FULL SHOW: Potluck Planning

10:00Keyzie:No. You don't get a body like that with old mogi bite. Eight to ten pieces of sushi. Exactly.

10:07Mike Minogue:That is a standard amount of sushi for a growing boy like me. Or smoking darts and drinking coffee. So let's just say, right, we order a pizza. Standard size, like a 12-inch. I'm familiar with that. You don't have a 12-inch penis, Jase.

10:27Keyzie:No the 12 inch pizza No but the way you said

10:30Mike Minogue:I'm familiar with that Was just like I just had to nip it in the bun Okay so a standard 12 inch pizza Yeah

10:36Keyzie:Yes

10:36Mike Minogue:Do you know how big that is

10:37Keyzie:How many pieces Like 10 About 8 8 yeah

10:42Mike Minogue:How many pieces of that Would you eat

10:43Keyzie:2 Oh god Oh it depends Have you got to it first

10:50Mike Minogue:No no We'd have our own Separate one We'd have our own Separate pizzas In fact I insist on that I'd probably be able to get through three pieces and save the rest for lunch tomorrow. Yeah. That's the way to go. I'd save it for lunch tomorrow and dinner that night. Luke, would I want more? Obviously, but by that stage you are full. You don't need it. Yeah.

11:10Keyzie:So I would probably. I mean, literally on my second piece, I'm pushing it down my gullet, sort of spewing a little bit.

11:20Mike Minogue:You're forcing it down. Okay, so I would standard 12-inch pizza with eight pieces. I would have six pieces if I was feeling like I wanted to save two. Otherwise, I'd usually just eat all of it. Yeah, exactly. If you're going to lie, there's no point doing this.

11:37Keyzie:Exactly. There's not a time in your life where you've left two pieces in the box. How dare you, Boggy? I've done it occasionally. I've been at pizza parties with you. Do you remember that time that you guys did one down in Christchurch? Yes. And you thought Kese had gone back to his room and you found him in the toilet and he had taken a whole pizza in there and was just hoovering it? Yes. Was that your rock bottom, Keezy?

11:59Mike Minogue:Nah, that was awesome.

12:03Mike Minogue:Okay, what about this one? So let's just say we get fish and chips. Yes. Right? And I'm phoning up to make the order. What am I getting for you guys? See, Keezy's in control. Yeah, of course he is. Okay, now Keezy's got control.

12:15Keyzie:I'll probably be paying for it.

12:17Mike Minogue:Yeah, sure. Yeah, you're going to part with a dollar, sure, in this fairytale world we're living in. Okay, I'm on the phone to the fish and chip shop. He's whispering in the other room. I'm going to be honest with you. Keezy's getting extra potato fritters. Yes, I bet he is.

12:29Keyzie:He's really had a potato fritter. I would get my standard for F and Cs, a crab stick. No chips. I don't like chips. A crab stick. Unless they're re-burgure chips. Right, of course. I would get a crab stick. One crab stick. Yes. Maybe if I was feeling a little bit out there, And my wife did this the other day, an oyster.

12:52Mike Minogue:Yeah. An oyster from the fish and chip show. It was bloody yummy, actually. So an oyster and a crab stick. Yes. Why don't you get a second oyster and make it something you're usually stuffing in your mouth? Ah, what about you? Okay. You know, I was just going to add this. The Hauraki Big Show with Jace, Mike and Kesey. Tune in weekdays at four on Radio Hauraki.

13:15Keyzie:Soundgarden there on the Radio Hauraki Big Show this Thursday afternoon. and time being 4.38. Fellas, I'm having some issues with my Nissan Tita. 2003. Is it in 03? I thought it was like 2007 or something. It might be. Age is just a number to me, Keezy. Absolutely. It's just a number to me, brother. Sure. Anyway, I've had some issues with it, and I'm trying to sort it out myself because I don't want to take it to a mechanic. I sort of feel like you should be able to fix these things yourself, and I sort of know my way around a motor. Yeah. Always have, Keezy. What motor does it have? But by the process of elimination, I'm not seeing any improvements.

13:55Right, okay. Any improvements. Anyway, I've got a recording here, Keyes. If you can play that.

14:09Mike Minogue:That sounds. Yeah, so the weird thing about that is that's what it sounds like when it's not even running. Like I haven't even turned the ignition on and it's making that noise. Right, okay. So that just goes all night. Wait, so the car's not even on.

14:21Keyzie:No. Because I've had this before. Have you taken out the mats in the front of your car there and shaken them out? That's the first thing I thought. Oh, okay. That is, you know, generally that'll iron everything out. Yes. I've done that. I've even done the ones in the back seat. Right, okay. Cleared out the glove box. What else have we done? I've topped up the window washer fluid. Yeah, I was going to say the window washer fluid. Yeah, done that. You've done that? Yeah. Tire pressure, done that. Yes. What are you running tire pressure-wise? Oh, what is it? I don't know. 41, 42, is it? I don't know.

15:01Whatever. Until it stops dinging. Yeah, yeah.

15:03Mike Minogue:I mean, a little teeter. I'd probably go 32, personally. Oh, no, I'd go 37. No, I've got bigger wheels on it, Keezy, you know. Yeah, he's got the mag wheels. It's sacked out. Have you put engine oil in it? Yeah. Yeah. You've topped up, you've checked the oil. Well, I had it. It came with it. No, I know. Of course it did, but you've been keeping an eye on it. Any other ideas, Jase? Well, the radiator?

15:26Keyzie:I don't know where that is, but I think you put water in it. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

15:30Mike Minogue:Well, not just water. You want to put antifreeze in there as well. It's been pissing down, though, so I figure.

15:34Keyzie:Oh, yeah, no, that makes sense. It doesn't funnel into the one. I leave my bonnet open when it's pissing down with rain and just leave it outside and just take the cap off.

15:43Mike Minogue:Yeah. Really, that's easier than just pouring in some water.

15:47Keyzie:Yes, it is, Casey, because I don't have to do anything.

15:50Mike Minogue:You have to go down, open the bonnet, leave it out overnight.

15:53Keyzie:I'm not a complete lazy arse.

15:57Mike Minogue:Can you play that again? Yeah, I just want to listen to that again.

16:04Mike Minogue:Because it sounds pretty good. Yeah, it's smooth. I tell you what, it's a head turner. Yeah. People hear that coming down the road, they're like, wow. Everyone's always like, whoa, they're turning around like, what the f*** is that? Yeah, yeah. Well, if anyone's got any ideas, 3483, send it through. You've done all the checks. You said you checked the mats, blood box. Send a console. Send a console, yeah. It's got probably eight bucks and change in it. Yeah, because that could be rattling around. And unrelated news, if anyone wants to buy a Nisantita, 3483. There's Block Party. The Hauraki Big Show.

16:44Mike Minogue:Weekdays from 4 on Radio Hauraki.

16:47Keyzie:REM there on the Radio Hauraki Big Show this Thursday afternoon. The time is 4.49. Let's talk TV. What's on the telly with Mike Minogue?

17:01Yeah! Let's get it. Fellas, last night I watched the, I believe the penultimate episode of A Night of the Seven Kingdoms on Neon, the fifth episode. I told Keyes to watch it. I told him to watch it, and if he didn't watch it, I was going to spoil it. I said he wants to watch it because I'm going to spoil the bejesus out of it today is what I said to him. Yes. But he didn't watch it, so I'm not going to do that. So I watched, what did I watch there? I watched Small Town Scandal, and it was the third episode, and it was very funny. It's funny, man. They do some good hard cuts in that show. There's a bit where he finds himself at a swingers party, a sex party, and there is a hard cut in there.

17:47It's one for the ages where he's invited to join in. It's a very, very funny show. Yeah, that was funny. Big fan of it. There's just some facials in it. Stupid little lines that, you know, on paper are potentially not funny at all, but because of the cast, and particularly Tom Sainsbury, they become very, very funny. You know, Felicity Kendall, who's from, do you remember the show A Good Life? Yes, I do. So she plays his mother.

18:14Keyzie:Oh, my God. Wow. She's something of a coup. And she's great. She's a great, I haven't seen her since that show. And I used to watch it with my grandmother. Loved that show. She looks amazing. She tries to cheer him up by offering him a cheese toasted sandwich. And just his reaction to that. On the page, that's not funny, but he makes it so funny. He was so excited about getting his cheese toasted. Anyway, I can't recommend it highly enough. Neon, she's a bloody beauty. Four buzzies plus. Good stuff, Flarm Mogey.

18:45Mike Minogue:And I'll just say two on that, because I watched the fourth episode. Ah, yes. You haven't watched the fourth one yet? No. No, I won't spoil the bejesus out of them. But Tom Sainsbury for me is, I like him. I don't love him. Right. But I love him in this. Yeah, great. It's the funniest, it's the most he's made me laugh. Yeah, great. And the side characters, especially the widow of the bloke who gets murdered. Yes. She makes me laugh every time she's on screen. She's out the gate. She's out the gate. And I've never seen her before, but I'm like, she's brilliant.

19:13Keyzie:Fellas, I watched the penultimate episode of A Night of the Seven Kingdoms. Did you watch this last night? I watched it last night. And boy, oh.

19:24Mike Minogue:No, no, no, no. Guys, we can't spoil TV shows that people are watching. Let's not help. We just review them. He's just saying boy, oh, boy. Thank you, Mogey. No, but you know that it's a spoiler as well. They're going boy, oh, boy, oh, boy.

19:34Keyzie:It's like, whew, something happens. Can I just say then, it's continuing to live up to its expectations. Great.

19:42Mike Minogue:Yeah.

19:43Keyzie:It's a very good show. And also... And I thoroughly, thoroughly enjoyed it.

19:49Mike Minogue:It's following that Game of Thrones tradition, the good old days of Game of Thrones before the last two seasons, where the penultimate episode of every season was like the big episode. Oh, was it? Yeah, 100%. So all the major story beats, except for one or two, there's always something in the second to last episode.

20:05Keyzie:And I've got to say in terms of, you know, the really, I mean, it was with Game of Thrones as well as this show, geez, the fighting scenes are just next level. And how they film them, they're obviously massively choreographed, et cetera, et cetera, but they're very good. I don't want this to be a one battle after another situation where we talk it up and then Kazzy goes, oh, it was all right, as is what happened for me with that film when you guys ruined it for me. and I was very much looking forward to it. Having said that, if you are out there and you're like Keezy was and it's like, oh, I don't want to watch it.

20:41Game of Thrones was great. House of Dragons garbage. This is 100 % worth your while watching. It really is. Agreed.

20:48Mike Minogue:I'm back watching Game of Thrones again as far as I'm concerned. It's awesome.

20:51Keyzie:And I didn't think that movie was the bee's knees either, Mogi, to be honest. Well, you were in it.

20:57Mike Minogue:What? Everyone thinks it was Sean Penn, but it's actually you. So, of course, you're not going to bang on about your own work. And can I say about him, he was the best thing, innit? Jeez, he was off. The way he walked. Yeah, thank you, man. Thank you.

21:08Keyzie:I really got into that character. It just sort of suited my personality for some reason.

21:14Mike Minogue:You made it your own.

21:14Keyzie:I did. I did. Hi, here's a bit of Weezer.

21:25Keyzie:Welcome back, you massive backbones. Hope your Thursday's going along very nicely indeed. You're listening to The Big Show, brought to you by Reeberge.

21:33Mike Minogue:Handcrafted burgers, loaded fries and gourmet eats that will change the game. Free Burger. It's really good.

21:44Keyzie:Great stuff, Keezy. Great stuff, man.

21:46Mike Minogue:No, don't say it like that. Pugs made that.

21:48Keyzie:Yeah, I know. That's what I mean. I love it. I think it's so good. So good.

21:53Mike Minogue:It sounds like you're taking the piss.

21:55Keyzie:Speaking of which, actually, you know, fellas, I got Matt the hangman to come over today to do my pictures. You've already got it for free, man. Let's just leave it there. No, no. I'm paying, man. I'm paying. No, no. And I just like to acknowledge when someone does a good job like Pugs did with that sting. God, that's a good job. I like to... Plug alert.

22:14Mike Minogue:Sell out. Piece of s*** paid under the table. Backhand it. Illegal plug. I just wanted to acknowledge... You've already acknowledged it, and now you're going to repeat yourself and do it again. That Matt the Hangman did a great job. I'm sure he did, but we can't overplug stuff. Okay, sure, man. Because when you think about the people that actually pay to have a presence here, they'll be fuming. Yeah, totally. You're just giving this stuff away, man. I would expect somebody from upstairs to call you up there for a chit-chat. Quite possibly. Because you're a shocking bastard.

22:47Keyzie:But you know what I mean, guys. If you quote him again. Moving on. No, I was going to say, if Keezy does something good on the radio, I go afterwards. People don't know this about me. After the show, I'll give old Keezy a bit of a back rub, and I'll say, you know that bit you did on, you know, portions?

23:04Mike Minogue:That was good stuff. How dare you? We literally just did that segment.

23:08Keyzie:That's what I mean. For example. For example. And I'll say, that was great work, Keezy. I don't think you've ever said that to me. But that's off-ear you do that. Yeah, off-ear. I mean, I want to bang on about it on air. You can't get a discount from him, so what would be the point of doing it on air?

23:22Mike Minogue:Yeah, because you're already getting that A-grade content for free from me.

23:25Keyzie:Yeah, that's true. True, but I like to acknowledge people doing a good job. That's all, fellas. Hey, coming up, Potluck Dinner Chat.

23:32Mike Minogue:Speaking of great content. It's She-Hart. The Hauraki Big Show with Jase, Mike and Kesey. Tune in weekdays at four on Radio Hauraki.

23:42Keyzie:Pink Floyd there on the Radio Hauraki Big Show this Thursday evening. Now, fellas, obviously my dinner tomorrow night, you're all invited and your lovely partners. Where is this taking place? In my apartment. The Jizz Palace

24:00Keyzie:There's been a bit of conjecture as to what to wear Just think sexy

24:06Mike Minogue:Right, okay

24:06Keyzie:Just sexy Mogi, you just come as you are, mate Thanks, mate

24:09Mike Minogue:What, just in a t-shirt?

24:10Keyzie:Yes, you wear whatever you want You'll make it work Can I just wear a t-shirt? No

24:15Mike Minogue:What about Pugs, who's also here?

24:16Keyzie:Oh, it's Pugs G'day, fellas G'day, mate My wife and I going through the menu last night, there's a lot of buckwheat. Buckwheat.

24:27Mike Minogue:About to get buck wild.

24:29Keyzie:And I was like, okay, well, there's a lot of buckwheat you're talking there, darling. Can I just say, no, that's good.

24:36Mike Minogue:Do you not like buckwheat?

24:38Keyzie:And we've got a lot of salad action going on at this stage. There's been conjecture about meatballs. And I'm saying chicken as well, and she's saying, no, that's too much. but you guys have been asking what can you bring. I haven't. I haven't. I did. Well, Keezy did. Keezy, if you could bring some spicy dumplings and some noodles, that would be good.

25:03Mike Minogue:I'm not just bringing my usual noodles and dumplings. No, my wife wants to make something.

25:06Keyzie:So that would be good, and you know where I'm talking from.

25:09Mike Minogue:No, no, no, my wife wants to make something like a salad or something. You'll need something to fill you up on the drive home.

25:14Keyzie:You probably will. Pugs aren't obviously. Hello. Buckwheat. Cheeses. We want cheeses, cold meats, condiments. I thought you were making the platter. And olives and some tofu if you must. Is this in addition to the platter that you're making? No, it's the only platter. Mogi, you just come as yourself, mate. That's funny. I was just going to say I'm going to come as I am. Can I come as Mogi? Come as you are. No, no, just Mogi and your lovely wife, of course. Can't come as Pug-san. No, you can't. Yeah, you can. So any questions on that front?

25:52Mike Minogue:Yes. I've got one over here. Jase, over here. Yes. So you are? Keezy. Oh, Keezy. Nice to meet you. Just a question. You said that you were going to make us a platter, and now Pugs is making the platter. If I wanted a Pugs platter, I would go to Pugs' house.

26:09Keyzie:Well, we've realised now that you're all coming up. There's a lot of people to feed. I'll be busy doing other stuff. The other thing, can I just say, and you'll like this, Moggy, can we keep it down? Can it not be too loud? Yeah. And we'll probably look to wrap it up at around 8 o 'clock. Thank God. That was my next question. Yes. How long am I obliged to stay? Look, just as. Because I'll tell you up front, the moment I walk through the door, I'm thinking about leaving. Yeah, look, I'm with you. I'm with you on that. I have the same thought everywhere I go. My dream would be is that we walk through the door, say hello, straight to the dinner table.

26:44The food is there. We start eating. I'm back out.

26:47Mike Minogue:All in one motion. 20, 30 minutes. Right, okay. Is it enough to eat all that buckwheat, though?

26:53Keyzie:Well, it depends how it's been prepared. However you prepare buckwheat. Can I just say also, maybe don't talk to my wife while she's cooking. I don't want her distracted. Neither do I. This is a big occasion for her, and she doesn't want to stuff it up, she said. It's high pressure.

27:09Mike Minogue:Wait, has she said we're not allowed to talk to her, or are you putting that rule on us?

27:12Keyzie:I'm putting that rule on you. And if you could just keep the chatter down, as I say, because the neighbours are right next door and stuff. I've got a bit of work to do. Is it okay if I bring my laptop? Oh, you can bring your laptop, Mogi, whatever you want, mate. Any particular, because you're not drinking, obviously. Can I get you anything in particular? You got your coffee machine there? Yeah, I got my coffee machine. Yeah, that'll do me, man. Yeah, stovetop or coffee machine. Fellas, you have to bring your own piss.

27:34Mike Minogue:Right, okay. That's totally fine with me, Jase. I just wanted, just because obviously, you know, if I'm going to drink, I'm not going to drive. What's your couch space like? Just in the apartment.

27:45Keyzie:I was going to say not big enough for you, Pugs. What the? But then I thought you'd think I was making some sort of dig about your body size or something. It's just not a very big couch. I guess we'll see tomorrow.

27:58Mike Minogue:I've seen the couch. It's huge. Jase, that's really offensive. So Pugs is bringing a cheese board. Yes. And staying the night. And staying the night. Moggy's literally bringing his laptop and doing some work and his T-shirt then leaving. Having a coffee. Yes, having a coffee.

28:14Keyzie:And I'll make you up a little doggy bag too in case you don't get to eat it all. It depends what it's like.

28:18Mike Minogue:I'm picking up dumplings and noodles and my wife is making something.

28:22Keyzie:A cake, yes. A cake.

28:23Mike Minogue:Yes. And you want us to keep it down. Just on the cake, Jase. Yes. I'm a little bit, just because of past history, I'm a little bit concerned. Can you get Keezy to ask for an ice cream cake? Because it's hard to butcher that.

28:39Keyzie:An ice cream cake? Yeah. Yes, or whether or not a mouth. I mean, my wife's making a cheesecake movie, which I think you'll enjoy, actually. It's very, very good. I'm just conscious of. It's just I think that, wow, yeah. I mean, I could.

28:54Mike Minogue:What are you guys talking about? I can sort of hear you guys sort of like murmuring over there, but I can't quite make out what you're saying.

29:00Keyzie:I'll message him tonight. What's that? I just know that she's going to be watching with a hawk eye. What? Making sure we're eating it. And after the last time. A fork? I just can't. Yes. What did you just call me? Well, it was like you were saying with the barbecue when we were chatting earlier. If you don't like it, the bin will be empty. It's a pity your dog died. Yeah, actually. I wasn't really a big fan of ice cream, to be honest. Fellas. Jizz might eat some of it. Fellas.

29:33Mike Minogue:Sorry, the song's about to start. Sorry, whatever you're talking about here.

29:36Keyzie:So, yeah, look forward to seeing you, fellas. Cool.

29:38Mike Minogue:The Horaki Big Show. Weekdays from four on Radio Hodaki.

29:42Keyzie:Queens of the Stone Age there on the Radio Hodaki. Big show this Thursday afternoon. The time, 5.28.

29:48Mike Minogue:Yeah. Duh. Now, fellas, tomorrow evening, as we've been banging on about, we're going to Hoardy J's for a bit of a housewarming as a new apartment in the city. Big city life. Big city life, Moggy. Big city life. My traffic get my... Dinner parties and all sorts. Yeah, yeah. With Hoardy J. With Hoardy J. Now, my wife is going to make a salad Yum Seriously, you made all these jokes about cakes And can she do an ice cream cake Which I couldn't actually hear you saying Pugs played me back the audio before Of what you were whispering about before And I'm not happy But I also understand that this is a show And we've got to take the piss out of each other And blah blah All I'm saying is that tomorrow night my wife is going to make a salad.

30:39Mike Minogue:If that salad is delicious, which it 99.99 % of the time is likely to be, I just think you guys should either say nothing about it on the radio or say that it was delicious. Because my wife actually has a history in previous jobs of baking a lot of food and me taking it into work. We put a stop to that. 100 % you did. a few years ago when you lied on the radio and said her cake was really dry. She'd only just met her too. I know, and she genuinely was quite upset. Yeah, she was in tears. Now is an opportunity for you guys just to, you know, just put all that to bed and just, if she makes a nice salad.

31:22Yeah, she's got nothing to worry about. Yeah, I mean. If she makes a nice salad, she's got nothing to worry about.

31:29Keyzie:Totally. And I'll be the first to say so. I mean, having said that, I'm very aware of the dynamics here. Are you? I don't want my wife to be overshadowed by your wife's salad. Salad, yeah, that's true. I'm getting the vibe that she's wanting to steal the show with her salad. Can I just say, Jase, there's no chance of that. Yeah, I know, mate, I know. But I'm just saying.

31:53Mike Minogue:Now, when you say that, Mo, are you saying there's no chance of that because Jase's wife's salad is so good? or are you saying because my wife's salad won't be very good? I just don't think it's a – I think it's a lovely dinner we're having together. I don't think it's a competition at all. Yes, yes.

32:09Keyzie:And as my wife and I, hey, it's all very cash. It's just the fellows and their partners just hanging out, having a bit of a bite to eat. A bunch of grown-ups eating some delicious food, you know, and throwing a few funny quips at each other. Should the opportunity arise. Yes, watching a bit of douche-douche out the window.

32:26Mike Minogue:That sounds great. That sounds great. Yeah. But all I'm saying is that if when we talk - Jesus, who made this? Was that one of the quips? Yeah. Because it's delicious. Oh, Keezy's wife, did you make that? Because this is delicious.

32:41Keyzie:Is that meant to taste like that? Man, this is good. Lol.

32:48Mike Minogue:Yeah, so that stuff's, yeah, like as long as it's positive like that.

32:51Keyzie:Yeah, yeah, of course.

32:53Mike Minogue:And if it's not, I'll button it. Yeah, you'll button it. Yeah, sure you will. But also, look, I'm not in charge of you guys. You guys are grown-ups. And all I can say is, look, here's my best advice. And what you do with that is up to you. Does she know that you're begging and crawling on her behalf, Keezy? Because I don't think she'll be impressed. I'm going to talk to her about this at dinner tomorrow night. So am I, man. Disgraceful. The Hauraki Big Show with Jace, Mike, and Keezy. Tune in weekdays at 4 on Radio Hauraki.

33:26Keyzie:Who wants free, Biggie? Douche, douche. Yum. Yes, indeed. All you need to do is when you hear this in the middle of a song. Yum. Give us a call on 0800-HO-DUCKY and you could win yourself a$50 re-burger voucher. I'll tell you who did that. Fiona. G'day, Fiona. How's life?

33:48Mike Minogue:Oh, very well, thank you, Jizz.

33:54What?

33:55Mike Minogue:Nothing. What? So you get all weird if someone says your name?

33:58Keyzie:Well, yeah, I mean, my name's not really Jizz, is it? Isn't it? No. Sorry, Hoity Jizz, Hoity Jizz. Yeah, thank you. I'm getting mixed up.

34:07Mike Minogue:Yeah, yeah, use the full name. Yes. Fiona, where are you calling from? The Wanaka. The Wanaka.

34:15Keyzie:Oh, the Wanaka. The Wanaka.

34:17Mike Minogue:Yeah, the Wanaka.

34:18Keyzie:Beautiful. Now, listen, we're going to have to check, Fiona, that you're not AI, so Keezy's going to ask you a few questions if you don't mind.

34:26Mike Minogue:Okay.

34:26Keyzie:Okay, great.

34:27Mike Minogue:And it's just standard procedure. Everyone gets the same questions, mate, so don't freak out, all right? Don't freak out. Don't freak out, Fiona. I am freaking out. Okay. No, don't freak out. Just stay calm.

34:37Keyzie:Chill. I think the fact that she's freaking out tells me she's not AI. So what, I shouldn't ask the question? No, I think you still should.

34:44Mike Minogue:AI's pretty advanced now. It might have been programmed to freak out. Hey, Fiona from Wanaka, what do you do for a crust? Marriage celebrant. Oh Back bug Back bug Actually Could we get your details And I'll hand them over to Pugs Yeah We'd buy fee Just give it a plug Yeah okay We'll hand that over to Pugs Shocking bug Because he was asking me If I knew any Yeah So that's great We'd buy fee We'll sort you out there Pugs Yeah nice What's for dinner tonight Fiona Chicken stir fry Oh The old stir fry there Yeah What is it Are we talking a bit of Canton action What is that No just I'm Taiwanese, so I go the authentic flavours.

35:27Keyzie:Oh, yeah, nice, nice. Can we come to your place? Nah. Oh.

35:34Mike Minogue:To be honest, I think you've earned the voucher, Fiona. Is that it? No, there's still a few more questions. How often do you floss? Oh, most nights.

35:44Keyzie:Get on you, Fiona. Yeah.

35:46Mike Minogue:Leave your floss by your bedside table, and then you'll do it most nights, and then you'll save yourself hundreds if not thousands on dental care. So you're in your bedroom just flicking food out from between your teeth all over your bedroom? All over the bed head. Stir fry. Has anybody ever said you're a shock embarrassed again? Fiona from Wanaka, what colour are your undies? Probably black. Black, okay.

36:15Keyzie:Everyone seems to run black, eh? Yeah, it is weird.

36:18Mike Minogue:And what's your deepest fear, Fiona from Wanaka? Probably getting lost in the ocean or something like that. Yeah, we have a very common thing. Taking away, no way, no cell phone reception for help. Yeah, that would be terrifying. All right, Fiona, I'm just going to chuck your details on the system here to see whether you are AI or not. And, yep, you've come back clean, mate, so that voucher's all yours. Thanking you. No worries, you hold the loan. Pugs will sort you out there.

36:47Keyzie:It's interesting, isn't it, a lot of people having this fear of being lost in the ocean?

36:51Mike Minogue:Yeah, whereas you'd be all G with it.

36:52Keyzie:No, I was lost on the ocean for three weeks. It's true.

36:58Mike Minogue:No, don't just say it's true. When was that? Oh, when was that, I think? I think you should be able to remember.

37:06Keyzie:2018? 2012, I think it was. Ah, jeez. 2012. Yeah, yeah. Three weeks. It's a long time. It was a long time, but, you know, you adapt. The trick is, Keyzy, and you won't know this. No, I won't. You've got to float on your back.

37:21Mike Minogue:Well, I knew that. No, you didn't. Were you able to float on your back?

37:25Keyzie:I was able to float on my back, and I was picked up because they saw my honker in the water there.

37:31Mike Minogue:Oh, come on, Jase, man. Your nose isn't that big. Yes, it is, Kenzie. Yeah, no, it is, though.

37:36Keyzie:It's White Stripe.

37:37Mike Minogue:The Hauraki Big Show, weekdays from four on Radio Hauraki.

37:41Keyzie:Yes, indeed. Guns and roses there on the Radio Hauraki Big Show this Thursday afternoon. afternoon. Now we've got a boat to give away New Zealand, so listen up. Boat.

37:53Mike Minogue:Oh, me?

37:54Keyzie:No, Mogi was going to... I did my bit. He did his bit and then it was your bit.

37:59Mike Minogue:So you said listen up and then Mogi said boat. Boat, yes. I went boat, boat and then you kind of sort of jumped in, damn it. I knew we should have practised it. I didn't know you were doing something. Well, I guess I can chip in and say if you text boat to 3483 you get in the draw to win a$75 ,000 boating package thanks to Finchaser Boats. It's a 535 centred console. Mercury 60 horse four stroke comes with a Voyager trailer. Epic package. All you have to do is name the damn thing. The fresh batch of names have come through there, fellas. Yes. You ready to hear some of these? I'm frothing it. Just going to get the names music ready.

38:35Mike Minogue:Douche, douche. Moister than an oyster.

38:40Keyzie:Yeah. No, that's okay. A bit long. Yes, it is a bit elongated.

38:45Mike Minogue:are the depth star instead of death star. Where's the star coming to it? Like a death? No, I don't know, like depth. Yeah. That's not it, though, is it? You can't, that's not it, is it, Jase? Jase, are you able to say something?

39:03Keyzie:Yeah, look, I don't mind. There's been worse. Yeah. There's been worse.

39:08Mike Minogue:What about the sea slapper?

39:10Keyzie:Yep.

39:11Mike Minogue:Happy with that?

39:12Keyzie:Because often when you, especially with a boat like that, it's got some power behind it. It'll be slapping the sea, all right?

39:20Mike Minogue:G'day, Fielers. G'day, Fielers. Hey, man. No, that's the name of the boat. Oh, right. G'day, Fielers. Yeah. No, F-H-A-L-S. Oh, right. F-H-A-L-S.

39:32Keyzie:Yeah, sure. Yeah, okay, why not?

39:34Mike Minogue:Floaty Jizz. No. Instead of hoity jizz. Oh. That's just disgusting. The Sea God. No. Seize the moment. No. With the word seize. Granny Moo Moo.

39:50Keyzie:I have no idea of that.

39:52Mike Minogue:I don't know. Maybe it's a personal joke. Granny Moo Moo.

39:55Keyzie:Yeah. I think that's someone just taking their piss, to be honest. Fish Fingered. We've heard that one, haven't we? Yes.

40:01Mike Minogue:I don't remember. Kinner Surprise.

40:05Keyzie:No.

40:08Mike Minogue:Fintastic. Rock and Reel. Offshore frequency. Unreal, the snatch pot. The steaming floater.

40:19Keyzie:So text boats. Yes, three. Four. Eight. Three. And being to win a$75 ,000 maritime bonanza.

40:32Mike Minogue:What the hell's a spinanza? What is a spinanza? A maritime spinanza. Is that the name of the boat? It's the darkness.

40:42Mike Minogue:The Hauraki Beat Show with Jace, Mike and Keezy. Tune in weekdays at four on Radio Hauraki.

40:49Keyzie:Yeah, welcome back, you massive backbones. Hope you're enjoying your Thursday night. And as you predicted, Mogi, we've had a nice little stretch of weather of late. We have. Apparently that's going to go for the rest of the month. What a treat. Oh, how exciting. By the way, this show's bought you by Reburger.

41:05Mike Minogue:Craveworthy street food freshly made with Reburger. Oh, yummy. We just had a text on 3483, Jase, if you don't mind. Someone has asked that you please stop saying bought to you by Reburger and start saying brought to you by Reburger.

41:22Keyzie:Is that right? Brought to you by Reburger. Brought to you. What do I say? Bought to you by Reburger. You say brought. Do you? Yeah, I think so. What does that text say?

41:34Mike Minogue:Bought to you. Let me get the exact text here. Someone texted in a bit of a huff. And when I was thinking back, I was like, I'm not sure. what you say. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Let me just find it here. Jeez, that's interesting, isn't it? Because I think I'm a bit of a... I'm a bit of a stickler for the old grammar, etc. Yes, no, and fair enough. And I would have picked it up. I don't think that's right, Jase. I think they've got that wrong. You know, I've kept my mouth shut for months, maybe years. It's brought to you by Reburg or not. Bought, gets, write the F up my goat every time. Please revise. Regards, Jay.

42:05Okay, thanks, Jay.

42:06Keyzie:I don't think you would think it was brought to you by Reburg or not. Oh, look, it's possible that I could have slipped out.

42:11Mike Minogue:Maybe just really emphasise the R. Brought to you. Like, brought?

42:16Keyzie:Yes, okay. Brought. Well, look, and we can always take it on the chin, can't we, fellas? When people want to point stuff out to us, we're here to improve always. I'm not perfect.

42:26Mike Minogue:Yeah, and we won't get pissy about it.

42:28Keyzie:No, I certainly won't get pissy about it, Jay.

42:30Mike Minogue:Even though he did spell a word wrong in his text. What did he say? Yeah, did he? Oh, he put, I can't remember because I've just scrolled away from it.

42:37Keyzie:idiot. Jay, I mean.

42:40Mike Minogue:Yeah, yeah.

42:41Keyzie:No, but thanks for your feedback, Jay, and I'll work on that very, very hard.

42:47Mike Minogue:The Hauraki Big Show. Weekdays from four on Radio Hauraki.

42:51Keyzie:Nirvana there on the Radio Hauraki Big Show Thursday night. Fellas, you guys know that I'm driving a pretty sweet 2003 Nithan Tida. Sort of a light blue colour, I guess you could say. Pretty sick. A bit of a head turner. Yes. You know.

43:09Mike Minogue:Cheap hatchback. That's how I would describe it. A sick hatchback. A sick hatchback. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And it's sounding a little bit sick at the moment, actually.

43:23Mike Minogue:That sounds so bad. We're trying to work out what it is. We've done everything that you can really do outside of taking the engine out, stripping it. Exactly. Sort of going through it piece by piece. it's not the radiator. It's not the window wiper fluid. I guess you call it fluid. You dust it off the mats in the passenger seat and the driver's seat. Yeah. Check the tire pressure. You check the tire pressure. Tickety-boo. The aerial works all jey. You don't have stuff in your boot,

43:53Keyzie:like you're trying to get rid of or something. Old sandwiches and shit like that. Oh, yeah, that's all she. Yeah, I just sort of fling the, because that's the beauty of a hatchback kesey, is if there's anything lying around sort of within arm's reach that you get sick of looking at, you just fling it over your left shoulder. Boom, it's in the boot. Do you not have a parcel shelf? Parcel?

44:12Mike Minogue:Hey, the good thing about being on the radio, fellas, is the audience can help us out by texting in on 3483, and they've diagnosed it for you. Oh, yes. Now, the issue we've got here is there's a lot of conflicting sort of messages coming through. People are, you know, being pretty negative. Like, if that teeter was a horse, you would shoot it.

44:30Keyzie:Out the back paddock.

44:32Mike Minogue:But that's just one person's opinion. Can confirm it's loose muffler bearings possibly return springs of the pistons. Oh, yeah, yeah. But that's a major. Well, that's a fair thing I checked. Yeah, I'll check that. When you say check, you gave them a kick. Yeah, kick the pistons. Sounds like my missus old teeter misfiring on one cylinder. Shout out, Samantha. So that's not what yours isn't misfiring. Yours is running sweet on all four. This guy doesn't know what. He doesn't know what's going on. Sounds like a pulley bearing, says Shane. Pulley? A pulley bearing. Honestly. You don't think it's that?

45:06Mike Minogue:Jake says it could be the CV joints. CV joints. Cars don't have joints. Sounds like your hamster has gone into the radiator fan from Brent. I thought it might have been the Tui next door, actually, because that's disappeared. Yes. Interestingly. How about this, though? This is great. And you're not allowed to plug this on the radio if this does happen. But g'day, Mogey. I'm an old mechanic, 50 years experience. That car needs a new battery and a factory reset on the computer. I can do all of it for about two and a half grand if it's a cashy. That's generous. That's a pretty good deal. That's not bad.

45:38Mike Minogue:So I'll send you that guy's number if you want. Yes, please. Oh, what about this? If you've been having a look under the bonnet, you might have inadvertently damaged the radiator with your beak. Could be that. Sam says, it's definitely one of the wing mirrors off balance. Hold one of the doors open to realign the aerodynamics. Yeah, true. Yeah, I didn't even think of that.

45:59Keyzie:Brilliant.

45:59Mike Minogue:If you do that for about 30 seconds, it should sort of, yeah. Double check the paperwork. Make sure it's not a tractor from the 30s because it kind of does sound like a tractor from the 30s.

46:11Keyzie:It does a little bit, actually.

46:14Mike Minogue:Actually, this is good for Mark. Sounds to me like you need to reset the time on the clock, Mogey, and they'll charge you a bomb for that. But if you'd sort it out, it'll be purring. Oh, purring, yeah, because that's what it's always done is purr. Yeah, yeah. I'm not happy about it, man. I don't really know. I'm at a bit of a loss. I don't want to have to take it to a mechanic. No. That's the last thing you should do. Just on a mechanic. There's one text through. G'day, Mogey. Grease monkey here. I think that bitch needs to be put in a paddock with hoody jizz because it's effed.

46:45Mike Minogue:The Hauraki Big Show with Jase, Mike, and Keezy. Tune in weekdays at 4 on Radio Hauraki.

46:51Keyzie:Bush there on the Radio Hauraki Big Show this Thursday night. Now, the backbone bench where you and three mates get to go and watch the Breakers, get a few beverages, get free food and get courtside. And I believe, Keezy, because you're going to be going to this tonight, it's the final match of the season. Am I right in saying that?

47:10Mike Minogue:It is the final match of the regular season. Unfortunately, the Breakers didn't really go to the business end of the season this year. They didn't have much luck, Keezy. A couple of their star players had season ending injuries. You know, it just wasn't to be, mate. But that's sport. That is sport. Amen, Muggy. That's really... Sport. What are you going to do? That's good stuff. Salve-e. But big shout-out to Gareth Cameron, who's off tonight to the game on the North Shore there with three of his mates. He'll be sitting courtside, free food, free beers. I will also be there with Pugs and the Hodaki team.

47:36Mike Minogue:We're in the hospitality area with free food and beers as well.

47:39Keyzie:Wow. You won't go too hard, though, eh, Keezy? Oh, I hadn't thought about that, yeah. Yeah. What do you mean? Well, I mean, I know what you like with free stuff. What I'm like with free stuff. You've got a big night tomorrow night, you see. Yeah, I just don't want... I don't want you green around the gills when you're eating our salads. And all nasally in that. Yeah.

47:58Mike Minogue:No, I'll have a few beers. I'll keep it quiet, though, because I'm there. At the end of the day, it's about networking. It's about switching it on for the company. Who else is going to be there? I don't know. I thought you were switching it on for you. Prebs. Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah, okay. You're going to network with Prebs. Yeah, Prebs is going to be there. I'll be networking with Prebs for a lot of it. Yeah. And Bec from the day show. Oh, yes. I'll be networking with her. Yes. and apparently there's delicious sliders that you get and ice cream gelato. So I'll be going along. But big shout-out to the Breakers.

48:29Mike Minogue:We've been doing this the entire season. This is the final time. Big shout-out to Gareth Cameron, who's taken his mates to the big game there, and a big shout-out to you fellas for not making a big deal out of not being invited to this staff out. It's been really great. I mean, I was devastated, obviously, but I guess after four and a half years, Jase, you just learned to take a hint. When you're not wanted, so be it. Yep. Oh, we wanted you guys there C 'est la vie, c 'est la vie We wanted you guys there But we know that you guys always say no to the stuff Well, how can we say no when nobody ever asks us?

49:01Exactly Fine

49:02Mike Minogue:There are two spots left Do you guys want to come? Too late, man I've got plans

49:05Keyzie:Other plans, sorry, Keezy What?

49:07Mike Minogue:Like what? Do a bit of work? Watch Small Town Scandal? Yeah The Hauraki Big Show Weekdays from 4 on Radio Hauraki

49:18Keyzie:Yes, indeed You too there on the Radio Hauraki big show this Thursday evening. Let's give out some advice, fellas. Petite 69

49:31Mike Minogue:at gmail.com Get in touch with the fellas. We're doing so well, fellas.

49:38Keyzie:We were. I was about to kick in myself. I think it's better with it. I stopped myself. I've been stopped in the street by people. And they've been saying to me, when are you going to start singing? Sweet Sweet patty nips. Can you change the state?

49:54Mike Minogue:No, pugs, don't. Sweet patty nips. We're not changing it just because Mogey said sweet patty nips. 69. It's the rules, bro. Otherwise, when we listen to the show in 10 years' time, all of our segments make no sense whatsoever. No one's listening to them now, man. They're not going to be listening to them in 10 years' time. Exactly. What's it called, Jase, when people say things over and over and they slowly change and then by the end of it, it's a completely different sentence?

50:18Keyzie:Chinese whispers.

50:19Mike Minogue:Oh, man. Jesus. Oh, damn it. Remember when you got cancelled for that?

50:22Keyzie:You walked me into that. Yeah, you just ran. And I just went straight into it. I ran to the slaughter.

50:29Mike Minogue:I thought you were playing a lot. No. Really? Oh, my God. What is it called now? I don't know. Whispers. Whispers. Just normal whispers. Yeah, just. Global whispers. Oh, what do they call it? They're gossip or rumours or something. Yeah. Something like that. Yeah, yeah. There's a new playground name for it. It certainly doesn't involve a race of people. I tell you that much. I'll tell you that much for free. My bad. It's a little bit sick. This question comes in from Don Anonymous. Denonymous. Oh. I almost said his name. That is the first time you've done that. You've had a shocker. Thank you.

51:00Mike Minogue:It's a sweet patty nips over here. It's 100 % anonymous, by the way. No, everyone's Denonymous. Denonymous. 100 % Denonymous, sweet patty nips, 69. And Jase is racist. All right. Kia ora, hello, and a warm Pacific greetings to the Big Dadoo Show. I have a very serious piece of work that needs advice immediately. A so-called friend within the wider friend group has started dating a female. However, said female is another friend in the same circle's ex-girlfriend.

51:29Keyzie:Okay.

51:30Mike Minogue:Of two to three years, so a serious ex-girlfriend. The ex is currently overseas and has only recently found out that this is all happening back in New Zealand. Apparently, the ex-boyfriend and the current boyfriend were never super close, but the new boyfriend has been in the same group chats at the same functions and they definitely do know each other. This has made things quite awkward and created an unspoken divide. Some people think it's all G, others don't. A few questions. Is it all G? How can this be made less awkward amongst the group? And how big is Hoodie J's nose in centimetres? Cheers.

52:02Mike Minogue:That's anonymous. You've got to measure it in inches. It doesn't work in centimetres. Metres.

52:05Keyzie:I don't know how it was with your friend groups back in the day but there was just a shag fest. I mean, you just broke up and went out with someone else in the group, and they broke up and went out with someone. You know, I mean, that's what it was in my friend group, so I didn't make a big deal about it. I would agree with you in the teenage years, but I think half the teenage years it's not acceptable.

52:25Mike Minogue:Yeah, no, I think it is. But if this guy doesn't consider himself to be a close mate with that dude, then what does he care? Yeah, no skin off his nose. And the guys overseas, it's like, so what are we doing here? I think the only thing is, for the gentleman who has decided to go into a relationship with the ex of a mate or an acquaintance, they are now never allowed to break up. That's the only way that you can make it justifiable. The new couple have to get married and have kids, and once they've been together for 20, 25 years, then the ex can go, okay, fair enough. Yes, they're in love. They're committed.

53:03Up until that point, that goes piece of shit.

53:05Mike Minogue:So that's the rule, is if you're dating a friend's ex, marriage, kids. Four kids. Four kids. It has to be four? Yes. Oh, that explains your situation. And then, okay, there you go. That's great advice, fellas. That was pretty good. Yeah, it was pretty good, I thought. And in terms of making it, do you say, less uncomfortable? Is that a thing? How do you make it less awkward within the group? Yeah, you can't. I mean, that guy's overseas, so it shouldn't be awkward at all.

53:31Keyzie:And they weren't very close in the first place. So what does it matter, man?

53:33Mike Minogue:Just play them this piece of audio. Yeah, that's right. The sweet Paddy Nips, and they'll totally understand. Yeah, the first two minutes will make the most sense. Just bleep out the part where Jase, like, really unleashes.

53:46Keyzie:Yeah, that was bad. I'm sorry, fellas.

53:48Mike Minogue:Meet Paddy Nips, 69 at gmail.com. Get in touch. Real email address, and you will get a prize just for getting read out on the show. Here's some Beastie Boys, fellas.

53:57Keyzie:How good.

53:58Mike Minogue:The Hauraki Beat Show with Jase, Mike, and Keezy. Tune in weekdays at four on Radio Hauraki.

54:11Keyzie:Well, there you go, you mad bastards. That's the big show done and dusted for your Thursday night. Now, in the podcast outro today, we got into a bit of hangover chat, didn't we, fellas?

54:22Mike Minogue:Certainly did. The podcast comes out at 7.30 tonight. Search Hauraki Big Show wherever you get your potties.

54:28Keyzie:It's about five o 'clock in the afternoon. This is many, many years ago. And my agent rang me and I was like, Good morning. It's been a busy day. How are you, Jason? It's been a busy day. And she said to me, oh, because they've changed the schedule and they want you to film tomorrow. I was like, what? What? The other thing was I had heaps of script and I hadn't learnt any lines. Yeah, that was a tenuous few days of filming for Old Hoodie J. Go and check out that podcast, by the way. Also check out the Instagram account. Mogi, what are you up to tonight? Get on my push bike, man. Yeah, okay. I'm right at home.

55:08It's a nice sort of time of the evening, sort of after 7 o 'clock there. Bloody beautiful it is. And yeah, get home, read a story to my daughter, watch a bit of telly, a little bit of work. You know what I mean? And Betty Bies. Then sleepy time, around about 8.30, 8.45.

55:23Keyzie:You're off to a bit of b-ball tonight. there, Keezy? You looking forward to it, mate?

55:27Mike Minogue:Yeah, really looking forward to it. Me and old Pug-san are going to hit up the hospitality section. A few beersies, a bit of food. Shocking. Maybe watch a bit of basketball, maybe. Yeah. Man, that sounds like fun. I'll probably have my back to the basketball and just be punishing beers responsibly and really punishing everyone around me with really loud chat. Sounds good, man. Sounds good. What are you doing tonight, Chase?

55:46Keyzie:I'm just going to go home and chill out, fellas. Chat to my wife. My daughters are coming from overseas tonight. Oh, yeah. So I'm going to try and stay up. They're not going to get into about 11.30. It may be beyond me to stay up that long, but I'll give it a crack. Why don't you just go to bed and then... Wake up at 11.30.

56:02Mike Minogue:Yeah, maybe. What time are they leaving tomorrow?

56:05Keyzie:Early in the morning. Well, early-ish.

56:08Mike Minogue:Right, so you'll be able to have breakfast with them and then they'll go. Yeah, I think so. Something like that. It'll be good. It'll be good.

56:13Keyzie:That's nice. So that's me. Hey, now as I said, go and check out the podcast. Go and check out the Instagram account. And until tomorrow, see you later. Bye.

56:25Thank you.