FULL SHOW: Return of the Connie

10:52Mike Minogue:look obviously it's great that you've made this commitment but is there a part of you that's like wow maybe next year I haven't timed it great no that's a shocker The trouble is, Kesey, I've got a lot of work to do, man. And I can't do it if I'm constantly pissed up or hungover. Yeah. So we'll see how I go anyway. But the trick that I've decided to employ is you get – so this is a sign that it's a 50th. Started at midday. Great. I like that. The kids were being looked after elsewhere. They were coming home at 8. Party finish at 8, you have to get out. Yeah. So a 50th is 12 to 8. Every other party starts at 8, finishes whenever.

11:31In the morning at some point. But when you get to 50, this is what you do now. And I was 100 % on board for it. So my trick was it starts at 12, I get there at 12.

11:41Mike Minogue:First one there. So I just want to be there when things aren't out of control. So I want to get there, first one through the door, have a bit of quality time, and then I was gone two hours later. So I was gone by two. And I didn't say goodbye to anyone. I just walked out the door. You've got to do this 30 more times.

12:00Keyzie:That's the Horty J method.

12:02Mike Minogue:No, the Horty J method is not to go. Or not to go at all. But I am going to more and more things.

12:08Keyzie:And also it's really nice in that scenario to have an end time. Yes. And, you know, I used to fret a lot about leaving a party and not saying goodbye and all that sort of stuff because I found saying goodbye could take up to a bloody hour in itself. So I'd be like, okay. But what I realised is that most parties, people are pretty much pissed anyway, and they don't even remember you leaving. They don't notice at all. But I completely agree. But if you are going to say goodbye, you start your goodbye by the front door. Yes. Don't start your goodbye on the other side of the party and you've got to make your way through it.

12:41You start right by the door and then you're out. Right. You're gone. So it worked pretty well. I was in and I was out and I was home not too long after that. They ended up going through my mate to about 1 o 'clock in the morning. Great. After most people had left, he kept on going and then was back into it again yesterday. Which is what happens. Which is what happens.

13:05Keyzie:How's Jimbo shaping up? Is he in good nick? Jimbo is in good nick, actually, considering how much piss he puts away. Yeah. But he's had a lot of training. But I'm pretty happy with that. I'm pretty happy with that. But I am keen for any advice on 3483 about how I can make sure that I stay sober for the year. Now, I'm sure there'll be some advice saying just harden up, get on the hammer, what are you doing, you're a goose, that sort of stuff.

13:33Mike Minogue:Piss up or shut up, that kind of stuff. Yeah, that was going through. Yeah, maybe on 3483. That's all G though. Responsibly, whatever you do. Yeah. And also, Jase, the issue with whenever you say goodbye at a party is you insist on having this music playing. And you stand up on a chair

13:53Keyzie:Well I just find Keezy In that scenario Well there you go

13:56Mike Minogue:You mad bastard You get to say goodbye

13:59Keyzie:To everyone all at once That's right You know what I mean You don't have to go Individual by individual By individual It drives me nuts The goodbyes

14:05Mike Minogue:You could stand up on a chair And just go Everybody I'm leaving See ya You'd love that kind of attention Wouldn't you Jase Oh I'd love it Yeah The Hauraki Big Show With Jase, Mike and Keezy Tune in weekdays at 4 on Radio Hodaki.

14:19Keyzie:Soundgarden there on the Radio Hodaki. Big show this Monday afternoon. The time is 4.41. And we've got our league correspondent, the backbone, the legend, that is Charlie Gubb on the line. G'day, Charlie, you mad bastard. How's life? Hoody, you mad bastard, you big spunk bubble. Yeah, that's true, man.

14:39Mike Minogue:Life's good, man. Life's good, it's been pretty hectic today, so I had some big wins over the weekend.

14:45Keyzie:You did. You had some big wins. No, Wellington did, and you know how it wins in Portaloosa.

14:51Mike Minogue:Oh, wind.

14:52Keyzie:Yes. Oh, yeah, yeah, gotcha, gotcha. I've got a bit of a bone to pick with you, actually. Charlie. Charlie. Old Mogi. Mogi sent me a picture that you had sent him, I presume, over the weekend, and I stupidly had a look at it while I was eating my baguette. and I'm not happy, Charlie. I'm not happy with the images that you're sending to old Mogi.

15:19Mike Minogue:Yeah, well, that's just one of the perks of the job. I thought I'd share it with my old mate Mogi. Well, me and Charlie have known each other for a little while now and he's invited me into, he's got a group called Gubbs Grogan's. And every week he'll send in the best Grogan that's been put in one of his portaloos. and there's about probably 3 ,000 or 4 ,000 in the group, Charlie, and, jeez, it's a treat. I look forward to it every Monday. No, yeah, there is. I don't really reveal what sites I get them from or everyone will be turning up there the next day. And just for those listening that don't know, Charlie runs Porter King, which is a Portaloo rental service down in Wellington there.

16:00Mike Minogue:Get in touch if you ever need anything. Charlie, the reason we're having a yarn to you today, mate, is obviously to catch up on the latest of Gubbs Grogan's, but also there's been some big news around State of Origin. Firstly, they announced that State of Origin is officially coming to Auckland next year. Is that something you're fizzed for? I reckon it's good. I've been listening to... I had ZB on. I hate ZB. I'm a hierarchy man, but I had ZB on all day for some reason, and a few losers ringing up that don't like the idea of it, but I think it's good. Do you reckon it'll be successful, Charlie?

16:34Mike Minogue:Because, I mean, obviously it's like an Australian, and it's the highlight of the Australian League calendar. It is bigger than NRL. Maybe the grand final comes close. Do you reckon they'll flock over here for it? I reckon people will come over, but I reckon there's enough hardcore fans in New Zealand that it's going to sell out pretty quick. I don't know if it's going to be a regular thing. I think it's cool that they're trialling it. Success is, what's that word? What's that? What's the word I'm looking for? Success is cool. Not cool. Success is cool. Yeah, success is cool, man. 100%. Couldn't say it.

17:13That's a good point, Charlie.

17:15Mike Minogue:Objective. Yeah, that's right. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. And did you watch the trial match there on Saturday? Charlie, we played against the Manly Seagulls. I watched it. It wasn't great. It wasn't great. It's a trial match. Yeah. And, you know, relatively injury-free. So it's just got the first one out of the bout. Hopefully a bit of improvement on the next one. You've got to remember these guys have just been training, and that's the first real hit out, and it was lots of different combinations and stuff like that. So don't get too down on us. I reckon we'll be back. Yeah, I think we will be as well.

17:53Mike Minogue:Yeah, Mogi's already off the wires for maybe next year. Maybe next year he'll be here. Yeah, maybe. That's what he jizzed. Charlie, another question too, mate. They've changed the rules around state of origin and who can represent now. Formerly, you had to play for Australia if you played in State of Origin. Now it's official. It doesn't matter which international country you play for. You can still play State of Origin if you did, in fact, play in the clubs within New South Wales or Queensland while coming through. I personally am very excited about that change because it means your Tongas, your Samoas, the Kiwis now will be a lot stronger.

18:27Mike Minogue:You're a bloke who was around the fringes of State of Origin for a long time there, man. How do you feel about that change?

18:33Keyzie:Yeah, no, I was. Thanks for bringing that up. I was, actually. Whatever, Charlie.

18:40Mike Minogue:You big bundle of sticks.

18:47Mike Minogue:I think it's good. I'm putting my serious hat on. The game's kind of changed. You've got a lot of second and third generation people living in New Zealand and Australia that might have heritage to the island countries and stuff like that. that world's changing. So you just got to get all the times, and I don't think it's only going to make the product better. You know, you're going to have better players playing. 100%. Couldn't have said it better myself, Charlie.

19:12Keyzie:Yeah, great stuff, Charlie. Thanks for that, mate. And can you add me to Charlie's Grogan's chat? Gub's Grogan's. Oh, Gub's Grogan's.

19:21Mike Minogue:Someone's got a leaf for you to come in. The worst part is the photo that Mogi sent to our group chat, my phone is set to auto-download, and so I've now still... Sure it is, brother. It is. So now I've got a photo of a massive portal who Grogan's saved to my library. Thank you very much for chatting, Charlie. We'll chat to you once the Warrior season's up and running, mate. Legend. Have a good one, fellas. Good on you, mate.

19:46Keyzie:Good on you, mate. Here's the pixies.

19:48Mike Minogue:The Hauraki Big Show. Weekdays from four on Radio Hauraki.

19:52Keyzie:Yes, indeed. The Arctic Monkeys there on the Radio Hauraki Big Show this Monday afternoon. The time is 4.53. Let's talk TV. What's on the telly with Mike Minogue?

20:08Yeah. Fellas, I want, oh, yeah. How'd that go? All G. Loved it. Hey, fellas, I watched a new documentary that's come out on Netflix called Deeper. Deeper, fellas. And it's about a guy who's a caver. He's a deep, he's a deep, he dives in water that is in caves. Dude, you got no idea. He's an Australian fella there. And he comes to New Zealand because there's a huge cave, which I had never heard of. And I know my caves. It's one of the things I pride myself on knowing about. What's your favourite cave? Nick?

20:50It's called the Pierce Resurgence, this cave. And it goes down hundreds and hundreds of metres. And it's a bit of a maze of different caverns and rooms and tunnels and things. but goes very, very deep. This fella here, this Aussie fella, he's also an anaesthetist, happens to be, and he's got another mate who's also an anaesthetist as well. And they're both deep-sea, deep-cave-diving fellas, and that just happens to be what their job was. When in 2017, or whenever it was, or 13, they had those 12 Thai kids, schoolchildren, and their teacher were caught. The football team. Yeah, they were caught in a cave over in Thailand after it flooded and they were two kilometres deep.

21:37Not a great place to be. No. So they got these Aussie guys in over there and their plan was, well, what about if you're going to have to knock these kids out and they're going to have to be unconscious and you're going to have to bring them up to the surface. Now, their concern was, of course, that they might drown in the process and they wouldn't know that their goggles or their breathing apparatus had filled up with water because they're unconscious, they wouldn't react in any kind of way. Anyway, long and the short of it was they got them out completely successfully. The problem that they have when you get really deep is that you end up getting nitrogen in your bloodstream, which completely roots you to certain depth.

22:13This Australian guy in this documentary, he invents the idea of once you get to 200 metres below the surface, you then start breathing in hydrogen. And that would negate the effects of the BEMs. Never been trolled in the history of the world. This is a claustrophobic, horrendous documentary. Really interesting, guys. But the pressure that it puts on family to achieve something. I mean, you've got these explorers down through history, right, that don't care about anybody else's feelings and do what they want. Nail-biting stuff. Really tense, tense stuff towards the end there. Highly recommend. I reckon Four Bussies is fair.

22:53Yeah, it's not exciting all the way through, but pretty amazing guys. Yes. But guys that managed to test the boundaries of something like this. Unreal.

23:02Mike Minogue:I watched another documentary on that cave rescue. Right. And originally they tried drilling down from the surface to try and find it, and they drilled a whole heap of holes, and they would take ages to get down. They finally got one that went near a cavern where these people were underground, and the original plan was to get them up through the tiny hole that they had drilled and just stuff like that. Horrid. Yeah. Horrific.

23:24Keyzie:That's the stuff of nightmare for me. The idea of going underwater in really skinny little caves is probably my biggest fear. They do this thing in this where you're in water, so you're freaking out. But what they have is when they resurface, right, because they've gone so far down, they have to spend 12 hours acclimatizing back to the surface. So they have these little huts that have air in them. The first one is at 28 metres from the surface, and then there's another one at 16 metres from the surface, and they have to spend hours in these little containers that are like those plastic pallet-y container sorts of things.

24:05Oh, no. Unbelievable. It was taking everything I could not to keep picking up my phone to distract myself from what was happening on the screen. Horrible. Yes.

24:16Keyzie:Well, great stuff, Mogi. I'll maybe give that a little look tonight. Heaps coming up after 5 o 'clock, though, Keezy, isn't there, mate?

24:23Mike Minogue:Certainly is, man. Don't forget to listen out for the Reburger sting. You can get yourself a$50 Reburger voucher, plus a little update on the Winter Olympics too.

24:30Keyzie:Great stuff, mate.

24:34Mike Minogue:The Hauraki Big Show with Jase, Mike and Keezy. Tune in weekdays at 4 on Radio Hauraki.

24:40Keyzie:Welcome back, you massive backbones. Hope you're surviving your Monday. You're listening to The Big Show brought to you by Reburger.

24:46Mike Minogue:Handcrafted burgers, loaded fries and gourmet eats that will change the game. Oh, yummy.

24:57You don't like that one, Jase? No, not so much. Can you play that again? Oh, yummy.

25:03Keyzie:Yeah, it's good. I like it. Yeah, I like it. Okay, well. Why don't you like it? Oh, I don't know.

25:08Mike Minogue:It's just. I just think you're being picky for the sake of it.

25:10Keyzie:Well, no, it just feels a little bit half-assed.

25:13Mike Minogue:No, that's great. He's tried really hard with that one. It sounds sort of like this one.

25:19Keyzie:To be honest, it's great I just have a bit of an issue with Pugs at the moment Which we're going to address very shortly by the way Because I don't know if you guys can tell But I'm fuming I can tell man, you're breaking out I am fuming And if you're just joining the show by the way Something horrific has happened to us And we're all breaking out in massive Massive zits And I don't know why Stress maybe Like normally Keezy has lovely skin But it's just shocking at the moment It is a shocking state of affairs

25:55Mike Minogue:Your pimples are the worst out of all of us Jase, they are Like you can barely see mogies And I looked in the mirror when I went wee's before And mine's not even that bad

26:04Keyzie:Keezy's stoked Well when I look at you across the studio desk I thought I was seeing double there Two heads Because I have a small zit

26:15Mike Minogue:on my forehead.

26:16Keyzie:Hey, but also, we've had some correspondence from Matt Heath.

26:20Mike Minogue:We certainly have. We'll be getting into that later on as well. For once, instead of us giving out the advice, we asked someone else some advice. Yeah, we did. For you, Jase, actually. Oh, good. For another physical ailment you're dealing with.

26:30Keyzie:How do you feel about kicking off with a bit of pearl jam? I love it.

26:34Mike Minogue:Yeah, good. The Hauraki Big Show with Jase, Mike and Kesey. Tune in weekdays at four on Radio Hauraki.

26:40Keyzie:Yes, indeed. The Black Keys there on the Radio Hauraki Big Show. this Monday afternoon. The time is 15 minutes past five o 'clock. And, fellas, if you don't mind, I have a raging bone to pick. I got a bone to pick. Who with? And with that in mind, we have Pugs in the studio with us. Ooh, it's Pugs. G'day, fellas. Here he is. Now, I like to think, fellas, that we have certain standards on this show. Yeah. And I'd like to think also that, you know, we've got each other's backs. 100%, Jase. You know what I'm saying? 100%. We're one team, man. We look out for each other. We've got each other's backs.

27:25Keyzie:Yeah. So you can imagine my horror when yesterday, I believe it was, I look on the Instagram page, whereupon Pug Sun has published the most disgusting, foul picture of me on the Instagram account to our millions, our millions of followers. Was it that one? Yes, Mogey. Oh, my God, that is terrible. And you've blown it up, which makes it look even worse.

28:03Mike Minogue:Honestly, Jase, I look at that photo and feel free to go have a look, Hauraki Big Show on Instagram. I think you've never looked better.

28:11Keyzie:Truly, I was on the couch when I saw that. There was a bit of effing and jeffing going on and hoity Jase a pug. Mogi, would you stop doing that?

28:19Mike Minogue:Mogi's just showing photos of massively zoomed in schnozzers.

28:23Keyzie:Now, not only was it, you know, it was in an unflattering moment when I'd taken my hat off, Pugs on it also Fiddled with it and put some kind of Weird lens on it to Elongate my face Even further and to fully Accentuate My massive snozz

28:44Mike Minogue:What say you pugs? Hello Jase You watched me walk in the studio door You took off your Re-burger cap that you were wearing at the time And you were plagued by hat hair which you proceeded to accentuate with your own hands to give yourself what I can only describe as almost a middle part but quite flat. You then watched me take out, because if you look at the photo, you're actually looking into the camera. So you watched me take my phone out of my pocket, place it directly in front of your honker and take a photo. You say directly in front. You were standing about two metres back.

29:23Keyzie:And can I also say that just because you take a photo of us, you've got a picture of my photos. But are you going to publish that? I don't think so.

29:33Mike Minogue:Some things remain sacred.

29:34Keyzie:You know what I mean? And it's like, well, come on, you can't throw your colleagues under the humiliation that I've had to endure. You know, and I think back to Kesey. No, no, no, let's just keep it on the scale. Kesey's outrage when he did the hot box debacle. When he did the hot box video.

29:55Mike Minogue:The fun hot box. That's right. Come on, Pugs-san. This is nothing like that. This is Pugs has deliberately taken a photo of you and managed to find a very unflattering angle, and he's uploaded it. Somehow. You're showing your whole face in it. Somehow. No filter, just by the way. Yeah. No filter on the photo. And he hasn't given you a warning that he was going to do it? No. Ultimately, I think, Jase, the impressions speak for themselves. It's got over 800 likes here. What's amazing about that is it's been shared very few times. People are like, yeah, I'll like it, but I don't want anyone else to see it.

30:29Keyzie:Well, I liken it to Charlie Gubb sending you a Grogan picture. That's why people aren't sharing it. You know what I mean?

30:36Mike Minogue:A photo of your face is the same as a dump in a portaloom. Is that what you're saying?

30:40Keyzie:Now, to even it out, I want you to go and take a photo of Mogi's massive set, and I want it close and I want it very focused and I want it published tonight. Well, the difference, Jase, between these two situations is one of consent. It's one of consent. Now, when Pugs took a photo of you, you consented to the photo. I don't consent. So if you're telling Pugs to ignore the lack of consent, then you're a big and shocking bastard that I've put you for.

31:16Mike Minogue:Honestly People online though They're actually loving it They're loving it man That's the thing JCNZ asks How long have you been Sleeping in a vice?

31:28Mike Minogue:Do you feel bad Pugs? Do you want to apologise? What is it? Do you want to apologise? Yeah what do you want? I think There's a reasonable expectation That when I come in here And take a photo of you And you pose for the photo And you set yourself up For the photo You can probably expect In fact I'm surprised You didn't expect to see it on the story that day. Right, so you think that if you come in and take a photo, you know that it's for social media.

31:49Keyzie:Yep. Get out. Get out, pugs. Jeez.

31:55Mike Minogue:The Hauraki Big Show, weekdays from four on Radio Hauraki.

31:59Keyzie:Yes, indeed, Bush there on the Radio Hauraki Big Show this Monday afternoon. The time is 5.42. Now, regular listeners to the show will be familiar with a little segment we do called Meet Paddy Nap 69.

32:12Mike Minogue:That's right. People can email it at any point, ask a question. It's 100 % anonymous, and you can get a$50 Reburger voucher if we read it out on the show.

32:20Keyzie:It's basically us giving advice, fellas. That's right. And then Mogi had the idea, it was last week, I believe. What about if someone gives us advice sometimes? That's right, because we were running out of entries, weren't we? So we thought to ourselves, well, maybe it's at the point now where we can start asking some people that we know to give us some advice on the issues that we're having. For example, and in this case, Hoity J is having some terrible issues with his back door. It's a nurse. And we thought to ourselves, who better to give us advice on that than Matt Heath, who's had extensive issues with his bowels.

32:54Mike Minogue:Don't they call him old back door Heath? They have. Yeah, in the past, yeah, yeah.

32:58Keyzie:But I think he's got on top of it. Thus, it makes sense. And can I just say that my nurse is fine? Hemorrhoid hoity. It's just that I was getting affected by Dorito dust.

33:10Mike Minogue:Yeah, so I bought a packet of Doritos, you ate them, and then you claimed that it blocked you up for days. Yeah. And that it was my fault and that you can't eat Doritos and that you might be allergic to Dorito dust. You then asked Matt Heath what you should do about it, and here is Backdoor Heath's official response. Hey, team. Matt Heath here. Valentine's Day evening. Great question about the back end, and you correctly have noted that I have persistent hemorrhoids. I'm not really doing anything about them anymore I'm just more living with them sort of let and let live live and let live kind of approach to my roids at the moment but Hoity J, 100 % correct it's that it's the dust it's the Dorito dust that does it it's chip dust, Dorito dust and like you I just can't I can't stop shoving it in my face.

34:10Mike Minogue:So basically you either get busy living or you get busy dying. And I've got busy living with roids. If you want to do something about it, then just get off the Dorito dust. All right, hope that helps and happy Valentine's Day. Love you.

34:28Keyzie:We'll be your game. So you see it is a thing. I mean, if anyone knows about backdoor stuff, it's Matt Heath.

34:34Mike Minogue:It's backdoor Heath, yeah. Yeah, yeah. Absolutely. So what are you going to do about it?

34:37Keyzie:I'll just get eating Doritos and I'll just live with it, I think, feels. I think that's the one. So maybe buy another packet tomorrow, Keezy.

34:43Mike Minogue:I'm not buying you, no, because you still haven't said thank you. All you did was complain that I made you sick. The Hauraki Big Show, weekdays from four on Radio Hauraki.

34:53Keyzie:She-heart there on the Radio Hauraki Big Show this Monday afternoon. The time is 5.55.

34:59Mike Minogue:Hey, fellas, don't forget this season we've teamed up with the BNZ Breakers and we are running the Backbone Bench. It is a seat for you and three mates. courtside best seats in the house with free food and beverages as well. This Thursday, the Breakers are taking on the Cairns Taipans at Spark Arena up in Auckland. If you'd like to go on the draw to win that prize, text the word bench to 3483 and you can be sitting on the Backbone bench. See you there.

35:22Keyzie:I tell you what, actually, everyone that does that loves it. Yeah, man. You get your beverages, you get your food great right up there in the action, so if you can, get involved.

35:33Mike Minogue:That's right, bench to 3483. Speaking of sports. Yes. Coming up after six, we've got a Winter Olympics update.

35:40Keyzie:That's how sports do. That's the one, yeah, yeah. How do you feel the Olympic sort of section is going? Yeah, the Olympic section. Keezy's Winter Olympics section.

35:50Mike Minogue:I think it's great. I think it has not at all fallen by the wayside. Not at all. It's been every day, hasn't it? Well, one day last week. Well, it was a couple of days. It's when stuff happens. We love it. Yeah, yeah. Yeah, so we'll be bringing that back after six. It's not like an afterthought or like we don't forget about it regularly. Yeah, no. Yeah, Pugs defeated. No, not at all. Forget to put it in the old dock today or anything.

36:09Keyzie:Also, we'll be giving out some advice with our MeatPattyNip69.

36:13Mike Minogue:That's right. If you need advice, MeatPattyNip69 at gmail.com. Get in touch. The Hauraki Big Show with Jase, Mike and Keezy. Tune in weekdays at 4 on Radio Hauraki. Keezy.

36:26Keyzie:It is the bloody big show and you're listening to it. It's brought to you, by the way, by Reburger.

36:31Mike Minogue:Reburger is serving good times and good food. They also offer dine-in or takeaway options.

36:41Keyzie:Back up. Actually, fellas, with you coming over on Friday, why don't we just have Reburger?

36:48Mike Minogue:What, for your housewarming? Yeah. I'm looking forward to you cooking. Because the thing about Liz, here's the thing. Hoity J, A number one, best in the world. Yes, that's right. I finally get to experience it. Oh, my goodness. Can you make that soup you're always banging on about that your daughters apparently love? Chicken noodle soup. Chicken gizzard soup. No, it's not noodle. Yeah, wake up. Just spicy chicken soup.

37:09Keyzie:Can you make that for us? Well, I'll have to. Hurry up. It's usually what I make it after I've had a roast chook.

37:16Mike Minogue:See, I'll bring one. I'll bring one tomorrow. A roast chook? Just from the supermarket. Like in a bag, a bachelor's handbag. Yeah, yeah. Is that all good? Yeah, yeah.

37:24Keyzie:No, because those ones are too, they're very moist, and it doesn't work so well. So you want me to get a dry chicken? It's usually, I have to cook it myself.

37:35Mike Minogue:Right, okay. Yeah, yeah.

37:36Keyzie:What a lot of shit.

37:38Mike Minogue:Yes, Jase, this is a lot of shit.

37:39Keyzie:I tell you what, I'm going to be busy in the kitchen on Friday. Oh, yeah, how so? Just preparing stuff.

37:46Mike Minogue:I think, could you please make us one of your world famous best in the world dishes, please? I'll be shocked if your missus lets you put the plates on the table.

37:53Keyzie:I'm not sure what my best dishes are. Oh, scrambled eggs. Remember I said my scrambled eggs were the best?

38:01Mike Minogue:The best in the world, yeah. Hey, Moggy, Pugs, do you guys want to go around to Hoardy J's and have scrambled ears? That sounds great. No, I'm looking forward to it, though, Jase. I'm having dumpling soup tonight, homemade. Didn't you have dumplings yesterday, you animal? No, I had dumplings last week.

38:16Keyzie:Did you have dumplings today as well?

38:18Mike Minogue:No, I didn't. What are you? The Hauraki Big Show, weekdays from four on Radio Hauraki.

38:24Keyzie:LMNOP there on the Radio Hauraki Big Show this Monday evening. But right now it's time for...

38:31Mike Minogue:What's happening in old Italy at the old Winter Olympics there with me, Keezy? Unfortunately, fellas, not a lot of action for New Zealand. Still just sitting on the two medals. Of course, Zoe Sadowski-Sinnett got a silver. Luca Harrington got a bronze last week. Backbone. Over the weekend, though, we did have Cam Melville, Eves, who was in the snowboard halfpipe final, didn't get a medal. Right. And we've also had Zoe qualified top of the field at the women's snowboard slope style. so hopefully she should get another medal which will be exciting. Can't wait to watch that. But in bigger Winter Olympics news we've actually got old Pugs-san here in the studio with us.

39:10Mike Minogue:Here he is. So unfortunately we're going to have to do quite a lot of sting admin here. Here we go.

39:15Keyzie:Ooh, it's Pugs-san.

39:19Mike Minogue:G'day fellas, how are you? Yeah, good thanks Pugs, man. And the reason we've got Pugs in is because we've got a special Winter Olympics edition of

39:26Keyzie:Sit back and relax because it's time for Connie Chat with your host, Pugsar. I'm Connie. Oh, how good.

39:36Mike Minogue:Connie Chat with Pugsar. Connie Chat with Pugsar. Wow, isn't it? It's been ages. First one in 2026. Yes, I think so. Let me say this. I'm absolutely thrilled. You look stoked, Pugs. I'm fizzing. Usually we don't give you a heads up. No, so I'm grateful for that, at least. So, Pugs, there's been a Connie situation at the Winter Olympics. Who better to speak on this huge issue than you? Lay it on us, brother. Connie correspondent, if you will. Essentially, the Winter Olympics village ran out of their free prophylactics on Valentine's Day. Frangers. Johnnies. Sure. Rubber dogs. Whatever you like.

40:13Mike Minogue:Rubber joeys. Whatever you want them to be. French letters. Haven't heard that one. The demand was higher than expected. But rest assured they are working hard to ensure more Connies are delivered to the Winter Olympic Village. So apparently they had around 10 ,000 there. Which is a lot. So that's a lot. Now, it's not to say that they're always being used for their functional purpose. Teasing normally gets them and he puts them over his head and blows it up. With his honker, eh? Yeah. It's a funny trick. Yeah, I could do that. Obviously, you guys kid him with your honkers. I've lost my train of thought now, but around 10 ,000 there.

40:57Mike Minogue:10 ,000. Now, that sounds like a lot, but that's not as many as the 2024 Paris Summer Olympics because that was around 300 ,000. Obviously, this is a smaller event. Smaller event. So a smaller number needed. There's not many people there. Yes, but essentially there's 2 ,800 athletes. Right. 10 ,000 condoms. All gone. Some are given to mates, like some are souvenirs. Obviously, they're labelled in merchandise or whatever, which is quite cool. They've got the five rings on them.

41:24Keyzie:Five rings on each one. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Can I just say, though, I mean, it's a perfect environment for shagging, isn't it? Because these are athletes in peak condition. Yeah. Feeling good, baby. They're overseas. There's beautiful, gorgeous people walking around. It's just a shag fest. It is. And it's cold over there, too, I'm a man. There must be snow and stuff, so they need to get body heat going.

41:55Mike Minogue:Pucks, can you just confirm, is there snow and stuff at the Winter Olympics? At the Winter Olympics? Yeah. Yes, there is. There is. You're right on the money there, Jase. Yeah, I think so, Jase, which is great. Exactly, yeah. But obviously, yeah, they are hot people at the peak of their game. Their bods are rocking, and there's also all the social events as well that happen when they finish their events. Yes. That would be the one time, wouldn't it, where you can go away to the snow. Everybody's dressed up. They're wearing their big puffer jackets and all of that sort of thing. But if you're at the Olympics, you would know that underneath all of that is a rockin' bod, as you're saying there, Pug.

42:25You're so right. That's good.

42:27Mike Minogue:No one's more chiseled than a curler, you know? Yeah, that's true. Yeah. Also, 10 ,000 Connie's Pugs. Isn't that like one sitting's worth for you? I'm just waiting for that. Do you eat them? Yeah. It did sound like he was eating Connie's, eh? The Hauraki Big Show with Jace, Mike and Keezy. Tune in weekdays at 4 on Radio Hodaki. Guns.

42:52Keyzie:Roses there on the Radio Hodaki big show this Monday evening. Now, fellas, I was pondering, we must be getting pretty close on Radio Hodaki to giving away our magnificent boat.

43:02Mike Minogue:We certainly are, Jase. Are you talking about the fin chaser 535 centred console with the Mercury 60 horse and the Voyager trailer?

43:09Keyzie:That's the one, Keezy.

43:11Mike Minogue:It's all worth over$75 ,000, and all you have to do is name it. We are getting close to giving this sucker away. People have been texting boat to 3483, getting themselves in the drawer. They have. All you have to do is name the damn thing. I've got a few names here to run past you guys just to see what you think. Wet Dreams. Yeah. I mean, it's like generally you assess it and you go, that's not a bad name, but it just doesn't grab you straight away, does it?

43:41Keyzie:No, and it's a little bit juvenile.

43:44Mike Minogue:Right. Fish and teats. And then it says in brackets, farmer's pun. Fish and teats. Instead of squishing teats or pulling teats, you're fishing. Oh. Yeah. I think if you have to explain it. Yeah. I reckon can that one, Casey. Eliminate it. Can you delete the Iran country? Can you delete it, please? That's not how it works. Turn off the internet. Just turn it off and then on again. That should be gone. Smells like fish. Smells like fish. Yeah. I mean, that's pretty good, right? Because obviously whatever they're in the ocean, it's going to smell like fish. Looks like a boat would be another one.

44:20Mike Minogue:Looks like boat. Yeah. Yeah, that's a good note. You should text boat to 3483 Mogey. What about this one here? Five Buzzies.

44:27Keyzie:Yeah, good. Yeah, that's good. Now we're talking.

44:29Mike Minogue:That works for me. Jeremy Swells. Jeremy Swells. They're going to regret that if they win it. It kind of makes sense now, but when they're out on the water. and you're floating around on Jeremy Swells and you could have had looks like a boat. Or five buzzies. Or five buzzies. All right, here we go. I'm just going to run through a whole lot of them. You just say yes or no to them, all right? The Tasty Tentacle. No. The Hauraki Voyager. No. Rub and Tug. Why is the rub there? I have no. Or the Tug. Gills Gone Wild. Yes. Sloppy Seaman. Lazy Seaman. The Seaman. Yes, yes, yes Floaty Boaty Yes Rusty Dog Keithy's Cashies Rubber Ducky Keithy's Cashies Our old mate Keithy Squid Fig That's a reference of four and a half years ago The G Lane Spot The Drunken Sailor Big Bass Bonanza Finn and Ton There's just so many entries here fellas We must be getting up to

45:36Keyzie:Close to a million entries now

45:38Mike Minogue:I'm actually at$3 million.

45:39Keyzie:Oh, okay. Wow. That's incredible. Yeah. And understandable. It's an amazing boat. And it's worth$75 ,000. $75 ,000. Baccaronis.

45:48Mike Minogue:That's right. Text BOAT to 3483. Get yourself in the draw. It's the great Radio Hauraki boat giveaway with fin chaser boats designed by fishermen for fishermen. The Hauraki Big Show. Weekdays from four on Radio Hauraki.

46:09Keyzie:Well, there you go, you mad bastards. That's the big show done and dusted for your Monday afternoon. In the podcast outro, we were basically talking about how hideous we all looked at the moment.

46:19Mike Minogue:Well, mostly you.

46:20Keyzie:Well, mostly me, yeah.

46:22Mike Minogue:As in you were talking. Yeah. We all looked terrible. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Nobody mentioned it, but yeah. This is about fitness, and it comes out at 7.30pm tonight, so give it a search. I mean, fit and walking for 10k. I mean, it's better than nothing, that's for sure. It's more than I do. Yes. F***ing hell. The only reason I want to be f***ed

46:42Keyzie:To get a full erection That won't help Won't it? No

46:47Mike Minogue:You have to f*** a long way to get that going To pump that blood Massive I knew that was going to be the clip Really? Yes I did I couldn't remember a thing about it I think it should be like an honour To be the clip on the show at night Yes It's a positive thing It's like, wow, you said such a great thing about wanting to walk until you could finally get an erection again, and it made the cut. Totally, man.

47:14Keyzie:Totally. Thanks, fellas.

47:15Mike Minogue:Well done, Jase.

47:17Keyzie:It's almost like player of the day. It is, yeah. Most improved player. Yes. Shog and bastard. Hey, Mogi, what's up? What are you doing tonight? I'm going to go to my office. I've got to assemble some shelves. I had a shocker, actually. I should have used this for content. But I went over the weekend. This guy was selling some stuff out of a studio he's got. So I went and bought a whole bunch of it. But today I had to go and hire a truck, pick up these shelves, transport it to the new office, and then I couldn't get the effing things up the effing stairs. So I had to effing take them all apart.

47:45And now I've got to go to the effing office tonight and reassemble the mother effers. And then there's another one that I have to take apart and move it upstairs and then reassemble. So that's what I'm doing tonight, and I am loving it.

47:56Mike Minogue:Jase lives in the city. Oh, that's right. Your office is in the city. Plus, Jase, I know you talk all the time about how you're always shelving. Why don't you give Mogey a hand?

48:07Keyzie:Shelving

48:09Mike Minogue:Why don't you Actually I don't think Jay's helping you with some shelves

48:12Keyzie:It's not going to make it better Mogey I mean I'm happy to help

48:14Mike Minogue:Well you can help me with the effing and jeffing Yeah yeah true Pugs can you go along and film this for Instagram?

48:20Keyzie:Keezy Hello What's for Oh that's right Dumpling soup Deconstructed dumpling soup My wife's making that What about you man what are you having? Bang bang chicken

48:29Mike Minogue:Douche douche chicken Douche douche chicken

48:31Keyzie:Bang bang chicken Doosh, doosh, chicken. Good stuff. Hey, check out the... Was it? Check out the Instagram. Check out the podcast. Good stuff. Till tomorrow. See you later. Bye.