FULL SHOW: Tech-spert Jizzbot

8:09Keyzie:8.57am this morning. I got like nine reels in a row from Pugsan. all of them filthy. Yeah.

8:16Jason Hoyte:Were you steamed this morning, Pugs? I just think you need to be a little bit more grateful that I thought of you at 9am.

8:21Keyzie:I'd rather you didn't at that time. I'm usually lying in bed just thinking nice thoughts. At 9am? Yeah, man. Get out of bed and seize the day, Jase, man. Well, I've only been out of bed. You're the big city guy, man. And, you know, I tell you what, what are the texts, by the way, before I get into some other really good chat?

8:37Mike Minogue:I know when my mate James is steamed because he gets more racist.

8:42Keyzie:Actually That is horrific But I know what he's talking about Not from my own personal But from other people The curtain falls You think about it The curtain falls is exactly right People sort of lose their inhibitions And they sort of open up

9:00Mike Minogue:I know my mates are staying because I am as well I accidentally post Sexy Viking avatars on Instagram. Whatever, that's a very specific thing. Not a friend, but my old man, he sends me multiple voice recordings through Facebook telling me I'm his best friends. They start relatively coherent, gradually increasing to slurred, after which point the videos of him shadowboxing and or playing electric guitar.

9:27Keyzie:Yeah. That's awesome, man. Yeah, that is nice. You're my best mate, man. Yeah, well, I had a mate that was, he was notorious for, and funnily enough, there's a Family Guy clip of this where Quagmire phones Peter in bed at 2am. I used to have a mate that was like that, and he would phone at like 2 in the morning and go, so what are you doing, Jase? How do you do, man? It's 2am, man.

9:51Mike Minogue:I'm just in bed, man. I was asleep. Well, to be fair, though, 2am at your place, not always the case. You're not always asleep.

9:59Keyzie:Mate, not only was I pummeled by Pugsan this morning with a tidal wave of reels. Thank God you said reels. Without a word of a lie, 3 a.m. this morning, at full tit, right outside my window, someone played this.

10:27Mike Minogue:Tune, man. I mean, it's a hell of a tune, don't you?

10:30Keyzie:I mean, I love that tune. It's a great tune, but not at 3 o 'clock in the morning on his little ghetto. Oh, it was a big ghetto blaster. Actually, he's carrying on on his shoulder, just blasting it right outside my window at 3am.

10:43Mike Minogue:So he was blasting it outside the window and you were getting pummeled by pugs after that.

10:47Keyzie:I know, I feel battered and bruised coming into work today.

10:50Jason Hoyte:The Hauraki Big Show with Jace, Mike and Keezy. Tune in weekdays at four on Radio Hauraki. Let's see who's joining Gerian Minaya on the Export Ultra Grand Final Bear Garden Tour.

11:04Keyzie:Yeah, it's a hell of a prize, that one. Kesey, I'm really surprised that you haven't made more of an effort to get in there, you know, to go along with the Fielos.

11:14Mike Minogue:To the NRL Grand Final for free with Jerry and Mania, go on a cruise, stay at a five-star hotel. All of that. Potentially watch the – I'm not interested, man.

11:22Keyzie:Right, okay. Well, no, that's all, Jay. It just didn't really make sense to me. Because I would argue that you love your Warriors more than Mania does.

11:30Mike Minogue:Can we please send that audio to Mania? I'd like a response on that. I agree with you, Jase. I do, man. He's a fake Warriors fan. Opposer. Opposer.

11:39Keyzie:And also, certainly more than Jerry.

11:42Mike Minogue:Oh, yeah, Jerry definitely doesn't like the Warriors. Does he even care about League? The only interest Jerry has in the Warriors would be potentially buying it one day. Yeah, true. The entire franchise.

11:52Keyzie:Yeah, the franchise.

11:54Mike Minogue:But also, the other reason I'm not worried is because I figured out I'm going to be in Tokyo on holiday with my wife the day of the grand final.

12:02Keyzie:Funnily enough, I'm going to be in Sydney on the day of the grand final. Are you playing it? Are you reffing it? Well, we'll see how it goes, man. Far out. It's exciting. I'm in the gym going hard out at the moment. But listen, let's go to the phone lines. G'day, Scott, you mad bastard. How's life? Yeah, good. Yourself? How are you doing? Yeah, good. Thanks, mate. Good, mate. Good, thanks, Scott. Tell me, Scott, what do you do for a crust, mate? I'm a builder. Oh, yeah. Of course, yeah. You're a big bang, mate. Yeah, massive back bang. Now, Scott, the thing is, mate, you know, it's going to be Jerry, Matt, and...

12:31Keyzie:Jerry Mania and Mike Lane. And Mike Lane, sorry. We don't want people going over there and being good bastards. We want you to make it as messy as possible for them. Do you think you can do that?

12:43Mike Minogue:I've been told that I do it on most nights out, so, yeah, I can do that.

12:46Keyzie:Yeah, okay, yeah, that's great.

12:48Mike Minogue:We want you to be a massive arsehole while you're over there, all right? Can you do that for us? 100%. Yeah, we knew you were the man for the job. I'll do it tonight. Yeah, we'll do it.

12:56Keyzie:The thing is, Scott, I mean, once you're over there, what are they going to do about it? You know what I mean? Well, that's right, yeah. Yeah, nice. It wasn't paid for. Yeah, beautiful, man. You're in the draw, Scott. Good stuff. Perfect. Thank you. Thanks, mate. G'day, Reece, you mad bastard. How's life?

13:11Jason Hoyte:Oh, yeah, pretty good.

13:12Keyzie:Yeah. Good stuff, man. What do you do for a crust, Reece? I'm a builder.

13:18Mike Minogue:Backbone. Yeah, another massive backbone. Hang on, what are the chances of getting two builders in a row on the line, man? What do you reckon? 80%. Rhys, whereabouts are you located, man? Auckland. Auckland builder. Cool. What, townhouses? No off-street parking? Is that what you're building?

13:32Jason Hoyte:Yeah, pretty much.

13:33Mike Minogue:Yeah, good on you, mate. Burning the city.

13:35Keyzie:Yeah, nice. Love it. Hey, tell me, Rhys, you like a few beers, do you?

13:41Jason Hoyte:Oh, shit, yeah.

13:42Mike Minogue:Yeah, okay. Okay, cool. Do you know when enough is enough, Rhys? No.

13:50Keyzie:Actually, can you put a star next to Rhys there? Yeah, yeah, cool. That's great stuff. Well, okay, Rhys, good news for you, my friend. You're in the draw as well.

13:59Jason Hoyte:Beauty.

14:00Mike Minogue:Good on you, mate. Good on you, Rhys. Thanks for the call. Ruin that trip if you go, brother. More chances to win. Just make sure you stay locked on Radio Hodaki and call 0800HODAKI when you do hear that cue to call. By the way, this is a bit of a long shot, but I'm serious. I've booked a trip to Japan later this year with my wife. The day we land is 8 a.m. Sunday of the grand final. Right, okay. So it's going to be 5pm roughly in Tokyo when the Grand Final is playing. If anyone listening to this podcast or live radio show has any knowledge of Japan, knows a good sports bar, like an Aussie sports bar, where they'll definitely be playing the NRL Grand Final, can you text us on 3483 or message me on Instagram?

14:41Mike Minogue:Because that could be amazing if the Warriors are in the Grand Final. I got you, bro. I was watching the Warriors the whole time I was there. Pugsan, really? Yeah.

14:51Keyzie:Harold, can you just give me some info if the Warriors make the final? What did you say, Harold?

14:58Mike Minogue:Yeah, it's my new phone. It's not Siri anymore, it's Harold. Because he's got a new phone? We'll talk about that after five, by the way.

15:05Keyzie:Here's the Arctic Monkeys.

15:07Mike Minogue:The Hauraki Big Show. Weekdays from four on Radio Hauraki.

15:11Keyzie:Tom Petty there on the Radio Hauraki Big Show this Wednesday afternoon. The time is 4.48. Let's talk TV. What's on the telly with Mike Minogue.

15:27Keyzie:Yeah. Yes. I mean, do we still do this segment if there's no Mogi?

15:32Mike Minogue:Okay. We've got to chat TV, Jase, so people love it. Yeah, okay, sure, man. What did you watch?

15:36Keyzie:Well, look, I've got nothing to really offer. True story, because I got my new phone last night, I was trying to get all my other information off my old phone, and I was effing and jeffing for about two hours. Right, okay. So we didn't focus on the... We had something on in the background, like I survived or something, but my wife was on her phone, and then she was trying to calm me down from trying to sort out my phone. It was just not a TV night, fellas. How many buzzies out of five? Yeah, I was going to ask, yeah. How many buzzies out of five with my phone? Yeah. I mean, the phone itself was five buzzies.

16:09Keyzie:Transferring stuff over, no buzzies. Zero buzzies. Zero buzzies.

16:12Mike Minogue:So that adds up to 2.5 buzzies. Two and a half buzzies, the whole experience. I started watching a show my wife was really keen to watch called Celebrity Escape. Now it's on TV, it's on 3NZ, hosted by Rove, who I loved watching when I was a young fella. Yeah, that's right.

16:29Jason Hoyte:One of the great talk shows.

16:30Mike Minogue:Like with Dave Hughes, Hamish and Andy, just a great live TV show comedy that we don't make anymore. No. We don't make that kind of show anymore, which sucks. Rove hosts it. It's got amazing New Zealand comedians, Hayley Sproul, Josh Thompson, Chris Parker, and Abby Howells. Yes. And a few Aussie comedians who I'm not familiar with. Unfortunately, not even the excellence of our comedians could make me watch it for longer than 10 minutes. Wow. What was it called? Celebrity Escape. And basically they have seven celebrities. They all go into an escape room. They have to work out the clues and escape, which you think, oh, that could be funny.

17:05Mike Minogue:But I just, there's no jeopardy. There's no, oh, at the end of it, like, they've just escaped a room, maybe. I don't know. And it took them 13 minutes to get into the room and start solving it. And it's like an hour show that feels like it should be half an hour. So they're padding it out. Yeah. And the comedians are great, obviously. All those people are some of our best. But, yeah, we just stopped after, like, 20 minutes. My wife was like, oh, sorry for making you watch this. It's not very good.

17:30Keyzie:Well, you know what your wife should have done is taken up your suggestion of watching Broken Wood, the Hoity J episode.

17:36Mike Minogue:Because the latest episode features you heavily. And I did suggest that to her. And as I said yesterday, she said, ugh. Yeah, she went, ugh. Hoity Rainis. Hoity Rainis, she said. I'll give Celebrity Escape. Unfortunately, on three New Zealand, I'll give it 1.8 buzzies out of five. It would be a zero if our comedians went so great.

17:56Jason Hoyte:Okay, great. What about you, Puckson? You love your TV. I do love my TV. And I've been watching something that you recommended me a long time ago, Jase. But also, coincidentally, it was on my list of TV shows to watch. You know how hard it is when you have a list of things you want to watch to actually watch something on there? It's really tough. Yes. Like you immediately go on there and you can't pick one. It's called Sharp Objects and it's on neon. Yes. And it's very, very dark and grim. It's basically Amy Adams plays a young journalist who revisits her hometown. Her boss sends her there to basically look after or investigate a case that's ongoing of a missing girl when there was another missing girl like a year ago.

18:33Jason Hoyte:But she's massively traumatized from her time there. and a lot of that stuff comes back up. It's very dark, very gritty. Trauma, right?

18:39Mike Minogue:A lot of trauma in the stuff you guys watch.

18:41Keyzie:And she is a massive alcoholic as well. Yes. Oh, you're nice. But do you like, I mean, it's full on. It gets very, very dark. Amy Adams is a brilliant actor. Yes.

18:53Jason Hoyte:I think she's superb and she's very good in this. The lady that plays her mother, Adora, in the show is excellent at playing textbook narcissist parent. Yes. Making it all about her. It's really, really good. I give it a good 3.8 buzzies out of a possible five. That's on Neon, but probably moving over to Sky. I guess it's an HBO thing. Is it an HBO show? I don't know.

19:12Mike Minogue:That'll be on HBO Max now, by the way, which I believe is launched now. I think HBO Max is launched now in New Zealand.

19:19Jason Hoyte:If you like True Detective, get on that, actually.

19:23Mike Minogue:Jase, just FYI, this song from Stained absolutely rules, man. Yeah? Jase, you love Stained, eh?

19:32Keyzie:You love it. Just get on with it, fellas.

19:37Jason Hoyte:The Hauraki Big Show with Jase, Mike and Keezy. Tune in weekdays at four on Radio Hauraki.

19:43Keyzie:Welcome back, you massive backbones. Hope you're getting through hump day tickety-boo. You're listening to The Big Show brought to you by Reburguer. Craveworthy street food. Freshly made.

19:54Jason Hoyte:Freshly made. Freshly. With Reburguer. Keezy.

19:57Mike Minogue:Reburguer. I was trying to do like a cool choir thing where we both do it.

20:03Jason Hoyte:Just couldn't let me have the moment, could he?

20:05Keyzie:No, he could. What's that about? He had to jump in there, didn't he, Keezy? What do you mean? That was Pugsan's big moment, and you just butchered it. Wait, was that his big moment?

20:15Mike Minogue:That was my big moment. It was his big moment. I had no idea. I thought it was just another regular moment. I get one moment per show. And now it's done? Yeah. Great, that's good to know, actually.

20:23Keyzie:Hey, just on that front, if you're just joining us, there's no mogi today. He's at an inverted commas business conference.

20:31Mike Minogue:See, that's how you do it. Why did we all do that just then? Well, because we were on the same page there. Right, I was on a different page. Someone's texted in, by the way, they've just spotted Mogi doing backstroke in the ocean. Okay. And then they've said, oh, don't worry, it was a shark. Because of his honker. Like a fin in the water. Someone else has texted through. Remember I asked if anyone knows a good sports bar in Tokyo if the WARS get into the finals, because I'll be in Tokyo. Does anyone have any ideas of a good sports bar? Someone's texted through. there's a really good one called Shit Out of Luck bar in Tokyo.

21:07Mike Minogue:So the audience are Have you still got the

21:10Jason Hoyte:No, I don't know. We retired that a long time ago. This would be the perfect moment I think.

21:15Keyzie:Would have been racism alarm. Hey, that's great stuff though. Now listen apparently coming up. Are you endorsing racism?

21:24Mike Minogue:Do we have the racism alarm?

21:25Keyzie:No, I was just wondering if we still had that siren.

21:28Mike Minogue:No, we had it disconnected at your request, Jase. Right, okay.

21:31Keyzie:Hey, now coming up, oh, Keezy has a bit of a legal conundrum that he needs help with.

21:38Mike Minogue:And this is my big moment, guys, so just let me do this, all right?

21:40Keyzie:Yes, sweet as. Do you like royal blood? Yes, I do.

21:46Jason Hoyte:The Hauraki Big Show with Jase, Mike and Keezy. Tune in weekdays at four on Radio Hauraki.

21:52Keyzie:Yes, indeed. Hole there on the Radio Hauraki Big Show this Wednesday evening. The time is 5.12. And Keezy, this is your moment.

22:02Mike Minogue:Thanks fellas I've got a legal conundrum Can we play the legal advice sting? Legal advice On the big show Pugs Yeah man Thank you so much for making that sting ahead of time

22:16Jason Hoyte:I didn't think you got the memo about making it Especially because I'm doing A and B today But I found a moment in there just before Thanks because you didn't respond to my text

22:24Mike Minogue:Being like hey can you please make a legal advice sting But full credit to Pugs He made it anyway And one of the best

22:30Keyzie:Can I just say just on that on the sting front. I hope your legal conundrum's better than the sting because the sting's shit.

22:38Mike Minogue:But when it comes to radio stings, Jase, and I'm sorry that you had to sit through that, Pugs. Yeah, no, thank you.

22:43Jason Hoyte:And he's also eating into your time. Oh, he's... Because this is your moment, as you said, Jase. That's what I mean.

22:48Keyzie:So I know there's a lot of pressure on you

22:49Mike Minogue:to deliver on this. Now I know how the ACC feels with you just eating into stuff. You know, but I'm not a free bag of chips, am I? I'm your co-host. And Pugs, you did a great job on that sting. Thanks, Keezy. And don't get down in the dumps over that. Okay, because... I'm not. I'm stoked. Can you restart the sting? Sorry, man, because this has gotten off to a real bad start. Legal advice on the big show. Actually, when I hear it back a second time, Jase, you're right there. Could use a bit of polish. Yeah, it's not great. Just on the ACC...

23:18Jason Hoyte:This is your moment, just by the way, that you're eating into.

23:20Keyzie:Just on the ACC, by the way, Jase, I don't mean to sideline your great topic here. They've got a box of chippies in there, but there's only one packet left in the box. Right. I can't steal it today, sorry fellas. What do you mean, sorry fellas? We never want you to. I don't want any of your chips, Jase.

23:37Jason Hoyte:I've got my own lunch.

23:38Mike Minogue:Stop using us as an excuse to go and steal chips. Oh, I have to feed the fellas. Soon it'll be his legal conundrum. Tell me about it, yeah. Theft. Actually, can we start the sting again, Pugs? Because this, once again, my big moment has been trampled all over. Legal advice on The Big Show. Yeah, actually, I don't rate that sting at all anymore. But that's okay. That's okay, Pugs. It's just probably I've confirmed listening to it three times in a row. I know it's okay. Fellas, I've got a legal conundrum, and I need some legal advice.

24:09Mike Minogue:So with this whole house process, right, I'm selling my house, going to buy another one. You get your lawyer to look over all the paperwork and make sure everything's okay. I didn't get a piece of paper. I get a document from my lawyer going, hey, man, just sign this, just for our sort of workings together, and then pay this money or whatever, and then we'll be underway. And I'm like, well, who do I send the 15-page legal document about getting a lawyer on board? Who do I send that to to get that checked over? How do I know my lawyer is not trying to hide something in the fine print there because I can't get my lawyer to look over it because he'll charge me for that.

24:43Mike Minogue:And also, he's my lawyer. It's his document.

24:46Jason Hoyte:What do I do there? Do they not have, because your lawyer is obviously more for your property-related stuff, I'm assuming. Oh, they do all sorts of pugs, but yeah, they can do that. They'd probably have lawyers for lawyers. a lawyer, like a law expert.

24:58Keyzie:Well, I see your conundrum here because he's a divorce lawyer, isn't he? That's what he... Yeah, yeah. So, I mean, I'd have a few issues with that. I mean, I think he's jumping the shark there, but... Well, actually, it's funny

25:11Mike Minogue:because my wife's the one that brought him in. Yeah, it's a red flag. She was like, well, this guy's great. I've done a lot of stuff with him. And I was like, oh, that's weird. You've done a lot of stuff with a divorce lawyer. What have you been doing? Yeah, and then she was like, oh, nothing to worry about. I was like, okay, good. but so yeah so like my wife signed off on him but I have to sign this document I haven't really read it through you know I'm not a lawyer

25:30Keyzie:you know do I just sign it and just trust it or what do I well my concern is that your wife has been doing a lot of stuff with this divorce lawyer I'd like a legal definition of stuff but just the fact that she's been doing her own stuff with this divorce lawyer and then this divorce lawyer is sliding a document under your huge snozz

25:51Jason Hoyte:and saying, just sign this, Keezy, she'll be sweet as. Actually, just a thought there. Obviously, the divorce lawyer thing is by the by. It's not about that they're a divorce lawyer. It doesn't matter that he specializes. But I do think it couldn't hurt for you to also get your own divorce lawyer to understand the divorce lawyer end from her end. Does that make sense? Because then if you both have a divorce lawyer, then the property, what were you saying, the property sale? It'll be really smooth, yeah.

26:23Keyzie:So in conclusion, my advice to you, Keezy, would be get your own divorce lawyer. That's what I just said. Yeah, I literally just said that. I'm reiterating what Pugs said. Right. Because you could find yourself in a world full of pain, man. A world full of pain, okay. With the property sale, not the divorce. Okay, it's property. Yeah, okay.

26:43Mike Minogue:Because we're splitting everything 50-50. That's what happens when you sell a house. You split everything 50-50. Wow, this is the thing. Well, I'm aiming for 50-50.

26:52Keyzie:Yeah, well, you're aiming for it, but she's already got a divorce lawyer. You're still yet to get one, so she's already streets ahead of you.

26:58Jason Hoyte:The Hauraki Big Show with Jace, Mike and Kesey. Tune in weekdays at four on Radio Hauraki.

27:05Keyzie:Faith, no more there on the Radio Hauraki Big Show this Wednesday evening. The time is 25 minutes past five o 'clock.

27:12Jason Hoyte:Fellas, I've had a bit of a debacle this morning. One thing you'll know about me, or may or may not know about me, is that I pack my partner's lunch at my lunch each morning.

27:21Keyzie:No, we'll just stop you there, Pugs. What? We most certainly did not know that about you.

27:27Jason Hoyte:So you pack your partner, and what's the reason? What's the reason? Generally, she's got a bit more stuff to do in the morning than I do. Obviously, we don't start here until a bit later in the afternoon. She's got to get ready. She starts at a normal time, nine to five styles. So I just get up and -

27:40Keyzie:So a block of tofu and some sticky beef in her lunchbox there?

27:43Jason Hoyte:Yeah, pretty much, man. A chili egg? Usually I'll make like a chia pudding or like some porridge, overnight oats the night before. That'll be ready to go. Easy as. The night before, wouldn't she be able to do that? A couple of bits of fruit.

27:53Keyzie:I would be absolutely pissed off if I opened my lunchbox up, Keezy, and it was a big thing of porridge in there. She doesn't have a lunchbox.

28:00Jason Hoyte:She's actually got a pocket in her bag that I put it all in.

28:02Mike Minogue:Her lunch pocket. How furious would you be? Her bag lunch pocket.

28:05Jason Hoyte:She's got pocket porridge. I feel like we're getting bogged down.

28:08Mike Minogue:100%. So just out of curiosity, so you make your partner's lunch. It's not much. Let me just say that.

28:13Jason Hoyte:It's not like an elaborate three-course bloody thing. Pugs, it's chill, man.

28:16Mike Minogue:It's just a couple of things. It's chill, man. You're in a safe space here on the big show. It feels real safe. On the radio. So because we're all in a similar situation with Jase, not so much anymore, but where we do afternoon work and my wife, for example, she needs to be at work sort of 8 o 'clock like normal person. Normal person. And so she's got less spare time, you know, so I can understand. Yes. But you make the overnight oats. So even in the evening, you're making the lunch. Yeah, sometimes. Even though you're both home in the evening.

28:43Jason Hoyte:I just, you know, it's one of those jobs that, you know, when you get to living with your partner, you sort of assume roles if you haven't, you know, delegated them or whatever, and you just go, oh, like I do this. This is just the thing that I do.

28:54Keyzie:I know what you're saying. So, like, in my house, I'll be like a cowboy. Oh, role playing. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

29:01Mike Minogue:Or like a spaceman. Oh, so you're playing like a lunch lady? Yes. Yeah, yeah. She's really, really into it. Right, okay. And she comes up with her little pocket there. We've got a tray and everything, yeah. Would you like me to put some porridge in that pocket of yours and then... Yeah.

29:19Keyzie:I mean, each to their own. There's no judgment there. So what's the issue?

29:22Mike Minogue:Yeah, what's the issue?

29:22Keyzie:Anyway, so we're walking to the bus this morning.

29:25Jason Hoyte:Sorry, Jase. When we're walking to the bus this morning, she's got her bag there with her pocket and she feels that there's fruit in the pocket that I put in there for today. And she pulls out what I thought was an orange, but it was a lemon because I'm colourblind. And so I had packed her a lemon with her banana for lunch.

29:46Mike Minogue:This is actually something that I don't know if you know this about Pugs, Jase, but he's real racist against fruit. He just thinks they are, you know, like he's shocking. He'll just be, oh, this is a fruit. That's a fruit. They're all, you know.

29:56Jason Hoyte:Now, thankfully, she didn't take me packing her a lemon in her lunch as like a statement of some kind. But she did say to me, oh, this is the lemon from the other day. And I went, what? And she was like, yeah, on Monday you packed me a lemon. And I was like, oh, I thought it was an orange. So twice in the same week I've packed her the same lemon. Oh, you put it back in? Well, because she put it back in the fruit bowl, so I thought it was another orange. So I grabbed it.

30:20Keyzie:Can I just clarify? So is this all part of the role play? Yeah. You pack her a lemon, and then you get home after work at night, and she goes, you've been a naughty boy, Pugsana. You pack me a lemon again.

30:31Jason Hoyte:And then she gets the lunch tray out, and it all goes uphill from there. Uphill? The Hauraki Big Show with Jace, Mike, and Keezy. Tune in weekdays at four on Radio Hauraki.

30:42Keyzie:Soundgarden there on the Radio Hauraki. Big show this Wednesday evening. You know, fellas, I was reflecting today because it's become common knowledge that I got a new phone used today.

30:53Mike Minogue:Pretty exciting stuff, man. Big phone guy.

30:56Keyzie:It is really exciting stuff, actually. I didn't think I cared about it. But I do care. Oh, was that my phone? Oh, yeah. Sounds good. Can you put it on silent? Have you not figured out the silent function? Are you serious? That's my daughter. No, no, no.

31:11Mike Minogue:Do you know how to silence your phone? Obviously. Okay, just do it for me now.

31:15Keyzie:Yeah, okay. Harry, silent please. You have to touch the touchscreen for it to work. Fellas! And I was thinking about how awesome it is, you know, and the generosity of the company to give me the phone and how ironic it is too that now we're sitting in this room here and you guys are sort of techno whizzes and you've got your flash and our phones there. But now Hoity J has the flashest phone of all compared to your shitters. Jase, I can hear your phone going off. It's like I just had to chuckle to myself, you know. I've gone from having the worst phone in the building. Is that your phone ringing?

31:59Keyzie:Oh, sorry. That's my mum. I'll call her back. How do you actually cut something?

32:05Mike Minogue:Can you please just put it on silent, please?

32:08Keyzie:Can you just, how do I?

32:09Jason Hoyte:Jase, it works the same as your other phone. It's got all the same functions. Well, no, the actual buttons are different.

32:14Keyzie:But it's kind of ironic that, you know, now I've got, I've got the coolest phone in the group. Yeah, you so do. Hey, but listen, because, you know, obviously last night I had to set it up.

32:29Mike Minogue:Yeah, what was that like? Because I was picturing it and I was laughing.

32:32Keyzie:And Kev, who's in charge of the phones, the technical department here at NCMG. Yeah, yeah. Phone Kev. He's a nice guy. He explained it to me yesterday afternoon, right? And I've got to be honest, as we talked about on the show yesterday, it was the monkey in my head banging the drums together while he was talking to me. Symbols. All I remember is he said, for your old phone and your new phone, they've got to be side by side so your new phone can get all the sort of information that just goes, douche, douche, douche, douche, Across to your new one. It's magical, isn't it? I sat them down on the little table there, the coffee table, and went, they both had power on.

33:09Mike Minogue:So you put them both down next to each other and then you just stood back, hands on your hips and went, okay, fellas, off you go.

33:16Keyzie:That was pretty much it. All right, you fellas, do your stuff. Do your stuff. And it didn't happen. It didn't work. But I was determined not to effing Jeff. I was like, cool, calm, hoity J.

33:30Mike Minogue:Because were you picturing us and how we'd take the piss out of you if you didn't do this? Yes, totally. Of course I was. Yeah, yeah, you're good. Of course I was.

33:36Keyzie:Like I've got this amazing phone better than anyone's in the building now. And it's like, you know, I've got to do this properly. The first hurdle that I had was when I was going into the new phone, it said just scan on your old phone this thing on the new phone. This QR code. This QR code on your new phone and it'll just transfer all your stuff. And I was like. Because your old phone. My old phone doesn't have a scanner. You've got to buy one for$70 in the app store.

34:03Mike Minogue:So what did you do? Did you buy a QR code scanner?

34:06Keyzie:Well, I did, but it was only$60. And so on my old phone, which ironically has a scanner now, but I can't use it because all the other stuff's on my new phone.

34:17Mike Minogue:Yeah, true. You'll have to buy that same scanner again on your new phone. I think it's$70 for the new one.

34:21Keyzie:Well, this is the thing about my new phone is it's got its own inbuilt scanner. Oh. So I did that, scanned it. Beautiful. And then it shat the bed again. What did it do? Douche, douche, douche.

34:34Mike Minogue:Yeah, right. Wow, okay. So your phone is shit. Obviously, you don't know how to silence it, but it's going okay? It's going great, Guns.

34:39Keyzie:And did you guys get that pic I sent you this morning, fellas? Did you get that pic? Every freckle, Jase. Yeah, how good. You could see everything, eh? You could see all the contours.

34:51Jason Hoyte:The Hauraki Big Show, weekdays from 4 on Radio Hauraki.

34:55Keyzie:Foo Fighters there on the Radio Hauraki Big Show this Wednesday evening. The time is 5.49. Good news, fellas. I found the vibrate button. no more interruptions during the show from my phone.

35:06Mike Minogue:Just moving forward, Jase, this is on his new phone. It's called Silence. Either silent or vibrate. Right, okay. Yeah, I've got three options, man. Yeah, so it is vibrating. Nice work. Oh, can you do that again, Pugs? Can you stop calling him, please? Sorry, sorry. Very disturbing.

35:27Jason Hoyte:Fellas, have you ever spent the day in the loo? Yes, actually. I got food poisoning from Christmas ham once and spent 24 hours out both ends. Sweet.

35:35Mike Minogue:And so while you were in the loo for that day, did you raise any funds at all for Bowel Cancer New Zealand? No. No, you didn't, Pug. See, that's where you went wrong. That's why Hauraki next week on Thursday the 25th from 6am for over 12 hours is broadcasting live from the top of the Sky Tower for the next edition of Day in Loo.

35:55Keyzie:On that front, by the way, Kesey, we'll be in and out all day. Of what? of the shows.

36:02Mike Minogue:Oh, we'll be tagging it out. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

36:04Keyzie:It won't just be our show that we'll be on. We'll be on throughout the day. Because I don't know if you guys know this, because it's happening at Sky Tower, right? Yeah. I live in the CBD now, so I'll be able to pop in. I'll pop in for morning tea and lunch and stuff. Where do you live? Oh, just in the CBD bug. Easy.

36:26Mike Minogue:Nice. So, yeah, we'll be in and out. So we'll be in and out of Prebs, his show. We might tag in in the morning. We'll just be popping up throughout the day. And the great news is it's all in support of Bowel Cancer New Zealand, raising funds and starting conversations that could save lives, fellas. To donate, text Lou to 3483. You get a secure donation link, and you can head to dayandlou.co.nz for an online symptom checker. It's one of those sicknesses where if you catch symptoms early, it's very, very, very, very treatable. Bloody oath. Yeah, yeah. So do get involved. That's Thursday next week.

37:00Mike Minogue:Doing it from the top of the Sky Tower, the entire station. Jase is also, for charity, walking up every single stairwell of the Sky Tower, which is a huge call. Like, it's going to be awesome. Yeah, you're a legend. What charity am I doing that for? Balcance, New Zealand. Obviously. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah. Thanks, Jase. You're a legend, man.

37:17Keyzie:How are you with heights, pugs? You get a bit woozy? Yes, I do. It's going to be a debacle. Keezy's the same. Same with Mogi. Yeah, we're all scared of heights. Yeah, just be Hoity J, just anchoring the fellas, making them feel secure.

37:32Jason Hoyte:The Hauraki Big Show, weekdays from four on Radio Hauraki.

37:36Keyzie:Talking heads there on the Radio Hauraki Big Show this Wednesday evening. The time is 5.56. What's coming up after six, Keezy?

37:45Mike Minogue:Good question, Jase. After six on the Hauraki Big Show, fruit bowl chat.

37:49Keyzie:Yeah.

37:50Mike Minogue:Do you want to have a chat about what's in fruit bowls and what should and shouldn't be in there? Sorry, is it fruit bowl chat or is it what's on the fruit bowl? Ah, good question, Pugs. It is definitely Fruit Bowl chat at this stage.

38:01Keyzie:Are you sure that's not more suitable for after seven?

38:04Mike Minogue:Oh, like on the night show? Yeah. Yeah, could do, to be honest. Either. Anywhere that I'm allowed to broadcast quality content, I'm happy, Jase. Yeah, cool, man. But no, we'll probably do that straight after six. And, of course, meetpaddynips69 at gmail.com. A real email address. You can send questions in. It's an advice segment, and you can win prizes. That's what's coming up.

38:25Jason Hoyte:The Hauraki Big Show with Jace, Mike and Keezy. Tune in weekdays at four on Radio Hauraki.

38:31Keyzie:Welcome back, you massive backbones. Hope your Wednesday night's going off. You're listening to The Big Show brought to you by Reburger.

38:38Jason Hoyte:Beef, chicken, vegan and vegetarian options. Re-big, yeah, redefining the norm. Yum. Yeah, great stuff.

38:45Keyzie:Speaking of yum food, what's on the plate tonight, fellas? What's on the dinner?

38:51Jason Hoyte:With me, Keezy.

38:51Mike Minogue:With No that's on Tuesday's Pugs For dinner tonight I'm not stoked to be honest I messaged my wife I said well what's on the dinner tonight With me Keezy She must love it when you do that Yeah Thus the divorce lawyer She said Tofu pasta Yum Tofu pasta Red pepper tofu And then you blend it all together And put it on pasta A bit of parmesan on top Yep I'm into that And a few chillies I'd give that a go The chillies did you say Dried chillies That enrages me. Does it? It's just pasta, Jase. Pasta and tofu.

39:27Keyzie:No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. No, sorry, Bob. Not in my time, you won't.

39:34Mike Minogue:Not in your time. Not on my plate with me, hoity Jase. Were you going to say not in my house? You won't? What are you having for dinner, Jase? Very excited, fellas. Hot pot. Yum.

39:46Keyzie:Oh, because you didn't have it last night. Didn't have it last night. We had the dough last night. I said, come on, darling, we bought this, let's eat it.

39:53Jason Hoyte:After Mogi, prayer pressured you on the show yesterday.

39:55Keyzie:Yeah, let's get it out of the way so I can get back to my hot pot.

39:59Jason Hoyte:Your wife's delicious dal, you said, let's get this out of the way.

40:02Mike Minogue:First of all, he bought it from the supermarket. Oh, did you, the dal? Yeah, yeah, it's bloody good.

40:07Keyzie:Hey, but listen, I'll tell you what's exciting, because you can get all sorts of different sauces for your hot pot. Tonight I'm going for the green pepper sauce.

40:17Jason Hoyte:Yeah, that sounds really good. Yeah.

40:18Mike Minogue:That is so great. Yeah, man. I'm stoked for you, man. The funny part is you're actually really stoked about this, aren't you? I totally am. I love it, man. I love it. It's like whenever I know that it's Dumpling Day. It's like a little spring on my step, man. Let's go. Pugs, what are you having?

40:34Jason Hoyte:I'm getting Reburger. Really? Yeah, I actually am. So I got a gig tonight, and around the corner is my chosen Reburger. So I'm going to be heading over there, getting a little bite. Nice. What do you think you'll get? Have you looked at the menu? Usually I'm a Regent Red guy or a Super Nash. Yeah. And then obviously fries. Oh, yeah. And sometimes I get a little tendy on the side. Will your fries be loaded, Pugs? No, because usually when they load them, I think it's mostly there's meat. Do they put meat on them? Yeah, some of them do, some of them don't. If I can get one without me, then 100%. I think you can at Reburger.

41:06Jason Hoyte:Yeah, jalapeno maybe? Yeah, yum. 100%.

41:09Mike Minogue:Well, that's bloody exciting stuff. Speaking of food, fellas, coming up next, fruit bowl chat. What the do's and don'ts of a fruit bowl, what you can put in there, what you can't put in there. And this has come about because my fruit bowl at the moment is in absolute shambles. And that's not a euphemism.

41:28Jason Hoyte:Here's She-Hart. The Hauraki Big Show with Jace, Mike, and Keezy. Tune in weekdays at 4 on Radio Hauraki.

41:35Keyzie:Yes, indeed. The Strokes there on the Radio Hauraki Big Show this Wednesday. evening, time being 14 minutes past 6 o 'clock. Which means it's time for

41:47Jason Hoyte:Apples, oranges, pears, mandarins, tangerines, persimmon, tomatoes, technically Fruit Bowl Chat with me,

41:58Keyzie:Keezy. Keezy.

42:04Mike Minogue:Quite a lot of mustard on that sting, isn't it? Good stuff, Post. It's Fruit Bowl Chat, man. Good work, mate. It's a big deal. This is your moment, Kesey. It was great stuff. Let's not make my big segment about the sting, all right? Let's not get bogged down on how great that sting was. Hit us. Fellas, what's your stance on fruit bowls? I'm fruit bowl positive. Okay. Jase?

42:27Keyzie:They annoy the crap out of me.

42:30Mike Minogue:Of course they.

42:31Keyzie:What could they possibly do that could annoy the crap out of you? We put them on the bench in the kitchen there. Yeah, where they go?

42:39Jason Hoyte:The poor dog and the fruit on the bench.

42:40Keyzie:No, no, in a bowl, Pugs. Right, so a fruit bowl.

42:43Mike Minogue:It's a fruit bowl, Jack. Okay. He's just... Eyes here, please. So you have a fruit bowl. Yes. It's on your bench.

42:51Keyzie:But the only person that really eats fruit in my house is my wife. Right. And so it's filled with fruit that goes off and then attracts fruit flies. Right, okay. And it drives me absolutely nuts. Right, okay. So you'll have kiwi food in there, for example. Just goes all shriveling and grody. You'll have apples in there and they go all flowery. You'll have nanas in there. Nanas? And they'll go all brown. What's wrong with that? It's just disgusting.

43:27Mike Minogue:Right, okay. So you're fruit bowl. You're anti-fruit bowl. I'm anti-fruit bowl. And you're fruit bowl positive, Pugs. I'm fruit bowl positive as well. Here's a list of things that are in my fruit bowl currently. You tell me whether or not that it's all G, all right? Here we go. Just getting up a photo of my fruit bowl. Nanas. Yes. I suppose so. Yeah. Sweet. Can I get the correct sting there? Yeah, yeah. Nanas. Yeah, good. Granny Smith apples. All G. You happy with that, Jase?

43:59Keyzie:Well, I mean, I hate it all, but, you know, I suppose.

44:01Mike Minogue:What the hell did a Granny Smith do to you? You hate it.

44:03Keyzie:Well, no, I mean, if it's going to be in a fruit bowl, then that's fine. You hate vitamins, eh? Yes. Other than D.

44:12Mike Minogue:You love D. Mandarins. A couple of mandarins off my mandarin tree.

44:17Keyzie:It'll just shrivel up and dry.

44:19Mike Minogue:Or you can eat them. A lemon off my lemon tree. Just one. That's just triggered me a little bit. Just one lemon. Happy with that, Jase? Yes. Tamatis? Well, only if they're not very ripe. Yeah, see, I'm on the fence about this. You're on the fence about tamatis. They are, I would say, ready to eat. A couple of ready-to-eat tomatoes. Not soft, but ready to go. You're not incorrect. It's a fruit. It's a fruit. It's a fruit bowl, right? I'll give you that. Okay. What about a shallot? No.

44:51Keyzie:That goes in its separate bowl with the ginger and the garlic. Oh, the root bowl. Yes. The root bowl.

44:58Jason Hoyte:Have you got a root bowl, have you? Yes. Where's that? It's got all those keys in it. Garlic?

45:06Mike Minogue:No. Fajoa, from my Fajoa tree. Yes. Okay, great. Fajoa. Fajoa. What about this brown onion? No. That's veggie bowl. That's just a produce bowl. So that's everything that's in my fruit bowl, by the way. It's turned into a sort of fruit come root bowl. Which has a sentence I never thought I'd say. Fruit come root bowl. Yeah, where do you stand on those? Hate it.

45:38Jason Hoyte:The Hauraki Big Show with Jace, Mike and Kesey. Tune in weekdays at four on Radio Hauraki.

45:44Keyzie:Yes, indeed. Rage against the machine there on the Radio Hauraki Big Show this Wednesday evening. The time is 26 minutes past six o 'clock. Fellas, you know how I know quite a lot about NRL and the whas and stuff like that?

45:59Mike Minogue:Well, good news. Bitch has come back and they've asked me to host another pot with the listeners. So I can turn that vast NRL knowledge into hopefully winnings for the listeners, which is bloody exciting. This week, Sunday's game is the Warriors-Cowboys-Takaha Stadium down in Christchurch. First game for the Wars of the new stadium, fellas. That is actually exciting. Thank you, Pugs. That's really good.

46:23Jason Hoyte:Yeah.

46:24Mike Minogue:Thanks, Pugs. Are you excited about that, Jase? Sorry, what? I've been asked to host another pot, man. Oh, right. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, so currently it hasn't been going too well, to be honest.

46:35Keyzie:Yeah, actually, just on that front, can I remind the audience of an extraordinary statistic. Kesey's had two pots. Three pots. Oh, three pots.

46:49Mike Minogue:Yeah. Old three pots Kesey.

46:51Keyzie:Really?

46:52Mike Minogue:Yeah.

46:53Keyzie:Oh, so how many bets have you had now? Same amount. 50? Yeah. He's had 50 bets. Not a word of a lie. he's lost 49. Yeah, but I got one though. Yeah, but that's because you picked both sides to win.

47:10Mike Minogue:People in the chat on the pot were like, Keezy, just pick both, man. That way you've just at least got a win to your name.

47:16Keyzie:That's the only win he's had in 50 bets. Unbelievable.

47:23Mike Minogue:The worst part is it's actually very believable. If you're keen to join in, man, you want to get rich with old Keezy, Get the Betcher app there. Download it. Jump into BetSocial. Use the invite code backbone. Join the pot. Interact with me in the chat there and all the other backbones. I'll be down there live at the game, actually, to Carr Stadium in Christchurch. Very excited.

47:41Keyzie:I've got to say, actually, it does look like a bloody amazing stadium that they've got down there. It does. It's a shame, actually, that the Crusaders got their asses handed to them in the semis because it would have been great to have another match there for the public.

47:55Mike Minogue:But that's just sport, isn't it, fellas? I have sympathy for the Crusaders. Yeah. Don't forget, R18, bet responsibly, but do go and get involved. So, yeah, I'll be heading down to Christchurch this weekend.

48:05Keyzie:I believe Mania's down there as well, fellas. Is he? Yeah.

48:09Jason Hoyte:I asked him if he would come on for like a WARS preview chat with us on Friday. He said no. He said, I'm out, man. But also. And then he goes, isn't Keezy going? I'm like, yeah.

48:18Mike Minogue:Well, the thing is, we don't need him to talk about being down there and talking about the WARS because I'm on the show. I can literally do that for you guys. Yeah, I kind of want a Mania. He's on breakfast. He's on breakfast. He's on the breakfast show, yeah. Dog's breakfast more like, hey, Jase. Jase? There's a black key, Jase.

48:38Jason Hoyte:The Hauraki Big Show. Weekdays from four on Radio Hauraki.

48:50Keyzie:Well, there you go, you mad bastards. That's the big show done and dusted for your Wednesday night.

48:55Jason Hoyte:It's got a bit of flavours, shapes in your teeth there, sort of on your mouth, Jase.

49:03Keyzie:What was the podcast outro clip? Are you kidding me?

49:07Jason Hoyte:You're just going to eat shapes through this entire outro. Is that what we're doing? Man, you're hard to work with, Jase. Anyway, this clip's about how easy I am to work with.

49:17Mike Minogue:Well, I have noticed a thing in Pugs recently where you cannot get an answer out of him without waiting for the smartass comment first. Yeah. And then you have to wait for that. Then you have to go, okay, cool. Can we do that now? Well, them's the rules.

49:28Keyzie:I actually find pucks sound really easy to work with. Right, so I love how you go, me and Keezy, blah, blah, blah.

49:37Mike Minogue:Hey, Keezy. Then Keezy says something, and then you go, actually, I don't agree with that at all. You guys are assholes, man. I don't know what you're talking about. What are you talking about? I don't know what you're talking about. All I can hear is you chewing on shakes. Yeah, you're like sucking it out of your teeth. Guys, come on.

49:53Keyzie:From flavor. Just be serious, please. Still a professional radio show.

49:56Mike Minogue:Good point, Jase. On a serious note, mate, you're off to get a hot pot. Yeah, man. Exciting?

50:00Keyzie:Yeah, green pepper. I'm going for the green pepper sauce.

50:04Mike Minogue:What's in the hot pot? Yeah, what do you put in your hot pot?

50:07Keyzie:And for the listeners that don't know, what is a hot pot? You basically get your own little bowl. A pot? A pot, and you just fill it with all, and there's just an array of ingredients. What temperature is the pot? Cold. What? Hang on a minute. But you pick all your ingredients. You pickle them. No, you pick them. That must take ages. No, not very long. And then you give it to the dude and you choose a sauce to cook it in. Right, green pepper. Green pepper or Sichuan pepper or whatever it is. Is it all pepper? It all tends to be spicy. They take it away. They cook it up for you in like five minutes.

50:42Keyzie:Bring it out a steaming bowl of spicy goodness.

50:46Jason Hoyte:We have a different idea of hot pot. When I think hot pot, I go to the place where you cook it yourself. Right. And you have a pot of broth on a portable cooker, and that has your chosen broth in it, and they top it up with more water, and you're adding stuff as you go, as you like, from a buffet.

51:01Keyzie:Right, okay. My one's better. Keezy, you're having gross.

51:07Mike Minogue:No, my wife's just texting, she's listening to the show, and she doesn't feel like pasta tonight either. Yeah, good. So she's going to have leftover butter chicken, and I'm going to make my own homemade chicken burger when I get home. Just throw some stuff together. Now, when you have the burger, is that chicken going to be butterflied in the burger? Split? Nah, it's these little frozen fillet things. Like a whole fillet. I'm just going to get one of them out, put it in the air fryer there, get a bun out, some mayo, a bit of sweet chilli there. Yeah, okay. Oh, what, you can bang on about peppers.

51:38Mike Minogue:Wrong hot pot. Pugs. Enjoy your gig, pugs.

51:41Jason Hoyte:Yeah, you're going to a gig, I believe. Yes, it's an artist I haven't listened to before, but apparently Prebs was saying they're experimental piano. Great. And he's going to be there. And it's at a venue I've never been to before. But there's a Reburg around the corner, so I'm going to hit that for dinner and then just sort of mosey on over. Bloody good. Yeah, man.

51:57Keyzie:Hey, thanks for listening to the show. Make sure you check out the Instagram. Make sure you check out the podcast. The fellows will be back same time, same place tomorrow. Till then, good night. Bye.