FULL SHOW: Sap It Hard (feat. Alan McElroy)

17:48Mike Minogue:The Hauraki Big Show with Jase, Mike and Keezy. Tune in weekdays at four on Radio Hauraki. Blink-182 there on the Radio Hauraki Big Show this Tuesday evening. Then coming up after five o 'clock, we've got comedian McElroy. What's his first name? Alan, mate. Alan McElroy. God, I'm terrible. Also, Keezy had a terrible accident today, and he's got all this geeky, sticky gunk in his hair, and he just doesn't know what to do about it. So he needs our advice, eh, Keezy? He went up to Daisy, didn't he, mate? Yeah, you did. God, it looks gross. I can see. It is really clumpy. If you could picture it, it's like a teaspoon of sticky white sort of grossness that I didn't notice until like an hour later.

18:32Mike Minogue:It's tree sap. It's tree sap. So we'll touch on that after five. Not now, obviously. Yeah, yeah, save it up. Plus we need to decide what are we doing, what's on the line for tomorrow's game against Brekkie, the golf game. They've proposed we do their final ever shift of the year if we lose and vice versa. We need to decide if we're actually going to take that bet or not. Yeah. Lots going on, fellas. Feels. The Hauraki Big Show with Jace, Mike and Keezy. Tune in weekdays at four on Radio Hauraki. Welcome back, you massive backbones. Hope you're surviving your Tuesday afternoon. You are, in fact, listening to The Big Show, brought to you by Reburg Gear.

19:14Mike Minogue:Handcrafted Reburgers, sorry. Handcrafted burgers, loaded fries and gourmet eats. That'll change the game.

19:29Oh, I don't know why I love them so much, but I do. Good work, Pugs. I do, fellas. Might I play that one again, man?

19:35Mike Minogue:Oh, yeah, here we go.

19:43Mike Minogue:Yum. Speaking of great food, keep those texts coming in for what's on the dinner with me. Easy. Why? We're not doing that for another hour. Yeah, well, we want plenty. Yeah, we want the good ones. We're thinking about doing a whole hour of what's on the dinner with me, Keezy. An hour of me reading out what people are having for tea. Yes, so good, man. Well, that's what's annoying, right? Because we've had a few other cool, crazy topics, wacky topics going on on the show. And people are texting in. But then I keep getting texts of like, hey, Keezy, I'm having meatballs for dinner. It's really like mixing things up.

20:14Yeah, I love that. You love that? Yeah, I love mixing it up, Keezy. Speaking of mixing it up, Keezy's got some sticky white gunk in his hair, and he needs some advice about what to mix up to get rid of it. In the meantime, it's Rage Against the Machine.

20:31Mike Minogue:It's Tree Sap. There's a tune, by the way. You like that? The Hauraki Big Show with Jase, Mike, and Keezy. Tune in weekdays at 4 on Radio Hauraki. Weezer there on the Radio Hauraki Big Show this Tuesday afternoon. the time, 13 minutes past 5 o 'clock. Fellas, I was in the backyard today, had the ladder out and have got this little like hand saw. It's a manual hand saw. Yeah. I've got to get a chainsaw, man. I think I might ask for one for Christmas from Father Christmas. You can borrow mine if you want. Really? I bet it doesn't run. Not presently. But I was cutting a heck of a lot of branches off, made a big green pile.

21:11Mike Minogue:I'm going to get rid of that over the weekend there. And then went inside, I'd had a shower and when I came out, looked in the mirror there to do my hair. My hair. And I was like, oh, what the hell is that? And I looked at my hair and there was just this big sort of white, it's probably like a tablespoon's worth of sort of white, sticky, gelatinous goop. Yeah. That had sort of landed just above my forehead in that sort of middle portion of my hair there. Yeah. And I felt it and it was hard and gross because it had just dried there. And I couldn't. I tried washing it and, you know, you might notice my hair is quite fluffy today.

21:53Mike Minogue:I washed my hair like three or four times and I ran a little comb through it and I could not get it out. I'm just wondering, what do you do? How do you get it? So that's where it landed after your shower. No, it wasn't after my shower. I clearly landed there and then I had a shower. You had a shower and yeah. And then I, because I've tried to stop washing my hair as often as you guys told me. Do you not still wet it though? You know, I ran, yeah, I was under the hot water. Right. And then when I looked in the mirror, it was still just a big splodge of just tree sap. There's something about Keezy, isn't it?

22:32Yeah. There's something about Keezy. There is, yeah, he's got tree sap in his hair. Is that what you call it? That's quite a good name for it. I've never heard it called tree sap. No, neither have I. It's good because it goes under the radar, but when you think about it, it makes complete sense. I'm with you, Keezy. Tree sap. I like it. It's a subversive way of talking about it.

22:48Mike Minogue:You're a sick bastard, but it's a good one. What do you mean? Yeah, I mean. Can you tell me how to get the tree sap out of my hair, please? Rule number one is don't get tree sap in your ear. Yeah. I don't have to get it in my ear. As I like to call it, tree sap. Sap, yeah. And I'm just trying. So were you lying down? Had it been a while? I don't know what you mean. Well, it had been a while because the trees I was trimming when we first moved into the house, they definitely didn't have that much foliage, you know. So you were trimming some trees. Trees and a couple of bushes. Some bush, yeah. And it had been a while and it landed in your hair.

23:29Mike Minogue:Yeah, about six years. So I cut off one of the higher up branches early and then while I was sort of servicing the lower part of it, obviously some tree sap came out of the area where I'd cut above me and landed on my head. Well, I'll tell you what works a goddamn treat, and we've had one come through here on 3483, brake cleaner. I'm not putting brake cleaner in my hair. I've got some. Well, either you want the sap out or you don't. The other thing is just normal motor oil. Yeah. I've got that as well. I've got motor oil. Yeah, yeah, that stuff works. Golden syrup. How about this? because you were saying when you were a young fella, you used to get cooties and the old methylated spirits because it sounds like it was a big dollop.

24:13Mike Minogue:Of tree sap. I do have methylated spirits. I could put some of that in my hair. Yes, Keezy, of tree sap. Jase, stop saying it like that, all right? Like what? Like the way you're doing it with the bloody inverted commas things going on. It was tree sap, all right? I know I checked. And it had been a long time. Yes, it had been a long time since I trimmed that particular tree, yes. It 100 % was tree sap, all right? Of course it was. Yeah. Okay. Tree sap.

24:50Mike Minogue:It was definitely tree sap. Tree sap. No, it was tree sap. Stop saying it slowly, all right? The Hauraki Big Show with Jace, Mike and Keezy. Tune in weekdays at 4 on Radio Hauraki. The Cure there on the Radio Hauraki Big Show this Tuesday evening. The time is 5.25 now. It's a big day tomorrow for the fellas, the breakfast show, and the big show, the big golf tourney. That's right. It's the Hauraki Swingers Club Movember edition. We're heading to Windross Farm Golf Course, which is in South Auckland there. We've got a couple of listeners playing with Team Big Show, a couple of listeners playing with Team Brekkie, all in support of Movember.

25:29Mike Minogue:and the breakfast team are really trying to have something on the line for this match-up. We've taken them on at golf about a year ago. I've played a lot of golf since then and gotten a lot better. I had a shocker. I let the team down. We lost. And then, Jase, you and I both took the breakfast team out for a delicious steak meal and it cost us a fortune. Remember that? Yeah, I do. And then midway through the year, Mogi, I don't know if you remember this, but we did a 4x100m relay race. That's right. I blew my quad. That's right. You were riding Jason and I and Pugson trying to get us to train, make sure we didn't break down, et cetera, et cetera.

26:05I was too. I got us a humongous lead in the first hundred, took out Rooter by about 40 metres, hand the band to you, and you strained your quad muscle and cost us the race. And we had to do two shows on a day. We had to do the breakfast show and the drive show on one day.

26:21Mike Minogue:That's right, and it was the day after the radio awards, and I had approximately two or three hours sleep. That's right. It was a very funny breakfast show because we were so out of it. But the issue is I have now let us down in two challenges. I am not prepared to wager because what they have put forward is the winner. The same again. The same again except for the very last show of the year. That's right. So on the last day of the year. Which will be a Friday. Which will be a Friday. The loser would have to do both the breakfast show and the drive show and the other team obviously would get the day off.

26:53Mike Minogue:An extra holiday. One thing I will note is they are very cock-a-hoop. They are. They are very cock-a-hoop. And you'll recall in that last... Well, that's because they hold you in such low esteem. Of course. In that last golf tawny we had, we were even after five holes. And then Keezy shat the bed. See, this is why I can't... Yeah. And so... This is why I can't do it again. He was effing and jeffing. And the problem is because you get nervy, Kesey. I mean, who cares, really? You know what I mean? I mean, when it's just... You're a massive choker. And you've proven it time and time again. But I think, Kesey, you're looking at this the wrong way.

27:38You're looking at this as an opportunity to lose when you should be looking at it as an opportunity to win. This is an opportunity for redemption. This is an opportunity to end the year as a goddamn winner when we've been losers from start to finish. you are never going to get on top if you don't start the race mate if you don't start the climb are you going to let those two scumbags challenge us to something and we're too big a cowards to even accept the challenge well that's the biggest loss of all my friend the refusal to even take part in a competition and I will not have it yeah fair call Mogi now listen fair call alright now obviously I can't affect the result one way or the other because I'm not playing it It's the two of you versus the two of them, and I am more than happy to put my faith in the two of you.

28:24I want to back us. Here's my proposal. Not the last day of the year, the last week.

28:37Mike Minogue:So for an entire week, if we lose, I have to get up and do breakfast and you guys and then do drive as well. Let me correct you there, Kesey. We need to. There's no way you're accepting that. We don't have to. We get to We get to Or maybe we don't Which imagine that We finish the year a week early You know what's funny I was very close to agreeing to doing it Yeah Mogi when you did your speech And then the crowd erupted until it was there And then Jase You've just thrown me right I could not handle the pressure of that Absolutely not I think we'll go with the Friday I think the Friday's a good middle ground Jase?

29:14I'm in

29:14Mike Minogue:Yeah Oh God I'm going to shit the bed so bad He's not Pugs's. He's thrilled about it. Oh, because he's going to have to come in as well. Pugs is looking filthy. I tell you what, if we do have to come in, we're allowed to drink all day, okay? Okay, then. Responsibly. Up next, comedian Alan McElroy. The Hauraki Big Show with Jace, Mike and Kesey. Tune in weekdays at four on Radio Hauraki. Ever clear there on the Radio Hauraki Big Show. This Tuesday afternoon, a special treat comedian Alan McElroy in the studio with us. G'day, Alan, you mad bastard. How's life? Good, good, you mad bastard. It's very good, yeah.

29:53How about yours? Yeah, well, I see you brought your dog in. What do you think this is, a bloody petting zoo? Yeah, it is, yeah. And you've got to pay me$10 to touch him. Oh, right. He's a prostitute dog. Can you tell me what kind of a dog this one is? He's a rescue dog. Oh, you're a rescue dog. They reckon he's a sharp-having mastiff. Yeah, he's got mastiff in him, that's for sure. Yeah, well, he did. I seen him last week with another dog, but he's a good boy. He's running a rager. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I love that on a dog, yeah. He's got his lipstick out and he's got a massive set of balls on it.

30:22You don't see that on a dog anymore, you know? No, you don't really, do you? No, but you have to encourage him sometimes, you know what I mean? Sometimes you have to tickle him behind the ears. Is he your sort of emotional support dog or anything like that? Kind of, yeah. I mean, dogs in general are that for everyone, I think, you know what I'm saying? He's just very needy, you know. Yes. He's lovely, so he just wanted to come with me today. and I bring him on stage sometimes and he heckles bad comedians, which is very funny. Yeah, right. He's a magnificent beast. I must say, I love that colour.

30:53Yeah, well, we dye him, you know. Oh, right, yeah, it's nice. It's not natural. He's usually blonde.

31:00But being a Sharpay, his name is, because he had a lot of wrinkles as a puppy, his name is Gordon Ramsay. Right, I got you. Yeah, so that's it. So what's been going on, mate? What have you been up to? You just doing gigs and stuff? Doing gigs and stuff, man. I started doing cruise ships, which is insane. Oh, my God. Where have you been? Yeah, everywhere. I don't know where these places are. I never heard of them. New Caledonia. I've been to New Caledonia. New Mare. Yep, New Mare, yep. Brisbane. Yeah, yeah. Yeah, yeah.

31:29Mike Minogue:Chris, Jase, I mean, a few of your friends who are comedians, they've done the cruise ship sort of tours before. Yes, they have. How long are you on the ship for, Alan? About three or four days. It's the easiest gig in the world. Do you do a show every night? No. Sometimes you have two days off where you have to go to Pacific Islands and sit and have a beer. That's terrible. Horrible. What a shame. Horrible, man. Horrible. But I have to do two half-hour R18 shows twice and then one PG show, kids show. Right. So the first one I did, I swear a lot on stage. You do, yeah. And I tell dirty stories.

32:05You're a shocking bastard. I'm a shocking bastard, right? And I tell all the filthy stories. and I kept on going oh man I got a kids show to do on Sunday got a kids show to do on Sunday and the show and the Sunday show the line was the length of half the boat all these people with their kids waiting to see if I could get away with not swearing for half an hour and I swore twice but they didn't understand me and then I got to the end of it and I was delighted and I went straight to the bar to get a wine and a little Aussie seven year old girl came up and I don't know if I can swear now go for it okay she came up and she goes that was fucking hilarious mate These are Aussie kids It was insane I tell you what mate Kids these days they have potty mouths You know what I mean Some of the schoolyard chat Is disgusting Mogi You shouldn't be near them You shouldn't be in the school What are you doing in the school yard Listening to the kids talk for Back in the day when I pick up my kids I'd be going It's just the language from these Or just outside of dairy or something like that, just groups of wayward youth.

33:11Mike Minogue:Do you think it's our fault for saying mad bastard all the time on the radio? Yeah. Because that's bad, right? That's probably a bad word. I think it's as good as it gets. Alan, I'll tell you what we're going to do. We're going to go to a tune and then we're going to come back because you've got a very special show coming up. It's very special. It's so special, Alan. It is incredibly special. It's the best Christmas comedy show on earth. Of all time. Oh, sorry, on earth. It's just on earth. Just on earth, though. Yeah, yeah, yeah, not Mars. Do you like Queens of the Stone Age, Alan? Love them, man.

33:35Mike Minogue:The Hauraki Big Show with Jace, Mike and Keezy. Tune in weekdays at four on Radio Hauraki. Yes, indeed, the queens of the Stone Age here on the Radio Hauraki Big Show this Tuesday evening. We have comedian Alan McElroy in the studio, and he's got a massive gig coming up, doesn't he, Keezy? Certainly does, Jace. He's got a massive gig. Massive gig. Biggest in the biz. It is the best Christmas comedy show on earth, celebrating an incredible year of Aotearoa comedy with a special advent calendar-themed show. heaps of big names Ray O 'Leary Courtney Dawson James Mustapik Lily Catastrophe Henry Yarn Janae Henry Paul Williams Brinley Stent and of course Alan McElroy who has been described as an Irish comedy powerhouse and also as comedy's answer to Conor McGregor yeah yeah exactly you'll do nothing do nothing you did walk in here just like he walks well that's how we all walk you know it's just you had a real strut about you it's pretty walking it's wobbly arms I could have put it down to wobbly arms Absolutely up to your eyeballs and cocaine as well.

34:35Oh, man. Coke is coming out of me ears at this stage. Sniff me ears, you'll be off your nut.

34:41Mike Minogue:Just on cocaine, this is a fundraiser for the New Zealand Comedy Trust. All proceeds support development pathways for NZ comedians. Donations can be made through the NZ Comedy Trust website. Ellen, what do you do for a Christmas comedy show? Do you tailor it to Christmas? Yeah. I've got a story of my dad stealing stuff for us for a present. at the time we had to get my mother eyebrows for Christmas and a die-hard Christmas song called Yippee-Koyay, Motherfucker. And I love singing it and I can't wait to do it on the big stage. Bloody ripper. And so, because obviously, do you know if this is an R18 event?

35:18Mike Minogue:Who cares? Yeah, right, okay. Yeah, yeah, exactly. Because it's Christmas, you know. Can I just clarify there? Did you say raising funds for the New Zealand Comedy Trust? Yes. That sounds like a bloody rip-off to me. I'll be honest with you, it sounds like something of a con. Yeah, well, exactly. It should be. We might even get paid. They're going to have this massive comedy trust filled with millions and millions of dollars. Trillions. And you guys will never see it. But you'll be raising funds for it, though. Yeah, and I like raising stuff, but I want money. Surely you're not doing it for free, are you?

35:52No, I'm going to get paid. Yeah, exactly. That's the one. Fucking right I am. Because you do charity gigs? Sometimes. And I don't do that, Evan. I did one a few weeks ago. Oh, you did? The variety artist. Do you ever get involved with that? Variety. We've done variety before. Oh, have we? Yeah, we have. It's the love heart with the top head on it. Oh, yes. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I'll tell you, this is mental. Thanks very much. I had to sit with a table full of magicians. And one of them, we went to the bar, and he had his FPOS card glued between playing cards. so we'd walk up and go, ooh. But the F-Post machine timed out because there was cardboard stopping it.

36:30And in the end he goes, I'll just pay cash.

36:34Mike Minogue:By the way, if you wanted to come along to this best Christmas comedy show on earth, it is hosted by Chris Parker and the date is this coming Friday, the 28th at 7.30pm. Sky City Theatre. Is it this Friday? Yeah. Not this Friday. This Friday. I've got two gigs. Are you going to be there? Yeah. We'll see how we go. Yeah, nice. Hey, well, Alan, good on you, mate. Thanks, and good on you. And all the best with that gig. Hopefully they pay you a fortune. Yeah. They won't, of course. They won't. They'll say it's with a trust. Yeah, yeah. And what kind of bastard tries to take money off a trust? A proper bastard.

37:07Exactly. A proper bastard. A mad bastard. Yeah, there we go.

37:12Mike Minogue:Thank you so much, Alan McElroy. Cheers, lads. Thanks a lot. The Hauraki Big Show. Weekdays from four on Radio Hauraki. News there on the Radio Hauraki Big Show. this Tuesday evening. Now, there's plenty coming up after 6 o 'clock, including a real revelation that's happened in my home, fellas, regarding my wife. Oh, yes. So we'll be chatting about that. Also, of course, it's a Tuesday. So what's on the dinner with me, Kesey? That's right. Do you want me to talk about it? Oh. The thing is you undersell it, man. You don't know how good you've got it. Oh, right, how good I've got it. Well, how good you've got that you've shaped.

37:52that content that we get to do only a couple of times a week. It's a goddamn shame. But I think Jason and I love it so much, and I think it comes across, whereas you sort of deflect. You go, oh, it's not that. Yeah, it's just me reading our texts about people, what they're having for dinner. Yeah, right. And you guys talking about it. We'll have it on this. Okay, we'll have it on this.

38:09Mike Minogue:Hey, coming up after six, what's on the dinner with me, Keezy? What are you having for dinner in New Zealand? Text us 3483, and you could win a$50 Reburger voucher.

38:21Mike Minogue:The Hauraki Big Show with Jace, Mike and Keezy. Tune in weekdays at four on Radio Hauraki. Welcome back, you massive backbones. Hope your Tuesday night's going along very pleasantly. You're listening to The Big Show brought to you by Reburgeer. Beef, chicken, vegan and vegetarian options. Reburgeer are redefining the norm. There's no easy way to say this. I'm breaking up with you. Are you serious? Is this someone else? In a way. What? It's Reburger. It's just so, I can't, it's so crave-worthy. I can't stop craving it. And it's hand-crafted. Are you serious? Are you in a whole relationship over the burgers?

39:07Yeah, well, yeah, it is over the burgers. Yeah, well, have you tried the fries? Oh, I mean, yeah, the fries are pretty good. Yeah, yeah, no, they're quite young. Oh, yeah, but how are you? God. So it sounded like he got it in the end, eh?

39:21Mike Minogue:Yeah, I just feel sorry for him still, though. Yeah, it is. It's really sad. It is a sad one. What did I have on my face, Keezy? I don't know. White stuff. White stuff. Really? It's gone now, though, man. It's gone now, man, now. Why are you getting all weird about it? I'm not getting weird about it, man. I'm sorry. I'm just making the point. You were just saying, doing the... No, I wasn't. And I was like, what the... I'm one of those guys, if one of my mates has got something on their face, for example, Mike, who has chips on his face every day. That's true. I'm a pig. I always just go, hey, bro, I've got some chips just because I'd rather that than walk around all day.

39:54Well, you've got that massive white glob of tree sap in your hair, and I wouldn't have said anything, but you're the one that brought it up. I mean, it's grossing me out, to be honest.

40:04Mike Minogue:I'm sorry I pointed out the white crumb or whatever the hell it was on your face. I just want you to look great. I just want you to be great. I think it's a bit bloody out there when you're telling me I've got something on my face and you've got a big glob of tree sap in your hair. It is tree sap. God. Hey, coming up next, what's on the tea with me? Dinner. What? What's on the tea with me? Dinner. Text us 3483. What are you having for dinner? New Zealand, you can get a$50 reburger voucher. Sorry about Jase. Here's Metallica. The Hauraki Big Show. Weekdays from four on Radio Hauraki. David Bowie there on the Radio Hauraki Big Show this Tuesday night.

40:53This is one of my favourite parts of the week. Tuesday night with old Keezy and what's on the dinner?

40:59Mike Minogue:Oh, yeah, hey, guys. Text here from Steve. What's on the tea with me? Dinner.

41:08Mike Minogue:Nice, Pugs. Good work, mate. Nice. I tell you, man, I'm this close with Pugs at the moment. I think Pugs is this close. He's hating it. I am this close. I wouldn't push him, mate, because I think he's walking out the door. And also... I haven't seen Pugs smile for a month. Also... Am I right? Yeah, don't. You're the one that said it was called What's on the Tea with Me Dinner. You know what I mean? So he's just taken that and put it in a wacky radio stick. Yes, he did, didn't he? He did. Yes, he did, didn't he? Well, let's not let this take away from this amazing segment. Thank you. G'day, lads.

41:44Mike Minogue:Greg here from the BOP. Greg Alexander from the Penrith Panthers. Greg Preble. Greg Preble. The imprebnator. I'm fascinated to know what he's having for tea. Oh, Prebs. Prebs, our afternoon host. Yeah, a banana, a bit of fruit, and a herbal tea. That's at 3 p.m. every day, guys. Don't be stupid. That's what he has at 3 every day. G'day, lads. Greg Preble here from the BOP. The missus is cooking up a beautiful beef and venison lasagna. Cheers. That's good eating right there. Beef and venison, it's a common mix, Jase. A common mix of meats there. Jase. I would eat that. I would have it with a mash.

42:25Really? And probably a couple of greens. I'd probably go with just beans and broccoli. Just an easy thing to do. What we do mostly with the lasagna is a salad. Right. Just a regular green salad with a bit of avocado, some cherry tomatoes, that sort of thing. You're absolutely right. Time of year.

42:44Mike Minogue:Yes. I would just have a heap of broccoli on the side. And no potatoes or anything. Just a shite load of lasagna and a crap load of broccoli to make me feel better. G'day there, fellas. Dion here. Dion Nash, former New Zealand cricketer. Young Gun. Zaline. It is Celine Dion Oh is it Dion Celine? It's Dion Celine G'day fellas, Dion Celine here We have raw yellowfin tuna with a bit of soya sauce Cheers, Dion Celine Yep, that sounds good Really? Yeah Well I'd like a bit of wasabi with that, if you don't mind Even a little side dish of ginger Well I disagree on the ginger But it's not an entire meal You can't just eat raw fish would be, unless it's just a snack.

43:38That's insane. You can't just serve that to people. Well, I mean, they might have caught the tuna and there's crap loads of it. Even still, do you know what I mean? That needs to be with something, a rice or something. Just give me something, Keezy. Is that it? Deline Cileon? What about some broccoli?

43:54Mike Minogue:Yeah, that could be good, actually. Yeah, that sounds yum. Oh, really? What about like a nice garden salad? But it's that time of year, remember? Not with tuna, Keezy. Oh, you're an animal. How about this one, fellas? G'day, you pack of sickos. Dean here. Oh, Dean Martin. Dean Lonergan. It's Dean Martin. Crooner. Crooner? Yeah, singer and actor, yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah. How's it going, you pack of sickos? Dean Martin here, singer and actor. I feel very lucky to be enjoying a yummy hot hangi from the far north, Kaitaia. I might go back for seconds. It's that good. Cheers, fellas. That's from Dean Martin.

44:36How good. Hangi is bloody good. I've had a few shockers in my time, but hangi darn well is bloody good eating. And, of course, you've got to go back for seconds, man. You don't have just one helping of hangi. Yeah, I agree with that.

44:47Mike Minogue:What's your view on hangis, Jase, just before you answer? Racism alert. Racism alert. The Hauraki Big Show. Weekdays from four on Radio Hauraki. Bit of Lou Reed there to chill out on your Tuesday night, fellas. An extraordinary thing has happened in my life. As I was talking about earlier in the show, I'm going to be moving out of my house, right? And we've lived in this house, as I was saying, for over 25 years. Wow. It's a long time. It is. That's a quarter of a century. Almost. Has it flown by? Yes, it has. It really has flown by. I've almost been there for eight years, and it feels like I've been there for three years.

45:27Yes. Crazy. In fact, when my wife said that the other day, I was like, you're joking. You're kidding, aren't you? You're kidding me. But here's the thing. As you know, I've got a mammoth, sprawling property. It's huge. It's an estate. It's an estate, yes.

45:43Mike Minogue:Sorry, are you saying it's an estate? That's what I was saying, but I guess it is an estate as well. I consider it my estate. Huge back lawn, lots of vegetation, et cetera, et cetera, et cetera. For over 25 years, my wife has said to me, I hate gardening. I should let you know. And I said, that's okay. Old Hoody Jay's a bit of a green finger. It's a green thumb, isn't it? Oh, yeah. Well, that'll be why I'm not then, which I'm not. You know, I can grow the odd tomatoes that I can go and fart on during the summer, but that's about my way. So she's pretty overgrown. So here we are now, right, going, okay, we're going to move out.

46:25Let's just tidy the place up a bit, get it looking presentable. And so my wife starts gardening. and she's done the most extraordinary work at the front of our house. Right. And it looks unbelievably good. It makes our house look like a completely different house. And I was saying to her, that's amazing, babe. How are you finding that? She said, you know what? I'm actually really enjoying it. Right. I'm actually really enjoying gardening. Who knew? And it's like, good one. We've been waiting for 25 years for that to come out and now that we're moving, you discover your green finger. So after 25 years, you're growing apart.

47:04It's sad, isn't it? It's unbelievable. You think after all this time you'd know each other and then she starts doing this thing, which is weird. Yes. And unlikable.

47:12Mike Minogue:Because you're moving to an apartment, right? Yes. She probably won't want to go now because she wants to garden. Well, this is the other thing, you know, which we talked about last week, I think it was. You know, I don't want to have a situation where the place is looking so good that we don't want to move again. You know what I mean? and it's in that, say, we've got all these things fixed up and patched up, new decks. It's looking shit hot. Yeah. And my concern is my wife is going to go, oh, I don't want to move now. And plus, I love gardening. Yeah, right. Can you get me some horse manure? Well, I mean, if you guys stay, it's going to be back to an absolute hovel within the space of a month, wouldn't you say?

47:50It's only because you're leaving that it looks good. If you stay, you're going to ruin it again. Yeah. You've proven that already. Yeah, fair point. You can't be trusted with that house. Yeah, fair point. Yeah, yeah. So it's better to rent, eh, than own someone else's property. Absolutely. Okay, good. But I just couldn't believe it. After all this time, and now she discovers her green finger. It's a thug.

48:10Mike Minogue:The Hauraki Big Show with Jase, Mike and Keezy. Tune in weekdays at four on Radio Hauraki.

48:23Well, there you go, you mad bastards. That's a big show done and dusted for you Tuesday night. The podcast outro today, we had to put a disclaimer on it because, well, I mean, it wasn't actually filthy, but it did talk about topics that were, you know, for young kids, probably a bit confrontational. Unsputable for a younger audience. Unsputable, thank you.

48:43Mike Minogue:Pugs has actually got the disclaimer for us to play, just so that people can be aware of it before they choose to listen to that podcast. Yeah, hi there, all you podcast listeners. Just want to put a little disclaimer at the front of this podcast. Not suitable for children. There's a lot of buggery talk. Yeah, there's a few topics touched on there. A lot of interesting facts I think you'll find, but there is probably just a little disclaimer that needs to be had. Bugger me!

49:12Mike Minogue:Should we be taking the piss, you know, during a disclaimer like that? No, I think that's fine. No, I think that's totally legit, Keezy. What are you doing tonight, Moggy? Great question, mate. I'm not entirely sure. It feels like it might be a nice evening for a stroll or something. My bike's in the shop today, so I'll get that back tomorrow. Is it getting serviced? It's getting serviced. You're going to have a freshly serviced bicycle. It's going to be all serviced, et cetera, et cetera. So I'm looking forward to that, but I feel like I need to do some kind of exercise. Good stuff, mate. Hey, Keezy, you were texting your wife a little earlier for what's on the dinner with Keezy's wife.

49:52What are you having, man?

49:54Mike Minogue:Yeah, it's a little segment I like to play with her. She said some chicken lemongrass thing, but I don't know if I'll get around to cooking it. You might have to do it. She's got squash tonight, and then they're going out for squash drinks. This is out the gate. It is every single night she is going out. No, it isn't. It's Mondays and Tuesdays. It is Mondays and Tuesdays. She is busy, has touched, and then squashed. That is it. She's not having an affair. We're not breaking up. All right? Okay Okay Do you think it's Can you clip this off man No And just when you know When it all happens Yeah No What are you doing Jase Do you think she's maybe a little Disgusted by the tree sap in your hair I'll get her to help me get it out Oh that's nice Yeah she'll be able to I'm sure she would know how to do it Well my wife just texted me Ree what's for tea And it's next level not happy Yeah sausages and stuffed pasta do you want to say bye alright then bye