FULL SHOW: Pork Mince Party

9:52Mike Minogue:Oh, do you think old Mogi's old lady might have an affair?

9:55Keyzie:Well, no, just that there might be a young guy there. Well, you know, same age guy there who's like, I always love you, man. I can't believe it was like as low as a match, man.

10:10Mike Minogue:Yeah. I mean, I love, well, it's paranormal as much as the next guy, but, you know, I still can't believe it. I can't believe we've talked back to the Guinness season. God, I love the big show. Yeah. I love Keezy. So that's what you're worried about.

10:24Keyzie:No, it just occurred to me as he was speaking, because, you know, they're all good mates from way back, and you know how incestuous that sort of stuff gets with your groups of friends? No, not my group. I guess the other thing is it needs to be considered from the stag point of view and the stag do point of view. What do you think about this? Is there potential that the stag might not be as full on as it otherwise could be because of the presence of my wife? Do men act differently if there is a stunningly beautiful woman present?

10:52Mike Minogue:Fair point, man, fair point. 100%. Like the staggy that I went to a few weeks back found. Do you remember that, do you? Bits and pieces. But to be honest, if like one of the guys, it depends who it was. If I didn't know her from a bar of soap, I personally wouldn't care. Right. But dudes do act differently around women. And to be honest, on a staggy, you just want to be able to go full stupid idiot.

11:16Keyzie:Yeah. And you make a good point. She is a stunningly beautiful woman. Yeah. Well, I've just got a text come through here on 3483. Just Googled Mogi's wife. You're effed, mate. Yeah.

11:32Mike Minogue:Someone suggesting on 3483 that you could go to the hen's party. Now we're talking. You could do the old switcheroo. Oh, but then they have the, oh, yeah, that'd be great because they have those penis straws, eh? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Jase, what would you do in this situation, man? What would Hoity J do?

11:51Keyzie:Do you want my honest answer? Yeah, okay. I would say absolutely, darling. Of course, do it. to be clear she's not asking my permission she's not insane but you know if that were the case you know how do you feel about that go for it whilst secretly praying she says oh I'm not into it oh yeah

12:12Mike Minogue:right okay you wouldn't like tell her your feelings

12:15Keyzie:well I think genuinely I'd feel very uncomfortable not because I don't trust my wife but her being around 16 pissed up dudes she'd feel uncomfortable

12:24Mike Minogue:yeah that's a good point alright so that's what Jase would do What would Casey do?

12:33Mike Minogue:Forgot about those things. I'd probably have a chat with my wife and be like, it also depends because if she's like best friends with these people, I'd say I'm not going to go, you go. While secretly being like, oh, I hope she has a good time and they're not too big of animals, so to speak. But I'd also have a yarn with her and be like, you're going to the hen still, you know what I mean? Why don't you just let me and the fellas go and subtly suggest. Well, the thing about Liz is that I can't go. Yeah, right. So I'm not going to be there regardless. This isn't about I want to go and I don't want her to go.

13:06I can't go.

13:07Keyzie:Right. Oh, this is just getting worse and worse. Oh, yeah, I reckon. Because she is a stunningly beautiful woman.

13:16Mike Minogue:The Hauraki Big Show with Jace, Mike and Keezy. Tune in weekdays at four on Radio Hauraki.

13:22Keyzie:Jeez, that takes me back, fellas, that song. Where to? My heyday. Heyday. So good. Radiohead fake plastic trees. Sad news today, fellas, wasn't there? Yeah, there was, eh, Moogie? There really was. Graham Bell. I think he was a former superintendent or detective at the very least. Oh, not the guy that invented the phone? No, that's Alexander Graham Bell. Oh, okay. And he also hosted Police 10-7. and one of the great voices, one of the great presenters, if you saw him, you would have seen him present this show. Yes. He's really a part of the fabric of New Zealand television, a Kiwi television icon.

14:04God, if there was ever a guy on the planet who looked more like a New Zealand detective, I'd like to see that guy. This guy had cop written all over him and pretty famous for his turns of phrase that he would use on the show, which ultimately is what got him, Well, they had to sort of change the approach to the show because the idea of referring to suspects as scumbags.

14:28Mike Minogue:Yeah. You got any examples there, Keatsy? His colourful descriptors included morons, scumbags, murderous thugs, mindless lowlives and gutless goons, and he once referred to an offender as a lunatic scumbag with a steak knife. That's good stuff. And that did become part of New Zealand pop culture, really. It really did.

14:45Keyzie:Well, I mean, you know, as a person that does do voiceovers for that kind of reality genre, he was an inspiration to me. You know what I'm saying? His no-nonsense approach.

14:56Mike Minogue:Yes. Well, he didn't just do voiceovers, Jase. He fronted it.

15:00Keyzie:Oh, that's right. Yeah. I mean, I'll never get that big, Kesey, that I'm fronting a show.

15:05Mike Minogue:You know, because, for example, Dog Squirrel, which I know you're alluding to, which is kind of like a spin-off, I guess, riding the coattails of Police 10-7.

15:12Keyzie:In fact, I think my phrase, but then drama, a gang of youths, was stolen directly from him. Really? Oh, really? Yeah. Far out. That does sound right, actually. I can imagine that coming out of his mouth. Yes.

15:29Mike Minogue:It's funny that you're admitting it now that you know that he's not going to come after you. But here is a little compilation of some of Graham Bell's finest work. Police 10-7, we're looking for your help to find a group of murderous thugs, two young creeps, a halfwit with a gun, a false beard and a turban, a mindless lowlife, two vicious morons, two armed and violent mongrels, three stooges, three desperate and wild-eyed gutless goons, three vicious apes, two fat women and a man with a gun, this scruffy little thug, this little germ, lunatic scumbag with a steak knife. I'll be looking for more help from you later on.

16:09Mike Minogue:That's good watching, that is, eh? Wow.

16:15Mike Minogue:I watched a lot of it back in the day. Oh, it was great. It was absolutely compulsory viewing.

16:20Keyzie:With a turban? I mean, come on, fellas. Fellas?

16:25Mike Minogue:What? The Hauraki Big Show. Weekdays from four on Radio Hauraki.

16:31Keyzie:Metallica there on the Radio Hauraki Big Show this Wednesday afternoon. I know, what a glorious afternoon it is here in Auckland City. But right now it's time for some TV chat. What's on the telly with Mike Minogue?

16:50Keyzie:Yes. Yes. Yes. Yeah. I didn't watch anything last night, fellas. I was reading like a backbone. What did you watch, Jase? Stuffing your face with popcorn and beer by the sounds of it. Probably. I watched a film last night called Steve. Steve. Why are you saying it? It's about jobs. No, it's... Oh, that one. Yeah, Cillian Murphy. Cillian Murphy, Tracy Ullman, who used to be the old comedian back in the day. Yeah. But it's a very serious story. And it's sort of shot in doco kind of style because there's a film crew and Cillian Murphy's character runs a school for very, very troubled youths. That's right.

17:39Keyzie:But he also has his own mental health issues and rampant alcoholism. Oh, yeah.

17:44Mike Minogue:What's his character's name? I can't remember. Oh, Steve. And the school looks after troubled what?

17:53Keyzie:Youths. and the story is that a sort of documentary crew comes in to sort of film what the school's about etc etc all sorts of dramas are going on as there always are in this school because these youths, they're out of control they are out of control, they just need a steady hand and someone to believe in them man and it just might be that Steve is the man for the job despite his own personal problems and as you say Jo's, rampant alcoholism Yeah, well, look, he falls down in some areas. He's got a good heart. He's not perfect. Who is? He's certainly not perfect. Look, it was okay. Yeah. It was a kind of bit depressing.

18:35Yeah, that's what it struck me as.

18:37Keyzie:And, you know, I watched it all the way to the end, and I went, okay.

18:44Mike Minogue:So where did you watch it? How many buzzies out of five? Netflix. Right. Two and a half buzzies. Wow. Not even a recommend. It was a passion project for Cillian Murphy. Was it? It was, yeah. And shot over the course of a single day at the school, if I'm not mistaken. Was it? Okay. Yeah. That makes sense. Well, no, no. In the film. In the film timeline. The timeline is one day. The timeline is 24 hours. Oh, wow. Last night, Pugs and I went to a PlayStation event. There's a new game out called Ghost of Yotei, right? Which is set in Japan and Hokkaido up north. and it was heavily influenced by classic Japanese samurai flicks and things like that from the 70s.

19:25Mike Minogue:So we went to this event and Pugs and I watched a movie from 1973 called Lady Snowblood, which it turns out Quentin Tarantino directly pretty much ripped off everything for Kill Bill. This movie from the 70s is about a lady who gets vengeance and it's really visceral and violent and the blood splatter is almost comical. Yeah. and even the way it cuts to certain shots and there's loud music playing and just all those Tarantino things were 100 % from this movie and others of that genre. Really interesting watching, we're at the Academy Cinema, Jase, which is an old cinema here in Auckland. Yes. And it was interesting watching not only a movie that is over 50 years old, but one that was in another language that I would probably never have watched at the cinema, eating popcorn, eating ice cream.

20:11Mike Minogue:Yeah. The film was fine. The effects are pretty old and rugged.

20:16Keyzie:Pug said it turned him on, the film.

20:18Mike Minogue:You know what Pug-san's like? Yeah. Especially with Japanese stuff. But I did thoroughly enjoy it. I could look past the bad effects and the things you're used to nowadays. And I give it a solid four buzies out of five. Well, that's bloody great. Because I was entertained throughout the whole thing. Yeah, good. Yeah, it was cool. It was a cool experience. Yeah.

20:36Keyzie:Well, the Academy's a great little cinema, actually. All the old classics they play.

20:40Mike Minogue:Yeah. And if you want to see it, if you're a Kill Bill fan, Tarantino fan, It's called Lady Snowblood. Watch it and then watch Kill Bill.

20:47Keyzie:Hey, now listen, coming up after 5 o 'clock, Keezy has some dinner party conundrums.

20:53Mike Minogue:Yeah, that's true actually.

20:55Keyzie:And I, true story, nearly died today. What?

21:01Mike Minogue:The Hauraki Big Show with Jase, Mike and Keezy. Tune in weekdays at 4 on Radio Hauraki.

21:07Keyzie:Welcome back, you massive backbones. Hope you're surviving your hump day. You're listening to The Big Show, brought to you by Reburger.

21:15Mike Minogue:Beef, chicken, vegan and vegetarian options too. Reburger are redefining the norm. And if I could just direct your attention to this next slide,

21:25Keyzie:you'll see that Reburger is serving both good times and good food. And that's whether or not you dine in or take away Reburger today. And if you just look at this next slide, you'll see that it's... Yeah!

21:47Mike Minogue:It reminded me of, is it Chef off South Park? Similar voice, that guy.

21:53Keyzie:Yes, actually, yes, it does. I was trying to think what it reminded me of. God, what a beautiful day, fellas. You know, we were talking about how spring sucks yesterday. I take it back. And I had so many people coming up to me today and giving me hugs and stuff and saying, Hoi Dijay, your chat yesterday sparked spring into action. Thank you, man. Kia kaha. I think you keep forgetting that spring now starts next Friday, October the 17th. It starts when we say it starts, Ogi. Yeah, that's right. The big show is spring, which now starts October 17th.

22:29Mike Minogue:So which is the Friday, which is when we fly to Fiji. How good. So the day spring starts. Yeah. I think we're going to see an immediate improvement in the weather. Well, we are, of course. But the yearly trip should become a thing. That's a good idea. That we go on a holiday. Maybe like two, three, four, five weeks long. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Jase, you can hold down the fort. Jase, you stay and do a show with Pugs just because of your leave situation, obviously. Yeah, sure, man.

22:53Keyzie:No worries. It sounds good. I'm busy at the moment trying to select shorts for Fiji. I haven't worn shorts for a while.

23:01Mike Minogue:What are you thinking?

23:02Keyzie:Can you wear slacks? I've got some slacks. I've actually got some decent shorts. Oh, yeah. I've got probably about four pair.

23:10Mike Minogue:Have you got any boardies? I mean, I never wear them. Boardies? Boardies, yeah.

23:13Keyzie:I've got kind of, you know, they're pretty cool. And I've got your sort of denim cut-offs. Oh, hot. Your daisy jukes. Your daisy jukes.

23:21Mike Minogue:Yeah, because that's what everyone in Fiji wears.

23:22Keyzie:Yeah, totally. Hey, coming up, Keezy's got a dinner dilemma. But in the meantime, here's you two.

23:29Mike Minogue:The Hauraki Big Show. weekdays from four on Radio Hodaaki.

23:33Keyzie:The Colt there on the Radio Hodaaki big show this Wednesday afternoon, the time 5.13.

23:38Mike Minogue:Fellas, this weekend's Saturday night. Saturday evening. We're hosting a dinner party. Me and you? Oh, I'm busy, man. Oh, nah. Nah, nah, nah, not you guys. Some friends of ours. Oh, yeah. It's a group of people. My wife used to actually work with them, became quite good friends with them, and now we sort of take turns at hosting dinner parties. We are the poorest of the group, so we are the last to host a dinner party. Right. They've got beautiful houses, outdoor areas and stuff like that. We don't have that. Yours is terrible. Ours is. It's a shocker. Well, I wouldn't.

24:16Keyzie:There's like wild coyotes and stuff running around.

24:19Mike Minogue:They're not coyotes, they're hyenas.

24:21Keyzie:Eating diapers out of the bin and that.

24:24Mike Minogue:Yeah. Helicopters overhead. That is 100 % true.

24:28Keyzie:Actually, that happened to me last night, but anyway.

24:31Mike Minogue:But basically how it works is we go round to the house and they seem to do this thing where they've got a special cocktail for everyone. So one was Aperol Spritz, I think it was. Was that a special cocktail? It was for me. I don't drink cocktails. So it was like, oh, this is nice. I can't remember what the other one was, but they always have, I think, espresso martinis and things like that. Yes. And so not only do we have to host this dinner party, there'll be six of us, make a delicious main salad. We also have to come up with a cocktail to pair with it.

24:59Keyzie:Right.

24:59Mike Minogue:And we just struggle because we have to really wow these people, you know.

25:02Keyzie:Yeah, yeah.

25:03Mike Minogue:Because we're the poorest of the group.

25:04Keyzie:Yes.

25:05Mike Minogue:And it's important that we show that we're rich where it counts.

25:07Keyzie:And what kind of cocktail goes with pork mince?

25:13Mike Minogue:We don't have to make a dish using pork mince. Obviously, I'd love to. All you can eat pork mince. That's what I'd have at the door. Everybody gets a big spoon and they're just going at it. Like a trough at the door. Yeah, like a trough. Classy trough. Right, classy trough. Yeah. Well, I mean, that's a really good idea, Mike and Jase. Because eating pork mints, it's very salty and it makes you thirsty. So then you can suck on your cocktail there. Yeah, and that's a great suggestion. Thank you. I've noted that. I'd prefer not to just be like, and also I'd traditionally put like some hoisting sauce or something on the pork mints.

25:51Mike Minogue:Yeah, yeah, yeah. Try and cover the flavour. No, no.

25:56Keyzie:Because it's a cheap meat. It's very reasonably priced. Very cheap.

26:01Mike Minogue:Once again, we're the poorest of the group.

26:03Keyzie:Seriously, off the top of my head, Keezy, the only thing cocktail-wise I'm thinking with the pork mints is your throbbing orgasm.

26:12Mike Minogue:Isn't that a shot? No, it's a cocktail. Right, okay. Once again, I don't just want to do pork mints. I feel like I'm being typecast as that guy that eats only pork mints. But we could make other stuff. you know, we could do some bowel buns. No, you should offer everyone a roaring orgasm. Wasn't that the same as that one that he just said? No, a throbbing orgasm's quite different. A roaring orgasm's not a drink. Oh.

26:44Keyzie:So what are you actually cooking as your main?

26:46Mike Minogue:Well, I don't know. So far I've got a trough of pork mince at the door. That's what I've got so far.

26:51Keyzie:Well, you must have some more ideas, man. What do you got? Well, I think, Kesey, you've got to be true to yourself. Yes. So a bit of pork mints and just a few beersies. Don't fall into this, oh, I've got to be fancy as, because they're all fancy as. Yeah, because you'll look fake. They'll see right through that. Totally. You know, wealthy people like Jase know a peasant a mile away. Totally. A pauper. Well, you can usually smell them, can't you?

27:18Mike Minogue:Well, I don't smell that bad, do I?

27:20Keyzie:But, you know, have your little – have pork mints on toast and beersies at Keezy's. And maybe a port because you like your port, don't you, mate? And I was going to say, finish off with a little small glass of port and have a bit of a gaming session at the end of it. Just order in some Ree burger, man.

27:36Mike Minogue:Right. Thank you. That's really helpful. Yeah. It's tricky, man. It's a tricky situation because these people have got taste. Yeah. Like they are loaded. Yeah. You know what I mean?

27:51Keyzie:Oh, I know what they mean. Yeah, totally.

27:53Mike Minogue:Might do a frozen pizza as well.

27:55Keyzie:Oh, yes.

27:57Mike Minogue:Oasis? The Hauraki Big Show. Weekdays from four on Radio Hauraki.

28:02Keyzie:Queens of the Stone Age there on the Radio Hauraki Big Show this Wednesday afternoon. Fellas, I talked about the fact that today I felt massive gratitude. And the reason that I felt that was because I nearly died today. True story.

28:17Mike Minogue:Really?

28:19Keyzie:I was having a shower.

28:25Keyzie:You know, and I turned the shower on there. Took my clothes off. Generally my top half first.

28:33Mike Minogue:See, I do it the other way. I do bottom half. Do you do your pants first? Yeah, and undies.

28:37Keyzie:Yeah.

28:38Mike Minogue:And then I'll take my jacket and my T-shirt off.

28:40Keyzie:Often I'll take my socks off first. Oh, yeah. And then my pants and my undies. I don't know if you guys do this, but I, when I'm naked, I sometimes give myself a bit of a look over.

28:57Mike Minogue:A once over? Yeah. In a mirror?

28:59Keyzie:Yeah, and then the mirror there. Man, look. I do the turn around and look over my shoulder to the mirror.

29:08Mike Minogue:Yeah.

29:08Keyzie:Checking out my ass.

29:09Mike Minogue:Hang on, that's my move. It's like Montgomery Burns.

29:12Keyzie:Yeah. And I got on the shower and it was like, I don't know if you guys ever do this, but I didn't check the temp properly before I got in there. No, I'd never do that. And just sort of leapt and it was burning hot. Oh, oh, oh, oh, turned it down a bit. And my wife for my birthday bought me some beautiful soap, liquid soap, sort of coconut and sandalwood. Because you didn't use soap before that, eh? Nah. And just started sort of smearing that over my chest. Oh, yeah. Sort of dribbles down into your pubes. My pubes? No, not your pubes. You don't have any pubes. Yours has been all lasered off. Yeah, I know.

29:54Keyzie:Smooth bastard. Don't have to tell me. And actually, when they go in the pubes, I always give them a bit of a, you know, a bit of a... What? Well, you know, like you do in your hair.

30:04Mike Minogue:Like scrubbing.

30:04Keyzie:Yeah, a bit of a scrub. Yeah, a bit of a scrub. Anyway, true story. I was washing my face and heard this massive bang! And I was like, what the f*** was that? Yeah. And I don't know if I've told you guys this, but when we got our en suite put in, we went, let's go fancy pants and have a glass shower as opposed to your cheap plastics. You know what I mean?

30:32Mike Minogue:Oh, rich guy. Man, look at this guy.

30:34Keyzie:It's like a glass box. You can see right into it. And what had happened was one of the panels above me and it's a heavy bastard, had become unclipped from the little clips that put it on top of the bath there and it snapped off and just swung down, missing my head and I lie not by maybe two inches. Oh, yeah. And it is a heavy, heavy piece of glass.

31:07Mike Minogue:Wow, so if I was in the shower, it would have hit me in the chest. It would have collected you.

31:11Keyzie:I was only glad that I wasn't facing towards that direction, you know what I mean? Totally. Because it would have taken something off. Yeah. And not my snozz. And seriously, it is a heavy, heavy bastard. It would weigh a stone. Wow.

31:30Mike Minogue:What size stone? Oh, like the really archaic. The old metric. Yeah, the old metrics there. Yeah, the old measurement of...

31:37Keyzie:And I just stood in the shower going, what the... Did your wife have to pick it up for you? Yeah, she did, because it was too heavy for me, Mogi. And then she saw old Hoere Jail suds up. And she was like,

31:56Mike Minogue:The Hauraki Big Show. Weekdays from four on Radio Hauraki.

32:01Keyzie:Stone Temple Pilots here on the Radio Hauraki Big Show this Wednesday afternoon. The time is 5.38. Now, fellas, Keezy was talking about his dinner dilemma over the weekend just at the top of the five hour. I've also got a dilemma that I can't get my head around and I need your help with.

32:18Mike Minogue:Is there something that's been bugging you or do you have a bone to pick? Yeah, it does bug me. Oh, it does? It's been bugging me.

32:27Keyzie:And I guess because I can't really get my head around it. I can't understand why it is. Duh. As you know, I've got a teenage daughter And my wife and I have got into walking lately. Do a lot of walking. We started Asian walking, by the way. I'll talk about that another day, but it's a bloody great way to burn the carbs. Racism alert. No, it's not right. Racism alert. It is an exercise regime, GZ Asian walking. I didn't fire that off.

32:58Mike Minogue:It goes off automatically.

33:00Keyzie:No, but the dilemma that I have is that I've got a teenage daughter and we say to her, she's like, I'm really bored. And it's like, well, your mother and I are about to go for a walk. Would you like to join us? And she always says, no thanks. And I'm like, why not? You're really bored and you don't know what to do. Your mum and I are going for a walk, possibly an Asian walk. You could join us. Racism alert. Racism alert. But she's never keen, Moggy. That's because there's an audit of things. and on the spectrum there, there's bored and then even more boring than being bored is going for a walk.

33:40So that is worse. It feels like you are doing something, and technically you are, but it's more boring and sucks harder than just being bored and doing nothing.

33:50Mike Minogue:Yeah, that sucks hard, Jase. It's the equivalent of when you're a kid and you go, oh, man, I'm so hungry, and they go, oh, there's fruit in the fruit bowl or there's water in the tap. That's what you're doing. is come for a walk with me and your mother. Obviously, they don't want that.

34:04Keyzie:Are you serious? Are you serious? I'm totally serious. Last time you talked about... You haven't liked walking. You've only liked walking for about a month.

34:12Mike Minogue:Gee, now he's Mr. Walking. But last time you talked about going for walks, you said you went for a walk in a big cemetery.

34:19Keyzie:Yeah, we go in the Waikumeti Cemetery, the biggest in the southern hemisphere. It's not true. Did you say that to her? I said, look, and this is the thing, she's kind of gothy. and I said we're going to go for a walk in the cemetery. You'll love that shit. Goths don't go for walks in cemeteries. They go and sit on graves in cemeteries and get pissed.

34:38Mike Minogue:You could try that. Right. The other thing you could try to do is like, because it's not, like you just, it doesn't matter how cool your parents are and you're a cool parent. Oh, don't get me wrong. Don't get me wrong. But it doesn't matter who you are, your kids think you're a bit lame, right? So I think what you have to do is just try and get down to her level. You know what I mean? Like start dressing a bit more goth, maybe hat backwards. A bit of bling maybe? No, see that? No, that's the wrong note. You're trying too hard, man. Hat backwards.

35:07Keyzie:But stuff like, hey, do you want to go for a walk and shit? So like when I'm talking, because she's only a little bit smaller than me. Yeah. She must be tiny. So like squat down. Well, let me put it to you this way. Take your mind back to teenage Keezy or young Keezy. Right. And, you know, you've got your nebuliser there. What can I say to young Keezy, who's a bit puffed before we even start, you know, to convince you to come with me, Keezy? I see, yeah, my parents really, I remember them educating me,

35:39Mike Minogue:saying if any weird men come up to you and say come with me to a graveyard.

35:42Keyzie:Imagining I was your daddy.

35:46Mike Minogue:I can see why she doesn't want to go. I reckon if you went up to her, you know, you had your skateboard underneath your arm, You know? Yeah, yeah, yeah. I've got a surfboard. A surfboard, that'll do it. Hat backwards, speed dealers on. Like that episode of The Simpsons where Homer voices that dog, the cool dog on TV. Oh, yeah. Yeah, yeah, poochie. That's who you are, you're poochie. So it'll be like poochie. And don't say you want to come for a walk with your old man. Like, hey, man, do you want to go chill at the cemetery? With old hoity Jay.

36:18Keyzie:And mum.

36:19Mike Minogue:Oh, and your mother will be. And mum as well. The Hauraki Big Show with Jace, Mike and Kesey. Tune in weekdays at four on Radio Hauraki.

36:29Keyzie:Incubus there on the Radio Hauraki Big Show this Wednesday afternoon. Now, fellas, great news. The Wild Food Festival is coming back next year.

36:39Mike Minogue:That's right. It's happening in March, down in beautiful Hokka Tika as always. Jace, you didn't get to come with us last time, man. No. That's right. You were using up all of your leave in March. Yeah, went to Vietnam for ages.

36:51Keyzie:Some pretty wild food over there, fellas. Did you eat balls?

36:57Mike Minogue:Maybe. No, like for dinner.

36:59Keyzie:Oh, fish balls, I think we had fish balls.

37:02Mike Minogue:Do fish have balls? They make fish balls over in Vietnam. Yeah, yeah. They put them in soup and stuff. Yeah, yummy. Yeah, fish don't have testicles. Oh, they don't? No, I don't think you'll see a fish swimming around with a big couple of knackers swinging about, you know? Yeah, right. But I'm no marine biologist, Mogi.

37:17Keyzie:No, neither am I. Yes, but I was gutted to miss that, genuinely. wouldn't they? Sounded like a lot of fun.

37:22Mike Minogue:It's coming back March next year and the big show, Fellas, are going to be flying to Christchurch and then hopping on the Transalpine train through the Alps to the beautiful West Coast. I'm really excited about that. I've never been on that train. I have. And if not for this opportunity, I never would. Yes. It's bloody great. It's really good. The Transalpine, my parents have done it and they said it was bloody magnificent. It's very cool. Bloody magnificent, Chris. Bloody magnificent, Christopher. Thanks for asking. And I said, oh, that's good to know, Mum. Can you get your own carriage? Yep.

37:53Mike Minogue:Oh, cheers, man.

37:54Keyzie:I think we could get our own carriage. Yeah, from memory, they're all pretty big carriages, but yeah, maybe. How long does the trip take? Not sure, maybe seven hours, eight hours? Oh!

38:04Mike Minogue:Quite a big trip. I've just pulled that out of my ass. About two. Boo, BS, it is two hours. It is two hours. Is that right? That's not very long at all. That sounds doable, man, because the flight is about one hour. Yes. So two hours on a train, that's interesting. Yeah. Will you come with us, Jase, or do you prefer it in the caboose? That sounds so dirty. Yeah, it really is. Just a little train joke there. If you want to get some tickets, head to wildfoods.co.nz. Tickets are available. Or if you and a mate are keen to jump on this epic mission with us, head to hodaki.co.nz and join the competition there.

38:40Takes five hours. About five hours, Keezy. Oh, wow. Return. Return. No, one way. It is one way. Okay. I'm excited for that. It's going to be a ripper. It's a great event. And having a trip along with it is going to be bloody beautiful, mate. You love trains, eh? I'm a big fan.

39:03Mike Minogue:The Hauraki Big Show with Jase, Mike and Keezy. Tune in weekdays at four on Radio Hauraki.

39:09Keyzie:Welcome back, you massive backbones. You're listening to The Big Show brought to you by Ree Burger.

39:13Mike Minogue:Handcrafted burgers, loaded fries and gourmet eats, that'll change the game. I just don't think I'll be eating anything so delicious. That was kind of really street food. They had beef, they had chicken, they had bacon and vegetarian options. And that was Reburger. And it was so yum. Just on Reburger, fellas, they've got their new masala chicken range, which includes the Masala Tender Box, Butter Chicken Burger, Desi Dynamite Burger or Butter Chicken Loaded Fries.

39:47Keyzie:I'll be honest, you know, when burger joints sometimes get a bit fancy on it and they tutu too much, it can really get deep inside my goat. But I have to say the Reburger ones, I have the Butter Chicken Burger.

40:01Mike Minogue:That's right.

40:02Keyzie:It was sensationally good. You like that? I did like it. Did you enjoy it, Mike? Well, I only sort of pulled the chicken out of half of Jace's because he left it on the table after my one got stolen because they're so delicious that you can't leave them alone and save them for later because people will see them and think that nobody wants them and then they eat them.

40:19Mike Minogue:But did you like the beat you had? Yeah. That's good. They're available now at Rebeg. You should go and check them out. Yeah, good stuff. Guys, this is a tune, The Hives, man.

40:28Keyzie:Doosh, doosh, doosh, doosh. Funnily enough, I was listening to their album today on my stereo system. You're joking.

40:35Mike Minogue:Jase, that is hilarious. I didn't like it. Oh. The Hauraki Big Show with Jase, Mike and Keezy. Tune in weekdays at four on Radio Hauraki.

40:44Keyzie:She-heart there on the Radio Hauraki Big Show this Wednesday evening. You know, fellas, I'm looking outside at the moment on this beautiful spring evening, and I'm thinking to myself, God, it'll be the perfect night to propose to the one you love. Oh.

41:00Mike Minogue:Oh, it's proposal season, eh?

41:01Keyzie:It kind of is, apparently. Spring and summer.

41:04Mike Minogue:It's also the wet season, Mike. It's the wet season. and we've got until the 17th of October. So officially, the big show spring hasn't started yet, Jase. It's October 17th.

41:13Keyzie:Yeah, yeah, yeah. Right, okay. But I'm just talking about today specifically. It's so beautiful out there. Yeah, we call it a beautiful spring day, and I'm just saying. Yeah, yeah. It's still winter. Yeah, sorry, man. Sorry, fellas, I've got ahead of myself.

41:25Mike Minogue:But it's proposal season, though, right? Yeah, it is proposal season. Definitely proposal season. And when does proposal season start? It's not rugby league season.

41:32Keyzie:No. It's finished now.

41:33Mike Minogue:And it goes into proposal season.

41:34Keyzie:It's funny you should say it's proposal season. and I went to TVNZ today with a proposal.

41:38Mike Minogue:What did they say?

41:39Keyzie:Nah. Was that your, was it your brothel tour one? Yeah, yeah.

41:45Mike Minogue:You wrote a proposal for that? Yeah, yeah. Hoidi Joan, the brothel of doom? Was that what it was called? Yes, it was, yes. And they weren't keen. Well, let's just say I'm waiting for their response.

41:59Keyzie:There was a bit of interest there.

42:00Mike Minogue:Yeah. Yeah, right, okay. Because they certainly hadn't heard of that idea before. No, we certainly hadn't. and I couldn't really picture it either. But I reckon NZ On Air would be keen to fund it. Totally, man. Actually, you know who would be keen to fund it is Diamonds on Richmond. Have you heard of them?

42:15Keyzie:I have heard of them, yeah.

42:17Mike Minogue:Yeah, yeah, yeah.

42:17Keyzie:I'm not sure that they would really want to be tied into this particular program. Well, this would be an idea, right? So you've got Hoidi Jisbot in the Basel of Doom. And now you imagine that the, because the thing is with him, and let's be honest, it's an Indiana Jones ripoff. Yeah. He's always after some kind of a treasure. Now, obviously, in this case, you make the treasure this$8 ,000 engagement ring. The person that's trying to make it through all of the different themed rooms in the brothel is somebody that wants to propose to their partner. Now, Jase, you never did a proper proposal, so let's say it is Hoity J.

42:52And you go through all of these rooms and there's all of these different challenges and ultimately you manage to get the$8 ,000 ring. Well, that's next time around. This time around, it's a lot easier, Keezy.

43:02Keyzie:Can I just say re my proposal? Yeah. I just want to remind you, fellas, that 95 % of the show is good, wholesome TV sort of community stuff. It's only the last five minutes that it's the brothel stuff. Yeah, yeah. You know what I mean? I just thought it was important to reiterate that.

43:21Mike Minogue:Diamonds on Richmond. Actually, Pugs, can you clip this off and send it to Diamonds on Richmond? They'll be stoked. Oh, they'll be thrilled. They'll be thrilled. They have got an$8 ,000 diamond engagement ring to give away, and if you know someone, or maybe it's you, Someone that needs to bend the knee has been waiting a long time and should probably get on with it. Head to hodaki.co.nz. Register yourself there. We'll send out a special hodaki knee pad, which will help drop the hint.

43:42Keyzie:Nudge pad, I think they're cool. A nudge pad. Yeah, yeah.

43:44Mike Minogue:Yeah, yeah. I'll tell you what, though, Keezy. What's up? It's got to be a massive deterrent, doesn't it, having to get an engagement ring. You go, oh, I'd love to propose, but, oh, God, how much are we spending on engagement rings these days? Five grand? Eight grand? Yeah, it's hard. It would put you off, right? There's a lot of pressures on. But if you win this ring.

44:06Keyzie:Happy days, man. Happy days. Yeah, I mean, I didn't even do an engagement ring, as you know. Didn't you? No. What? No, straight to it. Well, this is the thing, Jase. It feels like you should be doing something about this, man. I mean, I got a wedding ring from the warehouse.

44:20Mike Minogue:But you shouldn't go to the warehouse. You should go to Diamonds on Richmond, the engagement ring specialists. Don't forget hodaki.co.nz. Get yourself in the draw for that eight grand diamond engagement ring. and if you head to DOR and say Radio Hauraki sent you, they'll chuck in a complimentary pair of diamond earrings. Oh.

44:37Keyzie:Is that a new development?

44:39Mike Minogue:That's a new development with every engagement ring purchased in October. Do it. Beautiful. The Killers. Killers. The Hauraki Big Show with Jace, Mike and Keezy. Tune in weekdays at four on Radio Hauraki.

44:52Keyzie:T-Rex there on the Radio Hauraki Big Show this Wednesday evening. Let's give out some advice.

45:03Mike Minogue:at gmail.com get in touch with the fellas oh sorry man the hell man that's yours sorry man yeah um hey it's a real email address meetpattynip69 at gmail.com you can reach out for advice at any time 100 % anonymous and you can get your$50 re-burger voucher if we read it out this is an interesting one fellas came across my desk this morning. Do you have a desk? Nah.

45:32Keyzie:Actually, that's a good point. Just before you get into it, Keezy, I'm sorry. I come in here to do prep for the show. Do I have a desk? No.

45:40Mike Minogue:Do you have a bitch and moan? Yes. Yes. But no, do you want a desk? I want a desk.

45:46Keyzie:You got one in front of you, man. No, but I want one with a computer and shit on it. No, you want one with a computer and shit on it. It doesn't need to be plugged in.

45:52Mike Minogue:Yeah, you want one with a typewriter on it. Preferably an Olivetti. It's not an Olivetti. That's not even what it is. Anyway, here's a nice message that came through, fellas. It's not exactly advice related. I thought it was interesting nonetheless.

46:08Keyzie:Okay.

46:09Mike Minogue:Kia ora, guys. Just wanted to share something. I'm not doing well at the moment. I'm a teacher by trade. My last two jobs, I've been working in schools with kids who are badly traumatised. And my last job was an advisor to one of the bosses in the Ministry of Education. It's not that we were doing God's work in that job, but it was made a lot harder when the government cut jobs and I ended up doing the job of three people. Yeah. Very common nowadays. Yes. Anyway, I'm super burnt out, reasonably depressed and a bit lost really wondering what to do next. Funnily enough, I'd love to do a podcast but even though I've been quite good at my jobs, I have no self-belief.

46:40Mike Minogue:Yeah. Anyway, that's not the point. You guys are the only art form that I can take in and it's just guaranteed that I will feel better. Not only that, I'll be bloody grinning my head off or giving out a big wheezy laugh including on a recent flight back from Bali where the dudes next to me thought I was insane. You guys are funny and great, but I hope you know that you're working at a peak performance level and you're just so in the zone with each other and it's obvious you're having a good time. Very conscious you might take the piss out of this, but I'm writing this getting a wee bit teary because apart from my two wonderful kids that I'm worried I'm being a bit grumpy of an arsehole with at the moment, you're the main thing that makes me happy.

47:15Mike Minogue:Just wanted to tell you I really appreciate that. Cheers. There you go. Anonymous.

47:21Keyzie:Yeah, man. Well, let me just say, first and foremost, everything passes. All right? You're going through a bit of a rough patch at the moment. Yeah. Everything passes. That's the one certainty in life. So where you are right now is not going to be where you are maybe tomorrow. So just give yourself a bit of space, a bit of time to just work through some stuff. Yes.

47:44Mike Minogue:Go easy on yourself too, man. Yeah, totally. Go easy on yourself.

47:47Keyzie:Have a couple of durries. No, don't. And I'd say take care of yourself. Yeah. So if you're in a place of employment where they are taking the piss out of you and now you're super burnt out, but it's important work, like dealing with kids is in the first place, or particularly kids that have suffered trauma, you've actually got to look after yourself first. So don't be afraid to walk away and do another job and maybe you can go back to that job later. but you've also got a responsibility to yourself and also to your kids. I've had a really stressful year as well, not really realising that I was super stressed out, but having come out the other side of it going, oh, shit, actually, I was really stressed out, and realising that, oh, actually, I was grumpy, and all of these things were going on, which I wasn't really aware of at the time.

48:39And had I have been, I would have wanted to do something about it. I mean, I'm not grumpy like, I'm not Jace-level psycho grumpy. No, yeah. I'm sort of like, you know. Yeah, I know what you're saying. You just want to be, you've got to be kind to yourself to be kind to others. And so if you're carrying this as a heavy load, take a step back, have a yarn to your missus or mister. I don't know. We don't know. Casey, that's the thing.

49:01Mike Minogue:Yeah, right. And nothing wrong with either, let me say that. Well, I totally don't know why you'd say that, yeah. But, yeah, step back, have a yarn with your partner there and work out what you're next to it. So you don't have to keep on doing this, whatever it is. Bloody great stuff. Tell you what,$50 Reburger voucher. That's got to help. Hey, cheers for that email. That's bloody nice. Lovely email. That's really nice. Thank you very much. Meet PaddyNip69 at gmail.com if you ever need advice. The Hauraki Big Show. Weekdays from four on Radio Hauraki.

49:41Keyzie:Well, there you go, you mad bastards. It's the big show, done and dusted. Wednesday, over and done with feelers.

49:48Mike Minogue:Feelers. It's a nice little sign-off today, Jase. It's really nice from you, Jason. Thanks. Thanks, guys. Extra mustard on it, man. I like it. Was there? I like it when you give 110. Thanks, man.

49:57Keyzie:Or 80. Hey, now in the podcast outro today, the only thing I remember about our discussion before the show was you guys just going Pugsans' ridiculous hat. Oh, yeah.

50:10Mike Minogue:Well, we did that for a wee bit, but mostly it was you in a whore of a mood. And here's a clip of the podcast outro, which comes out at 7.30 tonight, and it's entitled Good Mood.

50:20Keyzie:How can you be in a bad mood on a day like this, fellas? That's what I was thinking. I'll tell you how. You get called into work an hour early when you could have been spending this hour outside actually enjoying the sun. Yeah, totally. And that's why I f***ing work in here, man. Yeah. And I always have. Yeah. Fair enough, too, man. Well, the good news was we managed to pull old mogey Mogey out of it, didn't we? Yeah, it could work. No worries, man.

50:46Mike Minogue:You should listen to that podcast, though, if you enjoy the show. It's like us chitty-chatting. Yeah. It's kind of stupid, really. You know what I mean? We just turn the mics on and just talk about nothing. Ten minutes. You get ten minutes. So it's not long. It's not good. It doesn't go on forever. It doesn't bang on forever. We still leave you wanting less, but it doesn't take you up your whole day. Yeah. What are you doing tonight, Mogey? Mate, I've got a movie premiere to go to tonight. It's called Tron Ares or Ares or R's. Very confusing. Tron-arse. It is. Tron-arse. It could be that. And it's got old mate in there, Jared Leto.

51:21Jared Leto. Who's apparently not a massive boar lake in this film. Apparently it's quite funny. He just holds it. He can be divisive, polarizing, Jared Leto. I think he's a talent, but he is a very arrogant son of a bee. And why not? He's a great looking man.

51:39Keyzie:Well, I saw him in something and I was trying to remember it, and I can't, and he was playing an entrepreneur and it annoyed the shit out of me. Yeah, he's got that ability. But anyway, it's on IMAX, so I'm pretty excited to see that and just to get out of the house, you know, for a couple of hours. It'll be too long, I'll hate it, but at least the popcorn will be free.

51:55Mike Minogue:Yeah, that's good. That sounds so good.

51:57Keyzie:Hey, Keezy, I don't care what you're doing tonight, but what's with tea at your house? I'm always intrigued.

52:01Mike Minogue:I actually don't know, but I know that we'll be going for a nice after-dinner walk, though.

52:05Keyzie:Yeah, to help your prostate.

52:06Mike Minogue:Well, that, but also just because now that daylight's saving, we go for our after-dinner walk. It loosens your stool.

52:12Keyzie:Actually, you just reminded me. I said to my wife last night, now, if it's a nice day tomorrow night, we're going for a walk after dinner. Sorry, what? If it's a nice day tomorrow night? Yeah, if it's a nice day tomorrow, we'll go for a walk after dinner.

52:24Mike Minogue:And what'd she say? Okay. She loves it. Oh, that's good, man.

52:29Keyzie:And what am I having for dinner, did you say? No. I have made the best ever lasagna. Really? I heard that you make the best ever lasagna. Is that true, man? Yeah, man. Just another example, eh? CJ, best in the world, eh, number one. Cheesy, with a bit of spicy mince in there, and a nice green salad on the side, Keezy.

52:49Mike Minogue:Thanks, Waisingling Mia.

52:51Keyzie:Because I know that you're really interested. Hey, now listen, go and check out the Instagram account. Go and check out the podcast, because they are worth it, man. In the meantime, have a nice night, and we'll see you tomorrow.

53:02Mike Minogue:Bye. you