FULL SHOW: Pashing In Public

10:33Jase:Yeah, nice. Sure. Was that actually a party, mate, or was it just you and your missus and your neighbour and his or her missus? So it was a new girlfriend that wanted to experiment, and it was just a Wednesday night. Right. There was no reason for it. So what, did you have to... Well, it's in Australia, so... Right. Now, can you tell... Go and have a few drinks. So you've been invited by the neighbours or you jumped the fence? No, we'd knocked on the door and welcomed ourselves in. Right, okay. Well, that's a hell of a story, Dylan. Thanks for sharing, mate. You got yourself a$50 rebug. I've still got more questions, to be honest with you.

11:10Jase:Oh, nice. Am I allowed? I think I can ask those questions. And that was, so you're in the paddling pool. Where are the neighbours at this point? So they were there. My girlfriend brought her friend along as well. Oh, my God. In the strip poker. So she then ended up finding the neighbour. Right, yeah, yeah, yeah. Right, okay, so it was like shag fest. So it was meant, well, basically.

11:37Keyzie:Yeah, an orgy in the paddling pool. Good stuff, Dilly, you sicko. Well, we moved on. They had a nice room, colourful lights and smoke machines and incense. It was great. Nice, mate, sounds good. You got yourself a voucher. Thanks for getting in touch on 0800 Hauraki.

11:51Jase:Just like on that day, old Dilly was getting a bit carried away there,

11:53Keyzie:but I was intrigued by his comment there was no reason for it. Oh, yes. But anyway, we've got some texts on 3483. A lot of people have texted through the weirdest place that they have made love. This one here, for example, I only make love in my bed in complete darkness and silence with my socks on every third Wednesday. Yeah, that sounds about right. That's from Jase's wife. Another one here. Hey, fellas, I had a go in a restaurant in Japan. A separate cubicles was awesome. Wow. Because there's like little cubicles where you eat because quite often you eat on your own.

12:26Jase:Like in a burger joint or something like that. Yeah, probably. Yeah, yeah, good. Exactly like that. Or spicy dumplings. What about this one? Weirdest place I've made love. Arrowtown Cemetery in a hired Toyota Aqua. Wow. Romantic. That's hot. That's hot. James texts through, I had a pretty serious fondle session at Motat once. That's the Museum of Transport and Technology. That's right. Well, they've got that tram outside, so I can understand that. Maybe it was in the tram. Yeah. Or on a steam engine. On the bonnet of a Holden Tirana after the car had won its race. Oh my god That is a boger dream man That is absolutely disgraceful I made love A woman began roughing up my suspect in the crowd at a Eurythmics concert at Athletic Park When did they come here?

13:16Jase:I think it was 86, 87 He's never forgotten What about this one? The strangest place I have made love is in Te Ano at the Glowworm Caves

13:26Keyzie:That'd be quite romantic I think You know what I mean? No The Hauraki Big Show with Jase, Mike and Kesey. Tune in weekdays at four on Radio Hauraki. Smashing pumpkins here on the Radio Hauraki Big Show this Wednesday afternoon. The time is 4.50 and we've got a special edition of What's on the TV. What's on the telly with Mike Minogue.

13:55Yippee! Yes. Yeah.

14:01Keyzie:Why is it a special edition, Jase? Well, you and Pugsarn and a few other fellows went on a date night last night to watch a movie together. Everybody from Haoriki went except for all of us. Hoity J and Mogey. Yeah, it was great, actually. We had a great time. Yeah, it was awesome. I went to One Battle After Another, which is directed by... Paul Thomas Anderson. And stars... Leonardo DiCaprio, Sean Penn, Tiana Taylor, Benicio Del Toro. This is why we bring Pugsarn in, because he's a real fan of all the details. Yeah, well, he is. The interesting thing about this film, sorry, Jase, is that I mentioned on the show yesterday, I went along having not watched a single trailer.

14:36I didn't know what the genre was. I had no idea of the running time until Mogey told me it was two and a half hours. 2.42. Yeah. So my experience was, it was really interesting going into it. I really liked the, this is the first time I've watched a movie and gone, wow, the cinematography in this is actually great. And I'm not someone who notices that kind of thing or cares about it. But a few of the shots and things, I was like, that's actually really clever. And it took me half an hour to decide that it wasn't a pretentious piece of filmmaking that everyone said was good because all the critics were saying it was amazing.

15:07Yeah, yeah, yeah. After that initial half now, which in my opinion was the worst part of the movie, still very good, the following two hours for me were excellent. Really, really, really enjoyable. And when the movie finished, I was like, that was great. Great. Yeah, so I give it four and a half buzzies out of five. Wow. That's big. Wow.

15:26Jase:That's big from you, Kesey. That's the most amount of buzzies I've ever given. I think it is. Yeah. Oh, hang on. No, Grand Design's got 4.6. Oh, yes.

15:33Keyzie:Because you were talking yesterday, Mogi, about the fact that the critics were very high in their praise too. Best movie of the year, best movie of the last 10 years, et cetera, et cetera. Now, Pugsun, you, of course, went along to it too. Your thoughts, please. I absolutely loved it as well, Jase. I genuinely enjoyed every single part of it. The only bit that it lost a couple of points on for me was the length of the run time. Yeah. I thought there could have been moments that could have been shorter in there. But the performances were immaculate. You guys are going to love Sean Penn just being an absolute piece of S.

16:07Oh, my God, he reminds me of Jase so much, like in his actions and character motivations and everything. 100%. Leonardo DiCaprio, really good not being or trying to be a standout, and I don't think he was a better performer or didn't shine any more than his co-stars. I thought Benicio Del Toro was hilarious. He was awesome. He's the man. He is the man. He's all right.

16:28Jase:He's the man. And I love the first half an hour, and I think you guys will probably agree with me. Like, it's very fast-paced without getting into what it is, but it is still immaculately done. And also, with the cinematography for me, I thought it was so good, but I thought the rest of the movie was so good, I didn't really notice the cinematography until it was quiet. For me. Which I think is a good thing. You know what I mean? The main part of the cinematography that grabbed me was at the end. Yeah. The end when there's a lot of stuff happening. It reminded me of a very classic action movie that had similar cinematography from like 40 or 50 years ago.

17:00Yeah. Reminded me of that, which a movie that I love. Yeah. That's why I loved it. But I think it's good that I didn't get, like I was so sucked into it that I didn't notice how good it looked until it was just quiet for a moment. Yeah, right. I would give it 4.8 buzies. Wow. You gave it last night in the theatre. You looked over at me and you said five super buzies. I did say five super buzies, but I've thought more on it. You know, I was hot off the back of it. I just thought it was so bloody good. Yeah, looking forward to that. Yes.

17:26Keyzie:Leonardo loves his big epics, doesn't he? He does, but he wasn't big or epic in this.

17:30Jase:No, he was great. He was fantastic. Well, he loves working with great directors. He does. And Paul Thomas Anderson, of course, is a great director. Made his breakout in, where am I blanking on, the porn? Boogie Nights. Yes. So Boogie Nights, Paul Thomas Anderson, that was him that directed that. Leonardo DiCaprio was originally attached to be in Boogie Nights, but he had to choose between that and Titanic. Oh, yeah. He chose Titanic. And then he recommended Mark Wahlberg to Paul Thomas Anderson for the role of Dirk Diggler in Boogie Nights. There you go. Even though Mark Wahlberg was completely unknown, Basketball Diaries and Fear, the only two movies he'd been in, had not yet been released.

18:09Jase:And so DiCaprio just said he's out the gate, you should get him. That's great trivia. There you go. Well, there you go.

18:14Keyzie:Great stuff, fellas. Looking forward to watching that maybe this weekend. Yeah, be keen to have a big discussion on it next week, fellas. In the meantime, here's Billy Idol. The Hauraki Big Show. weekdays from four on Radio Hauraki. Billy Idol there on the Radio Hauraki Big Show this Wednesday afternoon. Heaps coming up after five o 'clock. We talk to G-Lane about the cricket tonight. Keezy's Euro Night and we announce a very exciting new competition. The Hauraki Big Show with Jace, Mike and Keezy. Tune in weekdays at four on Radio Hauraki. Welcome back, you massive backbones. Hope you're surviving your Tuesday afternoon.

18:52Keyzie:You're listening to The Big Show brought to you by Reburger. Serving good times and good food. Dine-in or takeaway at Reburger today. That's just the best Reburger I've ever had. Come and try this. Come and try this. Have you heard this before? Oh, my God. It's Reburger. This is... What was it called? Oh, God. It's Reburger. Oh, my God. Reburger. Reburger. Yeah. Oh, yeah.

19:27Jase:We got a bit of the old reboot. Do you think Pugs was bored? Nah, yesterday Keezy asked him to do it. Oh, did he? Yeah. I think you'll find that was Keezy and Pugs. I think you'll find it was actually Pugs and Big Dilly. Oh, yeah. It felt like it was a two-hander.

19:41Keyzie:Yeah, definitely a two-hander. But an absolutely magnificent piece of work. Well done, Pugs. Well done, man. Can you snip that off and send it to the Radio Awards? Yeah, good stuff. Hey, if you're at a loss tonight, you know, maybe your partner's going out or whatever and you don't know what to eat, just fill your boots with some Reburger. Yeah, man. Tip it into your shoes. Come on, Jase, that's ridiculous. Speaking of ridiculous, coming up, Keezy's got a Euro night. It is a tune, though, fella. It is a tune. The Hauraki Big Show. Weekdays from 4 on Radio Hauraki Yes indeed, you too there on the Radio Hauraki Big show this Wednesday afternoon The time, 5.15 Fellas, this Saturday, quite exciting actually My wife and I, just at our place We're having a Euro night Oh hot What do you mean by that?

20:39A Euro night? We're just, we're going to be having like a dinner and stuff And it's going to be European based To reflect on our holiday

20:47Jase:Sort of have memories in that Yeah, memories Yeah.

20:51Keyzie:For some reason, it just conjured up images of bondage and stuff. I don't know why. You clearly have never been to Europe, Jase. Yeah. Why would Euro Night remind you of bondage and stuff?

21:01Jase:That's one of the stereotypes. God, it annoys me. It annoys me too. Sorry, Fielder. So what we did is while we were over in Italy, I was in Tuscany, and I bought some dried pasta, peachy pasta. Oh, you simply must. Sorry, do you know what peachy pasta is? Yeah, yeah. What is it?

21:21Keyzie:So good. Anyway, Moggy, we bought some dried pasta. We also bought a bottle of wine. Oh. Chianti. Oh, yeah, the old Chianti.

21:31Jase:A little bit of Chianti there. Yeah, exactly.

21:34Keyzie:Because you've got to sort of go red for when you're doing the old pasta, don't you, Amit? Well, it depends on the type of pasta, Jase. Oh.

21:44So we've got this Italian wine. We've got this Italian pasta. We're going to cook it up, have a Euro night, Moggy. I was just wondering, because you've been to Europe, and so have I. Some other suggestions just to sort of increase the immersion like we're there. Sure. You know what I mean?

21:56Jase:Sure, sure, sure, sure, sure. Well, you're going to have to have music. Yes. Now, I remember when you were over there and you stayed at a beautiful accommodation, Kiesa, and you looked outside your window, and what was there? A 48-piece orchestra. That's right. Symphony orchestra. Symphony orchestra. So I'd make sure if you can find that original music. I believe they were playing Bolero. That sounds right. Oh, yeah, Bolero. Oh, yeah, who's that?

22:19Keyzie:Jase? He's a composer. She. Oh, she, is it? Sexist. But yeah, Bolero, that's a good choice. Orchestra. Can I make a suggestion, Casey? Sure, man. I wish you would have. Parmesan Giano. Sorry? Parmesan Giano. Si, si. What the hell is Parmesan Giano? Yeah, the old Parmesan cheese for your pasta there. Parmesan.

22:43Jase:Parmesan. Nobody eats that, man. No one eats Parmesan in Europe. Oh. Oh, Parmesan. CC. Sorry about that, man. That's all good. I was actually thinking, what do you think of this idea? I might turn the heat up. Turn the heat? Yes. Turn the heat pump on. That's a great idea, yeah. Yeah, it was hot over there. It was 30 degrees. Get in your swimsuits.

23:05Keyzie:Oh, my Speedos? Yes. I'll tell you what you could wear. What? Your floaters with the socks up to your calves. You mean my shoes? Yeah, your shoes, yeah. But I'm inside at my house, Jase.

23:17Jase:You've got to take your shoes off when you're inside, especially in Europe. In Europe, yeah. They hate it when you wear shoes inside. That's a really silly suggestion. I was thinking like a cheese board or something to start as well.

23:29Keyzie:Oh, yeah, a bit of prosciutto. Pursuutto. It's a bit of prosciutto. Oh, prosciutto, but a semi-dried tomato action. A bit of pesto.

23:39Jase:Pesto?

23:39Keyzie:Oui, oui. No one eats pesto in Europe, Jase.

23:43Jase:That's like The Like Nutella Yeah It's like saying Nutella's European Is that what you're saying Jase? You're saying Nutella's European? And we

23:59Yeah so a cheese board Sinking prosciutto Yes Oh yeah

24:05Jase:Can I recommend some olives? Olives Of course Jase do you mind me? Preferably some stuffed stuffed olives. Stuffed is good, but also with the stones still in them because they keep that taste, don't they? Of the stone.

24:19Keyzie:Can I recommend something here, Fialis? How about the old stuffed little red peppers with a bit of feta shoved in there?

24:25Jase:Oh my god, that is such a That is like That is such a colonial view of what gets eaten in Europe. Yeah. Yeah. Come on, man. Peppers. What? How does the cheese get inside a pepper?

24:42Keyzie:Well, you're just mad. You just stuff it in there. Maybe where you come from, bro.

24:49Jase:Maybe in Rotorua. And then I was thinking to finish it off, we might have a tiramisu or maybe a creme brulee. Oh, yeah.

24:59Keyzie:Crack that bastard. Crack what bastard? You know, the old creme brulee. Doesn't it have a hard casing on the top there? No, it doesn't. You're thinking of a tiramisu. Yeah.

25:13Jase:God, man, you have to go to Europe. You're thinking of a squiggle top biscuit. Yeah, probably. Go to Europe, Jase. You simply must. Is this the white stripe? Yeah. The Hauraki Big Show. Weekdays from four on Radio Hauraki.

25:30Keyzie:She had there on the Radio Hauraki Big Show this Wednesday afternoon. The time, 5.27. Fellas, Diamond or Richmond know that sometimes Kiwis need a little encouragement to drop a knee and propose. How do they know that? They know, man. They're in the business. They're in the biz.

25:44Jase:Yeah, right. So to celebrate this, they've given us an eight grand Diamond engagement ring to give away to a lucky person in waiting. We've also gone one step further and added some knee pad, Hodaki-branded knee pads, and you could potentially win both of these things. Right. We've got a whole lot of the knee pads to give away. So if you head to hodaki.co.nz, register yourself for one of those knee pads. You'll also go on the draw to win yourself that$8 ,000 diamond engagement ring. Right. If anyone needs a nudge in the right direction in terms of dropping a knee. Yeah, totally. That's where diamonds on Richmond come in.

26:17Jase:Bloody good. Well, we've done a partnership with these mad dogs before, haven't we? We have, yes. And it absolutely went off. That was an engagement ring as well. Yes. So if you're out there and you're thinking to yourself, geez, man, wouldn't mind not paying for an engagement ring. Or if you're out there and you're thinking, God, these two should, you know, for example, Pugs and his partner, when are they going to get engaged sort of thing?

26:37Keyzie:It's taking forever, isn't it?

26:38Jase:That's quite good, Keiser, yeah. And so if you're a parent and you're thinking, geez, old mate here has been messing around for ages, not proposing to my daughter or son, et cetera, et cetera, give them a little shove along there, hoity J. Yeah. That's right. Head to hodaki.co.nz. Register yourself or someone you know for a Hodaki Nudge Pad Plus. Go on the draw to win that$8 ,000 diamond ring. It's all thanks to Diamonds on Richmond, who are the experts when it comes to engagement rings. That's good stuff. Hey, fellas, I just want to raise something with you, and it's about a member of the team.

27:10Oh, is this a show meeting?

27:12Jase:No. Okay. It's just because the thing about Liz, if it was a show meeting, I'd include Pugs, but I need to exclude him from this. Oh, really? Okay. So it's just between us, all right? Right. Oh, yeah, yeah. I mean, he's listening, but yeah. So, fellas, I invited today, I invited very kindly Pugsan, you know. Yeah. to a movie called Smashing Machine. Ah. Now it stars Dwayne The Rock Johnson and Emily Blunt. You heard about her? Oh, yeah.

27:40Keyzie:She's a very, very good actor. She is just fine talent.

27:47Jase:Excellent. And it's directed by one of his favourite directors. Oh, really? Yeah, the Safdie brothers. It might just be one of the brothers that's directing it, but one of his favourites, absolute favourites. That's really thoughtful. It's a serious film and it's a big premiere. He loves hobnobbing. I don't know if you've ever been along to any of these premier sort of events that we get to go to with radio. Pugsun loves a hobnob. Hobnobbing. Is that sort of brown nosing? Yeah, sort of brown nosing. Sort of hanging off the back of sort of A, B and C list celebrities, mostly D. Shuffling into groups and stuff like that.

28:20Jase:Hobnobbing. Yeah, hobnobbing. That's right. He sort of sees something and says, ooh, ooh, ooh, look, look. You know, that sort of stuff. He's kind of embarrassing, but it's cute at the same time. Yeah. Anyway, he's turned me down. Wow. He's turned me down and he said, look, and this is the thing. Now, I put it into the chat and I thought he would immediately jump on it and be keen, but I could tell by the amount of time it was taking that he was checking in with his missus to see if it was okay because he went out with you last night, Keezy. That's right. And the question, I was like, oh, God, he's not going to be allowed to go out two nights in a row.

28:49Jase:Well, so it proved. He messaged me back and said, look, I would absolutely love to go. Unfortunately, this time I can't. Please, please tell me how it goes. Love to be there for the next one. Yeah, right, okay. Did he say why? Well, it was sort of implied. Implied, yeah. That his partner, who seems lovely, has got him on a tight leash. Yeah. If I could put it that way.

29:20Keyzie:Yeah.

29:21Jase:Now, what do you do? Because now, Pugson has only just recently moved in with her, and I've got grave concerns. Grave concerns. That he's positioned himself firmly and squarely underneath the thumb. Yeah, right. And now, is there anything that we can do? Or, conversely, now I don't want you talking to him about this, do we just keep our massive honkers out of it? I mean, it would be pretty hard for Jase to keep his out of it. He'd have to be standing pretty far away, you know what I mean?

29:48Keyzie:Well, I'm kind of on slightly tenuous ground anyway there, Moggy, because I made the observation that his partner's a very attractive woman and he got all up in arms about that. Yes. So you know what I mean? So I'm just kind of staring away from – and I don't know if you guys have noticed this, but you bring her up and he's like – Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. So it's like, okay, just tread carefully here. Yeah, right. Yeah, we're still very early doors. Yeah, well, that's – And you call it a honeymoon period.

30:24Jase:Yes. Now that's going to wear off any day. Yeah. And he's going to wake up in a world of pain and say to himself, what have I done? Yeah. Yeah. The Hauraki Big Show, weekdays from four on Radio Hauraki.

30:37Keyzie:He's indeed live there on the Radio Hauraki Big Show this Wednesday afternoon. And cricket season, fellas, is upon us. Of course, it's October. Kicking off tonight, unbelievably, the Blackcaps versus Australia at Bay Oval. With that in mind, we've got ACC head on G Lane on the line with us. G'day, Lane. How's life? Oh, g'day, fellas. Who would have thought? It's a bit of spring cricky on October the 1st. But good signs for us, though, because the Australians are seen practicing with gloves and beanies on. Yeah. It's like a balmy 15 degrees in the Mount Maunganui, but that's about the only thing I think is going to help us.

31:17Jase:Yeah, it's a funny one, isn't it? You sort of look at the two sides line up there, and gee whiz, Aussies are not looking too bad. You've got Yamash Abbott, Tim David, Hazelwood, Travis Head, Maxwell. They are stoiness. Stoiness. Stoiness. There's a bit of batting in that bastard there. Yeah, the good news for us is that Maxwell's out. Yes. He has broken his wrist. Yes. So that's good news for us. But still, yeah, you're right there, Moggy. They have a pretty dangerous batting line up. But basically, their tactics, and it's their tactics for the past 12 months, obviously leading into the World Cup that's happening next year, is basically to put six of the biggest hitters they possibly can in the top six and smash 300.

32:02That's pretty much it. And it's a pretty dangerous batting line-up when you've got Stoinis coming in at 7 or 8. You've got Tim David coming in at 4. You've got Travis Head opening the batting with Mitchell Marsh. It's mildly terrifying.

32:14Keyzie:Now, I may be way off track here, but didn't South Africa give them a bit of a hiding? Yes, they did. Well, they played up in Darwin recently, and they lost that series 2-1. So their theory can backfire if it goes horribly wrong, and it did for those last two games there. So, yeah, you're right there, Jase. They did lose to South Africa. So it's going to be interesting. The conditions will be challenging for the Australians as well. Yes. Spring conditions in New Zealand. That pitch has not seen a lot of sun. I don't know how hard it is. It should be a little soft, and that'll play into our hands.

32:49But big news today, though, is Ravishing Rick Ravindra. Ravishing Ravindra, he's out. He did himself another weird injury, because you can recall he got injured during the World Cup when he head-butted that ball back into the keeper. That's right. Do you remember that? Yes, I do. And he ended up on the sideline for a couple of weeks. This time he's collided with a hoarding, and he's cut his face open, which has resulted in stitches that run down his nose and through his cheek. He's out for the series.

33:18Keyzie:I mean, you know, I sort of look at something like that and the first thought that comes to mind is harden up. You know what I mean? His face has been cut and stitched back together. Yeah, well, so what, man? Just chuck a helmet on. Exactly. I mean, come on, man. Well, yes, fielding in a helmet would be interesting. I'd like to see that. That would be quite good.

33:37Jase:Well, he needs it if he keeps on headering balls back to the keeper. Yeah, because he collided with the advertising hoarding around the outside of the actual boundary itself. Isn't that right? Yeah, at practice. Yeah, at training. He was getting some changas, changa practice in the boundary and just collided. A little bit accident-prone, but he's going to be missed. It feels like we've missed a trick to a degree because we are in Tauranga. It is one of the hottest places in the country. All three T20s, of course, there. We've got today and then Saturday and Sunday. Down in Dunedin today, it's eight degrees.

34:08Yeah. We should be at University Oval.

34:11Jase:We should be at University Oval. We should save Bay Oval in the height of summer where it's actually beautiful out there. And if we're bringing Aussie over, absolutely go as far south as possible.

34:20Keyzie:Well, just on that lane, by the way, I'm sitting here in the Auckland studio. She's a bit moody outside. What is the actual forecast tonight? Well, forecast tonight is good. I think they'll get a full T20 in tonight. It's a Friday night game that's looking a little dicey. And then Saturday, thunderstorms are predicted. but it potentially could clear later in the evening because it's a 7 o 'clock kick-off for all three of these games. So it goes tonight and then a double whammy Friday, Saturday night.

34:47Jase:And yeah. Yep, so that's how it goes. So look, the weather's not looking great but we'll get one in tonight. Thank you very much, G-Lane. Don't forget if you are keen to listen along to the Alternative Commentary Collective, give them a search on iHeartRadio. All three T20s are going to be broadcast on there. G-Lane, this is all thanks to Export Ultra and the Beer Garden Studio, right? Yeah, absolutely. and the great New Zealanders at Rosine. How bloody good. I tell you what, it's a great time to be alive because you're going to be able to watch the cricket, Australia versus New Zealand, and also the Bledisloe Cup, Australia versus New Zealand, on the same night.

35:21It's a bit weird, isn't it? And then on the Sunday, you can watch the NRL Grand Final as well. There's a lot on.

35:26Jase:Yeah. Thanks, G-Lane. Very weird having a rugby season, an international season like that, crossing over with cricket. Oh, didn't it?

35:32Keyzie:Well, it's actually happening more and more, actually, Margie.

35:34Jase:It is. I mean, it's all falling apart, Keezy, as you were saying. off here. It's a disgrace. The Hauraki Big Show with Jace, Mike and Kesey. Tune in weekdays at four on Radio Hauraki.

35:44Keyzie:Lead Zeppelin there on the Radio Hauraki Big Show this Wednesday evening. Hey, fellas, we want the listeners to show us their doodle. What? And by doodle, we mean their drawing abilities because we are officially designing a brand new backbone T-shirt and we've decided to put it out to the audience to see if anyone has any good ideas.

36:02Jase:How good? So we're not designing it. They are. They are, yes. They will design it And if it's bloody good enough, and you can submit it at hodaki.co.nz, you can see your creation turned into the real deal. Cheers to Mr. Vintage.

36:13Keyzie:How bloody good is that? Because we've got some clever bastards out there. We do. It doesn't matter what your job is. You might be a graphic designer. You might just be a dude who picks up a piece of paper and decides to doodle something on there. To do, yes. Do it. Head to hodaki.co.nz, submit your design, and it could become the real deal. Great stuff, mate. Hey, now listen, plenty coming up after 6 o 'clock, including a bit of advice on Meat Patty Nip 69. and I've got a really exciting announcement. The Hauraki Big Show with Jace, Mike and Keezy. Tune in weekdays at four on Radio Hauraki. Welcome back, you massive backbones.

36:49Keyzie:You are listening to The Big Show brought to you by Reburger. Beef, chicken, vegan and vegetarian options available. Reburger are redefining the norm. Scrum diddly umptious. Yeah, man. Yeah. That sounds yummy. Yeah.

37:03Jase:What sounds yummy? that scrum diddly umptious, the way he says it. Oh, right. Makes me think, oh, that sounds yum.

37:09Keyzie:Totally, man. Yeah. Hey, speaking of dinner, what are you having tonight, Keezy? My wife's having after-work drinks. Yeah, Keezy!

37:18Jase:Woo! So a ham and pineapple pizza then. Ham and pineapple and eight beers. And just gaming like a demon. Get a weapon, Keezy. No, so she started having the drinks at five. Yeah. And she said she'll be home by 7.30. Oh. So I said I'd get home first. You'd put on something comfortable. Yeah. Put on something comfortable, little blouse in my house shoes. Are you going to put a ribbon in your hair? Of course. I'm not an idiot. Will you be wearing an apron? Yes. Oh, now that's hot. Yes. And nothing underneath? Is that what you're thinking, Chase? Yeah, totally. So hang on. I'm going to have my apron on, a ribbon in my hair, and my house shoes on.

37:55Yes.

37:55Jase:And a little blouse. And a little blouse. But I'll take that off. I forget the blouse. I'll lose the blouse, yeah. And then I'm going to make... So your nips would be out? No, the apron's quite a high apron. Oh, okay. And it's got number one dad written on it. Yeah, I've got a number one dad apron. Totally.

38:16Keyzie:I don't know why that was wrong, but it just was. I don't know. It's stupid. Mogi's cracking up, so that's good.

38:22Jase:I'm just thinking of you wearing that. It's hot, man. Thank you. And then I'm going to make tacos. Long and short of it is I'm getting home first and making tacos is where I was going with that yarn. Pork mints tacos? Jeez, you took a long way around to tell that. Yeah, did I? All of a sudden you're banging on about eight fringes. You're having a rib in my hair. Which was number one, Ted. I know, that's my bad. I get sidetracked. You're better making chicken tacos. Oh, yes. Okay. They're very popular in Mexico. Cece! What are you having, J-Spot?

38:54Keyzie:I told you, didn't I? What? Macaroni cheese. Oh, yeah. You're telling us off air. That was off air. Oh, right. It's got nothing in it. And a fresh green salad with, I might add, kese avocado sliced all through it. Yum, Mogey?

39:09Jase:I think I've had my dinner.

39:10Keyzie:Well, you've had three bowls of food since you've been here, so I'm picking you have. And a bag of chips.

39:17Jase:Can I answer, man? Yeah, sure. Probably some popcorn. Have you ever had popcorn before? No, what's that? It's little things of corn, and you heat them up and they pop. Wow. And then you pour butter on them and salt. And I'll probably have a drink, a nice hot fizzy drink. Here's Radiohead. The Hauraki Big Show with Jace, Mike and Kesey. Tune in weekdays at four on Radio Hauraki.

39:41Keyzie:Faith No More there on the Radio Hauraki Big Show this Wednesday evening. Fellas, I've got some breaking news, a bit of an announcement.

39:52Keyzie:This is breaking news. In my efforts to stay connected to the world and not retreat into hibernating as a bitter and resentful old man, I've signed up for a course, fellas. Oh, wow. That's good, man. Yeah, yeah. I'm really excited about it. Further education. I like it. Further education. Exactly that. Night classes. Night classes. Exactly that, Maggie. What are you doing, like an MBE or something? Or like, is there an area of study that you're really interested in that you've always wanted to try. Absolutely. And I pulled the trigger on it. Perfect. It's all very well to sit here and, you know, think about it, but thought without action is pointless.

40:35Right, it's not going to affect the show, is it?

40:37Keyzie:No, no, it should be fine. I've signed up for a kimchi-making course. Kimchi. Kimchi, like the fermented cabbage. It's fermented cabbage. The Korean thing. It's Korean, yes, it is. Would you not just get a recipe book? It's much more complex than that, Moggy. Is it? Yeah, totally, man. So what is it?

40:56Jase:It's cabbage in a jar.

40:57Keyzie:Well, you've got to get the ingredients, you've got to get the balance and all that, which is why you've got to do the course. Oh. And it's very simple. Four hours every Saturday night for the next year. To make a jar of kimchi. Four hours. To learn how to make a jar of kimchi.

41:16Jase:Right, because it's... One jar. So at the end of a year, you get one jar.

41:19Keyzie:Well, this is the great thing about it. At the end of the course, what ends up happening is you get a jar of kimchi that you made. Unless, of course, your batch sort of shits the bed and it's horrible, then you probably get someone else's kimchi. Yeah, right. Did you have to take out a student loan to get it, to do it? Yes, I did. Wow, how much was that? Well, this is the crazy thing. I don't know what's happened to the world. Yes? It's more than a medical degree. It's like$25 ,000. A medical degree is like over$100 ,000. Yeah, over eight years, but this is only a year. So if you look at it like that, if I did it for eight years, it would be more than a medical degree.

41:59Could you do like a master's and then a doctorate?

42:01Keyzie:You can actually, yeah.

42:03Jase:Because I'm just looking at it up here and it says this is just online. Yeah. It says it's easy and that it takes half an hour. Yeah, because it's just fermented cabbage with some spice and stuff. Yeah. I mean, it says it's easy. But I guess if you really want Because my thought was My wife buys kimchi quite often

42:22Keyzie:Well you see she could buy it off me Keezy Well she just gets it from the supermarket for like$5 And it's really good Yes And you're paying$25 ,000 to learn how to make it And giving up every Saturday night for a year Yeah I don't mind that so much I mean I'd sell it to her for$4.50 Right And you would have the joy of knowing When you're making your kimchi pancakes That haughty Jay put his heart and soul into that.

42:48Jase:Yeah. Do you like kimchi? Hate it. The Hauraki Big Show. Weekdays from four on Radio Hauraki.

42:56Keyzie:Two fighters there on the Radio Hauraki Big Show this Wednesday evening. Now, fellas, the Needham Beer and Food Festival is fast coming upon us. And one of the exciting things, apart from the fact that we're going to be doing a live show down there, is we're creating our own beer. And today at our sort of marketing meeting, Promo meeting. Promo meeting. We went through, I think it was 250 name suggestions for our beer. How good was that?

43:25Jase:Jeez, people have got good imaginations. They do. A lot of honker-focused stuff. Yes. And that was pretty much it. Oh, the word jizz was in there quite a lot. Yeah, there was a lot of that in there as well. Because the exact terminology from the team was, I'm just going to, like, you guys just point out a few that you like and then we've got to run them past the legal team and make sure we can name it there. I don't know if any of the ones we picked are going to go past the legal team. Yeah, there's quite a few there. There's some weird ones that were in there. I think probably giving them 10 is probably the way to go, isn't it?

43:54Jase:And then in the end it'll just be called the Big Show Brew. No, it'll be called Backbone Beer. Oh, Backbone Beer. Yeah, Backbone Brews.

44:00Keyzie:Yeah, yeah, yeah. It better bloody not be because someone suggested and we latched onto it the Midnight Steamer. Yeah. And I think that is an absolute winner from beginning to end, but if that doesn't get through, I'll be filthy. Tony on all fours has got something as well. I still think that. No one suggested that. There was a lot of Tony chat, actually, on that. There was. A lot of Tony names.

44:19Jase:I think the trouble is that we're the ones that are coming up with the ideas that we like, so nobody's submitting them, so they're not in the competition. Yeah, yeah, yeah. So it's a real shame Tony on all fours isn't going to be picked. There is still time to choose at hodaki.co.nz. Enter our competition. The beer is a hazy pale ale made by Emerson's. Yeah. And we're going to be pulling it at the Craft Beer and Food Festival 7th and 8th of November. We're pulling it hard, man. I'm going to be pulling it. I'm going to be hanging off the end of it.

44:45Keyzie:I'm going to be absolutely pulling it. I'm going to be hanging out the back of it. You guys all right? Huh? You all right? Yeah. Yeah, okay, good. We're just really excited for the craft beer and food fest. Pull it. 7th and 8th of November, it's Forsyth Bar Stadium. If you do go to hodaki.co.nz and enter the draw there, name our beer. You will also potentially win flights and accommodation and tickets for you and a mate to join us at the festival. We're doing a live show on the Friday.

45:08Jase:How good? It's going to be bloody grouse, man. Oh. At all. Do you like this one, Keezy? Stink fist. This is a bit of stank fast. You ever had a stink fist, Jase?

45:22Keyzie:Jase. Well, I was making a feta salad once, and, yeah, I did end up with a pretty stinky fist. Gross. The Hauraki Big Show with Jase, Mike, and Keezy. Tune in weekdays at 4 on Radio Hauraki. New order there on the Radio Hauraki Big Show this Wednesday night. Let's give out some advice.

45:45Keyzie:Meet PattyNips69.com. Get in touch. With the fellas. With the fellas. Are we butchering that sting? I don't think so. It's already pretty good. People love it, man. Oh, okay. It's a real email address, by the way. MeetPattyNips69 at gmail.com. Get in touch. 100 % anonymous. Advice on anything. And if we read it out, you get a$50 Reburger voucher. This one comes from Anonymous Afternoon Fjellers My wife and I have been together for about three and a half years She had a dog Before we met and ever since I've known the dog It's been clear it doesn't seem to like Or respect me When I come home it sees that it's me And just walks away but when my wife comes home It goes absolutely nuts with excitement Even when a stranger comes over The dog shows them more attention and affection Than it ever shows me My theory is that I'm low down in the pack order My wife is alpha, the dog is beta And I'm at the back of the pack somewhere Should I deduge the dog to gain beta Or deduge the wife to gain alpha And the respect I deserve Or any other suggestions, what do I do?

46:55Jase:Yeah, wow I think you need to, yeah it's tricky I had the same thing actually When I met my wife Oh with Tinker With Tinker Tinker didn't like old Mogey coming over there Right You know what I mean? Sure, yeah I hated it. Absolutely hated it. And I wasn't a big fan of Tinker either. Why is that? Jealous? Well, because they just sit around geasing at you the whole time. Like Hoody J out the window.

47:18Keyzie:And she had massive googly eyes too. So that would have been quite freaky.

47:25Jase:Yeah, that's right. I think it's certainly tricky because you want to enjoy a dog. You don't want to hate a dog, the dog of your partner there. So it is tricky.

47:35Keyzie:I've got the answer to this. It's very simple. You do the mogi treatment. Oh, yeah. And so when the partner is away and the couch is just. And this is mogi treatment, okay. And the dog is just lounging on the couch. Yeah. You go over to the dog, you hold it down, and you fart in its face. And you tell that dog who the alpha male is.

48:00Jase:Do you think. That's how they do it in the wild, because when they're in packs. Totally, man. They hold each other down. All the other dogs hold one dog down.

48:07Keyzie:And really build one up too. Try and hold on to it until she's gone and then rip ass. Can I make a recommendation? Yeah.

48:17Jase:One thing that you can do is exactly what you were saying, Jase. But I would trick the dog at the same time. Because a dog can't help but be curious and you can use that against them. Their strength is their weakness oftentimes. Right. So first thing you've got to do is cook a sausage. Just one? One will be enough. You get a bucket. All right? Right. You break the sausage in half because you might need to do this twice. Well, you've got two sausages. Nah, you don't want to give it too many sausages. Okay, yeah, true. Or you'll look like a, you know. Yeah. A cuck. You put half the sausage in the bottom of the bucket and then you rip ass inside the bucket and you cover it up with like a chopping board or a newspaper.

49:04Jase:Yeah, and then you get the dog to come over. Yeah, you want a sausage, mate? You want a sausage? And then it sticks its head in the bucket, and then you put the handle up over it, and so it's walking around now. It's got the bucket stuck on the head. Yeah, yeah, nice. And then you get a video recording of the dog walking around sniffing your ripping ass. In the bucket, yeah. With a bucket. It looks stupid. Yeah. And then once it finally gets the bucket off the head, you show the dog the video, and you say, if you don't start showing me some respect around here, I'm going to show your mum.

49:31Keyzie:Yeah, nice. Just to add to it. Like if you don't have a sausage, you could just curl one out. A sausage?

49:47Jase:Just one of your own little floaters there. Oh, yeah. And the thing about Liz Kesey, and you won't know this. No, I have no idea. It works every time. The Hauraki Big Show with Jace, Mike and Kesey. Tune in weekdays at four on Radio Hauraki.

50:10Keyzie:Well there you go you mad bastards That's the big show done and dusted this Wednesday night Hope you enjoyed it Really I do

50:16Jase:I think it was great man Yeah it was a good show

50:18Keyzie:Some of your best work Kesey Really good Yeah you were on fire Kesey

50:23Jase:I didn't feel any better than I normally do That's the thing though Often times when you're at your best It just feels like a normal show But the audience really reacts to it I'm getting so many texts Saying how much they love you today It's a shame you're wasting it on the big show, man. I see big things for you. I'm thinking...

50:43Are you going to say anything?

50:45Jase:Radio New Zealand.

50:46Keyzie:Oh, the pinnacle. That's not the pinnacle. I don't want to work with Radio New Zealand. Of course you do. Midnight till dawn with Keezy. The Midnight Steamer with Keezy. Hey, in the podcast outro today, there was lots talked about. What's the clip, Keezy? This one here is entitled Yardwork. It's this massively heavy, really long metal bar. Oh, yeah, I know the one. And you just shove it in the earth by the stump and then start levering. Great, I like that. It is as heavy as ****.

51:20Jase:About 15 kilos. It's actually quite small too. Massively, massively effective. It's about the size of a toothpick, but Jase for Jase is like huge.

51:28Keyzie:What were you pulling out? Daisy. For frail old hoity J. I got a real sweat on.

51:35Jase:He had a shocker, man. He was doing that. He got out some daisies and then he went for a ride on a bumblebee.

51:44Keyzie:That's so cold, Jase, man. It was one of the most magical moments of my life, actually.

51:50Jase:You said you were shitting bricks.

51:51Keyzie:Oh, I was scared initially. It was like riding a dragon, you know, and they're vibrating little bastards. They're bumbly. Yeah, you know, and you don't want to get near the rear end, let's just say that much. Why don't next time you get a daisy pulled out, just let me know. I'll come around and do it. Sure, man, sure. Might actually get invited around to your house. He's obsessed. Yeah, I want to come to your house, man. Let me in, man. Well, you can come around when you drop the water blaster off. Sure, man, okay. Yeah, sounds good. Hey, make sure you check out the Instagram. Make sure you check out the podcast.

52:28Keyzie:Till tomorrow, see you later. Bye.

52:34Thank you.