FULL SHOW: Meat & Bones

7:21Mike Minogue:People are texting in the Parsons nose. Oh, yes, the Parsons nose. What is that?

7:26Keyzie:I don't know.

7:28Mike Minogue:Well, why did you say, oh, yes, the Parsons nose? Because I've heard it before. Right, okay. The Parsons nose. The Parsons nose. Okay, so I've got thigh, breast, jummy, wing, nugget, nibble, feet, tender. You want me to put tender and nibble and nuggy? They're all very similar. We could put it all in together, yeah. Okay. Okay. The Parsons nose is the small, fatty tail end of the chicken. Oh, the nub. found right at the back where the tail feathers would be. In butchery it's sometimes called the chicken's tail or Pope's nose. Okay, the parson's nose.

7:58Keyzie:Actually, that's delicious when you've roasted a chook because it's very fatty and very tasty. Right, okay. I mean, for me, I'm not a big fan of the, is it the gizzard there? The chicken gizzard, yeah. The chicken gizzard or any of that sort of carry-on. But for me, I'm going to go, this is more, I think we should go the main cut. Okay. I think we need to keep it to what you can get from a supermarket or a restaurant or something like that. Sure. So I'm going chicken breast. Okay. I'm probably going wing. Second. Second, because that's like you've got a yummy sauce on it. Drumstick and then thighs last.

8:37Wow, thighs last. That's crazy. And not only does it last, it's going in the bin. You can keep it. That is crazy. If I go through one of the chicken joints that exist, If they give me a drumstick or a thigh, I'm going back around the drive-thru and passing it back through the window.

8:51Mike Minogue:I'm talking about skinless, boneless chicken thigh, then you use that to make like a stir fry or something like that that you'd usually use a breast for. It's more succulent.

8:59Keyzie:You've got to keep the skin on, Keezy. Keeps it more flavourful. Okay, for me, thigh definitely first. First, yeah. Same here. I'll go nibbles. Is that a choice? No, we've got rid of nibbles. So the wings. Yes. I'll go chicken wings.

9:13Mike Minogue:Okay, so Jase, wing is second for you? Yes. Then I would go... Drummy or breast?

9:19Keyzie:I would go breast, but they do tend to be dry often. Only if they're poorly cooked. Yeah, that's true. And then I would go, yes, whatever the last one is.

9:28Mike Minogue:I can't remember. So thigh first. Yes. Then he went wing, then he went breast, and then he goes drum. Drum is third. Drum is last. Yes. Okay, I would go thigh first, breast second, wing third. Drum last. Drummy fourth. See, drummy is... It's not doing well, is it? No, it's not. Nah, drummy suck. Have your opinion, though, 3483. What's your favourite part of the chicken, New Zealand? Here's Elasis. The Hauraki Big Show with Jase, Mike and Keezy. Tune in weekdays at four on Radio Hauraki.

10:05Keyzie:What's this? A Radio Hauraki bar tab? Yes, indeed, your opportunity to win some meat and some money. Eh, fellas?

10:17Mike Minogue:$100 cash, Jase, and a delicious beef and lamb New Zealand meat pack. Giving one away every single day this week. All you have to do is listen out for the queue to call, then call us on 0800 Hauraki, because this Sunday, February the 15th, is National Lamb Day. How good, man. How good. God, that's crept up on us, man. It really has.

10:34Keyzie:It really has this year. God, I feel a little bit taken off guard, actually. What do you get your missus for lamb day? What's that? Your missus, yeah? Yes. What do you get her for lamb day? I always like to do a nice roast chicken. For lamb day? Yeah. It's a weird tradition of mine. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Going against the grain a little bit. But your conversation, though, while you're eating your chicken, it always circles around to lambs. Yeah, it does. I can tell you, pretty much every year my wife says to me, oh, we should have done a lamb rack.

11:05Mike Minogue:I was going to say, why don't you give me a nice rack or something?

11:09Keyzie:Let's go to the phone lines. G'day, Bruce, you mad bastard. How's life? Oh, doing great there, hoity jazz, and yourselves there, fellas? Yeah, good. Now we're talking hoity jazz. Yeah, you know, wind it up a wee bit.

11:24Mike Minogue:Yeah, I like it.

11:25Keyzie:I'll be honest with you, Bruce, I prefer jazz to jizz.

11:29Mike Minogue:I bet you do.

11:30Keyzie:Yeah, tell me, Bruce, what do you do for a crust?

11:33Mike Minogue:Oh, and logistics there, Hoity. Oh, yeah. Good on you, mate. Backbone. You're a backbone, man. Your backbone stuff there, Bruce. You a fan of meat? Oh, I love me meat, Teezy. Yeah, good on you, mate. All right, well, here's the deal. We'll chuck you in the drawer, keep your phone on, because we could be giving you a call back later on with some cash and some meat, all right? Fantastic. That'd be great, guys. Beautiful, mate. Good on you, mate.

11:53Keyzie:Good luck. G'day, Chris, you mad bastard. How's life? Yeah, good fella. How you doing? Yeah, here he is. You sound like you're under your mattress or something there, Chris, what's going on? Oh, just finished work. Just sitting in the van, listening to the show. Oh, good, man. Can you do us a favour and talk into your phone?

12:15Mike Minogue:Get on you. Hey, Chris, what do you do for a crust, mate? I'm a Tyler. Tyler, you're a bad guy. Good stuff, mate. Good stuff. All right, Chris, you keep your phone on you, mate. We could be giving you a call with some cash and some meat, all right? Awesome. Thanks, guys. Good on you, mate. He's got his phone in his glove box, Keezy.

12:31Keyzie:G'day, Sam, you mad bastard. How's the beautiful toadonga today? I'm like that. Yeah, good, man. Could you turn your radio down a bit there? I'm walking away from where it is you speak, mate. Oh, good on you, mate. Good on you, mate. Tell me, Sam, what do you do for a crust?

12:48Mike Minogue:I'm a diesel mechanic, mate.

12:49Keyzie:No, you're a diesel mechanic.

12:50Mike Minogue:Backbone. Yeah, messing. I think we've spoken to you before, haven't we, Samwise?

12:54Keyzie:No, no, first time, mate. Oh, good on you, mate. Is that right? Yeah, good. What's the plan for the rest of the day, Sam? You finished work? You're just chilling?

13:02Mike Minogue:I'll finish work and probably crack into at least six beers. Yeah, yeah. Good on you, Sam. Wednesday, eh, man? Yeah, how are you, baby? Yeah, exactly. Pump day. Better one. Yes. All right, Sam, you keep your phone on, mate. We could be giving you a call with some meat and some cash, all right? Lovely fellas. Cheers, mate. Cheers. Good on you, man. Love you, man.

13:18Keyzie:Yeah, great stuff.

13:18Mike Minogue:Nice fella.

13:19Keyzie:How good, eh, Phil? Maybe sitting in the sun there, crack open a cold one. Six beers. Durry or two.

13:25Mike Minogue:Yeah, yeah. Tell you what I'll be doing this Sunday, fellas. I'll be firing up the barbecue this National Lamb Day and raising a chop with my friends and family. Make sure you send us some photos. Yeah, could you?

13:35Keyzie:Oh, really? You don't even have a barbecue, do you?

13:37Mike Minogue:Oh, what? The Hauraki Big Show with Jace, Mike and Kesey. Tune in weekdays at four on Radio Hauraki.

13:45Keyzie:Ever clear there on the radio. Hauraki Big Show this beautiful Wednesday afternoon. The time is 4.39. And, fellas, I've got a bit of a conundrum and I want your honest opinion on this.

13:56Mike Minogue:What's this in regards to? Is it in regards to your new apartment in the city?

14:00Keyzie:Well, I guess kind of, yes.

14:05With Hoytie J.

14:08Keyzie:Yeah. Now, obviously, I walk home every night now. No biggie. And I walk to work sometimes, to walk around the place. And I can't help but notice the old lime scooters hooning all over the place. Jesus, they're fast. They are fast.

14:23Mike Minogue:They are very fast.

14:24Keyzie:And they're very quiet as well. And so they hoon past you. Yeah. You know, give me a heart attack. Go to turn and say, whoa, yeah, all that sort of jazz.

14:33Mike Minogue:It's kind of the opposite of you, right, because you're slow and really loud. Yes. Yeah. The elderly, they do get terrified by skateboards, scooters, that sort of stuff. So it tracks.

14:44Keyzie:They freak me out. Yeah, that's right. But to be honest with you, I've been seriously thinking to myself in the last couple of days, I should get the app for that so I could use them too. But I have a certain foreboding about it, genuinely. This is genuinely. I go, is that a good move, Hoardy J getting on? onto the old lime scooters because I feel like Hoity J hooning around with my bandana and skull candies on. Shirt off. A shirt off is maybe not genuinely a good idea. I think it's a terrible idea.

15:14Mike Minogue:Yes. I think it's a great idea. Yeah, well, I think you should go with Mogi then. Yeah, okay. Because he's got more wisdom than I do.

15:20Keyzie:Well, I mean, are they easier to control? You know, I'm not going to. I guess the question is, Kesey, why do you think it's a bad idea? And let's see if the same reason you think it's a bad idea is why I think it's a good idea.

15:31Mike Minogue:Okay. One night on a night out in Christchurch, I witnessed a man fall over, lie in a pool of blood, and he was unconscious and we had to take him to hospital and it was quite harrowing. Yeah. Second reason I think it's a bad idea. Oh, is that a bad idea? Yeah, yeah, yeah.

15:49Keyzie:I mean, that's stuck with me. I mean, if that happened to me, I wouldn't expect you to take me to hospital. I mean, I wouldn't ring old Keezy and go, Keezy, you need to take me to hospital. No, but I would, though. Oh, okay, good. You wouldn't be making any sense, though. No, true.

16:04Mike Minogue:Yeah, yeah. And the other thing is, you said, are they hard to control? Like, it's a scooter, you hop on it, and then you, like, push with one foot, and then you push a little button to go. Right, okay. That makes me think you have zero experience with a scooter or anything of the sort. What's the sort of braking setup that they've got there? A brake. There's a front brake and a rear brake. Have you ever been on a push bike before?

16:26You've ridden bitch. Yeah, I mean. Have you been the one holding the handlebars?

16:30Keyzie:And I've got my Ducati.

16:32Mike Minogue:That's a motorbike.

16:33Keyzie:Yeah, but no, not a pushbike, no. Never ridden a pushbike. I mean, I've ridden a pushbike. Yeah, yeah.

16:39Mike Minogue:Okay, why do you think it's a good idea? For the same reasons you outlined. I'm just thinking about the content. Huge amounts of content. But we'll get maybe one, maybe two breaks out of, oh, Hoody J has fallen off and has suffered a horrific head injury. Yeah, I mean, I'm hoping for something a little bit less than head injuries. I'm just hoping for general wrong thing, wrong time. I've buggered it up. You know, there's going to be many stages to it, Keeser. The first thing will be trying to get the app to work. Yeah, you're right. We'll get a couple of weeks out of that. Trying to link up your credit card to it.

17:13Get a couple of weeks out of that. Trying to turn it on. Trying to take a photo of when you've parked it. Yeah, true. Trying to work out the helmet. You know, there's so many stages to this.

17:23Mike Minogue:Actually, I'm picturing Jase, because when you park a LimeSkin, there are areas where you can and can't park. And it will just be like, no, sorry, you can't leave me here. And I'm picturing Jase being like, I've had this Lime Scooter for four days straight and I can't find where to park it. I'm just imagining Jase at home with 18 Lime Scooters in his lounge.

17:38Keyzie:Just on that, true story today, I did try and get the app, but I ended up putting on All Trails. It's called All Trails.

17:47Mike Minogue:Oh, that's the hiking app. Oh, yeah. And that costs money. Oh. Does it?

17:52Keyzie:That's a true story. So you paid for a hiking app. How does it happen? I don't know, man.

18:02Mike Minogue:But the good news is he's doing a great high cup in the Waitakere's tomorrow.

18:06Keyzie:The only thing is, too, is I wonder if I'll be a menace to the public. Oh, you absolutely will. I'll be like a flying impediment to the general public. Okay, I'm not doing it. I'm just going to keep walking.

18:19Mike Minogue:No, just no e-scooters, mobility scooters. That's more your thing. Thanks, man. Here's Linkin Park. The Hauraki Big Show. Weekdays from four on Radio Hauraki.

18:32Keyzie:Guns. Mmm. The roses there on the Radio Hauraki Big Show this Wednesday afternoon. The time is 4.53. Let's talk TV. What's on the telly with Mike Minogue?

18:49Fellas. Last night I watched Small Town Scandal on air. Neon. Neon. They've got two episodes out. It's based on Tom Sainsbury's podcast of the same name. He's done a couple of seasons of that. The show follows Toby, a disgraced journalist turned podcast host, who returns to his rural hometown to investigate the bizarre death of his millionaire uncle. Ah, interesting stuff. And it's a very heightened sort of a show. Tonally, they've done a really great job. you know it's a murder mystery essentially and what they've done is you know when you watch even like a broken wood Jase everybody really is a suspect yes and what they've done is they've taken that thing where everybody is a suspect and they're making everybody act as suspiciously as humanly possible completely over the top with how suspicious they're acting really weird quirky offbeat characters it's a really great cast Obviously there's Olsainzo there, but there's Rose Matafayos in it as well.

19:58A whole host of New Zealand's best comedians. Morgana O 'Reilly is another one. I watched two episodes. There's two episodes out. I'm assuming the rest will come out weekly. Highly recommend. It's a hard thing to make a good show, but they've nailed the tone right off the bat. The second episode is better than the first, as often happens. That's good. Tonally really, really good. I had lots of laughs in it there's a real shocking moment in the second episode which you'll enjoy Keezy when you get to that but I'm a solid four buzzies on this oh great stuff out of five possible buzzies

20:33Mike Minogue:yeah the interesting thing about this show is my wife has wanted to watch it ever since she heard that it was happening because she loves Tom Sainsbury he's a great man nice fella and I was like yeah right I will watch the New Zealand murder mystery comedy thing and then it starts off and everyone's really got wacky hairstyles and acting really goofy. Yeah. And all the characters are just so weird and you're just like, God, these people are all like nutters, you know. But then it's a nice mix of that humour and oddness with almost like Shaun of the Dead style or Hot Fuzz style, like quite graphic.

21:09Mike Minogue:The dead guy's like quite dead. Like in fact, my wife was like, oh. Yeah. And I was like, yeah, it's pretty full on, isn't it? You know, she almost freaked out. But it's a nice mix of like that when you know when Hot Fuzz and Shaun of the Dead where they skip between that comedy and then the fact that there's been a murder happen. Yeah. I quite enjoyed that. I mean, I personally gave that first episode, I've only watched one. Yes. I gave it probably like three and a half buzzies. Yeah. My wife, she would have given it, I reckon, 4.2 buzzies. Yeah, exactly. It's harder the first one because they're setting it up, but also the other good thing they did, the smart thing they did, was not do what a lot of shows do and try and introduce everybody in the first episode.

21:45They've left quite a few characters for the second, and I'm assuming later on. But once you get into it and you get into the swing of it, by that second one you realise, oh, these guys really have done an incredible job here. Everybody is an absolute Froot Loop. Yeah. Except for the mum who's a Froot Loop in a different way. The mum's great. And Rose Matafeo turns out. It's, yeah, it's a real, the small town thing is like freaky, small town, gossipy, weird people. Yeah. They do a really great job of it and there's some really, really good comedy. and just looking at Tom Sainsbury's face, he is an idiot, man.

22:20The character, not Tom Sainsbury. Yes. But he plays an idiot so well and just the little eye rolls he does, the I don't know what's going on sort of stuff. It's going to get better and better. I can't wait to see it. It's got all the makings of a Kiwi classic. Great stuff. And I say all of this being a very particularly harsh critic of New Zealand content. You know, I'm not saying, oh, this is great because it's New Zealand made. I'm more inclined to go the other way with New Zealand made stuff. Yeah.

22:47Keyzie:Oh, it's great stuff, fellas. Hey, now listen. It's on Neon. Neon. Yeah, I'll give it a gander.

22:53Mike Minogue:Small town scandal.

22:55Keyzie:Neon's crapping out on me for some reason at the moment. But anyway, that's another story. Is your TV plugged into the wall? Oh. Coming up after five o 'clock, there's an issue I want to address.

23:05Mike Minogue:So I'm picturing us going around to Jace's house next week. And he's got the microwave sitting on his entertainment unit and he's been trying to watch that.

23:14Keyzie:What were you saying? There's something I want to chat about after 5 o 'clock.

23:17Mike Minogue:Well, that's good because we do a radio show.

23:19Keyzie:What else have we got?

23:21Mike Minogue:I've got something I'd like to chat about, and also Mogi's got something he'd like to chat about. I've got a bone to pick.

23:25Keyzie:Oh, yes, you would have bone to pick. Yeah, that's right.

23:27Mike Minogue:Yeah, there's stuff. There's stuff. The Hauraki Big Show with Jase, Mike and Keezy. Tune in weekdays at 4 on Radio Hauraki.

23:37Keyzie:Welcome back, you massive backbones. Hope you're enjoying this absolutely glorious day here on What is it Wednesday?

23:45Mike Minogue:It's Wednesday, Jase.

23:46Keyzie:Wednesday, man. We call it What Is It Wednesday? Yes.

23:49Mike Minogue:This is the big show brought to you by Reburg Year. Serving good times and good food. Dine-in or takeaway Reburg Year today.

24:00Here he is, Burpee McGee. I didn't burp, man. Yes, you did. You had reflux because you stole some chips.

24:06Keyzie:I didn't... Can we stop, please? What do you mean? I am having to deal with unfounded allegations, people abusing me in the corridors about my so-called theft. And it's like, you guys have been sold an absolute line there. As I explain, it's just part of the show. That old hoity Jay steals chips. Ha, ha, ha. Of course, it's not true.

24:36Mike Minogue:This is very clever from Jase because you can pretend. You can just deny it. Yeah. He's like the Trump of the big show. It's just a joke on the show. It's his own version of the truth. Yeah, yeah. The interesting thing about Jase as well is I went and bought a packet of those exact chips that he keeps stealing. Yeah. And he ate pretty much none of them. It was shocking, wasn't it? It was. And he said it had no value because he hadn't stolen them. And this is not a joke. This is 100 % true. you're not even hungry, you just eat it because you like the theft part of it. You like the stealing.

25:12Keyzie:Well, I sort of liken it to, fellas, you know, beer never tastes as good as when it's free. You know what I mean? It's like when you used to, I used to have a sup of my father's beer when he was watching the soccer on television. Nothing's ever tasted as good as that because it was free. You know what I mean? You go and have a meal and if it's free, it's like, oh, this is so good. Like a TV, you know, if you break into someone's house and you steal it. Steal a TV. Movies never look so good.

25:37Mike Minogue:This is the best picture I've ever seen. Sorry, but the chips I gave you were free as well because I paid for them.

25:43Keyzie:Yeah, well, the chips you bought, actually, to be technically correct, were Doritos, and my bowels don't deal with Doritos. No, that was last week.

25:50Mike Minogue:Don't deal with Dorito dust. Apparently, you don't deal very well with Doritos, so this week I got you more snack changis, and you still didn't eat them. You just like the theft. You have to admit it.

26:01Keyzie:I'll tell you what. Admit it. There's a lot of emotion in the studio at the moment. And old Moggy's about to unleash, but in the meantime, here's Mew.

26:10Mike Minogue:The Hauraki Big Show with Jace, Mike and Kesey. Tune in weekdays at four on Radio Hauraki.

26:16Keyzie:Rage against the machine there on the radio. Hauraki Big Show this Wednesday evening. The time is 14 minutes past five o 'clock. Fellas, I've got a bone to pick.

26:27Mike Minogue:It's been bugging me. Clip that up with your pugs and send that off to the Radio Awards, man. What did he say? Right from the top when Jason throws it and coughs up a bucket of phlegm. Sorry, did you say you've got a bone to pick? Yeah, I said something that's been bugging me. I got a bone to pick.

26:48We get paid for this, in case anybody's wondering. Hey, fellas, Christmas is a special time of year, is it not? Agreed. It totally is, man. And it's a time where you bring people together, be it family, be it friends, be it workmates. And here at Radio Horeki, we do a secret Santa every year and it's something I look forward to greatly. This year, Kate Britton out there in the office, she decided that we should do a green secret Santa, which is where you're not buying more stuff that's inevitably going to landfill. It'll be something that's sitting around a home that you think would be useful to somebody else, but it's not so useful for you anymore.

27:24So all of us got involved in this, except Jase, obviously, who doesn't like participating in anything that goes on. And I was meant to buy your present. And I ended up with nothing. No, you got a book about someone. Yeah, but that wasn't from Jase. Yeah, yeah. That was something that got re-gifted. Yeah, that's right. To me, it was from Bono. That's right. Oh, Bono's Insights on the Wild. It's a page-turner. How good. Anyway, I put together a gift which I thought was pretty amazing. There was a bunch of things in there. I can't remember all of them. But one of them was a vacuum cleaner.

27:55Mike Minogue:Can I just, a$20 limit on this gift by the way Well the way I saw it was It's something of value If I choose to give something greater than the value of$20 That's up to me So be it Surely And so I gifted that, I wrapped it up really nicely And it turned out that Zoe, the producer for breakfast Was the lucky recipient of that And also there was an Apple speaker as well. I noticed that's gone home. But the vacuum cleaner has been laying around the studio, laying around the office, and has not been taken home. So I want to know what's going on. Now, I'm beginning to feel like she doesn't like it.

28:40Mike Minogue:I feel like there's a part you're missing from the vacuum cleaner description, which is a broken vacuum cleaner. It works absolutely fine. Oh, it sucks. Trust me, I've tested it. Believe me, it works. No, trust me. Not as hard as everyone else, but it works. Yeah.

28:58Keyzie:What sort of vintage would you put the vacuum cleaner in? I don't like to put an age on things, Jase. 70s maybe? Oh, God, no. No, no, no, no. No, no. 90s. 90s? Okay.

29:09Mike Minogue:It's like a 30-year-old vacuum cleaner held together with duct tape. Regardless. It was a gift given from the heart. The point of it is it was a gift given, and the gift has been given. The gift has been received and opened. The gift now belongs to Zoe. So if she doesn't like it, that's hurtful, I've got to say that, but it's now hers to deal with. The fact that it's laying around the studio is an absolute disgrace and it's an insult and it makes me wonder why we even bother with Christmas at all if that's going to be the attitude.

29:40Keyzie:You know, Mogi, I'd go so far as to say it's a slap in your face every time you come into work. It's a kick in my nuts. You know what I mean? It's like so disdainful. It is. Every day I have to see that.

29:51Mike Minogue:Yes. Pug Sam wants to weigh in here. Oh, it's Pug Sam. G'day, fellas. Hey, here he is. G'day, Pugs. Yeah, good, man. I also just wanted to weigh in on how beautifully Mike rapped the gift. It was in a garbage bag.

30:08Keyzie:In a garbage bag? Are you kidding me?

30:12Mike Minogue:That's all from me. Pugs, it was in black wrapping paper. Black plastic wrapping paper with a large opening. Right, okay. Thanks for that, Pug. See, that really does. And I used tape to close it up, and the only thing that was sticking out of it was a little bit of pipe. See, I personally am on Team Zoe here. I think that, and I remember Moggy saying something along the lines of, oh, great, I've got some old shit lying around in my office I can get rid of. That's what I remember him saying. And Zoe got it. It was just like, she's 20 or something, and she's like, cool, now I've got a broken vacuum cleaner.

30:45Mike Minogue:This is great. That's her vacuum cleaner. I gave it to her. She needs to get the F out of here. She can't just leave her old shit lying around.

30:59Keyzie:Oh, chain, turn it up. Pearl Jam.

31:02Mike Minogue:The Hauraki Big Show. Weekdays from four on Radio Hauraki.

31:06Keyzie:Yes, indeed. Blink 182 there on the Radio Hauraki Big Show this Wednesday evening. The time, 5.28.

31:13Mike Minogue:Fellas, I've got a bone to pick.

31:15Keyzie:I got a bone to pick.

31:17Mike Minogue:Nailed it that time. On my Instagram, right, I put up a story and you can ask a question and get people to just give you answers. Oh, yes. I've seen that. I've never done this before. But I thought, and actually my wife convinced me because she's like, oh, you should do more questions and interactivity on your Instagram. Yeah, that's true, man. And so I had a fight. I don't know. I have no idea. But I genuinely had a question that I thought one of my followers might actually have the answer to, and I tried doing research on it and I couldn't get a definitive answer. it so i put up a question and it was to do with my old motorbike that i'm restoring at the moment how do i ride this no it wasn't how do i ride this it was are there any ethanol free fuels in new zealand all right because they make fuel with ethanol which is like fine if you've got a modern car with fuel injection the older ones it really stuffs them up it's not the go and so i'm like which fuel do i put in this thing now is i'm pretty sure i put this in or is it this in and like bp's got different ones to z and all that just i don't know so i asked the question on my Instagram there and a few people gave me good answers.

32:21Mike Minogue:Oh, cool. Shout out to those people. Thanks for the good answers. The vast majority, however, were terrible answers of people who I think might have been taking the piss. Okay. For example, Riley said jet fuel. Cheers, Riley. Is that true? I don't know. I don't have access to any. Mark said up and go vanilla flavor. So, I mean, that is ethanol free, but I'm not going to put it in my motorbike. Okay.

32:50Keyzie:Well, it's such a baby little cycle. It'll probably go quite well.

32:54Mike Minogue:Cameron said, you're wheeze. Oh, yeah. You're wheeze. Yeah, because, yeah. Well, there's no ethanol in that. Well, when you've been hammering the piss. Yeah, I was going to say. It's pretty high octane.

33:05Keyzie:Be rife with ethanol.

33:06Mike Minogue:It is pretty much jet fuel, especially after a weekend like Magic Round. Chad said diesel. Benton said double browns. Bruce said buzzy fuel. Oh, yes. Buzzy fuel. Right. Teb said, pretty sure your midnight steamers will work. And this is the issue is I genuinely was, oh, I'm going to try out this new feature and just have a crack at it. And then people are sliding in saying, like Jordy said, Nippy's iced coffee will work. Sam said, could you make some biodiesel if you squeeze the juices from your meat patty nips?

33:43It's all good stuff. Yeah, it's great stuff. It's very interactive. You got the interaction, Gazi, that you were looking for.

33:49Mike Minogue:Maybe not the answers you were looking for, but you know. Mr. Mike Minogue said ass juice.

33:57Mike Minogue:What is the point? But that was a mistake. Yeah, but then you said, no, sorry, I meant ass juice.

34:06Mike Minogue:Did it work? I didn't try. I didn't have any on hand, unfortunately. But what have we done here? Why can't I just ask a simple question and get an answer? Well, you got an answer. I got several. I still don't know which ones because there was a variety of contradicting information with ass juice and buzzy biofuel mixed in.

34:27Keyzie:Yeah, well, I would go with ass juice.

34:31Mike Minogue:Thanks, Jess. The Hauraki Big Show with Jase, Mike and Kesey. Tune in weekdays at four on Radio Hauraki. Who wants to rethink it?

34:44Keyzie:Yes, indeed. Your chance to get yourself a$50 Reburger voucher. That's right. All you have to do is call when you hear this. Yum. During a song. I tell you who did do that, and that's Kyle. G'day, Kyle, you mad bastard. How's life?

35:00Mike Minogue:Yeah, not too bloody bad on this lovely afternoon.

35:03Keyzie:How about yourself? Yeah, good, thanks, Kyle. Good, thanks, Kyle, man. Yeah, really good. Good stuff, Kyle. Are you on your way home, obviously?

35:09Mike Minogue:I am indeed, yeah. Sweet. You going home to the little missus or the little man there? Oh, little missus and a couple of little cats as well. Oh, meow, meow. What are your cats' names, man? They're named Anna and Elsa, like from Frozen. Oh! Who came up with those? Is that your idea, man? No, that was what the shelter named them, and we didn't have the heart to change the names. Oh! You should have. No, that's cute, Cole. That's cute, man. Hey, Kyle, we're keen to give you a$50 Reburger voucher, man. We've just got to ask you some questions just to make sure you aren't AI. Yeah, yeah, of course, of course.

35:48Mike Minogue:First question, what do you do for a crust?

35:50Keyzie:I'm a bloody middle manager, aren't I?

35:53Mike Minogue:Oh, okay. Yeah, you get it, man. This guy gets it. Totally, totally. Yeah, yeah. What's for tea, Kyle? I'm thinking it might be bloody Reburger at the moment. Yeah, that's the one, man. No, but if it wasn't. It's got to be something else, though. Yeah, it has to be something else. Because you're not going to get this for months. Okay, that's fair enough. That's fair enough. I'm thinking the chicken steaks that are sitting in the freezer then. Chicken steaks. I've never heard of that. Neither have I. What's it you talked me through a chicken steak? I think they're a teagle product, and they've just got a nice crispy coating on the outside.

36:23Mike Minogue:It's like a giant chicken nugget. Oh, that was nice. Would it be a breast sort of cut in two and then crumbed?

36:31Keyzie:You know what? I don't know. I'll be honest with you. That's the one, man. Classic middle management.

36:36Mike Minogue:It's a teagle takeout.

36:37Keyzie:Yeah. It'll be your classic beaks and claws all just ground up with a bit of sawdust. No, it's not true. And then chuck it in there, put a bit of breadcrumb on it. Beautiful.

36:48Mike Minogue:No, I've got those exact products at home in my freezer and they're delicious. Yeah, good on you, Keezy. That doesn't surprise me. They are. They're all the good. That's all the bits you want, really. Why does it not surprise you?

36:58Keyzie:It's the kind of thing you'd eat.

36:59Mike Minogue:What, chicken? Oh, Keezy's eating chicken again.

37:01Keyzie:Don't get me started about your eating at the moment. He's actually just installed a walk-in freezer. Have you heard about this?

37:07Mike Minogue:Oh, has he? Sorry, third question, Kyle. We've gotten distracted. How often do you floss, man? At least three times a week. Oh, wow. That's pretty good. That's pretty good, man. What colour are your undies, Kyle? Currently, they are black. Yeah, okay. And final question, what is your deepest fear? Probably being left alone. Yeah. Well, you've got Elsa and that other whatever it's called. Elsa and Simba. Congratulations, Kyle. The system has come back and said you aren't AI and you will, in fact, get a Reburger voucher, all right? Oh, buddy, happy to hear it. Thank you. Good on you, mate. You hold the line and old Pugsana will give you a voucher there.

37:50Mike Minogue:Nice fella.

37:51Keyzie:Have you really got a walk-in freezer?

37:54Mike Minogue:You're describing an industrial-sized chiller that, like, a restaurant would have. Yeah. Yes, I do have one of those.

38:03Mike Minogue:There's Living Colour. The Hauraki Big Show. weekdays from four on Radio Hauraki.

38:10Keyzie:David Bowie there on the Radio Hauraki big show this Wednesday afternoon. Now, in case you haven't heard, old Hauraki has given away a boat, fellas. That's right. And it's as easy as to get in a draw for it. Just listen up.

38:23Mike Minogue:You text BOAT to 3483. Yes. Can't be that easy. No, it is. Well, then you fill out a little form thing. Oh, I knew it. Still pretty easy, Mogi, just to be honest. No. You then fill out a little form, chuck your details in, and come up with a name for the boat because the winning person, whatever name they submitted, will be then written on the side of that boat when we give it away. It is a fin chaser, 535 centre console, 60 horse Mercury, comes with a Voyager trailer, 75 grand's worth of kit, fellas. And all you have to do is name it. Heaps of names still coming through. I'm going to do the thing where I read them out and then you guys sort of basically diss it.

38:59Keyzie:Well, not necessarily. If they're good names, we won't diss it. Okay, wet dream. Nice. Okay. Yep. Nice. Love it. Love a wet dream. Well, it's wet and it's a dream to have a boat. It's a wet dream. So there's a double meaning there. Okay. Is it great? No.

39:15Mike Minogue:The scrote boat. Now, I don't get it. Now, I know that scrote rhymes with boat. Yeah. But outside of that, I don't get it. Unless the boat was made out of a scrotum.

39:27Keyzie:Or there's only scrotums on the boat.

39:30Mike Minogue:A boat bloody time.

39:33Keyzie:No.

39:34Mike Minogue:I don't mind that at all. Come on, man. I think that's funny. Fisherman's Fantasy. No, that's just tokenism at its worst. Let's just remember these are suggestions from listeners that could be listening. But they need someone as feedback, Keezy. Right, okay. And also, by the way, we're not choosing. Like, it's random. It's a lucky dip. Yeah, yeah. It's random. Yeah. Unsinkable 2. That's always a classic. Salt and Finnegar. Salt and vinegar What do you think about that one, Kesey? I don't know. I don't get it. The chum guzzler Well, salt and vinegar Chum guzzler is a yes from me. Yeah, it's a yes from me as well.

40:18Mike Minogue:What were you saying there, Jase?

40:19Keyzie:You don't get salt and vinegar.

40:22Mike Minogue:Nah. I don't. It doesn't make any sense. Oh, fin. Like a fish fin. Oh, here it is. I genuinely thought they were trying to do a play on words like finger. Yeah, sorry. A number one, best boat in the world. What do you say? Best in the world, A number one.

40:41Keyzie:That's the winner right there. No, you can't say that's the winner right there. It's got to be the best one, surely. It's not. It's got to be A number one.

40:50Mike Minogue:But that is a very good one. Someone here has just named it Stiffy.

40:58Keyzie:That's someone who just simply doesn't care, eh? So that's stiffy. I like it. I like it.

41:03Mike Minogue:But then you win, and you've got a bow with stiffy written all over it. Yeah, that's good. Well, look, New Zealand, if you think you can do better and come up with a good name, text the word BOAT to 3483, and you can be a winner. Okay.

41:15Keyzie:Sounds good, man. Hey, coming up, we've got one of Keezy's Winter Olympic updates. Yeah. How good.

41:25Mike Minogue:The Hauraki Big Show with Jace, Mike and Keezy. Tune in weekdays at four on Radio Hauraki.

41:31Keyzie:Yes indeed, welcome back you massive backbones. Hope your Wednesday hump day is going along very nicely indeed. You're listening to The Big Show, brought to you by ReBurger.

41:39Mike Minogue:Beef, chicken, vegan and vegetarian options available. ReBurger, redefining the norm.

41:48What's so funny, Moggy? Oh my God. Pugs Zone has just done... I haven't even finished it. I'm not even halfway through it. A fantastic new clip's gone up on the Big Show Instagram page there. It's probably up on Facebook as well. But it's from the other day when we were talking about you, Jason. You'd moved into the city. Yes. And you're having to put up with the sound of people out on the street. Getting used to the new noises in your new apartment here in the city. And some of the videos that Pugs has put along with the audio. So absolutely second to none. I'm crying laughing. I can't wait to finish it, get along and have a look.

42:25It's going to be popular that one.

42:27Keyzie:Look, I'm not a big fan of it, but I have to acknowledge it's genius. I have to acknowledge it. There's a pretty hard cut there that just will send you, I promise.

42:40Mike Minogue:Yeah, you're kind of not prepared for it. All I can say is I can't believe he managed to get footage of you in your apartment.

42:47Keyzie:Yeah, it's amazing, eh, Casey? It's amazing.

42:51Mike Minogue:Hey, what are you having for dinner tonight, Jase?

42:53Keyzie:Actually, my wife just asked me that. We'll just go out somewhere, man.

42:56Mike Minogue:You've eaten so much pizza.

42:58Keyzie:Don't. I was going to have a bone to pick right here, but I chose not to.

43:03Mike Minogue:Go for it, man. You're picking over all the other food.

43:05Keyzie:Keezy came in today after eating 20 dumplings. 15. You know it's 15. Saying, I'm in a food coma. Did he not, Moggy? Yeah, 100%. Then we got, someone stole some pizza for us. There were three pieces there. Keezy and I had a piece each. And then Keezy went, oh, do you want this last piece? And I went, oh, no, you have it, given that he's just been in a food coma, thinking he'll go, oh, no. But did he say, no, Mogi? No, he ate it. No, he shoved it down his gob. Then someone brought us some more pizza, and Keezy's had four further pizzas, pieces of pizza, and now he's going home to butter chicken.

43:45Keyzie:I am disgusted.

43:47Mike Minogue:God, you put so much mustard on every story. Look, I just messaged my wife and just said, hey, a lot of pizza at work. I'll have my dinner tomorrow night. Righto. Because she's out tomorrow night with one of her friends. She's going to drinks. So tomorrow night I'll have the leftover butter chicken. Yeah, yeah, sure you will. And she said, yeah, good idea. I just imagine that you're just going to get up at sort of midnight, one o 'clock in the morning. And just chill out. Your wife's going to hear noises in the house. She'll go, geesey, geesey. And you're not there and she gets up and there's creaking in the house and there's old Kesey's lit by the light of the refrigerator and he's just shoveling butter chicken down his gut.

44:24Cold butter chicken. You know why? With sauce all down his chicken.

44:27Keyzie:That's because his gut has expanded so much and he needs to fill it.

44:33Mike Minogue:I'm disgusted. Jase, I eat a regular amount of food. You eat a very small amount of food.

44:39Keyzie:Would you say what you've eaten the last three hours is a regular amount? I'm sorry.

44:42Mike Minogue:I would say that it's about half as much as Mogi's eaten. What? You're bringing me into it. How dare you? Oh, come on.

44:50Keyzie:He's head like a hole.

44:52Mike Minogue:The Hauraki Big Show. Weekdays from four on Radio Hauraki.

44:56Keyzie:The Blankies there on the Radio Hauraki Big Show this Wednesday evening. The time, 13 minutes past six o 'clock. Are we going to do this, are we?

45:04Mike Minogue:Yeah, Winter Olympics update. What's happening in old Italy at the old Winter Olympics there with me, Keezy?

45:15Mike Minogue:Hey, fellas. Doosh, doosh, doosh, doosh. This segment designed to keep everyone abreast of what's happening in the Winter Olympics. Yay. Looking good for New Zealand so far. We are 14th on the medal tally. The medal tally. 14th on the medal tally. Oh. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

45:33Keyzie:He's having a cholesterol stroke.

45:35Mike Minogue:Yeah, I'm going to be honest. Everything's a bit blurry. Luca Harrington got bronze in the men's free ski slope style final. Did he? Which is pretty good. our second medal so far. Obviously, Zoe Sadowski-Synic got one the other day. We've still got a few athletes to compete in the free-ski and snowboard events, slope-style, half-pipe, et cetera. However, the biggest news out of the Winter Olympics is that an Olympic athlete won bronze. This was part of the, was it like the biathlon or something? 20-kilometer men's biathlon. That's where you go for a ski and then you shoot things. Yeah, I'm pretty sure it is that, yeah.

46:12Good sport. Yeah, it is real good.

46:15Mike Minogue:Well, I reckon that's quite cool, actually. Yeah. It's cool, but is it a sport? Yes. Ski, ski, ski, ski, ski, ski, bang. Well, skiing's a sport and shooting is a sport. So put it together. Yeah, it is a sport. Sterler Holm Ligrid is his name. He's from Norway. He won bronze. And during his sort of interview afterwards, this is what he had to say.

46:51Mike Minogue:Yes.

46:56Mike Minogue:I was a bit late for that. So what he was saying? What do you mean? What he was saying there? I haven't even translated it for you. Shock and burst. Yeah.

47:04Keyzie:Too late, buddy. You did it. You pay the consequences, I'm afraid.

47:07Mike Minogue:I'm sorry, you know what he's saying. Yes. He, sadly, Kees, and for those out there who don't speak the lingo, he cheated on his long-time partner while he was in the Olympic Village, Jase. He did, yes. And he came clean. He owned up to her. His partner, who was back home in Norway, can you imagine cheering him on? Yes. With all the family in the sitting room. Oh, absolutely right. And so she's immediately left him. She's been embarrassed and humiliated. and then he's come out and thought that the best way to win her back is to humiliate her further by publicly crying when being awarded with the bronze medal, was it there, for the biathlon, duathlon?

47:49Mike Minogue:I'm sorry, have you read this or did you take all that from that? No, it's just what he said. You're not listening, man. He's in tears there. It was annoying. It was pretty emotional. He's crying. It's a bit of a humiliation.

47:59Keyzie:You heard the phrase, Mogi, too little, too late? Thank you. I've never heard that. What does that mean? Too much too soon or just a little too late. The grass is greener. Have you heard that one? Oh, yeah. Yeah.

48:11Mike Minogue:Yes. What does that have to do with it? What goes on tour stays on tour. Except for this case because he went on TV and spoke about it. Well, Jase was saying, oh, yeah, the mistake he's made is admitting it. That's what I said. The Hauraki Big Show with Jase, Mike and Keezy. Tune in weekdays at four on Radio Hauraki.

48:33Keyzie:Smashing Pumpkins here on the radio. Hodaki Big Show this Wednesday evening. Let's give out some advice.

48:40Mike Minogue:Be pretty nips 69. At gmail.com. Get in touch with the fellas. It's actually quite beautiful, isn't it? It's lovely. I haven't heard Pugs singing that for many, many months. I know. Actually, can we have that again? If you just listen to Pugs' voice here. Oh, yeah, here we go. Be Pretty Nip 69 At gmail.com You know what? Get in touch It's sexy man With the fellas What's happened is I completely forget That it goes Be Pretty Nip 69 And then it stops You guys add the Nah ha ha ha Yeah that's what we've been doing

49:21Keyzie:Yes fair

49:21Mike Minogue:I thought that was how he was doing it Right But no Hey thanks for letting that one breathe there fellas Nice What do we think? Good I like it Better than us singing? No. Hey, this one comes in from Anonymous. And don't forget, meetpattynips69 at gmail.com is a real email address. We're starting to run low now, so if you do send in questions, good chance you'll get a reberg about you. G'day, fellas. I have a massive issue where my two young cats keep bringing in giant wetters into the house at night, as that is what they like to hunt. They bring them in alive, and I wake up every morning to a new one in my house near my bed.

49:56Mike Minogue:No joke, these bastards are the size of a six-inch sub. Any advice on how to make my cat stop this behaviour or what I should do with my excess of wetters? Cheers, Anonymous.

50:09Keyzie:Well, you could move into an apartment. Apartment. That way they don't get to go outside. Yeah. They just go insane inside, but they're not bringing horrendous critters from the bush in your backyard. Because a wetter is terrifying. Have you seen one? Yeah, they are a formidable-looking insect, it has to be said. Did Jizz used to bring in any other than skinks? Anything a bit more substantial than that? True story. She once caught a little bird, and she had the bird in her mouth, and she walked into the lounge freaking out, because you could tell by her eyes she didn't know what to do with it.

50:44Keyzie:And so she just had this bird in her mouth, and she was just looking at all of us, going, what do I do with this? and then she dropped it and my daughter went, oh my God, oh my God and then put it in a box and revived it and then released it about an hour later. Really? Yes.

51:00Mike Minogue:That's nice. So you reckon that was Jizz, your cat? Was it Jizz's first ever birth?

51:05Keyzie:Yes, I think so. That's why she was so freaked out about it. And she actually, on that front too, she did bring in a lot of crickets. Oh yeah, crickets. Yes. You don't see a lot of crickets. Yeah. Crickets. I wonder if... And it's amazing she never did bring in a wetter. Maybe she did because there'd be a mountain of wetters around our place for sure. Yeah, probably.

51:25Mike Minogue:Have you seen a wetter recently though? They are terrifying. Yeah, they are. They've always been terrifying. They're shocking. Have I seen one recently? Yeah, I don't know what's happened with wetters recently. Oh, there's more of them? They wear leather jackets now. They've got switchblades. 100%. They are way more intense looking now.

51:42Keyzie:Do you remember my wetter story I told you about a year ago? No. On the farm there?

51:48Mike Minogue:Your wettest.

51:49Keyzie:Oh yeah! You squished it and all the juice went in your mouth. I swished, I had a broom handle and went squirt and it squirted into my mouth. Was your mouth open when you were

52:01Mike Minogue:doing the broom handle? Yeah. Oh dude that is. It was so disgusting. Look in terms of what you can do here, it's just the nature of it and we've been through this time and time again. It's a cat, you've got cats. That's it. So you can close your bedroom door so they don't bring them in. But, yeah, you're pretty limited on options there, aren't you?

52:20Keyzie:You should do what they do in Australia with cat curfews. Yes. After a certain period of time, they're not allowed outside. Really? Yes.

52:27Mike Minogue:That's interesting. Yeah. Like 6 o 'clock.

52:30Keyzie:From 6 o 'clock onwards, they're inside. Because they're laying waste.

52:33Mike Minogue:Yeah, right. To the local floor and fauna. Like your wedders. You ask the wedders. They'd love it. I'm not talking to wedders. They'd love it. Last one I saw had a leather jacket and a bandana on. And a switchblade. Yeah, and a switchblade. So, anyway, I hope that helps. Meet PaddyNip69 at gmail.com. The Hauraki Big Show, weekdays from four on Radio Hauraki.

52:59Keyzie:Well, there you go, you mad bastards. That's the big show done and dusted for hump day. We got through it, fellas. I was absolutely buggered at the start of the show. So was I. Absolutely buggered. I had an early wake up this morning and, yeah, I was absolutely stuffed. But just the energy that you always bring, unbelievable. We've been really good. Reinvigorated, aren't we, fellas? Really good. Hey, Keezy, what's the podcast outro clip today?

53:23Mike Minogue:After an extremely successful podcast outro yesterday, we've got another hypothetical question on today's one. I'm out of this conversation. Jase, man, come on. We used to have fun on this show, man.

53:35Keyzie:I'm not now talking about wrestling with my own ****. All right? I draw the line, man.

53:43Mike Minogue:So it's just a little sneak peek of what our hypothetical question was all about. Jase, you refused to answer that one, man. Have you thought about it more?

53:50Keyzie:Come on.

53:51Mike Minogue:What's wrong with hypothetical questions?

53:53Keyzie:It's just stupid. Hey, Moggy. What are you up to tonight? Hey, Moggy. Going to ride my bicycle home? Yeah, nice. Yeah. Lovely evening out there, Phil. Perfect for a nice little bike ride. Yeah, a little push-bike ride there. And then I don't know. I'm going to see if there's any more small-town scandal, but I'm worried that it might be weekly now. Right, okay. It will annoy me. But on that note, I've got to start watching Night of the Seven Kingdoms, or whatever it's called. Yes, I watched the latest episode last night, actually. It's good. It's really good. Great. I like it. Great. I like it.

54:23Kesey, what are you up to, man?

54:26Mike Minogue:I'm sorry to eat.

54:27Keyzie:A couple of snacks. Yeah, yeah.

54:29Mike Minogue:I've had my dinner tonight.

54:30Keyzie:It is going to be a horrific midnight steamer tonight. It is going to be an absolute horror show.

54:42Mike Minogue:Yeah, yeah. I'm going to go home, I'm going to eat the leftover butter chicken and just set my alarm for midnight. You won't need to. It's on the body clock. Yeah, yeah, you're right.

54:56Mike Minogue:And then go and just do a massive steamer, man. That's about it.

55:03Keyzie:That's good stuff, Casey. That's good stuff.

55:06Mike Minogue:What about you, Jase?

55:08Keyzie:Oh, I don't know, man. just walk home listen to some tunes and my skull candies you know that's cool man a bit of exercise yeah good for the prostate

55:18Mike Minogue:see you tomorrow at four o 'clock bye