FULL SHOW: The Bachelor Show

0:00The Hauraki Big Show. Thanks to crave-worthy street food. Freshly made with Reburger. Welcome, this is Big to the Hauraki Big Show. Really Big. With Jason Hoyt, Mike Minogue and Keezy. Oh, g'day you mad bastard. It's great to have your company this moist Thursday afternoon. It is the 31st of July 2025, and you, my friends, are listening to the Radio Hauraki Big Chode with Hoody J and Pugsan, brought to you by Reburger. Crave-worthy street food, freshly made with Reburger. Reburger. Now, I want to appeal to the people immediately off the bat. Oh, Jay, sorry. If I could just... Reburger.

0:48Can I say what I was going to say? Yeah, sorry. Easy, yeah. Well, I was going to say, if you could text us on 3483, because old Pug-san is in a hurr of a mood. He's working his ass off at the moment, and he's just feeling really down in the dump. So if you want to send through a cheerful message and give him a bit of a boost on 3483, I know that he'd be greatly appreciative. Listen, man, there's nothing that can get me down when I'm in the room with you, brother. And we're doing this show together, man. It's you and me, Spamboy and the Jazz. Well, I mean, I was in the room with you just before when you smashed the glass against the studio wall there.

1:27Yeah, but that was the old me. You know what I mean? This is the new me. Hey, now listen, man. Something very special happened to me today on the golf course. Oh, yeah? And it was not golf related. Oh. And I want to share the story with the listeners in this first break because I think there was something very symbolic and I want to understand what it all means, Pugson. Okay, so that's up next. It sure is. In the meantime, though, we'll kick off with a bit of Billy Idol. The Hauraki Big Show with Jason Hoyt, Mike Minogue and Kesey. Metallica there on the radio Hauraki Big Show this Thursday afternoon.

2:06Now, something amazing happened today for me, Pugs. Yeah. And this is a true story. It's not a Hoytie J sort of fantasy. I don't know what you're talking about. Now, I was playing golf by myself. Holy shit. Incidentally, the best round I've ever played, that is not a lie. Was there anyone there to witness it? No. Yeah, but that's not why you do it, are you? You do it because you love it. I do it because it's exercise and, you know, I can just walk around this beautiful course, effing and jeffing all over the place. Anyway, I got to this particular hole and I was feeling a little bit pooped because, you know, the first sort of four holes are all uphill.

2:50And there's this beautiful path three with a grove over the top of it. And within that grove where you tee off is a little bench. And I thought, I'll tell you what I'll do. I'll sit down and just have a little bit of a break, you know, just take in the scenery. And at that time, so I sat down, there was the most phenomenal rainbow. Like I thought I was hallucinating. It was absolutely popping. Right. But that's not the story. So I'm sitting there staring at this rainbow going, man, that's amazing. When all of a sudden, out of the bush, a faintail flies out and lands on my shoulder. Like literally on my - Not on the bench.

3:37Not on the bench. Yeah, okay. On my shoulder. Wow. For about 10 seconds, just tweeting away like it was telling me something. Right. And then it flew off. And I genuinely, genuinely was overcome with emotion. I couldn't even tell you what the emotion was. It just flew off. And I was like, what the was that? Yeah. It blew my tiny mind. And what I want to know, Pugsam, what does it mean, man? What does it mean? I've never had an animal experience like that, particularly with birds. Yes. landing on my shoulder. You know, your old fantail, they're a gregarious animal. Peen waka waka, yeah. They love being around people.

4:21I have never had a bird land on my shoulder before either, which made it all the more extraordinary. And I was like, that must mean something, surely. Should we ask the people? Yeah, okay. 3483 is the text number. 0800-HAURAKE, give us a buzz or get on the iHeartRadio talkback. We want to know what that could mean. A fantail landing on your shoulder and having a little chitty chat with you. what's the symbolism there? And the emotion afterwards. Actually, can you... Oh, Google fingers. Can you Google that? There might be something on Google. Yeah, we can get into that. We'll do it next, eh? Right, man.

4:56Here's a bit of faith no more. The Hauraki Big Show with Jase, Mike and Keezy. Tune in weekdays at four on Radio Hauraki. Oh, yes, indeed. Weezer there on the Radio Hauraki Big Show this Thursday afternoon. The time is 24 minutes past four. Somebody texted and said, was that the big show or big chose? It is the Horaki Big Chode because Jase is short and I'm wide. Yeah. Now, Jase, you had quite an interesting and fantastical experience at the golf course today. I did, apart from playing like a genius. Where I was sitting on a little bench in this grove in the bush there, just admiring a rainbow, went out of the bush, a fantail flew out and literally landed on my shoulder.

5:43Yeah. And it stayed there for about 10 seconds. I was as still as a statue. I didn't move. I was like, whoa. And it was chirping away, chirping away, and then it flew off. And I was like, what the was that about? That was amazing. Somebody did text in and ask just before we get into the rest of this, were you on Mushy's, yes or no? Not at that point. Right, okay. It sort of died off. I may have had a bucky bong or two before I went. Yeah, but you wouldn't hallucinate. No, no. Heaps of texts on 3483, all of these in the draw for a$50 rebug of voucher. We want to know what you think the symbolism is of this fan tale.

6:23Can I just say, someone's said here, can you explain this to me, Pugson? It means you're going to fire truck your bed tonight. What does that mean? Dilly, I thought it was one meaning, but Dilly corrected me and said it means you're going to do wheeze in your sleep. Oh, I do that every night, so. Oh, sweet ass. I don't think it'll be that. No, okay. Somebody here wondered if maybe you'd left some cheese ball crumbs on your right shoulder. Actually, that's a possibility. I think that's a huge possibility. I had cheese balls last night. Did you? Yes. On your bachelor night. On my bachelor night.

6:54There is a couple here say fantails seem friendly because they're after the bugs that you stir up while you're walking around. So he just wants you to get off your ass and go walking. Right, okay. So I can have a bit of a feed off old hoity J. But there is a common thing. Yes. Throughout most of these texts. And I have heard similar, but not exactly. And so I Googled symbolism of fan tales and what it means to land on you. They are often associated with death, Jase. Largely as messengers from the afterlife or the gods or as either a harbinger of death or maybe communicating messages from ones who have passed away.

7:35Wow. Yeah. And so I don't want to alarm you, but there's heaps of texts here saying that that is largely what it means. It's very symbolic in Maori culture as well. Yes, I know that. I know that. But it's not saying I'm going to die. It wasn't saying, hey, hoity J, you're doomed, mate. No. I don't think so. You're on your deathbed, buddy. And actually, to be fair, I did feel that way at that point. I was absolutely rooted. Did you have the vape out before? Did the Fantel see you with the vape in your hand? No, I didn't have the vape in my hand. I was just literally sitting there admiring a rainbow.

8:11It is saying it's definitely a visit from a person who has passed. Wow. So that could be it, man. But I've also got a feeling it might have just been your lunch on your shoulder. Yeah, the cheese balls. Yeah. The Hauraki Big Show with Jason Hoyt, Mike Minogue and Keezy. Yes, indeed. Jed there on the radio, Hauraki Big Show this Thursday afternoon. Now, we're very aware of the fact that a lot of you are missing the fellas' voices. And by the fellas, of course, I mean old Mogi and Kesey, who are currently sunning themselves over in Europe, quaffing vast quantities of wine. There's no resentment.

8:48That might be your word of the week. Quaffing? Quaffing. Yeah. Well, that's what they're doing. They're chugging. I quite like it. They are living the Eurosummer, so we do think it's time to revisit some of the big show's best archived moments. This is quite a good one, talking about your old boarding school days, Jase. Oh, my God. And pranking your mates. Actually, I didn't tell you fellas. I bumped into an old mate last night from my school days, Moggy. Oh, yeah. Gav. How does he look? It's always a bit weird when you haven't seen some for 26, 27 years. It is, isn't it? Yeah. You know what I mean?

9:18I mean, I'm one of those guys that sort of has aged really, really well. And then you meet a mate that you haven't seen for 20-odd years, and they look like 80. Well, Gav. You know what I mean? Gav would be at least, what, 70? Why? Why would he be 70, Keezy? Well, he went to school with Jase. Yeah, I'm 42. Oh. Yeah. You've got a memory like a... But it was actually funny because he was a real character at school. He was one of those guys that was... It didn't matter what sport he was playing, he was, like, brilliant. Oh, yeah. Brilliant at every sport. People hate it when you're like that. He was the sort of guy, like in the first 15 rugby, who would, he played fullback, who would get the ball in the 22 and then just run through the entire opposition and score trials.

10:03I used to do that. And seriously, he had people, reps coming out to sort of have a look at him. Yeah. He was a real rep. Do you remember the old Charlie? Giving each other Charlies? Giving someone a Charlie, a knee to the thigh. A Charlie, like a knee to the thigh. We used to do that. We didn't have a name for it, though. Yeah. Well, we used to do that to old Gab all the time. Oh, yeah. Why? Wow, it was just a thing. Yeah, well, I think it was jealousy. Yeah, try and bring him down a peg or two, the bastard. Exactly, because he was a cocky little bastard. Oh, I bet he was, because he was good at everything.

10:34You know, and he'd walk around the corner and he'd just go, Da-doosh! With a knee into the thigh. Da-da-doosh! Gotcha, give me! And he'd be like, oh, God, drop him. Were you a boardie? Yeah, we were all boarding school. So you'd have a knee in his leg when he was asleep? Oh, sometimes we did, yeah, yeah. But that was more, wow. Get him good. That's not that funny, isn't it? Get him good. When he was sleeping, we used to do the old elbow job. Yeah, right. You know what I mean? Because it was quite hard getting your knee up there when he was in bed. Well, he'd be sleeping, he'd go for a - Don't touch with the elbow, and he'd be like, ah!

11:03Yeah. Because it can't hurt. It can't hurt. Seriously, it got to the point we were doing it every day. Yeah. It was hilarious. And he didn't complain to the teachers or anything? Oh, no, he was a good bastard, Kesey. He wasn't a whiner like some people. Well, you get it twice as bad if you start hard. Well, exactly. We were going to double the Charlie. Right, okay. It's quite sad, actually, because in the end, we ended up giving him so many Charlies, he got septicemia in his old thigh there and actually got really, really crook. At one stage, we were literally having to carry him around the school.

11:36Oh. And then he sort of collapsed one day and it was like, oh, come on, Gav. Anyway, went to the doctor and the doctor was like, well, I know this is quite serious. turns out that he had septicemia and that we had actually killed the muscle, the thigh muscle in his leg. Right. So it ended up in intensive care. Oh, really? Yeah, and they had to, you know, remove the entire thigh muscle. Really? Yeah, yeah. That would have affected his sidestep, did it? Oh, yeah, totally poked his rugby career. Wow. Yeah, yeah. Would he have been good, like all black level? Oh, potentially, definitely provincial.

12:19Definitely provincial. Wow. Like I say, I mean, there were scouts that used to come out and watch him specifically. Yeah. And I think, actually, he was in the development side for the Auckland rugby side. Holy cow. At the peak. Right. We know he was at the peak in the 80s there. Far out. So he was in the sort of wider... You lose a yard of pace when you haven't got one of your thigh muscles. That's just facts. Totally, mate. What's he doing now? Pardon? What's Gav up to now? Oh, he's quite sad when he lives with his mum in Huntley. Yeah. You ever give someone the dead leg these days, Jess? No, not these days.

12:52No. But that was really very much a thing in my youth there, Pugson. What about you? And not while people are asleep. Right. I'm not a coward like that. I'd rather just while they're awake, you know. It was bloody painful. I remember that. The old knee to the thigh. Oh, yeah, big toe. Who's this? Oh. Iggy Pop. Sure is. The Hauraki Big Show with Jason Hoyt, Mike Minogue and Keezy. Yes indeed, Jon Bon Jovi there. The time is 4.50. Let's talk TV. What's on the telly with Mike Minogue?

13:32Yeah.

13:40My lungs sort of, I ran out of air there, Pugsone. Were you vaping? No, I wasn't. I just ran out of oxygen. Well, you know my wife left me. I'm sorry, man. And so I'm living the bachelor life. You are. And I ended up watching Sister Wives, which my wife got me into, and now I love it. It's amazing that you would watch something when your wife is away that you would watch with your wife. You know what I mean? Like if you're away, why don't you watch something you wouldn't? Well, because it just came on the TV. Like your anime porn. No, don't try and stick your anime porn on me. It just came on the TV.

14:18But then you know what happened, Pakistan? I went, you know, I'm going to listen to some tunes. Yeah, nice. So I turned the TV off and started listening to some tunes. I may or may not have been stoned at that point. Well, I'd hope not, Jase. This is a family show. Absolutely. Now, I watched a film in anticipation of another film that I'm going to see this weekend that is being released in theatres, I believe through the... I think it might be the NZ International Film Festival or something like that. So there's a screening for it this coming Sunday. It's a film called Eddington, which is coming out.

14:55It's got Joaquin Phoenix, Pedro Pascal, Emma Stone, Austin Butler, and it's directed by Ari Aster. Now, Ari Aster did a few other films. He blew up because of a film called Hereditary, which is a shocking horror movie. It's shocking in a good way. Love that one. And he also made Midsommar after that. Now, the film that I watched in anticipation of this was his third film, Bo is Afraid. It came out two years ago. Also, Joaquin Phoenix is the star in it. It's also got a few other great characters as well. That's Ari Aster. It is a trip, a very long trip at that. It's two hours and 59 minutes. Yes, it was three hours.

15:35Now, I remember you went and saw this around. We saw this around about the same time when it first came out. Yeah. And it is a long stint. It's incredibly well acted, incredibly well shot, but holy shit, it is so long. Yeah, well, Joaquin is always brilliant. He is. The thing is, I enjoyed the first hour and a half of that movie. It's like an anxiety-ridden... Yes, it drove me batshit crazy that it went so long, and I was effing and jeffing by the end of it. Really? As was my wife. We went to the theatre to see it, and it was like, this is way, way too long. I went with a mate, and we literally sat for the last hour and a half in silence, and every now and then the silence would be broken by it.

16:18There's no way. You ripping arse. And me ripping arse. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, good stuff, man. But it is a great film. I watched it again in anticipation of this next one coming out and you can watch that on Netflix, but settle in for the night because it's bloody long and it's quite controversial. It was quite polarising when it came out. I give it four buzies for the achievement in filmmaking. Stop it. What do you mean? Here's Pearl Jam. The Hauraki Big Show Podcast. You're welcome back, you massive backbones. Hope you're surviving your Thursday. You're listening to the Hauraki Big Chode with Hoody J and Pug Son brought to you by Ree Burger.

16:54Serving good times and good food. Dine-in or takeaway Reburger today. Reburger. Yummy. Sauce chicken. I knew you were going to do sauce chicken then. Really? I knew it. Is this like the golf thing? Where you got a hole in one or whatever, where nobody was at the golf course? Yeah, can you believe that, man? It's outrageous. Actually, just on you being at the golf course, you were talking earlier about your experience where a fantow landed on your shoulder sitting on a park bench at the golf course and chirped in your ear for like 10 seconds. had a little chitty chat we were wondering what the symbolism of that was somebody texted in here and said I reckon the fantail saw your massive beak and thought you were its dad

17:39people can be nasty can't they pugs oh I think it's a completely valid completely valid theory I'm already down in the dumps my wife's left I want to talk about my bachelor life next beauty

17:59Silverchair there on the Radio Hauraki Big Show this Thursday afternoon. The time is 14 minutes past five o 'clock. Incidentally, I meant to ask you, Parkson. Did you get woken up by another emergency alert this morning at about 5.30? Oh, it scared the shit out of me. Yeah. Well, it's ridiculous, isn't it? It's warning you to be safe. Yeah. But the alarm going off like that at 5.30 in the morning that he gave me a heart attack. Yeah, but that's more of a you thing than a rest of the country thing. Because I'm a bit older. Yeah, yeah. Hey, now, you'll be aware of the fact that my wife's gone away.

18:30She's over in Melbourne at the moment with my daughter. She left you. Yeah, she left me. And so I'm living a bachelor life, and it's been 28 years since I've done that. Oh, that doesn't sound so bad. That's what I thought, Pug Zone. Yeah. You know, I thought, man, I am going to absolutely cut loose. Listen to some tunes. and that as well. Yeah. I can just lie in my own filth on the couch, watch whatever I want, but there's been two things that have been kind of that I wasn't anticipating that have happened to me. Yeah. The first is that my OCD has gone off scale. Right. I didn't know you had OCD.

19:12Really badly. Okay. Like I'm a real checker of, you know, ovens, switches, and stuff like that. Locks. Locks. Yeah. Today, without a word of a lie, it took me about five attempts to leave my house. Why? What were you doing? Well, because I was doing the class. I would be up the path and I'd go, oh, my God, did I turn the oven off? Yeah. And go back into the house. On the fifth time, I was actually sitting in my car. Yes. And I was like, did I lock the door? Oh. So I got. I do the same thing. I did the hoity J. and got out of my car, yes, I did lock the door. I do the exact same thing. I live alone.

19:55I'm not in a flat. And even though my partner is staying with me, I'll still do the same thing and check through the whole house. When we got in the car the other day, it was like, why are you counting to 12 when you're checking the door? And I'm like, no, I'm checking it for the 12th time to make sure that it's locked before I leave the house. I'm sure there's meds for that, surely. Yeah, probably. But it's been exacerbated by the fact that my wife and daughter have gone away because normally there's someone at home. It's either my daughter or my wife, and I'll go, oh, it's okay. Someone's home.

20:24But there's no one there, so it's flaring in me. Yeah, because you were saying you sort of leave the house duties to your wife, eh, off here before? And that includes, like, checking the oven and stuff? And, like, the locks on the door and stuff? Jase. The other thing that's concerning me, and it's kind of related to what you were just bullshitting about just then, Pugs-Av, is I'm really afraid I'm going to starve to death. Right. Now, I don't want people to think that I'm being sexist here and that my wife does all the cooking, yaddy, yaddy, yaddy. I love cooking. I genuinely love cooking. Yeah.

21:02And it used to be, until I got this particular job, that I did all the cooking in the house. The problem that I have is when I'm by myself, I can't be arsed. So I'm literally, if I'm not cooking for anyone else, I just can't be arsed doing it. You already have a problem with not eating. We've discussed this in recent weeks when the fellas were back here that you'd come in and you'd have, like, a cracker with a slice of tomato on it for the entire day before you came in to do the show. Well, that's what I had for dinner last night. I had a cracker with a bit of salmon. Are you shitting me, man?

21:29No, I'm not shitting you. So I get to a point of such lethargy. Yes. Of such, and I was going to say self-disgust, because there is a bit of self-disgust there with some of the stuff I'm getting up to, that I can't even be asked ordering Uber Eats. Because it's like, oh, God, then I have to get off the couch and walk up to the wheelchair. Go outside and talk to another human being. Yeah, exactly. So what I'm needing is for people to send me care packages, you know, so I can just send it to the radio show and then I can take them home with me and munch on them at my own free will. Do you want to – you just want people to come up with their own ones or do you want to figure out what you want in a care package?

22:13Or you just want them to send it to the radio show? I just want them to send me food to the radio show. What about your dog squad, Money Man? Yeah, well, this is the point, you know. I can't even be arsed getting Uber. It's really bad, then. But apart from that, I'm having an amazing time. Oh, it sounds awesome. You know what I mean? I'm listening to tunes. Not getting stoned. Not getting stoned. Yeah, yeah, totally. All of that stuff. Here's Incubus. The Hauraki Big Show Podcast. The Rolling Stones there on the radio. Hauraki Big Chode this Thursday afternoon. The time is 5.27. And I need to get some advice from you, Pugsam.

22:52Ah. Because I think it's more your kind of generation thing. I got a message from one of my daughters the other night, and she's got a scenario where she's in a flat. This isn't the one that your wife left you and took her? No. Oh, this is a different one. And she lives in this flat with two other people. And she was talking about how one of the people that she flats with has their partner over pretty much all the time. Right. And it's beginning to get deep inside her goat. And she was like, so, you know, would I be within my rights to start saying, can you start paying some money then if you're going to be here every night?

23:26Where's the sort of line where you go, okay, enough's enough. They're pretty much staying full time. They need to pay money. It is a hotly debated and long contested issue when it comes to flats and student flats and even adult flats. I've lived in many flats now. I live alone now, so I don't really have to worry about that. But I have been in many scenarios where somebody has been over a lot. Yes. To the point where people are starting to have other. And you hear them shagging and stuff all the time. Well, I don't mind that. This is the thing. It's not the shagging I take issue with. You used to turn me on a little bit, to be honest.

24:00A hundred percent. It's more that they're not contributing anything to the flat. Correct. And, in fact, they're another power user. They're another water user. Yes, they're doing steamers in your toilet. A hundred percent. 100%, 100%. And it gets to a point where the inconvenience is more than the convenience of hearing the shagging. You know what I mean? Hearing the shagging is not an inconvenience. No, no, no. I'm saying the inconvenience of them being there is more than the convenience of hearing the shagging. Of hearing them shagging. That's right. Giving you some material. Thank you. That's exactly it.