FULL SHOW: The A-List (feat. Paul Douglas)

15:25Keyzie:Yeah, yeah. Well, it is actually a remarkable phenomenon. Gyms in January are always chocker, and then it just gradually falls away as the year goes on.

15:38Jase:When maybe everyone's pregnant. Wow, that's right. A lot of babies born in September, actually. That obviously explains it. Thank you so much for your input there, Sarah. We'll flick your re-burger voucher for participating, mate. That'll help. I'll be hungry. Yeah, good stuff. Bloody awesome. Should we get back to the countdown there, fellas? Yes, please, man. What number are we up to there? Jason Hoyt? 107. What? The Hauraki Big Show. Weekdays from four on Radio Hauraki.

16:04Keyzie:Stone Temple Pilots there on the Radio Hauraki Big Show. Coming in at number 105 on the countdown. 106. Oh, 106, was it? Sorry, I didn't have my glasses. on. You could just put them on before you go on the rack. Close enough though, man. Yeah, yeah. There or thereabouts, Fizzy. Yeah, it was in the hundreds.

16:19Jase:You know, keep your New Year's resolution, don't do it. What's the difference? Who cares? It all comes out

16:24Keyzie:in the wash, doesn't it, fellas? What wash? Let's talk TV. What's on the telly with Mike Minogue?

16:36Jase:Yes. I don't know if you guys know, but I went over to Europe. Wow, really? You're You're joking. And while I was on the plane, man, I watched all of these different shows, et cetera, all of these different movies, et cetera. This one I watched was called Ex-Husbands. Ex-Husbands. Instant three buzzies because it was one hour, 39 minutes. It's not wasting my time. I'm busy on the plane. You know what I mean? Yeah, you've got a huge stuff to it. Get me out. Yeah, yeah. The cast, Griffin Dunn, you might remember him. He's been in a lot of stuff. More of a supporting sort of a dude. but the idea of it is he's a dentist, he's facing a midlife crisis after his wife of 35 years leaves him.

17:17Jase:You'll be able to relate to this, Jason, in a few years. On the spur of the moment, he books a trip to Mexico and crashes his son's bachelor party. Now, that sounds like a fun romp, doesn't it? It sure does. It's not a fun romp. It's perfectly fine. Three stars for being an hour 39, and that's about all it gets. Is it a comedy? Kind of. A comedy drama. There's a couple of little lulls in there. It's very average. I've been offended by... I get offended by the length of things, mostly. Yes. And this was short. I concur. So if it was on there, if you see it in front of you, chuck it on. I wouldn't say search it out.

17:55Jase:Much like Keys is Downstairs. What was it called again? Ex-husbands. Ex-husbands.

18:00Keyzie:In the vein of you guys banging on about Grand Designs New Zealand, I watch a program quite regularly, much to my shame, called Selling Houses Australia. Love that show. I love that show. What really annoys me about this show, genuinely, is basically the premise is people want to sell their home. It's looking a little ratty. They get some designers and they do a design. They sort of renovate it and then they sell the house and hopefully for more money. And they always say, what's your budget? And they go, oh, 40K. And then they come in and do all of this work that there is no way in the world would cost 40k.

18:39That's the TV show, though. The trade-off is the labour is all free.

18:43Keyzie:The labour is all free. All the things they buy are free. No, no, no. There's gifted stuff. But as a trade-off, you have to be willing to go on this television show. It's just stupid. But I watch it. I love it, though. I love that show. Was it on the Living Channel? Yes, Living Channel. Yeah, so good. I'll give it 1.97 buzzies. No, it's better than that. You love it. Two buzzies. No, come on. 2.2 Bosies, Kesey. I'm not going higher. I'll take it. Sold. I watched the first episode of Taskmaster New Zealand last night. Yeah, I don't know. I don't know. It hasn't grabbed me this season. Yeah, it's only one episode.

19:20I know, but the issue that they have, right, because I really, really like Taskmaster, and I'm used to the UK one where Greg Davies, who hosts it, is so high energy and stuff. New Zealand is so low energy. Like, Jerry's so chill. Paul Williams is so chill. A lot of the comedians are chill. It's nice to have people like Pax Asati on there, Brie Thomas Sell as well, like high energy people. Yeah, right. They need more of that. I just think, yeah, I don't know.

19:42Keyzie:They need some hoity J, effin' and jeffin'. 100%, brother. Yeah, man. It's on TVNZ. If you need something, crack up with great New Zealand talent in it. Go watch it. I think I've just watched too much of it. Yeah, okay. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

19:53Jase:Keep trying it though, Keezy. I want to hear about this every week. 2.3 buzzies, I'll give it. Nah, it's better than that. It's like three and a half buzzies out of five. Whoa. Yeah, yeah, yeah. One more tune in the countdown before five, fellas. I wonder what it is. Bit of Sublime, isn't it? Oh, now that... This is nothing but 90s on Radio Hauraki. Number 105, Sublime. Wrong way. The Hauraki Big Show with Jace, Mike and Kesey. Tune in weekdays at four on Radio Hauraki.

20:18Keyzie:Sublime there on the Radio Hauraki Big Show. The countdown's going to continue after five o 'clock. Also, we're going to get into a bit of celebrity chat. Speaking of TV, because I was watching a TV program today, you know, the A-listers and the B-listers and stuff. Yes. It was about murder, actually, in this context. I'm just curious to know where you and I and Mogi are on the scale of New Zealand celebrity. Oh, we'd be up there.

20:43Jase:Oh, yeah. I think so. I had an experience today that I know exactly where I sit. Oh, yeah, nice. Also after 5 o 'clock, Paul Douglas coming in. Paulie D. Friend of the show, great comedian. He's going on tour soon, so can't wait to chat to him. Good stuff, mate. The Hauraki Big Show with Jace, Mike and Keezy. Tune in weekdays at four on Radio Hauraki.

21:05Keyzie:Welcome back, you massive backbones. How's your Thursday going? Let us know on 3483. You're listening to The Big Show brought to you by Reburger. Beef, chicken, vegan and vegetarian options too. Reburger, redefining the norm. Yummy. Deesh, that's how you do it, fellas. That's how you do it, man. The hell was that?

21:23Jase:I was going to say that's how you suck it, but then something happened between my brain and my mouth that didn't come out. Yeah, right. So that's behind the scenes of the big show. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I mean, you don't have to say that's how you suck it. You can say that is how you do it. No, well, I know, and that's what I thought. In that split second, I made no decision at all, really. It came out a little bit weird. Like you at the top of the show, and we'll be talking about that after the show. Really? That abomination when you first intro'd, you know, the rebug of stuff. I like what he's done here.

21:50He's gone back to when I cocked it up an hour ago.

21:53Jase:Do you like that? Well, we can talk about that after the show. It's just a radio technique we use, Casey, but we'll talk about that after the show.

22:00Keyzie:I never cock up, so you fellas must be spiguing about that. Spiguing?

22:09Jase:Spiguing! You're the man, Chase.

22:12Keyzie:Thanks, fellas. You're the man. I don't know if we did that on purpose or not. Of course I did it on purpose. I'm a bad guy. I was just trying to make you fellas feel better about your screw-ups. I feel way better, Jase.

22:29Jase:Thank you. I must have eaten something funny because I think I'm going to be spiguing soon.

22:35Keyzie:Hi. Shall we get back to the countdown? Oh, the countdown? We're going back. Wake up and smell the 90s. Now. The nothing but 90s countdown on Hauraki. Thanks to Super Liquor. Celebrating 30 years of cheers. That's right. Celebrating 30 years of Super Liquor by throwing it back to the 90s, the decade where they were first born. Oh, come on, guys. Come on, guys. Not in the middle of a sponsor's ring, man. Shout out to Super Liquor. They've got special deals and also prizes to be won in store all week, too, to celebrate. Plus, big countdown, which actually wraps up tomorrow. About this time, actually.

23:11Yeah, it'll be about this time. Tomorrow's a big day, so make sure you tune in. What number are we up to there, Jase?

23:17Keyzie:We always have a really good party for these things, too. Oh, my God, man. It is huge. It just goes off. Do not enter the Auckland. CBD. Do not enter the CBD of Auckland unless you want to get just smacked over. Yeah. It's going to be prison. And that's just a general thing for any night of the week, to be honest. It's pretty dodgy in the city centre now. As to what we're up to, Keezy 104, I believe. Good work, man. This is Nothing But 90s. Wake up and smell the 90s. On Radio Horaki. 104. Weezer. Undone. The Sweater Song. The Hauraki Big Show, weekdays from 4 on Radio Hauraki. 103 on the countdown there, Nirvana, for your listening pleasure this Thursday afternoon.

24:00Keyzie:Fellas, I was watching something after a little round of golf this morning when I got home, and it was basically A-list celebrity murders. Right. Which got me thinking just in general about sort of, you know, the A-list, B-list sort of celebrity thing and whether or not we kind of do this in New Zealand. Like overseas, for example, it's a big thing if you're an A-lister. You know what I mean? And what I've discovered is that overseas, for example, in order to become an A-lister often, if you're not like a big actor or whatever, it requires a bit of buzzy action, a bit of OF action, a bit of OnlyFans or something like that.

24:37Keyzie:I'm talking about influencers here who get into the A-list by. Really?

24:42Jase:Yeah, totally. Oh, yeah. I don't think there is anyone on OnlyFans who's an A-lister. Oh, right. Yeah. I don't think so. No, and you've searched thoroughly as well. I mean, I've tried to find them. Yes. I mean, you know. I've spent thousands trying to find them. D, C, D. Yeah, I've maybe sort of explained that the wrong way

24:57Keyzie:in terms of getting followers and being known and being an influence. But, yeah, you're right.

25:02Jase:So they're not getting invited to the latest red carpet. They're not going to Cannes, are they? You know what I mean? Yeah.

25:09Keyzie:Yeah. No, I think that's fair, actually. So are you trying to figure out who is an A-lister in New Zealand? Well, yes, whether we have the sort of equivalent. You know overseas it's your George Cloonies, your Brad Pitts, your Angelina Jolies.

25:22Jase:What's the New Zealand equivalent? Well, I think there's two ways of looking at it. We need to decide which one we're doing. There's A-list, who on the international stage are considered A-list, which I would say would be your Taika Waititi's. I've never heard of them. Who else would be there? Maybe, to a lesser degree, Carl Urban, Kitty Jawa, Sam Neill. Or are we doing the New Zealand A-list? New Zealand.

25:45Keyzie:I'm thinking purely New Zealand.

25:46Jase:New Zealand only. Okay, good. No international, you know, that's not the prerequisite. That's not what we're measuring them against. No. Okay. Okay. So A-list, I'll put it there. Why was it Taika Waititi? Yes, he would be. So what does he do? Jermaine, Rhys Darby. Rhys Darby. See, I don't... Yeah, he would be. In New Zealand, like, everybody knows who he is.

26:07Keyzie:Fair. Sam Neill. See, I'd go Sam Neill. I'd go, like, Jonah Lomu, Tana Umanga. You know what I mean? Also on there. Yeah.

26:15Jase:There's not a limited amount of spaces in the A-list.

26:19Keyzie:Sorry. Barrett. Which one? Barrett. Bodie. Oh, I thought you were just naming guns. Because he's... Oh, McCaw. He'd be on the A-list.

26:29Jase:Oh, I thought you were talking about the bird.

26:30Keyzie:Oh, no, you know, Richie. Richie McCaw. Yes.

26:33Jase:Any woman on your list, or are you just going to be sexist about it? I would say Lord. Absolutely Lord. Lord who? You're going to allow that? Yes. Oh, the singer. Kitty Takanoa Yes The songbird Is there a bird? Of Aotearoa Is she still alive? I guess what I'm more interested in really is B Where's B? When does B start? Is Hilary Barry A? Everybody knows her Well if Hilary Barry's A But does everybody know her? Yeah no she is She is I think Does that mean Jeremy Wells is A? Wow Because he's on Hodaki So that would suggest he's not A Yeah Maybe a B plus A minus But it's A Okay B plus Jeremy Wells I would go Jeremy Wells, B+.

27:12And that's great. Yes. You know, B is good. Nothing wrong with B. But Hillary's definitely A, Jeremy Wells is B. Who else would be B?

27:24Keyzie:There's a lot of them. We're mostly Bs, aren't we? Yeah, I'd say we're a predominantly B celebrity country.

27:29Jase:But I feel like Matt Heath is probably the best known outside of Jeremy Wells on Hodaki, even though he's not on here anymore. Yeah. But he's not on the same level as Jeremy Wells. So he's a C. Lee Hart. Lee Hart, he'd be closer to B. Yeah, he'd be sort of in your Bs. Yep. So then Hoity J, you're not as well known as Matt Heath. No. Oh, you might be a C though.

27:55Keyzie:You might be a C. I'm thinking if I'm a C, it's a minus, and if I'm a D, it's a plus. Yeah. No, oh. I'd go D plus. I think though, because the good thing that you've had for your career is that clip of you and Nadia Lim. So people definitely go, oh, you're the cook the man eggs guy. Oh, look, I'm pissed at every day on the street. Look, there's no question about it. See, I'd say that's B.

28:17Jase:But no, because by and large you can walk down the street and the vast majority of people don't know who you are. That is true and I've witnessed that. But there are some people who do. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Okay, cool. So I'll put Jason. Was he C? C minus D plus. Okay. What do you put yourself, Jason? You put yourself D plus. Oh, yeah. No, you're a C. Yeah. I put you C plus. I think I'm D. Oh, right, okay. I think maybe when the shows were coming out, maybe more people then. But now people are like... Oh, Wellington Paranormal? Yeah, I had an experience today that absolutely puts me as far down the bottom of D.

28:51Jase:Like an E? Well, there is no E. It only goes as well as D. And if you're not on D, then you're not on the list at all. So maybe that's where I am. Maybe I'm not on the list at all. You're D, so I'll chuck you there. And I guess I'm C. All right, we'll wrap things up. Do you want to come back? I think we'll come back. I'll tell you this, Jan, about what happened to me today. But it was funny because then you brought this up in the chat, Jase, about celebrity. And I had just that minute had an experience that really put me in my place. God, I wish I was there for it. What number are we up to, Jase?

29:15102, I believe, Keezy.

29:16Jase:Oh, wow. The nothing but 90s countdown on Radio Hauraki. 102. Pearl Jam. Not for you. The Hauraki Beat Show with Jase, Mike and Keezy. Tune in weekdays at four on Radio Hauraki.

29:30Keyzie:Yes, indeed. 101 on the countdown there. Aussie Osborne for your feelers. We're talking New Zealand celebrities. A, B, C and D list. Yeah, that's right. We've kind of established that the A-list celebs are like your Taika Waititi's, your really famous All Blacks. Rachel Hunter. Rachel Hunter. Oh, Rachel Hunter, of course. Yes. On 3483. Lorde is on there. Jace allowed that to happen. Jeremy Wells is B-list along with Lee Hart, et cetera. Matt Heath, C-list, working his way up to the B. Jace is also, he's put himself on the C-list there. And Kesey, of course. Mike Minow, you've got a feeling today that you've been bumped down to the D, maybe E.

30:06Jase:It's hard to tell through one experience. But, yeah, I had a man over today. And he came over and we got to, you know, he started doing the work. I had him doing some work around the house. He was a hire a hubby, actually. Excellent. Really, really good. But, anyway, after about 15 or 20 minutes, he goes, oh, so. And he's a backbone, you know, sort of our backbone, sort of a fellow there. And he says, oh, so what do you do for a job? What do you do for a crust? And I'm like, oh, here we go. There we go. Here we go. And I said, oh, I'm on the radio. He goes, oh, yeah, which station? And I said, oh, Radio Hodaki.

30:44Jase:And he said, oh, yeah, man, I used to listen to that all the time back in the day. So I was like, oh. Yeah, no, you do get a lot of that on Hodaki. So, yeah, I sort of thought because he'd asked the question that he had a feeling that he'd seen me before or something like that or sort of knew me somehow, but it wasn't Horaki because he hadn't listened to us for years. So that was good. Yeah. And then he kept on doing some more work. Now, one of the jobs that he had to do, Keezy, you'll be happy about this, brother, he also went to our office and he's fixed the toilet door. That's right, because you blew the door off that ages ago.

31:15Jase:Ages ago. But it's been buggered for a long time. Anyway, he's fixing away there, he's fixing away, he's done that, and I'm waiting for him to finish so I can leave. And, you know, he's sort of been yarning away all day and walk out the door, he's finished, He's packing up his truck. I come out the door and I'm locking the door, locking up, and he goes, oh, man, can I just get a quick photo? And I was like, yeah, man, no worries, no worries. And I sort of weep to put my arm around his shoulders. No. And he's like, oh, have you? Nah. No, I'm in of the job I've just done. Oh, no.

31:55Keyzie:No.

31:56Jase:Oh, that's so good, man.

31:58Keyzie:Oh, that is a doozy.

31:59Jase:I wish I was there for that. That's excellent. I had been led all day. There was a couple of other comments that made me think that, you know, he did know me from something. And so normally I would never, ever. Yeah. But when somebody says to you, can I just get a photo? Yes. You assume that they want a photo with you, not your door on your shitter. So I think that puts me somewhere around D, E.

32:25Keyzie:No, I'd say you're like me, C minus D plus. My favourite one of that, and I've told you this before, was in a petrol station, and the guy behind the counter there said, oh, do I know you, man? And I went, oh, here we go. Have you seen Labyrinth? I don't know, man. But he said, oh, you've just got a really familiar face. And I said, oh, you know, a lot of people say that to me. And he said to me, have you ever been to prison?

32:56The Hauraki Big Show with Jace, Mike and Kesey. Tune in weekdays at four on Radio Hauraki.

33:02Keyzie:Welcome back, your massive backbones. Well, this is a special treat. And actually, fellas, I've been thinking about it. We've had a lot of comedians in this week. Hasn't it been great? Have you guys been loving it? It's been so good, man. I love it, man. It's just awesome. Speaking of great comedians, we've got Paul Douglas in the studio with us. G'day, your massive backbone. How's life? Life's good, man. And thanks for supporting the comedy industry because we're clearly not struggling at all. No. And desperately clamouring to our radio friends. Well, you know, I have a very good friend who's quite a well-known comedian.

33:36Keyzie:What's his name? I won't go into his name. He was obsessive about ticket sales and banging on. He was constantly ringing people, finding out how many tickets were sold. Always disappointed with the answer, by the way. Do you know what I mean? It was like, oh, okay. Is that Brendan Lovegrove? Yeah, it's Brendan. Oh, yeah, yeah. I mean, if you were producing him, you would have just been going, oh, God, what was I thinking? Same jokes 20 years later, of course. Yeah, yeah. And where is he now? I don't know. Do you guys broadcast to Bowie? Bowie. No, no, we don't. Just on that front, I mean, there is a threshold for comedians, surely, where you reach a point where you go, oh, you know what?

34:19Keyzie:I'm just going to do the same old material over and over again because I can't be arsed. And creatively, I'm burnt out completely. Yeah, is that you, Paul Douglas? I would argue that stand-up comedy invented phoning it in. Yes. In fact. In fact, it's run rampant because of crowd work. All that is is phoning it in at the moment. Yes, I've heard that. So if you're a crowd work comedian from where I – because Mogey, crowd work Mogey, famously an expert at crowd work.

34:46Jase:Which is exactly that reason is why I did it. because it was funny. Because he didn't prep anything. But then you go watch a really good crowd work comedian and you go, wow, they're really talented. But I didn't realise this, in the stand-up comedy world, that's kind of like you haven't actually prepped anything, we'll just go and see how it goes situation. Well, it's actually more of a monster that developed over recent years. Crowd work was just a by-product of people being difficult. Yes. Right. And then somewhere along the line, somebody was like, you know what? This is really good stuff. force the crowd into being difficult, they will say the majority of the funny things.

35:23Yeah, right. And I will reap the benefits. Yeah, yeah. It's genius, really. It is.

35:27Keyzie:It's interesting how, you know, because there's always been the theory too of stand-up comics, and I got this a lot, was that stand-up comics, I mean, you basically can't do any other job. You know what I mean? No, well, at least you're scared to, yeah. Yeah, you know, stand-up comedy is one of those things you go, oh, you know, as Brendan used to say, I can get up at three in the afternoon and then sleeping. You know what I mean? Yeah. But that wasn't the case. Have you had other jobs, Paul? Yeah, I mean, I've been a deputy registrar at a courthouse. Oh, you got it all the way up to deputy? Yeah, deputy.

35:59Did you get a badge? No, I didn't actually, but I used to wear big suits on purpose. Oh, yeah. And to judge. Yeah, well, I used to just see how big I could get the suit before the judge came. And he did. He snapped me because I turned up looking like David Byrne and talking heads. And he was just like, no, you've got to get out of here. It was my previous job. That was the last time I had a quote-unquote normal job. Was he like, well, you think you're some kind of comedian that you were like hang about? That's exactly what Judith Collins said to me, actually. Really? Yeah. She came up to the desk and I made a joke.

36:34And she says, what do you think? You're a comedian. Then my workmate said, he's actually just started about a month ago. Good luck with that.

36:40Jase:She's got a great sense of humor. Yeah, she does. She didn't scowl at me at all.

36:43Keyzie:Actually, I did an interview with her on a TV show once, Judith Collins. Collins. Collins.

36:50Jase:I love the idea of Collins.

36:53Keyzie:She's quite an intimidating woman in her own way, but she does have a sense of humour. So tell us about this tour of yours. Could be keen, because I was reading your little blurb there.

37:03Jase:Not to minimise what you're doing anyway. No, we're all going to put a blurb out. Your little blurb there. Your little blurby boy.

37:11Keyzie:Well, yeah. Because you, I mean, you know, we're all sort of, back in the day we were party animals, but we're getting of an age now where, you know. What, you and Paul? Paul and I. What? Specifically, yeah. We used to link up in the outback. Where it's like, you know, could be keen because, you know, we can't push the boat out like we used to. That's exactly what it is. You've nailed it on the head. It's really, I just don't like that you see on social media, tell me why is the opposite of somebody who's a party animal now all of a sudden like endurance sports, marathons, ultra marathons. Yes.

37:44It's like there's a whole middle ground in there of just drinking a few beers and a fun run, you know what I mean? Yeah, yeah. And that's what I'm preaching, is you don't have to give it all up.

37:54Jase:Well, that's fine if you've got a moniker of self-control, which I don't. That's like my wife saying to me, it's so nice just having a glass of wine. Why don't you just have a glass of wine? It's like, well, because I'm an insane addict. That's true, yeah. Well, this system's not for everyone. So I finish the bottle off and then another couple of bottles, and that's just as good. You know what's even better than having one glass of wine is having three bottles of wine? Responsibly. So that's the two keen system you're running then.

38:19Keyzie:I love it. I was absolutely the same. In fact, I would go to a dinner party and if there were only two bottles of wine and like six adults, I wouldn't bother drinking. Really? Because there wasn't enough there to satisfy me. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I'm not having a glass of wine, you losers. You know what they say, one is not enough. Yes. And a million is too many. No, one is too many. One is too many and a thousand is not enough. Oh, wow, that's a clever saying. When you get it right, it is. It can be. Hey, we've got comedian Paul Douglas here with us, but fellas, should we take a break and go to a quick tune?

38:57No, it's too late. I've started it. So I reckon then just come back in and we'll leave it in the same. Cool.

39:06Keyzie:Yeah, welcome back. We've got comedian Paul Douglas who's doing his tour, could be keen. Now, I've got to be honest with you, Paul. If I were to say could be keen, that means no.

39:17Jase:That's funny, isn't it? Yeah, well, I mean, you can err on the side of, because your four levels you're dealing with is not keen, could be keen, keen, and too keen. Too keen. Yes, okay. And so theoretically, too keen and not keen are like, could be keen are like hyperpositions, you know what I mean? You're kind of existing in the middle. So you err on the side of always no.

39:37Keyzie:Yeah, well, no, because I've forced myself now because I was becoming such an antisocial bastard, you know what I mean, that I had to actually go and actually do things. You know what I mean? Otherwise, I was seriously becoming a hermit. Well, this is something, this is just to let you know, if you listen to this, like I apply this to the party lifestyle, but you could apply this to anything. You know, if you're not getting out there to your taekwondo classes and, you know, the boys are like, where are you?

40:03Jase:Yeah. Then, well, I'm sorry. I just haven't been that keen lately. and they're just asking you, just give that up to a kid. Yep. We'll work on a cane. Yeah. Where are you going for your tour, Paul? Okay, so we actually had a little, we ran it back because it's technically the show I did in the Comedy Fest. We had the first one in Auckland last week. We are going to Christchurch this Saturday. Okay. The mighty ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch. Ch-ch-ch-ch. Yeah, nice. Then we're in Fitianga on September 12th. Oh, nice. How good. Yeah, at the Mighty Monkey House. It's a great little venue over there that puts on all sorts of wicked stuff, so check them out.

40:35then I'm down at the Sherwood Hotel in Queenstown on Friday September 19th 20th in Wanaka at the Rhyme and Reason Brewery and then the last show I believe

40:49Jase:listen to how slow you're saying it's like you can't remember what it is it's October I'm impressed that you've got the dates and names of the venues committed to memory. 23rd San Francisco Bar Wellington well done man well done I've got a hell of a memory guys That's pretty amazing. Yeah, it's a huge tour you're doing, man. Well, I mean, it is his tour. What do you mean? It's okay, Jason. Just because we're giving Paul a little bit of credit and a little bit of kudos doesn't mean we don't love you, man. Yeah, man, we love you. Well, that's what it feels like.

41:15Keyzie:Yeah, I know, I know. I mean, it feels like you're not giving me any, though. I mean, if I was touring, I'd remember where I was touring. No, you wouldn't. Where did we go last week with the show? Pardon? Paul Douglas, comedian, friend of the show, I'd say. When are you going to invite me and Jason out to play golf, man? We've been waiting. Are you a golfer? I told you this. He plays all the time with your old comedy buddies. No, no, no. Hold on. Hold on. All the time is like an old thing. I've actually just had to throw in my membership. Oh, really? So you don't play as much anymore? Well, I did the math, and I was going to maybe be able to get for two weekends.

41:49But then when you're not on the road gigging and stuff, you can't exactly go out golfing and ignore your wife. So I was like, I don't know how much I'm going to be able to play. So I'm now actually, it's a good thing, though. I'm a free agent. So I'll come out to the mighty Waitakere Rangers. You do, man. That's where we play.

42:03Keyzie:Do. Out west, yeah. I'm looking for golfing buddies. We're meant to play on Monday and Kesey pulled out the last minute. Let me know, man. I'm all over it. And I love a midweek, which suits you guys. Yeah, it does, actually. Yeah, could be keen to join, Jase. It means I'm not going to come. Oh, yeah. There he is. I got you. I got you. Hey, Paul Douglas, man. Thank you so much for coming in, bro. I appreciate it. Thanks for having me. Could be keen tour. it, where's the best place for people to go to get details and tickets? Punch my name in, Paul Douglas Event Finder. If you can't find it after that, I don't want you at my show.

42:36Yeah, good on you, mate. Or check out his Instagram page as well, Paul Douglas NZ. Thanks for coming in, man. Cheers. The Hauraki Big Show with Jace, Mike and Keezy. Tune in weekdays at four on Radio Hauraki. Wake up and smell the 90s. Now. The nothing but 90s countdown on Hauraki. Thanks to Super Liquor. Celebrating 30 years of cheers.

42:58Keyzie:Yeah, great stuff. And even more exciting news, fellas. The countdown's going to continue after 6 o 'clock. That's right. We're timing things perfectly so it has a perfect finish tomorrow on the big show. Make sure you are tuned in all day. Numbers 98 and 97 coming up after 6. Any guesses, fellas?

43:14Jase:Oh, look. I want to be surprised. I can't remember what there's been, but it smells like Teen Spirit's got to be up there. I don't think it'll be next. Oh, next? I thought you were talking about number one for tomorrow. No, next, I've got no idea. Yeah, no, that's a way better wish. Do you know what number? 98. Yeah, I don't know what number 98 is. Yeah. Oh, damn it. What about 97? Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. That'll be Lenny Kravitz. No, we just had... All of my life. No, we had... Not that one. I'm pretty certain... He's got more than one song.

43:42Keyzie:I'm pretty certain I know number 94. What is it? None of your business. Yeah, fair enough. Save it for tomorrow. It starts back again tomorrow at 8am, but two more to come after six.

43:53The Hauraki Big Show with Jace, Mike and Keezy. Tune in weekdays at four on Radio Hauraki.

43:59Keyzie:Welcome back, you massive backbones. Hope your Thursday night's going along very nicely indeed. Sadly, no, what's on the dinner tonight because we've got a jam-packed show, fellas, and the countdown is continuing. Nonetheless, the show is brought to you by Reburger. That's right. Handcrafted burgers, loaded fries and gourmet eats. That'll change the game. Spiguin. That's a spiguin sting that Pugs has made for Reburger. What was that one?

44:25Jase:Can you do that again? Spiguin. What's that? That was my... It's Jay saying Spiguin. Oh, sure. Because he said it wrong. That's right. That time, and now it's a sting. Spiguin. Nobody's sting out of it. Spiguin.

44:41Keyzie:It's so good that we've decided to make stings out of all of our stuff. It was your guy's idea.

44:47Jase:It was your guy's idea. That was barely recognisable. Yes. But that's good stuff. We'll put that on a T-shirt as well, will we? Spiguin. I guess so. I mean, Jase made a mistake once, and now it's a sting, and it'll be on a T-shirt. I think so.

45:00Keyzie:Fellas, you know I did that deliberately, don't you? Come on, man. You're fooling nobody, Jase. I just wanted you guys to feel better about all your stuff up.

45:07Jase:You don't want us to feel better, man.

45:09Keyzie:Yeah, I do, man. No, you don't. That's how I know you're lying. I want you to go away from the show feeling really top of your game. Yeah, okay. Hey, speaking of top of our game, the old Waz there. Yes, after Waz. They're playing a game of footy. They're playing tomorrow night, aren't they, against the Eels?

45:26Jase:They are, the Eels at 8pm kickoff there. And I was just speaking to Pugs there in Studio B, and he was saying that we've got a double pass to give away to that game. I don't know, man. No, I think we should. People don't even want to go. What, to the WARS? Yeah. With the season on the line? I think it feels like the shine's gone off it, man. People aren't talking about the WARS like they used to be. I think you're right, Jase. No, don't. The WARS, we're top four, man. This is a bloody exciting game. We need to win this to stay in the top four. and if you are in the Auckland area or drivable and you would like a double pass, give us a call now on 0800 Hoda.

45:58Hey, Keezy, where are the Eels at? They are literally like bottom of the table. One of the worst teams. However, they have started to play really well. Right, OK.

46:07Jase:Yeah, they've got a really good half back. It's starting to come together. The coach last year got rid of a few players, made some big calls, but the young fella's starting to go good, Jason. It looks like things are starting to make sense down there. Parramatta, brother. Yeah, man. But hopefully we still pump them by 30. But yeah, 0800 Hoda, if you'd like a double pass to that game in the meantime, Let's crack on with the countdown. We're going back. Wake up and smell the ninjas. Now. The nothing but 90s countdown on Hauraki. Thanks to Super Liquor. Celebrating 30 years of cheers. Number 98. We're up to Fellas and 97.

46:39The last two songs for today. The countdown will be back tomorrow morning at 8am. All G? Yeah, man. I love it. Sounds great. It's going to be a huge day tomorrow, fellas. Oh, my God. Yeah. Now. Back to the nothing but 90s countdown on Hauraki. Gangster Super Liquor. Celebrating 30 years of cheers. The Hauraki Big Show with Jace, Mike and Keezy. Tune in weekdays at four on Radio Hauraki.

47:03Keyzie:Well, there you go. Number 97, the Chemical Brothers boys. What a way to finish, eh? Yeah, that is the nothing but 90s countdown. Thanks, though, mates, at Super Liquor. They turned 30. So to celebrate, we took you guys back to the 90s when they started things up. And tomorrow it all wraps up with the final 96 songs culminating in number one, which will be played on the Hodaki Big Show, and then after that we will give away the massive 90s prize pack. So anyone that was in the draw, make sure you're listening, you know, through the day obviously, but also intently to the big show. Yeah, man. Hell of a prize pack it is.

47:35Keyzie:Now speaking of prizes, we've got a double pass to the Waz tomorrow night, who I believe are playing the Eels at Mount Smart Stadium. With that in mind, we've got Harry on the line. G'day, Harry, you mad bastard. How's life? I'm good, fellas. How are you? Yeah, good, thanks, mate. What do you do for a crust, Harry? I'm a data engineer, mate. Oh, back loan.

47:56Jase:Jeez, man. Tell me all about it, Harry, brother. Who's your favourite Warriors player, man? Favourite Warriors currently? Yeah. Luki Mikiasu, probably. Oh, Luki Mikiasu. Here he is. All right, this guy gets it. That was a test, man. You passed. Who's your favourite data engineer? That's a good one. Oh, that's a good question, mate. Probably none of them. Yeah, that's correct. That's the answer I've got written down here.

48:21Keyzie:Hey, Harry, who are you going to take with you, mate? I have to take my partner, maybe. Well, you don't have to sound so pained about it, man. No, no. It's good about me, no. Yeah, it'll be sick, man. You can't wait, eh? All right, Harry, what's the score?

48:40Warriors, 32 to 12. Nice. I like it. Love it. Last 13+. I hope that happens, Harry. Enjoy the game, mate. You and your partner have a great time, all right? Yeah, man. Awesome. Thank you so much, guys. I appreciate it.

48:51Jase:No worries, man. No worries, man. How good. So what was his job? He was a data engineer. Right, okay. Yeah, yeah, yeah. So that's, you know, when you're on your phone, Jason, you don't know what's going on. Yeah, he does that. Yeah. So you know when your phone is out of data?

49:06Keyzie:Oh, okay, that data. You call him. And you buy more data. Yeah, you call him. He'll bring around more data. I thought data was like stuff. Yeah, it's like stuff. What, the website? Yeah, yeah, yeah. No, not like stuff, the website. But, you know, you've got data on. Yeah, okay, it makes sense now. So next time you need more data, call Harry, and he'll bring you some more, and he'll sort of engineer it into your phone. Well, funnily enough, I got a message today saying I've used 100 % of my data.

49:30Jase:There you go. So I should call Harry? Yeah. Oh, bugger. It sounds like he's knocked off for the night. You'll have to wait till tomorrow. God, you watch a lot of porn. 100%. The Hauraki Big Show, weekdays from four on Radio Hauraki.

49:44Keyzie:R.E.M. there on the Radio Hauraki Big Show this Thursday afternoon. Now, the person we're about to chat to, his name is Morgan Bartram, and he's an absolute backbone. And he's about to cycle 617 kilometres for a very important and good cause. He joins us on the show now. G'day, Morgan, you mad bastard. How's life? Hey, mate. How are you? Yeah, very good, thanks. Yeah, very good. Morgan, g'day, Keezy here. When Jase says cycle, he does, of course, mean run. Oh, does it run? Yeah, even harder, Jase. That's insane. That is insane. And it's 100 kilometres a day for six days, and you finish it off on the seventh day, man.

50:24How did this idea come about? So 617 is the number of Kiwis which will be live last year. And when I saw that stat, I was like, man, that's way too many Kiwis, so it can't keep happening. So I was like, I've got to do something, and what better way than put myself through that and run 1k per person. Yeah, right. Have you, I mean, what's your experience with like long distance running, man? Because that's pretty brutal stuff. Yeah, I've done a few ultramarathons, but neither backed it up like day after day after day. But man, it's just one step at a time, isn't it? So I could just push myself. Yeah, right.

51:02I mean, I have no idea. The furthest I've run is like five kilometres. And even then, once I've passed that one kilometre mark, I'm deep in the hurt locker. What do you do to even get past that stage? because it's like such a brutal stage to be in when you're thinking about what's ahead of you. How do you block it out? Yeah, you just have to break it down, man. It's like you can't think, oh, I've got 400K to go, 300K to go. You just have to think, no, I'll do one more lap, just one more lap at a time and break it down that way and eventually you'll get there. But, yeah, if the purpose of finishing something is stronger than the pain you'll receive, you'll always get something done.

51:39Keyzie:Yeah, right. That is actually phenomenal, 100K a day. And my apologies, Morgan, I thought you were cycling it, but 100K a day running, that is phenomenal. And let's be frank, man, 617 suicides, that is an horrific figure in mental illness and mental health. It's such a significant issue in our society today. Yeah, man, and, like, through this event, I just want to raise some awareness, and, like, I'm just a kid doing it, So for you guys and the community, people coming down to run with me, we can make a difference. Look, I listened to Jason Mike's podcast with Angie, and you guys were talking about your battles.

52:22So it's really cool to see people like that out there. Yeah, it's just like no one's alone in this battle. Yeah. So Morgan there is chatting about the Mental Is Anything podcast. Angie did it, and you guys spoke on it, of course. Yes. Morgan, have you got a history of any of this stuff yourself, man? What's that, sorry? Have you got a history of dealing with mental health issues and things yourself? Yeah, yeah, man, yeah. And by doing this event, I'll be labelled as a bit of a weapon or a savage. But even now I have. A backbone? Yeah, I still have my days and get low time to time.

52:58Jase:Yeah, well, that's the thing though, isn't it, as well? It's finding the things that can help you manage your mental health. And I think a big part of that is fitness. Yeah, for sure. There's other crutches that people use, you know, alcohol and all those sorts of things, which are only really a temporary remedy, and then the next day you feel even worse. I think the fitness side of things is a big helper, and I'm assuming it's the same for you. Yeah, man, yeah, definitely. Like, when I was a bit younger, I was a bit of a drinker, and then now I've just sort of changed into running and through the lifting.

53:32And, yeah, fitness, even though it could suck at the time, you're always going to feel 100 % better afterwards. and you'll be proud of yourself and if you're proud of yourself well then you feel good yeah

53:42Jase:and also there's um you know i guess the awareness around it it can happen to anybody um and and really normalizing that uh that conversation of course the news coming through in the last couple of days about the maori all black shane christie who who passed in a suspected suicide so this isn't something that's exclusively happening um to people that that might be regarded by society as down and out. Yeah, for sure, man. And that's why it was like brilliant to see you guys go on a podcast and talk about your experiences because people will look up to you and think you guys are comedians and there's like no way, but everyone goes through stuff one way or another.

54:21Yeah, it's just community and raising awareness. Yeah. Morgan Bartram, I believe Monday you set off, Morgan, running 617 kilometres. That is one kilometre for every person who took their own life last year. How can people keep up with what you're doing, Morgan? And also, if they'd like to donate to the cause, how can they do that? Yeah, so it's on my Instagram, morgybartram. And there's a link to donate. Otherwise, South Hagley Park, 7am start every day. Wow. I'll be there. Cutting wraps, come on down, have a yarn. More people do better. and I say the Thursday, Friday, they are going to be long days.

55:03So if you're coming at night time, I'll be still there. Good on you, Morgan. We'll share your video on our story on Hauraki Big Show's Instagram. We'll also flick you a$50 Reburger voucher for your recovery, man, right? Oh, yeah. Awesome, mate.

55:14Keyzie:Good on you, mate. I hope they got the best fries. Yeah, they do amazing fries. Amazing fries, Morgan. All the best. You're back, man. I'm Jase. Yes. Thanks, mate. The Hauraki Big Show with Jase, Mike and Keezy. Tune in weekdays at 4 on Radio Holaki Yeah man That's a tune You like that That is a tune I do like that song actually Empire with the Sun They've got their first album I think it might even be their only album It was an absolute doozy It had some great summery tunes on there

55:42Jase:Oh man I mean you guys could get them behind it if you want It just makes me melancholy thinking about it Because that was such a great time of our lives Jase wasn't it I guess so Yeah when was that again? Oh, about 15 years ago. Was it?

55:58Keyzie:Yeah. That was a while ago. About 20 for me, but yeah.

56:01Jase:20 for you when that album came out, was it?

56:03Keyzie:Well, no, I mean the best time of my life. Oh.

56:06Jase:Yeah, yeah. Yeah, I mean that's a thing, isn't it, man? Music, I don't know if you find this, Jase, but it brings back memories.

56:12Keyzie:It does. It does. That particular song brings back the memory of when I used to have a hot rod. Yes, you used to have a hot rod. It was a hot rod. No, but what was it? A car. No, no, but what model was it? What make was it? Really cool. No, no, no. What year was the hot rod? Oh, this was about 20 years ago. About 20 years ago, Casey. No, but what year? You should have seen it, man. It was cool. Jase, just give me a year of the car. Well, I made it, so 20 years ago. It would have been 2005. So it was a 2005 hot rod. Yes. No, but what year was the original car that you started with to turn into a hot rod?

56:47Keyzie:Oh, it wasn't an original. I made it myself. You built it yourself. Yeah. What are those called again? Hot rods. Hey fellas, have you heard of Cranking the Hog? 17 years ago that album came out Yeah, it's actually even longer I can't believe that, Walking on a Dream, 2008 Great album Cranking the Hog, yes I have, Kesey Yeah, it's basically what Jase was trying to allude to there Where you take a car and then you sort of hot it up You crank that hog And our good mates at Panhead With their new Roadhog IPA They've got some cash and they'd like to put it towards Anyone out there who needs their hog cranked Their car done up

57:18Jase:Yeah man, it's an unbelievable deal, isn't it Jase? As you think about all the things, like for me, I'd take my Aqua. Oh, your Toyota Aqua Hybrid. My Toyota Aqua at the moment. It's got the old refurbished batteries shat the bed after 12 months. I'd get a new one of those, man. She'd be absolutely humming. But is that really like cranking a cool hog, though? That's cranking a little hog out of it, man.

57:37Keyzie:Could you also call cranking the hog souping it up? Yeah, 100%. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Souped up. Souped up. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Well, like I say, I'd put on my Mazda Axle a couple of mudflakes. some mud flaps.

57:52Jase:And would you have on those mud flaps, would it be the picture of that lady who's sort of reclining? Oh, classic. The long-legged lady one? Because that's a very popular one amongst the truckies, isn't it? You always see that all over the show. You must know this, Jase, as a guy who had a hot rod.

58:06Keyzie:I'll tell you what I would have too because you just reminded me. I might have changed the subject. Of the old truckies there, the old honk, honk. I get one of those in my car. A horn. You know how they do the horn and they do the honk, honk?

58:18Jase:It's normally when they drive past and there's a long-legged hitchhiker, a lady there, and they go past and they honk at her. Would you do that, would you? 10-4, rubber ducky. Yeah, and the people will be like, oh, wow, two honkers in one car. Hey. Truck. Oh, no, it would be a car. It would be a car. Hey, if you want to get your hog cranked. Oh, yeah, I'm keen. Head to hoducky.co.nz, send us a photo of your hog, and we'll put some cash towards making an upgrade happen. and it's all thanks to Panhead's new Roadhog NZ IPA. Just like its namesake, Roadhog is an old-school IPA built with new school hops.

58:55Crack into one now. Man, you're lying. The Hauraki Big Show with Jase, Mike and Keezy. Tune in weekdays at four on Radio Hauraki.

59:04Jase:Toosh, toosh. Tohoi, teachers.

59:12Keyzie:Well, there you go, you mad bastards. That's the show done and dusted this Thursday. Good show, man. It's Friday Eve. Yeah, man. Wow. I'm pumped. Hey, fellas, early nights tonight, please. Big day tomorrow.

59:25Jase:I was just thinking I was going to celebrate Friday Eve.

59:27Keyzie:Well, you can celebrate Friday Eve. Honestly, Friday Eve only comes around every now and then. That's true, man. You've got to really go for it.

59:34Jase:It's the only one on the 28th of this month or 29th. I don't know because I'm blind now. I can't see the date on my watch. That's how blind I am. 100 % Is that a recent thing? It's been happening for about the last year Oh man Yeah it sucks

59:49Keyzie:What I do know about Friday is going to be a big one The end of the countdown Oh my god

59:53Jase:We've got every single person in the NZME building Who is the parent company We've got a lot of other radio stations here Everybody is going to be coming in to see the big show As we count our way down to number one Yeah man We're in about five tomorrow Is that what we're aiming for? Yeah that's where we're going to aim to finish things Yeah okay It's always a bit of a like You know, that relies on the announcers throughout the entire day. Breakfast, getting things away slick. Yes. You never know. But for those that haven't been up to date today, we are doing a full countdown, I think, of numbers 200 onwards, or 199 onwards, from seven tonight.

1:00:26Keyzie:Oh, how good. How good, man. Yeah, yeah. So you can keep up to date and then join in tomorrow morning. I also remember on the Friday you're getting on it, Keezy. You've been waiting all week, you said. Oh, yeah. And you said, on Friday, I'm getting on it. You know, I do, and we'll talk about this tomorrow, but I am targeting Friday evening. Yeah, good stuff. Hey, in the podcast outro today, there was a lot of man about the house chat, if I recall. Yeah, this here says clip skills. Don't know what that is. My wife often says, I wish I was into gardening, but it bores the shit out of me. You know, if you're not interested in it, then you're not going to learn.

1:01:03Jase:But conversely, she's interested in helping people, which is a far higher value. I wish I had that, but I don't. I just don't give a shit. Yes exactly You know what I've done there I see it's called Clip Skills But it's actually Outro Clip Skills So it's about skills Yeah Oh we all make mistakes Keezy And some of us Heaps in one show Yeah Is that me? Hey Now listen up

1:01:29Keyzie:Make sure you do tune in tomorrow Don't crack himself up It is It is gonna be a massive Massive day So do tune in Check out the podcast Check out the Instagram. Until tomorrow, see you later. Bye. Love you, guys. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye.