FULL SHOW: Replace The Jase

15:49Keyzie:Well, funnily enough. What the hell's a star? Yeah. What's a star? A star is the thing that you have on a buzzy. So it's two buzies. Oh, two buzies. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Well, interestingly enough, actually, we got a call from a mate. So cool, mate. That very night saying, oh, your father-in-law's on TV at the moment. Oh, is he? So it was actually one of his homes. So you're saying that my father-in-law, who designed and was the architect for the home, is a boring bastard. I'll be sure to pass that on, Mogi. I was watching TVNZ +, so it was an episode from a long time ago. Oh, okay. So that wasn't directly what I was saying, but absolutely I feel that way, having met the man before, and I think you should pass that message on from me.

16:35Yeah, I saw that live last night. It's a pretty bad house. Yeah, he's one. I mean, not just the house that's bad. Oh, my God. It's the man himself as a bore. Paint dry much? Oh, my God. grass grow much?

16:45Keyzie:He's massively dry balls, I'll agree with that. Whoa, whoa, whoa. You can't say that about your father. That is outrageous. Yeah, no, I mean, I thought the house was okay. You know what I mean? It's like, and this is the thing about these sort of shows, is they bang on about that sort of stuff, don't they? Oh, God. And it's like, yeah, look, someone's got a bit of a wavy roof. Whoop-dee-doo. You know what I mean? Right. Jace's house has got a wavy roof too. Sure, it's not supposed to be wavy. Yeah, exactly. You don't need him going on with it. It's just the piles. You know, and then look at the view they've got there.

17:14Keyzie:How magnificent. Well, have you ever heard of a window? Of course there's a bloody view there. How hard is it to chuck a window in there? I was so fuming while I was watching the show last night with my father-in-law. I went up, there's one buzzy. Not even that. So let me get this straight. You're giving your father-in-law one buzzy? Half a buzzy. Oh, wow. Oh, wow. Out of five. Out of five, man. That's huge. Last night I watched a documentary on how they make baked beans and put them in the can. Oh, yeah? How good's that? The Heinz factory in England. Have you watched the Charlie Sheen one yet?

17:50No, I'm waiting for my wife. She was busy last night. So I just put on this Heinz baked bean factory documentary. Did you know that the Heinz baked bean factory in the UK has the highest quantity of beans of any factory in the world?

18:08Keyzie:Wow. And can I just correct you on something here, Kesey? They don't make the beans. Sorry, man, I shouldn't have said that. You know, they get some beans and they put a bit of sauce on them and chuck them in a can. He's got you there, man. Oh, my God, have you seen the doctor? Yeah, half a pussy.

18:29The Hauraki Beat Show with Jase, Mike and Kesey. Tune in weekdays at four on Radio Hauraki.

18:35Keyzie:Kesey. You're welcome back, you massive backbones. Hope you are surviving your Tuesday afternoon, two minutes past five o 'clock, and you're listening to The Big Show, brought to you by Reburger. Beef, chicken, vegan and vegetarian options too. Reburger, redefining the norm. Oh, yum. This is so good because it's Reburger. Yum! Did you voice that, Jase? Yeah, it was me earlier on. Someone sent in a text which, you know, I thought was a little bit harsh. They said, I hope Jase doesn't lose his voice because he doesn't have a face or a body for anything. And, you know, I reflected upon that when actually that's very accurate.

19:15Keyzie:That's very fair. Is it one of your best attributes, your voice? It's my only attribute. Yeah, right, okay. And my massive... Honker. Yeah. Sorry, but I had to jump in there. Hey, now listen, coming up, we were talking about it yesterday, Al Keezy had a big opportunity with Triple M. Oh, yeah, that's right. Oh, yeah. as a sideline voice at the league there on Saturday night, and we've got hold of the audio, fellas. Yeah, I'm excited because I was sideline. I was at the Warriors game. It was literally a dream come true. Triple M Sydney, huge station, hundreds of thousands of listeners over there in Australia.

19:49I'm really excited. A bit nervous to hear myself back, to be honest. It's like the first time you hear yourself on the radio. You go, oh, jeez. This is the first time I've heard myself doing serious sideline commentary. So can't wait to rip into that next.

20:01Keyzie:Yeah, well, the first time I heard myself on the radio, I thought, hot? Yeah. Who's that stud? What about when you listen back to this right now? Even hotter, man. The Hauraki Big Show. Weekdays from four on Radio Hauraki. Yes, indeed. Green day there on the Radio Hauraki Big Show this Tuesday afternoon, 11 minutes past five o 'clock. Stop it. Huge, huge opportunity for old Keezy over the weekend. He got to realise a dream, Mogi. He did. doing some sideline chat for a big rugby league match. Triple M Radio in Sydney, which is pretty huge. Massive, Jase. It's pretty huge. It's massive. I was equal parts excited and nervous.

20:45I'd never done sideline commentary. I'd done comedy commentary on the ACC. That's about it. I just said, yeah, no, I can do that for you. So naturally, I think we're going to hear my first break. Yeah. Where they threw to me for the first time. Wow. And I was quite nervous. so just

21:00Keyzie:I'm sure you were great man and on the sideline for the first time I believe we have Chris Key come in Chris G'day you mad bastard G'day guys Chris Key here bloody good to be part of the sorry Sid are you allowed to say really stoked to be asked to come and do the commentary fellas fellas literally never done like sideline commentary like this, like when we do it at the ACC, like we're not like at the stadium. We're like in a studio. You probably don't even know what the ACC is. Look, the atmosphere down here, electric, back to you guys in the studio. Wow, so good, man. Wow. Succinct to the point.

21:51Keyzie:You killed it. You nailed it there, Kesey. Really? Because I was super nervous. Oh, you couldn't tell? Nah, that's good stuff from you. That's the best I've ever heard you sound, actually. Because listen to that, maybe it's that thing where you always think you sound worse than you actually were, or you look worse than you actually do. Yeah, yeah, that's standard. Yeah, because you like rugby league. You always think you sound terrible. That's just you, you see yourself very high standards, and you struggle to meet those standards. Well, no, I've never said that. Every show, I mean, and New Zealand should know this, every time we finish a show, Kesey's like, God, I was shit today.

22:19Keyzie:Yeah. And we're like, no, Kesey, you were fine, man. Are you sure that's not Pug saying that about me? No, it was definitely you. Really? Yeah. Oh, okay. But anyway, there was about 15 minutes gap between that one and the next one. You just got to get the cobwebs out, man. 100%. I also had a couple of nerve settlers too. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I was far more comfortable by the time the second one came on. This is their first step on that. What a challenge it is. The rain coming down the wind. Just in time. Chris Key coming again. What's going on in Auckland? G'day, guys. Had a few nerve settlers. Sweet as.

22:52Good to go. Sorry about before. Oh, I'm from Aussie. Oh, it only f***ing is sunny over here. Well, guess what? In Auckland and in New Zealand, it rains sometimes. It's not that big of a deal. It's just rain. You know what I mean? I used to play footy in Tauranga where I grew up. I used to play footy. It used to rain. No one f***ing cared, man.

23:18Keyzie:Wow, that was so good. It was edgy. I've seen this one. Because you never played rugby. You're always riding the pine. But really good, Kesey. Yeah, man. So good. And they must have been going, ah, this guy's on to it. Yeah. Honestly, guys, listening back, it's like, that sounds really bad. No, I'm telling you, man, you're thinking about other people good. You good, that's right up there. Because that's your first time doing. 100%. I wasn't nervous. You can't hold yourself to high standards, man. Yeah. When you were saying that you had a couple of settlers before with the second one there, how many are we talking?

23:55Keyzie:Oh, just a couple. Yeah. No, you've earned it, man. Like a Keezy couple? Yeah. Yeah, so eight, nine settlers. I don't even want to play this last one because there was a bit in the second half where they came to me and I didn't even know that I wasn't wearing the headphones. Right. So, yeah, it was a bit of a shambles. Well, here we go. Warriors with their first opportunity. Quick one for the sideline, Chris Key. I thought you'd never done this before. How did you get to get it? Literally never done it before. I was actually playing golf. I got a phone call from some Aussie guy. I was like, hey, you've done sideline.

24:28We need sideline. And I was like, yeah, man. I've done sideline. And literally, bro, I've never done sideline. I literally have no f***ing idea what I'm doing. Hello? F***ing. Oh, bro, do you know where the toilet is? Hey, bro, do you know where the toilet is? They won't care. I'll just duck up. I'll be like 10 minutes. That's sweet. Yeah, no, they f***ing don't even care, man. Like, yeah, they're f***ing sweet, man. Oh, man, that sounds way worse than I remember.

24:59Keyzie:How was the steamer, though? I mean... Because, I mean, 10 minutes. She must have been a... Must have been a huge Keezy. Yeah, Jason was massive. The massive steamer at Bounce Mart. Actually, the way I'm sounding, I'd be a great rugby league commentator at the moment. Except for the complete lack of knowledge. Yeah, leave it to the experts, Jase. You don't need knowledge, fellas. The Hauraki Big Show with Jase, Mike and Keezy. Tune in weekdays at four on Radio Hauraki. Smashing pumpkins there on the Radio Hauraki. Big show this Tuesday afternoon, the time 5.24. Yeah. Hey, the other day, and guys, we should just say at every break, Jase's voice is...

25:40Cooked. Yeah, it's cooked. He's done. He's on last week. Sounds fine to me. He's out. Guys, I was telling you a few days ago that I went along to my daughter's art show at her school. Yes. And while I was there, I saw another parent there. He was an adult male, probably mid-50s. Medium build? Oh, a bit bigger than that. Oh, yeah. Yeah. Spilling out a little bit, you know what I mean? Medium to high. Kind of spilling out of his clothes a little bit. Bare gut, sort of. Oh, I don't know if it could be attributed to beer. Right. I wouldn't want to say. Sure. I wouldn't want to start rumours around the school, Kezi.

26:13I don't know. Oh, okay. It's my bad. but I saw this fellow, and I hadn't met him before, glasses. Oh, he was wearing glasses? Those are not good. Yeah, right. But he had his collar. He was wearing sort of a suit sort of set up there. Business shirt. But his collar was tucked all the way inside, you know. He looked ridiculous. So he had his shirt on and his jacket, like his suit jacket over the top. That's right. And the collar was inside it. Well, even inside its own shirt, so it sort of tucked inside out sort of thing. So he was a businessman. You're not going to do any business right now, Keasy.

26:48I'll tell you, that's straight up. Somebody wants them to do business and they haven't even got their collar in the right place. Business time is over. We're done here. Okay, we're shutting up shop for the day. So I just wanted to find out what you would do, Keasy, in that situation. Now, I'm witnessing this. Right. Do I do something? Do I say something to him? Do I just sort of have a little laugh to myself? Yeah. Look at this chump. Or not? Do you know the guy? No, I don't know the guy. You've never met him? You don't know his name? Nah. All you know is that he's got glasses. He's of medium to large build.

27:22And his collar's stuck in his jacket. I am usually the kind of person, like, Mogey, I'll do it for you too. I'll, like, point out if you've got a bit of chip on your face.

27:30Keyzie:Yes, I usually do. Yeah, you do. Which is most days. And so I'll point it out and be like, got a bit of chip there, man. Yeah, man. Because I feel like a small moment of embarrassment will fix many, many moments throughout the day of embarrassment. Yes. It's like when we were filming, this is last year, we were filming Game of Two Halves, the very first episode. Matt Heath showed up. Yeah. This was back when he was part of the show. I think it was one in the afternoon and he still had toothpaste around his mouth. Yeah. And I was like. That wasn't toothpaste.

28:02No, I'm pretty sure it was. And I was like, oh, hey man, you've got some toothpaste on your mouth. And he goes, oh. Did you do those things with your fingers? or you go, you've got some toothpaste around your mouth, yeah. No, no, no. It sounds dirty when you say it, Jase. No, I was like, oh, you've got toothpaste on your mouth. And then he said, oh, yes, it is in fact toothpaste. Wiped it off. Said, thanks, Keezy. And then I was like, what time did you brush your teeth? And then he was like, 5 a.m. this morning. So he had done a breakfast show. He'd seen his producers. He'd seen everyone in the office.

28:31And no one had told him that he had toothpaste on his mouth. You know what I mean? So I probably would have told him. You would have told him? But this guy's a stranger. You know me and Matt. I would have looked at him and just pulled my collar and just gone, collar broke. Oh, you might have done the eyes out of him. The subtle kind of. Definitely, I think I would. Yeah. What about you? That's what I would have done. What would you do, Jase? What would Hoity J do?

28:55Keyzie:I find it very suspicious that Matt was like, yeah, yeah, it's toothpaste. Let's just get back onto the question here. Sorry, man. I just got sidelined there. Well, first of all, I'd ask him if he was okay. Oh. Are you okay? Yeah, like that. I'd go, you know, yeah, nice to meet you. You okay? And he'd be like, I presume, yeah, I guess so. Why do you ask? And I'd go, because you look like a massive marnus. Would you do it in that voice as well? Yeah. I don't know if you know this, but your collar's stuck in your thing there and you look like a deer brain. You'd say that to them? Yes. and you're embarrassing your family, your kid, you should just leave, man, you loser.

29:41Keyzie:And clean your specs. How the hell do you look out of those bastards? They're filthy. Right, so that's what Jase would have done. Yeah, cool. And then this, I guess, is what you did, Mogey. Oh, okay. What would Mogey do? Yeah, I did what Jase did. Oh. The Hauraki Big Show with Jase, Mike and Keezy. Tune in weekdays at 4. On Radio Hauraki. Yes, indeed, R.E.M. there on the Radio Hauraki big show this Tuesday afternoon. The time is 5.49. Now, fellas, I had a strange encounter today. Strange encounters of the hoity car. Douche, douche, douche. And it was one of those encounters that flavoured my day.

30:30Keyzie:It was this morning. And I don't know why these things happened to me, and I'm sure that they happen to other people as well. I've got a theory on that. I've got a theory on why. I was thinking about it today. This is what happened. I was at the supermarket getting a few bits and bobs. Bit of hot pork, Mogey. Old hot pork, Mogey. It's like a bit of hot pork. I love a bit of hot pork. Some nice cheese, some French bread. And I'm walking up to the checkout. This is totally true. And there was a guy walking beside me with a little trolley there and he was heading down the aisle. And I was walking to the checkout and all of a sudden I hear quite loudly, quite loudly enough to make me stop, F you.

31:17Keyzie:But he actually swore, right? Yeah, he said, F you. So quite a few people hear. And I stopped and I turned around. That's your mistake right there. And this guy was just glaring at me. And I was like, and I looked at him and I went, okay. Do you know what I mean by that? Yeah. Like, this guy, okay. But I said to him, sorry, are you talking to me? You're smart. Oh, see, why? And he said, yeah, I was. And I said, well, what's the problem, mate? And he goes, I was going to that effing checkout. and I was like, let me just assure you with, you know, the sort of what actually happened. There was no way he was going to that checkout.

32:04Keyzie:He was going down an aisle. Right. And I went, oh, okay, man, I'm sorry about that. I thought you were going down the aisle, so I was just going to the checkout. And he said to me, and I bullshit you not, I was going to back him. Really? And he was quite a big unit, and I was like, okay, man, well, look, that's cool. That's cool, man. I didn't realise you were doing that. So you back in or you go in and go ahead of me. That's not a problem. And so he takes his trolley around me. He's effing and jeffing under his breath, just shaking his head. I'm standing behind him going, what the is going on here?

32:45Keyzie:And then the express lane opened up, which had been previously close. So I went into the express lane and I look across and he's just giving me the eyeball, heffin' and jeffin' like old hoity Jay, shaking his head, gets his groceries. And then as he's walking out with his groceries, says something to me, which I couldn't really discern what it was. But let me just say, I don't think it was complimentary. Right. And the woman behind my counter said, oh, what was that about? And I said, I've got no idea. and then she said, oh, yeah, we get some pretty sick people here and I went, yeah, I imagine you probably do.

33:26Keyzie:So I go outside with my groceries and this guy's standing by his car waiting for me and I just walk past going, don't look at him, don't look at him, just keep walking, I don't need an altercation here and I do just briefly look up at him and he's giving me the bird and I get to my car and I'm like, what the...

33:53Keyzie:was that? You know what I'm saying, fellas? Look, I know there's a lot of problems in the world. The world's gone to hell and all that sort of stuff. Why does that weird shit happen to me? And I was just like, what do I even do with that? You're a pretty down and out looking character. Is that what it is? I was in my trackies, to be fair. Yeah. You're also like a shocker for cutting in line. Yeah, you are. And also, have you heard of a phenomenon where you bump into your future self? Maybe that's what's happening. Maybe I am bumping into future Hoody J. He'd never really heavily voiced me. And he's not happy with you.

34:33Keyzie:And he's not happy with me. The Hauraki Big Show. Weekdays from four on Radio Hauraki. New order there on the Radio Hauraki big show this Tuesday evening. Now, fellas, we need to have a discussion after 6 o 'clock. We're heading down to Tauranga tomorrow. There's going to be a bit of hot tub action. I have some concerns. Right. Why are you looking at me when you say that? No, I just know how people get in hot tubs, especially you, Kezi. What do I get in hot tubs? What do I do in hot tubs? Christchurch. Christchurch, have a few beers. All I did was hop in the hot tub. I didn't do anything wrong.

35:06Keyzie:With your mate. Things happen. Oh, my God. This is such. I thought you were talking about the black clash. This is a yarn from four years ago. No, it's not. It's not just that. There's other things that I have concerns about. Oh, okay, sure there are. I'm sure there are, yeah. So we'll need to get into that after six o 'clock. What else are we getting into, by the way? There's so much stuff going on, Jase, including how you can win free tickets to the Dunedin Bear Festival. Oh, yeah, that's good. By naming a delicious bear. You excited for that, Moogie? I'm thrilled about that, man. I'm really excited.

35:38We've had some great stuff come in. And my favourite so far is Tony on all fours. That's not coming. That's not even a... It's a great one. The other one is Midnight Steamer. Yes. The other one is Keezy's Midnight Steamer. Yeah, that was a good one. The other one is Keezy on all fours looking over his shoulder. Yeah. So none of those came in. And if no one could go log in at hauraki.co.nz and submit those, that'd be great.

35:58Keyzie:There was another one, actually, that I really liked, Tony over shoulder. Okay. Which I thought was quite catchy. You've got to go to ads.

36:06The Hauraki Big Show with Jace, Mike and Keezy. Tune in. Weekdays at 4 on Radio Hauraki.

36:12Keyzie:Welcome back, you massive backbones. Hope you're surviving your Tuesday tickety-boo. You're listening to The Big Show, brought to you by Reburger. Jason's voice is cooked, by the way. Serving good times and good food. Dine in or takeaway at Reburger today. Yummy. You were saying, actually, Mogi, you had some over the weekend. I did, man. I had some over the weekend, and it was delicious. Yeah, it was good, eh? It was actually the perfect amount. I didn't overdo it. Normally I get a bit excited and I overroar, but I just went over order. But instead of doing that, I just went with a single burger.

36:42Yeah. And a single chips. I've got to be honest with you because I've noticed particularly

36:48Keyzie:Keezy's generation tend to do this. They don't do one burger. Mm, mm, mm. You know, for me, I go, okay, I'm ordering some takeaways. I'll get a burger. But it's quite common. And, you know, when we go on tour and stuff, I notice the fellas get two or three burgers. Yes. And you included in that, actually. And I'm like, what kind of animals are you? I just think, generally speaking, Kesey, and I don't know how you feel about this, but your general sort of man-sized human will normally go for more than one. Is that true? If you're eating shitty takeaways, yeah. You know what I mean? If you're eating fast food drive-in type stuff.

37:25Yeah. The burgers are getting way smaller. They are. And they cost more. They cost so much. And once upon a time, it was called big something and like, you know, large this. You get them and they're tiny. So, of course, you have two burgers.

37:36Keyzie:Are the burgers getting smaller or are you getting more massive? A little bit of both. But Reburgers, massive. You know what I mean? Yeah, well, I told you, you get a Reburger, that's a massive meal in one. Exactly. And normally in that situation, I wouldn't even buy fries, but their fries are so good, I just have to. We've actually had an email from Reburger. Yes. They're saying, can Jase please find something else to talk about other than the fries? Yeah, it's actually having a detrimental effect on their business. They think you're taking the piss. Yeah, they're dragging them down. They actually think that it says here, hey, we're actually concerned that Jase hasn't even tried anything other than the fries and that he's just taking the piss.

38:13Keyzie:Can you show me that email, Keezy? Yeah, I'll send it to you. You have to turn your computer on, though. Oh! Tasty. Bit of Metallica. The Hauraki Big Show. Weekdays from four on Radio Hauraki. Rolling Stones here on the Radio Hauraki Big Show this Tuesday evening. Now, fellas, we're off to Tauranga tomorrow. Oh, Tauranga. Tauranga, yeah. Tauranga, yeah. Oh, Tauranga. We're going to the Mount. Oh, Tauranga. We're going to the Mount, Jase, man. We're going to the Mount, Jase. Joey, how's the weather looking for that, by the way? 24 degrees and pure sunshine. It's good stuff. Yeah, whatever. A little bit cloudy.

38:51Yes. But we're going to be at the Mount in a hot tub, so that's sweet as.

38:54Keyzie:Yeah. Now, I know you guys have shared a hot tub together. I just want to tell you right now I'm not getting in the hot tub, okay? Why is that? I mean, I can do other stuff. I'm just not getting in the hot tub. Why won't you hop in the hot tub? I just don't want to get in the hot tub. What's your fear around the hot tub? I've got a bit of chest. I'm a bit chesty, as you can hear, and my throat's a bit sore. I don't want to undress and get wet with a wind whipping across me. Right. Okay, so, I mean, I'll support you fellas in the hot tub. You know, I'll sit between you and Mogi so Mogi doesn't feel, you know, threatened in any way.

39:29Will you support and extend?

39:30Keyzie:I'll support and extend. Okay. But it just seems to me like you're embarrassed about something that you don't actually have a chest issue. What's the issue? We'll hop in the hot tub with us. It's not going to go on social. Well, it will go on social, but. Well, I actually don't like hot tubs. Oh, you don't like them? We'll see how we go. I may. Yeah. I may. Might be really nice and warm, Jase. Yeah, but then you've got to get out in the window. Just you in there with your hat on, your dirty old hat. Actually, there was talk that you'll be dressed up as a lifeguard. Yes. So I must say I'll feel a lot safer knowing Jase is on hand to save me from drowning.

40:03Keyzie:Yeah, well, if you're drowning, you're poked if I'm the lifeguard. I can tell you that much. The reason we're going to be down at the Mount, though, is we're going to be in a hot spring spa celebrating the T20 Black Clash in association with Wolfbrook. It is back for next year, 17th Jan at Bay Oval, and tomorrow, the 17th of September, tickets officially go on sale at blackclash.co.nz. If you're in the Tauranga area, you can come on down to the Mount. We're going to be outside the Surf Club, right on the Mount Maunganui main beach there, and you can play a game of six on the beach. where you just have to hit a six, and you'll get tickets to the Black Clash straight away.

40:34Keyzie:How good. You know, I know that next year sounds like a long time away, and anything could happen. There's a lot of water to go under the bridge. A lot of things up in the air, Kesey. That's true, but let me tell you, if you want to go to this Black Clash, make sure you get tickets, because they sell out real fast. It's a big night. It is a huge night. Joining us down at the main beach, though, Neil Wagner, who's debuting, actually, for Team Cricket. It'll be good to see him throwing some heat down. and also Kieran Reid plus Mayor of Tauranga, Mahir Drysdale, is going to be popping down for a yarn too.

41:05How bloody good, man. That's real good. Yeah, mate. That's some quality individuals. Can we get any – why is it so male-focused, Keezy? Why did you organise those guests? Well, just because everyone that plays in the Black Clash is a dude. Right, okay. I mean, I didn't organise any of it, to be honest.

41:18Keyzie:You know, you do realise that women play cricket too, though. Well, no, no. I love the White Ferns. I'm a big fan. Yes. Yeah, yeah. Yeah, big Amy Satterthwaite guy. Oh, yes. Yeah, is she still playing for them? Jase? No, I think she's retired, actually. You wouldn't even know, man, because you don't like women's sport. Excuse me. Excuse me. It's disgusting, man. Honestly. Mogi, she's still playing, eh? Look, I'll be honest with you. I don't know, man. She's retired. Yeah, there you go. Jase has told you right there. She is retired. Well, she'd love to get involved in the Black Clash, so could you just give her a chance, Gideon?

41:56100 % she'd be great.

41:57Keyzie:Just because she's retired doesn't mean she can't jump in the spa with us, is what I'm saying. Oh, that's a bit creepy, Jase. Now it's become us. Now it's become us. Oh, Jase is in the spa now. Oh, you're in the spa now. Amy's there. Oh, I'd just be beside the spa. Oh, yeah. Helping people in. Blackclash.co.nz from tomorrow. Tickets are officially on sale. If you're in the Bay Plenty area, come down if you want some freebies to the Mount Maunganui Surf Club. We'll be in a hot tub there. Can't wait. The Hauraki Big Show with Jase, Mike, and Kesey. Tune in weekdays at 4 on Radio Hauraki. Oasis there on the Radio Hauraki.

42:29Keyzie:Big show this Tuesday evening. Now, we need your help, New Zealand, to name our bear because we're going to the Dunedin Bear Fest the end of the year. Was it November, fellas? That's right, November 7th and 8th. The festival's on at Forsyth Bar. We'll be there on the 7th, which is the Friday, Broadcasting Live. Yeah. How good. That's right. That's going to be epic. I mean, the last time we were in Dunedin, I mean, I felt like a rock star, man. They literally had people out the door, down the street, wanting to see the big show live. Oh, that's right. There was a line for people to see us, and it was in the middle of winter.

43:02It was, yes. So I think November, it'll be so hot down there, Kesey. It'll be heaving. Yeah, man. Are you Dunedin, Jase? Pardon? Are you Dunedin? No. Okay. What about you, Moggy? Are you Dunedin? I don't think so, Kesey. Dunedin, these nuts. I got you, you suckers. Oh, I see. Okay, yeah, good. So listen, fellas, just back over here, if you don't mind. We've teamed up with Emerson's. They've made a hazy pale ale specifically for the Dunedin Craft Beer and Food Festival. It's made in collab with Hauraki and The Big Show, and it needs a name. All right, people are entering their name suggestions by going to hauraki.co.nz.

43:36I've got a few of them through here if you'd like to hear some. Yeah, sure, man.

43:40Keyzie:I still love the Midnight Steamer. Yeah, I like Midnight Steamer as well. Hopefully that one wins. So you've got the Backbone Brew, which I think we've done before. Yes, we have. Yeah, that feels familiar. We've done that with a different brewery. That's right. The Hazy Backbone. Ho-Razy. No. It's like Hodaki and Hazy. Oh, yeah, that's terrible. No, that's awful. Well, if we're just going to dis - Well, if they're not good enough, we're not going to pretend like they're good enough. Can you delete that one? We need to know what standard they need to be up to. So can you take that entry out and rip it up and chuck it in the bit?

44:10No, I'm not. It's a pretty - Yeah, yeah, I'll do that. Yeah. Okay. The Big Show Brewers Droop. I think that's a good one. Brewers Droop's pretty good. Yeah, I like that. What about this one? Hazy you fellas, but with haze instead of hay. Yeah, that's a no as well. Yeah, that's a shocker. Guys, what are you looking for? I mean, these are just people. Is there any mention of Tony in there?

44:31Keyzie:Yeah, I like the Tony ones and the steamer ones. Well, there's one here that says Hazy Tony's Cajones. Yeah, that's it. But that's nothing to do with. That's great. The Big Joe Suck It Hard Hazy Pale Ale. Oh, yeah, right. Yeah, Suck It Hard. I like that too. Sucking it hard. Suck It Hard IPA. Go to hodaki.co.nz, enter there. It's a competition too, so if you win, not only will you name our beer, you'll also get flights and accommodation and tickets for you and a mate to join us at the Dunedin Craft Beer and Food Festival. And if you don't want to risk it, head to dunedinbearfest.co.nz to get your tickets.

45:06How good. Do you guys want some Stone Temple Pilots? Yeah, I think so. The Hodaki Big Show with Jace, Mike and Keezy. Tune in weekdays at 4 on Radio Hodaki.

45:17Keyzie:Yes, indeed, the exponents there on the radio. Hauraki, big show this Tuesday night. Fellas, you guys are both experienced with something that I'm currently experiencing, which is a house full of women. Oh. Yes. Because, Jase, your daughter and your wife live with you. Yes. Mogi, same. And previous to that, Kese, my other three daughters as well. So you had five women in your house. Yes. So I currently have two women in my house. So it's me, Lucy, and her cousin. who's come up to stay with us as well. They're about the same age. Why is she staying there? She's just up visiting for work, so she was like, oh, we can either stay at a hotel or we were like, no, come stay with us.

45:57We? Well, yeah, me and Lucy, my wife, yeah, we were like, yeah, come stay with us. No, she said we could either stay at a hotel. Is there two of her? Oh, no, there's only one of her. Oh, okay.

46:06Keyzie:And she's the same age as your wife? I think so. Okay. I think there's only a few months in it, yeah, yeah. Have you been through her wallet? You have a look at her driver's license. That'll tell you how old she is. I could just ask her. I don't want to go through her wallet. It'd be weird after all these years that you don't know how old she is. It would make more sense to go through her wallet. Or her phone. Right. But, I mean, it doesn't really matter how old she is, though, right? I don't need to know. Well, just so people ask you on the right, just in terms of painting the picture on the radio show here, we need to know vague sort of age, height, weight, hair colour.

46:39Wow, she's blonde. I mean, she's the same height as my wife. I don't know. What's that? I don't know, like five something, five nine. Five nine, okay. Maybe, I don't know. But I mean, it doesn't matter what she looks like and stuff. It was more like, hey, I'm experiencing what it's like to have a house full of women. That was more the angle I was going to.

47:00Keyzie:Well, you know, I don't know if it's a house full of women. It's two women. It's two women. Oh, we've got a small house, Jase. Yeah, well, is that why you never invite me over? No, hang on, you never invite me over. Guys, try and find me. Yeah, hey, not now, come on. Oh, sorry. It was more just like, you know, do I have to, you know, because whenever someone comes over, we've got to pretend that we, as Mogie, you've touched on before, you've got to pretend that you live in a show home. Yes. That's like amazing. Yes. And so like the beds are made like I've never seen them made before, like a hotel.

47:29Yeah.

47:30Keyzie:And you've got like 10 cushions on them. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Towel. Towel. Towel folded up. We've got special guest towels. You also have to tie me. Hang on. Towels. We've got special guest towels which are folded up and rolled up. And then we have their own flannel too, which is rolled up. and you crisscross them like that and you sit them on the end of the bed. Yeah, my wife does that as well. What I find really tricky in that sort of situation is timing your steamers. You know what I mean? Why do I time them? What time am I trying to get? I mean, you don't literally time you doing a steamer. I just mean you don't want to drop a kesey bomb and then have her come in straight after you is what I'm saying.

48:08And then do the old, oh, shit, you might want to give that a second.

48:11Keyzie:You know, I mean, you can get away with that with your wife. but not when you've got an attractive guest. I didn't say she was – what do you mean attractive? Oh, she's ugly, yeah. No, I didn't say she's ugly. Well, it doesn't matter if she's good-looking. I'm not going to go on air. You shouldn't be able to tell anyway because you're married. But what you probably want to do is – because you've got an en suite, haven't you? No. Oh, you've got one toilet. We've got one bathroom and one toilet in that bathroom. You know, if you had any kind of pride, you'd drop a bomb in the morning and just leave it there just so she knows what up.

48:41The Hauraki Big Show with Jase, Mike and Kesey Tune in weekdays at 4 on Radio Hauraki

48:53Keyzie:Well there you go you mad bastards that's a big show done and dusted this Tuesday Yeah Make sure you tune in tomorrow actually it's going to be an interesting show from the hot tub in down in Pauranga I want you to go home and just rest the voice Jase because we need you in tip top form tomorrow when we're in the hot tub alright Yeah, okay, sure. I mean, I'm just being serious. I'm not taking it to piss or anything. No, I would never suspect you'd do that, Keezy. No, no. Now, listen, in the podcast outro, which is a warm-up to the radio show, it's a separate podcast. What's the clip today, Keezy?

49:24Good question, Jase. This is called Disappearing, and it comes out at 7.30 tonight. Wherever you get your podcast from, just search Hauraki Big Show.

49:32Keyzie:But I did fit, you know, I got my stove level yesterday on your advice. I did adjust the feet there. So where's Jase gone? I tell you what, if it wasn't for Keezy, my house would fall apart. No, I don't want to be associated with your house and keeping it up. Yeah, he's great with the practical tips. What happened in that clip? Was that literally just an adjustable feet clip? I'm looking at Pugs right now. Pugs, you jump on for a sec. Was that clip we just heard literally just Jase saying he adjusted the feet on his stove? Oh, my God, it's not working. Yeah, because it didn't really make sense with the title of the thingy as well.

50:09disappearing. You see what I'm saying? Yeah. I guess it makes it a good mystery and people will just have to listen to the podcast to find out what was going on. What was the clip, Pugs? Did you catch the bit where you say where did Jase go? At the end of that clip? No. No, can we play it again? Yeah, right, here, here.

50:27Keyzie:But I did fit, you know, I got my stove level yesterday on your advice. So I was fine, just adjusted the feet there. So where's Jase gone? Oh, where's Jase gone? Because his voice changed into, yeah, sorry. Oh, okay. I thought what had happened there, because we did auditions to take my place now that my voice is rooted. And I think Pugs' head is already there. Fellas, just quietly. Yeah, yeah. I mean, he's just like... Just inching you closer to the door, James. He's dreaming of the anchoring the big show. Yeah. You'll do a great job too, Pugs, huh? Bit of tofu chat, man. Yeah, bit of tofu. Are you going to be in the hot tub with us tomorrow, Pugs?

51:03No. No? Yeah, could be keen. I've got to press your buttons, though. Yeah, in the hot tub. You can press my buttons anytime. Yeah, man. You can get that in the hot tub, bro.

51:11Keyzie:Turn that hot jet on for old hoodie, Jay. Yeah, man. Hey, Nelson, go and check out the podcast. Go and check out the Instagram. Until tomorrow, we'll see you later, eh? See you then. Bye. Bye.