FULL SHOW: Slip, Squirt, Slap & Wrap

14:38Keyzie:That way that we get a bit of coconut oil out when we're all together, I'm not against that. Well, I mean, it's a spa. It's a resort and spa, so I assumed they would sort of provide that. Yeah. I mean, if I wanted that, I'd just have it here. I just don't like total strangers touching me. Right. I mean, I know you guys are into that. They wear a name badge. Yeah. Oh, right, so I'll know. Okay. And as long as you say hello to them in the local dialect. Bulla! Racism alert. Racism alert. Hey, let's get some people in the draw, shall we? G'day, Richard, you mad bastard. How's life? Buller. Buller.

15:17He just said it off. No, he's fine. Keezy?

15:19Keyzie:Huh? He's, oh, okay, fine. The pronunciation was amazing. It's not like I'm clicking a button that fires off the racism alert. It just goes off automatically. Hey, Richard, you mad bastard, what do you do for a crust? Builder. Oh, yeah. You're a backbun. You're a massive backbun. And you like a bit of golf action, Richard? Yeah, in the summer when it's not too crap down here in Dunedin. Oh, that makes sense. That makes perfect sense, man. And who would you take with you, Richard? Seamus.

15:50Jase:He's my old workmate. Got me in the golf. Oh, Seamus.

15:54Keyzie:I like the name Seamus. What handicap are you running, Richard? Not sure I'll have to be on. Yeah. That's all right. That's all right. About 24. You'll be in Moggy and Pugs' group. That's perfect. Yeah, excellent. Will you stay on the line and I'll Pugs' son. We'll look after you. Let's go to Geordie and Christchurch. G'day, you mad bastard. How's life? Yeah, g'day, mate. Yeah, it's all good. Beautiful, mate. You got me there? Yeah, mate. Loud and clear there, Geordie. Man, what do you do for a crust? I am a teacher. Oh, yeah, back bone. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Like a bit of golf, Geordie? Yeah, love my golf, thanks.

16:26Keyzie:What are you running for a handicap? Oh, look, it's pretty rough. Probably 27-odd or something. Oh, yeah, that's perfect. Yeah, Chase loves the sound of that. That's perfect. Yeah. Oh, perfect. And who would you take with you, Geordie? Yeah, I think I'd probably take your plan to just get a couple of mates to battle it out. I've got a few golfing buddies. Oh, yeah, nice. Yeah, you can have like a game of golf and whoever wins. Now we're talking. Gets to go. Yeah. Yeah, maybe they play the playoff hole. Oh, that's a great idea. It's really good. You can get the winner, you like weed them out. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

16:59That's a good idea, man. Yeah. All right, well, Geordie, good news is, mate, you're in the draw, right? I love your work, mate. Thank you.

17:04Keyzie:Thanks, mate. Love you. Are you guys really going to get a massage? Because I just find that weird.

17:09Jase:I find massages, I don't find them relaxing, to be honest with you. Yeah, I do. The missus, you know, loves it. And then you can get the old facial, et cetera, all of that sort of stuff. For me, I find lying beside the pool having a few beers relaxing. Yeah. Yeah. Well, because, Jase, you could go get like a facial or something after you've squirted on some sunscreen. You know what I mean? Because it would relax you. Yeah.

17:37Keyzie:What, a facial? You love getting facials. Have you ever had one? Love it. Mate, you don't get skin like this without a few facials in your time, I tell you that much.

17:51Oh,

17:55is this radio here? Yeah. The Hauraki Big Show. Weekdays from four on Radio Hauraki.

18:01Keyzie:David Bowie there on the Radio Hauraki Big Show this Tuesday afternoon. The time is 4.53. Let's talk telly. What's on the telly with Mike Minogue?

18:18Yes.

18:23Jase:Last night I watched a show on TVNZ Plus called Atomic starring Elfie Allen. Which is Theon Greyjoy. That's right. Oh, that's right. Downstairs, good in that one. Also Lily Allen's brother. Fascinating stuff there. And this one is about two civilians who must stop a cartel's uranium plot or save themselves. That's the tagline, logline, fellas. Doesn't accurately capture it. One of them is a drug smuggler, and the other one is a jihadist fighter. Somewhere around Syria, I think. It's in a desert, can't quite remember. but it's very much along the veins of Rogue Heroes, if you saw that one that came out.

19:09Jase:Oh, okay. Yes, I quite enjoyed that.

19:10Keyzie:Yeah, totally.

19:11Jase:So we watched one episode. It's very, very similar to that. I will continue watching it. Good performances. It's not too hard on the brain. A little bit of action. A little bit of a couple of lulls here and there. A little bit of Crack Pepper. Exactly right. So that is, it's only five episodes. Very easy to digest, fellas. And that's Atomic TVNZ+. So far, I'm going to give it three buzies. It's out of a possible five, Keezy. Yeah. It's hard to know. That'll go up and down based on how it ends. Yeah, right. Okay? Yeah.

19:43Keyzie:Fellas, last night I watched a movie called Stay. 2005 it was made. It's quite an oldie. Wow. 20 years, Jase. With a sizzling Ryan Gosling, Naomi Watts, and Ewan McGregor. Oh. Now, the story is this. Sam, a psychiatrist, played by Ewan McGregor, embarks on a nightmarish journey when Henry, a student, informs him of his plans to do himself in. Oh, God. However, he must maintain his grip on reality while trying to save his patient.

20:22Jase:Yeah.

20:22Keyzie:Can I just say you've heard the phrase style over substance. Yes. It's one of those scenarios for me. Lots of, I mean, Ryan Gosling is looking hot as. Yeah. Ewan's looking fine as well, actually. And Ryan plays a sort of troubled young fellow with dark sort of hoods under his eyes, always smoking. He looks very hot. It got too convoluted. It got a little bit silly. And I sort of lost interest in it, to be honest. How many buzzies out of five, man? Two.

20:51Jase:Well, it's funny that you say that because the tomato meter on Rotten Tomato is 26 % from the critics and 69 % from the audience. but the vast majority seems to be a lot going on, too confusing, who cares.

21:05Keyzie:Yeah, it was very confusing. Certainly there were times of going, what's happening? What are they doing now? I don't understand. What did you watch that on? Disney. Oh, you're nice. I watched a show last night on Netflix. Sorry, no, it was earlier today on Netflix while I was eating my lunch. It was actually a recommendation from someone. Yeah, no, it was my dinner last night. Very confusing if you just say congee randomly. recommended from someone on the staggy show called Tyres on Netflix with Shane Gillis the comedian and I've seen a few clips on Instagram and I was like sometimes you just want a nice mindless 20 minute comedy watched one episode of it ridiculous but funny just straight up not seeing the world on fire but I didn't hate it either right in the middle three buzies out of five I watched one episode of that

21:54Jase:and I didn't think it was enough to bring me back Yeah. So, you know, you should give it more time. I'll give it more time. But also, I like having just a, like, if I'm eating lunch at home or something, just a 20-minute comedy. Check it on, yeah. Yeah, so it's all good. Three bullsies out of five on Netflix. Nice, man.

22:09Keyzie:Tyres. Siri, Tyres on Netflix. Jase, you don't have an Apple phone. Now, listen. Plenty coming up after 5 o 'clock, including the fellas helping me out with my much-dreamed-of trip to Europe. That's right. Plus, the Brekkie Boys responded to us dissing their uniforms that they just got, too. Oh, that's right. I forgot about that. Yeah, so I'll have to address that, too. The Hauraki Big Show with Jace, Mike, and Keezy. Tune in weekdays at 4 on Radio Hauraki. Welcome back, you massive backbones. Hope your Tuesday's going along very nicely indeed. You're listening to The Big Show. And when I say The Big Show, I mean Hoodie J, Mogey, and Keezy.

22:48Keyzie:Brought to you by Reburger. Hand-crafted burgers, loaded fries, and gourmet eats that will all change the game. Scrum-diddly-uptious. What is the game? The game of dinner. Oh, yes.

23:03Jase:Or lunch. Sort of change it.

23:04Keyzie:Yeah, it's going to change it. You know, you sort of, for many, many years, been having your soggy chips and your sort of... Your sloppy burgers. Your sloppy, flaccid burgers. You know burgers that look way better on the photo? Yeah, yeah. And you get it, you're like, what the hell's this? And it's just like, oh, what the hell? Then you go to Reburger and it's like a complete reinvention of the genre.

23:28Jase:The photos are like, it's like Tinder, isn't it, for food, Keith? Yeah, yeah, yeah. You're like, God damn, that looks good. Yeah. And then it turns up and you're like, what? What? Yeah, yeah. Not for Reburger, though. No, no, no, this is for other people. Yeah, for other people, yeah. Also, not that I've ever been on Tinder, because I've been in a relationship for 14 years. You know how it works, though, brother. No, I was just going along with you. I don't, I've never even been on Tinder, to be honest, man.

23:53Keyzie:Speaking of which, how did last night go after? What do you mean? After the show. What? I didn't go on a Tinder date, if that's what you're asking. Well, I know that what happened down in Christchurch, did you talk it through with your wife? Well, no, she understands that I was on a staggy. Staggy. She's incredible. Yeah. Yeah, you're on a staggy. So forgiving. No, she's not, there's nothing to forgive. I didn't cheat on my wife.

24:19Keyzie:Now, fellas, you were a huge help to me in terms of my trip to Europe and booking me an itinerary and stuff. I'm fizzing about this. Not too far away now, and I was wondering if you could help me out, re-injections and stuff. Oh, you have your back, bro? Yeah. Certainly, man. Here's the killers. The Hauraki Big Show, weekdays from 4 on Radio Hauraki. Voo Fighters there on the radio. Hauraki Big Show this Tuesday afternoon. Noon, the time is 5.14. Now, you fellas went on a huge trip away this year to Europe. Yeah. And you said to me, I simply must get there. Well, you simply must go. You just don't understand until you've been.

24:58Keyzie:Yeah, totally. And you've inspired me from your tales of great adventures over there. And you have very kindly written me out an itinerary, which is all now official. Yeah. So pretty stoked about that. I wonder if I could tap into your knowledge again, if I may, be so bold. Are there any shots or anything that I need? I mean, I don't imagine there'd be too many, given that I'm going to Europe and she's very civilised. Yeah, well, the good thing is, right, Europe and the UK area actually came and sort of industrialised New Zealand, colonised New Zealand. So anything we've got here, they had their ages ago.

25:38Right, OK. So you don't actually have to worry as much as if you were going to a developing country. No, that's true. So that's good. So it's actually not a massive list, are you? No, it's not as bad, that's for sure.

25:45Jase:I mean, there's the normal sort of stuff that you need. Do you suffer from motion sickness? Do you get air sick?

25:51Keyzie:Yeah.

25:52Jase:Yeah. So make sure you've got, and these are all the stuff that you need. There's tablets that you'll take with you. Yeah. So obviously for altitude sickness, it'll be one. You'll get your malaria shots. Yeah. But you'll also need malaria top-ups as well. Well, because of global warming, climate change, there's now so hot over in London that you can get malaria there as well. It's like being in the heart of Africa. Wow. So there's a standard one. Some of these you will have already had, but you can't travel without them. Okay. All right. So measles. Yeah. Your mumps, your rubella. All that. You know, you've had all that, eh?

26:30Jase:MMR. So you should have had those. Yeah. You wouldn't have those. That's even if you're not going anywhere, you need to have those. Oh, okay. Diphtheria. Tetanus, because you might stand on a nail. That's true. Yeah, true. Actually, chips and diphtheria.

26:42Keyzie:Because there'd be lots of old ruins and stuff over there.

26:45Jase:That's right. And I don't know if you know this, but the Coliseum and stuff, it was nailed together. Pertussis. Pardon? That's a shocking bastard. Oh, my God. Pertussis. I don't even. Polio. The last thing you need is polio. Your influenza. COVID-19 chicken pox shingles. And pneumococcal, which is for pneumonia. Actually, another one too. Menoniacoccal. Actually, over in Europe, the J is actually pronounced everything, so it's actually menoniacoccal.

27:16Keyzie:Yeah. Have you had that? It's three. Menoniacoccal. No, don't. Well, that's what you just said, wasn't it? No, I said menoniacoccal. Oh, okay. Menoniacoccal. Fine, we'll say it the New Zealand way. Menoniacoccal. Can you spell that for me, Keezy? Menoniacoccal? Just, Jase, take the seriously. We'll write that down.

27:33Jase:Just write the list down. Then there's the water stuff. Food and water related sort of stuff. Oh, yeah, yeah. Your hepatitis A, your typhoid, your cholera. Good God. Oh, Hep B too and B minor. Hep B, yes. And HPV shots for, that's for, you know, your genital warts. Yeah. Yeah, but they're kind of under control at the moment. Get one anyway. Truffalitis. Right. Yellow fever. Okay. Japanese encephalitis. Japanese encephalitis. Well, that's where the origins are, but you're sort of like, Yeah. It's like saying German measles, but we still get them down here. I don't even know why they mention the race.

28:09Jase:It's not relevant. Yeah, it's actually racist. Dengue. Dengue fever. Oh, the dengue fever. Yeah. It's so hot once again. Rabies? Yeah, oh my God. Anthrax, which is rare, but if anyone's going to get it, it's going to be you. It's going to be you.

28:22Keyzie:Sure. Can I just say, with the rabies, if I've already had it. Rabies? Yeah. Does that mean I'd be immune? I'd get a booster, though. A rabies booster? Yeah, Lyme disease? Right. The Black Plague. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Also, they've got an injection for that, have they? The blue plague too. Oh, the blue plague.

28:40Jase:Not as lethal. No. Tuberculosis, tick-borne encephalitis. Oh, yeah. That's Europe and Russia. If you're going to pop over to Russia, that can be an issue. Ebola. Oh, my gosh. Yeah. Swine flu.

28:59Keyzie:Bird flu. If I've already had swine flu, is that all? Man flu. Donkey flu. Donkey flu? Because they would have had donkeys over there. Well, yeah. Who do you think built all the, like, coliseums and stuff? What, the donkeys did? No, they used... No, come on, man. This is why you have to go to Europe. You think of donkeys building a coliseum? They helped pull stuff. And that's when people stood on nails and that, right? Yes. Jeez, man. So what, should we just write all this out and then you just take it to the doctor? Because that's quite a few. How many is that? You guys have all these jobs? 27.

29:33Keyzie:27.

29:34Jase:Yeah. You've got to get them all at once.

29:36Keyzie:Yeah. Well, I've got a mate who's a doctor, so he should be able to sort me out with all those bastards. What is he wearing? Warrior shirt. Jersey. No, he's got a warrior shirt. It's a shirt. Okay, it's a shirt. Thanks, fellas. What was the one you said earlier, Keezy? Men on your cockle. Men on your cockle. Yeah, yeah, yeah. It's if you're getting it in Spain, though. It's just, yeah. The Hauraki Big Show with Jace, Mike and Keezy. Tune in weekdays at four on Radio Hauraki. Joy division there on the Radio Hauraki Big Show this Tuesday evening. The time is 5.29 now. We were making some comments about the breakfast fellas yesterday, if you recall, lads.

30:20Oh, that's right, about their new uniforms. Their new uniform, yeah. Keezy came in, he was fuming. He was fired. Well, no, I was just asking questions around how do we feel because they've rearranged the studio, they've changed it to suit them. now they've got cool uniforms that only they get. I was just wondering, trying to get your guys' vibe on it, because I'm chill with it.

30:36Keyzie:Actually, I was thinking about that just this morning, actually, the audacity of them changing the studio without consultation. I mean, it's disgraceful, really, isn't it? It's true. It's a shared space. You don't just go and change everything without consulting. I'm disgusted. And yet they haven't changed everything.

30:53Jase:They've still got the Hoskins puppet, which should have been the first thing to go on a skip. Yes. Closely followed by Ruda's guitar. Ah.

31:00Keyzie:I agree. Well, no, I mean. The things that they should have got rid of. Yes. They didn't. Live on. Yeah, yeah, yeah. They've got pot plants, all sorts of stuff in here, and I don't feel at home in here anymore, so I'm not going to be able to do my best work. Same. Because you're used to, like, just crap everywhere in your house, and I'm kind of the same, eh, Keezy? Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Like, Mogi doesn't mind it so much because he's very anal, and everything's meticulous. whereas you and I are a bit more rough and tumble, just crap everywhere, just lying around the place. Well, that's the thing, Jase.

31:35You and I are peas in a pod, man. Yeah, that's right.

31:37Keyzie:Well, no, you and Pugs aren't peas in a pod. Well, no, we're a package deal. Oh, you're a package deal, that's right. Yeah, we're busy-busy. Whereas you and I are cut from the same cloth. But anyway, Brekkie heard us.

31:47Jase:You guys are like, you know, it's Hoity Jizz and Old Keezy. You know, you guys are like the Jizz twins. That is not our name, Mogey, all right? But it could be. No, don't stop it.

31:59Keyzie:That's been sort of put away for another couple of people, which we won't go into now. It's a bit of off-air chat that Mogi's brought on here. But apparently Brekkie were listening, and they've actually responded to us. Okay. So here's a short message from Breakfast. Can I just say something firstly? They presume that we want them in our uniforms.

32:18Jase:That was never discussed. That was certainly never an idea. We didn't want the big show in our uniforms. These are our uniforms. No, but I feel like if we got them on, they'd be so stuck. Oh, totally. There's so much jealousy. They would be so chuffed. Hey, look, happy to fill another break for them. I know it's tough. They only talk half as often as we do, and even then they struggle to fill it up. But look, if us getting a uniform gets them another three minutes, then happy to help. Yeah. It's exactly the kind of attitude I'd expect. Yeah, totally. The arrogance of it. You know what I mean? You were right, Keezy.

32:47Jase:They are scumbags. They are.

32:49Keyzie:Total scumbags. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And for them to assume that we're doing this just to fill content. You know what? It makes me want to curl one out in the studio. I'm serious man I'm that ropeable about those comments Yeah you should do it man That'd show them Well just when we leave today Nah yeah do poos in the studio Jase That'll show them I'm right behind you for that one Well don't be Because you know That would be gross

33:13Jase:I don't want you You should do it though Yeah I hope those aren't empty words Yeah Jase I'm doing it man I'm doing it Yeah do it man Do poos in the studio 3483 Should Jase do poos in the studio To teach breakfast a lesson I'll give you a re-berg of our champion text. The Hauraki Big Show with Jace, Mike and Kesey. Tune in weekdays at four on Radio Hauraki.

33:38Keyzie:Pearl Jam there on the Radio Hauraki Big Show this Tuesday evening. The time, 5.52. Hey, don't forget that we're currently running a competition called Big Deck Energy. Thanks to our mates at tradetested.co.nz. They're keen to make your deck great ahead of summer. Basically, every Friday this month, We're going to be giving away$2 ,500 worth of stuff. What's up, Doc?

34:04Jase:That's all, folks. Can you clip that off and make it? That's all, folks. Thanks, Pugsman. It's not. It's literally in the last break we talked about how we don't want to stop every time someone makes a mistake. Anyway, tradetester.co.nz. That's going to be a great defeat for the show. Can I just finish this? Yeah, they do. Yeah, cool. $2 ,500. Just go to hodaki.co.nz, enter there, tell us about your deck, tell us about your shopping list from tradetest.co.nz, and we can call you on Friday. That's every week we're doing that this month, fellas. It's crazy. It's bloody good. It's insane. It's unbelievable.

34:42Jase:Hey, guys, I've got some really interesting chat for you here, and I know you're going to be blown away because it's golf chat. Oh, how good. I'm so excited about us going away to Fiji for the Swingers Club. A little bit disappointed that the swinging refers to golf, but we're going to be playing a couple of rounds. Did you want to cheat on your wife? Huh? No, she's... Swinging's all cheat. Yeah, yeah, yeah. You kidding me? Cool, cool. And we're going to be playing a couple of rounds of golf. It's going to be... Oh, Pugson's going to be involved as well. The two of you, myself, and a couple of winners, and obviously I don't want to let the team down.

35:18Jase:Do you think there would be value between now and whenever it is that we go away and me getting any kind of lessons? Because have you guys had lessons? No, mate.

35:30Keyzie:No, no. Yeah, I have. Oh, have you not? Well, you know. I mean, I had lessons. Yeah, I did. I had two lessons, yeah. Did you? Yeah, like two years ago. Right. Right, yeah. Just to get the fundamentals down so that I'm not just effing and jeffing my way around the course. Yeah, yeah. Look, to be honest with you, I wouldn't bother, Mogey. You're too far gone, mate. Right. You're an old Ram cast, Mogey. You're out in the back paddock. I'm in the back paddock. Yeah, yeah, yeah. You've got the eye issue too. You don't even know where you're hitting the bloody thing. No, I don't. You know what I mean?

35:58Keyzie:You smack it and go, where the hell did that go? What's the point?

36:01Jase:Exactly. We don't need two of them out there with Jason Hughes. Well, that's the thing because you guys are going, you're out every week pretty much. Jason, you're out a few times a week. And every time I ask you how it went, you always say terribly. Yeah, that's right. And so I wonder if you'd been getting lessons or you just go terribly, you get no lessons, you just continue to be terrible, and you're hoping at some point that will be. The dam will break. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Well, it's like, Mogi, whenever Jase is sick or sore, does he do anything about it? No, I don't. No. So why would he get lessons about being sick at golf or sore at golf?

36:31You know what I mean? Terminal.

36:32Keyzie:And sometimes, let me just say this, I am sick at golf. Always when I'm not there, though. No, to be honest, Mogi, I think any lessons you get. Yes. I don't think.

36:42Jase:Don't just confuse me. It's going to make you even more confused. Like, seriously, you'll spend two months trying to just, like, do the thing. Like, how do I hold a stick? Yeah, exactly. I mean, you do know how to hold. That sort of stuff.

36:54Keyzie:Yeah. Yeah. Look, I just play on instinct. And, you know, I've got natural hand-eye coordination. I just go with the flow in that sense. Oh. Yeah. So, you know. Hopefully that's helpful. Yeah. Just go with your instinct. Don't overthink it, man. Sure. Yeah, but don't under... Prepare. Prepare. Right. Certainly don't go and change your game every time you play. So once every 20 years, just keep it the same? Yeah, just keep it as you did 20 years ago. Yeah, man. I think you'd be sweet. Yeah, and then you guys, you and Pugs will just, you guys will play your own. So it's going to be the four of us?

37:31No, it'll be...

37:31Keyzie:No, you and Pugs, with the winners there and old Keezy and I, because we don't want to be... We'll just go off on our own. Yeah, we'll just do our own thing. That sounds so fun.

37:42Jase:Okay. Well, thanks for the advice, fellas, because I was a little bit worried that I'd be letting the team down, but it sounds like everybody will be. Yeah, we're all going to be shit.

37:50Keyzie:I mean, I'll probably – I think I might be on the upward swing there, but –

37:54Jase:Oh, yeah, if you play around by yourself, you'll have a cracker. Why don't we do that? Why don't you play on your own, Jase, because you're naturally gifted and you have an instinct for it, and then we'll sort of hang out and play a bit of a more fun –

38:06Keyzie:Yeah, you guys can go and have a scuba dive and a massage while Horty just nails the course. Yeah, yeah. The Hauraki Big Show with Jace, Mike and Keezy. Tune in weekdays at four on Radio Hauraki. Welcome back, you massive backbones. Hope your Tuesday nights are nice and relaxed. You're listening to The Big Show brought to you by Reburger. Beef, chicken, vegan and vegetarian options too. Reburger are redefining the norm. Yum, yum, yum, yum, yum, yum, yum, yum, yum. Good stuff. Hey, Mogie. Yum. Sorry. No, it's okay. It kind of worked. Did it? Yeah, it did. Like, hey, mogi. Yum. Not as good the second time, wasn't it, Jay?

38:49No, it was a bit of a pause.

38:51Keyzie:I noticed that when you came into it today, you had a meal with you. I did. Have you eaten it? I haven't, no. What's going on, man?

38:57Jase:Well, I ate before I came in, about an hour or so before I came in. Yes. But I had chicken and a soupy sort of a number, and this is part two of that. But I've just found, actually, I'm still sated by the previous meal, so I haven't touched it. My God, that's not like you. It's not like me. And I was literally just thinking about that the last time I walked in. I was like, oh, yeah. Oh, that food. I haven't even eaten it. How about that? Do you hear about that, Keezy? Yeah, I heard about that, fellas. Can you tell me about it again, just quickly?

39:26Jase:I was just saying that I ate about an hour before I came in. Oh, wow. And then I brought some food in. Yeah. Sort of like the second half. I split the previous meal into two. Oh, the leftovers. I brought the second half in, leftovers, yeah. But I found that the first amount that I ate has actually filled me up enough that I've lasted all through these last few hours without getting any sushi, no chips. That's crazy. Nothing at all. And I'll probably just, you know, the funny thing is, I guess, I've just brought it to work for no reason.

39:59Keyzie:Yeah, yeah, you were sufficiently sated. I was. And you knew when to say when kind of thing. Yeah, yeah. Jase, has that ever happened to you, man? What's that, Kesey? Just sort of wacky stuff like that with food.

40:19Keyzie:Well, like, often I'll eat something and there'll be stuff left over and I'll go, oh. No, we actually don't have time. Sorry, I've started playing Iggy Pop. And I'll be like, oh, and then... No, Jase, we're out of time. Actually, I'm... Jase. Amplicated here. I don't need to... The Hauraki Big Show. Weekdays from four on Radio Hauraki. The Granbury's there on the Radio Hauraki Big Show. It's a Tuesday evening. Let's have some league chat. Time to chat footy with me, Keezy. What are the Warriors up to? Yeah, man. The Wars are taking on the Penrith Panthers. You heard of them? Yeah, man. Heard of them?

41:04Eh? Six v eight. What?

41:08Keyzie:Six place team versus the eighth place team. Seventh. Eight. I thought you were saying a sixth.

41:12Jase:No, because then it'll be fifth versus. It's fifth versus eight and sixth versus seventh. Panthers are seventh, yeah. I thought you were saying a sick v eight. And I was like, yeah, man, totally. Very good. We're playing Mount Smart Stadium, 6.05 p.m. this very Saturday, and I'm nervous. Yeah, it is a little bit on the nerve-wracking side, isn't it? I mean, if you want to go up against anyone, even though they might be regarded as slightly out of form, definitely out of form, they are the four-time champions, not in history, consecutively over the last four years. Yeah. It's BS. They are so experienced at playing finals footy.

41:46It just so happens they switched it on in the lead-up to the... Yes, they lost a couple of games recently just. Tight against top eight teams. Tight against top teams.

41:54Jase:Yeah, top four teams. I am freaking out, but the team list has just been announced. And that's the beauty of it, mate. From here on out, she's knockout footy. Anything is possible. Here is your Warriors side for this weekend. Number one, Charles Nugger-Klokstad. We've got DWZ retains his position on the wing. Adam Pompey and Kurt Capewell are your centres as a result of Rocco Berry getting injured. The poor bastard, mate. Roger Tuavasa-Shek is on the other wing. CHT and Tanner Boyd are your halves. James Fisher-Harris, Wade Egan, Jackson Ford, leka the wrecker, starting in the second row with Marasa Niakore and Aaron Clarke, obviously at lock.

42:40Jase:Tamari Martin, Eddie Yirimiya Toiava, Dmitryk Vaumonga and Tanner Sowers-Smith make up your 17. Gosh, that's still just such an inexperienced bench. However, I mean, the starting thing, we've got Jackson Ford back in the forward pack in the front row there. He's been massive. We need his big motor. He can make the odd mistake, but he can play 70, Jase. He'll tackle his ass off and run his ass off.

43:04Keyzie:I'll tell you who I've been really impressed with is that Clark. Aaron Clark, yeah. Aaron Clark, he's been awesome.

43:11Jase:He is, he is. He's probably going to be the old, dear. Player of the season, the Warriors. Certainly for the Warriors, he'll be the player. So he'll be the player of the season for the Warriors. He's got to be, and I think he's got to be in line for Dele M. Lock of the season. Lock of the year. No, he's not a rookie. He's played it for a few years, yeah. But he has found another level. Absolutely unbelievable. So, yeah, I mean, I'd love for them to find a space for Sam Healy because I just think he's too good. He's too good. I don't know. Obviously, the rotation becomes an issue, the interchange, Tomite Martin being able to cover multiple positions.

43:43But it's like getting a bastard out there.

43:46Jase:He makes metres. He's unreal. He is. Here's a cool one. Penrith's left side, Casey McLean, and I can't remember what his name. on the milky bar kid out on the wing there. They score so many tries down that left side. That's the side Dallin's marking. So if they're going to score tries, it's going to be through their left winger, and he's going to score a few.

44:08Keyzie:I just hope the fellas don't get overwhelmed at home and let the occasion get to them too much because they're already going to be under the pump. No, no. They have to step up now, Jason. It's game over. It's bloody exciting stuff.

44:22Jase:Good on them. Congrats for getting to the finals. Let's go, boys. Yeah. Let's go, boys. The Hauraki Big Show with Jace, Mike and Keezy. Tune in weekdays at four on Radio Hauraki.

44:31Keyzie:Yes, indeed, Jed there on the Radio Hauraki Big Show this Tuesday evening. Now, very exciting news, fellas. We're heading down to Dunedin in a little while for the Dunedin Beer Festival. That's right. And we've been there a couple of times. Great time had by all. Looking forward to it. That's right. Traditionally, the breakfast show, they were all over this beer festival. Certainly in the days of Matt Heath, you know, born in the South, cheese roll in his mouth, all that kind of stuff. He had dibs on the Dunedin Craft Beer and Food Festival. He's gone. He's gone. Has he? We got rid of his ass.

45:04Yeah. Wow. Well, no, he's been promoted. But because of this, we now get to attend. Tickets are available right now. DunedinBearFest.co.nz. It's at Forsyth Bar Stadium down there on the 7th and 8th of November. We are going to go down, and we actually have a prize available for you and a mate, you, the listeners, and a mate to win free flights, accommodation, and tickets to join us at the festival itself.

45:27Jase:Pretty exciting stuff, I've got to say. I've never been. No, I've never been. I've never been to this one either. I've been to a fair few in my time, and I bloody love all of them. But this one certainly, it sounds like a bloody good time. I was always jealous.

45:39Keyzie:I've been a couple of times back in the day. It's a great set-up, fellas. And the great thing about it too is lots of good food around as well, which always makes Hoity J happy. Any beers?

45:49Jase:I've also never been to Forsyth Bar for any reason other than that. Have you been to any sporting events here, Keezy? I've been to one Otago MPC game in 2012.

46:00Keyzie:Right. It's fantastic. It's quite impressive. I love it. Are we doing a live show down there as well? We will be doing a live show down there. God help us. That'll probably be on the Thursday night. I don't know. We're still working on the finer details of that part. However, in order to enter this competition for you and a mate to come down, flights accommodation, all that stuff. You have to name a beer because we've teamed up with Emerson's. We're brewing something special for the Dunedin Craft Beer and Food Festival, and it needs a name. It's a Hazy Pale Ale. It'll be called the Big Show Something.

46:30Hazy Pale Ale. And if you'd like to name the beer and get yourself in the competition, head to hodaki.co.nz. Get yourself in the drawer there. A lot of great suggestions so far, fellas.

46:42Jase:There's been some goodies. Keezy, your one was, what was your one? Midnight Steamer. The Midnight Steamer. Like it. That's good. I do like it. I feel like there's steam involved in the beer making process, so people that don't know will think, oh, it's just some sort of beer thing.

46:56Keyzie:I was reading through the comments last night on the post, actually, and I'm sad to say, Keezy, Tony is featuring quite heavily. Oh, is it really? Did it go up on the Insta? Yeah, just the start of it. Ooh, that's exciting. Well, the problem is, right, I feel like this whole Tony thing is very much of the here and now. Yeah, well, that's right.

47:14Jase:By the time we get to, you know, this thing's in November, Remember, it's going to be the biggest thing in New Zealand. I think Tony on all fours has got a real ring to it because it's just something, even if you don't know what that is, it conjures an image. Yeah. It conjures an image. Now, what it might say to you is you're drunk so much that you're down on all fours, you're crawling home. Yes. And that's fine if that's the interpretation of the listener. What it really is. And also, Keyes, the other thing to be pointed out here is Tony is no longer just you. Tony is every man. Oh, that's a good point, Tony.

47:41Jase:Tony the backbone. Yes. You see what I'm saying? Yeah, yeah, yeah. So I think, yeah, I can't wait to see what the suggestions are. It's not just going to get over the line because it's Tony. It's got to be bloody good. That's a good name.

47:50Keyzie:You know, I look at whenever we give it to the audience to decide, they never let us down is my experience. Look at my cat. Oh, Jizz. Jizz. Why do you call it Jizz? And everyone was like, oh, no, I don't think. But now everyone loves it. They love it. Yeah, yeah, yeah. So the audience can name things well. So yeah, hodaki.co.nz, get yourself in the competition for that. Otherwise, tickets available at DunedinBearFest.co.nz. Good stuff, mate. The Hauraki Big Show with Jace, Mike and Kesey. Tune in weekdays at 4 on Radio Hauraki. Rolling Stones here on the Radio Hauraki Big Show this Tuesday evening.

48:28Keyzie:Now, we're men of experience, and we like to use that experience to benefit the population in general by giving out advice, don't we, fellas? Yeah, Jace. That's why we set up an email address, meetpattynips69 at gmail.com. That was chosen by the audience, not us. But it's 100 % anonymous and you can email at any time. And if we read out your question, you get a$50 Reburger voucher. So let's get to it.

49:04This is a revisit, guys. This is an update on some older advice we gave.

49:08Keyzie:Well, it's good, actually, to get feedback on how our advice went down. Yeah, so this is a follow-up. This original email came through April 9th, a long time ago. Wow. Seems like forever. Mogi, you gave the advice. That sounds about right. It was genuine advice about how to ask a woman out. Oh, was it? Was that going up to them, be honest. 100%. Say, blah, blah, blah, blah, you know, I think you're really hot, you know.

49:31Jase:No, I don't know if I'd be using the word hot. No, you did, remember? You were like, you know, you got them, you know. You got that ass. You got that ass, all that sort of stuff. Be a real charming bastard. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Be very direct, honest, blah, blah, blah, blah. So this is coming from Anonymous. Just a little update. G'day, fellas. Anonymous here again. Back in April, I asked for advice regarding a girl at the gym. I wasn't sure if she had a boyfriend as our chats got rather flirty, etc. Ah, yes. Now, first, I just want to say, Mogan, you gave some genuinely good advice that I think everyone should listen to.

50:01Stop driving yourself crazy and just ask them. So kia kahara you, Mike.

50:05Jase:Oh, kia kahara. Thank you. Jase? What? To Moggy's point, I was driving myself crazy, so I finally built up the courage to ask her if she would be interested in doing something together outside of the gym. Something casual, not too pervy. Yeah, that's right. You don't want to sort of lead off with, do you want to go for a skinny dip?

50:24Keyzie:Yeah.

50:24Jase:Or even do you want to go for a swim down at such and such? You know, something a bit more land-based.

50:29Keyzie:Well, yeah, and particularly you don't want to start with, you want to do something. Nothing pervy. Yeah, nothing too pervy. Nothing too pervy, just really relaxed. Yeah. Unfortunately, it says here, massive sigh. I got the old, oh, that's really nice, but I just want to be friends.

50:44Jase:Oh, great. I've got so much room in my life for more friends, especially ladies like yourself. How good. Yeah, exactly. You can hook me up with your mates. Obviously not too pretty. You must have a lot of beautiful mates. Yeah. And I'd love to meet them. Let's set something up that's not too pretty. So if you can just sort of set up a group chat with me and all them and then leave. Yes. Yeah. That was during my first exercise in the morning, so you can imagine how the rest of that workout went. Fast forward to the same weekend, I ended up taking a girl from work home. Yeah. Home? Home, yeah. I guess he just used that knowledge and, you know.

51:22Jase:Netflix and chill, et cetera. So I suppose it's a silver lining, right? I might actually need some advice to deal with that situation in a few weeks' time. Anyway, see you guys in Wellington on Thursday. So that came in. Yeah, right. Well, that's bugger it. I wish I'd known about that. We could have talked to him. But that's right. and now he's stopped torturing himself. That's right. So that's over. He knows at least. But at the very least now, she might not have been thinking that at all and now she's thinking, oh, he likes me. Also, the other thing too. It's out there. It's out there. So, you know, it's sitting right there.

51:52Jase:Everybody can see it. The other thing too is he's now experienced what it's like to ask someone, be rejected, realise it's not the end of the world and now that's probably maybe how he managed to pick up another chick. I don't know. Yeah. So it's good stuff. Make an emotional connection with another human being, Kesey, I think is the way he phrased it. Not pick up another chick. Yeah, he said, I took a girl home from work. Yeah. That's more respectful. Yeah, is it? Oh, well, that's great. I'm glad to hear that. Yes. Yeah.

52:19Keyzie:Well, that's right. It's better to know, isn't it? I mean, rather than drive yourself batshit crazy going, should I, shouldn't I, should I, shouldn't I? Yeah. And you're right. Now that that's in her head, she may very well go, actually, he's quite a nice little fella. Well, that's right.

52:33Jase:Now, the other thing there is he wasn't sure if she, had a boyfriend or girlfriend. Yes. But the other way he could have done that is say, look, man, I've really enjoyed talking to you. Great. But I just want you to know I'm not interested. So I would hate for you to think that this could go anywhere because I'm just not interested. OK, you're not my type. Yes. So if you've said something like that with a little bit of a smirk on your face, then that plants a seed as well. But you're actually not putting yourself at any risk of being rejected because you're not asking them out. Yeah, right. You're up front saying that they've got no show.

53:04Jase:and then if they think they've got no show they're like, well why haven't I got any show? Yeah, I'll show you. I'll show you, he's got a show, it's me. Yeah. I've got a show. Oh, mogi, eh? Give that a go anyway, I bet I wouldn't, but... The Hauraki Big Show with Jase, Mike and Keezy. Tune in weekdays at four on Radio Hauraki.

53:28Keyzie:Well there you go, you mad bastards. Ah. That's the big show done and dusted for you Tuesday. That flew by. It did, really, didn't it? It did. What are you having for tea tonight, Keezy? Or should we chat about that on the way to the car? Well, I can tell you now, and you can start picturing it. I'm having a curry. Oh, that's right. And you're having nachos.

53:45Jase:That's broad strokes. I had nachos last night, I think. I love a nachos. Oh, I love a nachos.

53:50Keyzie:Hey, the podcast, you're out, Joe. Nachos. Which is kind of warm up to the radio show. We chatted about clothes, all sorts of stuff. What's the clip today, Keezy? This one just says greeting And it comes out at 7.30 tonight Along with our highlights package Just so you know Everybody at home

54:09Jase:Kesey always says What the name of the clip is That we'll be playing From the podcast And then Jase and I Squint our eyes And cast our minds back And see if we can possibly Remember what that's about I don't know about you Or Woody J But I'm drawing a blank On this one I've got nothing Yeah Here we go He's like Oh where are your mates And I was like Oh Mogi will be here In about 10 minutes And Jase will be here Any second and he'll walk in and he'll sigh. Yeah. And then I'll go, what did you get up to today? And then he'll say, oh, this and that, Keezy, this and that. Almost went off, but didn't, almost.

54:41I asked him what he was up to. He walked inside, said, g'day, everyone. And then I was like, what did you get up to today? And he's like, none of your f***ing business, Keezy. Bit of fun, eh, fellas?

54:51Keyzie:What I actually said specifically was none of your beeswax. Oh, did you? That doesn't sound like you. You don't say cool stuff like none of your beeswax, man. Hey, listen, it's been a pleasure bringing you to the show today. Make sure you check out the Instagram account. Give us some ideas for the brew that we're going to be releasing later on with our mates at Emerson's. Check out the podcasts. Oh, yes.

55:14Jase:And can I say, make sure you come back tomorrow for another couple of opportunities to get into our Swingers Club. We're off to Fiji. We'd love to have you with us. Yeah, so you have to tune in, listen out, and get ready to call 0800-HAURAKE. Good stuff, fellas. That's all, folks. We'll see you later.

55:27Keyzie:Bye.

55:33Keyzie:That's all, folks.