FULL SHOW: Spreading Your Mulch

10:17Keyzie:Yeah, now you're talking. There's another 150K on the property.

10:21Mike Minogue:Stick it to them, Keezy. No, I don't know about that. We've put down a weed mat there, planted some camellias and some little hedgy bush things. That brings the price right. Yeah, that's more of a low-grade kind of... No, they're not. They call that the peasant's flower. Do they? Peasant's bloom.

10:39Keyzie:You see a lot of them out in West Auckland.

10:42Mike Minogue:We've planted some tractor seats.

10:45Keyzie:You what? What?

10:46Mike Minogue:It's a nice plant that has leaves that are shaped like tractor seats on an old tractor.

10:51Keyzie:Oh, yeah, they're very, very poisonous. Right, okay. Why would they sell them to me then? Well, because they're probably trying to get rid of them. Yeah, right. They're not big sellers.

11:02Mike Minogue:And then, yeah, there's a few other things that we've planted. But as part of this, we've then put down weed mat, and I have bought a whole lot of black mulch. Black mulch. Okay. And I've spread that across the entire garden. It looks beautiful. Nice contrast, you know, like a bright black with the rest of the house. With the edging and the sort of downgrade plants. Yeah, yeah, yeah. However, literally the next day I go outside and all the mulch is off the garden and on the grass because of frigging birds digging in there. Oh. Yes. Yeah. I just don't know what to do because every day I walk out and I rake it up and I get the broom and I sweep it because it's gotten onto my little footpath bit there.

11:42Have you got a shoddy?

11:44Mike Minogue:No, I don't have a shoddy. Okay.

11:47Keyzie:I can relate, Keezy, because back in the day when I had a backyard and I used to have a little veggie patch there. and you'd plant it all out with the little seedlings, et cetera, et cetera, mogi, the birds would just destroy them. Yes. Just destroy all the seedlings and come in and just kick up everything, you know what I mean? Or you'd have little seedlings in pots and so forth. Yeah. They're shocking bastards. Can I say that? Yeah, you can. Look, they need to stick to their knitting. They should be up in trees or in the sky and leave it at that. 100%. If I was you, Keezer, you can put in tripwires.

12:23Have you ever put in a tripwire before? Well, I have never done that before, but I just... I can come out and give you a hand. So what you do is you have the tripwire, and you have it attached to a few cans of mace.

12:32Mike Minogue:Mace? Mace. Is it like pepper spray? It's like a pepper spray, yeah. And birds hate pepper spray, particularly in the eyes or the anus area or the calacca. Anything that's sort of sensitive.

12:43Keyzie:Because I was going to say, Moggy... How's a calacca? The one thing that I found is that after I used to go out and, you know, do the old quiet fart on my tamati plants, never got bothered again. Right, okay. So, you know, I'd go and gas them, and it seemed to dispel the birds. But you know what I'm thinking? What's that? Pinky? Our old mate, Des Dalgetty, you know, he's a farmher. He works on the farm. He probably knows all about how to get rid of the old bloody birds. Wouldn't his thing just be shooting them, though? I don't know. I mean, he's a wily old bastard. I'm sure he's got a lot of tricks up his sleeve.

13:25Keyzie:Yeah.

13:25Mike Minogue:He usually calls us. I don't know. Do we have his number? Pugs has got it. Yeah, I think Pugs. Pugs, have you got his number? Yeah, okay. Yeah, good. We can try and get in touch with him. I mean, I don't know if he'll give us any good advice, but.

13:35Keyzie:He may actually give you a few tips on what sort of plants to buy too than the shocking bastards that you put in there.

13:40Mike Minogue:Oh. Yeah, okay. Well, let's try to do that, Pugs. Can you try and get a hold of Dez Dalgetty? And I guess, yeah, because I need to do something here. Someone's text through mulch glue. Oh. Is that a thing? Yeah. Never heard of it. No, neither. Give it a go. It's just made something up there. But yeah, all right, let's try a call Dearsdale Getty, and maybe we'll go from there. Yeah, nice, mate. The Hauraki Big Show with Jace, Mike, and Keezy. Tune in weekdays at four on Radio Hauraki.

14:06Keyzie:Tom Petty there on the Radio Hauraki Big Show this Thursday afternoon. The time is 4.47. Let's talk TV. What's on the telly with Mike Minogue?

14:21Yes, sir. Fellas, last night I watched another episode of Widow's Peak. Peak. Yeah, feels like it's Widow's Peak. Widow's Cliff. Widow's. It's on Apple TV. Yes. And it's a new show and it's a horror comedy. And it's about a small township. It's an island in the middle of nowhere. Widow's Bay. Thank you. Widow's Bay, yeah, that sounds right. And a whole bunch of weird things starts happening. I got through the second episode last night. I think they're 45-minute episodes. Highly, highly, highly recommend. Yes. Very funny, very weird, great cast. It gets better and better. It's one of those things that just see it.

15:01It's so well written that it makes it seem like making a great TV show would be easy. Yes. When you know damn well it's not, except for Talkback, which is a piece of piss. Yeah, yeah. You can tell that by watching it. Four buzzies out of a possible five buzzies. Yeah. You can watch that on your Apple TV, and it's called Widow's Bay.

15:17Keyzie:I don't think I've got Apple TV anymore, which is an absolute bugger. Yeah, which is a bugger. But I did stumble upon an old classic, fellas, on Samsung Movies. Yeah. Close Encounters of the Third Kind. I have never seen it. Are you serious? How old is it? 60s? No, 77. I think it was made. 1977. 1977. 1977. Ah. Not 1870. 77. I was thinking 77. Just a good old school cinematic experience. I'm going to have to watch that. It's just good. It's a great movie. It's a great movie. Now, the trouble with Samsung TV is I have to be there at the exact time it comes on, right? Yeah, you do. Damn it. There was another way to get this 50-year-old movie.

16:08Keyzie:Yeah, damn. I can't believe you've never seen it, Mogi. That stuns me. No, I've seen bits of it. Obviously, so this is a film that's directed by Steven Spielberg. It's got Richard Dreyfuss in it, I think, as the lead, and it's obviously Aliens Come to Earth. The one part that I remember about it that I can remember from watching it is it might have been Richard Dreyfuss's building a mountain out of mashed potatoes. Yes. That's the one part of it that I can remember. It's so random that you should say that because my wife, we were watching it, and my wife was like, that's the scene I remember from it is him building a mountain of mashed potatoes.

16:43Keyzie:Yes. And same here. Same here. Because he has a vision in his head and he's trying to... It's a mountain he can see in his head, I think, of where the aliens are or something along those lines. Yeah, and that's all I remember about it. But I've certainly never seen that. For a young kid, when I was watching it, it was a bit of a slow burn, I think, so I gave up on it. Yeah, I mean, it's not, you know, if you like a bit of sci-fi action, it's not overwhelming in that sense. It's just a good old-fashioned kind of movie.

17:08Mike Minogue:But it's in the 70s, right? So it's pretty early doors into sci-fi in terms of film. Oh, sci-fi had been around since the very start of film. Really?

17:16Keyzie:Honestly, what they do do sci-fi-wise is pretty good. Good practical effects? Yeah, good effects. Look, I'll give it a solid 3.8 buzzies. Wow, okay. And that's Close Encounters of the Third Kind.

17:28Mike Minogue:Your wife would like it, Keezy. No, she wouldn't. Yes, she would, man. No, she wouldn't.

17:32Keyzie:It's good family fun. No, it's not. With aliens.

17:36Mike Minogue:Last night I watched a great TV show, very funny, highly recommend Game of Two Harbs. Is that the original series? No, the one that I'm on. Oh! Yeah, I was on Sky.

17:47Keyzie:Did you watch it and go, oh.

17:49Mike Minogue:Well, actually, I had to watch it because my wife makes an appearance on the show. Does she? I was watching it with her. Why don't you say so? And so I'm watching the show for, I think it's 45 minutes long now on Sky. I think this Friday when it's on after seven days on three, I think it's an hour long with ads. Wow. But there's a bit where my wife is on it very briefly. And she was sitting next to me the whole time watching it, so nervous for that wee bit. Yep. And she's just like, oh, my God. And then it happened. and then she was just like, oh, okay, that wasn't too bad.

18:15Keyzie:Yeah.

18:16Mike Minogue:You know?

18:16Keyzie:I'm definitely going to be watching that. Then I'll go home and check it out. Why? Just because it sounds great, man. How many buzzies?

18:26Mike Minogue:What do you mean? Oh, out of five. Oh, I was going to say none. Five buzzies out of five. Highly recommend. Latest episode anyway. All right. Thanks. Thanks.

18:39Mike Minogue:The Hauraki Beat Show with Jase, Mike and Keezy. Tune in weekdays at 4 on Radio Hauraki.

18:45Keyzie:Welcome back, you massive backbones. Hope your Thursday's absolutely going off. You're listening to The Big Show, by the way, brought to you by Toledo's.

18:54Mike Minogue:Yeah, Toledo's natural electrolyte drinks. Low in sugar, no preservatives, natural flavours and natural colours.

19:05Keyzie:Toledo's. We were talking just earlier in the show, Mogi, about how crook our daughters were. Thank you for reminding me about Toledo's. I've got to take a couple home for the little one. She requested them specifically. She loves them. She's 30. You still call her the little one? Yeah, well, she's my baby. Oh, yeah. I mean, I'm the little one in my family. Yeah. I mean, and I'm still... You're the oldest, but... I'm still called the baby.

19:29Mike Minogue:So she's 30. How old are you? Pardon? Hey, also, we're not saying Toledo's is like a treatment for sickness, though, are we? It's like an electrolyte drink. But you can have it when you're sick.

19:41Keyzie:Yeah, because she's been, you know, throwing up and all that sort of stuff, just replacing the electrolytes and that sort of thing. Making sure that she's hydrated, Keezy. Come on, Keezy, man. You know what I mean?

19:50Mike Minogue:But why don't you just take her to the doctors? You said she was bleeding out of her eyes.

19:54Keyzie:Because as I say, she's young and, you know, the young heel themselves. This is the thing. You've got to let nature take its course, rip through the system, and then she'll be tickety-boo in a couple of days. If it's not one thing, it's another, Keezy. Exactly. You'll find this out very, very soon. Not very soon.

20:10Mike Minogue:Not very soon. Maybe not ever. Are you about to say happy birthday? Don't let the cat out of the bag, Keezy. Well, I don't have a cat. Of course it's not having a birthday yet. Anyway, fellas, up next, huge news. Oh, okay. Not related to that. Oh. No. Completely different news. Our Scorch show. The Hauraki Big Show with Jase, Mike and Keezy. Tune in weekdays at 4 on Radio Hodaki.

20:38Keyzie:Pluto there on the Radio Hodaki. Big show this Thursday evening. The time is 12 minutes past 5 o 'clock.

20:46Mike Minogue:Fellas, I've got some exciting breaking news.

20:51Mike Minogue:This is breaking news. All right. Think of... I am, I am. Some of the biggest artists in the world. Picasso. No, not art. Da Vinci. No. Leonardo. Not Leonardo da Vinci. Sorry, I meant musical artists. Musical. Oh, Samantha Fox. No. David Bowie. Not that. No, he's dead. Taylor Swift. No, she's big, but no. Meatloaf. He was massive. No, no, no. He's dead as well. No, so it's... Jimmy Hendrix. No, he's dead. Stop naming dead. Jim Morrison. What? They're both dead. But you just said name them. Okay, sorry, sorry. That's all you said. Name. Name the biggest musical artist coming to New Zealand. this year.

21:37Keyzie:Now, you see, I should be making this announcement. You know what I'm saying? What do you mean? Well, the Deftones are coming in about a month's time. So, I mean, why are you trying to grab them? You always bag the

21:51Mike Minogue:Deftones, man. No, it's not the Deftones. No. That's great news, Jason. I'm sure you're definitely going.

21:56Keyzie:Yeah, me and Pugs are locked in, man. That's absolutely awesome. Sorry, I feel like you're really stealing the thunder from my segment here. What do you mean? Easily the biggest, band coming this year. I would say so, man. I mean, the Phooey, oh no, that's next year, eh? Yeah, yeah.

22:10Mike Minogue:No, sorry, it's not a band, it's a solo performing artist. Biggest solo performing artist coming to New Zealand this year is...

22:15Keyzie:Celine Dion! No, is she?

22:18Mike Minogue:That's huge, if true. Um, no, no, okay, fine. Here's a clue, guys, and get ready to get fizzed up.

22:26Keyzie:Please release me, let me go. Is that the audience and his concert. That's Inglebert Humperdinck. You know that. Do you know the thing, if I just heard that song, I wouldn't know. I would not know. But you know the song. I do know the song, absolutely.

22:45Mike Minogue:Everyone knows the song. Inglebert Humperdinck, for those that listen to the show for a long time, you'll know that he is a guilty pleasure of mine.

22:56Mike Minogue:And whenever Keezy's had a few had a few responsibles. He goes absolutely buck wild I go buck wild.

23:03Keyzie:This is some old shit. Yeah. His guilty pleasure.

23:07Mike Minogue:100 % Inglebert Humperdinck. He's coming to the country, and the breaking news is, fellas, Old Keezy has managed to secure four double passes to go and see. To give away. How good. No, no. Watch out. We're not giving them away. 3-4-8-3-0-800-Hodaki. How do you want to do this? Do you know how hard it is to get these tickets? Not very hard. Can I ask, how old is he now? He's got to be 90. What is he, though? I'll tell you what. He wouldn't put money on it. He's 89 now. Yeah, sure. I'll agree with that. But by the time he gets here, he'll be 90. Still going harder. Just looked on Apple Music there.

23:47Mike Minogue:He's just released a new single. Oh, God. Has he really? I haven't listened to it. We can listen to it if you want. I'd love to. Yeah, well, we can do that later on the show. But, fellas, four doubles. That is the four of us. The phone lines are lighting up. We're not giving these away These are for us and our partners fellas We're all going The four of us and our partners are going to Engelbert I'm feeling sick

24:08Keyzie:What day is it? It's a Tuesday For some reason It's a Tuesday at midday

24:17Mike Minogue:Of course it is, is it a matinee? He doesn't want to miss the chase On one So we're all going fellas I'm really excited about it

24:29I guess my only concern is that something's going to have to happen. Are we getting on, you know? What? Are we getting on the gear or something? No, absolutely not. I'm just trying to imagine a world in which I'm going to be anything other than fuming.

24:42Keyzie:I reckon we kick it off at my place. Okay. Yeah. We kick it off at my place because it's just down the road, I think, where it's been held. And we go from there, fellas, see what happens.

24:53Mike Minogue:100%. And then I reckon we should dress formal, Dress really nice And then Jase every single one Of your neighbours Is going to be gone as well Yeah they will be Oh my god We could do like A party bus down there So good But we'll dress nice We'll have a classy dinner And then before you know it Tell me when will you be mine Tell me when When When When This is exciting fellas You're welcome Alright You're absolutely frothin' You've got enough excitement For all of us Which is lucky I'm so stoked, fellas. Big shout out to Live Nation as well for hooking us up. I did say that we'd do a review. Tickets are still available, I'm assuming.

25:33Mike Minogue:Oh, probably not. Maybe. Actually, no, there are some still available somehow. Some. Jeez. Here's Green Day. The Hauraki Big Show with Jace, Mike and Keezy. Tune in weekdays at 4 on Radio Hauraki.

25:46Keyzie:The Black Keys there on the Radio Hauraki Big Show this Thursday evening. evening.

25:53Mike Minogue:Hey fellas, earlier in the show I came to you with a dilemma. I have mulched my garden around my house and the birds keep flicking out all the mulch. Every day I have to go out there and re-rake it. Yeah. I'm sick of raking. And you guys actually had the idea to get in touch with Des Dalgetty who is our kind of rural expert and see if he's got any advice. The good news is Pugs has managed to track him down and he joins us on the phone now.

26:19Keyzie:The Big Show's Rural Correspondent. Diz Dalgiddy.

26:24Mike Minogue:Diz Dalgiddy, you there, mate? Yeah, g'day, mate. How's it going? Yeah, bloody good, Diz. How are you? She's a little bit under the weather, if I'm honest, with you there, Christopher. Winter ice kicking in. It's bloody tough down here in the Horrofenua. Yeah, it gets bloody cold there, doesn't it, Diz? We've got the terroruers up there, mate. It's getting a bloody dusting of the snow on the ground. Oh, yeah, I bet.

26:50Keyzie:Yeah, yeah. Everybody's flicking you in the morning, I tell you what.

26:53Mike Minogue:Totally, Dez, totally, man. We hear you. Hey, listen, Dez, the reason we've called you is I'm after some advice. I've got birds that keep flicking them. Get along to the doctor as soon as you can, Kesey. When you get the old drip down there, mate, you've got to sort it out, eh? No, no, no, sorry. You've got the wrong end of the stick there, Dez. I've got bird issues. Birds? Yeah, yeah, birds. I thought you were married, Kesey. No, no, I am. You're not a shocking bastard, eh? Yeah, he is. You've been out there rutting around here? Keezy, you've been testing the market, have you, mate? Yeah, I mean, that's not cool, Keezy.

27:28You've been putting a finger in your mouth and then holding it up at the end and see which way the wind's blowing, eh, Keezy? No, Des. You've been rooting around.

27:35Keyzie:You've been cheating. You're a shocker. You're a mad bastard. I always like you, Christopher.

27:40Mike Minogue:Thanks, Des. No, no, no, you've got the wrong end of the sticky. I haven't been cheating. When I say birds, I mean they've been sort of rooting around in my garden there and flicking my mulch everywhere, if you know what I mean. Oh, you've been flicking your mulch, have you? Hey, you've been rooting around in your garden, have you? Hey, Christopher. Yeah. You're a shocker. No, dear. Hey, I see you, mate. I see you, all right. You and me, hey. You and me, hey. Yeah. We're birds of a feather, you and me, all right. Wink, wink.

28:17Keyzie:Nudge, nudge. To be fair, Dez, you make a good point there, Dez. I mean, I almost see Keezy as a young Dez. Absolutely, mate. I see him as that as well, mate. Actually, we've got a bit of a trip, man. The boy's coming up at the end of the year, Keesy. Oh, where are you going, Dez? Have you ever been to Bangkok? You'd love that, Keesy. No, I've never been, but I'd love to go, Dez. I've been keen on that trip, man

28:46Mike Minogue:Put it in your diary, mate Put it in your diary Okay, thank you very much for the invite, Des Maybe we'll chat about that off here Just quickly, though, before we let you go, mate How do you keep birds out of your mulch? Shoot the bastards Oh, right, okay Yeah, that's what I thought you'd say Anyway, thank you very much, Des Rest up, mate I've got to go anyway I've got to go and put the bloody dinner on the missus She's in a hurry with me, fellas No, fair enough, Des She's not happy Alright, well, we'll let you go Thanks, Dez. Not happy, I'll tell you what. All right. Never happy. Thanks, Dez.

29:17Mike Minogue:See you, Dez. Anyway. All right. See you later, Dez. All right, mate. Thank you. That was Dez Delkitty. I mean, I knew he was going to just tell me to shoot them. I don't even know why we bothered really. Yeah, well, I mean, he got you. Sausages and a bit of mash potato.

29:33Keyzie:Dez, he's still there. Oh, but you've got to have a bit of mash if you're having sausage, Dez. He's supposed to be going, see you, Dez. See you, man. But I think he had some great advice there for you, Keezy.

29:44Mike Minogue:Yeah, okay, I'll just shoot them, okay, yeah. Well, no, not that advice. No, I'm not. That sounds like a bit of you, Keezy. It's good stuff, fellas. Roura! Oh, bye. The Hauraki Big Show with Jace, Mike and Keezy. Tune in weekdays at four on Radio Hauraki.

30:03Mike Minogue:Radio Hauraki, celebrating Foo Fighters' new album, Your Favourite Toy.

30:09Keyzie:Yes, indeed. We've got toys to give away. We've got albums to give away. We've got the potential of you and a mate going to see the Foo Fighters in either Auckland or Christchurch, fellas.

30:19Mike Minogue:That's right. That happens at the beginning of next year. This is all to celebrate their brand new album, Your Favourite Toy. So to celebrate that, Dave Grohl popped in last week and he dropped off a big box of his favourite toys. Yes. He said, hey, fellas, give these away and put people in the draw for our gig. He's got great taste in toys, let me tell you that.

30:35Keyzie:He's been some absolute doozies, haven't he? Oh, some rippers. Your big red sausage last night was a winner for me. Sorry, what? Your big red sausage. Sorry, what? The toy last night, the big red sausage that you hooked that up. Oh. The backbone one. It was a silly sausage. Sorry. There's nothing silly about it.

30:52Mike Minogue:Wow, that is infinitely squeezable. That was one of the toys we gave away. And fortunately, fellas, today it is another toy from the toy box. Oh, good. So who wants to have the honours of rummaging around today?

31:03Keyzie:Well, I'll do that, Kesey, if you don't mind. It's getting a bit slim in there. I must say.

31:08Mike Minogue:Slim pickings.

31:09Keyzie:Yeah, man. We're starting to run out, but let's go to the lines. G'day, Adam, you mad bastard. How's life? I'm not too bad, Hoagy Ginbot. How are you? Yeah, good. Thanks, mate. What do you do for a crust, Adam?

31:22Mike Minogue:I work in government down in Wellies, yeah. Oh, you're a back bone.

31:26Keyzie:Massive back bone. Good on you, Adam.

31:28Mike Minogue:What's your favourite toy, Adam? Oh, my favourite toy. I'm like you, Keezy. I used to love playing with my Legos and my little bubble there. Yeah, nice, man. Oh, there you go. We can be bubble brothers. Yeah. All right, well. Okay, well, let's have a look. Hoity J's rummaging around in the toy box there. All right. There we go. What have you got there, Jase? What have you got, man? Oh. What is that?

31:50Keyzie:It's a stress poo.

31:53Mike Minogue:What the hell's a stress poo?

31:55Keyzie:I've had a few stress poos in my life. Well, you do five a day, so the chances are. Sorry, can we just stay on top? Oh, but I mean, well, it's a poo. that you can squeeze. But it says you can only use it once.

32:10Mike Minogue:No, it's a distress relief. Is it one of yours?

32:12Keyzie:Well, it's got hand wipes as well attached to the side there.

32:15Mike Minogue:No, we're not just sending Adam from Wellington a poo. What is it? It's a stress tweet. It's a stress poo. Right, okay.

32:21Keyzie:So if you're feeling stressed in your government job there, Adam, you can just squeeze your poo.

32:28Mike Minogue:Oh, sounds good, guys. I don't wish it all day long. Yeah. Here he is. Zindi. Backbone. Adam, you're also in the draw for a double pass to go see the Philly's in either Auckland or Christchurch, mate. Oh, hang on. Is that attached to the prize? I think it is.

32:43Keyzie:Yes. You've also won yourself a Duncan neon yo-yo. There you go. You made it worse. I mean, better. Adam, you hold the line, mate.

32:53Mike Minogue:Good on you, mate. Good luck for the competition. Another chance to win tomorrow on Hodaki Fialas, along with potentially a copy of the new album on vinyl as well. That is so good.

33:02Keyzie:How good.

33:03Mike Minogue:Hey, up next, do you guys want to listen to Inglebert Humperdinck's latest single? Yeah. Yes, please.

33:07Keyzie:Yeah, I want to get a vibe for the fella.

33:09Mike Minogue:Because we're going to go see him live. He's 90 years old, but I bet he's still got it. Well, you'd hope so. He never had it. Here's the killers. Oh, dear. The Hauraki Big Show with Jace, Mike, and Keezy. Tune in weekdays at 4 on Radio Hauraki.

33:23Keyzie:Guns. Rose is there on the Radio Hauraki Big Show this Thursday evening. The time is 5.48.

33:31Mike Minogue:Fellas announced earlier in the show that we're going to go and see one of my all-time favourite performing artists live when he comes later in June. Double passes for the four of us, so we're all bringing our partners. We're going to have a nice show date. It's a Tuesday evening, but we will be seeing... Tuesday. Engelbert Humperdinck live in concert. Please release me, let me go. He's going to be 90 years old, so I'm fizzed up. Now, one thing I just noticed while doing a bit of digging on old Uncle Inglebert, which is what I call him. This person here on the text machine calls him Inglejizhumberdick.

34:10Mike Minogue:Well, that's not funny at all. That's actually super awesome. Works for me. Bet it does. Well, my favourite is still someone that texts through Inglebirdshitcrisperdick. That was a classic. But I've done some digging. turns out old Inglebird shit Chris Perdink has recorded a brand new single this year. How good. So he's 89, currently turns 90, he comes to New Zealand. You guys are worried if he's still got it. Oh, God, he's not going to bore us with the news stuff, is he? I hope when they play that news stuff. Yeah, it never works.

34:41Keyzie:It never works in a live gig.

34:42Mike Minogue:Well, this song was released two weeks ago. Inglebird Humperdink at the age of 89. Can I just predict, and I haven't heard this, I don't think you have clear the key. I haven't listened to it either. I bet it doesn't sound like it was recorded this century. Do you know what I mean? Yes. Not in terms of his voice or anything like that, but it will sound like a song from 1950 or 1960. See, I think it's going to sound heavily auto-tuned or something. Oh. That's my gut feel, but I'm not sure. It's called I've Got You by Inglebert. Let's see if he's still got it.

35:14Mike Minogue:It's going to be a long night. Plucking away there. So far, so good. I'll slash on the cat.

35:30Keyzie:Oh, yeah.

35:34Mike Minogue:He's still got something there. It's not bad, though. Oh, it's not good.

35:45Keyzie:It's all right. It's pretty good. I mean...

35:52Mike Minogue:That's a good song. I like it.

35:55Keyzie:Is he going to sound like that live is my question. Or is he going to sound alive? Yes.

36:00Mike Minogue:Both valid questions.

36:02Keyzie:I'm picking that he's going to sound a bit like Des Dalgetti. You know what I'm saying? Des is coming up for that. Oh, is he coming up? Oh, my God. We have to get in touch with him.

36:13Mike Minogue:We should get a photo of us with Des Dalgetti. Because I've never met him. I've only ever heard him. And Inglebert. And Inglebert. Oh, wow.

36:20Keyzie:Does he play an instrument? Edmund Engelbert Humperdinck?

36:23Mike Minogue:No, no, so he'll have a full band behind him, and he just walks around in a suit with a sort of neckerchief, randomly holding hands with his backup singers and, like, waving at the crowd and stuff. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Neckerchief. That's what I've seen so far. And then he gets very sweaty and undoes most of his top buttons. Yeah. So that his fulsome bosom is hanging out. And that's not his bosom. That's his colostomy bag. Is that what it is? But anyway, in a couple of months' time on a Tuesday evening, fellas, that'll be us.

36:53Keyzie:Okay, good times. Here's Incubus.

36:58Mike Minogue:The Hauraki Big Show with Jase, Mike and Keezy. Tune in weekdays at four on Radio Hauraki.

37:05Keyzie:Welcome back, you massive backbones. Hope your Thursday night's going along very nicely. You're listening to The Big Show, by the way, brought to you by Toledo's.

37:13Mike Minogue:Toledo's natural electrolyte drinks. Tell your sports club to stock them today.

37:22Mike Minogue:Toledo!

37:24Keyzie:Toledo, Toledo's.

37:25Mike Minogue:Toledo's.

37:27Keyzie:Oh, Keezy butchered it at the start of the show. You butchered it that time. I'm the only one holding this thing together. I'd actually argue that Keezy butchered that one as well.

37:36Mike Minogue:Yeah, but you always argue that Keezy butchers everything.

37:39Keyzie:Fettles. What? No, no, if you've got some Toledo admin.

37:42Mike Minogue:Yeah, this better be good. Yeah. Toledos.co.nz. Oh, that's good shit. Thank you.

37:47Keyzie:Fettles, I just want to address something that was published that was broadcast on our Instagram last night, namely me making a piece of toast and some scurrilous accusations being laid by Pugsun, who once again is indulging in character assassination. Well, all he is doing is portraying, might I say accurately, the behaviours and the activities that you are doing and performing yourself. So he can't assassinate your character if all he is doing is documenting your actions. What actually happened yesterday was there was an assumption that I was stealing from people. Accurate. Now. Okay. Wait. I found who owned the white bread.

38:33Keyzie:I texted them and said, do you mind? They said, fill your boots. Silly. And then it was like, oh, but the butter's not yours. Blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. So did you find out who owned the butter? Yes. Who? When we had some Anzac, no, some, We had some hot cross buns delivered to us, and we got delivered a plethora of butter sachets. And my boss today, Toddy, said they were left over from that. And the Vegemite has been there for three years. But you didn't know that. And no one knows who it belongs to. But you didn't know that prior to eating it. Yes, I did. Because I said, who brings butter and sachets to work?

39:11And there was no answer, so you said, I'll eat it.

39:14Mike Minogue:You know what? on this occasion, I'm going to let it slide. Oh, look, I absolutely am. We may get to this today. We may not. We may just forget about it. But there was an absolute deluge of comments on that post. Yeah, it was great. Some of them probably worth reading out this hour. I'd like to venture. Yeah. I'll let it slide, Jase, because he did make me one of those pieces of toast. Yeah. And it's been so long since I've just had fresh white bread toasted with butter and Vegemite. It looked foul. It was delicious.

39:43Keyzie:But it tasted good.

39:45Mike Minogue:It's the Hive. The Hauraki Big Show with Jase, Mike and Keezy. Tune in weekdays at four on Radio Hauraki.

39:53Keyzie:Matt Zellick, you're there on the Radio Hauraki Big Show this Thursday evening. The time is 13 minutes past six o 'clock. Now, the breakfast versus Big Show challenge, it's got bogged down a little bit, fellas. It has. In the sort of minutai, i.e. who's competing against who, how many people, et cetera, et cetera. So we've had to put the hard word on the breakfast fellas. Yes. And say, come on, guys, sort it out. Well, that's right. I mean, this is meant to really move the needle. This is meant to get people from every other radio station in the country tuning in because they want to know who's going to win this bench press competition.

40:27We can't even work out who's in the goddamn thing. Yes. So what are we doing? Let's just lock it down. Let's crack on. Lock it down. Start training. Get it done.

40:35Mike Minogue:100%. So if you were to go, oh, Keezy, what do you think? Breakfast V Drive bench press competition. I'd go, cool. So us three and Pugs versus their three in the studio and their producer Zoe. Yes. That's just obviously what it'll be. But they've sent through some more audio from the show this morning, got no idea what this is about, but I can only assume it's something to do with that issue they're having. Just a thought around the Bricky V Big Show Challenge. How about you make it a fully inclusive 5v5? You guys get Bex, Sandy, breakfast adjacent, and they get preps. I reckon Bex, secret weapon, cheers, Ginger John, the trucking palm.

41:08Okay, so 5v5. Do you know what I'd just say? Can we simplify it? In that case, why don't we go 4v4, they take Bex Sandy, the big show take Bex Sandy, and we've got Zoe. Then you've got one female on each team, and that balances it out.

41:24Mike Minogue:Great idea. Okay, so then, well, they've been so up in arms about our exclusion of Zoe on a gender basis that I think they would have no choice but to agree to that. Except for the fact that it's the big show versus breakfast. Yeah, I guess that's that shit. Days versus, you know what I mean? Yeah, once again. I'm moving interest, man. I'm firing up now. We've got to strike while the iron's hot here. It's 4v4. It's us versus them. Look, if you don't want to have your entire team competing in this, just fire her and hire somebody muscly. It's entirely up to you. It's super easy to do as well. Exactly.

42:01Mike Minogue:We've got Pugs on. Yeah. We've been training that bastard for years, and look at him. He's an absolute weapon. He is a machine. And the other thing about Pugs is terrible producer. We hired him for his bench press prowess. Yes. That's the whole reason we hired him. That's the whole reason he's been here for like four plus years. Certainly isn't his producing ability.

42:26Keyzie:I've never seen him so fired up either. Yeah. Because he's over losing to breakfast because, of course, it affects him as well when we lose. He has to come in at an ungodly hour. in fact earlier than us because he has to do all the sort of prep stuff for the show.

42:40Mike Minogue:Wait, he's going to come in and half-ass prep for two shows. He wants to be in the gym. He doesn't want to be here doing that. Exactly. So it's just 4v4, right? Lock it in. Well, that's sort of, that's my feeling about it. Mookie's getting demoralised. Well, look, I'll tell you what's demoralising about it is we're going over and over the same point over and over and over again and they just need to suck it up. this whole thing, unless I'm mistaken, Kesey, was their idea. Yeah, I'm pretty sure. I can't even remember. I don't even know. But let's say it was. It was, yes. Just so that I can better make my point.

43:15So don't bring it up as the idea if you then don't want to do it. Yeah. Do you know what I mean? Yeah, totally.

43:21Keyzie:And don't just keep trying to shift your way out of things. They're always manoeuvring. Just breakfast, V-Drive, 4v4, both teams. Let's get it on.

43:34Mike Minogue:Good stuff, fellas. The Hauraki Big Show, weekdays from four on Radio Hauraki.

43:40Keyzie:Pixie's here on the Radio Hauraki Big Show this Thursday evening, and I understand, Keezy, you're struggling a bit in your relationship.

43:50Mike Minogue:Yeah, fellas, I do need some relationship advice, if that's all G. I'll just get the relationship music going. Last night, I got home. Oh, yeah. And had homemade pie, very delicious. Oh, yeah, you were fuming about that because it was tiny. No, no, no. Well, it was, but we sorted out. It's all G. My wife then starts packing her bags because we're going to Christchurch tonight after the show. Wow. Flying down to Christchurch. She's got to work all day, so she got her bag packed last night. Now, her bag, her suitcase sits on a shelf in our shed, our garage. in the process of getting that suitcase off the shelf, she knocks over a whole heap of stuff and a huge noise.

44:36Mike Minogue:There's a huge noise. I'm like, holy shit. Is she okay? Run in there. She's fine. And she just looks at me and goes, I'm so sorry. And I said, what? And then she moves out the way and she's put a huge dent in my truck. My truck that I spent four years restoring with my dad and spent a lot of money on has now got a huge dent in it. But she's okay? She's totally fine. Oh, that's a relief. Well, that's the main thing. I thought somebody might have... No, no, no. I was a bit worried there for a minute because I thought his wife, you know, health and safety. No, she's totally fine. Oh, thank God. She's totally fine.

45:11That's the first thing I checked. I said, are you okay? You must have been relieved. I was. I was so relieved. Absolutely. Your heart must have been going like a bugger.

45:18Keyzie:Man, I bet you were kicking yourself too for the way you packed that shelf. Yeah, you know, you put her in days. Because she's not tall enough, obviously, to do that. It must have been you that put it up. I mean, I would have actually got it down for her had I known she was doing. You've had a shocker, Keezy. Jeez, mate, you dodged a bullet there. Thanks, fellas. Holy cow.

45:44The issue I had is I went in there and I saw my truck

45:51Mike Minogue:and I was not furious. I was genuinely really sad. I was like really gutted dragging her over the coals for nothing but I can't, no I didn't, but I can't be mad at her because it wasn't her fault, it was an accident and I'm not here to play the blame game or anything like that but I was just really really sad and then she was like oh I'm sorry but it kind of wasn't my fault and then it started going down the road of who packed the shelf, which I did but I wouldn't have fallen down if she'd asked me for help, so it was just this whole thing yeah it's tricky isn't it because you're blaming her No, I'm not.

46:24But she, of course, doesn't want to accept any blame because that's just how it goes. You know, you can forget it if she's ever going to say, sorry, my fault. No, she did say sorry. Absolutely dreaming. Sorry, but. No, she didn't just say sorry, though. You were saying off here, she said, sorry, but. Yeah, she did that thing Jase does, yeah. Yeah, exactly, and tries to crawl out from underneath it. Oh, you must be furious. Nah, I'm sad.

46:45Keyzie:I think that, you know, because you were saying off air, you were fuming so much, you went and kicked her car and put a dent in her car. Yeah. Yeah, well, I just thought, you know. Tits for tat. Yeah, tits for tat. I mean, we're not 15 anymore, Keezy. You're a grown man. What I said was. You've got a family on the way, for God's sake. No, I don't.

47:05Mike Minogue:I do not. What I said was, oh, are we denting each other's cars, are we? She said you've got a horror of a temper.

47:15Keyzie:Well, especially when you touch this truckie. Yeah.

47:18Mike Minogue:Don't touch my truckie. So anyway, you're asking for some advice. I don't know. How do we patch things up? Because I'm not mad at her. I'm just sad. It's over, man.

47:27Keyzie:What I want to know, and you could probably, we could both benefit from this situation, because I need a panel beater. You need a panel beater. And my wife just last night said to me, Keezy must know a panel beater, surely.

47:41Mike Minogue:Yeah. Well, my dad is a panel beater by trade, but there's no way he's working on your stuff.

47:46Keyzie:So if I was to take my car down to, you know, To Don's place. Yeah, to Don's place. for the weekend. He could probably patch it up for me.

47:53Mike Minogue:He could definitely patch it up, Jase. But yeah, I was just after some sort of... Yeah. But she's okay and that's the main thing. Yeah. It's among the top two main things. Yeah. The Hauraki Big Show with Jase, Mike and Keezy. Tune in weekdays at four on Radio Hauraki. Red Heart.

48:13Keyzie:Chilli Peppers here on the Radio Hauraki Big Show this Thursday evening.

48:16Mike Minogue:Fellas, after a hugely successful comeback last year, Montice Wild Food Challenge is officially back. It is across New Zealand. Over 60 restaurants, pubs, and eateries nationwide are taking part. They're creating one-off creative dishes using wild, foraged, and unconventional ingredients perfectly matched with Montice brews. Listen to Jeremy and I every morning. This may have been to win a$100 Montice Wild Food Challenge dining voucher. Head to montice.co.nz to see the full list of bars and eateries. Fellas, earlier on we were discussing the video that Pugsun made of Hori J. When Hori J, look, you didn't steal it, man.

48:55You didn't steal the bread. You asked who it belonged to. Dilly said it was his. He said you could have a couple of bits. He said fill your boots, actually, didn't he? He did, yeah. But then after that you went out there and you stole Vegemite and you also stole butter. And you were just going, well, helping yourself. Anyway, Pugs made a video of it, posted it last night of you and your thieving ways. and there was a bunch of comments underneath it which I thought we could go through them. Is that all right with you, man?

49:20Mike Minogue:Just quickly, too, before you go through it, Jason's parted his hair in a very weird way and people keep walking past the window and glancing at him. The thing about Liz, I think Jizz thinks, you know, can I say there's a certain Adolf vibe to what's going on here? And if you think that's something to joke about then, Jason, well, just let it be on your...

49:40Keyzie:It does not resemble that character in history in any way. 100 % it does. Yeah, that's the first thing I thought. Every time you walk in here in a hurrah of a mood, with your hair of thunder like that, screaming and shouting, I think to myself, jeez, he's our little dictator, isn't he? Our little hoity jizzbot. Anyway, so you've got you in this video buttering. And can I say doing a hurrah of a job of buttering? Well, it was very cold butter. I've got to say, it was freezing cold. And it was, you know, it was like, oh, no. It was straight through the toast. It was an absolute shambles. It was a shocker.

50:11This one here from Jay Rogers. I wish Jizz was my dad.

50:17Mike Minogue:Oh, that's nice. Isn't that sweet? Because, you know, I make them some toast there at the end of the night. That's right. I mean, normally you would never do that for someone else if it was, you know.

50:27Keyzie:Hey, the one thing I will say that I do consistently for my wife, and she always goes, oh, I always make her peanut butter on toast at the end of the night. And she always goes, oh, no, oh, oh, just because yours is so good and I make her a piece. All right? That's the one thing I do do. Can you say, just the way you told that story, it's like you deserve a night for it. I should. For making some toast. I just wanted to make that one point. This one here from Alison. Half-priced sushi and now stealing butter. This man knows how to save a penny.

51:03Mike Minogue:100%. You got half-priced sushi today, didn't you? I did, yes. This one from Richard Everett. You'll need to stop bullying the wee fella. He's doing his best. I would completely agree with that. Best toast in the world, A1?

51:18Keyzie:Yeah, I think so. How was it, Keezy? Because I made a piece for you.

51:22Mike Minogue:Jase, I'm going to be honest. It was actually delicious. 40-J, best in the world, A1. Thanks, mate. We should be playing that a lot more. This one from Matt Mutinous. Why are you wearing a child sweater? Yeah, I saw that one. I can only imagine that must be that one you're wearing now. Yeah. I don't know. Very confusing. First time ever buttering toast, Hoardy Jizz?

51:44Keyzie:As I say, it was a very solid block of butter. I usually like, you know, to have it at room temp.

51:51Mike Minogue:Yeah, the way you went wrong was you got it out of the locked freezer that was locked for a reason. Yeah, that's right. Exactly. You pick someone's padlock on their own personal food stash. Anyway, if you want to have a geezer there and a whole bunch of other absolutely amazing videos, head over to Instagram and check out the Hauraki Big Show's Instagram page. Plus, I think Pugs just did a video of Jase's hair. Oh, good. Not good. Not good at all. The Hauraki Big Show with Jase, Mike and Keezy. Tune in weekdays at four on Radio Hauraki.

52:27Keyzie:Well, there you go, you mad bastards. That's the big show done and dusted this Thursday night. Now, controversially, we'll have no podcast outro today. We did do a podcast outro, but in reflection, we decided.

52:42Mike Minogue:Yeah, we had to delete it. Yeah. In fact, here is the disclaimer that we recorded. I feel like I came out okay. Not that anyone would know because we've deleted it.

52:52Keyzie:Yes. Well, you would say that. Yeah, you would. But also, you didn't really know what we were talking about.

52:57Mike Minogue:No, I had no idea because I'm a good little boy.

52:59Keyzie:But once you did, you hoed in. Yeah, you did. Yeah, the thing we talked about was a TV commercial from the early 80s that Jason and I could remember very, very well. Yes. It was a thing that people used to tease other kids in the playground, but at the expense of other people. Yes. You know, the people in the ad, which is not on Keezy. No. That's why your comments were, you know.

53:23Mike Minogue:They were really off colour. I don't even know what you're talking about. That was what, you really took to it like a duck to water. shocking comments well maybe we should release it so that people can see that it wasn't me at all look you need protecting Kesey you've got a big career in front of you mate and we don't want to ruin it now and also it's a shame because it was pretty funny

53:46Keyzie:it was Mogi what's the plan tonight mate oh I'm probably going to have a look at something look at I've got my 10 year wedding anniversary coming up so I need to look at somewhere to go for that. Going to have a look at your time. Actually, can you receive me that link, Keezy?

54:04Mike Minogue:Nah. Thanks, man. No worries, brother.

54:07Keyzie:Keezy, you're off to Christchurch

54:11Mike Minogue:and then to Geraldine tomorrow. Yeah, for a big golf tourney. That's right. With the old fellas. Yeah, with my father-in-law and a few mates. Can't wait, man. It's going to be great. Great stuff. Backbone. Hey, Jase, what about you, man? What's on the cards?

54:22Keyzie:Everything's become very complicated now for my life tonight because my daughter's sick, you know, and I'm trying to get her to eat and then my wife wants something else and then should I pick something up for you and something up for her or do I come home or do I, do you want to come out with me or, I mean it's just it's so complicated I might just have a bit of Vegemite on toast here and just chill out on the couch. I'd do that, do it You know what I'm saying? Hey, check out the Instagram, check out the podcasts till tomorrow, see you later Bye

55:00You