FULL SHOW: Shifting Into Neutral

12:07Keyzie:Yeah, good on you, Ben. Tell me, mate, what do you do for a crust?

12:12Jase:I'm a school teacher, fellas. Oh! You enjoying the holidays, man? Oh, hey, not yet, bro. Come on, man. We don't claim it into neutral. We're about to turn the whole bitch off.

12:23Keyzie:Yeah, nice. Hey, Ben, what sort of year? What age?

12:28Jase:I was year four, five and six what are they about eight or nine ten I can't work it out man

12:35Keyzie:yeah it's just so confusing these days hey Ben if you were to win this comp who are you taking with taking the missus with me lads yeah good on you mate you've really got to do that in that scenario I just can't see you getting away with not doing that right she's a good bloke she's a good bloke good on you Ben stay on the line and I'll pack some we'll take care of you g'day Paul Paul, how's life? G'day, fellas. G'day, fellas. Tell me, Paul, are you winding down for Christmas or are you still going hard? I'm still going hard, buddy. What do you do for a crust, you sicko? I'm a commercial builder.

13:14Keyzie:Oh, you're a backbone. Yeah, backbone. Commercial backbone. That makes sense. Yeah. Hey, Paul, have you got a passport, man? Somewhere. Yeah, right. And are you legally allowed to leave the country? yep okay cool just a bit uncertain there a bit worried about Paul and if you win this if you win this prize bro who are you taking with you I take the ball and chain

13:36Jase:yeah good on you man good on you mate the old ball and chain that's another name for your wife Kesey because I say sort of drags you down you know what I mean slows you down if it wasn't for her just think of all the things you'd be up to but you can't yeah I think I've heard Hoody Jay used that phrase a few times alright Paul you're in the draw mate you hold the line pug style I'll saw you out alright cheers boys good on you good on you Paul What a backbone that guy was. Hey, fellas, did you know with Air New Zealand's nonstop Auckland to Los Angeles service and seamless USA connections with the United Airlines, you can experience it all?

14:11Can I? Literally everything can be experienced. Wow. Isn't that great? That is so cool, Keezy. By the way, we're going to be calling up the winner of this competition next week. Oh, yes. So only a few more days left. Get yourself in the drawer. It's a biggie. Yes, it is a biggie. It's a monster. If you hear that cue to call again, get ready to call 0800-HAURAKI.

14:29Keyzie:In the meantime, let's get a bit of rage inside us. The Hauraki Big Show with Jase, Mike and Kesey. Tune in weekdays at four on Radio Hauraki. In excess there on the Radio Hauraki Big Show this Tuesday afternoon. Let's talk TV. What's on the telly with Mike Minogue?

15:04Jase:Fellas, last night I watched a movie called Jay Kelly. It's on Netflix there. It stars George Clooney, Adam Sandler. Big names. Big names. Laura Dern, directed by Noah Bombach. And the director, he's sort of this New York guy who's been around forever. He's a bit of an institution there. He's done some other films which I've really liked, including The Squid and the Whale, which is the first one I've watched of his, I think, which had Jeff Bridges in it. Greenberg, Francis Ha, Marriage Story, which was a big one with Adam Driver and Scarlett Johansson. So he's done some good stuff. Funny story about those movies.

15:44I've never heard of any of them.

15:46Jase:Yeah, no surprises there, Kesey. Critically acclaimed and Academy Award winners. Wow. But yes, this is not a good film. I'm sorry I'd love to say it's good but once again I've been met with a film that I don't like my wife and I were in discussions about last night, is it us? maybe it is us, I don't know, but I used to love films and now everything I watch is not enjoyable. What about when you watch films from back when you used to love films? They're still good, they don't get bad but this one, no bueno he plays a movie star that is sort of investigating his life, what has he done, he hasn't raised his kids properly so he goes on a trip overseas and he's followed around by Adam Sandler who's his agent and Laura Dern who's his publicist and they end up going on the train with the common folk and all this sort of stuff while he tries to track down his daughter so that he can hang out with her and just be annoying.

16:37Jase:It's super annoying. Some good bits in it but by and large yeah we turned it off, put it that way. No surprises there in an old Mogey's house. It's called Jay Kelly it's on Netflix, I give it two buzzies, but I wouldn't recommend you watch it. But I'd love to know if anybody thought it was good. It's not been reviewed very well at all, although George Clooney, who plays George Clooney in this movie, has been nominated for a Golden Globe today for his performance as George Clooney. Right, okay. Well, he's probably best suited to do it.

17:08Keyzie:I've never quite... I don't know how to take Adam Sandler. All right. I just... I don't know. I've just never... He's done some really good stuff. He has. And he's done some absolute pap as well.

17:21Jase:Yeah, early comedies were great. His drama's like Punch Drunk Love from Paul Thomas Anderson. That is an all-time great film and a great performance. He's good in this as well. Yes. But it's just a mediocre film. Bess Adam Sandler. We talking Wedding Singer, Happy Gilmore, Little Nicky, that sort of stuff. Yeah, for me. Mine's Happy Gilmore and Wedding Singer. Punch Drunk Love and the early comedies. Yeah, happy, no. What was the first one? Billy Madison. Billy Madison. Yeah, I actually forgot about Billy Madison.

17:52Keyzie:I watched a show last night, a movie last night called The Correspondent with Richard Roxburgh, who is an Australian actor. And he did a series called Rake. He did. Which I very much enjoyed, actually, back in the day. The story of the arrest, trial and imprisonment of Australian journalist Peter Grest, who, while reporting on the Arab Spring uprising, becomes entangled in a deadly game of rivalries. It's a true story. And it's one of those classic situations where he's a journalist, obviously, is a true story. He's a correspondent. He's a correspondent. He's just reporting the news. And in the country that he's in, Egypt, they don't like the news he's reporting.

18:33Keyzie:So they basically arrest him. And he gets chucked in an Egyptian prison. That'll be the only kind they've got there, isn't it? Yeah. Is that like a pyramid or something? It's very, very miserable. And he doesn't know what he's done wrong. Right. And he's in there for months and months and months. The trial is an absolute debacle. Like, the court system is completely corrupt. A kangaroo court. A kangaroo court. Ironically. Very much so. Also, his brother is the actor who played the brother of, what was our show that we love together, Mogi? Mr. Talkback. No, Mr. In Between. Yes. Mr. In Between. Oh, right.

19:10Keyzie:His brother. Yeah, right. Is in it as well. It's a very good movie if you like that sort of thing. people that go through this all around the world where you just don't stand a chance. Yeah. You know what I mean? Because it's just all rigged against you. But he keeps his humanity and keeps fighting. It's good film. It's called The Correspondent. Where did you watch it? Netflix. How many buzzies out of five do you give it? I'll give it 3.2 buzzies.

19:33Jase:The way you talk about things is they're always really good and then it just scrapes through on a record hand. Just, yeah. Yeah. But I like that. Who knows what's going on? Yeah. I watched half of a comedy last night, 10 minutes, then my wife got tired and had to go to bed. I know how she feels to it. Yeah, she's very tired to me. Did you go to bed too? No, no, I played PlayStation. Do you want me to talk about that? I was playing Dark Souls, man. Have you heard of Dark Souls? Who hasn't? The Hauraki Big Show with Jace, Mike and Kesey. Tune in weekdays at four on Radio Hauraki.

20:04Keyzie:ACDC there on the Radio Hauraki Big Show this Tuesday afternoon. The time is five minutes to five o 'clock. Now listen up. Plenty coming up after five o 'clock including a chat to boxer David Nika. That's right, he's fighting this weekend, fellas. Who's he fighting, Keezy, do you know? Let me just get the guy's name here because it's one I've never heard. Wujati Nurlang. Wujati Nurlang. Okay, we'll be speaking to him after five o 'clock. No, we'll be speaking to David Nika, not Wujati Nurlang. Also, apparently Keezy needs to ask us a favour movie. I need to ask you a favour movie. I'm always here for you, man.

20:38Yeah, it's just something that, you know, it's around nicknames on the big show. Yeah. And it's just one nickname. I think I just need a nip in the bud. Okay, sure. That's all good.

20:47Keyzie:Is it to do with nips? No, it's not to do with nips. Well, I mean, if we're going to get on that train, I'm going to jump aboard. What's that? The nicknames.

21:04Jase, Mike and Keezy. Tune in weekdays at four on Radio Hauraki.

21:09Keyzie:Welcome back, you massive backbones. Hope you're surviving the scorching Tuesday afternoon. Well, in Auckland anyway. You're listening to The Big Show, brought to you by Reburg Gear. Serving good times and good feud. Dine in or take away Reburg Gear today.

21:30Keyzie:And by the way, Keezy, it's food, not feud. Is it? Am I saying it right? It's Reburg Gear though, right? Yes, but it's food, not feud. I've been saying feud this entire time. A feud is where you have a bit of a biffo. I thought that was a food. No. Oh. It's good to learn new stuff every day, though. Thanks, Jase. I appreciate it, man. What a time to be alive. Speaking of burgers, I'm making homemade burgers tonight. Wait, so you're doing a re-burger out of a penny, are you? What a back mark.

21:58Jase:Yeah, totally, man. Do you ever think about re-burger, man, and perhaps they could use your money there? Times are tough out there, brother.

22:04Keyzie:Well, apparently, because the food is so good, they are thriving. Oh, so they don't want people to go. Is that what you're saying, Chaz? Oh, no, they want people to go. What I'm saying is they're doing so well I don't need to help them. Oh, okay. And the food speaks for itself, doesn't it, Fjellas? Well, it doesn't speak. It doesn't speak for itself. The food doesn't literally speak for itself. Are you getting prickly at me, Keezy, because I picked you up on feud? No, no, no, no. I don't want to turn this into some sort of feud. Right, okay. Is it food or feud? Food. I don't want to turn this into some sort of food.

22:37Keyzie:Hey, coming up, this is going to be interesting. Old Keezy needs a favourite from the fellas. Good on you guys. I appreciate it. And in advance, thank you in advance, you know. You're all good, man. He's queen to the stone age. The Hauraki Big Show with Jase, Mike and Keezy. Tune in weekdays at four on Radio Hauraki. Radio head there on the Radio Hauraki Big Show this Tuesday afternoon. The time, 11 minutes past five o 'clock. Hey, fellas, all GF, we just have a little bit of a chat. Sure, man. I just need to ask a favour. Have we got a sting for that, Kesey? Because I feel like we should do because you asked for so many favours.

23:12Keyzie:You are. Well, like a little bit of a chat sting or favour? Favour boy. Can I ask a favour? Favour boy. I've got this one. Show meeting! Show meeting! Show me the meeting! Show meeting is now in progress. Will that do? No. Not really. Okay. Listen, I've got a favour to ask you fellas. Last night, my wife got home late.

23:39Jase:Again. It sounds to me like she's getting home right on time. What do you mean? Well, she comes home later and later and later. It's not an accident. She's not late. No, I know, because last night she played touch rugby after work with her work touch team. I heard that that league finished weeks ago. Yeah. She came home with rugby boots and a little playing bib.

24:03Keyzie:Oh, I'm sure she had all the stuff.

24:04Jase:Oh, she's got all the gears. And she had a visor on as well. Did you say a bib? Yeah, a touch bib.

24:12Keyzie:Oh, yeah. Not like a bib that you'd wear if you were eating. Like a bib. I know the ones you're talking about. I don't know if you do. But anyway, she comes home. I'm cooking dinner because I was home first. Yeah. Were you wearing an apron or anything? No, I was wearing a bib. A bib. And then she says, oh, so random. Some guy comes up to me today and he goes, hey, are you married to old Birdshit Keezy? And she has never heard that nickname before. Just for the listeners out there, in high school one time, as a joke, a bit of water landed on my shoulder. And I went, what was that? And then my mate went, oh, it was Birdshit.

24:56And then they started calling me Birdshit Chris.

24:58Jase:Which is one of the greatest nicknames of all time. It's not one of the greatest nicknames of all time. Bird shit Chris. See that, man?

25:07Keyzie:Not what? It just rolls off the tongue for some reason. It's the one, man. Bird shit Chris. Well, I was just wondering if maybe you guys wouldn't mind, because my wife has never even heard it, you know, and we've got a random guy coming up and saying it to her. I'm just wondering if maybe we just park the whole bird shit Chris thing.

25:26Jase:I don't think we've even gotten out of the park completely at the moment. We've started the car. We've looked over our shoulder. We're sort of pulling out into traffic a little bit, but we haven't even got the engine warmed up. Well, that's good. So what I would like to do is just sort of, you know, turn it off at the ignition there, take the key out of the ignition, hop out, lock the car, and just sort of throw those keys down a drain. It's a great idea, Keyes. I'll tell you what, you're absolutely right. Big poll. Bird shit, Chris, yes or no? No, no, no, no, no, no. I don't want to do a big poll because I know what the audience will say.

25:56They will say yes. I'm actually, I don't mean to sidebar this.

26:02Keyzie:Right. But I'm just curious how this dude who went up to your wife knew that she was married to you. I don't know. Maybe social media? That's true. Yeah, she was actually, she was like, oh. And then so the fact that he recognised her and then said a nickname that she'd not heard of but said Keezy at the end of it, she assumed it was something from the show. She was right. Yeah. Someone's texted through here on 3483, Bird Shit Tony. So that still is the same. It's the first part I'm trying to just get rid of because it doesn't really make sense. I have to explain the story.

26:34Jase:Well, it's a good story, though.

26:35Keyzie:It takes you back to when you're at school. Funnily enough, I think it's rich that you're asking for that. We were having a chat yesterday about my nicknames. What's your nicknames again? What's your nickname? What one? Jizzbot. Oh, Jizzbot. Jizzbot.

26:50Jase:What's the other one? Janus? Hoody Janus.

26:55Keyzie:Yeah, Hoody Janus. Well, how about this? Here's the deal. I'll stop calling you Hoity Janus if we just get rid of the whole Bird Shit Chris thing. I don't think it's fair for it. I can live with that if I can still call you Bird Shit Chris. So your proposition is that we just keep everything? We just stick with it.

27:10Jase:We just hold on to it, Keezy, and we own it. What about this one here from Gary on 3483? Bird Shit Chris all day. All day. You see?

27:20Keyzie:No breaks. Can I just suggest, Keezy, what you've done there and asking for this favour is merely pour gasoline on the flames. Yeah. Damage has got you right. And now, bird shit Chris is settled in the vernacular. Yeah, you're right. Yeah. Okay, you know what, fellas? Just forget I even said anything. It's all G.

27:54Alice in Chains, Jase?

27:55Keyzie:I think so, man. Crank it up, man. Bit of fat bass. This one rules. The Hauraki Big Show with Jace, Mike and Keezy. Tune in weekdays at four on Radio Hauraki. Foo Fight is there on the Radio Hauraki Big Show this Tuesday afternoon. Now, fellas, we love a bit of boxing action, don't we? Yeah. A bit of dush, dush. Duh, dush, dush, dush. Dush, dush, dush. Hey, well, exciting news with that in mind. We've got the one, the only David Nika on the line. G'day David, you stallion. How's life? G'day lads, I'm well. Good on you mate. Now I understand, and I didn't know about this until today, you my friend are stepping back into the ring this weekend.

28:37Yeah man, getting busy again. We're going to cap the year off with a bang. And yeah, what better place to have it than our backyard. So very, very blessed to be able to fight here at home in Gatton and have it televised and broadcasted back to New Zealand on TVNZ. Yeah, well that's the thing. this Saturday, the 13th of December. It is going to be broadcast on TVNZ. The coverage on TVNZ 2 and TVNZ Plus starts at 7.30pm, goes till 10.30pm and Dave's fight is scheduled to start at around about 9.30pm. Dave, what can you tell us about your opponent, mate? Wujati Nurlang. Yeah, he's fluctuated in weight a fair bit.

29:13I think he campaigned at super middleweight a fair while back, but he's blown up as big as 250 pounds from what I've heard. So I really have no idea what I'm going to be looking at come weigh-in day.

29:27Jase:Well, you've had a few different things go on there, haven't you? We were very privileged to see you have a scrap here, and I believe it was in Auckland from memory. It was. Yes. And you had a late pull-out, and they had to find some fella from the States to come out, and you smacked him around pretty good, actually, and made short work of him. So you've had to sort of face late changes and make adjustments throughout your career, haven't you? Yeah, yeah, that's kind of the whole art of boxing, really, is being able to adapt and overcome, you know. So, yeah, this will be no different. I've got a tough, durable opponent.

30:00He's got 13 knockouts out of his 17 wins. So I'm expecting him to come out and just engage in a firefight, and I'll be ready.

30:10Keyzie:I've had a look at him, David. I did some study on him. I just wanted to see what kind of fighter he was. I think he's weak in the kidneys, mate. So kidney punch, kidney punch, massive uppercut, du-du-she's on the mat. Oh, it sounds like a plan. It sounds like you've done more study than I have.

30:27Jase:Another opportunity I saw for you there was liver shot, liver shot, liver shot, liver shot, kick in the teeth. Call me the liver king by the end of the night, eh? Yeah, man, let's go. Hey, Dave, just doing some Instagram stalking, man. I see you've got chickens, bro. Are those at your house? Yes, yeah, those are my baby raptors. Yeah, right. They're laying six eggs a day at the moment. Oh, how good. Six each or one each? One each, yeah. I think I've been getting a fair few double yorkers lately, which is meant to be good luck or treat that like a good omen. I used to have chickens when I was a younger man, and we used to hypnotise them.

31:06Jase:Have you ever got into that? I've tried once. I've tried once, but I think it takes a bit of practice. because I've got a short attention span of a problem. There's a couple of ways you can do it. One is that you force their beak underneath their wing and you rock them to sleep. The other way is that you hold their heads down to the ground and you draw a chalk line out from their beak about six inches. It's a bloody weird sensation. God knows how they discovered it. Yeah. I tried the first one. I tried the first one, the beak under the wing. Yeah. Derek wasn't too pleased about it. No, don't push too hard, mate.

31:42Keyzie:Don't push too hard. Isn't it true too, but you can get like a cone situation and you put a bit of feed in it and they shove their heads in there and then because they can't see anything, they just immediately lie down.

31:53Jase:That sounds about right, yeah. That wouldn't surprise me. I'm the rooster, so they're very, very submissive, so they just follow me around. I take them for a walk every day. I walk them across the field to go scratch some bugs and stuff. So, yeah, they're like my best mates, eh? Yeah, well, because I used to own chickens, Dave. We had Lemon, we had Pidgey, we had Beatrice and Gail. They used to have scraps and stuff as well. But is the reason you've got chickens for the amount of eggs that you eat? Pretty much, pretty much, yeah. We've actually ended up, there was a fair old shortage for a while, so I was actually supplying the local cafes, which is hilarious.

32:34Right, right, so you're an egg dealer. Pretty much, yeah.

32:39Keyzie:Did you ever feed the chickens, Kesey? Me, personally, my job was to feed the chickens, so I was feeding the chickens every single morning. I bet you were. Hey, but Dave, we didn't call you up to talk about chickens, even though I'd love to, man. At this point in your journey, you know, you got the fight this weekend. How dialled in are you? I'm dialled in. I'm dialled in. We've had a fair bit of prep for this one. I had an eight-week camp thinking I was going to be fighting on Joseph Parker's last card.

33:07Jase:Right. So I pretty much just back that up with another four to six weeks of work. And I'm ready, man. I'm just as ready for the fight as I am for a holiday, though. Yeah, right. Absolutely. Well, what better way to kick into a holiday than smacking some guy over? Exactly, yeah. Send him home. Send him home running. That's the way I prepare as well. David Nuka fighting this weekend. Once again, it's on TVNZ 2 and TVNZ Plus from 7.30 p.m. The fight starts at 9.30. David Nuka, thanks so much for talking to us, mate, and good luck against Mujati Newlang. Thank you very much. Good talking. Thanks, guys.

33:41The Hauraki Big Show with Jace, Mike and Kesey. Tune in weekdays at four on Radio Hauraki.

33:47Keyzie:OEM there on the radio. Hauraki Big Show this Tuesday afternoon. Just a reminder too, it's a Tuesday. So send through those texts on 3483 for what's on the dinner with me. Oh, no, what's on the... What is it? What's on the tea with me dinner. Oh, yeah, that's it. Let's just put it back to what it was called. And on 3483, everyone that texts through what they're having for dinner goes in the draw for a$50 Reburger voucher. Reburger? Reburger. Hey, fellas, I've got breaking news.

34:22This is Breaking News. In Christchurch today. Today. An adventurous yet persistent baby fur seal was rescued and released twice after being spotted wandering through suburban Christchurch. Did you guys hear about this? Yes. Oh, you did? Right. Okay. Well, apparently it came from around the headland past Taylor's Mistake there, which is sort of out past Sumner. Taylor's Mistake? That's what it's called, yeah. What a great name. That's great.

34:52Keyzie:Yeah. I can't remember why it was called that. I think Captain Park there and sank or something. That's bloody good. Do you think his name was Taylor? I think so. Yeah, like just crashed into the corner of the reef there or something. There's no reef there. I don't know. I don't know. Bugger that up. Right. I don't know, but it's called Taylor's Mistake. Nice. Yes. But anyway, the seal sort of was walking into suburban Christchurch there and had to be rescued twice. And the issue they're saying is that baby seals, they're very impressionable. Right. So if one just comes up, let's say, walking into a cafe, and you serve it and it orders a coffee or something like that.

35:25Keyzie:Like a fluffy. Yes. Maybe it orders a fluffy or whatever. They're saying, don't sort of go up to it, don't pick it up, don't feed it, because then it will become used to human connection and will start seeking it out.

35:37Jase:They're very quick to assimilate. Are they? They really are. It's one of those things, it's like with birds, isn't it? The first thing a bird sees when it cracks out of the egg, it regards as being its mother. Right. and baby seals are very quick to adjust or alter who they regard as being a parent or part of their family. Wow.

35:59Keyzie:This actually hits really close to home for me because my wife, well, we're in the same situation, but it was in Dunedin, actually. We stumbled upon a little baby seal, and my wife's a very compassionate, thoughtful person, so she breastfed it. Yes. And could we get rid of the bastard? I don't think so. You can't. No.

36:19Jase:You can't, and that's the thing. In that music article there, Kesey, where you say they set it free and then it came back. That's right. It's an example of if you love something, set it free, and if it comes back, it's yours, and if it doesn't, then it was never yours to begin with, which means the seal is yours under New Zealand law, and you can keep it. So it's a finders-keepers-losers-weepers situation, but sort of more in your nautical animals, sort of flora, fauna sort of thing. Right. Yeah. Yeah. I don't know what it's got to do with flowers and birds. Flora fauna, right? Well, that there is wildlife.

36:52Keyzie:Wildlife. Yeah, right. So what ended up happening to that one, man? Oh, we still got it. Yeah. But it wasn't actually a seal. It was a sea lion. Big bastard. Barking bastards. Still breastfeed. No, it's hooked. Yeah. When was this that you first met the sea lion? Oh, about 17 years ago. So you've been living with a sea lion for 17 years. Yeah, the duck doesn't like it. Yeah, well, look, DOC or DOC. Yes. They're saying don't go near baby seals and just leave them to it and call DOC. Unless you want it.

37:23Jase:Unless you want it. Then you can go up and pad it. Yeah, yeah. Fastest way to get yourself a new seal, go and pad it. A new seal? What happened to the old one? Did you blow a seal? Wait, what?

37:38The Hauraki Big Show with Jace, Mike and Keezy. Tune in weekdays at four on Radio Hauraki.

37:43Keyzie:Sure is The Big Show and you're listening to it. It's brought to you by Reburg Gear. Craveworthy street food freshly made with Reburg Gear.

37:55Okay, here it is. Is Reburg Gear A. Yum. B. Yummy. C. Yum, yum, yum. Or D. Yeah. I really thought it'd be harder. Yeah, look, it's looking dead. You're looking in D? For$1 million, the correct answer is... D,$1 million. You just won it. Yeah.

38:32Keyzie:I meant to ask you, actually, Mogie. You were talking about how important your dinner was last night. Oh. After a big weekend, you have the sort of hangover dinner. Yeah. And the next dinner is equally important. What did you run with in the end?

38:46Jase:Nothing. There was some leftover ravioli that my daughter had. Nothing else was on the offering. I was offered to cook some chicken with some asparagus and a salad. I said, I'll just finish up the ravioli because I can't be ass-cooking anything. So it was a bit of a letdown. Nobody's fault but my own. Yeah, yeah. It's disappointing. Devastating. Hey, Jase, you said earlier in the show that you were making burgers tonight. What kind of burgers?

39:16Keyzie:Beef burgers. Right. Cheese burger, actually, specifically. Oh, Jase burger. You're making the patties yourself? I've already made the patties. What did you make them out of? Mints and breadcrumb and egg and salt and pepper. Onion? No. What? Oh, jeez. I fry off the onions separately and put them in the burger. Oh, yes. Right, do you caramelise them? Yes. Okay, and do you put any spices in the patties? Spice. Just salt and pepper. Right, okay. Oh, that sounds yum. Thanks, man. Oh, and a bit of nutmeg. Really? Yes, a bit of cinnamon. Oh, cinnamon. Cinnamon. Cinnamon in a burger. Yeah. That's weird, isn't it?

39:55Keyzie:You'd be surprised, man. A bit of star anise. Nirvana. The Hauraki Big Show. Weekdays from four on Radio Hauraki. Crowded house here on the Radio Hauraki Big Show this Tuesday evening. But right now it's time for... Oh, yeah. Hey, guys. Here's a text here from Steve. What's on the tea with me, dinner?

40:18Yes, it's what's on the tea with me, dinner? Which is a shit name for a segment, but now it's sticking for some reason. It's where you text in what you're having for dinner or tea, and then I read it out, and then you go in the draw for a$50 Reburger voucher, 3483. Keep the text coming. G'day, fellas.

40:38Jase:Hey, man. Liam here. Oh, Liam Neeson. Gallagher. Liam Neeson. Wow. Having a couple of tubes and a vape in the tractor, that's all I need. Cheers, Liam. That's the spirit, man. Backbone.

40:51Keyzie:Yeah, massive backbone. That's backbone stuff. G'day there. You're probably going to have a suck on a cow teat later on. Yeah? Yeah, yeah. The teat? Yes. G'day there, fellas. Bit of cow pussy. Colin here.

41:06Jase:Oh, my. Farrell? Colin Farrell Oscar P Colin Oscar P It's Colin Oscar P Having some bacon and eggs Classic breakfast for dinner gag YOLO YOLO you only live once Jase Yeah man You know what I mean And that is true I like bacon and eggs So do I At this time of the night I would like it probably With some sliced tomatoes in it And on some kind of Like a toasted sour dough bun Might be the last I hear of that. Sour bro? What the hell is a sour bro? Someone who's really disappointed with their dinner, which won't be this guy because it sounds delicious. One of the bros has had a bad dinner. He's a bit sour.

41:48Keyzie:I'd be tempted too, Mogi, in that sense. A couple of slices of avocado on the side, perhaps. Yeah, absolutely. Maybe a little dollop of pesto.

41:55Jase:I'll tell you what, the thing that sets off an avocado, a slice of avocado like you're describing there, Jase, salt. Yes. God, it lifts the game of an avo. Actually, avo on toast, right? Yes. So you put the avo down there, diced red onion, sprinkling of, salt, as you mentioned. You've got to have it. And a few splashes of sriracha hot chilli on it. Oh, see, I find it overrides. I find it overrides, but I've always got the cracked pepper. You've got to have the cracked pepper. Have we got tomato on there, did you say? No tomato, no. No tomato, okay.

42:23Keyzie:But happy to have it. All right. You see, in that regard, if it's on my toast, a little bit of salt and pepper and a bit of aioli. Ooh, aioli. Yuck. Yuck. That's disgusting. G'day there, fellas. Suzanne here. Princess. Susanna, yeah. That's Rosanna. But it is. No, it's Susanna. It's Toto. It's Rosanna Toto. G'day, fellas. Making a chicken palm. But it's actually just a chicken schnitty with double cheese sizzlers on top and a dollop of barbecue sauce.

42:58Jase:Cheese snizzlers. Sizzlers. Snizzlers. Do you remember those? My God. Yeah, I do. meat product they're called, Jase. They're not actually a sausage. They're a meat product.

43:08Keyzie:Yes, just stuffed with cheese. The sort of thing that young

43:11Jase:Keasy would eat. Oh, we used to demo them. To be fair to them, they're bloody delicious, but there's no way, well, look, I don't want to make any disparaging remarks about the Sizzler, but I think they might be shit-ass. That's your opinion. Yeah, it's my, one man's opinion.

43:27Keyzie:But also, what are you doing chucking it on top of, you know, a chicken snitty. Making a chicken parm. Parmigiana. It's from Europe. Have you not heard of that? Have you been there, man?

43:39Jase:So is that? A little bit of ham. So instead of the ham, you've got some chopped up sausages.

43:43Keyzie:Oh, yeah, okay.

43:43Jase:Is that European, is it? Parmigiana is chicken with some cheese on it and tamati. Is it? Not any ham in there? No, you're right. I don't think so. Although a bit of ham would be nice too. Sounds delicious. That's a cordon bleu.

43:53Keyzie:I like a chicken schnitzy. Schnitty. Schnitty. You can't say I like, you clearly don't because no one says, You've never heard of it. I like a chicken schnitzy. God Sorry to be such a sour bro about it But I think If you're going to say you like something You have to pronounce it right G'day there fellas Tui there Taka Prince Tui Taka Yeah is it? Prince Tui Taka Yeah yeah I'm having seal steak tonight

44:22Jase:Seal steak? Yeah What do you mean? Have you ever eaten seal? Only if it's been run over I only have it if it's been road killed So he's talking about A seal that swims in the ocean sometimes. Yeah, I guess so, yeah. Yeah, okay. Yeah, man, good eating. Good eating. All right. Can be. Would you eat a seal? Oh, you've eaten one before? Yes. Yeah. All right, okay, I wouldn't eat one personally. All right, last one there, fellas. G'day, fellas. Sally here. Sally, Jesse, Raphael. 100%. Dinner tonight, boned chicken thighs marinated in lime juice, chili, garlic, fresh ginger, soy, and fish sauce. and then cooked on the barbecue, served on a rice noodle salad with cucumber, red caps, can finely slice carrots and bean sprouts, topped off with lime and soy and garlic dressing.

45:13The Hauraki Big Show, weekdays from four on Radio Hauraki.

45:17Keyzie:She-hard there on the Radio Hauraki Big Show this glorious Tuesday evening. Sorry, fellas. Old Pugs-san just said something before we went on air and it just put me off kilter for a second. She-hard, don't you mean he-hard? Yeah, he had. In that vein. What vein? That's disgusting, Jase. You put me off now. This is what I'm saying, man. It just really threw me. You know what he's like, though? He's just filth, constant filth. He's a disgusting. It's been a revelation, I'll be honest with you, learning about Pugs' sexuality. Anyway, now listen, Golf Friday, we're playing Ambrose together. Fellas, how are we feeling about that?

45:55Keyzie:It's the three of us, guys.

45:56Jase:I'm feeling good about it, man. Yeah, so am I. Obviously, it's three person. and explain Ambrose there for us, Kesey, and also that, you know, obviously I'm terrible, I don't play at all, and so at some point you're going to have to use one of my strokes, I'm assuming. Yeah, well, that's the thing. I haven't had a rundown of the official rules, but basically Chasing the Foxes this Friday at Royal Auckland and Grange. Earlier in the day, we are competing in a sort of non-broadcast version of Chasing the Fox going up against, I think, commercial sponsors and things. I think the Herald's got a team, the ACC's got a team, things like that, and it is the three of us.

46:28Now, Ambrose is where we each tee off, and then whoever's ball is best, we then pick up the other two and all hit from that spot. Right. And that's how it works for the whole game.

46:37Keyzie:And to be fair, Mogi, I saw you play some beautiful shots in Fiji. So you're going to be there, mate. Well, the fact that it's Ambrose is certainly going to work in our favour. Well, because basically what it means is, this is what I discovered when we played it the other day, you get three chances. Yep. You know what I mean? And so you can actually take a few more risks. You guys can do your crazy smash down the line, and I can play old man golf. Yes. So I can just hit it straight in about 20 metres. We can use that if you guys go massively wayward.

47:10Jase:I've got to say I'm really looking forward to it. We'll be out there a little bit earlier in the day, get a feel for the course. Apparently, by all accounts, it's a beautiful course. It's going to be beautiful. Have you played out there before?

47:21Keyzie:No, never, never. It's going to be amazing. I've never played out there. I was out there last year for Chasing the Fox. Bit of a hazy memory of the day, to be honest. But I remember having an absolute ball. Yes. And it is one of the fancier golf courses that we will have ever played on. So it's just not, you know.

47:39Jase:Don't embarrass ourselves. And we're playing can a hole, is that right? But there's only six holes. So should that be two cans a hole? Oh, that's a good point. I don't know. Is it can a hole? Yeah, I think so. Right, okay. So that's a six-pack chase.

47:51Keyzie:Well, that puts another spin on it altogether. together. My concern is, because it is going to be a beautiful golf course, that we're going to hack the crap out of it. Massive divots everywhere before they start.

48:03Jase:Hundies, I mean, my idea is that we make some real damage to it before the competition proper begins. Yeah, on the TV. And then they go, oh wow, what's that? Where the balls landed there? Old Mogi was hacking away there earlier. Mogi's corner. Yeah, yeah. Mogi's moat. What would you say your speciality is? Just wandering around. I'm talking shit. It's got to be my speciality. Like golf-wise? Oh, golf, yeah, because you've got to have one of those guys that's sort of wandering around, bit of chit-chat, bagging the other guys, putting them off their game. I think that's going to be my specialty.

48:32Jase:Yeah, good. And I don't care that I'll be terrible, as long as you guys are sort of going good, you know? Yeah, right, okay. I don't think I've ever gone. Have you got a specialty, Kesey? What's your specialty? Probably putting. Oh! Jase, come on, man. Yeah, what's your specialty? You must agree, Jase, that putting's probably my specialty. Oh. No. Really?

48:51Keyzie:You don't agree? Yeah, no, he's a pretty good putter. I'll give him that. And what about you, Jase?

48:54Jase:You would be off the tee, wouldn't you? Straight down the guts.

48:57Keyzie:Well, generally, my biggest strength is I'm generally pretty straight. So he'll hit it literally 100 metres dead straight. Right. And then we'll have wild swings at it, try to go for 200 metres. They'll slice out of bounds and then we'll take Jase's shot every time.

49:11Jase:Absolutely. That's how it works. Oh, great. Yeah. Looking forward to it. Of course, the official event's going to be broadcast on TVNZ, which is bloody exciting. The ACC commentating. It will be supporting team media, Di Henwood, and also Jeremy Wells playing in team media. And the big show's going to be live from the Heineken Silver Tent. Can't wait, fellas. Froth. The Hauraki Big Show with Jace, Mike and Kesey. Tune in weekdays at four on Radio Hauraki.

49:42Keyzie:Well, there you go, you mad bastards. That's the big show done and dusted this Tuesday evening on the podcast outro today. Good news. We didn't have to put a disclaimer on it. Oh, no, you're right. It was our squeaky clean. Still good, obviously. Was it?

49:57Jase:I can't remember a thing about it. Neither. No. The clip here is about boating. Boating. There's no way boating could be filthy, could it?

50:06Keyzie:Well, I guess we'll find out when you play it, Keezy. If Jay's had anything to do with it. Yeah, true. Actually, motorboating. Anyway, here's a clip. He literally would just back it in, let them go, drive off, park the trailer, and then sit down again. That's a f***ing great idea because the amount of debacles I've seen at boat ramps... But would you be of any use? No, I wouldn't be. I'd be f***ed. I'd be terrible at it. Yeah, that was Kesey telling us about a dude that just sat at the boat ramp with his tractor and just took everyone's boat down for him. What's the case for that? Is he getting paid five bucks?

50:41I think he worked at the Coast Guard or something and that particular boat ramp was on the beach and so you couldn't use a vehicle. You had to use a tractor. Oh, I gotcha. So I don't know whether people were paying for that.

50:51Jase:Or it was just there, and that was his job all day, every day. But he was parking it under the life-saving club. Right. So it was like an official council vehicle, this big tractor.

50:59Keyzie:How good. How good. Solved a lot of problems, I think. It is smart, guys.

51:05Jase:Hey, Mogi, what are you getting up to tonight? Look, it's only Tuesday. As we get closer and closer to the end of the year, I feel like just putting my feet up and having a few beers. But I know I can't. So I'll be doing nothing. Actually, I want to watch a movie tonight. What's it called? Train Dreams. Train Dreams. It's bloody good. I'm going to try and watch that tonight. I've been going through some issues with my daughter getting up. She's in bed about 6.30, and lately she's been getting up every 10 or 15 minutes until about 9 o 'clock at night. Yes. It's too often. So last night I've banned her from her speaker.

51:34Jase:She's got a little speaker that's banned now for a week. So I said, but if you, for every night that you don't get up, you get an extra day taken off that seven-day ban. So I'm hoping I'll be able to get home at seven, put her to bed, And then we'll be able to watch a movie without it getting up and ruining it every few minutes. You know what I mean? Yes. I'll let you know how I go tomorrow, fellas. I know you'll be interested. Good stuff, mate. Keezy, what are you having for tea? I think I'm making a pasta. I've just checked the GPS located. My wife is at home currently, so she's beating me home.

52:04Keyzie:Before she pops out. No, she's staying home tonight. She's got work to do in the office, though, she said. So I'm going to make dinner. And then we're going to probably watch the second half of the 20-minute comedy we only got halfway through last night. Yeah, good stuff, man. What about you, man? I'm just going to chill out tonight. Nice, man. Chat to my wife, look for apartments, you know, stuff like that. Eat food, make love.