FULL SHOW: Summer Platter Guide (feat. Henry Yan)

8:31Keyzie:Well, it could be. The Hauraki Big Show with Jase, Mike and Keezy. Tune in weekdays at four on Radio Hauraki. The Killers there on the Radio Hauraki Big Show this Thursday afternoon, the time 4.28, and we're having platter chat, aren't we, fellas? Oh, yeah, that's right. The old platter chat. I love it. Platter chat with the fellas. Send through on 3483 your nomination, which for what will be on the ultimate platter, we're building it text by text, and by the end of it, we will have a list of everything you need on a platter for this summer. So we can just sort of print the list out if you're having people over.

9:09Jase:That's a great idea. Stick it up on socials. You've got your whole recipe there, don't you? You know, your list off. That's good thinking.

9:14Keyzie:So, so far we've got your cold meats, your cheeses. Oh, we're going to start afresh, are we? Okay, yeah, good. Those are just the things we like. So the first few texts came through, someone being like, what are we putting this platter on? I suggest a fancy chopping board. Someone's also texted through a pile of bricks. I don't think that would work. So obviously we go for the fancy chopping board. I tend to, fellas, as I've previously discussed, I've got about six massive chopping boards at my house. I don't know why. So I tend to go for a big chopping board. But, of course, you can get a very specialised kind of platter.

9:48Keyzie:We've got platter plates, but they're not big enough for me.

9:50Jase:We have those big platters at home. But, yeah, I'm happy with a chopping board. I'm also happy with a chopping board on a pile of bricks. Well, wouldn't that be really hard? Do you know that just the design of it you're there? Yeah, yeah. Yeah, sure. Anything's possible, Keezy. No, I know, but this is the ultimate platter that everyone's going to be building. Well, this is the thing. It would be the ultimate if you could. I mean, it's dreaming big, but, you know. So everyone that wants to make this platter has to go and get a whole heap of bricks. They don't have to, but if they get the opportunity, they should certainly try, because people will be aghast.

10:17Keyzie:If they want to wow their guests, they'll get a massive chopping board on a pile of bricks. Right, okay. So I'll write chopping board on a pile of bricks. All right, now people have started suggesting stuff. Garlic stuffed olives.

10:32Jase:I've never had that before. I do like a green stuffed olive, though. Stuffed olives? Yeah, okay. That's good, Keezy. I'm happy with that. Okay. Mini gherkins.

10:41Keyzie:Staple. Yeah, look, I'm happy with a gherkin. Yeah. Okay. Pickled onions?

10:48Jase:Staple again. Again, I can't argue with a pickled onion. Is there any mention there, Keezy, of... Oh, you go, mate. You go. I'm getting excited. What the hell is booger sugar? Booger sugar. Oh, yes. That's cocaine. Yeah, cocaine. Absolutely. Oh, well, we can't have that then. Huh? We'll put it on the list. It's up to people. Look, we'll put that on a mirror to the side. What? The booger sugar? The booger sugar. Yeah, yeah, yeah. It's not on the platter. I've never heard of that before. Booger sugar. All right, fellas, what about this? Crackers. Crackers?

11:22Keyzie:Of course. Forgot about crackers. Well, can I put it out there? Are we saying quackles or are we saying maybe some toasted French bread? Oh, you have both. Oh, you can have both, could you? You can have both, yeah. Yeah, yeah, okay, both. Right, okay, so we're having crackers. Do we want several types of cracker? I think you do need a couple.

11:43Jase:You need your wafer there and sort of more of a seedy-based one.

11:48Keyzie:I don't want a gluten-free one or anything like that, you know, the sort of Norwegian ones.

11:52Jase:I think you put crackers and then it's down to the individual. Yes. Is there any mention there of those little Savaloys, Keezy? No, no text through asking for Savaloys. That's not really a platter. You know, little boys, little boys. Little red sausage. Yeah, yeah. We don't really want that on a platter, do we? Oh, yum. How good are they? And hundreds and thousands on the old... Fairy bread. Fairy bread, yeah, yeah. There's a text here asking for fairy bread. We can put fairy bread. Okay, fairy bread. Just confirming, are we catering a children's party or are we making a platter? Well, you sort of have all sorts of people there, don't you?

12:21Keyzie:This is the beauty of a platter as it caters to all the age ranges, especially if you've got your little boys in there. Oh, chips.

12:29Jase:Chip, chippies? I'm just sort of thinking, now that I've said chips, do we really need the platter? You see what I'm saying? Not kidding, I've just written a whole list of stuff. We're not going to cross it all out and then write chips. Well, we could just at the end put or chips. Or chips, okay. Someone here is suggesting I like deviled eggs.

12:48Keyzie:Oh, look, I'm fond of a deviled egg. That sounds gross. Keezy, a debiled egg is basically just our curried egg. Oh, really? Yeah. Would you go a scotch egg? No. Well, that seems racist. I'm just going to play this. Racism alert. Racism alert. All right. Let me just, grapes. People want grapes. I'll put grapes out. Yeah, grapes.

13:12Jase:They often don't get eaten, but they sit there. Yeah, yeah. Maybe a little sweet treat like red licorice. It's from Campbell. Oh, red licorice. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I hate licorice. Right, okay, so can I still put it in this one? No. Yeah, yeah, put it down. Okay, well, you can have a veto on that. So you want me to get rid of red licorice? Yeah, no red licorice. Black licorice is all good, though. Smoked salmon? Yes. Cheezels? No.

13:36Keyzie:Is there any semi-tomatoes? Yeah, you've got to have semis. Yeah, someone has a bit of a joke. Oh, chuck some Connie's in there, lads.

13:44Jase:Oh, no, it's true, though. Put that down. No, I think they were joking. You don't know where it's going to go. Put those on the mirror with a sugar booger. The Hauraki Big Show with Jace, Mike and Kesey. Tune in weekdays at 4 on Radio Hauraki.

13:56Keyzie:Yes, indeed. Bush there on the Radio Hauraki Big Show this Thursday afternoon. The time is 4.42. By the way, keep your texts coming on 3483 for the Big Show Big Platter. That's right. We're designing the ultimate platter for summer. We will then put a recipe up somewhere. Keep the texts coming on through. Every text in the draw for a$50 reburger voucher. We've got a few to give away, so you may as well get stuck in. But right now, fellas, it's time for the PGG Writes and Big Show, Big Yarn.

14:26Jase:These things are getting better and better. They really are. Yeah. Yeah. Thanks, fellas.

14:32Keyzie:What is this Big Yarn about, Gesey? Jase, that is a great question.

14:37Jase:Thanks, mate. I was too scared to ask. Yeah. So thanks, Jase. Mike, there's no such thing as a stupid question. To celebrate the hardworking farmers that keep this country going, we've teamed up with PGG Wrightson for the big show, Big Yarn. To begin to win a PGG Wrightson prize pack and$100 cash, just tell us your best farm yarn, good, bad or funny, we want to hear it. Text PGG to 3483 and we'll send you a link to enter. We'll then call the winners back every day this week, which we've been doing.

15:13Keyzie:I think we're doing two tomorrow because we didn't do one yesterday, Keezy. Absolutely.

15:21The person we have called back today, I believe, is Natalie. G'day, Natalie. How are you? Hi, I'm good, thanks, guys.

15:27Keyzie:That's good. Where are you calling from, Natalie? I'm in Onifero, which is northwest of the Waikato, I suppose. Everybody knows where that is. Yeah, totally. It's one of my favorite spots. What was it called again, Jase? Pardon? Hey, Natalie, what do you do for a crust? We are 50-50 share milking. Oh, back roads. Bloody oats. All right, Natalie, do you want to hit us with your big show, Big Yarn? Yeah, sure. So we started share milking middle of last year, and my husband had a soft spot for one of the little heifers, so that's a little two-year-old cow. Yeah. And it was always quite thin, so after we milked it in the shed, he'd bring out a bucket of pellets, and he'd give it a bucket of pellets, and we'll keep milking.

16:18And, yes, anyway, the next day it would come back looking for its extra feed.

16:23Jase:Did he give it some? Yep, we'll give it its extra bucket. And, yeah, and then one day, oh, maybe about three weeks in after feeding it every day, we're in a herringbone shed. So you milk cows on either side and you have a pit in the middle. Oh, yeah, yeah. One of the great New Zealand inventions, that. That's brilliant. Yeah, so I couldn't mention until this little cow decided to bypass wanting to get milk and walked down the back step and through the pit and tried to get up the other end just to get its feed. Right. You're joking. So, oh, my goodness. So, yes, it didn't want to get milk. It just wanted its feed at the other end.

17:03Yeah, yeah, yeah.

17:08Natalie, that Big Show Big Yarn has earned yourself$100 cash and a PGG Wrightson prize pack, mate. Oh, perfect.

17:15Jase:Thank you. Those cows aren't stupid, are they?

17:18Keyzie:We all want that, don't we? Yeah. We just want the feed. We just want to get fed, yeah. We don't want to have to go through the milking. You don't want to be milked, Jase? No. You're going to sit there and tell me you don't want to be milked.

17:28Jase:He doesn't want to be milked. He just wants to be fed. Thank you so much, Natalie, and a big shout-out to PGG Wrightson. Rural living made easy with PGG Wrightson. Shop online at store.pggwrightson.co.nz.

17:46Did you want to say the name of the band? Queens of the Stone Age. The Hauraki Big Show. Weekdays from four on Radio Hauraki.

17:55Keyzie:Nirvana beer on the radio. Hauraki Big Show this Thursday afternoon. Let's talk TV. What's on the telly with Mike Minogue?

18:09Yes. Yes.

18:11Jase:Last night, fellas, I was watching the new show that I've been watching, Pluribus. It's on Apple TV. It's from the creator of Breaking Bad. And it's about essentially an alien invasion. Or is it? Don't want to give anything away. Yes. First episode, I gave four buzzies, I think. And the second episode, I started watching last night. But then I had a panic attack, so I had to go and have a lie down. So I didn't watch much of it. So on to you, Hoardy J. How many buzzies out of five would you give the panic attack? Look, it could have been much, much better. And by better, I mean worse. It was probably a one and a half.

18:48Jase:One and a half, was he? Yeah, it's pretty good.

18:49Keyzie:I watched a new show last night called Pluribulibus. That's it. Oh, Pluribus. Pluribus on the recommendation of Moogie. Oh, Moogie over there. Moogie said he was captivated from the get-go. And that very rarely happens, which is true, by the way. I'm very rarely captured from the get-go. So I watched it, enjoyed it.

19:15Keyzie:I don't think I enjoyed it as much as Mogi did, but certainly it's worth a watch.

19:20Jase:You're going to keep watching it, aren't you?

19:22Keyzie:Yes, I am.

19:23Jase:Yeah, those opening couple of scenes, you're like, ooh, what's going on? And then some other stuff goes on, but I'm hoping it'll get better and better. What I saw of it last night, before I freaked out for zero reason, was also enjoyable. Yes.

19:36Keyzie:Look, I'll give it a solid 3.7 Buzzy's Keezy. Buzzy's Keezy. That's my nickname in high school. Was it?

19:45Jase:No. Was it? No, you had another one. What was it? Birdshit Chris. Remember that? Because that bird shit on me one time. Remember that? Yes. It's one of the all-time great nicknames. Birdshit Chris. Just a certain amount of imagination. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Those are how the best nicknames occur. Oh, it's so good. We've got to get T-shirts made up. No, we don't. My nickname is now Buzzy's Keezy from this point onwards. I watched episode three, I think, of the latest season of Educators on TVNZ. Yes. With a massive Kiwi cast, Johnny Brough, Taika Waititi was in one of the episodes. Tom Sainsbury, everyone that you've seen on New Zealand comedy TV is in the show.

20:31Really surprised. They had a lady who plays Dawn off of Gavin and Stacey, a very successful UK TV show. Oh, yes. They've got this character couple who are constantly either fighting or getting back together. The lady that plays Dawn played the sister of one of the Kiwi actresses on the show but still had a UK accent. So I was very confused by that. But I was like, you know what? It's meant to just be a comedy. It's all G.

20:56Keyzie:Suspension of disbelief. But I was just like, hey, it's Dawn from Gavin and Stacey. So that's pretty cool. And I remember when Johnny Braff came in, who plays the principal, he said that they also had one of the fellas off the Mighty Boosh. That's right. In season two. That's right. Which is pretty cool. So it's really cool to see they're getting various well-known UK comic actors. I forget his last name. Julian something. I also forget it.

21:18Jase:But I did see yesterday that Educators will be the earlier seasons is coming to or already on Netflix. Oh, wow. Which is bloody good. Isn't that cool? Yeah, very exciting. I'll give that episode. Episode 3 was funnier than the last two I'd watched. I'd give it 3.8 buzzies out of 5. Yeah, that's pretty good. Because I was pretty tired. Yeah, sure. You know, and you just, yeah. That can happen, man. TVNZ Plus. Keep those texts coming on 3483. We're going to continue building the ultimate platter for summer after 5 o 'clock. Yes. Also, I've got a bit of a hack when it comes to Christmas shopping.

21:50Keyzie:Oh, how good I love a hack. The Horaki Big Show with Jace, Mike and Keezy. Tune in weekdays at four on Radio Hodaki. Welcome back, you massive backbones. You are listening to The Big Show, brought to you by Reburgeer. Serving good times and good food. Dine in or take away Reburgeer today.

22:16Keyzie:That's a goodie.

22:19Jase:That's a goodie.

22:22Keyzie:You really love those, don't you guys? I sincerely do. They put a smile on my dial, fellas. And that's what it's all about. Oh, Buck and I just remembered. What?

22:31Jase:I forgot to take a picture of me eating Ree burger yesterday. Great. So you owe us 50 bucks each. Oh, yeah. Great. No. Yes. What are you going to spend yours on? I'm going to spend mine on.

22:42Keyzie:I'll tell you what I'll do.

22:43Jase:I'll let you guys off the 50 bucks you owe me. I'm going to give the$50 Jase owes me to charity to make up for all the times Jase has said he's given money to charity but was lying through his goddamn teeth. How about you, Keezy? What are you going to do, man? Well, I was going to use it to buy Reberg gear. Oh. Because he said he was going to buy it and then didn't. Yeah. And so I feel like someone should buy Reberg gear with that money. Yeah. So I'll do that. Okay, you do that. That's good, man. Good stuff. I look forward to seeing that money. What, do you want a bank account, or what's the deal?

23:13Keyzie:Yeah, give me your bank accounts, fellas. Just fire me your digits, and old hoity Jay will see what he can do. I don't owe you money, by the way. See what I can rustle up. You still owe me money for your engagement ring, Keezy. That is a yarn. Can I just say. That is a yarn from four and a half years ago. And can I say. That is terrible. The interest is through the roof. Oh, my God. Are we still doing that yarn? Okay, I'll pay you ASAP, all right? Just forget about it. The Hauraki Big Show. Weekdays from four on Radio Hauraki. Radio head there on the Radio Hauraki Big Show this beautiful Thursday evening.

23:50Hey, fellas. I've got a bit of a hack for Christmas. Oh, yes. Now, for a lot of people, this hack is bloody obvious. And the hack is buy your Christmas presents tomorrow because tomorrow is Black Friday.

24:00Jase:Oh. And Black Friday, do it all online, and that way you won't have to worry about whether they get to you on time. Everything is discounted. Every store has sales. You buy them. They will arrive within the next couple of weeks. You wrap them. That's Christmas sorted. Do it all tomorrow night after work.

24:14Keyzie:The only issue that I have with Black... Racism alert. Racism alert. Friday. Friday. Friday, you know, because everyone sort of talks about black. Racism alert. Racism alert. So they all talk about Black Friday. Yeah. You know, are they really sales? Yes. I mean, are they just, hey, let's call it black, you know. Racism alert. Racism alert. Can you just stop saying it?

24:42Jase:It's just easy if you stop saying it. Just say B Friday. Sale day. Okay, B Friday. Racism alert. Just say Friday. Racism alert. Friday. Just say Friday, because it's setting the alarm off, and I can't do anything about it.

24:53Keyzie:Well, can we actually do something about that? It's beginning to piss me off. I mean, it's Black Friday, for God's sake. I mean, what else am I supposed to call it? That worked. Oh, there we go. Black Friday. Racism alert. It was glitching, I think. Racism alert. Was it glitch? I was, or the machine was?

25:09Jase:It was, because it went off so many times, it's overloaded there.

25:13Keyzie:Right, Pugs, can we get someone in here from tech or something? because it only seems to go off when I say something. It can smell the intent, I think. I mean, look, Jase, what I've been told about the racism alarm is that it is an automatic thing. It is something that was installed in all radio studios just to sort of cover our bases legally. And it's designed to basically stop, you know, if an announcer was to say something bad, they are then aware that they've done it, whether it's by accident or intentionally, and then they can then make amends and apologise. I mean, what's wrong with me saying black?

25:48Racism alert. Racism alert. Hang on, Mogi, can you say it?

25:51Jase:Black Friday. Black Friday. Now say it in anger. Black Friday. Yeah, see, that's totally fine. They're not like black Friday. Yeah. Black Friday. If you say it really nicely, Jase, you're thinking about if I could give you some direction. If you could. If you're whispering it as a sweet nothing into the ear of your lover. Right, okay, so do that.

26:17Keyzie:Black Friday. Oh, yeah. Okay, so I just need to go Black Friday. Racism alert. Racism alert. Seriously, man. What? What am I supposed to do that? It's an automatic thing. Well, can we get someone down from the tech desk to figure this out? Because it's ridiculous. So get someone on to try and unplug it. I'll be honest with you.

26:37Jase:My concern is, Jason, if we get them down here fiddling around with a racism alarm, They might sneak in a sexism alarm and then we're really in deep shit. Black Friday. Oh, you see? Racism alert. Racism alert. The Hauraki Big Show. Weekdays from four on Radio Hauraki. Guns.

27:02Keyzie:Roses there on the Radio Hauraki Big Show this Thursday afternoon. If you've just joined us, Jase has finally had a gutsful of the racism alarm, which is an automatic alarm that goes off whenever it senses someone has said something racist on the radio.

27:18Jase:The irony, of course, being that he's sick of the thing that's pointing out the racism rather than being sick of the racism itself.

27:24Keyzie:Well, that's the thing, right? There is nothing racist about me saying Black Friday. Racism alert. What is racist about that? I don't know, Jase. It's automatic. I wish it was just me firing it off as a joke, but that's not at all how it works. It is real. You said you wanted to get someone from IT on the line to explain it to you, or do you want to get rid of it? Is that what you want to do? I want the damn thing gone. All right, well, what I've done is I've teed up for Megan, who does work in IT. She's the head of IT here. I know Megan. Yeah, yeah. G'day, Megan. How are you? Yeah, hi, guys. How are you?

27:58Keyzie:Yeah, good, thank you. Well, I'm not good, actually, Megan. I'm sick and tired of it. we have this, what's it called, a racism alert here in the studio that only seems to be triggered when I say something and I'm wanting it shut down. Yeah, so Megan, the thing, because just so that Jase is across it, this is an automatic thing that was installed by our sort of parent company, right, just to cover our bases. Is that correct? Yeah, so it's actually been a legal requirement. So all radio stations across the country have one installed. To be honest, I actually forgot we had one because it's just never gone off this much before.

28:34Yeah, see, that's interesting, Jay. No, it's not, Keezy. Are you telling me, Megan from IT, that you never have any issues with it on any other stations? Never had any issues, honestly. Even Mike Hosking hasn't set it off.

28:47Jase:I was going to say, I must be going like a bastard on Hosking's shows. Yeah, you would have thought so. My God. So if even Mike Hosking's not setting it off, what about Megan from IT? Has it been going off on any other shows on Radio Hauraki or just ours? Just yours, honestly. Okay. Yeah, like I've been getting pained a lot today. Right.

29:08Keyzie:Well, can I just ask, I mean, how is this even working? Is it like vibrational? I mean, what's the trigger, if you will? It's actually on low intensity, so it shouldn't really be triggering too much. Yeah, right. Can you just try again, Jase? I've just actually... Yeah, could you turn it down a little bit more? So she's changed the sensitivity. I didn't even know that was a thing. All right, so Jase, do you want to just say something? Boy, have I got a hack for Black Friday. Racism alert. Racism alert. Megan, can you do me a favour? Megan from IT, can you turn it down to just zero sensitivity almost, pretty much not even on?

29:44Okay, give me two sets. Okay, thank you. Are you happy, Jase, that we're getting this scene too?

29:49Jase:Well, I just want it gone, Gizzie. Can I point out as well, I don't think you've been racist when you say Black Friday. Thank you, Mogie. I mean, I don't know what's going through that head of yours when you're saying it, but it doesn't sound racist.

30:01Keyzie:I'm sorry, Megan, it doesn't read my mind, does it? Does it? Sorry, are you there? Are you there? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Hi, Megan. It's going to be good to go now to try again. Okay. All right, okay. So let me just test. Let me go first. I'm going to be buying all my Christmas presents tomorrow because it's Black Friday. I like Black Friday. Okay, so that's good. And, Jase, do you want to go, man? Hey, if you want to buy presents, Black Friday is the time to do it. Oh, yes! Okay, so, Megan, just confirming you've turned it right down to the lowest sensitivity and we shouldn't have any issues anymore.

30:34Thank you so much. Yeah, I mean, that's the lowest. I mean, that's the solution or honestly the other solution is probably just to stop being racist. Would you be open to that, Jase? Oh. The Hauraki Big Show. Weekdays from four on Radio Hauraki.

30:49Keyzie:The Hives here on the Radio Hauraki Big Show this glorious Thursday afternoon. We've got another treat in the studio with us, comedian Henry Yan. Oh, boy, so good. Was that good, man? That was close. Because when we were talking about how to say your name properly, and Kesey butchered it. It's Henry. It's Henry. Yeah. What did I say? You said Enry. Oh, Enry. Right. How are you going, you mad bastard? What's going on? Oh, man, just living the dream, you know. Can't wait to say some words tomorrow night to a lot of people. Yeah. Yeah, good. Because Henry's a comedian, we should say. Yeah, he's a comedian.

31:23That's a good point. And there's a gig tomorrow night, we should say.

31:26Jase:Absolutely, massive gig. It's the best Christmas comedy show on earth, hosted by Chris Parker. You're not in the name of the show yet, but next year I think it could be you. What's that about, man?

31:36Keyzie:I mean, they've got to name you, surely. Are they going to pay you? Yeah, I hope so. Right, okay, like 20 bucks or something like that, and say we'll give you a few free beersies. Yeah, I suppose it's performance-based, you know? So if you get a laugh, you might get like 50 cents. Yeah, yeah, for every laugh you get. Well, that's what they used to do back in the day is just pay us some beers. They didn't even really pay us, you know? Well, I was happy with that, man. I was going to spend the money on beers anyway. Yeah, that's fair. Yeah, I didn't know before coming on, but yeah, I didn't know you were a legend.

32:09Yeah, yeah, so Jase is a legend. That's the thing about Jase. Nobody knows that he's a legend.

32:12Jase:Yeah, yeah, yeah. But it's important. It's in his contract. Whenever someone comes in, we inform them, hey, Jase is a legend, so just treat him as such. Just so you know. But yeah, Jase had an extensive care. I hate to speak on your behalf, Jase, but as one half of the duo Sugar and Spice with Johnny Brough. Who's Spice? Who's Spice? Me, man. Oh, man. And it was really performance-based stuff, not strictly comedy as you would know it or understand it, Henry. In fact, completely unrecognisable as comedy if you look at it now. Yeah, pretty much. But oftentimes Jason would talk about going on stage and they'd have no idea about how they were going to finish their bits.

32:48Jase:So that's what you were dealing with. Oh, man. Well, that's why it's good to be on the radio, you know? Yeah, yeah. We do the same.

32:55Keyzie:We often have no idea how it can end. So, Henry, for people that haven't seen you before, I mean, what sort of comedian are you? Are you sort of a wacky props comedian? Don't add wacky in the front of me. You strike me. Wait, why are you hating on props? No, I was... Shout out to all the prop guys out there. I got your back. I got your back. I love props. I love props. So tell us about your comedy. I just talk and I just be, I guess, People say I'm weird. I think I'm normal. Well, your T-shirt's a bit weird. Oh, it's a Dragon Ball Z shit, man. It's cool. You ever seen Dragon Ball Z? Well, yeah, but when I was like 10.

33:34Keyzie:Oh, man. Bullshit. It was not around when you were 10.

33:39But I would say probably my style is a bit awkward, really weird, super silly. Yeah. New Zealand's good at that, aren't we? We're good at being a bit weird. Yeah, you find like when you go international, You know, they think New Zealand comedy is like a bit silly and a bit weird, eh? Well, one thing, because we've got Bec Sandys, who is a comedian as well. She's our day show host. And she was saying that you did the Raw competition here in New Zealand. You didn't manage to place, but then you went over to Melbourne, was it? And you took it out. Oh, yeah, dude. How good, man? Yeah, I didn't pay New Zealand enough money.

34:11Right, so that's how it works. By the time I got to Melbourne, I was loaded. Yeah, right, you paid them. Yeah, yeah, sweet. That must have been huge for you, though. Oh, yeah, it was really cool. It was awesome to win. It was also crazy because it's like you're just doing you and you're like, oh, people like this. We are days. Suckers. If you're keen to see Henry Yan, along with Ray O 'Leary, Courtney Dawson, James Mustapick, Lily Catastrophe, Janae Henry, Paul Williams, Brinley Stent, and Alan McElroy, who was in here the other night, we've got the Christmas show happening tomorrow. It is the greatest Christmas show in the world ever.

34:44Is that what it is? Yeah, definitely, 100%. I've never seen a Christmas show top it. I haven't even seen this one yet, but I've heard it's going to be good. Part to be. Part to be already. Yeah, yeah. What is it like, Henry, when you're on a bill with all those, because those are all pretty established names in New Zealand, yourself as well, but when you've got all those big names, is it a competitive thing? Do you want to go out there and get more laughs? Oh, no, because it's kind of like sitting here next to the legend. It's just the same thing.

35:13Keyzie:Yeah, I mean, I could see that you were intimidated when you first walked in, even though you didn't know I was a legend. Yeah, I was like, man, this legend is so old. No, no, just kidding. Don't be like, he's got a cricket ball. Well, I am quite old. Mate, I'm 38 now, and I tell you. 39. I'm 39, that's right. Well, this is what I mean. I'm so old, I'm getting my age wrong. It's got to be 83. Three. Nah. Did he see your passport, Jase? Maybe. Hey, this is Def Leppard. Yeah. We'll come back and chat to Henry-Anne after this, eh? The Hauraki Big Show. Weekdays from four on Radio Hauraki. Def Leppard there on the Radio Hauraki Big Show.

36:00Keyzie:This Thursday afternoon we have comedian Henry-Anne. Did I say that right? Yes. You're 100 % man. I'm really worried that I'm getting it wrong now, you know what I mean? I was watching you. You nearly looked at the paper and you did it, so thank you. Well done. Well, it was like you were saying, Henry, it's very hard to keep track of all the comedians in the world. Do you know what I mean? Yeah, yeah, yeah. And my memory's not too bad, but I can't remember everyone's name all the time.

36:24Jase:Well, neither can Henry. I mean, just before we came back on air, he turned to me and said, what's your name again? And then he turned to Kesey and said, what's your name again? And you, legend, what's your name? So, you know, look, it happens to all of us, man. Yeah, it does. That's going to be me tomorrow. What's my set again? And on that note What do you do? Do you do a special Christmas set? Nah, I don't have Christmas jokes No? I haven't been working on any so I'm just going to talk about Stuff Because it's the best Christmas comedy show on earth It's hosted by Chris Parky and one of a whole plethora Of top comedians that are on it It's tomorrow night up here in Auckland If you want tickets, comedyfestival.co.nz You'll find them there Will you wear like a Santa hat or anything?

37:06Will it be even remotely Christmassy? Nah man, nah I don't even celebrate Christmas at my house, dude. Yeah, that's a spirit, man. Because we used to. And then we got to like age five, and then my parents were like, no more presents.

37:19Jase:Age five? Yeah, man. That's a good, there you go, there's your set. That's a good set up, man. That's a set.

37:25Keyzie:Straight away. And you can still wear that wacky T-shirt. Man, it's like the pot calling the kid all black.

37:35Keyzie:What are you saying, man? You're going to love my shirt.

37:39Jase:Jace is well known for his wacky shirts, man. So he knows one when he sees one. Yeah, exactly.

37:44Keyzie:So tell me, how does Henry spend his day? Do you do other stuff other than comedy? Yeah, yeah. You guys probably know I'm an engineer. Oh, okay. Really? Yeah, so I do engineering. I do numbers in the day, words at night time. Yeah, yeah. Yeah, but I pretty much do that. I'm a big fan of basketball. Right. I love basketball. I love watching it. I used to play it, but. Yeah, right. You weren't very good.

38:11I see where this is going. Oh, man, you're a legend, you know, but not your knees. So you did play basketball for a while there? Yeah, yeah. What position were you in? Point, point. Point guard right at the point. I couldn't score, so I would pass.

38:28Keyzie:Keezy used to play a bit of basketball too, but he tended to ride the pine a little bit, you know what I mean? Dude, I love the pine, yeah. I get the water too. Yeah, yeah. One of my favourites was when someone's like, oh, because someone needs to run the scoring at all times. And so I'll be like, oh, look, I'll take care of it at the start there and I'll do some scoring and then I'll just hopefully still be doing it 10 minutes later until someone wants to be subbed in. Yeah, what you've got to do is you've got to give your team more points just like on the regular. Because you're putting in whose score, you push their number and then what they got.

39:02Oh, really? So you could put like Keezy three-pointer.

39:06Jase:And they might not be like, no. Hang on. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

39:10Keyzie:We had a golf tournament yesterday, Henry, against the breakfast show, and I was thinking to myself last night, Keezy, we should have cheated, man. We should have cheated. We could have cheated. We lost. By one shot. What if they cheated? That's, yeah. So you might not have lost. Yeah. It's like, why didn't we cheat, Keezy? Do we do a break today after Henry about discussing whether or not they cheated and then send that to them just to see what they say. 100 % they cheated because I think dinner is better than breakfast. Exactly. Everyone agrees. Well, Henry, it's been a pleasure meeting you, mate.

39:51Keyzie:Oh, man. Thank you guys so much for having me. Well, it must be special for you chatting to a legend. I didn't know you were still living. Just strolling, just strolling. Living legend, Jason. Don't destroy me. That show again, Keezy. It's at Sky City. It's the best Christmas comedy show on earth, hosted by Chris Parker. If you want tickets, comedyfestival.co.nz or just Google best Christmas comedy show on earth. It's tomorrow night in Auckland. One night only. Huge, huge line-up as well, so make sure you get stuck in. Yep, follow me on Instagram. Good on you, Henry. So good. The Hauraki Big Show.

40:27Weekdays from four on Radio Hauraki.

40:30Keyzie:Cool jam there on the Radio Hauraki Big Show this Thursday afternoon. Now listen, plenty coming up after five o 'clock. we're going to finish off the Big Show Big Platter. That's right. We are building New Zealand's dream platter so that everyone has a recipe heading into summer which will be accessible on the Hauraki Big Show Instagram page. If you've got any suggestions for what you want to see on the platter, text us 3483. You could win Reburger vouchers.

40:52Jase:How bloody good, man. And also, fellas, I've got a question. Am I even a man? Am I even a man? I had something happen to me last night and I'm beginning to question it myself. The Hauraki Big Show with Jace, Mike and Keezy. Tune in weekdays at four on Radio Hauraki.

41:11Keyzie:Welcome back, you massive backbones. You're listening to The Big Show brought to you by Reburg Gear. Serving good times and good food. Dine in or take away Reburg Gear today.

41:34Yeah, so go check out Reburger if you're...

41:37Keyzie:That's a burger joint, by the way. Yes, it is. Just by the way, fellas, just a reminder too, because I owe you each 50 bucks. Send me through your deets, your account details, so I can sort that, all right? Right, so you admit that you didn't have Reburger last night. Oh, no, I did, but you guys clearly don't believe me. No, I don't. And I... Look, okay, look, that's fine. What did you have? I had a royal... What's it called? The...

42:01Jase:Oh, God, you're embarrassing yourself. It's embarrassing. No. This whole thing right now is super. It's called the Red Velvet or something.

42:10Keyzie:It's a chicken burger. It's bloody delicious. The Red Duke or something? The Red Velvet, like the cake. Are you talking about the Royal Big Smoke? No. Or are you talking about the Regent Red? Maybe it was the Regent Red, yes. Were there any sauce chickens there? No. Well, I just popped in and out. I didn't have time to muck around. Did you order online? Pardon? Did you order online if you just popped in? No, no, I ordered while I was there. Right, so you walked in, you ordered on the kiosk, and then waited. Yes. Okay.

42:38Jase:Any sauce chickens there? That's what I'm saying. No, no, they weren't. Really not?

42:42Keyzie:No, they weren't.

42:43Jase:Wow. I'm saying I think you didn't even go then.

42:45Keyzie:So, um. I'm starting to think that. Just send me through your details. Yeah. And I'll sort that. Zero. Six. Yeah.

42:55Jase:One, two. Yeah.

42:57Keyzie:Do you have time for Mogey to give his full account number?

43:00Jase:When else are we going to have a chance to do it? Just write us a check, man. That'll do.

43:04Keyzie:Who does checks, Keezy? Get with it, man. The Hauraki Big Show. Weekdays from four on Radio Hauraki. The exponents here on the Radio Hauraki Big Show this Thursday evening. I see the front, Keezy. Bloody Nora. Come on, come on, man. I don't even know what you're talking about. I don't know what you're talking about. If you've just joined us, we are picking up Platter Chat. We've decided to get the audience to put together the ultimate platter or cheese board sort of thing so that whenever you go to make one for summer, you've got a recipe on our social media that you can use. Yeah, totally, man.

43:36Keyzie:Well, it's the time of year, isn't it, for a platter? A few cold beers. He's a big, wholesome platter for the team out there. That's right, Jase. So, platter chat. Douche-de-douche. Douche-de-douche. So far, it is on a giant chopping board, which is on top of a pile of bricks. Yes. It will feature stuffed olives, gherkins, pickled onions, cocaine on a small mirror off to the side with a small bowl of Connie's in it. Three different types of cracker. Quacker? Yeah, quacker. French bread. Oh. That's racist. No, it's not the thing. We've switched it off. Yeah, yeah. Krusty French bread was what you guys wanted.

44:14Krusty, yes. Yeah, yeah, so it's going to be crusty.

44:16Keyzie:Krusty French bread. Fairy bread, saveloys, deviled eggs, grapes, Chips, smoked salmon, and pre-rolled port royals. Candy floss. You want candy floss on there? Are you going to text it through on 3483? 348. Okay. Eight. Candy floss.

44:35Jase:Three. All right, now there are plenty of -

44:36Keyzie:Did you put the semi-tomatoes in there? No one's text it through.

44:40Jase:They're not semi-tomatoes. They're semi-dried. They're almost dried. Yeah. They're almost dried. It's so sweet and delicious. What about a pesto? Jase, the way it works is people text it through. Oh, okay. Do we not get any say in it? Well, you've got your sabalois and your fairy bread. Yeah, true. All right. And my booger sugar. Diced cucumber in a vinegar bath. Look, I'll be honest with you. The way that you improve that is you also have to put red onion in there as well. The cucumber and the vinegar mixed with the red onion is good eating. I wouldn't be, was it diced? Diced cucumber. Yeah, sliced, not diced.

45:19Jase:Dicing's too small.

45:20Keyzie:I don't know that I'm overly stoked about it being on the platter, to be honest. Okay. Just put an asterisk. Yeah, get rid of it. Just an asterisk. A risk. All right. We've had pickled onions, I think. Someone here, Campbell, wants a whole roast pork. Oh, my God. That's probably too big.

45:35Jase:Pork mints. That's how you do it. Oh, yes. And pork mints, definitely. A bowl of pork mints.

45:39Keyzie:A bowl of pork mints, Keezy. On a cheese board on a platter. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Definitely. People love their pork mints. Damn it. That should have been the first thing on that. Isn't that weird? I've never seen that before. You've not been to Europe. How dare you. That's the worst thing you can say to anyone. Stuffed bell peppers. I like that. I like a stuffed bell pepper with your sort of fettery cheese in there.

46:03Jase:I don't know if this has come through here, Kesey, so this might not be allowed. Rotisserie chicken. You want a whole rotisserie chicken there? Yum, they're so good. Just rip your own pieces off. That's right. I don't know how they're doing at the moment, but they keep them, it stays so moist.

46:17Keyzie:Can I chuck something in there as well? Could we put a little pottle of Marmite there as well? What are you going to put that on? Your French crusty bread. Yes, and the chicken. Okay, you're allowed to put, but that's your one thing though, Jase, all right, now you've used that. Okay, we're going to go back to the people that are texting through. Cheese balls. Yes. Do you want cheese balls, Jarvie?

46:38Jase:Well, they're like a cheese, aren't they? Yeah, I'd go cheese balls. Okay, cheese balls. Does that count as chips or are they different? They separate. Yeah, no, that counts as cheese.

46:45Keyzie:That's in the cheese department. Really? Yeah. Smoked kahawai? That's a classic. It is. Is it? Yes. But we've got the smoked salmon. Oh, we do. You don't need two types of fish. Okay, let me have a look right here. Anything else?

47:02Jase:It's quite a good board. I feel like, have we got enough? Bananas? Someone did say a bunch of bananas. Did they? Yes, 100%, but I'm like, that's just being silly, so I didn't read that one. Although there is a thing about having fruit on a cheese board, which generally I'm opposed to. A fruit paste though, people generally have that. What about quince paste?

47:19Keyzie:Can I just put it out there, fellas? I'm not happy at the lack of spreads. Your pestos, your chutneys, your piccolili.

47:28Jase:A pate.

47:30Keyzie:A pate. Yes, pate. Pate. What did you say? You want some chutney? Yeah, well, you know, some... Chutney? Chutney, piccolili, whatever. Which one? Both. And pesto. We have both. Which one? And pesto. Yes.

47:44Jase:Pesto's already there. Someone here's asking, do we want tree sap? Tree sap.

47:52Keyzie:No, we'll leave that for you. The Hauraki Big Show with Jace, Mike, and Keezy. Tune in weekdays at four on Radio Hauraki. Incubus there on the Radio Hauraki Big Show this glorious Thursday evening. Did you enjoy having a whack yesterday, Keezy? I sure did, Jace. We played golf. We sure did, man. It was excellent. My wife wasn't impressed that I came back sunburnt, by the way. Neither was my wife. She was like, did you put sunblock on? And I was like, yes. And she said, did you reapply it? I said, no. Did you actually put any on? Yes, I did. Because I didn't put any on. Right. You guys are mad bastards, man.

48:29Yeah, wow. We are hard. We're in golf carts, man. And I was like, we'll be under shade a lot of it. But you're not. You're under shade for about 10 seconds. And then you're in the sun for the rest of it.

48:38Jase:Because your ball, you're hitting it about eight metres. Well, that's right. Off to the side. Yeah, yeah. And quite often where Jace's balls went, you couldn't actually drive a golf cart there. No, exactly right.

48:46Keyzie:Oh, hang on. I was hitting straight as an arrow, Keezy.

48:50Jase:And then you're searching for the ball for 10 minutes and the beating sun. And I don't want to get told off for driving a golf cart into a pond or a bunker or a bush, you know?

48:59Keyzie:And also, of course, because Keezy spent so much time in the sand and the sand is white and it reflects off the sand. Yeah, that's true. You know what I mean? But anyway, let's get back to the point. I don't even know what the point is. Oh, that's right. so that was the Big Show Swingers Club we've completed that one, we took on breakfast, we lost the next stop for the Radio Hodaki Swingers Club is the Minuka Fuel Chasing the Fox which is happening in December, Friday December 12th, Royal Auckland and Grange, bloody fancy golf course that the Big Show are going to be broadcasting from the Heineken Silver Clubhouse which is right by the final hole, it's the best spot, we'll be getting amongst all the action and we've got space for a couple of backbones to join the Hodaki crew for the event so you will get VIP passes, you will get to be with us for the broadcast free drinks and food and stuff for the entirety of the event.

49:43Oh, how good. It is absolutely epic. It is going to be an awesome time, and everyone here on staff is targeting Chasing the Fox for a big one, if you know what I mean.

49:50Keyzie:Yeah, I do know what you mean. Now, am I right in thinking, Kesey, we get to play six holes as well? We do. Yes. So the way Chasing the Fox works is it's six holes. We get to go ahead earlier in the day, Jase, myself, you, and I'm not sure who else, get to just play those initial six holes, get an understanding of how it all works. Right. I'm not sure if the listeners get to come with us on that because it's very sort of, you know. I'll be coming with you on that. Yeah, yeah, we'll just hack the place up. Yeah, yeah. Just get massive divots going everywhere. If you want to hang with us and enjoy Chasing the Fox from the comfort of the stylish Heineken Silver Clubhouse, enter at hodaki.co.nz.

50:24It is R18, but it's Cheers to Heineken Silver, world-class, low-carb lager. We'll see you there.

50:30Jase:Get it in, yeah. The Hauraki Big Show with Jace, Mike, and Kesey. Tune in weekdays at 4 on Radio Hauraki.

50:44Keyzie:Well, there you go, you mad bastards. That's the big show done and dusted for this Thursday evening. What's the podcast outro clip today, Keezy? Thanks for asking, Jase. Today's podcast outro clip is about you getting a haircut. When you go, can you say Keezy reckons don't have sideburns, just get a taper? For my sideburns? Yeah, because they basically know burns at all.

51:07Jase:But you've got to say Keesy reckons because he'll know who that is.

51:11Keyzie:What I'll do is tapered sideburns, a fade with a bit of length on top. 100%.

51:18Jase:Do I ask for a fade? I reckon you should get braids. So tapered on the sides. Cornrows. Like a number two fade on the sides all the way up. Yeah. All the way up. Oh, hang on. A high fade. Why are you smiling like that? Because it'll be sick. I always smile at six.

51:36Keyzie:Yeah, so that's going to be my haircut tomorrow, fellas. What time's your haircut, Jase? Well, I'll just walk up there. He's literally 30 metres from my house.

51:43Jase:Jase, you'll be looking smart, man. Yeah. Big day tomorrow, eh? Big haircut for old Hoity Jisbot. Yeah, man. Should we do a Hoity J's new haircut special tomorrow? I think so. That'll be exciting. Should we get your hairdresser in? Your hairdresser. He'd probably quite like that. Yeah. Because where does he work, Rodney Wayne? Keezy.

52:03Keyzie:Come on, man. It's a hairdressing place. $400 for a haircut. You're out of the game, man. Yeah, well, if you want to look good, fellas, you've got to, you know, shell out the coins. Hey, he doesn't need a haircut. Mogey, what are you up to tonight?

52:17Jase:I couldn't tell you, man. I'm going to go home, say goodnight to the old kiddo there and have a bit of dinner and maybe sit out on the back deck and enjoy the evening. Yeah, nice. Nice, mate. Keezy, what's for tea, man? For dinner tonight, oh, we've got pasta that we're having with a bit of prosciutto, a bit of balsamic vinegar, cracked pepper, and rocket. You like that? Whatever. That sounds delicious. I know it sounds delicious. And there's Parmigiano cheese. Parmigiano.

52:51Keyzie:Parmigiano. Is that a European thing, is it? It's an Italian cheese, that's right. What are you having tonight, Chase? No idea, actually. My wife was effing at Jeff when I left about having to get some dinner of my mother-in-law coming over and all that jazz.

53:04Jase:And then what you said too was shocking. Yeah, it was. What was it again?

53:08Keyzie:Boy, I'm going to be under the gun when I get home, I can tell you that much. Hey, listen to the podcast. Go and check out the Instagram tool tomorrow. See you later. Bye.