FULL SHOW: Swinging On Tour

9:39Keyzie:Don't mind it. Nah. I like the flute. It's getting fruitier. I like it. You're not feeling it, Moggy? That's not my favourite so far. Okay, all right. Well, that's the first option there.

10:00Does this say end of the big show? Oh, it feels more like the start of. I prefer that to the first one. All right. It does feel like the start of something, doesn't it?

10:12Keyzie:It does, like you're about to launch into it. It's very chirpy and chipper though, Pug-san. Yeah, okay, that's option number two. How many options have we got? 17. Good.

10:32Jase:I like that one. Big fan of that one so far. Yeah, yeah, yeah. It's also got the thing where it just drops down. and feel it out. It needs that sort of that three second period at the start that people can identify what it is and then Jase you start talking. So that for me has nailed it so far. I'm going three so far. You don't think there was too much bongo at the start of that? You can never have enough bongo. Okay, it's good to know. And here's the fourth and final option.

11:01I feel like one of us is stripping.

11:08Jase:It is very strippery.

11:10Keyzie:No. No? You're making a call there? Well, I mean, ultimately, the people will decide. Right, okay. Pugs is actually in for me. There's actually five. Let's hear the first. All right, here we go.

11:30Jase:I don't know about that one. That's good as well. Again, it feels like the beginning as well. The beginning of something again.

11:36Keyzie:I'm personally going three. Okay, option number three.

11:40Jase:Can we play number three? And, Jase, can you do the outro? All right, here we go. The show has officially finished.

11:54Keyzie:Well, there you go, you mad bastards. And that's the end of the big show this Monday evening. Oh, it's perfect. Yeah, it's not bad. I like it. I think we just lock it in, man. Yeah, I think so. Bugger the audience. Yeah, 3483. if you do have any feedback on that, but I think we've found our new ending music, guys.

12:11Jase:Well, look, and it's pretty amazing that it's unanimous. Yeah. So I don't think we should mess with that. Yeah, I agree. And the best part about it is that that all could have been done off air. Oh, yeah, no, there's definitely a break in that. Just make sure the expires for about four weeks, would you? Yeah, that's a good point, actually. Cheers, pokes. Here she are. The Hauraki Big Show with Jace, Mike and Kesey. Tune in weekdays at four on Radio Hauraki.

12:35Keyzie:It's chilled me right out, fellas. You loved that song, eh? Landslide by Smashing Pumpkins. Just for everyone listening, picture Hoity J with his headphones on, rocking back on his chair, just noodling away at an air guitar. And sticking his lips out. And pretending to sing and stuff, yeah. Sounds hot. Hey, speaking of which, let's talk TV. What's on the telly with Mike Minogue?

13:01Jase:Yeah, fellas. Over the weekend, well actually yesterday, I watched a documentary that I've been really looking forward to. Number one, I like the docos that they have on Netflix, but I can't watch them when the wife is around because she's not interested. She doesn't like docos? Not those kind of docos, no. They're just sort of, you know, they're not good at all. They're just garbage. Yeah. And usually they're about things that she's not interested in that I want to watch. So in this case, I got to watch the one about the biggest loser, which was the TV show back in the day. I watched the first episode of that as well.

13:34Jase:Which is, I loved that show back in the day. Yes. Because I always had a theory about it. So just go to the gym, man. It's all good. That was my theory. It's not easy to do when you've got lifestyle issues that get in the way of that. But this is effectively a show back in the day where, I would say, morbidly obese human beings would go to what they called the farm or the ranch. I think it was, and they would have a competition to lose the most amount of weight. And they would jump on scales at the end of each episode, and whoever had lost the least amount of weight put themselves, I think if you were bottom two, then you could be voted off by your teammates.

14:10Jase:Yes. And you had people losing 200, 250 pounds in the space of God knows what. So it was a great show because it changed people's lives. The doco, however, is complete shit and just unwatchable. I was really looking forward to seeing what they were doing behind the scenes, if they were taking drugs, how they were cheating and all that sort of stuff. But all they do over the course of three episodes, I got halfway through that first episode, Keys, and I skipped it. I was like, get on with it. Yeah, yeah. They seem to just tell you, if you've seen the show, they're just telling you that they made the show and that there were people on it and that the people lost weight and then the people put the weight back on.

14:46Jase:It's like, well, it's completely uninteresting. My wife chose, well, on Netflix it is, it's three episodes. My wife chose it. She's like, let's watch this. I used to love the show. I think she used to love it anyway. I loved it. We watched one episode and both of us were like, well, that's enough of that. We don't care anymore. Exactly right. It's just nothing. You're telling you something you already know over three hours. Yes. One hour is plenty. And even me skipping through the episodes, there was nothing of interest. Yeah. How many busies out of five? Zero.

15:13Keyzie:Wow. We too were into that show. And I recall actually a little while back, a few years ago, there was fallout from it in terms of people kind of losing their shit afterwards and falling apart and putting the weight back on and stuff. So I won't watch it then. Thanks for saving me. And that's what we're here for, Jase. That's what it's all about, what's on the TV. I went to the movies with my wife on Saturday night and we watched The Roses. What's that? It's based on a novel by an author called Warren Adler who wrote the story War of the Roses in 1991. There was a movie actually made.

15:50Jase:That was Michael Douglas, Kathleen Turner and Danny DeVito, directed by Danny DeVito.

15:55Keyzie:Oh, I didn't know that. Yes. Okay. Very good movie, actually. And it's basically about the disintegration of a marriage, how you can grow apart. And it sounds like it's all serious, but it's actually more of a comedy-type scenario where you grow distant from each other. You become—and you get into a point where you're at loggerheads, and it just gets more and more violent and stupid. Yeah, right. where they're fighting against each other to get the house, to get all that sort of stuff, when underneath it all, is that what they really want? Yeah. And how was it, the movie? The movie with Cumberbatch, Olivia Colman, both great actors.

16:33Keyzie:Look, it had its moments. I had a few chuckles. But it was kind of okay. Yeah. It didn't blow my eyes. In fact, my wife kept apologising to me throughout the movie, saying, I'm so sorry, I'm so sorry, because she thought I was hating it. What I was hating was the old ladies behind me thinking this was some sort of social outing where they could have a conversation and chat the whole way through it. I'll give it 2.9 buzzies. Out of five. Is that a recommend? Look, 2.5 is average. I would say... No, three is a recommend. Okay, three awards?

17:06Jase:Anything under three is don't bother.

17:08Keyzie:If you're sitting at home and it's on Netflix, certainly. Yes. But going out to the movies, not so much. I actually got a message today from TVNZ being like, let old Mogey know that there's a 24-hour Seinfeld channel now on TVNZ.

17:21Jase:Is there really? Well, I've got about two episodes to go of the whole lot, so I guess I could start again tomorrow. Yeah, just start again, man. Oh, please do. That's what this segment needs. You simply must. Who cares what I watched? I'll talk about that tomorrow. Coming up after five, though, fellas, a huge, huge announcement from the big show, and it is a competition. It's not like one of us is leaving. No, no, no. Well. No. The Hauraki Big Show with Jace, Mike and Keezy. Tune in weekdays at four on Radio Hauraki.

17:53Keyzie:Welcome back, you massive backbones. Hope you're surviving your Monday afternoon. You're listening to The Big Show, brought to you by Reburger. Handcrafted burgers, loaded fries and gourmet eats. That'll change the game. Reburger. Now, you fellas both had big weekends. I'm picking that you had a bit of Reburger action, surely. Nah. Fellas? Nah. Fellas. I'd already had such a big weekend. I didn't want it to be too big. Yeah. Like then having a re-burger. Right, okay. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Why did you have it? Yeah, I had it yesterday. Oh, yeah, what did you get? It's none of your beeswax, Casey. No, come on, people want to know.

18:25Keyzie:Come on, man, you want to sell it. Oh, I can never remember what it's called, but the fries are excellent.

18:30Jase:Did you dine in? No, I took away. Oh, bugger it. Because, of course, the sauce chickens.

18:35Keyzie:Yeah, yeah, I know. They've introduced them into every shop. It's great stuff. Hey, just quickly, fellas, we've got a massive announcement coming up. Yes. that we're going to be running here on Hodaki. But also, prior to talking about telly, we were choosing a new end of show song, which we've now locked in. We've also got another song here that Pugs has put forward. Yeah. And this is sort of a song to play whenever Jase is telling a yarn. So we'll just vote for which one of these two we want. Oh my God, what's that from? So you're telling a yarn, right? Maybe it's about going to the batch and not having any food.

19:13Jase:Yeah. Oh, yeah, okay, one of his famous Hoody J yarns. Yeah, yeah, yeah. What is that from, though? So it's obviously struck a chord with you. You quite like it. There we go. Okay, so that's the first option, or this is the second option for Jase telling a yarn.

19:32I quite like that one.

19:33Keyzie:I like that one. Yeah, so every time I talk, let's play that one.

19:36Jase:The problem with it is it spices your stories up too much. Yeah, right. It's going to make them seem better than they are. Yeah. You hear that music, you're like, man, this story's the best thing I've ever heard. But it's the music. Yeah, you're right. It's very fairground-y, isn't it? Yeah, so I mean, the reference there is that you're a clown. Yeah, yeah.

19:54Keyzie:It's interesting that Pugs made those, actually.

19:57Jase:Yeah, he made them. Yeah, he's been making them.

20:00Keyzie:That he felt the need to put them out there. Hey, but listen, Keezy's right, coming up, a massive, massive announcement, so stay tuned. I am fizzing for this. The Hauraki Big Show. Weekdays from four on Radio Hauraki. Def Leppard there on the Radio Hauraki. Big show this Monday afternoon, but right now it's breaking news.

20:25This is breaking news. See what you did there? You said it was breaking news and then we played the breaking news. Yeah. Well, it is. It's double breaking news. It is. It's a double whammy, Kesey. It's huge. It's exciting. It's a brand new competition. We are running here on Radio Hauraki. Hang on a minute. How come you get to say it?

20:43Jase:Oh. We didn't talk about who got to say it. Sorry, I just assumed because you guys always refuse to learn. Okay, well, you can do this one, but the next time we do an awesome competition, then it's either me or Jason gets to say it or Pugs. Okay, well, how about if I do this one? Yeah. You guys can share the next one. Wow.

21:01Keyzie:How about you do this one and Mogi can do the next one? I'm all G over here. You're good? Okay. Are you sure? Yeah, yeah. Clip that off, Pugs. Because you seem upset. Anyway, the huge announcement is that we have a great competition. And if you are into sandy beaches, listen this way. Keep your ears peeled.

21:23Jase:This is why. You should have done this one, Maggie. Both those sayings are incorrect. But we have an exciting new competition. If you are interested in getting yourself in the drawer, the number is 0800 Hauraki. Here it is. The Big Show Swingers Club is back. And this time, it's going global. We're heading to Fiji, fellas. Yeah! Oh, God! Bula, bula, bula. The big show. The Bula Vinaka. The Bula Boys. Yeah, yeah. The big show is heading over to Fiji. It is the Hauraki Swingers Club. Man. Which, of course, is golf.

21:58Keyzie:Well, we'll see how it plays out.

21:59Jase:Yeah, man. Get a couple of pina coladas in your kesey. Who knows what's going to happen, brother? Beautiful tropical getaway. Yeah. Bit of lovemaking on the beach. You know, a little bit relaxed, a little bit of a massage, a little bit of coconut oil. Yeah, totally. Coconut oil. What's coconut oil? Bit of sand in the foreskin. Cool. Fiji will be stoked. Tourism Fiji will be stoked to have that as part of the big announcement there. But myself, Mogi, Hoity J, and old Pug San, we are heading away via Fiji Airways to the intercontinental Fiji Golf Resort and Spa, where white sandy beaches meet world-class hospitality fellas, and we're Fiji's championship golf course designed by Vijay Singh.

22:38Yeah. I'm fessing. Chase is so quite up for this. I am so excited. Yeah, yeah. Basically, it's for a long weekend of fun, swinging the old clubs, have a few pina coladas at one of the nicest resorts I've ever seen in Fiji. It's amazing. With the fellas. With the fellas. We'll be there. We will be there. If you are keen to join us, give us a call now on 0800 HODAKI. You and a mate can come along. And it's just going to be amazing.

23:04Jase:I am absolutely frothing for this competition. and it's easily the best one we've done. God knows, four years in the making, it's taken us a while to get it. I mean, look, we've been to Hokitika, we've been to New Plymouth, we've been to Wellington, we've been to Rotorua. Magic round? Now we get to go somewhere sick, Fiji. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I am keen to. And if you want to see Jason Toggs as well, things like that. Oh, my God, yeah. Speedos.

23:24Keyzie:I'll be wearing my island slacks. Sick. G'day, Victoria. How's life? Life's pretty, pretty beachy. How about you guys? Yeah, very good, thanks, Victoria. Victoria, you say you'd like a bit of beach action, would you? I'd love a bit of beach action. And who would you take with you? My husband. We're well over to a holiday. Leave the kids behind, and I think this little pina colliders sounds pretty good to me.

23:50Jase:Well, I just want to point out that we've ruled out any children being allowed to come, they have to stay home. So they're banned. So you've got the excuse if you need it, you'd love to bring them, but you can't. It's not a holiday if they come. Exactly. Awesome, Victoria. Well, you are officially our first person in the draw for the Big Show Swingers Club. Congratulations. I think we can do one more, Jase, if you want. Yeah, sure, man.

24:12Keyzie:You fellas want to pick? Yeah, sure. G'day, Rowan. How you going, man? Yeah, good, fellas. Yeah, good on you. What do you do for a crust, Rowan? Oh, educator.

24:25Jase:Oh, yeah. There's something going on there. That's a weird way of framing it. Yeah, but that's all G. We'll find out all about it in Fiji, maybe. Rowan, do you like Fiji, man? I love BG. I've been there once about 20 years ago. It's fantastic. Oh, mate. It's exactly the same. And look, it's an amazing place. And you've got to try and go every year, Rowan. You simply must.

24:46Keyzie:You simply must. And I see you're in Dunedin there, Rowan, and it just pisses down and it's freezing there. So a bit of heat, a bit of sun, a bit of golf maybe, a bit of swimming, a bit of eating. Sounds good.

24:58Jase:Oh, sounds bloody good. Who would you bring, your mad dog? Oh, well, I wouldn't be on a return home if I took anyone but my wife. Yeah, get on you, mate. So maybe my way at Will. Yeah, right. Yeah, right. You should be stoked if you take Will. Yeah, yeah, Will. He's a good bastard. All right, Rowan, you're in the draw as well, mate. You hold the line and pugs on all the details, all right?

25:19Keyzie:No, seriously, fellas. How good is this going to be? It's going to be fantastic.

25:24Jase:And the phone lines have absolutely lit up. People are keen as. I'm assuming they can only get in via the big show. so you're just going to have to wait until tomorrow Arvo. There might be a few chances in other shows as well. But the key is to listen to Radio Hodaki. When you hear a queue to call, there will be a queue to call from now on. You just call straight away on 0800 Hodaki. We'll chuck a bunch of people in the draw every single time. It's the Hodaki Swingers Club Fiji edition with Tourism Fiji, fellas. Good stuff, mate. Hey, there's Hole. The Hodaki Big Show with Jace, Mike and Keezy.

25:55Tune in weekdays at 4 on Radio Hodaki. You're on the Big Show. Cold War Kids there first. this Monday. The reason I am talking is because Jase wasn't ready. No, Jase

26:05Jase:was sort of trawling filth on Instagram. Yeah, he was. He was lost in it.

26:09Keyzie:Well, if you guys would stop sending me filth on your Instagram account so that you... I know what you're trying to do here fellas and it's not going to work. Nice. Hey, flat meeting! Show meeting! Show meeting! Show me the meeting! Show meeting is now in progress.

26:30Jase:And the reason why we're having this show meeting, Pugs, is so that you can change that opening sting to flat meeting, because Jase has changed the name of it. It's now flat meeting. Alright, sweet man, I'll get on to it.

26:42Keyzie:Sorry fellas, I was just a bit flustered by all the buzzy. Well, if you just paid attention to your job, Jase. Well, it's very hard when you're sending that kind of stuff through. I haven't said anything. Anyway, show meeting, sorry, flat meeting. The reason we've got Pugs in here is because a little behind the scenes action. We won a little internal work competition, which is very exciting. Our show won it. And as a result, we have a$250 voucher to spend at a restaurant just by work over here, right? Yes. Now, sure, I wish that restaurant was Reburger. It's not. That's why from here on out, it'll just be known as the restaurant.

27:17Sure. $250 voucher. That is enough. You know, a meal there, it's a cheapish place. A meal there is 30 bucks each. Yeah. My suggestion was in the group chat that we take the whole Hauraki team out for lunch. That was my suggestion. Yes. Jase, you instantly had a problem with that.

27:35Keyzie:Yes, I did. Why is that? Well, I'm not giving those losers anything, as I said in the chat. I think we divvy it up amongst ourselves. I don't even want to go with you lot. Just give me my share of it so I can go and cash it in. Once you get cashed. And have some free lunches.

27:53Jase:Yeah,$62.50 each.

27:55Keyzie:What sort of happy outfit are we running here? Oh, Kesey. Oh, let's take the whole team out. Bullshit. I'm not having it.

28:04Jase:I guess the question becomes, you know, if you're going to share it with everyone, what's the point of winning?

28:08Keyzie:Exactly. You're right. We won it, Kesey. Not those losers in the office. Well. It was like, I'd argue that, you know, they equally contributed to this. In fact, I bet you don't even know how we won it.

28:20Jase:Yes, I do know how we won it, actually. Somebody made the error of putting it in the chat, so Jase knows how we want it. That's my bad. I just assumed he would have been on Instagram looking at Buzzi's when we were talking about that. But you're with me, Mogie. You must be with me. What's my feeling on it? Look, I certainly see your side here. I mean, my point of view is kind of, you know, you're going to water down the prize so much that everyone becomes a loser. You know, you're going to share it with everybody out in the office so everybody can only have a measly amount. instead of just four of us just having a substantial victory.

28:57Jase:And how often do we get to have a victory, guys? Fellas? Never. Never, exactly. Yeah, we're massive losers. So isn't it about time that we sort of reveled in the spoils of war, as it were, and just had for once, for once, just have a goddamn treat for ourselves? I mean, we've got a dinner coming up shortly that we're meant to be having with our wives. This could pay for the whole thing.

29:17Keyzie:And what would be wrong with that? I'm totally with Mogi on that. I don't want some piece of filth from the office fiddling with my fries. You know what I mean? I want my own fries. You can get your own fries, Jase. Yeah, but there's someone, if we're all there, people will just, you know, all it's and share and stuff. Okay, so what if we got you your own little bowl of fries, which would be about$4, wouldn't it? No, I want my share individually.

29:43Jase:Pugs, what do you think? Man, you did the lion's share of the work. Oh, you did 100 % of the work, and in fact, we did nothing. Yeah, yeah. Well, thanks, fellas. I guess there's that side to it as well. Well, no. Obviously, I want to share it with you fellas. I mean, I'm... Oh, no, we were trying to decide whether you should have any.

29:57Keyzie:Oh, I think that's actually... Because it's the big show. Right, right. Oh, I was going to say... Right, right. No, no, no. Sorry, Jase. Just sit on that for a minute, man. The big show with Jase Wyke and Kesey. Yeah. You're very right. You're very right. I mean, in the email...

30:12Jase:And insert producer here. Yeah, that's true. Actually, in the email, it says the winner is the big show, and then in brackets, James Pugsley. Yeah, right.

30:20Keyzie:So you're not an on-air talent. So whatever you say, it's got to have an asterisk. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Oh, okay, yeah. But Pugs, what's your view on this? What do you think? I honestly, when you said share it with the team, I did think you meant just us four as the winners, as the big show at James Pugsley. Well, it's not just food, Casey. I think you've got to keep that in mind. There's beverages to be had. Oh, you want to get pissed up? No, no, no, like a little soda or something.

30:45Jase:They don't have beverages down there.

30:47Keyzie:And can I just say, it doesn't have to be one. Thank you. Keezy, we could go a couple of times.

30:53Jase:How often are we looking for a snack in here, Keezy? We're thinking to ourselves, jeez, I'm hungry, I could go for a snack. Or just pop down, spend 70 or 80 bucks to do. Totally, man. Chase gets a bowl of fries nobody else can touch.

31:05Keyzie:And it's not like you don't like your free piss. I'm shocked that you even put it out there. It's just that I know the people in the office do a lot of work and they don't often get there.

31:15Jase:Oh, that's right. And it's up to them to negotiate their contract whenever that comes up. and I would hate to minimise what they do around here by throwing them little pieces of chicken and chips. You know what I'm saying? Right, so I'm the bad guy. Yeah. It's patronising. It is patronising. You're sort of saying to them, oh, you guys do a lot of work. Here you go. Here's some chips. They don't want your chips, man. And, Kesey, without tooting my own horn, man, it's kind of just throwing it in my face. Tooting your own what? Tooting my own horn.

31:41Keyzie:Okay, good. As opposed to what? And all that's going to happen is you're going to get even more of a strut on, Keezy, than you already have when you walk in the office, it's like, big shot Keezy, shouting the team, you know, a free lunch. Chips, old honched up. You know what I mean? Yeah. It's disgusting. Nice. Sorry, fellas, my bad. I thought I was looking after the team, but it turns out that doing that was actually a big A-hole. That's right.

32:07Jase:Can I say that charity begins at home? All right? So we should, first of all, we should share it amongst ourselves, and if there's any crumbs left over, we can give it to the filth. You mean the office workers? Yeah. The Hauraki Big Show with Jace, Mike and Kesey. Tune in weekdays at four on Radio Hauraki.

32:25Keyzie:Aerosmith there on the Radio Hauraki Big Show this Monday afternoon. Now, a bit of rugby league action over the weekend. Let's talk to our old mate, Charlie Gubb. G'day, Charlie. How's life? Yeah, life's good, brother. Cups a bit empty, but back on air with my frigging brothers. Can I ask you a question, man?

32:44Jase:How are we going on the baby watch? Nah, baby's out. Yeah! Congratulations, mate. Good stuff, mate. What are we going with, brother? We got a name? Yeah, Grace. Grace. Oh, yeah. That's how we do it, man. Nice. That's good stuff. Is it a boy or a girl? A boy. Nah, she's a girl. Nice. What date was she born, man? I'm not sure on the date, but Wednesday. Oh, yeah. At 28th, my missus's sister had another kid. So there you go. I don't know if they're related. Nah. Oh, well, they could be. Hopefully they don't have the same dad, right?

33:25Keyzie:Hey, well, congratulations, Gubbie. That's great news, mate. Now, getting to the game. We were always chasing our tail, it seemed to me. A disappointing loss. Definitely a disappointing loss. I personally thought we played pretty good. but just a couple of those early on tries from the Eels, you know, we were putting attacking kicks, either going to score ourselves or get a repeat set but they got out and pretty much went the length of the field twice. And then all those other times, you know, Mitch Moses, he's just got a mega boot on him and he kind of kicked us to death a bit. I thought the effort was there but we're just missing a bit of class at the moment.

34:09Jase:Yeah, and we're playing, it feels like our attacking options are just super, super safe. And once we got down to 20, it was blew out to 20-4 or whatever it was, we decided to have a crack and lo and behold, we actually managed to get some points. It just feels like we're too reserved in attack at the moment. Building good pressure, but then, yeah, nothing sort of comes of it. Yeah, yeah, we are definitely, well, from watching on TV, we're missing a bit of strike, eh, Mogie? But I don't know, it's just, I don't know where it's going to come from. You know, Pompey's playing well, Roger's playing well, but we're missing that real slick killer in the backs.

34:43It's hard, you know, it's been a long season and we've had a lot of long injuries, but I don't know, we've just got to hope we can put in our best performance when it counts in the finals. We are, of course, discussing the WARS going down to the Eels 26-22 over the weekend. Charlie Gubb, when you look at other teams that are going to be in the finals race there, You've got the Penrith Panthers who rested an historic 16 or 17 players, their entire starting team bar one bloke. Melbourne managed to rest quite a few of their blokes as well. And I know the Raiders, who are top of the table, their coach Ricky has gone on record saying he's resting blokes this week as well.

35:22The Wars can't really afford to do that, can they? Because we've come so far, we've had all these injuries and we're just sort of limping to the finish line. In a situation like this at this point in the season, how knackered are you? Are you absolutely gassed? I do reckon that they will be gassed because there's been so many injuries. They've been forced to play people longer minutes and not give them a rest here and there. Pretty much all the young boys have played every game. And then you've got guys like Jackson Ford will be coming back from suspension. He would have had his rest. But everyone else has just been maxing out minutes.

35:59So I think they will be... When I say gassed, I mean their body is just recovering slow. it's harder to warm up for every training, but they'll definitely be able to get up for the finals. Yeah, right. We've got a tough one this coming week as well. Hey, Mo, you're going to Manly. Taking on the Sea Eagles, Daly Cherry Evans will be his final game. He's been a stalwart of the Sea Eagles. He's played, I think, 350-plus games, and this is his last ever game at that club at their home ground. Sadly, they hate him now. Yeah, well, unfortunately, yeah. But are you worried about this game, Charlie, like I am?

36:33Yeah, I am worried because they do have a lot of strike and they've got nothing to lose. They can't make the finals themselves. They're tough to beat at home, Manly.

36:43Jase:I'm just having a look at the ladder now, and what's interesting is we're currently sitting in sixth position on 34 points, equal with the Sharks. Below us in seventh, the Panthers on 31. So even if they win, they can't catch us. Even if we win and the Sharks lose, there's a chance, but points differential, we're so far behind. We actually could rest people this weekend. Yeah, we should. And finish in exactly the same position. So it'd be good for us to go in there with a 60-point hiding to our names. Yeah, but I think there is a scenario where, what, the Bronx and the Sharks lose, we win, we're top four again.

37:21Jase:Yeah, that's right. So, I mean, the Broncos are playing the Storm and the Sharks have a tough game too. Yeah, right. So it's more than feasible that, but it's going to be tough for us to beat Manly at home. I don't know. I think you've just got to go on and try and win and build some confidence. Bit of luck, brother. Yeah. Well, it is the final regular season game for the WARS, so we'll all be there watching. That game is being played this Friday, 8 p.m. here in New Zealand. Charlie, before we let you go, who is your Portaking player of the round? Man, you know what? I'm having a bit of a mind blank, so I want the hard-fired 40-J to pick it.

38:00Jase:Oh, well, just before you do, Jase, can I just suggest Roger Tuovasa-Shek carried that team on his back?

38:07Keyzie:Well, can I make a suggestion too? I just don't know his name. He scored the try when he went up in the goal line. I thought he...

38:13Jase:Mecca Halasima.

38:14Keyzie:Halasima, because he's been a bit out of form. It looked like he was getting back to his best again. I thought he was in great form. Well, no, the last couple of games he's been pretty quiet. What do you think of that, Charlie? No, I reckon that's a great call. He probably has been quiet for himself. Don't you dare play music over the top. We've got to go, Charlie. The song's about to start. We'll see you next week, mate. See you, fellas. See you, mate. The Hauraki Big Show with Jace, Mike and Kesey. Tune in weekdays at four on Radio Hauraki. Yes, indeed. Radiohead there on the Radio Hauraki Big Show this Monday afternoon.

38:50Keyzie:The time is 5.54. Now, heaps coming up after six o 'clock. We're going to be talking to Sean Withey, fellas, who was captain of the Southland rugby side, who, of course, claimed back the Ranfurley Shield from Waikato. Also, a bit of advice on MeetPattyNip69. That's right. That is a real email address, by the way, meetpattynip69 at gmail.com. Get in touch if you're keen to win yourself a$50 Reburger voucher. Also, fellas, some big news. The Big Show has teamed up once again with Trade Tested. Oh, how good. The competition was from last year. We're redoing it. It's called Big Deck Energy. And every single Friday this month, we're giving away$2 ,500 worth of trade-tested products to one lucky listener.

39:34That's every Friday this month. Wow. It's a huge amount of kit. You can go to tradetested.co.nz, have a look around there, figure out what you'd want, make it add up to roughly$2 ,500. And basically, I think last year, Last year, one of the winners got, I think,$2 ,499.73. Yeah, that's right. Down to the last cent. Yeah, that's right. It was out the gate. So go have a look at tradetested.co.nz, put together a little shopping list there up to$2 ,500, and then go to hodaki.co.nz and enter the competition every Friday this month. How good, man. Yeah, it is worth it. Can I do that? It's all thanks to Trade Tested.

40:12Make your deck great with Trade Tested. Jason, no, you cannot.

40:18The Hauraki Big Show with Jace, Mike and Keezy. Tune in weekdays at four on Radio Hauraki.

40:24Keyzie:Welcome back, you massive backbones. Hope you're surviving your Monday night. You're listening to The Big Show, brought to you by Reburger. Serving good times and good food. Dine in or takeaway at Reburger today. Yum. It is. It is yum. It's as simple as that. Yeah, it is. Hey, now, coming up, by the way, fellas, I'm going to be talking to Sean Withey, captain of the Southland rugby side. Did any of you guys watch that match? Of course, man. I watched it twice. Oh, did you? Okay, good. Actually, I've gone to a stag this weekend, a stag do. Southland stags. How funny is that? But all the fellas in the stag chat were like, oh, how good is this?

41:01Now we can watch our stag challenge this weekend because they're all Canterbury supporters. Oh, right. And I was like, oh, God, I don't want Canterbury to take it off Southland. It's the last people I want to have it.

41:10Jase:No, exactly. Yeah. Exactly. Yeah, well, you should do a streak, Kesey. Are you going to go to the game? No. No. Because it's in Southland. Oh, right, okay. Yeah, you could go, though. I don't know where your stag is. Christchurch. Oh, yeah, it's too far. Yeah, yeah, yeah. You could do a streak in the lounge. Well, I could streak from the stag area down to Christchurch. To Southland. And then back. Yes. And then try not to die of hypothermia. No, that's a good idea. Is that a good idea, Jase?

41:35Keyzie:Yeah, I just think you're putting yourself out there a little bit too much when you go away for these weekends. What do you mean? Well, it's just you're getting naked, you're having spas, and you know what I mean? Where did I have a spa? Well, that dude, remember? That was four years ago, Jase.

41:53Jase:Never forget, man. You made it up.

41:56Keyzie:Look, as the sting says, you like other dudes and that's all good, but I just maybe pull it back a bit. That's all I'm saying. Pull what back a bit? Hey, coming up next, Sean Withy, captain of the Southland Stags. Hopefully Pugs is trying to get his number. Yeah. Hopefully he doesn't, you know, stitch us up. The Hodaki Big Show with Jace, Mike and Kesey. Tune in weekdays at four on Radio Hodaki. Yes indeed, Tom Petty there. And the Heartbreakers on the Radio Hodaki Big Show this Monday evening. Now I tell you what, fellas, there was a bit of rugby action over the weekend. I'm loving the MPC, by the way.

42:35Keyzie:It's my favourite, even more than the All Blacks, fellas. Yeah, I enjoy it more than the All Blacks too, at the moment, absolutely. Far more exciting. And there was a massive game over the weekend, Southland v Waikato, for the great, the famous Ranfurley Shield. And what, well, I guess you could call it a bit of an upset because Waikato were probably the favourites, but it wasn't to be. Now, we've got Sean Withey, who is the captain of Southland, on the phone with us. And, Sean, has the party stopped yet? We're just warming back up. Just landed in Invercargill back in the big smoke not long ago and, yeah, just warmed back up at Dale House now.

43:15Jase:You bloody beauty, mate. How good. How good, man. What a time to be alive, Sean. Of course, you know, unless I'm mistaken, your first time wearing the captain's armband, your first time being captain, and you've won yourself the Ramfley Shield. Time to retire? Yeah, I think I said during the week, I said, if I don't win anything else in New Zealand rugby but I win the Ranfley Shield, mate, I can retire happy so nah, it's pretty special pretty work at 24 hours, that's for sure It's absolutely amazing, mate because we keep on having the MPC competition it is great, but it's changing year on year it's this, it's that, it's the other the Ranfley Shield has always been the Ranfley Shield and I think that's part of the reason why people love it so much it also means that any team can win it in any division at all people froth the Ranfley Shield and I think they'd rather hold the shield than they would win the championship.

44:09Yeah, maybe. I think Southambeck in the day when they had it in 2010, they'd send a bit of a B squad away to the away games and just make sure we defended it with death at home. So, yeah, on Saturday we'll be defending it to the best.

44:25Keyzie:Good on you, you backbone. Tell me, Sean, what kind of reception did you receive getting home? Mate, I reckon there was about 300 people at the airport. We got pipe in by the pipe in. Mate, it was wicked.

44:38Jase:Now, there's a little bit of advice around the Ramfilly Shield. Obviously, you're having to go home, and the very next game you're playing against Canterbury, the Titans Canterbury. Whatever. There's a bit of advice about what you do with the Shield, and that is that during the week, you put as much DNA on it as you possibly can. Do you subscribe to that down at the Stags, mate, given you might be able to hand it over? You don't want to imagine that you will, but if you did. Make sure we're covered in DNA, eh? 100 % man What's up Dan How are we talking Oh well you can use Your imagination man That's entirely up to you But look I know that You know previous holders Of the Shields Have used it for all sorts Unless I'm mistaken Hawke's Bay They had a great time Yeah they had a bloody Ripper of a time With the Shield last year I think it was I think they broke it in half And a bit of wood plaster Was only to patch it up Yeah beautiful

45:24Keyzie:Yeah yeah yeah Just on the game Sean I loved watching it It seemed to me And it's a very basic way Of breaking the game down But you fellas just seemed to want it more. And even after the match, the Waikato players were saying they were hungrier, they wanted it more, and they deserved it. Yeah, I guess that's sort of how it felt. You know, we're hungry. We talked a lot about it during the week, what it means for our province and our people down here. We have the best fans in the country. And, yeah, I think we just wanted it a lot more. And we're hungry in those extra areas. And that's why we came up with the result, I think.

45:59Yeah, man, I'm hungry too. G'day, Sean. Keezy here. captain of the Ranfury Shield winning Southland Stags on the line with us right now. What do you do for a crust, man? What do I do for a crust? Yeah. Play rugby. Oh, yeah. Man, that's sick, man. Hell yeah. Do you think there should be a Ranfury Sword? Oh, well, it's not a bad idea. If you can float it, it might not have the history behind the Ranfury Shield, but we'll have the Harriky Big Show back and we could get a go on that. Oh, yeah, totally.

46:32Jase:So what's the plan this evening and for the rest of the week, mate? I assume at some point you've got to get out on the training paddock. Is it going to be a pretty solid few days of a few responsible brews? Yeah, a few responsible brews tonight, I think. Plenty of family and friends and supporters down at the moment. So I think we'll tuck in tonight and then get back onto the training field maybe late afternoon tomorrow and see how we go.

46:56Keyzie:Have a bit of a spew on the sideline. A bit of a chunder there. And then smack back into it, Sean. Yeah, exactly. That's the plan, I think. Hey, congratulations, man. That must be an absolute buzz for you guys. And I reckon you're going to absolutely de-doosh Canterbury. No worries at all. Yeah, I think I might use that during the week, eh? That can be our mindset. De-doosh, de-doosh, de-doosh. Yeah, backbone. My wife, thanks for chatting to us, Sean. Legend, fellas. Big fan of the show. Good on you, mate.

47:29Jase:Cheers, brother. The Hauraki Big Show. Weekdays from four on Radio Hauraki.

47:34Keyzie:Arctic Monkeys there on the Radio Hauraki Big Show this Monday evening. Now, we've been running a competition, Crank Your Hog, where you send in pics of your vehicle, and you let us know here on The Big Show what you want done with it, how you want it souped up, fellas.

47:49Jase:That's right, just a little bit of an adjustment made to them. You know, sometimes you've got a car that's absolutely sick, but you think to yourself, man, I wish it was sicker. Yeah. I wish I had some fluffy dice, for example.

48:00Keyzie:Some flames down the side of it, maybe. Thank you. You know what I mean?

48:04Jase:One of those seat covers, it's all the wooden beads. Oh, how good. You know? Yeah, man. I can picture you with one of those, Jase. Actually, that'd be really good. I'd like one of those. And one of those, like, doorknob things on your steering wheel.

48:15Keyzie:Yes, for reversing. They're so good. Oh, that would be so good. Those actually rule to drive with. I think they're illegal, though. Are they really?

48:23Jase:And what about one of those stickers on your back window that says, honk if you're horny? Oh, yeah. I already got one of those. Hey, if you have a car or a bike that you want done up slightly, head to hodaki.co.nz, send us a photo, and you can win some cash to put towards making that happen thanks to Panhead and the new Roadhog NZIPA. We've actually got quite a few entries through for this, fellas. Yes, we have.

48:44Keyzie:And no dick pics. No, actually, that was the interesting thing. I was like, how many dick pics have we been sent? Yes. And the fellas were like, no, none.

48:51Jase:Watch this number skyrocket over the coming weeks. That's good stuff. Yeah, well, that's what I was having to encourage. On the bright side, we don't have to look at them, do we? No, it'll be the fellas in the office. Don't have to, but we get to. Yeah, we get to. Joseph in Lower Hutt, my lovely 82 Mitsubishi Sigma, needs rust repairs, paint, and interior work to get a WAF. Yeah. It was assembled at Todd Motors in Porirua 43 years ago. It's a piece of Kiwi automotive history at a very rare site on NZ Roads. There's a photo here. It is an absolute piece of shit. I love it. They've got the Toyota factory that used to run out those ways out in Porirua.

49:26Jase:employed thousands out there, Kesey. That sounds bloody good. What does he need, a little bit of rust? Yeah, rust, interior work. It'll mostly be rust if it's stopping it from getting a waft.

49:36Keyzie:Rightly or wrongly, I've always heard you can't go wrong with a Toyota.

49:41Jase:The other thing that I remember is Toyota Cares. Toyota Cares, yes. They used to do an advertising thing back in the day. I still remember having the stickers when I was about eight. They were running that. Toyota Cares. I'm not sure if they do, but they said they did. Yeah, totally. The only one I remember is this weird one with this ute and this weird-looking bastard driving it. Nah, he was in the back seat. Oh, was he? Oh, right. Oh, do you know the one I'm talking about? What was the name of that one again? Toyota. Yeah. Hilux. Yeah. Yeah, that was it. Wasn't it like a campaign or something?

50:12Jase:Yeah, that's right, it was. What was it? Hokey Pokey. Hokey Pokey, yeah. Just Google that. Google that, man. So this is the kind of thing I like, because he said here, I'd love to throw a sleeping bag in the back, do summer roadies, or load it up with panhead for the fellas. because P.S. it has a Hauraki sticker on the back window already. Wow. So that's a great entry there from Joseph from Lower Hutt. If you've got a similar vehicle that needs attention, hauraki.co.nz, send us some pics, tell us about it, and you could win some work done thanks to our mates at Panhead and the new Roadhog NZ IPA.

50:42It's an old-school IPA built with new-school hops. Crack into one now. Get it in, you guys.

50:47Jase:Yeah, beautiful. The Hauraki Big Show with Jace, Mike, and Keezy. Tune in weekdays at 4 on Radio Hauraki.

50:54Keyzie:Talking Heads here on the Radio Hauraki Big Show this Monday evening. Let's give out some advice. Me, Patty, Ned, 69.

51:06Get in touch with the fellas. It's a real email address. We want your emails. We will give out advice. It's 100 % anonymous. And if we read it out, you get yourself a$50 Reburger voucher. Great stuff. Fellas, while I was away and Pugsan was filling in, you guys had some correspondence from a bloke called Anonymous. Yes.

51:24Jase:That sounds familiar. Yeah, yeah. Basically, he was doing an upcoming Euro honeymoon. They had agreed on all parts of the trip, except for there was four days in London at the very end where he wanted to visit his mates who were over there and have a massive night, and she wanted them to go visit her half-blind, deaf, 102-year-old great aunt and both take the train out to there instead. Yeah. He's actually emailed through saying, hey, Mike requested an update on the situation. He's got through. So would you like to hear it? Yes, please. G'day, guys. Mike mentioned it'd be keen to hear an update on what eventuated from the Mexican standoff between my wife and I.

52:02That's racist. You can't say that, Chase, just FYI. Pleased to say that we did come to a compromise, albeit a slightly different one than the fellas suggested. Instead of going our separate ways, for me to get on the rack with the boys while the wife and daughter went out to visit the great aunt for three days, we cut the visit down to a day trip and I got my exuberant evening out in Hackney. Right. So just a day trip to visit the great aunt, which is all you need. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Unfortunately, that was enough.

52:29Keyzie:Yeah, well, I was going to say the great thing about that is she won't remember anyway. Well, she didn't know. Whether it was a day, two days, three days. It could be ten days she wouldn't remember.

52:35Jase:As far as she's concerned, they never turned up at all. Exactly. Because if the description, if I'm remembering correctly, she didn't know which way was up. Yeah, right, yeah. So three days out there is ridiculous. I mean, you could have, you know, honestly, from the sounds of it, you could have, you know, drawn her face on a balloon and sort of stuck that on a broomstick and leant it up against a chair and she would have been just as happy. She would have been stoked.

53:00Keyzie:You could have actually not done it at all and then rung her a couple of days later and say, hey, we really enjoyed that. It was lovely to see you.

53:06Jase:Just gaslight her.

53:07Keyzie:Yeah, just massively gaslight.

53:09Jase:How would you stick the balloon to the broomstick? With a bit of tape because it's got that little bit of rubber joint and it hangs down the bottom and then round and round she goes. I mean, it's been done a million times. It's a tale as old as time, Gizzy. everybody does it. But yeah, you could have done that there, but of course it's hard to convince the missus of that sort of stuff. Yeah. So that's great. I'm glad Harry sorted it out. But the thing you would have had to do is make two and a little one for the kid. Oh, the kid, that was a weird thing. It was a honeymoon with the kid. Yes. Which is not the way to go at all.

53:39Jase:That's the other thing you could have done is you could have taken a balloon and drawn a face on it and stuck that to like a cricket bat and taken that with you and pretended that was your kid except you don't have to put up with any of the malarkey, you know, any of the actual looking after them. Yeah, just to slowly deflate it. Or at the airport in one of those lockers that you can rent out. Oh, yeah, they're quite affordable, actually. I never had a honeymoon, so I wouldn't know. Just a bit of an update here, Jase. The debauchery was the night immediately before the early morning train trip to rural Kent.

54:08Rural. So he went out for a massive night. So I was hanging out of my ass on a molly come down, whatever that is. Wouldn't have a clue. While hearing a first-hand account of the evacuation of Dunkirk. Oh, that is so good. You know it's a rough day when the 103-year-old has a sharper mind than you. Ten out of ten. Would visit again, though. You simply must go. The Horaki Big Show with Jase, Mike and Kesey. Tune in weekdays at four on Radio Horaki.

54:44Keyzie:Well, there you go, you mad bastards. That's the end of the big show this Monday evening. I'm loving this, this new tune. It is good, isn't it? It's got a little bit of fiddle underneath it there. It's real good. Now, listen, if you love the big show, here's some great news for you because we do a thing called the podcast outro, which is bonus material. Yes. It's not the radio show. It's completely separate from that. Pugs has just given me the, oh, shit, I've forgotten to make a clip, eyes. Yeah. Oh. So let's just buy some time for a while. If you're tuning in now and you just caught the end of the show and you're gutted, the podcast we upload daily also has highlights of the show too.

55:23So you never have to miss a single second of the big show. For example, you'll be able to hear earlier today when we chose this to be our new closing music. Oh, yeah. How you going, Pugs? Can I just say, too, on that front, can you just listen to the show?

55:37Keyzie:What do you mean? You know, not the podcast. Listen to the show. You can listen to both if you want. Yeah, listen to both. I mean, you know, people get lazy on it sometimes, Mogi, and they just listen to the podcast. Oh, they do. But there's a vibrancy in the live show. You're right. It's not the same as hearing the yarns with Tom Petty in between. Exactly. Yeah, thank you. Exactly my point. Pugs is good to go. And some ads. And some ads. Here's the clip of today's podcast outro entitled VO.

56:08Jase:That's right. Well, that's not my voice at all, but they want you, they get you. and then it's like, tipsy Tony from Timaru has had too much to drink. And it's like, well, why have you got me for this? That's not why.

56:20Keyzie:They did the same with me when I started doing Dog Squad and I just said, shut the f*** up. Yeah, man, this is how it goes. And I went, this is how it's done. I am the man.

56:31Jase:Well, this is how you run it through your head when you drive back from being diminished in front of the agency. From showing your arse to the casting agency.

56:40Keyzie:And showing my ass had nothing to do with Dog Squad, Keezy. But that was just a reference to... Just a reference, you know. Your worst ever audition, remember? Yes. You had to show them your butt. Yeah, remember? And remember they didn't give you the part because they said your butt was too all over the place. Yeah, it was a sloppy ass. They said it was a sham. I had very tight buns then, actually, Keezy. Yeah, no, I was just joking around. You've got a great butt. It was a peach. Hey, no, but do go and check out that podcast. Also check out the Instagram. Plenty going on there till tomorrow. We'll see you later, New Zealand.

57:14Bye.