FULL SHOW: Revolutionising Radio

9:26Keyzie:And the last thing that Mogi and I want to do is stifle your wacky ideas, Kesey.

9:33Jase:Yeah, and your creativity.

9:34Keyzie:Yeah, man. I mean, we're a team here, and every idea, you know, has its merit. It does. Thanks, guys. All right, so for example, I might go, oh, Mike, you've got a Tita. Who? What's a Nissan Tita hatchback? Oh, yes. What's in your glove box?

9:52Jase:I don't keep anything in there. Because, Kesey, the Tita is the most stolen vehicle in the country. You think I'm leaving anything in the glove box? It's going to disappear overnight, brother. So, no, I've got literally nothing in there.

10:08Right, so in this case, obviously it wouldn't work because that's...

10:11Keyzie:That's not good. That's what I call shit radio. Yeah, yeah, I mean, that was a terrible bit of radio right there. Hang on. Jase. Yes. Mike is an exception, though. So, for example, you're a caller, Jase, you've called up. Yes. Oh, hello, what have you got in your glove box? Oh, let me have a look there, Kesey, I'll see what's on my glove box. Click. Oh, she's empty. I've got nothing in my glove box either. She's totally... That's a true story. In my door well... We're not playing what's in your door well, Jase. Cheese ball wrappers and Nippy's ice chocolate containers. In my glove box, nada, zip, zero.

10:50Oh, that's weird. What about in your centre console?

10:53Keyzie:Nah, we're not playing. No, we're not. What's on your glove box? All right, okay. Well, how about... Let's go to the lines here and just see... Brayden, are you there, man? Oh, g'day, fellas G'day, Braden, you man-basset How's life? Yeah, not too shabby, how's it going? Yeah, good, mate Hey, Braden, what do you do for a crust, man? Oh, I'm a park ranger Oh, I'm a back bone Wow, good stuff Braden, have you got any contributions you'd like to make towards this segment, man? Yeah, yeah, yeah You have to ask him, hang on a minute, mate

11:25Jase:Sorry, you've got to say What? What's on the glove box with me, Keezy Yeah, no, we'll get to that I think Braden's got some great ideas. So I drive a Nissan Peter. Oh, legend. Yeah, legend. And you know how there's that, like, glove box above the dash? Yeah. It's like the sunglasses holder? Yes. Yeah, yeah, in there I've got the sunglasses. Yeah, that's good. No, no, no, this is why I didn't want to include the sunglasses thing, because of course you do. How handy is that? Yeah, pretty handy. And what kind of sunnies are they, man? They protect your eyes from the light. No, but like the brand.

12:07Jase:I bought them off Timu. Oh, they're Timu sunglasses. So why don't we change the name to What's on the Sunglasses with Me Keezy? Right, so people ring up and then they tell us what's in their sunglasses. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

12:19Keyzie:I think that'll have more traction. Especially in summer. Yeah, totally, man. Be frothing. Hey, but again, Keezy, nice work, man. Nice work. The Hauraki Big Show with Jace, Mike and Keezy. Tune in weekdays at 4 on Radio Hauraki. Hole there on the Radio Hauraki big show this Monday afternoon. The time, 4.37. Fellas, we've teamed up with PGG Wrightson for the big show Big Yarn. It's to celebrate the hardworking farmers that keep this country going. Like, for example, you guys. You'd have a million yarns about being on the farm there, right? Bloody oats, mate. Bloody oats. I'm a mad farmer. You didn't want to share any?

12:57Keyzie:Not right. I don't want to upstage whoever's about to come on.

13:00Jase:Exactly. Like if we start ripping into our farming yards and then you get some poor bastard on the phone line there with his shocker.

13:06Keyzie:Yeah, trying to follow us. And then he gets the prize. Yeah, yeah, right. It's not fair. Okay, fair enough. It's like when you're doing a stand-up gig, you know, and someone goes on before you and kills. Yeah. And then you have to go on and die on your ass. Remember that, Keezy?

13:22Basically, you get your phone out, you text... Mogi, stop cracking up at your own joke there. Get your phone out and text PGG to 3483. We'll send you a link to enter G G to 3483. Send it through. We'll hit you with a link. Follow the instructions. Tell us your yarn and we could be calling you with a PGG rights and prize pack and$100 cash. Oh. All right. We've got Rory on the line. Rory did exactly that. G'day, Rory. How are you doing? G'day, Keezy, mate. How are you? Yeah, bloody good as gold, mate.

13:55Keyzie:God, he sounds like a farmer, doesn't he? I know. I was out the back paddock there just having a go, you know, just sharing one of the bloody ewes. Your dad's all over the bloody place. Yeah, bloody disgusting thing it was, ramming away. But anyway, what's your story, Rory? Oh, well, mate, so growing up I was never really a farmer. I've kind of gone into it now. Yeah. But we were down in old Y-Carrie. I was about 10 years old down south. We were at a mate's farm. And so, yeah, they decided to be a bit generous and chuck me on the farm motorbike for a little spin. Now, coming from the mighty Topo, I'd never ridden anything with an engine on it, but I thought I was going to be the man.

14:36I thought I'd shine with this. I hop on. They say, take it easy. Give it a little twist on the throttle. First, I throttle the left side, so that's the wrong one. Shit start. And then, I threw it before they even finished the bloody sentence. I twisted the throttle like I was Keezy in a brothel, shot off like a rocket, and went bang, straight through the fence. didn't turn didn't break did it hurt I've got one big bloody hole in the fence and since then I've never jumped Rory did it hurt man Keezy I was 10 years old do you think I can remember great yarn Rory I mean there are a few bits and pieces you could have left out there but congrats mate you got that 100 bucks cash and you got yourself a PGG rights and prize pack as well man cheers mate appreciate it have a good one how do you know about that Keezy

15:21Jase:huh how do you know about that about what you and that brothel there Mogi PGG Wrightson make rural living easy. Sort your farm pets and Christmas online at store.pggwrightson.co.nz That's true, they do. Yeah. They're very good. Do you use them, Jase? Pardon?

15:40Keyzie:PGG Wrightson. What about them? Do you use them? Oh, yeah. Hell yeah. When I was farming, I did. Bloody oats. Do you want to throw to this song here? Is this Eddie Vedder, Hard Son? The Hauraki Big Show with Jase, Mike and Kesey. Tune in weekdays at four on Radio Hauraki. Jon Bon Jovi there on the Radio Hauraki. Big show this Monday afternoon. The time is exactly 10 to 5. Let's talk TV. What's on the telly with Mike Minogue?

16:20Jase:Last night I watched the documentary on Netflix called This is Eddie. It's about Eddie Murphy. Eddie Murphy. Eddie Murphy, the comedian and actor and singer. Bloody good it is. He's one of my favourites growing up, and he's an absolute weapon. You've got to say, doesn't drink. Oh, okay. He's never drunk a drop in his life, which is probably why he still looks 30 at the ripe old age of 65. Didn't smoke any weed. Has never done any drugs. Smoked his first joint at 30. Wow. That's impressive. Yeah. And, yeah, he's done some bloody amazing stuff. Absolutely worth a watch if you haven't seen it already.

16:59His, like, immense success. He was the biggest star on the planet.

17:03Jase:He was demand for a long time. So, like, when I was coming up, Dr. Doolittle and the Nutty Professor and stuff were like... Well, that's 20 years after his success. 100%. But, like, he was... It's still going. If there was a funny movie, it was an Eddie Murphy movie. Yeah, totally. And so for him to be that big of a star and to not have had any alcohol or, you know... And not had any bugger-ups either. and that's like didn't get addicted to anything didn't have any big divorces didn't have any blow ups and he's just a really funny nice level dude but the issue with that is the documentary you watch the Charlie Sheen documentary and it's really interesting this guy just off the rails you can say what you like about Charlie Sheen he doesn't have the career that Eddie Murphy has had so his career is in drug taking where Eddie Murphy has had incredible relationships with so many different people and made so much different stuff so that's where the interesting stuff lies with him.

17:58Jase:Just how, yeah. Yeah, whereas with Charlie it's like his career stopped being interesting in 1986. Oh, they had what was it? Two and a half men. One and a half mogies. But four four buzzies out of five. Okay. For me on your Netflix there that is This Is Eddie the Eddie Murphy documentary. Well, there you go.

18:15Keyzie:I watched a movie yesterday afternoon with my wife. Now that. Called Train Dreams. with the great, and I'm a big fan of his Joel Egerton. Egerton. Egerton. You're a big fan. I am a big fan. Egerton. What is it, Noel Egerton? And William H. Macy. William H. Macy, yeah, who's great in it as well. A really beautiful, simple film. There's not a lot of dialogue in it. And it's essentially a love, well, it is a love story. Who between? Between him and a woman. Oh, wow. But it's just so simply told, and it allows the audience to just... It's one of those ones you have to actually settle down into. Right.

19:08Keyzie:And it's just beautifully done. And it's incredibly sad, too. It's very... You get emotionally involved in it. Right. One of the best movies I've seen in quite some time, I would say. What was it called again? It was called Train Dreams. Train Dreams. And I'll give it 4.7 buzzies. Wow. Here he is. Out of five? Just because of its subtlety and it's beautifully shot. Yeah. And there's some lovely performances in it, and it's all very subtle and it's all very quiet. Just like the big show. Yes. Wow. Yeah. Is it cinema? Is it? It's cinema. Absolute cinema. Yeah, it just doesn't over-tell the story.

19:45Keyzie:It's just done very simply. Right. There's a narration throughout it. And often narrations can annoy me. Yeah, like the dog-scored narrator. It didn't in this case. What did you watch that on? Netflix. Yeah, right, okay.

19:58Jase:Dotcom. I've fallen for that before. Oh, yeah. Netflix.com. I watched a TV. www. I watched a TV show last night called Amazing Hotels Life Beyond the Lobby. And it's on TVNZ, but it's good, Jase, because basically there's the best hotels in the world in different countries and they just go to it and show you what it's like and how it all runs behind the scenes. And then they tell you that it's£2 ,000 a night to stay there.

20:24Keyzie:Yeah, so you're never going to stay there. No, but it's just cool. You're living vicariously through the show. 100%, and I'll never stay there unless Boys Trip wants to send us to, you know, which will never happen. Never say never, Keezy. Yeah, right, okay. You know what I mean? But that's on TVNZ and I give it 3.8 buzzies out of 5. Okay, pretty good across the board today. So yours came last, Keezy. Yeah, well, that is just a show about hotels. Fair enough. Here's Jimmy Eat World. The Hauraki Big Show with Jace, Mike and Kesey. Tune in weekdays at four on Radio Hauraki. Jimmy Eat World there on the Radio Hauraki Big Show this Monday afternoon.

21:01Keyzie:The time is 4.57. Now, coming up after five, old Mogey gives us the goss on the big night for actors and directors alike out there, Mogey. You're going to give us the inside goss of what went down. Oh, at the Film Awards.

21:14Jase:That's right, I went to the New Zealand Screen Awards, fellas. For God's sake, get the name right. And it was a night of, yeah, the stars came out to play. Can I say that? The red carpet. The red carpet. Yeah, man. The red carpet. There was a red carpet. So, yeah, we'll be talking about all of that after five there. Also, we'll be announcing the two winners, the two final teams who are going to be joining us for the Kiwipong World Championship. There are only two spots left. We'll be giving them a call after five o 'clock.

21:43Keyzie:Yes, also, after 28 years living in my residence, my wife has had a revelation and it shocked me. Oh, God. The Hauraki Big Show with Jase, Mike and Keezy. Tune in weekdays at four on Radio Hauraki. Yeah, welcome back, you massive backbones. Hope you're getting through your Monday afternoon tickety-boo. The time is five past five o 'clock and you're listening to The Big Show, brought to you by Regberg. Serving good times and good food. dine in or take away Reburg Gear today. Reburg Gear. Yum, yum, yum, yum, yum, yum, yum, yum, yum, yum. Yeah. So good.

22:24Jase:They are good. Did you guys have any?

22:26Keyzie:I actually had some over the weekend. Oh, God, I was going to say. I had a vibe because you had a big Friday.

22:29Jase:I did have a big Friday there and he put the order in with the Mrs. Eden. Now, a mate of mine was staying with me up from Dunedin and he'd never had it before and he started eating the chips there. He was like, geez, these chips are good. Wow. Yeah, man. Well, I know. And then he was like, bloody hell. Yeah, so it was a great success. Yes. And I had my first ever chicken burger from there. I can't remember what it was called, sadly, fellas, but it was bloody good. Yes. Bloody good eating. Yeah, never been disappointed. Isn't that great? It's really great. I mean, I have in my life. Yeah, but not with Reburger.

23:00Jase:But not by Reburger.

23:01Keyzie:Yeah, no, totally. That's the thing about Reburger, you'll never be disappointed when you order it. Well, I don't know if we could just say that as a blanket statement. Yeah, well, yeah. I can. No, but Jase, the thing is we're on the radio, and you can get in trouble. Because you've just said that as a blanket statement and now someone might say, heaven forbid.

23:16Jase:And you can take that to the bank.

23:19Keyzie:Yeah, thank you, Mogi. No, but let's just say by some mistake. You can put your house on it.

23:24Jase:Yeah. No, I get what you're saying. Irresponsibly. Yeah. What if, all right, due to human error. I don't do what if, skeezy. I only do guaranteed. That's a dead cert. But what if, due to human error, They accidentally give the wrong order to someone and then they'll be initially disappointed. You know what I mean?

23:45Keyzie:Well, this is the thing. Even if they did that, you'd still love what you got.

23:48Jase:Because you can't lose, Keezy. This is the thing. Right, okay. It's a sure thing.

23:53Keyzie:Don't be such a negative Nelly, Keezy. Come on, man. Sorry, fellas. I just wanted to cover our asses there. Oh. June. Turn it up. Rage against the machine. Doosh, doosh, doosh, doosh. The Horaki Big Show with Jace, Mike and Keezy. Tune in weekdays at four on Radio Hauraki. Radiohead there on the Radio Hauraki big show this Monday afternoon, but right now it's time for the red carpet with old Moogie.

24:25Jase:Fellas, I went to the 2025 New Zealand Screen Awards. Oh, how good. On Friday night. I'd love to go to something like that. Like you, Jase, I've got a talent management company. Yes. Frank Management, so we took the team along there. Beautiful bloody evening it was. Yeah. Sunny, beautiful outside. I wore a suit. Yeah. Actually, I've had it for almost 20 years. It was the first suit that I bought. I was going to get another one for this one, Keezy, but I thought, no. No, I'm going to use one of the other. In fact, my wife said, why don't you wear that one? You look amazing in that one. I said, you're right.

25:00Jase:I do. I do. Right, cool. My wife wore a yellow dress. Oh, yeah. It was sort of a meshy metal sort of a number. a bloody heavy bath that it was. Well, like armour. Yeah, it was like armour. Chainmail. Yeah, like chainmail. That's right. Now you look bloody beautiful. Anyway, we got there and the stars were out. See, this is what I want to know about. Once I've had a few drinks, you know. Yeah, that's right. So you could get in there through the red carpet, and there was a side you go down red carpet, and that meant everybody could get their photos taken. So we skipped that, and we went straight to the bar.

25:37Keyzie:Oh, yeah, good thinking. Straight to the bar.

25:40Jase:And I started off with a few beers. Yeah, nice. Well, it was a hot day.

25:46Keyzie:From recollection, it was a very hot evening.

25:49Jase:Yeah, right. So I had four beers and my wife had a glass of bubbles. Oh, yeah, classic. Responsibly, obviously. Responsibly, that's right. Then we moved through. So after a while, you know, about 10 minutes, finished those beers off and then went through to our table. Now, it was all seated in there. Yes, nice. With a meal, your entree, your main, and dessert as well, and table service for your booze there. Here we go. I went with a Gimlet Gravels from the Hawke's Bay there as a Syrah. Oh, yeah, very nice, very nice. Absolutely beautiful. And then sitting on the table there waiting for us was the entree,

26:24Keyzie:which was a citrus-cured salmon with herb cream fraiche. Oh, that is absolutely perfect for a hot evening too.

26:32Jase:I finished off with crisp capers and thinly sliced radish, just for a bit of balance and texture. Yeah, a bit of crunch. That sounds great. Yes. Was there anyone like, I thought we were doing the goss on the big stars. All right, well, here's the thing, Keezy. Here's the thing. Next up, I had a Chardonnay. Oh, yeah, lovely. Out of Nelson. Very crisp.

26:51Keyzie:They do a good Chardonnay. They do.

26:54Jase:A slightly, but not as buttery. Yes. A little bit crisper, but very fresh. exactly what I needed to clean my palate just before I started cracking into the main, which was a seared tuna with soy ginger glaze.

27:06Keyzie:Oh, God, this is beautiful.

27:08Jase:You just popped outside after this for a few darts. Yes. Who did you see out there? I bet you saw some famous people out there. And while I was out there, I did actually, Keezy, I saw a waiter and I ordered myself a Negroni.

27:19Keyzie:Oh, yeah, perfect.

27:21Jase:And then as he was walking away, I said, make it too. Oh, Mogi's feeling good. Yeah, yeah, nice. Did you see anyone famous out there? I got back into my table there, and lo and behold, I did, Keezy, I saw a famous mint julep sitting waiting for me on my table. My wife thought I might like one of those. Lovely. She was right, Keezy, she was right. What is that, like a dessert? No, it's a drink. Oh, yes, no, it is a drink, sorry. It's a bourbon-based drink, bloody beautiful. Have you not had one before? No, I haven't. You simply must. By this stage, things started to get a little bit hazy, if I'm honest.

27:53Jase:Yeah, yeah. People won awards. People lost awards. Who won the top award? If you Google it, you'll know more about it than me. I was busy sort of chit-chatting. Then I managed to work my way through an espresso martini, a couple of Moscow mules and a vodka cranberry. Responsibly, obviously. Yeah. But, jeez, they turned it all on for you, man. Yeah, it sounds beautiful. Did you see anyone?

28:16Keyzie:Can I ask Ree the tuna? Because I had a tuna not long ago. It was overdone. Yeah.

28:21Jase:Was it beautifully cooked? Well, it was. And I think the secret was they finished it with a toasted sesame seeds and a drizzle of the old ponzu there. And then, of course, we went home. We took some mini lemon and almond cakes with us. Served with a dollop of vanilla mascarpone, I think it was. Would that be right? Yes, mascarpone. And a spoonful of the seasonal fruit compote there. So that was pretty good. Pretty good all in all. So that was it. Great evening, mate. Great evening. Did you see anyone famous? Did any gossip happen at all, or was it just... Well, a lot of people were sort of bagging the Hawke's Bay Pinot Noir.

29:02Keyzie:Yeah, which is harsh, because I think I've heard it's quite nice.

29:05Jase:They were talking a lot of shit about that while they were railing up in the old paraplegic toilets there. Yeah, right. Yeah. But to be honest, it wasn't the goss I thought I'd get, but I feel like I was there, though. Yeah, man, you should come next year. I got you a job as a waiter. The Hauraki Big Show with Jace, Mike and Kesey. Tune in weekdays at four on Radio Hauraki.

29:29Keyzie:The Rolling Stones there on the Radio Hauraki Big Show this Monday afternoon. The time is 5.29. Fellas, something happened to me on set today and it was awful and I need some reassurance from you. As you know, I'm filming a secret show at the moment. It's a secret project, yeah. Lady Chatterley's lover, but that's by the by. When something happened on set today Which has never happened to me before And I'm getting quite paranoid about it You know when something happens You go, oh it was fine At that moment And then as the sort of time goes on You think about it more and more And go, oh my god Actually that could turn out really bad Overthinking it, yeah Yeah, well I'm a massive overthinker This is what happened I was filming And basically I shoulder barged A young crew member on set Right a young lady, as it turns out.

30:21So you physically assaulted a young woman on set?

30:23Keyzie:I didn't physically. Were the cameras rolling? You better hope not. No, they weren't rolling at that point. Now, in my defence, can I explain what happened? She talked out of turn or something. She ran in a yap. What actually happened was I was outside, and as you can see outside at the moment, it's a beautiful sunny day, right? Yeah, but it's nothing you get up and arms about. And then they said, Mr Hoyt, sir, you're wanted on set. Did they say, sir? Yes. Well, that's part of the thing that when people address me when I'm, you know. Part of the agreement. Yeah, part of the agreement. Could you come on set, sir?

30:56Keyzie:So I was outside in the bright sunlight, and I walk in, and it's a very, very dark warehouse. And for about 10 or so metres when you're walking in there, you actually can't see where you're going or anything like that. That sounds dangerous. And as I was doing that, I accidentally shoulder barged this young lady and she sort of pretty much toppled over and I was like, oh, my God. Well, that sounds like you're stretching it a little bit.

31:23Jase:She toppled over. I can't see you shoulder barging anyone and them toppling over.

31:28Keyzie:Well, I know, but, you know, she was probably smaller than me. Right. And I was walking at a pace because I love to get on set and I love to get filming. And then it was like, oh, that's fine. And I said, I'm so sorry. I couldn't bloody see where the hell I was going. And she was, oh, no, no, that's fine. That's fine. And then I sort of left after filming today. And I was driving home and I was going, God, that was really bad. I mean, what if it gets out that old Hoardy Jay's an on-set bully? Because, you know, you hear about actors like that, Maggie, who have tantrums at the crew, who throw stuff.

32:04Keyzie:I mean, what if it gets out that old Hoardy Jay becomes folklore? That you're a massive bully. that I once shoulder barged a female crew member almost to the ground.

32:15Jase:I don't think it becomes folklore. I think it more becomes evidence, you know, in a court of law. Yeah. You're not folklore, court of law. Yeah, court of law. So your charges are brought, you're in the dock, people are listing off all of the things that you've done. A long list. You've been in the business for a long time. Other people start coming forward. That's right.

32:34Keyzie:Well, you were saying at that bloody red carpet the other night, people were bloody bleeding about me all night.

32:38Jase:Well, yeah, I know what The Secret Project is you're on, and I was talking to the other people that were on that show, and let me tell you, they were in tears regarding me with stories about what you get up to on that set. They said, and I quote, shocking bastard. Wow, they said that.

32:53Keyzie:Yeah. But it was just one of those things, genuinely. I was blinded by the light. I went into the darkness and did doosh, and I went, oh, my God. But the problem is what you're doing here is you're now telling your side of the story. Well, I just want people to know now. Your side of the story.

33:08Jase:Yeah, that's what happened. Well, look, she probably would have been bloody stoked to come into contact with a fantastic world-class actor. That's fair. Sadly, it was you. The Hauraki Big Show, weekdays from four on Radio Hauraki.

33:24Keyzie:Midnight oil there on the Radio Hauraki Big Show this Monday afternoon. Hey, fellas, this coming weekend... Oh, is it this weekend? Yes. Oh. The 29th is the World Series of Kiwi Pong, thanks to Sobeer, which are delicious gummies you take after a night out to wake up fresh the next day.

33:43Jase:That's what you needed on Friday night, Moggy. Well, yeah, I could have done with it, to be honest with you, man. I could have done with a lot of them. And you two on Saturday night, Keezy. I haven't seen any of them around the office. Have they got any giveaways for us? I don't know, man. Okay, man. But the good news is this Saturday at Sweatshop Brew Kitchen is the Kiwi Pong World Series. I'm going to be competing in that World Series along with Mania Stewart. Our team name is Pong Jovi. Yeah. Famously because we both really like Bon Jovi. The event is 100 % sold out in terms of spots for teams.

34:19We've got the last two team spots available. Yes. And we have to do a draw out of the, as you can see, fellas, we've got four potential winners on the screen. Oh, yes. So you just have to pick one of the two. Do you want me just to do a lucky dip? Yeah, do it, man. All right, let's go for this fella. Hello, are you there? Yes. Hi, is that Luke? Yeah, it is. G'day, Luke. How you going? Yeah, pretty good, man. Pretty good.

34:43Keyzie:Yeah, good on you, Luke, you massive backbone. What do you do for a crust, mate? Sparky. Oh, backbone! Yeah, buddy, Luke. Bloody hell. Hey, Luke, good news is, mate, your team is officially in for the World Series of Kiwi Pong this weekend. Really? Awesome. What's the name of your team, Luke? The Four Armour Fury. Four Armour Fury. I like it. Yeah, yeah, good. It's a great team name. All right, Luke, I will see you this coming Saturday. You're going down. Yeah, yeah, okay, mate.

35:18He's genuinely fizzed up. Yeah, yeah. That was a giggling sort of a B, wouldn't he? I think he thinks we're taking the piss. All right, do you want me to go to line one, three or four? I'll go one, Casey. All right, here we go. Dan, you there, man? Yeah, mate. How you going? You all good? Yeah, not bad, brother. How are you?

35:35Keyzie:Yeah, good as gold, man. He sounds like he'd be really good. What? Kiwi Pong. Kiwi Pong. Right, just from his voice. Yeah, I can tell he's a really coordinated bastard. Really? Yeah. Hey, Dan, what do you do for a crust, man? Oh, mate, I'm a high school teacher. Oh, bad boy. Good on you, Dan. Hey, good news is, man, you've bagged the last spot for the Kiwi Pong World Series. You are joking. You bloody backbone. Good, mate. Yeah, good.

36:02Jase:What's your team name? Double D Cups. Yeah, nice, man. That's good shit. All right, Dan. Well, grab your teammate, man. Chuck some costumes on, and I'll see you Saturday. You're going down, brother. Oh, you bloody beauty. Cheers, guys. Thanks, Dan. That's good. A couple of backbone. It's pretty fizzed up.

36:19Keyzie:They're right into it there, aren't they? So it's on the Saturday, is it, Keezy? The Saturday, I believe it is, and the prize, the grand prize is$10 ,006.

36:26Jase:Is there a grand prize? That's the grand prize. Well, it's the prize before that.

36:31Keyzie:Is there a runner-up prize?

36:33Jase:No, it's just the prize. $10 ,005. No, it's not. I might show up for that, actually. Really? You're going to show up to a Hauraki event on a weekend? No. Just kidding. Hey, big shout-out to Sobeer, though. Making it all possible. Can't wait to take those suckers down, man. It's going to be great. Yeah. Here's Incubus. The Hauraki Big Show with Jace, Mike, and Keezy. Tune in weekdays at 4 on Radio Hauraki.

36:57Keyzie:Pearl Jam there on the Radio Hauraki big show this Monday evening. Now plenty coming up after 6 o 'clock. A bit of sports chat, fellas. A lot going on over the weekend. Also, apparently, the breakfast show have laid down the challenge for the golf tourney on Wednesday. So we'll be hearing from those fellas. Yeah, they've basically proposed a sort of punishment if we lose. And having been here before and having lost, I don't know whether we should accept it. I haven't heard what it is. so I'll be curious but also we'll be giving out some advice meetpattynips69 at gmail.com if you ever need advice on anything give us an email and you can win yourself a$50 Reburger voucher

37:36The Hauraki Big Show with Jace, Mike and Keezy Tune in weekdays at 4 on Radio Hauraki

37:42Keyzie:Welcome back you massive backbones hope you're surviving your Monday afternoon you are in fact listening to The Big Show brought to you by Reburger Beef, chicken, vegan and vegetarian options available Reburge, redefining the norm. But there's no easy way to say this. I'm breaking up with you. Are you serious? Is this someone else? In a way. What? It's Reburge. It's just, it's so, I can't, it's so crave worthy. I can't stop craving it. And it's handcrafted. Are you serious? Are you in a whole relationship? Over the burgers? Yeah, well, yeah, it is over the burgers. Yeah, well, have you tried the fries?

38:26Oh, I mean, yeah, the fries are pretty good. Yeah, yeah, no, they're quite low.

38:29Jase:Oh, yeah, but how are you? They are yum. Are they fries or chips? Hmm. Fries or chips? What's the difference? Ah, just the title. I think the fry is a thinner. Yeah, isn't a fry like a shoestring? Well, that's a shoestring.

38:46Keyzie:Yeah, so you'd have to go, they're chips, maybe. Yeah. Yeah. And then, boy, do you get that right? Yes, we do. Should we Google that?

38:53Jase:Yeah.

38:53Keyzie:Could we? I'm Googling it now.

38:56Jase:I just want to have a look because I want to be sure you see what I mean. Fries. Well, they have loaded fries. It doesn't say anything about chips. No, fries. Okay, so we can't call them chips anymore. Don't call them chips, man. Because you've been saying chips for ages, Jase. Right, okay. Well, I'm kind of old school on that front.

39:12Keyzie:You know what I mean? One, you've said something a certain way your whole life and you're not about to change now. Yeah, pretty much. Pretty much. That must get you in a hell of a lot of trouble. It does sometimes. Do you like the Foo Fighters, man? Is it that one of theirs that I like, that I played as a drummer that time? No. The Hauraki Big Show with Jase, Mike and Kesey. Tune in weekdays at four on Radio Hauraki. The offspring there on the Radio Hauraki Big Show this Monday afternoon. Let's have some sport chat.

39:58How good.

40:00Keyzie:How good. Friday afternoon I was filming all day in a sweaty little box. And it was full on. Got home. Cracked open a cold zero. turned on the telly, linebacker my couch. The Ashes. Australia versus England in Australia. Had you started as well? I was actually just getting to the start. I got to the second session on the first day. So good. I love it. Because I've gone off cricket of late but the Ashes in Australia, nothing better in my mind. Absolutely.

40:45Jase:Just so good. I had a pretty spectacular hand. Well, you know, bad enough I didn't want to get off the couch, so I just spent the day watching cricket. Yeah. It was a bloody ripper. And so when you're doing that, because you guys are obviously very passionate Test cricket fans, you don't just sit there and watch the cricket, right? You do other stuff too. Yeah.

41:04Keyzie:Yes, I do. I wander in and out sort of doing things. What an extraordinary match it was all over in two days. Yeah. The bowl is totally dominating. Stark ripping the crap out of the English. And then the English, with their five-pronged pace attack, ripping the arse out of the old Australians there. So England had a surprising lead in the first innings. Got to over 200 lead in the second innings. And then to douche! Travis Head, who came in to replace Kawaja, who was injured, just smacked the crap out of them and won them the Test match. It was extraordinary stuff. That's right.

41:40Jase:Well, we were watching it on day one, and England scored 172. And as we're watching the fall of wickets and sort of clumps here and there, we did say to each other, a mate of mine and myself there, this is all well and good, but then Australia has to go in and back. Yes. And sure enough, they were all out for 132. So England had a first innings lead of 40. England go back in, getting 164. So it was a lead of 200-odd. Yes. And you think, well, actually, that's not too bad, given what you've seen so far. I thought they had a chance. But then Travis Head comes out and hits a 69-ball tonne and she's all over.

42:14Jase:Yeah, totally.

42:15Keyzie:And he was only out there because Kawaja was injured. Yes. And he went, oh, pick me, pick me. I've got to say, of all the Australians, I don't mind a bit of Travis Head. He's a bit of a character.

42:24Jase:There's a few too many, though, in that Australia team now who I don't hate and I don't like it.

42:29Keyzie:Yes, I don't like it either. Then, of course, the rugby on Sunday morning. The All Blacks, Wales.

42:35Jase:Did any of us care? I mean, I cared enough to watch it, certainly. I'm still looking for the improvements and stuff. It was another dire game from my point of view. The last 20 were pretty good. But to me, it's just, yeah, I don't know. I just don't know what's going on. It's more lateral movement. You know, there used to be a thing in rugby, and it doesn't seem to happen anymore. It certainly wasn't in that game, where you'd use your forwards to just smash up the middle. Yes. And then that's when you would find the space on the outside. But you sort of go one out, gain momentum, quick ruck ball, drag in their forwards to create space on the outside.

43:09Jase:I have not seen that at all. It seems to be a couple of rucks, slow as hell, then try and pass it wide, but just run laterally and then hope for the best.

43:19Keyzie:That's been the peculiar thing, Mogi, for me, is the back line. I take your point about the forwards. It is totally lateral. There's no one hitting the line hard. It's just scooping it from one player to another.

43:32Jase:And when you hit straight lines, you drag in defenders. Of course. I mean, I don't know anything about it, obviously, Jase. I feel like I'm on like Dekor on sport or something right now. Yeah, yeah, yeah. It's good chat. It's good analysis. Hey, fellas, the UFC fight was on. There was a UFC fight on over the weekend. The couple of good fights, Bilal Muhammad versus Ian Gary. Muhammad was previously a champion a couple of fights ago, and he just got his beans again against Ian Gary, who's probably got a title fight coming up. And the main event was Dan Hooker, New Zealand's own Dan Hooker. Yes.

44:06Jase:fighting Arman Sarukian, who's the number one contender in the lightweight bout. Dan Hook has called him out. Dan's seventh. Dan hasn't fought for about 18 months. And I think, I don't think he'd mind me saying this, he got his beans. Got choked out in the second round. He's got his face rearranged. Got a pretty solid knee in the head. There's all sorts of swelling going on. So it was a bloody shame, but you didn't have the feeling that he was going to go. He didn't look like himself at all, but I don't think you can take that long off. He's had a lot of trouble with injuries and all that sort of stuff.

44:40Jase:So he's a backbone. Anyway, he said he's going to fight on. He said he's got no chance of getting the title anymore. But what he wants to do is go out and ruin everybody else's opportunities of getting the title because if he can't have what he wants, then why should anybody else have what they want? So he's just going to go over there and smack other people over. Happy days. Great stuff. That was quite a constructive sports chat. I was waiting for a chance to jump in and say my wife or something like that, but nothing happened.

45:04Keyzie:Yeah, no, it was just too good. The Hauraki Big Show with Jase, Mike and Keezy. Tune in weekdays at four on Radio Hauraki. She had there on the Radio Hauraki Big Show this Monday afternoon. And I tell you what, there's been a bit of golf chat, but boys, it's been over two weeks now since Hoity J's had a swing. And so I'm a little bit nervous about the game on Wednesday. It could go either one of two ways. After a break like that, I could come back and play very well or I could be appallingly – I mean, I'll always be appallingly bad. It's just how appallingly bad I'm going to be.

45:42Jase:I don't know there's two options day to day as opposed to after two weeks.

45:46Keyzie:But it's just the level of badness I'm talking about. I may come back and be refreshed. I may have got to the – because I was playing so often that I was a little jaded and I was getting a bit loose and reinforcing my bad habits. Maybe if I come back after a break, I'll actually play a bit better. My money is on you playing way better. Okay, good.

46:05Jase:I love the way you guys are supportive of each other. My money is on you being worse. Yes. Because you haven't played for two weeks and you normally play a couple of times a week. So my thought would be you'll be worse. 100%. But traditionally with golf, as you said, you have been getting worse. You play, right, for the first time. Remember the very first time we played? Yes. Your return. You played awesome. And I was like, holy shit, you haven't played that well since. And that was just you returning fresh and not even trying and expecting nothing. It's as soon as you start going, how are you?

46:32I'm going to start playing golf. That's when you start playing bad. Right. It's very bizarre. I think you're going to play really well. I think I'm going to play terrible.

46:37Keyzie:Yeah, I'd agree with that. Oh. I thought you'd kind of back me up on that, didn't I? Oh, I am backing you up on it. I think you'll play terrible. Oh, yeah. Yeah, yeah. I mean, I'm supporting you in your thoughts there, Keezy. Yeah, right. Well, the Bricky fellas have actually sent something through for us. Have they? Apparently. Should we ever listen to it? What's at stake and what's the format going to be? I'm happy for them to pick the format because, you know, they're going to whinge about it until they get their own way. And also I feel like we and the team that we've put together can beat them at any format.

47:09What I want to know though is what's at stake? I would like to put two different options up. One is we run the penalty back from the last competition that we did. So loser has to do the winner's show on the last day of the year, thereby extending our holiday by an extra day. so the Friday the 19th I was not expecting that Manaya yes Manaya I like this this is high stakes Zoe's shaking her head out in the studio she's probably going to get roped into helping whichever team loses anyway but I'm loving this Manaya that's pretty high stakes the other one that I don't know that they're going to accept but would be a financial one so a donation to Movember out of our own pockets they're definitely not going to accept

47:50Jase:that Manaya there is no way you mentioned there's no way of course pockets Let's see what they reckon about format and penalty How do we feel about that? Well, it's got nothing to do with me I know, but you'd also have to work though if we were to lose But I wouldn't Yeah, right Because I can't influence the result one way or the other So I'm not going to suffer because you guys are terrible So it would be me and Jase Me and Jase doing breaking is what it would be Yeah

48:18Keyzie:Should we just make it a financial donation, Kesey? But Jase, you hate donating You've got your game of two halves money No, I don't You're rich as, man. You've got your property portfolio. All right, well, how about this?

48:29Jase:Well, this is concerning, I've got to say, because it's got to be something. They're challenging you here. Yes. And are you two cowards going to say no? Well, we have to have a think about it. Yes. Yeah, no, we do have to think about it. I'm very tired at the moment, Moggy. Because I guess the other thing is, how much is this financial donation? Yeah, well, exactly. So it's$20, and yeah, you beauty. Yeah, well, I can donate$20. Happy to. Yeah, I'm happy to do that. I'll do that anyway. All right, but I want to watch you do it, though. Yeah, totally. I don't believe you will do that.

48:54Keyzie:Yeah, that's right. All right, well, we'll have a think about it, and we'll respond to them tomorrow. The Hauraki Big Show, weekdays from four on Radio Hauraki. The Doors there on the Radio Hauraki Big Show this Monday evening. Let's give out some advice, fellas. Meet Paddy Nips 69 at gmail.com. Get in touch with the fellas. It's a real email address. Meet Paddy Nips 69 at gmail.com. Get in touch. 100 % anonymous and if we read out your question on the show you get a$50 reberger voucher unless you've already won one we're on to you uh this one comes from anonymous feelers get out you feelers i have a lifelong friend who has just got married i don't think his wife thinks very highly of me and she always tries to fade slash push me out but in a catty and overprotective way that is weird kind of pissed off because he's known her for about two years and i've known him for like 26 six years and we had some seriously great memories together.

49:53Do I just walk away or what do I actually do? I can't be bothered causing a fuss because I hate relationship drama and would prefer to just let it be. Cheers. Anonymous. It's a tough one. Very common one though, isn't it?

50:06Keyzie:We were talking about this kind of thing the other day, weren't we, fellas? You know, when a good mate of yours finds love. Oh, yeah. You know, and then buggers off and abandons all his mates. What do you do? What do you do? Do-do. It is a really difficult... Because you had your mate who you were really close with, Mogi, and he got into a relationship. You didn't see him for a year, you said.

50:27Jase:That was in my teenage years. Yes. So you speak better from people in their older. I've also got another mate where we had a, you know, that sort of he doesn't... I don't know what the guts is, man, but his missus doesn't like me. Right, okay. Really? Unbelievable. And so at that point, and I understand it completely, it's easier from a male point of view just to go, you know what, man, It's easier if I just kept my missus happy. We'll see you later. I'll see you now and again. Yeah, I'll stand down. It's just not going to be as often as it used to be, man. We'll catch you later. So, yeah, that friendship's over, man.

50:57Jase:Really? You can forget that one. See, because I was going to say maybe. He's going to choose her. No, I know, but maybe you can have a yarn with him about it.

51:04Keyzie:Nah. Nah, you see.

51:06Jase:Well, you can and you should and you did and I did. But it's just like.

51:10Keyzie:Yeah, at the end of the day, you know, your mate's always going to go back to their lover.

51:16Jase:That's right. The thing about it is... Because men are filthy bastards. With you as a mate, he's going to see you, what, as you're older now? Once a week, once every two weeks, once a month, once every three months, once every six months. He's in with her every day. Yeah. He doesn't need to keep you happy. He needs to keep her happy. Yeah, man. The easiest way to keep her happy is to get rid of you. Yeah, yeah, yeah, you're right. Unless they become lovers. Yes. And then... If you can hook up with his missus... Wait, no, hang on. That will completely throw a cat amongst the pigeons. Totally. The pigeons.

51:47Jase:The pigeons. Yeah. Or a fox in the hing house. Jase, you were talking about hooking up with the guy. Are you going to hook up with a guy?

51:56Keyzie:Well, that would be good as well, Jase. Well, it can go either way. You hook up with one of them. Well, I don't know if you coming into the situation that's already pretty dicey and then you hooking up with one of the guys is going to help. Well, I mean, you know, that way he'll want to spend more time with you. Yes. Well, if you're there hooking up with his mate. Totally, yeah. And she'll think you're cute. Yeah, she will. Look at those two fellows making out on the couch there. God, is that Hoity J? God, he's going at it. Oh, well, there you go. That's good advice.

52:26Jase:This old Hoity J is going hard. Are you all good over there, John? Hoity J going too hard for you? Well, there you go. Little white buttocks just... What? Just what? Just clenching. and then relax. I was going to say something,

52:47Keyzie:which I really, I don't really do this, but, you know, I stop myself. Yeah, right. Were you hoping that I'd just sort of cut it off and we'd go to the ads? No, I thought, I was hoping that you would come in with what my white buttocks were doing. No, I don't want to be anywhere near your white buttocks, but Anonymous, I hope that helps and we'll email back with Hoody J's number and we can tee that up. The Hauraki Big Show with Jase, Mike and Keezy. Tune in weekdays at four on Radio Hauraki.

53:19Keyzie:There you go, you mad bastards. That's a big show done and dusted this Monday evening. In the podcast outro today, we had a bit of chitter chat before the show, didn't we, fellas? What's the clip there, Kitsie? Good question. This clip is Mike doing an impression of Jase. Comes out at 7.30 tonight, where ever get your potties from, so make sure you check it out.

53:41Jase:I ran into a couple of people that you work with on your secret project on Friday night at the Screen Awards and we were chatting about you. I said, I'll do my Hoody J impression, if you like. And they said, oh, you go on. I said, ask me a question. And they said, like, do you want a coffee? And I went. And they went, oh, my God, you nailed it.

54:05Keyzie:I don't sigh, do I feel? Nah. I reckon today, I reckon in the studio today, it's actually been pretty good. Yes. I reckon you've done four.

54:16No, like four proper ones. Not four, like, you're not, you know, doing it for, you know.

54:22Keyzie:How good. Yeah, it's true, though. It's true. Hey, Moggy. Oh. What's the plan tonight, man?

54:27Jase:I don't know, actually. I might watch something. Yeah, I don't know. I'll go home and hopefully have a delicious dinner. Train dreams. Oh, yeah. Oh, I don't know if I'm in the mood for that. Okay.

54:39Keyzie:Yeah, I might need another night before I do that. I think your wife would like that movie, Keezy. Really? Yeah. There's some ooh moments in it. Not too artsy-fartsy, is it? No. It's just very beautiful. All right. Hey, Keezy. What up? What are you having for dinner, man? What up? My wife's got touched tonight. She is never home. That is not true. She is always out. This last month, I can't recall her being home for dinner.

55:06Jase:Do you know, Kesey was telling me before you got in today, Jase, that they only change the sheets once a month because her side is pretty much unslept in. Yeah, I told you that in confidence, Mike. That was off-air chat. It was confident. But basically the way it works, Jase, is I'll sleep for a week on my side, then on her side. Right, okay. And a week on my side again. And then on her side, then she'll come home for like a night, put fresh sheets on, and then that's it for a month.

55:33Keyzie:Right, okay. But what's for tea, though? Lamb and halloumi flatbreads. You had that the other day. No, I didn't. This is the first time we've ever had it. What are you having? I don't know, actually. Oh, good. Which is never a good term. Re-burger. Yeah, maybe some re-burger. Some sneaky re-burger on the way home. Oh, that reminds me. We don't have time. Bye! See you later.