking for a house to live in, that there wouldn't be a sex dungeon in it.

14:29Mike Minogue:Well, just because I don't even know that, you know, when you say sex dungeon, is that something that your whole family requires? Is that like a non-negotiable?

14:37Keyzie:Oh, no, it's just me and my wife. Right, okay, yeah. And assorted guests.

14:41Mike Minogue:Yeah, okay. And does it have to be like a classic dungeon underground? Well, that's the thing. In my head, I'm thinking dungeon, that's going to require another level. And if you're in an apartment, it's going to be tricky. A loft and a sex dungeon.

14:54Keyzie:And that's what we're finding out, Mogi. I mean, we're perfectly happy, of course, to have a sort of fourth bedroom and just black out the windows. That's what I was thinking. You know what I mean? We can adapt in that sense. But it's one of those things you find out when you're looking for a property that you never sort of factor in when you start off. You know what I mean?

15:12Mike Minogue:And have you tried typing in sex dungeon into Trade Me as a filter?

15:17Keyzie:Yes, sex dungeon has been typed in, Kesey. I think we've come across three at this point, and they're all filthy. Yeah, they tend to be. Right, so you want a spick and span one. One of them actually had a body in it. Right. So, you know, we weren't keen on that. You know, and if there's anyone out there listening, actually, in terms of, you know, they know a place in the CBD with three bedrooms, en suite, main bathroom, and sex dungeon, if they could text through on 3483 and let me know. Yeah, right, okay. Would you settle for a wine cellar or even a butler's pantry? Oh, look, at a stretch I could do a butler's pantry.

15:56Keyzie:But, you know, you've got to have room to swing the whip. That's right. And you do sort of need, I think, a solid door. There's nothing like walking into a sex dungeon and hearing the clatter of steel as the door swings too. Yes. You know, those bifolding MDF doors don't really cut it. No, no. What about a scullery? Would a scullery work? Well, a scullery could work as well, but you want to have something that drowns out the screams. Yes. You know what I mean?

16:23Mike Minogue:Surely you could get some egg cartons and put them on the wall and stuff. Or you're renting, aren't you? So it's quite hard.

16:28Keyzie:Yeah, it's very hard. You can't start putting egg cartons up on the walls when you're renting, Keezy.

16:33Mike Minogue:Yeah, right.

16:34Keyzie:But if anyone does know, 3483 Hoity J Sex Dungeon.

16:40Mike Minogue:Sorry, is that what you want them to text? Oh, no.

16:42Keyzie:I mean, if they know of a sex... I mean, it could be removed from the property altogether. Yeah, right, okay. Oh, yes. You know, it would be in a storage unit or something. A garden shed?

16:52Mike Minogue:No, that's just being silly. Oh, okay, is that me being silly, is it? Do you like The Cure? Oh, yeah. The Hauraki Big Show with Jason Hoyt, Mike Minogue and Casey.

17:02Keyzie:The Cure there on the radio, Hauraki Big Show this Wednesday afternoon. Let's talk some TV. What's on the telly with Mike Minogue?

17:16Keyzie:Hey!

17:20Keyzie:Yes! Yes! Yeah! Fellas, last night I watched a new show, started a new show called Pluribus. Yes.

17:31Mike Minogue:Oh, that's the Breaking Bad one. Pluribus, that's right. It's the guy from Breaking Bad, Vince Gilligan. Vince Gilligan, yeah. It's his next project following that. Huge success. It's a horror, which surprised me somewhat. Oh, good. And it starts out, and it's immediately gripping a bunch of nerds, I like to call them. Nerds.

17:49Keyzie:Sort of keezy, pugsy, sort of gamer boys. Sort of that sort of thing, yes. But with, if it's possible, less sex appeal. Oh, okay. Yeah, that makes sense. And they're out in the middle of nowhere with some of those big satellite dishes there. One of the nerds has made a discovery, and there's a transmission, a message being sent from outer space. And they're just trying to decipher what this thing is. They're very excited. as only nerds can get when it comes to that sort of thing. And they finally work out what it is. They get to deciphering and putting into effect what their hypothesis is. Right.

18:26And then cut away from that excitement to a woman who's promoting a book that she's selling. She's an author. She doesn't like what she makes. And she's with her agent. She's doing a sign-in at a local bookstore. And then they go off and they have a drink. and all of a sudden the locals begin acting very, very strangely. So it becomes clear that whatever has come from out of space is starting to have an effect on the population of the world. There's fires, there's crashes, things aren't looking particularly good. But for some reason, this particular woman, the author, whose name I couldn't tell you, she is completely unaffected by it.

19:04So we are seeing what is happening to the world through her eyes and it is bloody good. I don't want to go into too much detail because you guys will watch it.

19:13Keyzie:Yeah, definitely I will. But alien stuff and what the hell is going on stuff and I was talking to you about this before, Joe, so often you start watching something and you're like, oh, God, this is hard going, but we'll give it one episode and see where it ends up. This is immediately pretty gripping. Yes. So this is on Rotten Tomatoes. It's at 100%. I believe the whole show is out, so no finale to come along and ruin it like Game of Thrones Season 8. Yeah. Keezy. And it's at 100%, and I give it so far, that first episode, I'll give it four very, very firm, solid buzies. Wow. I'm excited by that, Maggie.

19:49Keyzie:That seems right up my alley. Where did you watch it, sorry? It's on Apple TV, and it's called Pluribus.

19:54Mike Minogue:Pluribus, and because I'll never forget the first episode of Breaking Bad. Yeah. Very gripping as well. It's him in the RV crashing in the desert. Walter White's there in his undies and his shirt, and he's got himself into this predicament. Yes. And then it just shows that, like, so obviously starting a series with a gripping first episode. So hard to do, but very effective. Is it week by week, Moggy, or is it all being released? I couldn't tell you. I'm pretty, pretty, pretty sure that it's all there.

20:20Keyzie:Yeah, good. Okay, that's me tonight. I've got nothing to offer on the TV front, fellas. I was early to bed for the golf match. No lovemaking, straight to sleep. Yeah, you could go through again how we lost the golf.

20:32Mike Minogue:Yeah, we could do that. How many buzzies do you give our golf, man?

20:34Keyzie:I give our golf four buzzies. Yeah, that's right.

20:37Mike Minogue:But the breakfast show, four and a half busies out of five. Yeah, yeah. Last night, fellas, my wife was out late. She was playing squash. Again. Well, yeah, every Tuesday she plays squash. Then after squash, they had squash drinks. It's just a standard midweek thing to sort of round out the year. So she came home at sort of 2, 3 a.m. Completely sober. Doesn't even have a squash racket. She Ubered home. No, she wasn't wearing a squash racket. Stinking of aftershank. She was wearing like a mini skirt and a sort of boob tube. Oh. A boob tube. And she came home, yeah. But I obviously waited up for her and cooked her dinner once she got home there.

21:16Mike Minogue:And then I was like, oh, do you want to finish watching that show we were watching? She's like, oh, no, I'm pretty tired. Yeah, she would be. Well, she kind of slurred it at me. She's like, oh, I'm really tired. So, yeah, I can't actually offer much either. Right. But apparently I asked her, she gave the squash drinks three and a half buzzies out of five. So it's pretty good. Yeah, nice. Yeah, yeah. I'm just looking out the window, fellas, and there's a couple of guys with golf carts that look like they're battery-powered or remote-controlled. That's just walking along by itself. Trundlers. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

21:40Mike Minogue:They go by themselves, yeah. Yeah, they're all over the place, Mogi. And also, we're at Windross Farm Golf Course, by the way, doing the show live. Is he running that on a remote on his phone? Yes. That's an absolute crime. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. So it's an electronic robotic golf trundler so you don't have to push them. He's standing there looking at his phone, pushing that. Yes. It's all over the show.

22:00Keyzie:I don't think I could operate one. What's he out of here for? He's looking at his phone. He could be just keeping a walk and looking at the view. And pushing his front.

22:07Mike Minogue:Yeah, yeah, yeah. Oh, for God's sake. I don't know, man. Backbone. Huge backbone. Royal blood. Nothing here to see, just a kid.

22:15Keyzie:Yeah, welcome back, you massive backbone. You're listening to The Big Show Live from Windross Farm Golf Course. I tell you what, it's really fun watching people play golf while we're doing the show, but there is heaps coming up after 5 o 'clock, fellas.

22:31Mike Minogue:There certainly is, Jase. I feel really bad and really guilty about something I've done, but I know that I haven't done it out of malice. It's just I've forgotten. And I just need you guys to reassure me that I'm not a bad person, that people do make mistakes. Yeah, sure.

22:46Keyzie:And I'm actually a little bit upset about something that I want to talk to you fellas about as well. We'll be doing that after 5. Is it the golf, man?

22:53Mike Minogue:It's not the fact that we lost the golf, no, but I am upset about that as well. The Hauraki Big Show with Jace, Mike and Keezy. Tune in weekdays at four on Radio Hauraki.

23:03Keyzie:Yeah, welcome back, you massive backbones. Hope you're getting through hump day tickety-boo. You're listening to The Big Show, brought to you by Reburg, yeah. Crave with your street food, freshly made with Reburg, yeah. I'm sort of missing the stings, fellas. Yeah. This is the thing about doing an on-site broadcast sometimes. You lose the little nuances of your show, like Pug San's magnificent little Reburger stings. Never mind, mate, never mind. There's always tomorrow and the next day. Yeah, that's true. The next few weeks, and we'll probably get to do a few extras on the breakfast show.

23:32Mike Minogue:Oh, yeah, well, we should probably let everyone know that we are doing this live from Windross Farm Golf Course in South Auckland, where breakfast have beaten the big show, and as a result... Once again. ...we will be covering their show December 19th, which is a Friday, and is the final Friday of the year that either show will be broadcasting. So they get an extended holiday. I mean, Jase, as a man with negative 10 days leave, how does that make you feel, man?

23:53Keyzie:Look, like Mimogi was saying, Mimogi, we had to take it on. We had to front up and go, all right, let's do this. I'm gutted. I'm genuinely gutted. But also, on the flip side, I think about the listeners out there, a whole day of Big Show, how good. Yeah, they're going to be absolutely thrilled about it. I feel nothing but great pride. I love having a crack. You learn nothing. You learn nothing, Hoity J, from not trying. That's right, mate. You learn a lot more from your losses. You've got to get out there and give it a crack. So I'm happy with that loss. And we go into 2026 with three humongous learning experiences, having lost two games of golf and a running race to the Breakfast Boys.

24:36Mike Minogue:So good. The only way is up for next year, fellas.

24:38Keyzie:If you're just joining us, by the way, we lost by one shot. One shot, yeah. One shot.

24:44Mike Minogue:We did. And it was a winner on Team Breakfast. It wasn't even Jerry Orman and I. They played terrible. It was one of the winners, Charlie, who pretty much carried them. apparently, but let's not dwell on it, fellas. Yeah, let's not. Let's play some Metallica instead.

24:56Keyzie:Oh, yeah.

24:58Mike Minogue:The Hauraki Big Show with Jason Hoyt, Mike Minogue and Casey.

25:03Keyzie:Pixies there on the radio. Hauraki Big Show this Wednesday afternoon, live from Windross Farm Golf Course. Fellas had a bit of an event the other night on their Friday there. Of course, I've been along to the New Zealand Screen Awards. Hell of a night. Yeah, sounded like it. Yeah, all the local celebrities were out in force. It was a great time. And we sort of wrapped it up immediately at the conclusion of the ceremony. Myself, my wife, and a mate of mine there who was up from Dunedin, we went home for a few beers to talk about the magic of the evening. And my mate and I were standing outside there having a few responsible beers and a few responsible cigarettes there, et cetera, et cetera.

25:44Mike Minogue:I think the beers have to be responsible, but the darts are okay. They're okay. Yeah, you can smash those bastards. Okay, good. And my daughter, she sort of gets awoken by the noise a little bit. And she hates being excluded from a party. Yes. So she'd gotten up a couple of times and just, hey, how's it going? And I'd taken her to bed. And then the wife took her to bed. And then she took her to bed, was gone, I don't know, a couple of minutes, then came back out. And then my daughter immediately followed. And it gets to a point, you'll know this, Jase, where the constant getting up gets to a point where you're a bit over it.

26:17You're done now. It's not cute anymore. For example, last night my daughter got up for the umpteenth time, and she came out and she hit us with the set-up for a joke. Right, knock-knock. So not trying to have any kind of conversations, just literally hitting us with a set-up for a joke as a way to stay up longer. I like that. So that's how, oh, it was really good. Was the joke good? But you can't encourage it. I liked it. And I'll probably talk about that next week. But then, so she immediately got up again, and we sort of sighed. My wife went up and said, what's the story? She goes, oh, there's something in my bed.

26:50There's something in my bed. It's like, yeah, righto. So the wife went in and sorted it out. Then my mate and I continued talking, and then like a bat out of hell, my wife burst out the French doors there and launched something off the balcony, and it was a cockroach. So my daughter had come out complaining that something was crawling on her, which sounded like a bit of a stretch.

27:14Mike Minogue:And you didn't believe it, obviously. Well, no, because that sort of stuff doesn't happen. But sure enough, and it was a cockroach, but it's not one of the, what I believe are the German ones, the house cockroaches. It was a huge bastard, two and a half to three inches long. Wow. Absolutely massive. Now, my wife is not, like, on the first. Squeamish. She doesn't like that stuff. Yes. At all. But given our daughter was in imminent danger, she immediately took her reaction to about an 11 on the Richter scale, came screaming out of the house and hifted off the side of the veranda there. Now, that, I think, created in my daughter a sort of a feeling that maybe this was something that she really needed to be scared of.

27:56Yes. Have you ever had any experience with that sort of thing?

27:59Keyzie:I had an experience with my daughter, one of my girls, who was 25, Mogi, and she'd come back from overseas. she was unpacking her bag from overseas and a cockroach scurried out from her suitcase. She screamed like someone had been murdered in front of her eyes. Right. And like literally everyone in the family went, oh my God, thinking something, and it was just a cockroach.

28:27Mike Minogue:Yeah. Is that all she packed for her overseas trip? Yeah, just one cockroach.

28:30Keyzie:That's weird. But there's something about cockroaches that freaks the living hell out of people. That's what I've noticed. I like the little critters.

28:38Mike Minogue:Do you reckon it's the name? Possibly. Like Cockroach? You know what I mean? Like maybe we should rename them, rebrand them to something that isn't as repulsive. Yeah, they need a makeover with the marketing department, that's for sure. Because you don't mind them.

28:53Keyzie:Oh, I love a cockroach.

28:54Mike Minogue:Yeah. The Hauraki Big Show with Jace, Mike and Kesey. Tune in weekdays at four on Radio Hauraki.

29:01Keyzie:The Black Keys there on the Radio Hauraki Big Show live from Windross Farm. golf course this beautiful Wednesday evening.

29:09Mike Minogue:That's right and if you've just joined us we did lose to the breakfast show and now we are covering their final show of the year which is Friday December 19th you'll have the big show on in the morning and in the afternoon as well. By one shot. I know we only just lost but a loss is a loss Jase and we just have to front up now when I head admittedly I headed into work earlier this morning because I wanted to jump in with them heading out south to Windroth Farm golf course there I was in a bit of a rush because I'm used to rolling into work in the afternoon, obviously. While I was in my car in traffic, I realized I wasn't wearing my wedding ring.

29:42Mike Minogue:So not wearing my wedding ring. And I've got a tan line on my finger where my wedding ring usually is. And to be honest, I'm very, very, very good. I wear my wedding ring, you know, out of 31 days in a month, I reckon I'd wear it 30 days. Right. I like wearing it. But I always feel really guilty whenever I forget it. And it just so happens that today's a bit of a, you know, the whole team's going out to a new event and there'll be heaps of people there and stuff, and I feel guilty. Is that 31st day of the month where you don't wear it, is that always singles night down at the local bar or ladies night?

30:15Keyzie:No, not traditionally, Mo. Shaggers night? Shaggers, is that a thing? Yes. Yeah. Have you never been to a shaggers night, Keezy? No.

30:22Mike Minogue:I haven't been to a shaggers night, Jase. No. But I always feel guilty, and it just so happens that my wife knows, I said to her, hey, I might end up taxing home after the show tonight because we'll probably have a few beers. Going to squash.

30:33Keyzie:Blah, blah, blah. She won't be there anyway, so I wouldn't worry about it.

30:35Mike Minogue:No, she just had squash last night, all right? She'll be home tonight. But I always feel guilty, you know, because it's like I'm going to this event, there's going to be people there, and I've left my wedding ring at home.

30:44Keyzie:Look, I think he's, you know, I've been married for over 20 years. I've never taken my wedding ring off once. Thank you. But that's just me. Yeah. You know, and I don't know why you would. But anyway, look, I think that your wife hasn't been home a lot lately. She's been out most nights.

31:02Mike Minogue:Yeah, she plays touch and squash and had a few work drinks and things. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

31:06Keyzie:And I guess you could say it's this time of year or whatever. I think on an unconscious level you're making a statement.

31:13Mike Minogue:Well, I'm not trying to. I just forgot because I take my wedding ring off whenever I have a shower and I had it on the basin there because I was putting wax in my hair and I didn't want to get wax on my wedding ring.

31:24Keyzie:when you say wax you mean tree sap

31:27Mike Minogue:no I mean hair wax don't start the tree sap thing again but then I'm worried that she's going to get home she's going to see that I've left it on the bathroom vanity I just don't want her to get up but to be fair we're pretty secure we've been together a long time she won't give a shit right I wonder what is going on in your head because as you say Jase I've been married for coming up 10 years now I have never taken my wedding ring off and I just don't know why you would I'd take it off to have a shower I think it's a hygiene thing. I don't want soap scum and stuff underneath my... Because it started peeling my...

31:58It's an absolute non-issue. The reason why you get that peel is just because your body resists the fact that you're newly married. And over time, because I had the same thing, you would get a skin peel right underneath the ring there. That's right, yeah. Early doors, and then over time, your skin just toughens up.

32:14Keyzie:I don't even have any skin under my wedding ring. It's just on bone.

32:18Mike Minogue:Yeah, your wedding ring's quite munted, actually. it's really misshapen and sort of doesn't really work do you reckon a wedding ring represents like a marriage in a way?

32:27Keyzie:it's flat on the bottom there Keezy as you can see and that's deliberate you flattened it I did at some point I can't remember when but that's because I never take it off yes

32:37Mike Minogue:yeah I don't know man if you're worried about ever leaving your wedding ring behind because you've taken it off maybe don't take it off yeah shit that's good advice yeah mate yeah The Hauraki Big Show with Jason Hoyt, Mike Minogue and Casey.

32:54Keyzie:Red Hot. Chilli Peppers there on the radio. Hauraki Big Show live from Windross Farm Golf Course. Actually, funnily enough, fellas, I was just going out for a vape in the songs there. One of the old locals. It was ads, but yeah. Or the ads, was it? Yeah. One of the locals who's a regular here, this is his home course. He came up to me and he said, G'day, I made you a Hauraki, are you? Yeah. And I said, yeah. And he said, oh, well, we were playing behind you, fellas. And they told us that you were pretty shithouse, so we thought we were going to be bloody slow ass. But you were miles ahead of us.

33:28Keyzie:Good on you, mate. Good on you. I mean, we can take something out of the day, can't we?

33:33Mike Minogue:Yeah, well, if you're going to suck, suck quickly. Yeah, exactly. And you had cuts. Yeah, that's like a family motto. If you're going to suck, suck hard. Suck it hard. Fellas, something that I thought of was because we lost by one stroke. Yes. And to be honest, there was one putt that I sank, but we were idiots. We didn't take the flag out. It hit the pole and bounced back out again. If I had sunk that, if we'd taken the flag out, it would have been a draw. And I was changing to Jerry and Minaya, and they were like, oh, it would have been cool if there was a draw because we would have gone to like a putt-off or a sudden death or something.

34:08Mike Minogue:And I was like, my attitude was, no, the bed is off. We drew. We're doing our own shows. I'm not doing any extra work. You do your show. We'll do ours. End of story. Right. How do you guys feel about that? I would have been into it.

34:20Keyzie:You've got to go for it. I would have backed us to nail the puck. You're one hole away from overturning a litany of errors throughout this year where we've just taken loss after loss. And now after loss. Exactly. But you had an opportunity there to take a win. So I think you'd probably have to go to an extra hole, wouldn't you? Yeah, I would have been into that. Or the measurement of each other's downstairs and the cumulative length would determine who the winner was.

34:48Mike Minogue:That wouldn't even be a competition. Because obviously Jase is, as he wants us to believe, is running a huge downstairs operation. And I know for a fact that Jerry and Minai both have tiny chodes.

34:59Keyzie:Yeah, but you're little button mushrooms.

35:00Mike Minogue:Yeah, yeah. Well, no, I've got a button mushroom. Oh, right. They've got tiny chodes and you've got a huge piece. I've got a field mushroom. Yeah, you've got a... What is the longest mushroom?

35:10Keyzie:I don't know. A lion's mane? Oh, lion's mane. What about an oyster mushroom?

35:14Mike Minogue:It's an oyster mushroom. Shiitake. We can sit here all day talking about what size mushrooms and stuff. But my attitude would have been, so, because your thing is, like, if you've got a chance, you've got to go for it. Oh, yeah, totally. You're thinking about the lost, Kesey. I'm thinking about the glory always. You have to think about what happens if you win. You get the yarn.

35:32Keyzie:You don't get any yarns if you go, no, I'm all good. And I'm thinking redemption. Yes. You know what I mean? I'm thinking victory. I'm going to be lying on the beach with my lion's mane fatuus and all summer it's going to bug me. It's going to be like a little pebble under my blanket, under my towel there. You know, the fact that we just didn't quite nail it this year. Yeah.

35:56Mike Minogue:Yeah, right, okay. See, my attitude is that you guys probably would be terrible at the pokies or in a gambling situation because you just think of what would happen if you win. But you're not always going to win. Well, that's 100 % right, mate. Yeah, you're just going to make it worse for yourself. The Queen of the Nile is yet to let me down, Keezy, whereas you have let me down three times. We'll stop putting money in, Mogi, and I'll stop it. Here's Velvet Revolver. The Hauraki Big Show with Jase, Mike, and Keezy. Tune in weekdays at 4 on Radio Hauraki.

36:26Keyzie:Yes, indeed, Velvet Revolver there on the Radio Hauraki Big Show. This beautiful Wednesday evening live from Windross Farm Golf Course. And, fellas, I wanted to talk to you about something that's been bugging me.

36:41Mike Minogue:That was a massive pause, by the way. That was like three or four seconds of pause.

36:44Keyzie:I know, I know, because I was just sort of going through it in my head. You'll know that I've been filming lately. And yesterday was my last day. And what happens when you film and it's your last day on set, what they'll do at the end of your last scene is they'll say to the entire crew there, Okay, everyone, that's the scene. Also, that's a picture shoot for Jason Hoyt. Picture rap. A picture rap for Jason Hoyt, i.e. that's the last scene I'm doing on this show. And everyone claps and cheers and people hug you and, thanks, mate, you were awesome, you were huge. And that had been happening throughout the day with various other actors.

37:28Keyzie:And so I had my picture rap yesterday. The scene finished. That's the end of the scene. Also a picture wrap for Hoity J or Jason Hoyt. And no one clapped. Right.

37:40Mike Minogue:Oh, wow, so they said it, but no one clapped.

37:42Keyzie:No one clapped. Not only that, they all just wandered off. And I was standing on the set and they turned the lights off. And so I was literally standing there by myself. No one sort of came up to me and said, yeah, great work, mate, or shook my hand. You know, a lot of people hug. Yeah. There were no hugs or anything like that. And I mean, I know that I'm probably overthinking it, but it sort of filled me with a slightly bad vibe. You know what I mean? Well, look, that is odd. I've been on many a shoot as well as you have, Jase, and I have never experienced that where there is just complete silence.

38:19And especially in your case, because as we know, you're a prickly character on set. You don't like wardrobe going anywhere near you to make adjustments. You don't like make-up coming in to make touch-ups. You don't like filming. You don't like, exactly. You don't like acting. You don't like repeat takes. You don't like other people having their turn to do their dialing. Overshooting. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Exactly right. So given that you don't like any of those things, look, mate, it's an odd one.

38:48Mike Minogue:Just because I've never obviously been on a film shoot or anything like that. I'm trying, Kesey, but boy, it's hard work. if you do rap let's say so Moggy for example when you rapped on let's say the last episode of Wellington Paranormal Officer Moggy how long does that sort of you know like applause usually go for so in your circumstances well in my case it went for so long because there was still a couple of scenes they had to shoot overtime the applause went for so long the applause the crying there were three huckers wow that were performed it was yeah It can go for quite some time. They bring in gifts, of course, as well.

39:29I was gifted a ponamu from the cast and crew, and that was pretty special. Oh, look, I mean, when you're in that kind of environment, Kesey, it's like another family. It really is. You're forged together. There's long hours. It's an intense working environment. And as a result of that, you really do feel like a family. And so when somebody is finished, it's like you're losing a family. It's like they're going away to university or something like that. So people feel it deeply.

39:56Mike Minogue:And how many seasons of Wellington Paranormal were there? There was four seasons. Four seasons, right. So you worked on that show for four years. This particular production, Jay, so how long have you been a part of it?

40:05Keyzie:Oh, I mean, for this particular, it was 10 days. Yeah. But, you know, there was one young lady that had been filming on it for a day. Yeah. And then she rapped as well, and she got huge kisses and hugs. Yeah. They even gave her, speaking of presents, some sort of cast present. Yes. I didn't get any of that stuff. And, you know, I was like, what? I'm sure it was just an oversight. You know, I'm sure that they were probably. Everyone had an oversight. Everyone on the crew, like 50 people. They just, you know, were trying to, they were under the gun. Mind you, they were actually running on time. Yeah.

40:39Keyzie:Do you know what I mean? I mean, I know that I overthink these things and it was nothing and that they loved me, that it was a special thing for them to get to film with Hoorie J, the legend. Yeah. Um, so, yeah, look, I was overthinking it. My bad. Yeah. They love me. I'm cool. People love working with me. Yeah.

40:59Mike Minogue:And it's... You don't think, and this is just a theory, and I don't know, right? You don't think you, like, did a bad job. You don't think it was that.

41:07Keyzie:I don't think so, Keezy.

41:09Mike Minogue:The Hauraki Big Show with Jason Hoyt, Mike Minogue, and Keezy.

41:14Keyzie:Yes, indeed. Welcome back, you massive backbones. And you're listening to the big show live from Windroth's golf course out here in Cleveland.

41:22Mike Minogue:Yeah, it's a bloody beautiful spot. If you just joined us, we lost to the breakfast show. And we will now be covering their final show of the year, Friday, December 19th. And Jase, also coming up after six, I've just got this something I need to, I wouldn't say it's a bone to pick. I just think I need to have a word with you about something that has been, it's been bugging me a wee bit. And it happened again today on the golf course. So it is golf course related. And we just need to square something. I just need to clear the air just so that next time we can go out there and have an even better game, if that's okay.

41:54Keyzie:Sure, man. No worries. I think I know what it is. And I'm very much looking forward to that chat because I have a massive bone to pick.

42:04Mike Minogue:The Hauraki Big Show with Jace, Mike, and Keezy. Tune in weekdays at 4 on Radio Hauraki.

42:10Keyzie:Sure is, yeah, massive backbones. Hope your Wednesday's going along very nicely indeed. Indeed, it is for the boys on The Big Show, live from Windross Golf Club out here in Clevedon. You're listening to The Big Show, by the way, brought to you by Reburg Gear.

42:23Mike Minogue:Certainly is, Jason. Reburg Gear is where you get crave-worthy street food, which is freshly made by Reburg Gear.

42:32Keyzie:I'm actually thinking to myself, fellas, on the way home, I might get a bit of Reburg Gear. Oh, yeah? You know what I mean? I'm a little bit peckish. This is what you get after a round of golf. You get hungers, don't you, fellas? Yeah, you do. You do, mate. Let us know. I'm prepared to put$50 on you not doing it. Yeah, I'm prepared to double that.

42:49Mike Minogue:Are you? 100%.

42:50Keyzie:What are you fellas saying?

42:53Mike Minogue:Well, I think, Jase, that you like to go on air and say you're having re-berg gear every single day and stuff, but I don't actually believe it. Oh, not every single day, Keezy. And I think re-berg gear deserve better than that.

43:03Keyzie:Sure. So if I got re-berg gear tonight, you'll pay me$100, Keezy, and Mogi, you'll pay me$50. Is that right?

43:12Mike Minogue:No, he'll pay you 50 and I'll pay you 50.

43:14Keyzie:No, you said I'll go double.

43:16Mike Minogue:I'll double that as in I'll add in 50 to double it and make it 100. That's a pretty good deal, man. Still 100. But look, even he's still thinking about it because that is how much money Jase has. That$100 is like a drop in the ocean for him. Yeah, totally.

43:31Keyzie:Now listen, plenty coming up in this hour, by the way, including Kesey. He's got a bone to pick with old hoity J on the golf course again. Here we go. Here we go. So that'll be coming up probably.

43:43Mike Minogue:It is coming up next. We'll also have a chat to Andrew, who is the head of Windroth's Farm Golf Course and has run several golf courses all around the world. Wow, I didn't know that. Very interesting. Yeah, yeah. But in the meantime, fellas, I was thinking we could go into some Soundgarden. What do you reckon? Sounds good to me, Keezy. The Hauraki Big Show with Jason Hoyt, Mike Minogue and Keezy.

44:02Keyzie:Nirvana there on the radio. Hauraki Big Show this beautiful Wednesday evening live from Windroth's Farm Golf Course.

44:10Mike Minogue:That's right. Down in South Auckland there, beautiful place to play. We did lose to the breakfast show today. We lost by one stroke, and as a result, we are covering the final show of the year for them. They get an extra day's holiday, and we get to do an extra show on the final day of the year, which is Friday, December 19th. Now, the way this tournament worked is it was Ambrose, it was two winners, and myself and Hoidi J, up against two breakfast winners and Jeremy Wells and Minaya Stewart. And we started off really well, didn't we, Jase? Yeah, we're pretty solid, I think, Kesey.

44:39Keyzie:Well, I think we were pretty solid the whole round, to be honest.

44:43Mike Minogue:We were. We parred the first hole, which is really good. We then birdied the second one, parred the third hole, and then we had a bogey eventually somewhere in there, which is when, Jase, your form of encouragement switched from being like, this is great, guys. We're going really good. This is great. To, hey, guys, we should try and get a birdie here. And just really putting the pressure on. And you know that I will fold under that pressure. And you turned it on to, come on, Keezy, a birdie. Come on, Keezy. A really big drive, nice and straight, man. Come on, Keezy. Do it for the team, Keezy. All this pressure.

45:15Mike Minogue:And then when I fold and we end up covering breakfast, I'm not saying it's 100 % your fault. It's 90 % my fault. But I need you to be like, Keezy, I don't care what happens, man. I love you regardless, you know?

45:26Keyzie:Oh, look, I love you regardless. Now, Moggy, can I correct the record here, please? I was like, I had a feeling that they were doing pretty well. And it was like, encourage the team. Let's go for a birdie here, fellas. And I said to Keezy, and I quote, you got this, Keezy, straight down the guts, mate. That's what I said. And he went, oh, this is why I fold. I mean, he hadn't played one straight down the guts all day. So I don't know why me encouraging him makes it any different. It was meant purely as encouragement, Mogi. You got this, you're going to send it down the guts. Well, you're there to encourage your teammates, I would have thought.

46:05The alternative there would have been say, oh, don't bugger it up, don't F it up, Keezy. God, you're a shocking bastard, et cetera, et cetera, et cetera. You didn't do that. No. You're trying to be the wind beneath his wings. Keezy is trying to be there for you, brother. He's trying to support you.

46:21Keyzie:I believe in you, man, and I'm trying to support you. Against all the evidence, he believes in you. I will never give up on you, Keezy, despite the evidence to the contrary. Despite the litany of errors throughout the year.

46:34Mike Minogue:I don't need wind beneath my wings. I want to fly in a completely windless environment. I just want to be able to just fly normally, no pressure here or there or any way, and that's when I fly best. So wherever the wind is coming from...

46:49Keyzie:So you want me to be silent, basically?

46:50Mike Minogue:No, I don't want you to be silent. I want you to just be like, hey, fellas, if I do a good shot, that's great. If not, all good. If I do a bad shot, oh, hard luck, Kesey, all G. Instead of cussing me out and swearing afterwards.

47:06Mike Minogue:Which bogey, I didn't want to say, but he was a shocking bastard out there. It was terrible.

47:12Keyzie:That is palpably untrue. I can't, but I'm disgusted.

47:17Mike Minogue:The Hauraki Big Show with Jace, Mike and Kesey. Tune in weekdays at four on Radio Hauraki.

47:24Keyzie:Queens of the Stone Age there on the radio. Hauraki Big Show this gorgeous Wednesday evening. Live from Windross Farm Golf Club. It is an absolutely stunning course. We had the pleasure of playing it today, of course. And we've got the general manager of said course, Andrew, you mad bastard. How's life? Not bad, gents. How's it going? Yeah, very good. Thanks, mate. Absolutely love the course. I was having a chat to one of your regular members out there, and apparently you were telling him that we were shithouse at golf and that we were going to take ages to complete nine holes. Is that true, Andrew?

47:59Absolutely. I said, get these boys off as soon as you can. It's absolutely horrendous. No, no, no, seriously. No, all good. It's all good.

48:07Mike Minogue:Andrew, am I picking up an Australian accent there, man? Yeah, Brisbane, actually. Yeah, South Brisbane. No, I'm from Scotland originally. Oh, Scotland. I always get them mixed up.

48:17Keyzie:Yeah, yeah. Now, the fellas were saying, and I think it was Kesey was telling me, this isn't the first place that you've managed in terms of golf courses. Where else have you been around the world? Oh, God. Spain. Oh.

48:30Mike Minogue:Managing a Spanish golf course, Jase. Oh, my God. Hang on. I've been in Spain. I've been in the Middle East. I was in Dubai. I have been in Shanghai and China as well. Wow. And look at you now. South Auckland. I tell you what. Papakura Golf Centre, baby. No, no. It's all good. Yeah, I've been around the world. Yeah, it's been good. So, you know, and what makes you, you know, why aren't you still in Spain? Why aren't you still in Shanghai? What was it about the allure of the Clevedon, South Auckland region? I just really love pies. Right. Fair call, mate, fair call. Mints and cheese are amazing.

49:04I've never had pies like that in my life. Right.

49:06Mike Minogue:And so it was worth uprooting and coming down to New Zealand just for that? Absolutely. Bloody hell.

49:11Keyzie:I tell you what, mate, it's an absolutely beautiful course. How many sort of members are you talking about here on this particular course? We're just under 800. Okay. Yeah, fairly busy place. Yeah, very busy, yeah.

49:24Mike Minogue:And how many is the dream amount for you? Oh, the dream amount. It would be... 20 ,000? Well, yeah,$20 ,000 full paying, yeah. No, we're steady. We're very steady. Because you don't want too many, though, right? You don't want people to not be able to get on, but you want enough to sort of, yeah. So are you in a bit of a sweet spot at the moment? Yeah, we are. That's exactly where we're at. Yeah. And I know Pugs, our producer Pugs, he spent about an hour or so out there disgracing himself on the driving range, which I believe is brand new. It's got the screens, it's got the shot tracer and all that stuff.

49:56Mike Minogue:And I believe you're taking the credit for bringing that here. I certainly am. So, yeah, we redeveloped the range. We've just done a whole redevelopment. It's all brand new, brand new balls, brand new mats, top tracer technology. You can have drinks. You can do whatever you want down there and just have a great time. Yeah, right. So is that available to only members, or is that the sort of thing you can come out here, a whole group of mates, dress like absolute animals, drink 50 beers and just make yourself at home? You've nailed it. You can absolutely do that if you want. You can come out as a casual and get stuck into that.

50:32That's what we want. We want everyone to come and enjoy golf, learn golf, play golf, have fun. That's what we want.

50:37Keyzie:Just on that front, Andrew, I mean, how are you as a golfer? I used to be good. Yeah, but what does that mean? We all used to be good, Andrew. No, I never was. Yeah, no, that's true. What sort of handicap are you running? I don't have one.

50:52Mike Minogue:Right, but if you had to estimate, Andrew, what would you say? Would it be single figures? Yes, still. Yeah, see, that's really, really, really good. So it's similar to me. And what is it like, you know, for example, when you say you ran a golf course in Spain, what are they doing in Spain compared to here? Like, is there a carafe of sangria at halfway? Is that the sort of thing they're doing? Yeah, loads of sangria, paella, and you just, yeah, you play golf in the sunshine, and, yeah, it's amazing.

51:18Keyzie:Farah, that is your dream job, Jase. That would ultimately be my dream job. Now, Andrew, where are you placed right now if people are going, And, geez, I'm in this sort of area. I want to get into my golf. You're open to sort of people signing up? What's the story? We are. Listen, we've actually just launched a new thing. So this summer, we've got the Summer Pass. And basically, we're running a promotion at any time after 2 o 'clock. As, you know, you can come and join and you can play unlimited golf any day of the week. After 2. It's plenty of time. Yeah. So what's happened is a lot of people, they're finishing work or, you know, there's nothing to do in the afternoon.

51:57let's go play golf and that's what we just launched, it's been really successful so that's that launched about two weeks ago and we've already had like 15, 16 sign up there's only 30 spots so get in quick. Jase I see your eyes on up there brother, I think you're forgetting about the fact that you've got a drive show that's sort of right in the afternoon there.

52:16Keyzie:Yeah well, you know there's a lot of water to go under that bridge well no Andrew seriously mate it's been an absolute pleasure it's a beautiful course It's a beautiful course. Thanks. Greens fiercely quick. Maybe. Do you want to slow them down a bit? Can you put a bit of water on them maybe? Absolutely not. Because it's like patting on bloody glass out there. I know. The thing is, my superintendent, I think he's quite volatile to people. And he likes them to not enjoy it. Yeah, right. So, yeah. So, we just run it really, really hard, really fast. That's what we do. Bloody rip it.

52:50Mike Minogue:Hey, Andrew, GM of Wind Ross Farm Golf Course. Do you like Lenny Kravitz? I do. You're in luck, bro. Yeah, you're in luck. Chuck it on.

52:58Keyzie:The Hauraki Big Show with Jason Hoyt, Mike Minogue and Casey. ACDC there on the radio. Hauraki Big Show live from Windross Farm Golf Club. But, fellas, I think we should give out some advice. Creeper happiness 69.

53:19Mike Minogue:Gmail.com. Get in touch. With the fellas. What I love about this is that you guys are singing that in a golf club, country club, on a Wednesday afternoon. There's just a whole lot of old fellas turning around and looking at the weird guys singing in the corner. They love Meet Paddy Nips 69. They know exactly what that is. Totally, man.

53:40Keyzie:Some filthy bastards here, I can tell.

53:43Mike Minogue:There's a real email address. It is meetpaddynips69 at gmail.com. If you need advice on anything, get in touch. It's 100 % anonymous and you can win a$50 Reburger voucher. This one comes in, fellas, from Anonymous. Anonymous female. Oh, okay, good. G'day, big show. G'day, mate. I am one of the eight backbone women who listen to your show. I want advice on how I could get my mates to listen in, too. Very good. Maybe if Jace could lie about being younger, that would give the show a younger, hipper edge, or perhaps Tony could have his own segment, Ladies Love a Bad Boy. Ooh. Cheers. So Anonymous Female trying to figure out a way to convince other females, her mates, to listen to our show.

54:24Right. And Tony, that's you, Keezer, when you've got your Tony denim jacket on, your audiovisual jacket. Yeah. And you could have your own segment because Tony is a bad boy.

54:35Mike Minogue:Well, I am a bad boy.

54:35Keyzie:Yeah, because he's got a denim jacket.

54:37Mike Minogue:I do have my own segment. It's what's on the dinner or is it what's on the tea with me dinner? I can't remember what it's called. But I already have my own segment. And I don't know if that's working to get a cooler, younger edge. I think it's always doing the opposite.

54:49Keyzie:Did I get the gist right here? Was she saying that I was old? No, she was saying... No, no. I think she was saying that if you were even younger... Even younger. Okay, yeah. What about what's on the cleaning the house with me, Keith? Or Tony?

55:03Mike Minogue:Well, I don't understand. What would that do? Well, you want to do things that really interest people, that core audience member. And so I think the one thing that is missing on the big show is we don't do any cleaning chat. We can't just start doing cleaning chat to appeal to females. Is that what you're suggesting? That is absolutely not what I'm suggesting, and I think it's shocking that you automatically assume. That's shocking me. You're a shocking bastard. But wouldn't it be handy, Keezy, if people could tune in and find out how to get stains out of their clothes, for example?

55:36Keyzie:Couldn't agree more. And, you know, at the same time, we could save people money as well, you know, in terms of cleaning, for example. Mogi could have a little hack like lemon juice. Thank you. You know what I mean? Club soda. Club soda. Vinegar? When my brother lived, I think it was in the Philippines, the people, they used to have to hire help. It was part of their setup that they had to do that. And they used to, like, clean the sinks and things like that with Pepsi. Right. They'd pour a can of Pepsi into the sink, and that would just flush everything out. Things like that. Yeah, well, those are great tips.

56:13Those are hot tips. Yeah, right. What about if we actually included maybe some female spots so we could have a guest host come in? Straight off the bat, I'm thinking off the top of my head, Keezy's wife comes in and starts talking about squash and going out and playing squash and tart. With the ladies. How do I get out of the house five days a week?

56:35Mike Minogue:I don't know. She only plays every Tuesday, fellas, as you guys know, and touch on the Monday there. Then work drinks this coming Thursday, admittedly. I don't know if I want my wife on this show You know what I mean? I'd be keen Well that's the issue Jase, you'd be too keen I think Mogey's wife on the show

56:51Keyzie:Well how about this fellas In terms, I know it's a radio show But we make a lot of videos What about Mogey going topless? Oh there we go What to appeal to the females? You know he's Well we can appeal to lots of people We could actually do that as a team Topless Tuesday. Yeah. Topless Tuesday. Well, yeah, but I don't know if we want to be getting our meat patty nips.

57:18Mike Minogue:He was so close to saying Keezy there. He said our meat patty nips. When everybody knows that's Keezy's lane. That's right. Stop trying to steal my shit. All right, so we're going to land on. Mogi's going to host a segment about cleaning. And I'm going to be shirtless, was it? Yes, on a Tuesday. And I think, Jase, her saying you should lie about your age would work. So what are you? You're 39. So maybe 28? I think, say you're 28. How do you feel about lying about your age, though? Because I know you're a pretty honourable guy.

57:47Keyzie:If there's one thing that gets deep inside my goat, that's people that lie about their age. Right, but are you happy to do it? Why are you doing it? I mean, I'll do it for her.

57:55Mike Minogue:Right, okay. All right, we'll lock it in anonymous. Hopefully that helps, and I'm excited to see our female listenership go through the roof. The Hauraki Big Show with Jason Hoyt, Mike Minogue and Kesey.

58:13Keyzie:Well, there you go, you mad bastards. That's another big show done and dusted. And, Fels, it's been an absolute pleasure coming out here to Windroth's Farm Golf Club. I'm hurting. I'm a little bit gutted by the outcome, but, jeez, it was good to get out on the course again and have a whack.

58:33Mike Minogue:Yeah, well, pretty lucky, Jase. It's a lovely place. We had golf carts, we had snacks, we had Jerry and Mania and some great winners there. We lost, so as a result, we will be doing the final breakfast show of the year on December 19th, which is a Friday. But I've thoroughly enjoyed myself, and it's a beautiful evening. Very lucky, aren't we? Very lucky. And from my side, I'm proud of you fellas for giving it a nudge out there. How bloody good. And look, lost the first one by four strokes, lost this one by one. Jeez, they better watch out next year, eh, fellas? They better watch out. I don't know if I want to wager any more covering shows.

59:07Mike Minogue:Come on, Keezy. It's... Keezy. Keezy. Keezy. All right, fine. Let's do it again then.

59:15Keyzie:Now, listen, it's been an absolute pleasure. Make sure you go on the Instagram, by the way, because Old Puggleson has been going hardcore posting videos all over the shop. Also, check out our podcast, the podcast outro and highlights package of the show. Old Puggleson has been going hard out on those as well. but from Windross Farm Golf Course, from the big show, you have a great night. We'll chat tomorrow. See you then. See you. See you at four.