FULL SHOW: Plastic Chicken Soup

18:50So like they died temporarily? Like zombies. Are they zombies?

18:54Keyzie:Pretty much, yeah. They were zombies? Well, no, hang on. Not pretty much, yeah, because this is a real show, reality. Yeah, it's a reality show, Casey. So they died and came back to life. They died. Zombies. But they came back to life for the interview. Jeez, that's no good. To say how they survived, but in this case they didn't. And then after the interview. What would you have done differently? Was it that sort of line of questioning? Yes. Because what they normally do is they go, so why do you think you survived? Yeah. On the final episode they said So why do you think you didn't survive And then they'll be like So after the interview Yeah well they were, I mean they didn't really have an answer Well they're dead Yeah well that's right And I mean you say that they came back to life for the interview But they're dead, did they say anything?

19:38Keyzie:No They're dead Why would they say anything? So it was just like a dead person In a seat and they ask it a question And then nothing comes back Correct. And you watched the whole thing. So good. Five buzzies. The Hauraki Big Show. Weekdays from four on Radio Hauraki. Yes, indeed. Gorilla's there on the Radio Hauraki Big Show this Wednesday afternoon. The time is six minutes to five o 'clock. Hey, fellas, just a quick reminder to the audience out there. If you are in the South Island and you'd like to see the Big Show live at a pub, we're going to be down at Emerson's on the 22nd of April. That is next week.

20:16It is a Wednesday, so a week from now. Emerson's Dunedin, 4pm till 7pm. The Big Show will be live. First hundred through the door, get a free Backbone shirt. Yeah, man. And that's to celebrate Emerson's Hazy IPA, Hazed and Confused, turning 10.

20:29Keyzie:Make sure you get in early too, by the way, because she filled up real quick last time. Real quick. Real fast. I mean, standing outside in the freezing cold Dunedin weather, you know, hoping to get in to see the Big Show get in early. That's right. Have a couple of beersies. Yeah. You know, get chilled out, get relaxed, get ready to go. Yeah. Hey, coming up after five, by the way, fellas, we've got a few things coming up. A chance to win a double pass to the sold-out WARS game this weekend. Oh, yes. Which is bloody exciting. Mania Stewart from The Breakfast Show is coming on. Yes. He was in Women's Day a few months ago.

21:01Yeah. And, of course, I've been asked because my career is taking off. And I just want to get some advice from Mania as to what I can expect. Yeah. Because I imagine it's a bit of a rocket ship, you know, getting the old Women's Day article done on there. Yeah, you won't be hanging around here much longer, I can't imagine. That's for sure, mate. The world is your oyster. Yeah, yeah. Plus, we made a massive bet on the Big Show outro yesterday. A bet involving Hoity J and vaping. I want to double down on that bet. Okay? Okay, man. I've been thinking about it, and I'm backing Hoity J on this one.

21:30I'm going to double down. Good stuff, mate. The Hauraki Big Show with Jace, Mike, and Keezy. Tune in weekdays at 4 on Radio Hauraki.

21:41Keyzie:Welcome back, you massive backbones. Hope you're surviving your hump day. There you are. Listening to The Big Show brought to you by Toledo's. Toledo's electrolytes. Clean, cutting-edge hydration. Get it in you.

21:58Keyzie:Toledo's. Toledo's. Toledo's. That was kind of cool. It was like a sort of eco. No, it wasn't. We all said it at once. Are your ears on the piss, Jase?

22:11Yeah, good stuff, man. When you said hump bay, what did you mean by that?

22:14Keyzie:Oh, I was thinking about something else when I was saying it. You're thinking about me. I was thinking about Mogi, actually, and that just slipped out, as it were. Is Mogi your bae? He's my bae. Bae-bae. Yeah. Oh, wow. Let me just say this. He's on the file. All right, fellas? Oh, Jesus. Oh, holy hecka. Is he in the bank? Oh, he's in the bank, all right. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Gross. Am I in the bank? Good Good, that's how it's supposed to be Do you want to know if you're in my bank? You're not What have you got in your bank? Talk us through your bank, Keezy Should we do bank chat with Keezy? That's a great idea What's in my bank?

23:02Yeah And I just sort of list off stuff

23:04Keyzie:Yeah, what's your go-to? Do you know Audioslave, the lead singer? Chris Cornell now? Look at Pugs, he's freaking out. Pugs looks like we're actually going to do it. We're just talking about what's in our bank accounts man, it's all G. Come on man. And you've got so many accounts, eh? Yeah man. Here's audio slay. The Hauraki Big Show with Jace, Mike and Kesey. Tune in weekdays at 4 on Radio Hauraki. Yes indeed, Radiohead there on the Radio Hauraki Big Show this Wednesday afternoon. The time is 12 minutes past 5 o 'clock. Fellas, yesterday on the podcast outro, which is a bonus podcast, we do every single day, about 10 minutes of chitty chat, bonus.

23:45Bonus? A bet was made. A bet was made involving Hoity J and vaping. The bet was that Jase is going to give up vaping, the reason being, Jase, that you get headaches and your lungs hurt all the time. Yeah. And so you're going to give... Which I never got with the durries, by the way. Don't start talking up durries and putting them on a pedestal. So the bet was the entire month of May, so you've got a couple of weeks lead in, more than a couple of weeks, you won't have a vape at all, right? Correct. And if he can do that, Mogi will give me and you$100. Yes. If you can't do it, you have to and I have to give Mogi$100.

24:26Yes.

24:27Keyzie:And can I just say in preparation for this, Keezy, because I don't want to let you down, man. It wouldn't be the first. It would be like the 10th time. Yes. I've gone hard. Now, my theory was I just taper off the vape. Just do it less and less each day. and it would make sense. Bugger that. What makes more sense, and it's a theory they used to have with the old Siggy's, is to do it 24-7 so I get so sick of it and so ill that I never want to do it again anyway. So you're just going to continue as is? No, I'm going to double down and do twice as much vaping as I normally do so that my lungs and my headache really, really hurt.

25:05Yeah. And how's it going so far? Is it having an effect?

25:09Keyzie:This is no word of a lie. All show today, I've been getting massive stitch in my heart. Yeah. And it's really painful. I just want to be very, very clear here. Just for the sake of clarity. So, you know, you've got to have these conditions because oftentimes you end up with people getting little sneaky outs. Little loopholes. Don't have to pay you. Your wife owes me$100 if you drop dead. I'm just saying that. Okay, so if you're doubling down on the vape and you drop dead of a heart attack, stitch in your heart, brain tumour, Whatever's going on with you, I'm not sure. There's something going on 100%.

25:43Yeah, there's pain in my heart. I want my money.

25:45Keyzie:Oh, okay. Okay. Yeah. That's fair enough. But having said that, I haven't technically lost the bet there. If you die first. If I die first. Well, it seems like a bit of a coward's way out, that you would rather die than have to give up vaping for a month. It seems like. But hang on, Moogie, to that point. If he dies, right, Jase, if you die, right, you die soon. Like in the next two weeks. Yeah. And then technically at the end of May, I'm going up to Mogey and going, Hey, where's my$100? Okay, well, I need to make this a condition now. If you die... It's actually beginning to give me anxiety this chat.

26:28Before the start of May or even before the end of May, the bet becomes null and void. Yes.

26:35Keyzie:Because I don't want to put that onus on my wife. You know what I mean? No, she'll have other things to think about. Yeah, exactly. the funeral and all that sort of stuff. Eulogy. Snacks. Beverages. Where she's going to hold it. Actually, St. Mark's would be good. It's huge. Hey, I've just sort of a wacky idea. We could plan Horty J's funeral on radio. It's like a wacky thing that we could do. But the reason I wanted to bring this up, I wanted to be on the radio so that the radio listeners are aware of this bit too. Because the ultimate idea in my mind is that Horty J stops vaping and having durries as well.

27:07because all you do is come in here and bang on about how crap you feel, whether you're smoking cigarettes or vaping.

27:12Keyzie:Okay. You know what I mean? Yes. And so I'm willing to double down. I would love to do a bit where Jase doesn't have a vape or a cigarette for the entire year. What a great idea. To the end of the year. Yeah. And if that happens, if he can do that, if he can't do it, I'll shout the whole Big Show team and their partners a dinner out like we did. Remember? Because remember you shouted us all curry night. Oh, yes. I'll do the same thing.

27:39So if you lose the bet, we have to spend more time together. I can live with that. I can live with that 100%. So can I, actually. So, Jase. It's like betting that Jase can grow a foot in the next sort of eight months. No, but he's got some, you know, he can do it. Can we choose the restaurant? No. I will choose the restaurant. But it'll be a nice restaurant. But I'm not letting you choose the most expensive. And this is Jase. I just really like curry

28:09Keyzie:that's all you know what I'm saying yeah see actually the issue here the issue here is if Jase has a vape he gets a free dinner that's right oh you haven't thought this one through Keezy I'm in on that though man oh yeah I am in on that no you don't get to look him in the eye man you can trust him man Jase please don't let me down please don't let me down I honestly and feel free to text through support on 3483 I think you can do this man But also the Maybet stands. Yeah, 100%. The Maybet's the main one. In fact, that restaurant bet, just get rid of it. It doesn't make sense. It's incentivising him to have a vape.

28:46It is completely wrong. But the Maybet does stand. I've put the dates in my calendars of set reminders. Yeah. I'm going to be keeping an eye on it. And your wife, as we know, will tell us the truth as to whether you've been vaping.

28:56Keyzie:Yeah, that's true. She will. Okay. The betrayer that she is. You can do it, Jase. I believe in you, man. I can't believe she did that to me, man. Hey, here's Metallica. The Hauraki Big Show, weekdays from four on Radio Hauraki. Yes, indeed, the Kings of Leon there on the Radio Hauraki Big Show this blustery Wednesday afternoon. A bit of support on the text machine there, Keezy3483. Old hoity Jay giving up the vape. Yeah, and if you've just tuned in, this isn't, you know, the big show from five years ago. No, we're doing it again. Jase is going to kick a habit. It is the vape. We're putting another bet on it this time the entire month of May.

29:35If you don't vape, Mogey gives me and you$100 each. Yeah. But if you do vape, we both have to give Mogey$100.

29:42Keyzie:Yeah, okay. Lots of people texting through on 3483. Jase, cold turkey on both. Don't be a coward from Cameron. Yeah, nice. I like that. Just harden up. Yeah. Adam says Jase can't do it. Yeah, that guy gets it. Well, that guy's just, he's listened to the show before. Yeah, he knows Jase better than Jase knows himself. True. Correct. Jase, I'm with you, brother. I vape and I vape hard. I get headaches from it as well. so I'm going to join you as well. Just smash it until May and then I'm done. That's from John. Yeah, good on you, John, your backbone. So it's good motivation, isn't it? Yeah, it is good motivation.

30:12Can I also just say, one text here, leave Jace alone, I'll kill Joy Keezy. If he enjoys it, don't take it from him. Yeah, that's true, because you haven't got many joys in your life, Jace.

30:20Keyzie:That is true, but I'm not enjoying it, Mogey. Yeah, well, get back on the darts. What are you up to? Yeah, true. I told you, how many times? Come on, man. The reason this has come about hang on is because you come in banging on about having headaches and lungs and how you want to get off the vape. Yeah. So that's why this has come about, all right? Totally. Now, listen, fellas, we've been approached by the breakfast show again. They want to do another challenge, and of course they do because we've done two with them before and we've lost both of them and then had to do the breakfast show. So it's no surprise to me that once again they're wanting to do another challenge thinking these guys are easy beats.

30:53Keyzie:Yes. And we'll get them to do our show and we can have another day off. Yeah, and the issue is that they're sort of lining it up. I can tell the timing is kind of right on point for the bet to end up being, once again, the day after Radio Awards, which is a big night. Yes. I can see what they're doing. They're lining it up again so that we will be coming in, Pugs and I especially, will be coming in after two hours of sleep to do their breakfast show. Yeah. I mean, I'm open to it. I mean, I'm 100 % open to it. Yeah, yeah. Should we do another relay race? Look, we've got to mix it up a bit, don't we?

31:24I just think my quad is so much better now. Well, the one thing we can't do is put ourselves in a position where Kesey has to bear any kind of responsibility. Because that's sort of what's cost us these last couple of times. So what is there that we could do? And I guess we need ideas on 3483 from anybody out there, anything you've got. I mean, they've come back to us and they've said, what about bench press?

31:45Keyzie:Yeah, which I find intriguing because old Jeremy's as weak as piss. Yeah, piss. Yeah, piss, you're right. I guess it's how does it work? is that they're going to get Ruda involved or do we get Zoe involved? Because if we're getting Zoe involved, I think she's pretty much on a par with you. With Keezy, yeah. Totally. You were gesturing at Jase. The other thing you need to know about bench press is the shorter you are and the shorter the limbs you have, the better you can do it. Yeah, well, I do 180. Well, exactly, Jase. You've got tiny little limbs, and if Pugs is involved, the three of us, Mike, we've all got long arms, you know?

32:22So it's really hard. whereas Minaya's got little stumps as well. He does. So, you know, he's got an advantage. Yeah, and he's also got a real barrel sort of a body. Yeah, barrel chest. So when he puts his hands out, it only barely extends past his buzzies anyway. Yes. And then what he does is he just bounces it off the bum, bum. Yeah, off his buzzies.

32:41Keyzie:Yeah, like little trampolines. That's right. You know, I feel pretty good about that one, actually, because also, of course, Maggie, you smash it at the gym. What are you pressing at the moment? I have in my life, but I haven't been for a while. So if, yeah, I'm certainly not going to say what I have done and I'm not going to say what I'm currently doing. You don't want to give them any kind of a heads up. Yeah, true. But I've seen Mania down there and if we're going to beat him at anything, it's probably going to be cardio. That's true. I don't want to do cardio. I'm not doing cardio. I'm terrible at cardio.

33:11We've just done a whole lot of chat about you on the vape, man. We can't do cardio. Well, we just have to think about it. Look, you've got Mania there who's probably not great at cardio. You've got Jerry who's got a horrendous back. and legs. And he's got all sorts of issues with his body. So anything where we're sort of putting them under the test, put them under pressure for a longer period of time, I think is a good idea. Can I just say, Ominai, though, he has run two half marathons and I believe he's running. So he runs all the time. Yeah, right. I can't run at all. He's probably the fittest out of all of us.

33:39I'm the least fit. I don't run at all. And you've got to factor me in this too. Oh, yeah. No matter what we talk about, we have to factor you in. Yes. I think we should. What about pub games? because you want to be the best at that. So I would go plain pull. I would go darts. Yes. And I would go possibly pinball. Sorry, not smoking darts, Jase. Oh, right. Yeah, pinball. Well, something. Maybe it's those two things or with something else, but something along those lines, I feel like. Because it's a real braggers' rights, isn't it? You want to be good at pull. You want to be good at darts. I like the pull.

34:16Table tennis is the third thing. I'll play table tennis There you go I've done that before

34:20Keyzie:Yeah okay Table tennis I like table tennis too Because you can really get into the vibe You can put the sweatband on And warm up Do some training Yeah dress ups Get into it I suggested in the group chat Backing a trailer Oh you did too Because I Not that I'm really good at it But at least I think I've backed a trailer More than they would have Yes I haven't Jace have you I'm bloody good at it Bullshit 3483 If anyone's got any suggestions Feel free to send them through you can get$50 cash thanks to Toledo's. Speaking of breakfast, by the way, I'm going to speak to Manaya next from The Breakfast Show.

34:53Keyzie:Oh, yeah. We need to chat to him about your upcoming photo shoot, Keezy. Yeah, with Women's Day. He's been there, done that, so a bit of advice will come in handy. The Hauraki Big Show, weekdays from four on Radio Hauraki. Yes, indeed. Stone Temple Pilots here on the Radio Hauraki Big Show this blustery Wednesday evening. Now, Keezy was updating us yesterday about his exciting news. He's going to be featured in the next edition of Woman's Day. And, Mogi, we were saying when you're featuring Woman's Day, you know that you've made it in your career. You know what I'm saying? Yeah, that's right. You normally made it to your 40s or 50s.

35:30Yeah. But Keezy, he's done it younger than most. He's a young buck. I know, fellas. To be honest, it's a bit surreal at the moment. Yeah, I can imagine. The speed at which my career is moving. Unreal. It's freaking me out a bit. Your mum must be thrilled, though. She doesn't know. It's a secret. Are you going to surprise her with it? Maybe, yeah. But someone whose career has skyrocketed certainly before, but mostly since appearing in Women's Day, is Minaya Stewart from The Breakfast Show here on Radio Hodaki. G'day, Minaya. Afternoon, fellas. How's it going? I feel like right now, you know that movie Interstellar?

36:04Yes. And the guys in the bookcase looking back at the past, screaming at his kids not to do it? Is that you? That's how I feel, yeah. That's how I feel right now. Is it because you got so famous and so much success that you don't want that for Christopher? And sex. And sex, yeah, that's right. No, I've got to be honest, I can tell you from about, what, three, four months down the track from where you are right now, Chris, I can tell you what's going to happen. Right. You are going to go in there, sit down with them. It's going to be a hit piece. Nothing that they print is going to be something you actually said.

36:38Right. Then what's going to happen is a group of your mates from down in Waimata are going to create a new group chat, which you'll be added to. And the first thing you'll see is a screenshot of the local dairy. It'll be the blown up. It's not A4, whatever size the one they put outside the dairy is. Yeah, I think it's A1 or something. They'll put one of those in the group chat. And then you know what's coming next. And that's about 3 ,000 messages basically tearing strips off you. Yeah. And the cool thing about that is back in the day, a magazine would be on the shelves for like a week, right?

37:10Yeah. But now because of the internet, that'll stay up there forever. And so anytime anyone ever Googles your name, that'll be the first thing that comes up. So it'll stay up there forever.

37:19Keyzie:Having said that, Manaya, I read your piece in Woman's Day and what a beautiful love story it was, man. I mean, seriously, it moved me to tears. Well, I'll have to take your word for it, Jase, because I can't look at it. I will say, though, your mum will be proud. Like, your mum will ring you from the checkout at the local supermarket. She'll be on the phone. That's my son. And she'll be talking to the cashier. Yeah, because this is kind of one of the reasons I agreed to do it, Minaya, was my wife's family, like her nana, the cousins compete with one another to be in their nana's good books, and she loves Women's Day.

37:53Right. And so my wife was like, if you get a Women's Day, and she'll be in it too, because it will be all about our love story, won't it? Yeah, totally. It's not about me as a person. Am I right in saying that? Yeah. No, it's got absolutely nothing to do with you. But what I will say is that will be balanced out by Jason Minogue taking the ever-living piss out of you on the radio. I'll be honest with you, man. I think it's the coolest thing he will have ever done. I'm so proud of him. Yeah, totally. When you look at, you know, you balance it out against, you know, doing his quad in that running race.

38:24What else? Massive meat patty nips, although he did broadcast from a bathtub at Sky City once. Yeah, that was pretty amazing. Amazing looking back, isn't it?

38:32Keyzie:And the courage that, you know, because there'll be a big photo spread, obviously, and with your wonky ears and all that sort of stuff. I mean, that is a sign of real courage, Keezy, and I'm proud of you for that, man. Thank you. So, Minaya, obviously your career has taken off since being in the magazine. Has it? No, no, probably not actually. Okay, because I was kind of hoping that mine would after being in it. Okay. I reckon what you should do is, because your wife's going to be in it as well, the angle you should take is spicing it up in the boudoir with old Kesey. Oh, yeah. Right, and what am I doing?

39:09At home with sick old Kesey.

39:11Keyzie:Well, you're just going through your toys and stuff. I don't have any toys. You know what I mean? Oh, my God. Old Kesey on the front cover, all fours looking over his shoulder. Oh, brilliant. Thanks, fellas. All right, well, thanks very much, Minaya Stewart. Don't do it, man. Yeah, don't do it. It's too late. It's booked in. It's happening this weekend. Thanks so much for joining us, man. I appreciate the advice. No worries. Don't do it. Okay. Don't forget you can catch Manaya as part of the Manaya and Jerry show on Hauraki Breakfast. And when can we catch you on Woman's Day? Is that next week?

39:42Keyzie:I'm not telling you, man. I'm not telling you. I cannot wait. It's going to be awesome. The Hauraki Big Show with Jace, Mike, and Keezy. Tune in weekdays at four on Radio Hauraki. Queens of the Stone Age there on the radio. Hauraki Big Show this Wednesday evening. The time is 5.53, and I believe we've got some breaking news, fellas.

40:06This is breaking news. Bloody exciting stuff, fellas. They're making a Lord of the Rings movie. Ah, another one. How good. How good. It's called The Hunt for Gollum. And it's set before all of the Lord of the Rings carry on. But it's still got, listen to this, brand new cast. Listen to this. Ian McKellen as Gandalf. Shit, he's pretty old now, isn't he? Elijah Wood as Frodo Baggins. Shit, he's pretty old now, isn't he? So, a couple of newies there for you. Kate Winslet is going to be in it as Marigol. Oh, how good. You know old Marigol? Jamie Dornan is going to be Strider, who's also known as Aragorn, originally played by...

40:51Viggo Mortensen. Viggo. Viggo Mortensen. So that's good. I think he's out of the Fifty Shades of Grey movies. Yes. Sexy. You know the one, brother. Leo Woodle as Helvard. I don't know who that is. I know who Leo Woodle is. He's a very good actor as well. So it's not a bad... Oh, and Lee Pace, who reprises his role as Thranduil. I don't know any of the actors or any of the roles. You don't know Ian McKellen? Obviously, other than that.

41:19Keyzie:I tried to get you on it, Keezy. I tried to, as one of the sort of, what are they, dwarves? So you tried to get me on it as a dwarf. Yeah, yeah, because I showed them some pics of you and your floaters, your massive feet. Oh, yes. Because you know how they've got massive feet? Yeah, and so did you talk to them in person? Because obviously they were keen on me, but then they saw Jace in real life and were like, why don't we just cast this guy? Well, Jace was already in it because they were doing a crossover from Labyrinth. He's going to be in there as Hoggle. Excited about it too, fellas. So hang on So they're doing a crossover of Tolkien's work Yeah Which is like a beloved piece of Yeah And they're crossing it over with David Bowie's No they're scraping the barrel now I mean they're down to hunt for Gollum Which as far as I'm aware doesn't exist As a piece of J.R.R.

42:08Tolkien Yeah it's not actually But it's in his world Well Gollum's in his world But it's being written by Gollum himself Andy Serkis Right So you know And he's directing it out Yeah that's right And they're thinking to themselves They need it to be a success. What do we do? Bring back Hoggle. Got to have a certain amount of New Zealand cast in it as well as a prerequisite. Right. So get old Hoggle. Get old Hoggle in there. And for people that don't know, Hoggle's one of the little puppet things off Labyrinth, the 80s movie with David Bowie.

42:37Keyzie:Well, it's not a puppet. It's me, Gizzy. Well, no, the rest of them are puppets. Am I right in saying that they saw you, cast you, and just put you in a little waistcoat exactly as you are and then made the rest of the puppets based on how you look? That's right. Pretty much, yeah. And the amazing thing about that, that particular role for me, no prosthetics. No. And that was back when you were wearing that big pirate gold earring there. It was, yeah. Yeah, and it just fitted. You walked in off the street. Slotted. Yeah, I didn't even have to open my mouth. They went, done. Hoggle. Yeah, hoggle.

43:09Keyzie:Hoggle me up. So this film starts shooting in the next month or two and is scheduled for release on December 17th, 2027. We'll be able to watch it at Christmas. So is it being filmed here? Next year, down in Wellington, yeah. Very cool. Yeah, pretty exciting stuff. We should make a big show sort of night of it, fellas, with me starring in it, obviously. Well, hang on, no, Hoggle's not the star of the show. It's not Hoggle finding Gollum, is it? I mean, yeah, but he's... Well, that's the thing. That's sort of the storyline, I think, is it's the long-lost search for Gollum's brother, Hoggle. Hoggle, yeah.

43:41Right, okay. And did you get lost because your eyes are on the piss or something and you wandered off?

43:46Keyzie:No, no. Well, you have to watch the film to find out the story, Keezy. Oh, yeah. Spoiler. Spoiler. I don't want to give it away, and I've got contractual issues as well. Speaking of giving it away, we've got some Warriors tickets to give away after six. Wow. It's a hell of a segue. A double pass to this weekend's sold-out game. All right, so stay listening and give us a call on 0800-HAURAKI when we tell you to. Yeah, good stuff, man. The Hauraki Big Show with Jace, Mike, and Keezy. Tune in weekdays at 4 on Radio Hodaki. Welcome back, you massive backbones. Hope you're having a pleasant Wednesday evening.

44:21Keyzie:You're listening to The Big Show, by the way, brought to you by Toledo's. Toledo's is taking over. No nasties, no compromises. Get it in you now.

44:35Toledo's. It's a natural electrolyte drink, and if you'd like to get some, toledos.co.nz, and they're rolling out in various supermarkets and things across the country. New Zealand made, fellas. New Zealand made. Bloody oats. Get them behind it. Bloody good Kiwi taste.

44:47Keyzie:As I say, fellas, I have one in my bag, which I take when I'm going home, walking home, have a Toledo's in there, and I suck on that on the way back home. How good, man. It's bloody good. By Toledo's, do you mean a vape? I've looked in your bag. There's a packet of Nicaria in there and a vape. I don't know why the bag exists. Why are you looking in my bag, man? I don't know, just for fun. Jeez. I looked in your bag once a while ago, right? It was an innocent little glance in there, and it was Nicaria and a vape. And, of course, a bottle of Toledo. Yeah, good stuff. Hey, what's with tea tonight, fellas?

45:23Good question, Jase. My wife is out tonight. She's at a drinks with her mates. Oh, yeah. Saw her roll in here before earlier on. Yes. I don't know. Did you see her, Jase? Yeah, I did. She is dressed to the absolute nines. My gosh. She's looking good. She's looking good. Well, is it drinks with mates? She's a beautiful woman. Yeah, with her friends, her workmates. Wow. Her former workmates. Oh, yeah. Oh, okay. Yeah, yeah, yeah. So I said I'd pick her up later on. She said, no, no, I'll be all good. I'll just taxi home. You go to sleep all good? Yeah, that's what she said. Yeah. And I was like, oh, sweet, thanks for thinking about me.

45:58Keyzie:It'll probably be a late one. Yeah, yeah. Yeah, it will be. Yes. But that's all, G. And so I'm going to be at home. I've got a frozen pizza that I'm going to have. Yeah, man, you've earned it. So we're both having a good night. Oh, hells yeah. And I tell you what, you can sit there, you can eat your frozen pizza, then play a bit of douche-douche on the screen there, wearing your new douche-douche sweatshirt that someone made for you. You've got my gamer sweatshirt on, yeah. So we're both having a great night. How good, man. What are you doing tonight, Jase? Eating another caps can filled with mints?

46:27Keyzie:Well, now listen. Who ate the fourth one? Because you had four. Well, there's two in the fridge. Two in the fridge and two in the bin? Even better the next day, guys. True story. True story. I said to my wife today, we should probably bin those, shouldn't we? Why? They were so delicious. No, no. No, I like them. We should just, we'll eat them. Well, maybe the kids will have them. And I went, there is no way in the world my daughter will get anywhere near eating something like that. I find that interesting that they were so delicious, and yet your advice today was to throw the leftovers in the bin.

47:03Keyzie:Yeah. Yeah. I'm going to get takeaways tonight. My confidence is down, fellas, after the chicken soup debacle and the capsicum debacle. Yeah. I'm going to give cooking a rest for a little while. If you want to see the chicken soup debacle, by the way, head to the Big Show's Instagram or the Radio Hauraki Facebook page. Up next, a chance for you to win tickets to the WARS. Keep listening. How good, man, because it's sold out, hasn't it, fellas? It has, mate. Man. Apart from these tickets, obviously. Muse. The Hauraki Big Show with Jace, Mike, and Keezy. Tune in weekdays at 4 on Radio Hauraki. Pearl Jam there on the Radio Hauraki.

47:36Keyzie:Big show this Wednesday evening. We've got two tickets to give away to the WARS this Friday, I believe it is. Saturday. Oh, Saturday. Is it against the Titans? Tigers. No, I'm joking. It's this Saturday. The Titans taking on the Warriors at Mount Smart Stadium. How are the Titans going at the moment? Are they terrible? Did they have a win last week? I feel like they pumped someone. Well, that's the thing with the Titans is when the stars align, they can actually play pretty well. They've actually had two wins out of six. Was that last year or the year before they put 60 on us. The year before.

48:06Yeah, that was good eating. That was an embarrassment. That was a shocker. I think it was the darkest day in the Warriors history. Because the Titans were garbage. They were garbage and they smoked us. I don't think that's going to happen.

48:18Keyzie:Really exciting news too with Aaron Clarke. They're signing his contract for next year. Well, no, he actually extended to 29. 29, yeah, that's what I meant. Oh, sorry. Because he's a star, isn't he? What position is he again? He's a forward. He's a real blockbusting bastard too. He wears the jersey. Yeah, he just smashes straight into it. Yep, that's what league players do. It is a huge signing, Jase. And considering he was on a minimum from the Titans pretty much, because we got him from the Titans, who sucked, we got him, Tanner Boyd. Yep. And who was the other chap? Alofiano Camperera. Yeah, Camperera.

48:51So you've got three of those guys playing against their own old club. Two of them going pretty, pretty good, and the other guy probably going to do the same. Hopefully, yeah. But we've got a double pass too, giveaway. Let's go to the lines.

49:02Keyzie:G'day, Mitchell. We're mad bastard. How's life? G'day, fellas. How are you getting on? Yeah, good. Thanks, mate. Good, good. Whereabouts are you based there, Mitchell? Cambridge, mate. Oh, Cambridge. Beautiful horse country. In the big smoke. Yeah, nice. Beautiful spot, Cambridge, actually. A lot of horse breeding. A lot of bull breeding and stuff. Yeah. Hey, Mitch, what do you do for a crust, man? I'm a builder, mate. Oh, you're a backbone. Total backbone. Do you love it, man? Yep, yep. Bloody love it, actually. Bloody love it. Good on you, Mitch. Hey, just quickly, man. What's for tea tonight?

49:35The flatmate's cooking dinner tonight, so it's a little surprise, actually. Oh, yeah. Right, okay. Do you run that sort of operation, the flatmate cooking for you? I never really lived in a flatmate. Yeah, everyone gets to have their own days and stuff. Oh, how interesting. Yeah, who out of all your flatmates, who's the best? Who are you most stoked when it's their day to cook? Oh, well, it's not the ones that are cooking tonight, that's for sure. Don't tell me they're cooking a capsicum stuffed with pork mints. No, I'll be chucking that out, that's for sure. Yeah, it's disgusting. Hey, Mitch, I take it you're a fan of the WARS, mate?

50:06Yeah, up the WARS. Yeah, and you're free this Saturday? Bloody free, bloody free. All right, well, jump on a horse, man, and ride up to Auckland because that double pass is yours.

50:17Keyzie:Who are you going to take, Mitchell? Which flatmate? Yeah, one of the flatmates. Evercook's the best in her, eh? Yeah, get on. Yeah, get on. All right. Good call. You stay on hold and old Pugson will sort you out, brother. You stay there. Bloody exciting. Free ticket. I've never been in a flat like that either, Moggy. No. Where everybody have turns cooking meals. It's like, fend for yourself, you lazy bastard. You get three or four people cooking three or four different meals so every dish in the house gets used and nobody wants to clean up. Yes. Well, no, because the way our flat used to do it was, it was always like your turn to cook and then it was another flatmate's turn to clean up.

50:50Oh, right. And there were five of us, and so you always got a couple of days off. Yeah, that's good. But I didn't realise this. I thought I was the man because I cooked this chicken wrap. It was like chicken breast diced up with some of that old El Paso burrito stuff on it. Yeah, right. Wraps, bit of mayo, sweet chili sauce, some lettuce, tomatoes, and it was delicious. And I was like, my flatmates must love me because I always make this, and they always say it's delicious. And then I found out. Like, they had been talking shit behind my back, and they were saying, oh, he only knows how to make chicken wraps.

51:19Yeah, I mean, it's easy to make, but not a lot of dishes. So whoever was cleaning up after you would have been pretty stoked. Would you be pretty good in that situation, Jase, cleaning up? when I was flatting? Yeah. Or just in general? No. No. I wasn't a tidy guy when I was flatting. When you were flatting, eh? But when you're an older guy, you start getting tidy. That's where I've gotten better. I feel like when I was younger, I wasn't very good, but I've gotten better as I've gotten older. Same.

51:40Keyzie:I like a tidy house now. Yeah, man, exactly. You know? Yeah. But if I can have somebody else clean up after me, that's kind of the dream. Oh, totally. Yeah, absolutely. So if I get an opportunity to have somebody else clean up after me, Kesey, I'm probably going to take it. Yeah, totally, man. All right, so if you and me end up living together,

51:58Yeah, sweet. Can't wait, man. This will be so much fun. You can make him a chicken wrap. The Hauraki Big Show with Jace, Mike and Kesey. Tune in weekdays at 4 on Radio Hauraki.

52:09Keyzie:Green day there on the Radio Hauraki Big Show this Wednesday evening. The time is 6.27. Fellas, testicular cancer is the number one cancer among young fellas here in New Zealand. It is highly treatable when caught early, but people just aren't checking. So to encourage people to check, to reach down there, feel around. and if you feel something a bit out of the ordinary, get in touch with a medical professional. LumpLottery.co.nz has popped up. If you find a lump, you win a ute, basically just encouraging you to check yourself and in the process you could win a free ute. Can I say we've had a lot of great results out of that.

52:41A lot of people have checked, a lot of people have entered, but a lot of people have actually gone along to a doctor because they have found a lump. Yeah, 100%. So it's bloody worthwhile doing because I have never done it until this thing came along. Yes. I'm loving it. It's great stuff. Absolutely loving it. Hey, fellas, I'm having some issue with Bird Shit Chris. Of course, which is your cat. It is. Bird Shit Chris. Once again, I must remind everyone, the audience picked the name of that cat. And it's a great name. Suits it. I wasn't sure to begin with, but now that she's grown up a little bit, really grown into the name.

53:12A few days ago, we had her spade, which, as I discovered, to my shock, involved. She's got quite a lot of stitches, and she's wearing now a... Like a cone. Essentially a cone around her head. But they lopped off her legs, and they put her on wheels. She's on like a mobility cart. Which I've never heard of. I thought when you get spayed, you just, you know, they sort of do a bit of a surgery, put you back together. She's a bit drowsy for a bit, but then she's good as new.

53:37Keyzie:To be fair, though, Kesey, you're not a vet. Well, no, I'm not a vet. You're right, Jase. And I feel like maybe if I was a vet, I would know that when you get spayed, you also lose your hind legs. Well, that's right. Right, and this is what I said to the vet there. I said there, I said, I've never seen a cat on wheels. Like you think if you're spaying these cats, which would be happening all of the time, that you'd see all these cats around about the joint on wheels. Yeah. And the vet said it's because they can't get down the stairs outside your house. Right. They're all inside the house, and that's how, because the idea of spaying them is to stop them getting pregnant.

54:10There's a lot of cats out there, kittens out there that people don't want, so nothing's going to stop them more than them being stuck inside the house. Yes. Anyway, I love the cat. Great cat. What an addition to the house, but keeps me up now. Woke me up last night, 3 o 'clock in the morning. So I have been awake since 3 o 'clock this morning because the cat wakes me up. Yeah. Now, my solution has been, as I've said to my wife and daughter, to put the cat down stairs in the laundry. Oh, okay. Sorry. And just have the cat down there. It can sleep in there. A cat doesn't care. No. A cat doesn't care.

54:43A cat will sleep in the tree. A cat will sleep in the bush. It doesn't care at all. Tree might be not the go now. No, no, they're a bit awkward. Pretty strong front legs there. Yeah, they get strong, don't they? Yeah, they do over time. Yeah, dragging a chassis up with wheels attached to it. But my wife isn't having it. And the feeling I get is that this cat is above the pecking order. Above you? Above me. Yeah, totally. Immediately. Exactly. The cat's been there for three months. I've been there for 12 years. And my wife loves this cat seemingly more than me. Probably not true, but feels like it.

55:24So I don't really know what to do because my wife also sleeps through the night. She doesn't hear a thing. So when she wakes up in the morning, she says, when she wakes up at about seven, she says, what time did you wake up? Three o 'clock. Because of the cat. I've been up since three because of the cat. And what kind of noise is the cat making? Well, sometimes it meows, but we've gotten better with that because we've got an automatic feeder so it can feed itself. But the problem I've got now is as it's going around the house, the wheels squeak like a bastard, number one. And also it's getting used to it.

55:56It's got a really wide wheelbase on it. Like a chariot. Yeah, so when it goes around the corner, it's collecting the doorway and slamming into the door. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Ben first. It's getting used to, I guess, its new setup, right? It's been pimped. It's been pimped. Pimped my cat. Yeah, yeah, totally. That's right.

56:18Keyzie:And it would be an adjustment. You know what I mean? Well, that's right. An adjustment might fix it too because the wheels could be, it might need an alignment. Well, it needs an alignment. Absolutely it does because it keeps, but certainly the squeaking's got to stop. CRC, man. Well, is it squeaking or is it squealing? Is it doing a burnout? You know what I mean? Like squealing in the tires. Well, it does go flying around corners. Cats drift? Yeah, yeah. Well, I was terrified because I woke up, she rolled four times. Wow. And the night she'd come around the corner at a great rate of knots. So, yeah, I'm bloody worried she's going to get trapped under it.

56:48Yeah. Yeah, right. Far out, yes. And, of course, all the while my wife is sleeping. She doesn't know what's going on. Why don't you get another cat that's been spayed and then put a little, like, siren on it, and that could be the police cat who's sort of in charge of just, like, looking after and keeping an eye on things. Kesey, do you think I haven't thought of that? The Hauraki Big Show Weekdays from 4 on Radio Hauraki

57:15Keyzie:Well there you go you mad bastards That's the big show done and dusted for your Wednesday evening What's the podcast outro clip today Keezy? Today's podcast outro clip is about our charitable side What percentage of your income do you give away to charity? 20? 30 %? Well, I give 15 to church. Because tax is included. So that's about 35%. Oh, tax for me? Oh, in that case, 35. Yeah, yeah. Yeah, we're all in the top tax bracket, because we're awesome. So good. That podcast comes out at 7.30 tonight. Search Haraki Big Show. Good stuff. Plans for the night, Mogi? What am I watching a bit of tally, to be honest, man?

57:54Yeah, nice. If that's possible. I've got quite a few shows to finish. Actually, I want to get back to that British one that I was watching, Gone. Yes. I think it was called. I'll give that one a run. I'd also quite like to watch a thriller or something that doesn't require any brain. Yes. Neon, is that on? Gone? No, it was on TVNZ+. Gone. Gone. Actually, it was on 3Now. 3Now. Okay, good. I don't often find myself, but there it was.

58:17Keyzie:Good stuff. Keezy, Bachelor night tonight. It is a Bachelor night. I'm going to order a pizza, I've decided. That's good, man. We're going to get a pizza on the way home. What kind of pizza? Like a pepperoni? No. Sal's pepperoni, I'm picking. I'm not going, I love Sal's pepperoni, but no, I'm going to go for a hell pizza tonight. Yeah. There's this chicken one that I've been wanting to try, so I'm going to try it. I'm going to eat it on my own, and then I'm going to play PlayStation, and then I'll pick up my steamed wife. She won't be steamed because it's a Wednesday. She's actually very sensible.

58:41She looked a bit on the piss when she was here, when she turned up to say g'day.

58:45Keyzie:Oh, her ears, eh? She looked nervous to me, actually. She looked awkward when she was speaking to you about tonight. She was wringing her hands. Yeah, it was just... Guys, look, it's the end of the show. Can we save the content for tomorrow, please? Yeah, no worries. Jase, what are you doing tonight, man? I'm going to walk home. Listen to Eckhart on my way home. Don't get smacked over, man, please. Oh, well, it's going to happen eventually. You know what I mean? You've got one of those faces, eh? I've got a punchable face. I really do. But listen, you take care out there. Check out the Instagram.

59:15Keyzie:Check out the podcast. Till tomorrow, we'll see you later.