FULL SHOW: Ol' Filthy-J

10:55You guys laugh way more at stuff that I don't think is as funny

11:01Jase:But by and large, I mean I haven't seen any here That is against the filth Thank you What about this? My poor duck is in the car with me He heard the whole thing and won't stop crying now Thanks a lot You know what I mean? Yes Yes And I'm assuming with laughter

11:19Keyzie:as ducks crying with laughter. I turn on the radio and all I hear is Jase worrying about Mike's penis. Yeah. You know what I mean? Kia kaha. That's all right, man. I care about you. That's all. Yeah. Well, look, obviously the audience is in favour of the filth, so we'll keep it. I think we're just going to have to lock it in, right? Yeah. You don't have to tell me to lock it in. It's already in there, Keezy.

11:41Jase:It could be a regular segment, you know. Yes.

11:44Keyzie:I'm happy to do that.

11:45Jase:Yeah, five days. We'll start with five days a week and see how it goes from there. Five days of filth. Five days of filth. Oh, that's got a ring to it. What's the segment called? Five days of filth. Oh, okay. All right, well, you decided, New Zealand. Make sure you stay tuned, by the way. Coming up shortly, another chance to get yourself in the draw to join us in Fiji.

12:02Keyzie:My wife made pasta last night, and it was so bland, I shoved it up my a**. The Hauraki Big Show with Jace, Mike, and Keezy. Tune in weekdays at four on Radio Hauraki. The Big Show Swingers Club is back, and this time it's going global. For... Bula Vinaka. We're going to Fiji, fellas. Yeah, man. We're going to play golf over there too.

12:30Jase:Can I have a cocktail? What are you going to have cocktail-wise?

12:36Um...

12:37Keyzie:Dunno. I'm not really familiar with cocktails. Yeah. There's the screaming orgasm, of course. Yeah. Last time I was there I had one I had a few in the hot tub It was called Bananarama

12:52Jase:Is that right? What do you have with banana? I wouldn't drink a banana or anything It tastes like a banana smoothie But it had like, I don't know, rum or something Rum, sounds rummish Now I drank them responsibly obviously I sort of find they're pretty difficult to get any kind of result out of I had a lot of pina coladas on my honeymoon And I just couldn't get, you know? The buzz going. Yeah, man. I mean, I was buzzed off being married. Yeah, right. But that other buzz.

13:19Keyzie:Right, yeah, yeah.

13:19Jase:You know what I mean? Hey, fellas. We'll work it out. I'm going to get a massive buzz from flying Fiji Airways and from staying at the Intercontinental Fiji Golf Resort and Spa for a long weekend of playing golf at a championship level course, going snorkeling, and just having massively chilled out vibes.

13:35Keyzie:Yeah, man. It's going to be awesome. Seriously, it's going to be great times. G'day, Reuben, you mad bastard. How's life? Yeah, hello. Hello. How are you going, Reuben? Yeah, splendid. Yeah, backbone. Yeah, backbone. What do you do for a crust, Reuben? I'm a brain surgeon.

13:53Jase:Oh, yeah, right. It feels like we're talking to AI or something. Are you a brain surgeon for real, Reuben? Yeah, man. Hey, sounds legit, man. I like it. Sounds legit.

14:06Keyzie:And do you like a bit of a smack around here, Reuben? Yeah, I like smacking around a bit, yeah. Yeah. Yeah, good on you, mate. And who would you take with you? Probably take my wife. Yeah, okay. Good on you, mate. Will you stay on the line there and old Pugson will look after you? G'day, Kendall, you mad bastard. How's life? Yeah, good. Thanks, yourself? Yeah, good. Thanks, mate. Good. What are you doing this Friday afternoon slash early evening here, Kendall? I'm about to go out to my partner's house. Lasagna. Oh. Nice, man. What's his name? Her name's Bailey. Oh, her name's Bailey. Wow, so you guys, so Kendall and Bailey, both unisex names, you know what I mean?

14:46So, yeah, interesting. Yeah, yeah.

14:47Jase:How about that? Crazy. Is her lasagna any good, man? Sorry, it's her dad's. Oh, it's her dad's lasagna. Yeah, he's a chef. Well, not really a chef, but not professional. He's the one cooking it, so that makes him the chef. Yeah, good on you, you backbone.

15:02Keyzie:Do you hammer his beers responsibly when you're there? Oh, yeah, we like to share a couple, yeah. Yeah, yeah, good on you, mate. And you like a bit of a smack around, don't you, Kendall, on the old golf course there? Yeah, yeah, I do, for sure. Love it. Good stuff, mate. Well, you stay on the line as well, and Pucks, I'm going to look after you, all right? Awesome, thank you. Bull up! Racism alert. Racism alert. What? I mean, I can get IT to come in and have a look at it and adjust the sensitivity of the racism alarm if you want. Could you, please? It just goes off on its own, man. Yeah. Don't know what to tell you.

15:41Oh, bit of Kingsley Leon.

15:45Keyzie:What? Kingsley Leon. Turn it up. The Hauraki Big Show. Weekdays from four on Radio Hauraki. He has indeed guns. Rose is there on the Radio Hauraki Big Show this Friday afternoon. Let's talk TV. What's on the telly? with Mike Minogue.

16:11Keyzie:Yes.

16:17Jase:Last night I watched something that I've been looking forward to greatly. It's called A.K.A. Charlie Sheen. It's a two-part documentary series on Netflix. I think each episode's, well, the one last night was 90 Minutes, the first one I watched. Charlie Sheen is a producer on it, so he's all in. He's telling all the secrets. He's telling all the yarns. Charlie Sheen, of course, being an actor who made his name in Platoon way back in the day, did Wall Street with Oliver Stone, a whole bunch of stuff. Very, very talented guy, but also a lot of demons. Yes. And it is my favourite kind of thing to watch.

16:54Jase:It's the documentary equivalent of reading an autobiography of someone like Slash or something like this. The yarns are out the gate. So he's, we'll just go and get on the hammer. Like him and Nick Cage used to go out and just get smashed to bits. And they're on a flight to Las Vegas is one of the stories. And Nick Cage gets on the microphone there. Nobody can see him. And he starts acting like he's the pilot and saying he's not feeling very well and that they're going down. Doing a big five-minute steal. That season when the plane lands, they're met with six police officers and placed under arrest.

17:28Jase:And they have to go outside and have a yarn. Charlie Sheen, all his mates. Now, what Nicolas Cage doesn't know is that Charlie Sheen has got 34 grams of cocaine strapped to his upper thigh when this happens. So if it goes any further, then he is going to be in prison for 25 to life. He is done and dusted. But the cops were fans of the two of them as actors and just let them go. Oh, my goodness. The stories are unreal. The way it's directed is unbelievable. The interviews, he grew up with Sean Penn. They lived next door to each other. They would make movies together. It is the best directed, best edited documentary.

18:07Jase:I can't remember in how long. It's amazing. It's very, very funny. It's also tragic. It's an unbelievable story that actors get to do whatever they want in this sort of realm. When you're at that kind of level, they can fail on a massive scale. but because they make so much money, they can just come back and do it all over again. So I'm going to watch the second episode of that tonight. This is maximum five-star buzzies. This is Mr. In-Between level. It's a different kind of thing, but it is... It's like Grand Designs level. It's like Grand Designs. Wow, that's saying something. It is magnificent.

18:43Jase:It's on Netflix? It's on Netflix. Feast Your Eyes, a.k.a. Charlie Sheen, the best thing I've watched this year. Brilliant. Yeah.

18:51Keyzie:I remember watching a little clip with his co-star on Two and a Half Men. Yeah. And he was talking about, you know, Charlie would come to work in the morning and say, I wrote my car off, you know, and I was in a prison, and I was in a police cell for a couple of hours there, and I got in a bit of trouble and blah, blah, blah. But it's always true. It's not like a fake story. These things would actually happen to him. And happen to him day after day. Day after day. I have nothing to offer, fellas. All right, I'll go then because we're tight on time. watched the second episode of Here We Go, British comedy sitcom on TVNZ Plus second episode, way funnier than the first episode very, very, very funny show although my wife gets a bit anxious because the whole idea is the family's a shambles they're always running late and my wife's like, oh my god this is so frustrating we can only watch it if it's like a chill vibe she's like, they better not be running late this episode because it stresses her out because she hates running late Just before you go, Keezy, I just remembered I did a strange thing last night and watched a comedy called Brass...

19:54Keyzie:Brassic. Brassic. Yeah, yeah, it's very funny. It's really good. Very funny. What'd you watch that on? Netflix. Netflix. Four buzzies out of five that show. Here we go on TVNZ+. What was yours, Netflix? Brassic. Three and a half buzzies at this point. Wow, there you go. The Hauraki Big Show. Weekdays from four on Radio Hauraki. Yes, indeed. Arctic Monkeys there on the Radio Hauraki Big Show this Friday afternoon. in the time, 4.57. Don't forget the Dunedin Beer Festival, the Craft Beer and Food Festival, is happening on the 7th and 8th of November at Forsyth Bar Stadium down in Dunedin. We are going down.

20:28We will be broadcasting from the Beer Festival on the Friday. Tickets are available now, dunedinbeerfest.co.nz. However, if you go to hodaki.co.nz, name our big show, Hazy Pale Ale, which we've made in collaboration with Emerson's. You could win not only tickets to the event, but free flights and free accommodation as well for you and a mate.

20:47Keyzie:How good, man. It's going to be fun. Hey, now, listen, plenty coming up after five o 'clock. Got a bit of sport chat. And also, of course, it's a Friday, so the Friday throbber. Stay tuned. The Hauraki Big Show with Jase, Mike and Keezy. Tune in weekdays at four on Radio Hauraki.

21:10Keyzie:It's the Hauraki Big Show's Friday throbber. Doosh, doosh.

21:18Jase:I'll let one of you guys explain the theme. The theme? Well, first of all, let's explain what we're doing here. This is the Throbber. We've been doing it for four-plus years now, Keezy. God, it's been going great, Guns. Each of us plays a sick tune. Well, most of us do. And then you, the audience, get a chance to vote on the one you most want to hear. First of two votes wins. Then we play out that song. Today, the theme is we want to inspire the wahs. What song would we play for them prior to the game to get them absolutely fizzing before they run out and get pumped by the Panthers? Come on, Moggy, man.

21:54I don't get pumped, man. They're going to get up.

21:56Keyzie:I hope so, man. I hope so. Yeah, it's interesting. We'll have a bit of sport chat later on. I've got strange, conflicting vibes on this game. I haven't settled on one or the other yet. Well, I can't wait until you do.

22:09Jase:That'll be good stuff. I'll let you know. People are dying to know, yeah. Because once you do settle on it, that'll influence my betting and stuff. Yeah, yeah, totally. Absolutely. I'll go first today, fellas, if it doesn't matter to anybody else. I've gone with a little bit of tool, a little bit of...

22:42Jase:Yeah, boy. Get it in you. There's a lot of listeners out there that love the tool. So start ringing up mouth yells. I completely misunderstood. I thought it was just like songs to... I don't remember if you were just playing a random song to fire them up. So it's not related to the wahs in any way, is it? It's just a song you played a wah. Just a song to fire them up. Have you done the same thing, Jase? Yeah. All right, well, what's your song?

23:05Keyzie:Bit of Seek and Destroy by Metallica. Yeah.

23:12Jase:Yeah, boy.

23:16Keyzie:Go out there and destroy them, fellas.

23:25I think I've won twice with Seek and Destroy. Have you? Hey. It's a tune, one of my favourite Metallica tunes. So I chose one that sort of had something to do with the game. Sure. Cool. Because it's time for these guys to stop holding back and galvanise.

23:51Keyzie:Don't hold back. Don't hold back. Yeah. I get it. Yeah, sorry, fellas. They didn't fire them up, Keezy. No, that works. No, it's not about firing them up. I thought it was a song to do with getting the wahs to win. It's all good, man. It still works. It just seems pretty convenient you guys changed it out at the last minute. That's all I'm saying.

24:08Jase:It was in the chat and everyone agreed to it. I don't know what to tell you, man.

24:11Keyzie:Ah, well, here's the exciting thing. You decide, New Zealand. and give us a call right now on 0800 Hodaki. And let's get back to the tunes in the meantime. The Hodaki Big Show. Weekdays from four on Radio Hodaki.

24:28Keyzie:It's the Hodaki Big Show's Friday throbber. Douche, douche. Yes, indeed. Songs to fire up the Waratahs. Oh, the Waratahs. Oh, my God, Jase. The Warriors. Tomorrow. And also, incidentally, can I just say the All Blacks as well? It doesn't just have to be the Warriors.

24:47Jase:Well, it does, because that's what it is, because it's about the finals.

24:50Keyzie:Yeah, but I mean, this is a test match against the box as well. We want them fired up for that.

24:54Jase:Oh, well, I would have chosen a different song. Can we start again? Yeah, let's just change the... Yeah, we're going to have to change it.

24:58Keyzie:It's all about getting the teams fired up. No, it's about getting the Warriors fired up.

25:01Jase:I want it for the Warriors, yeah.

25:04Keyzie:Well, it's good that we were so specific with our songs then. Mogi went for a bit of tool. Yeah.

25:14I am a star I am a star

25:24Keyzie:Hoodie J went with a bit of Metallica.

25:34They don't do solos like that anymore, do they? That's an all-timer, seek and destroy. And I went for the old Beastie Boys. Chemical Brothers. Chemical Brothers. As soon as I said it. That's wrong.

25:58It's time for them to galvanise. They need to come together as a team, eh?

26:01Keyzie:Totally. G'day, Jordan, you mad bastard. How's life? Very well, thank you, Jason. How are you? Yeah, good, thank you, Jordan. What are you going for there, mate? Oh, I'm going for Keezy. I think that'll get me going for a Friday. Oh, you'd love it, mate. Good stuff. Good on you, man. Good on you, mate. G'day, Jeremy, you mad bastard. How's life? Yeah, good, Jase. Yourself? Yeah, good, thanks, mate. What are you running with there, Jeremy? We'll go with Bogey today, please. Yeah, good on you. Okay, yeah, no worries, mate. G'day, Hayden, you mad bastard. How's life? What's up, sickos? Good. Yeah, good stuff, Hayden.

26:32Keyzie:What are you going for there, Hayden? I'm going for the jizz man. Yeah, good on you, mate. Wait, hang on. There's only one jizz man in the show. Come on. What are you jizz bot? Okay, so you can... He's a jizz son, isn't he? What's that? Don't worry. Okay. Oh, Jake, you get to decide, mate. What are you going to decide here? How exciting. Yeah, young fellas. Good, mate, good. I'm going to have to throw a bone to old Mogey. Good on you, brother.

27:02Jase:Good on you, you mad dog. Good on you, mate. Up the whars, brother. Yeah, up the whars. Stick around and our old Pugsana will give you a million bucks, man. Yeah, man, you get a million dollars for choosing Mogey. Thanks, Jake.

27:15Keyzie:So a bit of tool, fellas. A bit of tool, fellas. All right. Turn it up. It's your throbber. The Hauraki Big Show with Jace, Mike and Keezy. Tune in weekdays at four on Radio Hauraki. Tool there on the Radio Hauraki Big Show this Friday afternoon. The time is 5.21. That's your Friday throbber, fellas. I know for a fact that the Wahs would love to hear that before their finals.

27:38Jase:Yeah, I know.

27:38Keyzie:I was kind of thinking if I was sitting in a changing room whether that would fire me up that song. I don't know that it would. Yeah, well, I mean. Talk about getting high.

27:46Jase:Yeah, well, that's right. Well, you do get high, man, high on winning finals games, I find. And that's the thing there, Hoere J. You wouldn't want to listen to it because you don't understand the mind of an athlete like I do. Sure. And like the listeners do, which is why I took out the win today. How's the leaderboard looking there, Keezy? you mad dog. The thromber scoreboard right now. You've got Mogi and Hoity J tied for first place, both on 10. Wow. But, Jase, you've got two asterisks now. What's that about?

28:16Keyzie:Yeah, we had a bit of an atrocity last Friday. What happened? We had to ditch our song halfway through that, but I won with. There was a few expletives on there, Keezy, which we didn't thoroughly investigate.

28:27Jase:I'm trying to remember who it was.

28:28Keyzie:Pantera. It was Pantera.

28:30Jase:There was a chorus of F-bombs throughout. So what happened there? Was it you didn't actually listen through your throbber? Correct. He sort of heard the first eight bars and thought that'll do. It took out the victory. Fear's fear. But the fact that we had to stop it meant that the listeners were robbed of a throbber essentially, so there is an asterisk. Jase, to his credit, offered to have it not count at all. Okay, let's do that. But we decided and was happy with it being an asterisk.

28:59Keyzie:So what we need to decide down the line, fellas, is what does an asterisk represent in terms of penalties? Well, it certainly doesn't have full value. It's not full value, but is it total non-value? I think what it does is in the event of a draw, the person with the asterisks does not win. Yeah, for sure. So you've got two asterisks now, the first one for coercing a listener and the second one from last week for violating the broadcasting standards of New Zealand. Yes. Totally my bad.

29:28Jase:It feels like we need to have some kind of jeopardy around this, does it? Because we always say we'll do something every year, but we never do anything. Yeah, let's have some jeopardy now that you guys are both four songs, four wins clear of me. Oh, no, not necessarily something against the loser, but something for the winner. Well, it's a throbber special, so if you win it, the whole show, you'll get to play all your throbbers. Yeah, that's pretty cool, man. There. You don't like it? I'd rather have the cash.

29:55Keyzie:What cash? Yeah. I'd rather have the meat box. What meat box? Oh, is there a meat box?

30:00Jase:No, I don't know what he's talking about. I think he's talking about the, you know, when you go to a raffle. Like a raffle, yeah. Oh, a meat pack. Meat pack, yeah. That's what I mean. Yeah, so the winner gets a meat raffle. A meat pack. Oh, meat pack, right, okay. By the way, I'm coming last and I've got six wins. And two asterisks for bullying Mogi and for playing Freebird and then not really having a reason to, so yeah. Great segment, though. Oh, man, people love it. People love it. So good. Text us on 3483 if you love it. Here's Sheehan. The Hauraki Big Show with Jace, Mike and Kesey. Tune in weekdays at four on Radio Hauraki.

30:38Keyzie:Yes, indeed. The Clash here on the Radio Hauraki Big Show this Friday afternoon. The time is 5.32. Now, if you want to win the TAB$100 Big Bet, give us a call right now on 0800 Hauraki. That's right. $100 bonus cash. We've got two options. If one of them comes in, you get the cash, which is bloody exciting. It's a huge weekend of sport, fellas. Would you guys be keen to do a bit of sports chat?

31:01Jase:Bloody Oaks. Go,

31:08Jason. Oh, we could just play the sting. I can't find it.

31:11Keyzie:Oh. There's another one disappeared. Yeah, they just keep disappearing. They keep selling them off, man. It's weird, isn't it?

31:17Jase:Yeah, they sell them because they're trying to raise money.

31:19Keyzie:Well, it is a massive weekend of sport, as you say, fellas. And let's talk the All Blacks first. a big task to win two in a row against the world champion box. It's going to be another epic clash, me thinks.

31:31Jase:I think you're absolutely right. I can't wait. Similarly to last year, I guess, where the box took out a couple of tight ones and really the main difference would have been that home ground advantage. I'd say so. Jase, the only thing going against us is a course that's being played in Wellington, which is bad luck for all New Zealand teams, the Warriors, and now the All Blacks. I think Keezy had a stat there that we've won two out of the last seven down there. Seven, yeah, I think so. At the same time, anything's possible. You know what I mean?

31:55Keyzie:Yeah, totally, man. And I don't know. I just don't like the cake tin vibe. There's something about it that I don't like. It's not Eden Park, is it? But I think it's going to be epic. And I'm picking the All Blacks by a couple. Close match, you reckon? Yeah, really close. All right. Well, the TAB big bet for that game is Will Jordan to score two or more tries. It's paying$5.25. I feel like the box, you know, the defence is going to snuff out any tri-scoring opportunity, like real, you know, big scoring opportunities. But if anyone's going to do it, yes, it'll be him. He's on the wing. Yeah, true.

32:30He is on the wing. Also, we've got the Waz taking on the Panthers tomorrow night, 6.05. This is it. I mean, we've been on a bit of a downward slope in terms of our form towards the back end of the season. We're taking on the Panthers, who are scary because they've been to the finals so many times. They've won it so many times. However, they are not that same team from the last few years. They are not that team, all right? Yeah. And we can be that team. We can step up.

32:55Jase:Yeah.

32:55Keyzie:Well, you guys were talking about how important it was for experience, you know, in these playoffs. Finals experience, yes. And the reality is we've been massively hit by injury. So am I right in saying it's a pretty inexperienced side in that respect? Yes and no. I mean, we've got Kurt Capewell, James Fisher-Harris. Tamari Martin was there with the 2017 Cowboys. So we've got a sprinkling of very experienced players. It's a shame Mitch Barnett is out. But then we've also got the same amount of sprinkling of very inexperienced players who are barely 20 years old.

33:26Jase:Two of us are Sheik. Two of us are Sheik. Yeah, yeah. Yeah, yeah.

33:29Keyzie:Yeah, yeah. I just feel like, as you guys have been saying, and I've been watching a fair amount of the Warriors, that they've been on a downward slide. It's do or die. That's making me go, well, maybe. But my vibe is, no, it's not going to happen. My vibe is it is going to happen for some reason. But we're at home. We are in New Zealand. We're taking on the biggest bad boys in the NRL at the moment. and we've managed to play so well to get up to this point. We've won the right to have a home final, which is huge. I reckon the Wires will step up.

33:55Jase:I think it's great. Sadly, we don't have home advantage because when we play at home, we lose more than when we play away. So it's actually not an advantage to us. And, yeah, it's great that we got to six, but we've been playing badly for the last eight weeks. So if you look at form, it's not going to be going great. Having said that, anything is possible. It's finals footy, as you say. I'm obviously cheering for them, but I'm just so nervous, you know? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Well, I'd love to be surprised. I don't want to get my hopes up. That's the thing. You see what I'm saying, Kesey? If I get my hopes up and then we lose, you know, so it's better that my hopes are down and then I can be yippee-yay-ing.

34:27Jase:Yeah, right. In the lounge. All the way home.

34:29Keyzie:G'day, Nick, you mad bastard. How's life? Nick? That was good, fellas. Yeah, good on you, mate. Good on you, Nick. Which big bet would you like, mate, for the Horeki Big Show big bet? Would you like Will Jordan to score two or more tries for the All Blacks, paying 525, or Adam Pompey to score one try in the first half, paying$5.75 of the WARS.

34:50Jase:Adam, go to Warriors. Yeah, boy. Good on you, mate. All right, we'll chuck you down for Adam Pompey to score in the first half. And if that comes through, you'll win$475, which is huge. That's great. Go to Warriors. Yeah, good on you, mate.

35:05Keyzie:And he's gone over the line a number of 11 times, I believe, this season. Yeah. Our Pompey. I haven't counted them. I just remember the commentator saying that. Yeah. Don't forget R18, by the way, bet responsibly. Okay? Of course. The Hauraki Big Show. Weekdays from four on Radio Hauraki. Alison Chains there on the Radio Hauraki Big Show this Friday afternoon. Blastery outside it is. How's the weather where you are? 3, 4, 8, 3, let us know. 5, 6, 7, 8.

35:34Jase:Man, man, man, man, man, man, man, man, man, man, man, man, man, man, man, man, man, man, man, man, man, man. Man, man, man, man, man, man, man, man, man, man, man, man, man, man, man, man, man, man, man, man, man. One and a half Moogies. Just a standard thing that people do on the radio, eh? Yeah, if you don't know, this is when Moogie tells tales of his life with little Moogie. Little Moogie, Moogie Manogie. Moogie Manogie, his daughter. Yeah, yeah, yeah. He's called Moogie. Moogie. They had an art, the kids' art exhibition at school. My daughter's six. That's cute. But it went all the way up to 12 years old.

36:14Jase:And they're raising money there for, I think, a new playground. I think a new playground at the school. The school that my daughter's at is not part of the New Zealand teaching curriculum. Right. So they don't get any funding. Right. Which means the vast majority of the funding comes out of old Moogie's pocket. Okay. Yeah. So anyway, you go in there and you have to give a gold coin. or a note as a donation to go and see the art. Now, oftentimes when you go and see this art, are you really going to pay to see this art? I mean, it's children. But also you can go to the art gallery like in Auckland and it's free.

36:53Jase:And it's free and it's by people that... Like people that know art. Know how to do art.

36:56Keyzie:I mean, it is free, but I always put a donation in anyway because I support art in general. Empty chip pack. Yeah.

37:03Jase:But anyway, sorry, mate. Anyway, I sort of turned up there and there was a couple of... I didn't recognise most of the people. There was a couple of hundred people there. Wow. Adults and all sorts of things. I was expecting it to be a mix, mostly parents of things, and I know most of the parents there, but it wasn't them. They were mixed in as well, but there was hundreds of people, and they all sort of gathered around one particular area in the school hall there. And I went over and I sort of made my way. I sort of pushed my way through. I said, Mogi, you know, coming through, et cetera, et cetera.

37:36Jase:And I went and had a look, and it blew me down. the most beautiful painting that you've ever seen in your life. Life-sized. It was of a woman, and she was walking away off into the distance but looking back over her shoulder at you. And no matter where you moved, it felt like the eyes were on you. Now, in the foreground, it was raining, but you could see over in the distance that the clouds had parted. So you got the feeling that she was leaving some kind of a relationship or something there that had been bad and was sad, and she was sad about it too. You could see she was sad, but there was promise on the horizon.

38:15Jase:Do you know what I mean? Yes, wow, that's amazing. And it was just an absolutely stunning piece. And as I say, it was probably two metres high, just absolutely incredible, and people were just blown away. Anyway, I looked down the bottom right corner, and whose signature do I see there but my own daughter's, Mogi Minogi. Wow. Wow, so she painted that at school? Yeah. That's incredible. Apparently it's taken her 12 months. And anyway, while I was standing there, the little kid that was collecting all the gold coins just came over and just showered my daughter in the gold coins. All of that money that had been originally collected for the playground, that's ours now.

38:56Jase:Wow, that would have hurt. I've got that. That's all my money. It's all yours.

39:00Keyzie:It's funny, you know, because I had four girls. I can't ever recall there being like a specific art scenario. They did this thing where they did plants, like plant sort of set-ups and vegetable sort of set-ups, you know, like displays.

39:15Jase:Oh, sort of, you know.

39:18Keyzie:And my youngest actually did this extraordinary kind of display with like two potatoes and a cucumber. and it was one of those things that you were sort of looking at it and you're going, I recognise that. Yeah. Oh, was it arranged like a barbell, like a dumbbell? Yeah, yeah.

39:44Keyzie:Like it just gripped everyone because everyone was doing the same thing and just staring at it going, that reminds me of something. You know what I mean?

39:52Jase:Yeah. Is that sort of like that? Because there's a series of pieces. I remember seeing one that was a cucumber and a couple of mandarins. Is that in the same series?

40:01Keyzie:Very similar, yes. There's another one which I really like was a bit out there, a cucumber and two pears. I think I might have seen this. Yeah, yeah. Was there one that was like just a ham sandwich?

40:19Keyzie:And did you get marked well for that? Yeah, she did actually. She got, oh no, actually, she got a recommendation.

40:29Jase:So she didn't place for that one. So it's sort of down the other end of the spectrum.

40:33Keyzie:Well, it was funny because, oh no. Go on, Jase. You got this. I've already been over the edge this week. I'm not going over it again. The Hauraki Big Show with Jase, Mike and Kesey. Tune in weekdays at four on Radio Hauraki. Tom Petty and the Heartbreakers there on the Radio Hauraki Big Show this Friday afternoon. The time is 5.56. Fellas, we're heading to Mount Maunganui to celebrate. Tickets going on sale for the Hot Spring Spa's T20 Black Clash in association with Wolf Brook. I can't wait. It's going to be good, man. Yeah, Wednesday next week, man. That's next Wednesday. That's the one, the Wednesday coming.

41:13We're going to be broadcasting on the beach from a Hot Spring Spa outside the Mount Maunganui Surf Club. We'll have Black Clash tickets up for grabs. You just have to come down and play a game of six on the beach, which is where if you hit a six, you win the tickets. That'll be happening Wednesday coming. Joining us will be Neil Wagner and also Kieran Reid. Tauranga Mayor Mahi Drysdale is also going to pop down as well. Oh, yes. And that's all to celebrate the Black Clash Underlights Bay Oval Jan 17th. Tickets on sale, though, this coming Wednesday, blackclash.co.nz.

41:43Keyzie:Man, great stuff, Kesey. Now, listen, coming up after six, we've got some advice to give out on Meet Paddy Nip 69. Also, if you got involved with our Trade Tested competition, we're going to give away another$2 ,500 worth of stuff from Trade Tested after six. The Hauraki Big Show with Jase, Mike and Keezy. Tune in weekdays at four on Radio Hauraki. Welcome back, you massive backbones. Hope your Friday's going off. Wherever you are in this great country of ours. You say this gay country of ours? Well, it is. Everyone's happy, man. They're very happy. I hope so. But it is brought to you, this show.

42:24Keyzie:You've ruined my flow now. I think you did it, man. Reburger? By Reburger. Yeah, nice. Crape-worthy street food, freshly made. What a debacle. With Reburger. Yum.

42:35Jase:Play another one? Yum. Not that one. Yum, yum, yum, yum, yum, yum, yum, yum. How good's that one? That's like the first one, but there's heaps more of them.

42:46Keyzie:I tell you what, old pug son's outdone himself. What the hell's happening to me? Nothing, he's outdone himself. With those stings, they're magnificent.

42:57Jase:They're really great. I mean, they make you loss for words, Jost, don't they? Well, that's right.

43:01Keyzie:That's exactly what's happened. You're tongue-twisted, man. Yeah, I am at the moment. I'm just not concentrating, obviously. Oh, that's good. I hope that doesn't happen to me tomorrow at Mount Smart. Oh, yeah. What exactly is the guts, Keezy? What's the guts?

43:14Jase:What's the guts, man? Well, we'll get into it next, but basically I've been asked through the pants man actually. He used to work here. Yeah. He now works at Triple M. The Merchant of Filth. The Merchant of Filth. He now works over at Triple M in Australia. It's a radio network. Radio network over there, Jase. Yeah, man, I know it. And we were at the pub one night, and then I was talking a big game about how they need a sideline commentator here, and I was like, I'll do it, man. Get all Keezy down there. Yeah. And now they're actually testing me out for tomorrow's home final, so I'll be sidelined, which is pretty exciting.

43:46Yeah, very exciting, man. Great opportunity. I'm nervous though, man.

43:48Jase:Well, we could give you a little bit of advice. Really? Yeah, yeah, yeah. How to not be nervous, how to deliver on what they need.

43:56Keyzie:Right, okay.

43:57Jase:So yeah, we'll get into that.

43:58Keyzie:You're getting money for that? Yes. Because I should get a cut of it as your agent. But you had nothing to do with it. That doesn't matter. Is that how agencies work? Yeah, if you get anything broadcast, mate, old hoity Jay gets a piece of it. What percentage? In that case, because it was through you, 25%. Oh, yeah. That seems fair. The Hauraki Big Show. Weekdays from four on Radio Hauraki. Rage Against the Machine there on the Radio Hauraki. Big show this Friday evening and a big opportunity for old Keezy tomorrow night. The league match. He's going to be the sideline voice for Triple J, is it?

44:35Hoity J.

44:37Keyzie:Hoity J. Triple M. Triple M. Triple M. Triple J is another station as well. Yeah, it is. But Triple M, I think, over in Aussie. And the good thing about it is it came from a night responsibly getting steamed with the pants man.

44:48Jase:There's so many opportunities that come. It's a real bastard. It is. That's how I ended up with the ACC was getting absolutely hammered. Yeah, exactly. And making a fool of myself. So there you go. So that's what, yeah. And so I'm sort of trying to do that now as well. It's a bit of a new mindset I'm in. But basically Joel was like, koozie, koozie. The pants man, I should say. It was like, Koozie, Koozie, tell them about how you had a rugby league show and now it's Sean Johnson's show. Yeah. So I told that story and I thought it was really funny. And what about the one, how you had the other one?

45:16Jase:And then Adam Blair took it. Yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah. You've had two shockers. Well, I haven't had two shockers. That's pretty amazing. That's a good record. That's great. Those are both good stories for your autobiography, Keezy. Totally.

45:26Keyzie:Cost me a fortune. Jase, you weren't even my agent back then. But, yeah, and then so now they've gotten in touch and gone, do you actually want to have a crack at being the sideline commentator? Yeah. So the main commentary team is going to be Dan Gidane, who does all the Fox games. He's good, man.

45:40Jase:Yeah, he's good. He's bloody good. He is very, very good. He's one of the best that there is, and they're saying he's the next Rabs Warren. He's out the gate. I don't know if you're Bings. Now, if – Oh, Hundies I am. Now, that just tells me that, yeah. Phew, that's a lot of pressure. Well, hang on. You're just making me feel way more awkward about it. I just thought he's just – No, he's a good commentator. He's not the next Rabs. Oh, well. Like, I don't have to feel intimidated by him.

46:05Keyzie:Agree to disagree. And the Aussies are rabid about their league too. Same, but so am I though, Jase, man. Well, you are. Well, yeah, I mean.

46:14Jase:Who else is on the team? Josh Reynolds. Yeah. Tigers legend. Yeah, he's amazing. And also Wade McKenna. Well, not Wade McKenna, Wade Graham. Oh, yes. From the Sharkies. Yeah, right. So these big names. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And they're going to be like, oh, now down to you on the sideline. Do you mean the former captain of? Wade Graham. Wade Graham. I'm thinking of someone else. But yes, you're all good. I've got him in my head now. Yeah, very talented back rub, pretty silky smooth.

46:41Keyzie:Listen, I get that you're feeling a bit nervous about it. Well, I wasn't until Mogey said all that stuff about rabs. But it's an opportunity. Yeah, it's a huge opportunity. I mean, you don't want to blow it.

46:51Jase:Just don't let it slip through your fingers. Yeah, don't stuff it up.

46:54Keyzie:Now, what I think you should do before you even start off, four or five stiffness. Viagras. No, I mean like shots. Oh, this is a terrible idea.

47:06Jase:Responsibly just to calm the nerves. But I didn't have any nerves until now. This is my concern with that, Jase. I think you're right, you're on the right track. I wonder about five, though. Yeah, that's too many. Because the show this last couple of weeks has been a lot of stumbling over words, a lot of bumbling, and my concern is that that is only going to get worse under the intense pressure. Because the thing about Liz, we do so many voice breaks here. Yes. It sort of all, you know, it sort of takes the stress off. You've got another one you can make amends immediately. But with the sideline commentary, there's very few times that you get thrown to, so you've got to make sure that you're not ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba, you know?

47:44Jase:Yeah, yeah. That you stuff it up. That's all for it.

47:45Keyzie:Well, now you're going to be thinking about it too much, and it's probably going to happen. So you probably get four or five shots at it, really, don't you, Moggy? Well, you do. And if you stuff one of them up, you know, that cascades onto the next one. Well, not normally. and it just sort of exponentially increases the pressure for the next one. You get more tense stuff. Your buttocks clench. Your testicles go up into your stomach. Sorry, Jase. Well, this isn't even what I was nervous about. The thing I was nervous about is how do I get the info about what's going on? Because I'm going to go, oh, Chris is sidelined.

48:16Chris, what have you got for us on Nathan Cleary's injury, man? What have you found out? Oh, yeah. And I'm going to have to be like, oh, I'll just have a word to the physio. You know, what do I do?

48:25Jase:Yeah, yeah, yeah. I can see that. Well, I think what you've got to do is, Keezy, you've got to put yourself in the brains of the viewer. In the brains. You've got to think to yourself, now what is the person sitting at home on the couch going to want to know? Right. So if Cleary comes off, what are you thinking to yourself? Oh, I'll go find out what happened. Yeah, it's really good. And then you can just Google it. Right, Google it. What happened to Cleary, et cetera, et cetera. But he's just come off. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I know.

48:51Keyzie:Because the problem you're going to run into, obviously, is you won't be able to find out because you'll go out to find out and they'll go, who the hell are you? Yes. You know what I mean? You can go, well, I did those two league shows. And they'll be like, no, Adam Blair and Sean Johnson did those. Yeah, they took them over. Yeah, right. Okay, cool. Wear a backbone shirt. That'll help. Totally, man. The Hauraki Big Show with Jace, Mike and Kesey. Tune in weekdays at four on Radio Hauraki. News there on the Radio Hauraki Big Show this Friday evening. Now, we've been working alongside the good bastards at Trade Tested, Trying to give you Kiwis out there and listeners to the show the opportunity of spending$2 ,500 on stuff for your outdoor decking.

49:33Keyzie:Or it could be indoor. Could be indoor, couldn't it, fellas? It could be. I mean, it depends where your deck is. Is your deck inside? Well, I think they also have stuff for inside. You know what I mean?

49:45Jase:Well, that's sort of moving the goalpost because we've been telling everybody that it's for outside. What's the call again? Big deck energy.

49:51Keyzie:But I mean, you could put some of that stuff inside, I'm sure.

49:54Jase:It feels to me it's against the spirit of the game.

49:56Keyzie:Like I've got a fire pit in my house. Inside. Inside, do you know what I mean? It's fantastic. But I just feel like you're really muddying the waters on this comp. Yeah. Because it's about the deck.

50:06Jase:Can I also use that money to do up my car? Or is that something else? I might use it to go on holiday.

50:15Keyzie:Fellas, let's not be stupid about this, please. The good news is it is time to give away. It's the second Friday of the month. We're giving away$2 ,500 worth of trade-tested products to people that went to hoducky.co.nz and told us what they would buy. We've actually got the winner on the line now, Jay. Should we go to them? Yeah, I think so. Is this Lockheel? Do you want me to – I'll just pick up the phone first. Hang on. Is this Lockheel? Yeah. G'day. Am I saying your name right for a start, Lockheel? Yeah, Lockheel's fine. Oh, Lockheel. How are you going, you mad bastard? Oh, bloody marvellous hearing your voice, Jess.

50:51Keyzie:Oh, hey, man. He's hitting on you, Josie. You hearing that, man? Look, I'm used to it, fellas. Tell me, Lockie, what do you do for a crust there, mate? I'm a kayak manufacturer. Oh, backbone.

51:04Jase:It's kayak manufacturers are the backbone of this country, Lockie. Cheers, Mike. Good on you, brother.

51:10Keyzie:And whereabouts are your base doing that, mate? Down in Christchurch. Oh, yeah. Good on you, mate. Yeah, good on you, mate. What a goddamn backbone. Now, listen, tell us, Lockie, what did you put on your little shopping list there? Because I'm intrigued to know. Quite a few tools. Oh, okay. So I've actually got the list here.

51:27Jase:Oh, you sneaky bugger. A circular saw, a drill driver, a drive socket set, an orbital sander. How good. A longhorn pizza oven, gas fired as well, and a few other bits and pieces. A bean bag. Did you get a bean bag? Oh, no, you got just drills to burn, man. I'm loving it. So you're going to do it all yourself. Yeah, hopefully. Yeah, nice, man. And what did it all add up to in the end? Like 2 ,400 and something, I think. See, that's clever, man. Yeah, that's good.

51:57Keyzie:You see what Lockie's done there, which is really clever. If he doesn't have a deck, he could build one now because he's got all the tools for it, you know what I'm saying? The good news for you, Lockie, mate, is you have officially won all of that stuff from Trade Tested. No way. Yeah, man. Cheers, boys. Oh, God, that'll make you Friday afternoon there, Lockie. Hey, will you enjoy that, you mad bastard? And we'll pass you back to Pugs to sort out all the details. Cheers. Thank you very much. Love you, man. Love you, Lockie. Love you, Lockie. You're the boy. Yeah, man. Love you. You're champion.

52:29Bye. Thanks, mate.

52:31Jase:How good. Tools, you see. They got it all on there, eh? TradeTested.co.nz. Next week, Friday, we'll be calling another winner. Head to hodaki.co.nz Get yourself in the draw for Big Deck Energy thanks to tradetester.co.nz The Hodaki Big Show with Jace, Mike and Kesey Tune in weekdays at 4 on Radio Hodaki

52:53Keyzie:Linkin Park there on the Radio Hodaki Big Show this Friday evening Let's give out some advice to those who need it Hey fellas Be pretty near 69 At gmail.com Get in touch with the feelings Fellas, it's a real email address. Meetpattynips69 at gmail.com. Get in touch. It's 100 % anonymous and you can win a$50 re-burger voucher. This one comes from anonymous, fellas.

53:20Jase:Anonymous. Anonymous. Yeah. That's funny. G'day, fellas. Anonymous here. I have a friend that is in desperate need of some advice. I was wondering if you could give me some advice on how to give him advice as he is in desperate need of advice. Yeah. Love the show, fellas. Kia kaha, thanks. It's a good start. So how to give advice. Is that the question? That's the question. Someone needs advice on how to give advice.

53:53Keyzie:I think in a situation like that, the best advice you could give is give advice when it's not called for. Wait, wait, wait. The best advice you could give is give advice when it's not called for. Yeah, well, look, rather than worry about it, I just give out advice willy-nilly whether people want it or not. Unprompted. Unprompted, yes. Right. Uninitiated. Yeah, right. And that's often the best advice. See, my advice would be to start by saying, hey, man, do you want my advice? Mm. You know? Yes.

54:24Jase:My advice to this guy is he should keep his mouth shut just based on the email there and the way he's worded it. Right. It sounds like he's going to bugger it up. Like the advice isn't going to be succinct. It's going to bang on. who's going to repeat points over and over again as he has done in that letter. He's not the person to be giving advice, I don't think. And nor am I to be giving him advice on how to give advice. Who do I think I am? He hasn't asked me personally whether I should be giving him advice except for this letter. Exactly. And anonymously, I'm going to say, I don't think I'm up for it.

54:55Keyzie:I give terrible advice. You see, I'm the opposite. I give very good advice. And often it's advice it hasn't been asked for. In fact, the best advice I give is when people don't ask me for my advice. How do you know it's good advice? Just by their reaction. Like when I say, like you said, Keezy, when you said, do you want some advice? And their silence, I just get into it, whether they want it or not. No, but then how do you gauge whether the advice is good? Because their reaction quite often will be like, hey, I didn't ask you for advice.

55:23Jase:Yes, but it's not so much about whether they take the advice. It's more the fact that you've had an opportunity to give them advice. To give it, whether they want it or not. And not even an opportunity, really, because that would suggest that they have to leave a gap for you to give the opportunity. Really, you're giving it regardless. It's an opportunity to talk about how awesome you are. Yes. Now, it might not be based on any kind of fact or experience or knowledge. Right. But nevertheless, you've had a chance to run your yap. Right, so the point of the advice is that not to help them, but it's to show off how cool you are.

55:54Jase:Yeah, to show your own wisdom. Right, because I thought advice was to... Whether they want that wisdom or not. I thought advice... And whether it's any use or not. No, right. like, wow, I've been giving advice wrong all these years. I thought it was like to try and help them. I mean, that's sort of second or third down the list. If it does end up helping them, then bonus. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

56:12Keyzie:But that's not the intention from the start. It's to make yourself look good and to share the knowledge you have. Yes, whether they want it or not.

56:20Jase:Yes. To force your knowledge onto others. Absolutely. Advice is the act of forcing knowledge. The Hauraki Big Show. Weekdays from 4 on Radio Hauraki

56:41Keyzie:There you go, fellas Another show done and done Indeed, the week Wow Massively looking forward to the weekend Heaps of sporting action on It's pretty exciting stuff, man

56:50Jase:It is good stuff Tonight, of course, you've got the storm up against the Doggies Kick off at 10 to 10 Probably blow out to 10 It's just a little bit It is a little bit late but I am pretty keen to watch it, even if it buggers up my weekend. Do you know what I mean? It's the finals, man. You've got to watch the finals. All the NRL match-ups this weekend are great match-ups too. Every single one of them is good eating. I think the weekend finishes off with the Raiders. Taking on the Broncos. The Broncos. I mean, that is just. That's huge. That's a huge game there, Jase. You excited about that one?

57:26Jase:Oh, sorry.

57:27Keyzie:Yeah, sounds really good, fellas. Also, big shout out to the Bay of Plenty steamers who are taking on the Hawks Bay Magpies. Battle of the Bays. Near tonight? Up the steamers. No, tomorrow. Okay. In the beautiful Domain in Tauranga there. Well, I'm going to go home and watch some NPC feels. I'm sure there's going to be some match on. I don't know which one, but there'll be something. Sure. Hey, in the podcast outro clip today, I've got no idea what it is. Do you want me to tell you what it's about? Sure. It's about how tense things were when Mogi walked in today. Because someone was in a whore of a movie.

57:57Get him, get him, get him.

57:58Jase:Is anybody here in a whore of a mood?

58:01Keyzie:No. Are you in a whore of a mood, Keezy? Yeah, yeah, I'm in a whore of a mood, man.

58:08Jase:I'm not in a whore of a mood. Are you sure?

58:11Keyzie:I'm good.

58:12Jase:It was amazing. I walked in and I could just sense that there was something going on. And sure enough, the whore of an argument between Keezy and Hoity Jane, you'll have to listen to the podcast to find out what happened. But that is straight up. Yeah. Straight up. I don't know if there's any coming back from this one. Yeah, I know. Well, what I'm grateful for is it's landed on a Friday. Yeah, that's right. So I've got a couple of days to reset, recuperate. Yeah, calm down. Calm down, exactly right. And just, you know, water off a duck's back, water off under the bridge. Yes. Everything's up in the air next year, et cetera, et cetera.

58:42Keyzie:Monday, come back. Clean slate. Pretend like it never happened. Forget what was said. Yes. I'll never forget what you said. I mean, push it down. Yeah. Bury it. Suppress it. Bury it.

58:52Jase:Ulcer in the may be, et cetera, et cetera.

58:55Keyzie:Yeah, but it certainly is looking dicey next year, isn't it? Now listen, make sure you check out the podcasts. Make sure you check out the Instagram. There's heaps going on there. Pugs has been working his ass off, fellas. Has he? Has he? I haven't noticed it. And until Monday, see you later! Bye. Bye then.